Toni and Ryan - Audio Queen VS Kebab

Episode Date: May 1, 2022

The Audio Queen or audio 'she's alright' is back, and Ryan proves he was in Wicked. Love ya! T xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Ashley, it's Tony and Ryan. Oh, shit. Oh, okay. Ashley, were you expecting the call? Yeah, I was. It doesn't sound like it. Well, I mean, even though we've taken you by surprise,

do you mind approving the podcast? Yeah, yeah, absolutely. It was a bit touch and go for a second, wasn't it? Hey, it's Ashley. And Rob. From Tamworth, Australia. And we approve this podcast. Let me start by saying... Hello.

Hello. I'm real excited. Can I say something? Sure. Hello. The audio queen's back. And that gets me all jazzed up, even... That's good.

Even though, I was going to say, even though there's going to be some harrowing things we're about to cover. And I'd like to let everyone know that their attendance is required. Yep, we need you. On Friday. Beep, beep, beep, beep. Oh, like in the airport.

Bing, bing, bing, bong. On Friday there is a TARP shareholder meeting. And you are required. Required attendance from chief TARP officers, a TARP shareholder meeting. And you are required. Required attendance from chief TARP officers, champion TARPers, exclusive TARPers, TARPers, and just anyone that listens to this podcast. There's a meeting on Friday. Friday. Friday.

You're hearing that correctly. Friday. Yep, it'll be on this podcast feed. We need to have a discussion about the future plans, and that's why we're getting the top shareholders together. We just, we need people's opinion. We've bought Twitter. And then we're going to buy Coke and put cocaine back in it.

But we need shareholder approval. Many hands make light work. Yeah, yeah. So Friday. Would you say it's good news though? Like, you know, would you? Tony and I fucked yesterday. That is good news.

I feel just like we need to disclose it to the members. Maybe the podcast won't be good anymore because there's no sexual tension. You know how they say like if actors have sex, then there's no like tension anymore. Hope Bridget's not listening today, your wife. I mean, she's all for what's best for the pod, really. Exactly. So that's on Friday this week.

Today, though, let's jump into some audio, Queen. Yay! We haven't done this in ages, have we? No, no. So Tony is a sound engineer by trade. Very important, very busy. And creates great audio, great sounds, great soundscapes. Yeah.

Now, obviously you don't have Pro Tools with you in here. I don't. But you're just going to use your mouth. Well, that's the best tool of all. For me it is anyway. You'd know yesterday. Wow, that was intense. Yeah.

Well, you should have been there. Yes. Sorry. I'm coughing and splattering. I've had COVID. I'm like, no, don't say, don't, because people are going to think that you've got COVID now. You don't have COVID now.

I've had COVID. We're clean. I'm recovering. Yeah. Get me the Febreze. Have you seen everybody on Instagram, like every single time they go, oh, I've got a bit of a sore throat, and then the next story is, I did it right,

like I don't have COVID, because you just know that all of the messages are going to be like, you've probably got COVID, don't go to the supermarket. Yeah. Have you seen the brouhaha happening in Sydney with the kebab stores? I love it when you say brouhaha. What I don't love, have you seen what's happening with the kebab stores? It's not that they've been opening till three,

but now they're like officially asking for the permit and they're like, no, shut them down. Shut them down. Yeah, fucking devastating. So kebabs are just, I mean, I've had kebabs during the day and they're like, no, shut them down. Shut them down. Yeah, fucking devastating. So kebabs are just, I mean, I've had kebabs during the day. They're great. But kebabs are designed for when you're hammered coming home at 4am and apparently they're going to have to close a little bit earlier.

So what you're about to hear. First the lockout laws and now this. Yeah, I know, and now this. What you're about to hear from the audio queen is the sound of the type of person that might be rolling into a kebab venue at 3 a.m. and the type of state they may find themselves in. You're also going to hear the carving meat shaving machine thing that they really do, the cash register. And unfortunately, you'll hear the inebriated buyer accidentally, because they're so blind, biting their own lip on their first bite

of the kebab. So I've got to do the cash register and the meat thing. That's a lot. You're asking a lot. I'll tell you the audio queen. Okay. Not the audio princess or the audio she's all right. The audio queen.

