Toni and Ryan - Aussie Sayings: EXPLAINED

Episode Date: September 26, 2021

We know that we basically don't speak English in Australia, so we thought we'd explain or TRANSLATE what we actually mean when we talk. Also I have a John the Cat update, and we have an official apology. Have your say on our pod in our Facebook Group! Love ya Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hi, is that Jared? Hello. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you? Good. How are you guys? We are great.

Now, have I said your name right? Because I know in the Northern Hemisphere that's sometimes pronounced different. You are pronouncing it right, yeah. It is. No, it's Jared. How would Jared be pronounced, mate? Well, I know that Jared's from... Well, you think his name's Jard?

Well, Jared's from Canada, but sometimes in the US, they pronounce it like Jared, like Gerard kind of thing. And, yeah, OK, don't look at me like that. Jared, it is an honour and a privilege to have you on the show. I'm so excited to be on this show. How are you guys doing? How is the future? Oh, yeah, because we're ahead in time.

That's so funny. Well, it's the year 2023. We're still in lockdown. Things are going tough. Oh, no. because we're ahead in time. That's so funny. Well, it's the year 2023. We're still in lockdown. Things are going tough. Yeah, so, you know, enjoy the present where you are. Oh, gosh, okay. I will do my best. Well, we were just about to get started and record the podcast

and we wanted to know if you wouldn't mind giving us approval. I absolutely approve the podcast. I love you guys. Oh, my God. Amazing. Jared, you are such a legend. Thank you so much. And thank you for your persistence to get through.

Oh, no, that's fine. It was awesome. Honestly, such a pleasure chatting to you. It's so weird that there's people, like, on the other side of the world that are listening. It's crazy to us. So thank you. I know I've seen your video on Instagram or one of them, TikTok.

And so my partner actually said, he's like, oh, they have a podcast you should check out. And I like listen to a ton of podcasts at work. So I was like, I've been killing myself at work laughing. Oh, great. Well, I mean, don't cause yourself any damage, but thank you though. Oh, Jared, thank you so much You're the best, we really appreciate it, bud Have a great weekend, mate

You too, have fun, you guys Bye Hi, it's Jared from Alberta, Canada And I approve this podcast for sure Welcome to the podcast. Hi! Now, Tony, coming up, you have caused an outrage with a lot of people who listen from the USA about claims about how they cook their salmon.

The internet was not happy with you. Yeah, I got dragged. You got dragged. I'll explain what Tony said and the reaction when we do feedback in about 10 minutes' time. And I've got a new way to meet your neighbours. Really? Yeah.

No more offering to go around for a, what is the cliche? You got some sugar? Cup of sugar, cup of flour, an egg or something. Have you ever done that? No. No. I would feel so uncomfortable knocking, I mean, especially during COVID, but knocking on the door and being like, hi, do you ever done that? No. I would feel so uncomfortable knocking, I mean, especially during COVID, but knocking on the door and being like,

hi, do you have an egg? If someone did that to me, I'd punch them in the face. What an honour it is to say, Tony, that people are listening to this podcast from right around the world. I get the amount of messages that I get, oh, I'm listening from here and there and everywhere. It's really, really weird, but it's very cool. And just to give you some insight, we actually get the data on the back end. The data on the back end? The data on the back end. And the data is saying Tony's back end is good and A-OK.

Thank you, mate. That's just what the data's saying. I should start doing squats, I think. I've let myself go. Have you? Yeah. Nah. Yeah.

Nah, thanks, mate. I'll myself go. Have you? Yeah. Nah. Yeah. Nah. Nah, thanks, mate. I'll take it. Okay. You would. About 33% of our audience from Australia, meaning the other... 70, 67%. ...are from the rest of the world.

So here is a common thread that has been happening in our group. Tony and Ryan podcast on Facebook. Hey, guys, loving the podcast, but considering I'm not from Australia, I don't actually have any idea what you're talking about half the time. Which is fair. Fair, but strange that we all speak English, yet Australian English for some reason is so different. It's like its own dialect.

So Tony, because you are the intellect of the two of us and a wordsmith, I'm going to get you to translate some of the things that we think here in Australia are normal, but it turns out for the rest of the world, not so much. Okay, but can I just ask first, please don't tell me that on that list is throw a shrimp on the barbie. No. Because, one, people say this a lot, like, oh, throw a shrimp on the barbie.