The audio she's all right. The audio queen. I prefer that actually, the audio she's all right. Okay. You know what we should do? You know what we should do? You know what we should do? We should go and get a kebab. Yes, we should.

We should go and get a kebab. Oh, I know the best place. It's just down here. Yeah, I really want a kebab. I do. I so agree. All right. All right, all right, all right.

I know the best place and they're open until three, so it's so good. Yeah, mate. Could me and me miso. Yeah, mate. Yeah, how are you? How's your night been? Yeah, you been busy? Yeah, all right. Yeah, look, I'll get a mixed, no onion, add cheese.

Yeah, you cheeky bastard, add extra cheese. And yeah, me miso, she'll get chicken. Idiot. Yeah, all right, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where and my sister, she'll get chicken. Idiot. Yeah, all right, mate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Where's my kebab? Yeah, yeah, mate. Fucking throw some chips in as well, mate.

Yeah, we will get some chips. That's the cash register. Yep. Oh, yeah, cheese, mate. Yeah, fuckers. Oh, fuck! Oh, sorry, I's like, yeah, fuckers. Oh, fuck! Oh, sorry, I made you eat my tongue. Well, you took me there.

Thank you. I forgot where we were. I was really there. You were about to eat a kebab. Yeah, I was about to bite into it. You thought food was coming. Look at that. I just love the chips at a kebab because they always have such good salt.

Salt, yeah, the best salt. What salt are they always have such good salt. Salt, yeah. The best salt. What salt are they using? It's not chicken salt. No. Because in Australia we've got chicken salt, which is like. Is that not a thing overseas? No.

Oh, I mean, why would you go to any other country? No, and it's literally in like a white container and it's called chippy salt. Chippy, not chicken. Is it chippy salt? Chicken salt. But isn't it called chippy salt? Google that. If it's called chippy salt. Australia has really. Yeah, not chicken. Is it Chippy Salt? Chicken Salt. But isn't it called Chippy Salt? Google that. If it's called Chippy Salt. I'm Googling it.

Australia has really. Yeah, it is. Of all the things we put our effort in. I believe you. It's loading. No, it's loading. I've got the fucking receipts, mate. Oh, sorry.

The Coles website. Chippy Salt. And it's got a chicken on it. Chippy Salt. $2.80. I mean, the price is right. Fucking inflation, mate. But, you know, but our wages, they're not going up.

Economy chat. Interest rates going up in Australia tomorrow. Mate, will there be any economic updates in the shareholder media on Friday? There will actually. Ooh, okay. Interesting. Okay. Yeah, I've got my data together.

Apparently. Mark Shelton. Hi, Mark. He's a Nottingham-born soccer player who plays for Hartlepool United. My favourite team. Yeah, he's not going to be playing. Now, this looks like a bad word. His upcoming game against Scunthorpe, which is spelled S-C-U-N-T, Thorpe.

Yeah. Scunthorpe. Maybe it's Suntthorpe, which is spelled S-C-U-N-T, Thorpe. Yeah. Scunthorpe. Maybe it's Suntthorpe. Maybe like science, how the sea is silent. Suntthorpe. Maybe it's that. I hope so. I hope.

I surely it's not Scunthorpe. Sounds awful. When you were a kid, did you ever go like if you were going to get in trouble, like, oh, we got scunted. Like we're going to get in trouble. Maybe that's a WA thing. We would always be like, oh, my God, I was so, like, home, like, I got scunted by my mum.

But you would never do that because you would never be in trouble. Did you ever use that? I said it to, like, be cool. Cool, yeah. But, no, my mum never yelled at me because I never did anything wrong. Yeah, exactly right. That's why I was like, this story does not check out. Yeah.

Mark Shelton won't be able to play against Scunthorpe because he put an earbud too far into his head. It broke off and he had to go to hospital and get it removed. So what you're about to hear from the audio queen is Mark Shelton with his Nottingham accent. What's that? I'm not the audio king, mate. We've discussed this.

And he's calling his coach from the ambulance. So he's in real pain because of the earbud. You can hear the sounds of the ambulance and you can hear him tell his coach exactly what happened, including using the word ambulance to describe where he is at the moment. This is how that phone call sounded. In future, I think that you need to get me an example of the accent. Not that it would help me, but just that then I would know. Okay.

Noted. All right, here's the phone call. We don't do feedback until the end of this episode. Fuck off. Okay. I'm stressed. There's a lot to think about. All right.

I am it or I am it yeah I'm in the back of an ambulance and I'm I yeah I am it yeah I this is more Geordie I think I don't think I'm doing it right I am yeah mate yeah I've um I was cleaning my ears you know how you do that before you go to bed and uh I've put in the right one no no problems at all, lots of wax out. And then on the other ear, it's fucking gone straight in and now it's broken off. Yeah, mate, yeah, I'm not going to be able to play Cunthorpe tomorrow. And I... Oh, sorry.

I'm going to have to bait that, aren't I? No. Oh, nah, all good. No. Play on. The audio queen is as live, mate. There's no extra, there's no cheating. It's not audio queen, she's all right, pre-recorded.

Edited after, no. Finally, now this is from a tarpa, and this is graphic. Caitlin Miera. Oh, hi, Caitlin. Meow. I was going to say, it looks like meow. Let's just call her Caitlin. No, I would like for you to say, Caitlin, meow.

Caitlin. Meow. That sounded a bit like a sexy meow. That's all. Meow. Mate, the only meows I do are fucking sexy ones, all right? Yeah, I've heard it. I'll make you squeal like a pussycat.

Are you okay? Yeah, I'm okay. I'm hopped up from the audio. She's all right. You are hopped up. Can we please call it the audio She's All Right? Let us know in the episode thread if you'd like us to change the name. Caitlin Miara.

One time I was giving my man Roadhead while he was driving. That's where Roadhead normally happens. That's not relatable for me because my boyfriend can't drive. He was driving with the windows down as we were going through, like, farm country and there were a heap of cows. So I was like, this beautiful, you know, rural drive, fresh air, cows are out there, he's getting sucked off while driving. I mean, how great is this?

Geez, I haven't used that term in 28 years. Yeah, I was going to say, wow, sucked off. Probably never. I don't know about that. I don't know, I don't like it. It's like when people say cock. Cock. Yeah, or tits. It's just, It's so aggressive. I don't know. I don't like it. It's like when people say cock. Cock. Yeah, or tits.

It's just, it's so aggressive. It is aggressive. Yeah. What would you prefer? I'd probably say boobs and then I'd probably say willy or penis. Willy is the complete opposite of aggressive. It's so. Yeah, because if you went like, oh, touch my willy, lick my cock,

you know, it's too. Yeah, but willy just makes you sound like, oh, I'm not excited anymore. I'm not turned on by the word willy. Yeah, it's not like a sexy word. Hey, get your willy out. You're like, oh. In conversation, I'd call Torbs' penis his willy donger. Okay.

Like get your willy donger out. Well, you need to grow up. But that's not in a sexy way. Okay. But I'd probably never in bed be like, show me your cock. Get your willy donger out. Because we both know what we're there for. Yeah.

He's like, I know what's required of me. I don't need to be told. Yeah. So Caitlin Miara said, I was going at it and he was loving it. Nice. He hit a speed bump at the same time that I took a deep breath through my nose and I got a massive whiff of the manure because we were going through the cow area and I immediately threw up over everything.