We don't say that. We don't say that. We don't say shrimp. They're called prawns. We don't drink Fosters. You can't actually buy it. I just did a campaign for Cotton On, which is a clothing brand, that did like a Fosters. Your model or something.

Fancy yourself as a bit of all right. They hired me to have some photography taken. People were looking at you, they'd think, bit of a wink, bit of a model. But they said, we've got this, it's like kind of ironic that it's like Foster's gear and it's a bit like old school, like a bit of a throwback. Yeah, and it's kind of that thing that, oh, all I drink is Foster's when you can actually barely buy Foster's here

and it's really expensive. So I went to a few different bottle stores and I was like, oh, wouldn't it be funny if in the Foster's gear I'm drinking a Foster's? Yeah. I couldn't find, I went to three different bottle stores and I was like, oh, wouldn't it be funny if in the Foster's gear I'm drinking a Foster's? Yeah. I couldn't find, I went to three different bottle stores. And you know where we live in Richmond, there's like 15 bottle owners. There's a hundred, yeah.

It's actually easier to get a small batch brewed beer in Melbourne. Personally, with your own name on the label. Yeah, literally. It's easier to get a can of beer in Melbourne that there's only ever been one can created than it is to find anything else. Oh, but a simple foster's no chance. All right, explaining weird Australian sayings. If someone says, mate, what are they to you?

Well, if they say, g'day, mate, they're a mate. But if someone goes, mate, you're in trouble. Yeah, okay. What about if someone walks past and I look at you and go, oh, you're mate? Oh, they're a dead shit. It's obviously someone that's like not very good looking or someone that both of you don't like. So you'd kind of say like, say you and I really didn't like the same person.

You go, oh, you're mate. Like how embarrassing. I bet you're friends with them. So given these examples, the word mate means? Anything you want. It can mean friend or foe. I think whatever you, it just depends on the tone. Yeah.

Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Mate. Like, mate, back the fuck up. But if it was a friend who was being too funny, be like, oh, mate, back the fuck up. But if it was a friend who was being too funny, he'd be like, oh, mate, back the fuck up.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Or someone you want to bang. Hey, mate, back that the fuck up. Oh, mate. When someone says couldn't give a rat's ass, what they really mean is... They don't give a fuck. Couldn't care less.

Certainly couldn't care more. Are we going to need to translate your translation? Okay, and then couldn't give a fuck. Couldn't care less. Certainly couldn't care more. Are we going to need to translate your translation? Okay, and then couldn't give a fuck means I do not care for that. Okay, perfect. Should I do it in that fancy voice? Yeah, in fact, maybe just all the time. That should be your new voice. I couldn't care less about that.

I sound like Emily Blunt. Oh, that is nice. Oh, it is nice. In a video that was doing the rounds last week. Of ours? Yeah. Like a viral video. V-v-v-viral.

It was us discussing funerals in bedrooms. Uh-huh. I talked about, oh, he's finished up in a nice box. Yes. Very funny, mate. Thank you. You said, well, fuck me dead. And everyone's like, what does that mean?

Translate fuck me dead holy moly oh my god oh my gosh oh my gosh there's no literal translation but it's gasp holy moly gee whiz wow could you imagine i said that line last week and you just say, gasp. Or I went, gee whiz. Gee whiz. Oh, the penguin's back. The penguin's back. What movie is that from? Pingu?

No. No, it's not. Ice Age. Toy Story. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. Ice Age? Is that a?

Well, it's got that little squirrel in it with a nut. Yeah. Can you do that noise? Because I can't. Well, obviously you can. No, you know how people can do it really fast? Like, I can't do it. No.

That sounded like. Very wet, yeah. That's what good pussy sounds like. Sorry. That's a vine. That's a vine. Have you seen that vine? No. Do you know the vine I'm talking about? It's a vine. That's a vine. Have you seen that vine? No. Do you know the vine I'm talking about?

It's a vine. Oh, I know we're on TikTok, but it's a vine. Did you know Vine was shut down in 2000 and like five years ago? I watch Vine compilations every day. When I'm cooking dinner. On Vine? No, like on YouTube. There'll be like an hour-long Vine compilation.

I'll watch it. If anybody gives. How's lockdown going for you? Keeping yourself entertained? If somebody gave me the first line of a Vine, I'd be able to finish it, like a viral Vine. Really? Yeah.