Fuck, that did not happen. If you're calling Caitlin a meow or a liar, you can DM her on Patreon where she sent this message. Oh my God. So what you're about to hear. Oh shit my God. So what you're about to hear. Oh, shit. Okay. Is, oh, sorry.

He screamed the cows mooed as if they were laughing at us. So you're about to hear the mooing of the cows. Bit of a moo-ha-ha. Set them through. No, we got it. Okay, cool. So what you're about to hear is the cows mooing. Caitlin going for it.

Caitlin's mate loving it. Then they hit a bump in the road. Then she chokes and throws up. He screams, cows laugh. Cows laugh. Here is Tony, the audio. She's all right. All right.

It's like the ambience of the country. Mm-hmm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh. Yeah! Ah! You've just looked out the window of the studio begging that someone's not walking by. Because.

That was a lot. You gave that everything. I did. I really did. Do you need a water? Yeah, I've got to sit down. I need a cold water myself over here. And a cigarette.

Hey, it's Ash. And Rob. From Kenweb, Australia. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Just a reminder, Friday. Friday. TARP shareholder meeting. You are not just invited, you are required.

It's actually obligatory. Wait, no. Sorry, can you say that word again? Obligatory. No, but that's not the right word. Compulsory? Compulsory. Yep.

Yeah, it is. And some of the people that we hope to see there are Emma Starr, Tony Bergen-Woods, Abbey Roy and Hellcat. Hellcat? Yes, her name is Helen. Do they get a vote on the shareholding? Totally. I feel like they're already shareholders.

Yep. So they're part of the conversation. Hellcat. Hellcat. Okay. Yeah, Helen. We were chatting actually the other day, Helen and I. Oh.

And the Patreon. How are things going for you guys? Yeah, really well. Yeah, we're getting along really well. Thinking about moving in together, which is so lovely. You've got a spare room. We do have a, well, I mean, it's currently in office. Maybe Helen could, or Hellcat and John, my cat, well, my half cat, could sleep in the backyard.

Yeah, okay. I mean, you've got room in that massive fucking courtyard. Oh my God, we could take all the champion tarpers in. How many horses could you fit in your courtyard? I'd say a stable of 12. Oh, we've got room in that massive fucking courtyard. Oh, my God. We could take all the champion tarpers in. How many horses could you fit in your courtyard? I'd say a stable of 12. We've tried. His name's Torbs. Righto, folks.

A bit of feedback. Are you all right? You've eaten a bit bloody today. I'm all revved up. I'm all revved up. Why? I've actually drank some of my coffee. Normally you just throw it all in the bin.

You paid for the coffee this morning, which is a nice touch. Didn't know that your fucking credit card worked. I don't actually have a credit card. I got rid of it. Oh, some people can't afford to not live on a credit card. Maybe it's a credit card keeping them in debt and paying interest that's keeping them behind. Wow.

Some people can't afford. They live paycheck to paycheck, mate. Yeah. Some people can't fit horses in their courtyard. I know. I don't know anyone like that. Who doesn't have a backyard big paycheck to paycheck, mate. Yeah. Some people can't fit horses in their courtyard. I know. I don't know anyone like that that doesn't have a backyard big enough for 12, 17 horses. Not very relatable.

A bit of feedback from last week. God, I can tell you what the feedback's going to be next week. I'll bring this up in the shareholder meeting. We talked about last week about when you listen to podcasts. Remember how we were talking in normal or not and we both said we don't like podcasts going to bed because it's like you're stimulated by the podcast. And you don't want to, you've got FOMO.

You don't want to go to sleep because you're like, I don't want to miss the thing. Well, for me, if I listen to true crime, my whole dream is being in the crime scene and it's terrifying. Yeah. So it turns out, Tony, that you and I are in the minority. I cannot believe it. And I think because in the US and Europe and the UK

where a lot of people listen, our podcast comes out at night. Yes. But my thing is I wouldn't listen to, and a lot of people said this as well, that I wouldn't listen to something for the first time at night, the same way that I wouldn't watch a new TV show at night time. Yep. So if an episode's just come out and then they're like, oh, great, get to listen to

my favourite podcast before I go to sleep. That's so like, save it for the next day when you're driving to work. Are you offended as the captain of this ship that you are putting people to sleep with your, in adverted commas, humour? that you are putting people to sleep with your, in adverted commas, humour. It's like if someone was like, have you heard of Tony Lynch? I'm like, yeah, I think she's a comedian.