Is that a game we should do? Finish this Vine. Finish this Vine. Anyway, fuck me dead means holy cow. I'm not here to fuck spiders. I'm not here to muck around. I'm here for a reason. I'm here to get the job done.

I'm here to do this. I'm here to. So, okay, example, if you went to a pub, which is a place where you would buy an alcoholic drink if anyone doesn't know what a pub is. Is that an Australian thing? No, that's an English thing. If you're at the pub and someone said, oh, do you want a beer, mate?

You'd go, oh, I'm not here to fuck spiders. Like, of course I want a beer. Yeah. Like, is the Pope a Catholic? It's that kind of thing, right? If we turned up to this podcast and we're like, oh, should we get started? You'd go, oh, I'm not here to fuck spiders. Exactly, yeah.

Okay. No wuckers. If you did fuck a spider, it would get in your peenie, wouldn't it? Well, then that spider would be fucking you. Under the foreskin? No wuckers is the next one. I hate it when people say no wuckers. It really fucks me off.

But it means no worries. For the rest of your days. Hakuna Matata. Now, this is actually very common and might seem overly simple, but it's actually one that throws people from the US. How are you going? Is it? Because apparently it seems like they're asking, like,

how are you travelling to the, like, I'm going into the city. How are you going? Oh, by the train. Oh. How are you going? Oh, I'm walking. But for us, how are you going actually means. How's it going?

Like, how is it going with you? How are you? Yeah. So how are you going? How are you? How's your life going is kind of. Because I remember saying, how are you going? And they're like, I don't know yet.

It's like, what? Like, oh, we'll just drive. Where did they And they're like, I don't know yet. It's like, what? Like, oh, we'll just drive. Where did they think you were going? I don't know. Like, why are they asking me? I just met you. How are your finances going? Yeah.

I'm in debt, actually. How are you going? Oh, your credit cards. Yeah, wow. Gosh, the interest. Yeah. Through the roof. Carry on like a pork chop.

Oh, don't shut up about it. Like, you just keep carrying on whinging like um you can't let something go so if you said to someone oh um oh i just like i can't get over the fact that ryan didn't call me back last night someone would say like stop you're carrying on like a pork chop like just get over it but why don't you say pork chop yeah because i feel like it's almost describing like a drama queen or someone who's, yeah, like you said, all worked up about something, which has no resemblance to a pork chop.

I wonder if back in the day when they maybe slaughtered the pig or something that maybe the pig like goes like, and maybe that is carrying on. But they're probably within their rights to be carrying on at that stage. Oh, yeah, if you're getting your bloody bits cut off. You could, fair right, to carry on, I would have thought. Yeah. Yeah, maybe.

It's a bit like saying like, oh, no use crying over spilt milk. What does that mean? I don't know, but I dropped milk the other day and we're like, oh, no more. Or like, so I'm at a point in my life where a lot of people that I went to school with or friends of mine have children, young babies, and every time they put a story up on Instagram of them like having spilt breast milk,

which I have been told many a time is like liquid gold. Like it's a lot of effort and you don't want to waste it and you can't just go and buy more. And they go, oh, that is milk worth crying about. Great story well told. Sorry, mate. Stop piss farting around. What I just did.

Stop wasting my time. All right. Now, this one is almost exclusively used during 21st's birthday parties just before the speeches. Bit of hush, please. Oh, yeah, bit of shusho. Bit of shush, please. If anybody listening to this, this is going to be a bit weird, but they say that a lot in Kath and Kim.

And Kath and Kim is this Australian TV show which is just... Awful. Amazing. What did you just say? Have my headphones stopped fucking working? They have stopped working. Yep, they can please continue. Are you joking me?

I never really got it. My whole personality is based off Kath and Kim. So for anybody that is listening that maybe isn't from Australia, you probably haven't watched Kath and Kim. You're welcome. It is incredible. It's very, very good. It's Australian comedy.

It's just so good. Please don't judge Australian comedy on that. Yeah, but I said. Do you just not like Australian TV? Because some people just don't, but I love Australian comedy. I love Australian comedy. I don't hate Kath and Kim. It obviously was a big, huge success and I didn't like it.

Just never connected with it. That's fine. But that's a very good show and if you are American or actually not from Australia and you've never watched Kath and Kim, I would recommend it because there's going to be so much stuff you don't understand. And you know what? Actually, if you watch Kath and Kim, I'm going to start a thread in the Facebook group, Tony

and Ryan podcast, about Kath and Kim. And if you've got questions about Kath and Kim, I will answer. Will that be next week's movie slash TV show maybe? Yes, and you've got to give Kath and Kim another go. I'll give it a go. All right. I'll give it a go. Well, just if you watch the first two or three episodes

of the first season, then we can reflect. Yep. Cool. All right, finally. Okay, sorry. Finally. Now, this is a tricky tongue twister. Sorry for derailing that.

No, it's fine. I felt like Kath and Kim needed to come up. Yeah. What does it mean when an Australian says, yeah, nah? And what does it mean when an Australian says, nah, yeah? What's the difference between the two? Okay. So if you said to me, I love meat pies, and I went, yeah, nah.

It's, yeah, I hear what you're saying, but nah, I don't agree. Interesting. But if you said, oh, I love meat pies, and I went, nah, yeah, that means like, nah, get fucked, it's so good. Yeah, I agree. Correct answer. Nah, yeah. So I said earlier I found a new way to meet your neighbours.

Yes. I would just like to refresh everyone's memory. Please. So early in the podcast I mentioned that we, Torbs and I, my boyfriend, we've just moved into a new house and I'm very allergic to cats and this little cat who I've decided to call John. After me.

After you. Keeps popping into our courtyard. And the first time it happened, I was doing Pilates on Zoom with a bunch of girlfriends. I started screaming, carrying on like a pork chop. And going like, holy fuck, there's a cat in my house. And like, I don't know where it's come from. I talked about it.

It's really taken off online. People love talking about John. I've posted a few photos of John in our Facebook group and all of that. Would you say it's a story of you started as foes but are becoming friends? Well, she actually hasn't popped over in a little while. Interesting that John's a she. Oh, yeah, that's the whole thing. Okay.

I feel like John's definitely a girl, but she's a John. And there's a dog that's been barking lately and I call him Jenny. So when the animals in our backyard are making noise, it's Jenny and John. Ah, the old mates. Yeah. So, all right, and you don't like cats but it keeps turning up. You don't know where it's from. I like cats but I'm very allergic.

So when I was telling everybody about John popping over, I said, and it really sucks because I'd love to give her a snuggle, but I actually can't because I'm very allergic and there was a rug outside. It was a whole thing. I have talked about John quite a lot and it actually probably has come across quite negatively how I've been discussing John. Well, I assumed that you didn't like John.

Yeah, and that's not very good, is it? No. So the other night I'm sitting on the couch and I opened up my Instagram and I got this message. John's DMG? At John the Cat. No, I had this message in my requests. Yep.

Hi there. I know this is super random, but I listened to the first episode of your podcast tonight and I now believe I'm your neighbour. Oh, my God. Is it? Oh, no. Yeah, continue.

And also the owner of the infamous kitty. It is the owner. That is infiltrating your courtyard. Infiltrating. It's like, hi, I'm Tony. I don't deal in words with more than six letters. Thank you for this DM. What does that mean?

Her name is Lila. Oh, that's a beautiful name. So much more beautiful six letters. Thank you for this DM. What does that mean? Her name is Lila. Oh, that's a beautiful name. So much more beautiful than John. She is super friendly, but we can't quite stop her from jumping over. I'm in apartment, censored, if you have any issues or want to talk directly. Is she challenging you to a duel? So this lovely woman.

When she said, do you want to speak directly, that sounds like fighting words. Also, be very aware she's probably listening to this lovely woman. When she said, do you want to speak directly, that sounds like fighting words. Also, be very aware she's probably listening to this right now. So I immediately go into meltdown mode. I'm like, oh, my God, she's heard the podcast. Also, how flattering. Yeah. Oh, my God, she's heard the podcast.

She thinks I'm an absolute witch. I've talked about her cat and I've been like, oh, this bloody cat's coming into my yard. She thinks you're a witch and she's not wrong. Literally, right. Literally. Right? Literally. Anyway, so I message back and I'm in damage control.

And I was like, hi, censored. Oh, my God, so fine. I said, I've been calling her John. Sorry. Hope that's okay. And I said, I actually don't mind that she pops around. It's totally fine. I was just giving it a bit of juice for the podcast. Do you know what I mean? Are you telling the podcast listeners right now that you've been lying to them?