Yeah, I would know. I think she's funny. I just hear her say welcome to the show and I'm fucking out like a light. Yeah. I fell asleep before an episode got approved once. They started ringing. They're like, cool, see ya. Would you like to approve this podcast?

A download's a download, isn't it? So if they're sleeping, that's their fault. Yeah, we'll take your listeners. We'll take it. Yeah. And if your boyfriend or girlfriend or partner is in the bed next to you, then. I'll count you twice.

Yeah. We'll take two of you. Play it loud. Make sure you both download it. Yeah, and if no one's awake when the ad's playing, we're not going to tell the brand that. 20% off. Secret between us, you know.

I just think I can't think of anything worse than taking in new information when I'm trying to wind myself down. I'm trying to get rid of information. Yeah, like I can't look at my calendar before I go to sleep. Otherwise I just think about everything that I need to do the next day. Can I tell you something that'll really fuck you off? What? I've stopped using calendars. I just remember. But you don need to do the next day. Can I tell you something that'll really fuck you off? What? I've stopped using calendars. I just remember.

But you don't remember. That's the thing. No, I don't. Yeah. But that's where I'm at. The thing is. I'm still not going to use calendars. Yeah.

It's like it's fine to not use calendars if you've got like a different strategy. Yeah. But you don't. No. And you just actually don't remember. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you think?

I don't remember. Yeah. Yeah. So what do you think? I don't know. Okay. How, if you'd made an appointment with somebody, say, I think we talked about this a little while ago, that it was like if we said, oh, let's go out for breakfast in four weeks because we really want to try this place. We can't get a booking until then. Yep.

And the day before, like, how are you going to remember that? It's in four weeks. I probably won't. So then what I have to deal with the fact that you've forgotten. Well, you'll text and go, oh, what time should you come pick me up? And I'll go, oh, fuck that breakfast. Yeah, okay, I'll see you at 8.30. Why wouldn't you just use a calendar?

Because you'd message me that anyway. But what if I didn't? It's double handling. Okay, well, I'm going to stop messaging you and that means that I'm allowed to get fucked off if you don't rock up. Okay, but how will you let me know that you're fucked off? I just think that you'd be really fucked off if somebody that you worked with

didn't rock up to your appointments and that you were sitting here waiting. What if I was sitting here waiting for you? That's very aggressive and pointed, specific language Tony Lodge. Wouldn't that fuck you off, Ryan Jonathan? Okay, I'm back on the calendar. Plug that calendar in, big boy. I've got an idea. What is it? To use, Ryan Jonathan? Okay, I'm back on the calendar. Plug that calendar in, big boy. I've got an idea.

Yeah, what is it? To use a fucking calendar? I've got two ideas. One's to be back on the calendar. Hear me out. Okay. I reckon. You know I trust you with my life.

So this idea should be good. Let's make a specific intentional episode of the podcast, like an extra one, just a one-off. We're doing that on Friday. You know, another one. Oh. And this is the, like, Tony and Ryan put you to sleep edition. I actually love that idea.

Thank you, yes. No, I do love that idea. So it won't be like, you know, no dumb shitty jokes. We'll just, Tony and I's dulcet tones will just really calm you down and tell you you look beautiful. You've got a good day to look forward to tomorrow. What about this instead? Love that. Sounds great.

How about something better? Let's circle back. Okay, what about we release two episodes. One is me reading a bedtime story. The other one is you reading the same bedtime story and people decide which one they liked better. And we can see on the back end who got more. Yep.