No, I'm not lying to anybody, but I would just like to make it really, really clear that John is not a nuisance. I've enjoyed John coming around. You have changed tune. No. The first podcast is still out. People can go back and listen to the horrible, harrowing things you said about John. I love John.

You said you wish you were murdered. My only thing about John was that I couldn't snuggle her and I needed to make sure that the doors were shut because she couldn't come into the house because I would get really sick. And I think that that's fair enough. You're also allergic to cats. I am. So don't come at me.

First of all, I haven't seen someone backtrack this fast since I got on the Red Rooster train last week. Since you ate a nugget. Yeah. Easily bought. Coming from me. Yeah, I know. That's so rich train last week. Since you ate a nugget. Yeah. Easily bought. Coming from me. Yeah, I know. That's so rich coming from you.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, and this is just like a note for people listening. Tony Lodge, I can only imagine the fear going through your... Tony hates to put anyone out, hates to be late, hates to say anything bad, wants to keep the peace. And I'm not just saying that in a... Well, it is a nice thing, but it's also the fear of wants to keep the peace. And I'm not just saying that in a, well, it is a nice thing, but it's also the fear of that not being the case.

And it's not because I'm like a pee-poo pleaser. You're definitely a pee-poo pleaser. I just don't like, like you said, I don't like putting people out. And I really, really did not want this lovely girl who lives, you know, in the apartment next to me to think that I was just. Is she genuinely next door? She's two apartments away. Okay, because I was going to say your bed, like,

backs onto a wall with, you know, so they might know a lot more about you. Fuck off. Anyway, so I message back. I go into damage control. I was like, hey, I'm. PR crisis mode. Yeah, because I was like, oh, my God, it's going to be in the Daily Mail. It will be now.

The Daily Meow. Nice. Thank you. It's a Daily Mail for cat stories only. Yeah, very funny. Catch up. Catch up. Oh.

Okay. Anyway, so I go into damage control. I say, oh, my God, it's actually so fine. And then I said, and then I really panicked, and I was like, how do you know where I live? Oh, yeah. Because you've. She said two down.

She goes. Well, maybe it's because the bed backs onto the. She said, I'm in this number, which is two away from me. Yep. And I said, hey, this is just a bit weird, but how do you actually know where I live? Have I given too much away about where I live? Because that's not good.

Maybe it's because you've got the epic courtyard that no one else has. No. So she said, oh, the way that you've described your house made me know that it was, so her apartment is this exact same layout. Oh, like the mirror. Yeah, right. Yeah, because they're all like in a row. Oh, so you're describing yours and she's like, oh, my God.

That sounds like mine. Anyway, and then she mentioned something about one of the neighbours between us that I was like. Is it gossip? No, no, no, no, no, not gossip. She just said, oh, I said, it's actually lovely to kind of meet you because obviously we're in lockdown so we can't. I haven't met any of our neighbours.

You can't pop over for a cup of sugar because. Yeah, you can't. It's illegal. You literally can't. And I was like, oh, it's really nice to meet a neighbour. We haven't met anyone. The weekend we were moving in, we met the couple next to you guys and they seemed lovely.

And she said, oh, and mentioned the type of dog that they had. And so I was like, oh, my God, this is fucking for real. This chick lives next to me. Yeah. Two houses away. So it's real. And you've got friends now and there's a dog. But I panicked because I was like, have I told people where I live?

I think you have. By accident. It's apartment 306 in number. Shut up. Ryan. Was I right? No. No, I don't live think you have. By accident. It's apartment 306 in number... Shut up. Ryan. Was I right? No. No, I don't live in 306. I used to. Oh, it's the old one. Yeah, my old house is 304. The reason I know it's...

The reason I was going to say know this, because I went to the fourth level once, and I was knocking on the exact same apartment, but above you. Above, yeah. And I was getting real pissed off, because Torbs was like, I'm inside, just come in. I'm like, I'm at the door, it's not opening. Please let me in. This happened for about 15 minutes.

He's just like banging on their door like, hello, Tony. No, so anyway, we made friends. She kind of said, oh, we catch up with that couple, sometimes not during lockdown. You guys should pop around for a drink so at least we know that when it gets a bit hotter and lockdown's over and we're all double vaxxed, we can catch up, which is nice. We've made friends with someone in the building.

I have another question. Yeah? How do you know that any of this, what she said's true? I don't. Because you live in an apartment building, so does millions of others live in apartments. You've described, like she could have just said, oh, that's my cat, and you just believed her.

Has she mentioned the address of the building? No. Has she said the suburb? No. Has she said anything particular other than what you've already said on the podcast? Do you think that she's a stalker? She might not even live in Australia.

But she knew the type of dog that the other couple had. Have you seen the dog? Yes. Let me guess, four legs, tail?? But she knew the type of dog that the other couple had. Have you seen the dog? Yes. Let me guess, four legs, tail? No, she said the breed. What breed? I said the breed and then she said, yeah, that's the breed. Catfish, catfish, Tony's cat, catfish, catfish.

Oh, I thought I made a friend. Wrong, it was me. Was it? No, it wasn't Wrong. It was me. Was it? No, it wasn't me. It was a real genuine catfisher. You're probably going to get attacked. Change your credit card password. It's funny that it's catfish because it's about a cat as well.

Mate. Great pun. Oh, fuck off. Hey, it's Jared from Alberta, Canada, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. So we've decided that every week we're going to review a movie or a TV show. And when I say review, I mean we're all just going to re-watch it and vibe it.

Tomorrow's show, Mean Girls. And we're actually a bit of inside chat. Tony, we were like, should we do a poll so people can vote? And we went, yep, let's put Mean Girls and let's just do Mean Girls. So many comments came through. So on tomorrow's episode, your comments, reactions, and this might be really petty of me, and I want to know if other people have petty reasons

why they don't like movies, but something totally unrelated to Mean Girls has ruined it a little bit for me. I love petty shit. You're going to hear some of the pettiest shit that everyone else has about why they don't like certain movies tomorrow on the show, so we can all be petty together.

Hooking you through. Hooking you through. However, there's some feedback, and, Tony, you've got some questions to answer. A lot of feedback about our chat about dishwasher salmon. Can you just remind us of what it is and where you found it? Okay, so I found this article online, an Australian article about this guy who found a way that Americans are cooking salmon. Basically what they were doing is popping salmon in alfoil

and popping it on the top rack of their dishwasher and popping their dishwasher on, so cleaning all of their dishes and cooking their dinner at the same time. Yep. The whole idea about it is that it's supposed to be more efficient because instead of, you know, popping the oven on as well as the dishwasher, you wash your dishes and put your salmon in. So I did that to test it because we've decided that going forward

we aren't going to bitch about anything that we haven't tried. So if I see something... How honourable of us. We are just really good people. Yeah. You know? But once we've tried it and hate it, we will bag you. Oh, yeah.

Then we'll bag the hell out of it. But we're allowed to because we've tried it and we've done it. Because we're great people. Because, you know, I spent $7 on a piece of salmon. That was basically ruined. So, Logan Devaney. Hi, Logan. As an American, I feel obligated to say that I do not cook

with my dishwasher. I promise this is not an American, I feel obligated to say that I do not cook with my dishwasher. I promise this is not an American trend. Now, is it true, Toni Lodge, that you said this is an American thing that Americans do? I did say that. And? Because that's what I read online and if I read it online, then it must be true.

Alexis, she's done her research. I read one article about it and thought, great, pop that in my thesis. Yep. Alexis McCormick, I agree with Logan. Americans don't do this. And not only am I disagreeing that it's an American thing, if one American person does this, I want their name

and we'll hunt them down because I don't want my country associated with this mess. I mean, Alexis, America's a big place. You might not know them, but they could be lurking behind closed doors. Robin Lewis. Hi, Robin. An American here. When I was listening to this part of the podcast, I was gagging.

And I think on behalf of- Gagging for more content. And Robin, I think what we're all asking is, what was his name and what did you think of the salmon but there was no less and I mean you put it on TikTok and Instagram as well heaps of messages in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group how many people said I do this and how many said I've never done this as a ratio would, would you say? Okay. One person, there was one comment that said, I've tried this, but I've also had salmon cooked on a car engine and some other place, and she was like, oh, my dad was a Boy Scout,

so we used to always go camping and, like, do weird stuff. Right. So I guess it was like an alternative way of cooking and a bit of fun. Everybody else said they hadn't done it and that they were worried that I'd put the detergent in the dishwasher. Did you? Yes, I did. Because when we discussed, Tony and Ryan discussed doing this.