Fuck, that's a great idea, but I'm scared that I'm not going to win it. It won't be. Mine will be, I don't want to use the term slutty. A smutty story? Like a sexy story? No, I'm just going to, if you listen to my one. You're going to cum. I'm going to. Oh.

I'm trying to help you to sleep. But you're going to have sweet dreams and you're going to feel good about yourself because I'm going to pump you up. Go to bed, you beautiful thing. God, that wouldn't put me to sleep. I'd fucking lock my doors. I'd have to get back out of bed and lock the doors. All right, we'll send you, yeah, should we do one each?

Yeah. I reckon we do, not this week because we're already doing five episodes. Maybe next week. All right, I'll write it down. You like this though? I'll write it down. Finally. Hang on.

Tap bedtime stories. I like that. And I like to win. What does the winner win? Pride. No, we'll figure it out. We'll come out with something. Yeah.

No, I like this. This is hilarious. Yeah. Love brainstorm. Now, what I don't like is Mason, who sent me a very poignant DM. Poignant? What's the word I'm trying to say? I don't think it's poignant.

Pointed? No, poignant. Poignant means evoking a keen sense of sadness or regret. I stand by my word. Oh, okay. You said it in an angry way, so I was like, I don't think poignant is what you're after. No, he should regret what he's said to me because he's been aggressive.

Okay, let's just ignore the word poignant. Yep. God, you've given up calendars and fucking dictionaries. I've changed, man. I was a different person 20 minutes ago. Yeah. And that's what happens when you listen to TARP. Yeah, I would take them back on.

I've been binging my way through the back catalogue of TARP. Nice. And it's been really helping me through an interesting time, says Mason. Mate, happy to help you out. Oh, happy to help. And I've said this to a lot of people in the DMs. I've had some shit times before and there's been some podcasts

that have, like, got me through. So I feel like it's like a pay it forward and it makes me feel nice that I can pay it forward. And it's also like that safe space that we have both used in other people's, like, podcasts or content or videos or whatever and it's like, oh, people feel that about us. It's like we're all a family and that's why we need you to be present on Friday. Mason's gassing me up, like, oh, people feel that about us. It's like we're all a family, and that's why we need you to be present on Friday.

Mason's gassing me up, though, because he knows he's about to fucking knock me down. Oh. Listening to yesterday's episode, and I don't want to come off as rude. Well, that's like saying no offence, but I hate your clothes. No offence. You're a fucking idiot. Yeah.

Mate, Ryan, you don't really come across as a singer slash dancer. And as someone who's actually been in Wicked, I really want to know how the fuck and why the fuck you were in it. Don't be jealous, Mason. Tall poppy syndrome. Yeah. Tall poppy syndrome. So last week I revealed that yes, once I was in Wicked. And what was the line? The wizard will see you now. Beautiful. Thank you. Wow.

God. Now, this was in Canberra because the production, usually Sydney, Melbourne, and then it kind of trickles off and does your Adelaide's and your Perth's and your Brizzy. Perth is part of the original run. It's just normally the first stop. It's where they're, you know, getting the kinks out. So by the time they get to Canberra, there's sometimes a few people

have fallen off and they need to like top up with some locals. Some swing cast is what they call it. Well, I was swinging and I had my one line. And then you got on the stage. And unlike any musical theatre person, wink, nudge, nudge, my total personality changed because I was a musical theatre person. Love that. And you know how musical theatre people, it just, that's who they are now.

That's their personality. Yes. That's who they are. And they become very theatrical and dramatic throughout their whole life. So Tanya Hennessy, who I was working with at the time, she was my coach and she was a little, to be honest, a bit fucked off that I was in this play. She's super into musicals.

Yeah, and so I got this line and she was like, what? I've always wanted to do that. And I was like, oh, you know. Just one of those things. Yeah. So she wanted to get on the bandwagon and was my coach, right? And she said, the line, The Wizard Will See You Now, needs to be your whole personality for this month's run.

Oh, my God. Beautiful advice. I found some audio from our show five, six years ago. Are you serious? Yeah, I looked it up this morning. Are you sure that you didn't just record this on a microphone in another room? Well, you're about to hear.

Okay. Fuck, I'm so excited. This is when the lion, the wizard will see you now took over my whole life and I became a fucking arsehole for a month. Here we go. Ryan had one line in Wicked. The wizard will see you now. And I told him to really become the character

and God did I regret it. Ryan will open the door for you now. No, please. Just kidding, he'll now lock you out too, mate. Ryan will steal your lunch now. No, that's my time! I'm so... Ryan and I aren't as great of friends as we originally thought.

Why are you pushing me out of the room? Ryan will interrupt your voiceover now. Good morning, OPSM. This is Kay. Yeah, hi. Are you guys optometrists? Yes, we are. Well, we don't need an optometrist

because the wizard can already see you now. I've been practising my character at home as well, even if it annoys my girlfriend, Bridget. Baby, I'm going to go to bed. You want to come? Ryan will make sweet love to you now. So, as you can see, everyone had a good time. It's, um... That really took me there.

That was beautiful. I forgot we were recording a podcast. I just thought I was at a bloody musical theatre show. I've never heard a woman say, you took me there before. Where is there? So what I say to Mason is, yeah, mate, I did it. Yeah. And as you can tell, I was pretty fucking good at it.

Yeah, Mason, I just don't want you to be so bloody jealous. We should be proud of our friend Ryan. Thank you. Yeah, I love that. And love you, Mason. Thanks for listening. My love to see it is I got this message from Catherine and it's a photo of... She obviously lives on a farm or something

and she sent me this photo and it's a four-wheeler towing a trailer that on the side says... Says... Lambliance. So obviously they're sheep farmers and they have a little trailer that is their lambliance. Thank you.

That helps take you to the hospital. You love to say that. And I fucking lost it. It's like a proper sign and everything that says lambliance on the back. It's fucking hilarious. Oh, fuck me up. Are you saying Lambliance is just the biggest terrorism

against the English language? As if you can fucking talk. And that's coming from me. Oh, shit. Okay, what's your love to say it? Jake Paul. You know the YouTuber slash boxer slash bro boy rapper, one of those guys?

Isn't he an absolute fuck? Oh, no, I'm thinking of Logan Paul. This is Jake Paul, the brother. I mean, they're... Oh, aren't they both awful? No. Okay. He's cured a fan and changed one of his fans' lives forever. Cured?

Yeah. From what? Um, this is the top comment on his latest YouTube video. Yeah. He released like a rap song or something. I don't know. Okay. I mean, he wasn't in Wicked.

I mean, we can't all be. Who is? Yeah. The Wizard will not see him now. No. Jake Paul, you don't know me, but I've been in a wheelchair since I was really young. Oh.

And I just heard your music playing from across the room. Yeah. I stood up and walked across the room to turn off your fucking awful song because it was fucking shit. So, yeah, they are fuckheads. I was like, where is this going? That is fucking hilarious. It's the top comment.

Oh, give them a fucking podcast. Put them in Wicked. The Wizard will see that guy now. What a fucking lord. And everyone in the comments is just like, fucking good on you, bro. Don't you love a roast of a fuckwit? Yeah. Yeah, fuck, it's good.

All right, tomorrow on the show, things you can say in the courtroom. And also in the bedroom. Which, can we get into any legal trouble? You don't want to piss off a lawyer, do you? I don't think so, no. Okay. A lawyer's a good friend to have, I feel. Yeah, well, that's tomorrow on the show.

And also. Don't forget that on Friday, we've got TARP shareholder meeting and your attendance is required. Required. Yeah. Compulsory. All right. Don't forget to join us for the TARP shareholder...

..meow-ting. Timing was a bit off. We'll work it out. LAUGHTER