I was just here. I said, would you put the detergent and stuff in? Surely that's going to get in the fish. And then we realised that the reason people would do this, if they do, no character assassination intended, if people do do this, that it's for efficiency. You're not doing that because it's faster because it fucking isn't. So I accidentally put my dishwasher on heavy.

The full load. Yeah, it was a full load and it was on heavy pots and pans when I think it was supposed to be on lightly soiled. So it took like two and a half hours. I could have done that in five seconds and it would have had crispy skin. It didn't have crispy skin. It was foul. And did it taste dishwasher detergenty or just?

It didn't taste detergenty, but as I said in my TikTok, you knew it had been in the dishwasher. And even just mentally if you know. Yeah. It was off-putting. You're aware. Yeah, you knew. I think because we talked about it was covered in alfoil

and you'd cover it up, but there's only so much alfoil can do, right? It was in there for two and a half hours. Yeah. But so people were worried that I'd put the detergent in, but that was all part of the experiment. And so the experiment was a complete failure. Well, no, it wasn't a failure. And now all of America hates us.

It did cook the salmon. I would just never, ever, ever in my life do it again, and I would never recommend somebody else do it either. All right. Nikki Reynolds messaged through and said, Tony singing the Maori language pronunciation song. Maldi. Maldi.

Well, that's exactly what Nikki's saying. Maldi. Was perfection. And she was very proud. Hashtag, you love to see it. Oh, I actually got lots of messages from people that are Kiwis that are really homesick at the moment because, obviously, New Zealand's done incredibly well through COVID and they've kind of locked

up their borders and there are lots of Kiwis. My wife hasn't been home for years. Exactly. There's lots of Kiwis stuck in Aussie that can't get home and they've been really homesick. Made them feel like a bit closer to home, which was so lovely. And if anybody thought that I did butcher the language, I'm really sorry.

Well, no, everyone said it was really nice, so thank you. I love New Zealand. I've been once. I, no, everyone said it was really nice, so thank you. But I love New Zealand. I've been once. I've got like all my best friends are from New Zealand after working on Jason PJ, which is a Kiwi heavy show. Yep. And, yeah, I absolutely love it. It is like my home away from home.

Why don't maybe Bridget and I can take you for a tour and show you our favourite spots because, yeah, my wife's from New Zealand. Oh, I'd love that, yeah. Obviously then you can like get rid of us and go do your own thing. Yeah. But there's a few little spots that I reckon you'd like. It's so stunning and that's not me saying that because I'm like,

oh, it's such a beautiful place. It is honestly, as soon as I got there, I was like, oh, this feels like home. Feels right, yeah. There's just something about New Zealand that I absolutely love. Madison Hopkins said, Hi, Madison. Thanks, Tony and Ryan, for being my support podcast

during my first tattoo. Oh, I saw that. I saw that you saw that. Now, someone commented, Christine said, hey, I love this. What a great compliment. But is this smart? I would probably be laughing too much and jiggling around. And I don't know if that's the kind of environment you want with a tattoo. Now, you've got tattoos. Yeah. Can you just quick rundown of what you got? I've got one on my arm. I've got one on my shoulder. I've got some on my feet, one on my ankle. I'm assuming as a clean skin, you would have to be super still, super calm.

Maybe if you're listening to anything, it would just be like a music, something flat and distracting and kind of just almost meditative, right? Something to like distract you, like you said. Is a podcast. And she goes, guys, love the podcast. Very funny laughing along. Is that the right color? Yeah, yeah. Is a podcast. And she goes, guys, love the podcast, very funny, laughing along. Is that the right kind of? Yeah, I can't imagine so.

I think that the person doing the tattoo would be like, can you sit still? But when I saw this post, how self-centred am I? Oh. Can I guess? Can I guess? I don't think you need to guess. I think you fucking know.

Go on then. Well, so I just kind of, because we're getting so many posts in that group. We actually need to start moderating it, I think, because it's getting a bit wild in there. It's a bit like the wild, wild west. Yeah, it's Luxembourg. It governs itself.

It's like it's gone off. Anyway, we actually just hit 3,000 people in there, which is absolutely crazy. I saw the post and said, oh, Tony and Ryan podcast, tattoo, inspiration or something. And you thought they're getting a tattoo of Tony Lodge's face. That's what you thought, didn't you? Can you show me the tat?

Because I want to see what my face looks like on your ass. That's what you thought, didn't you? I thought, what would they possibly be getting from our podcast tattooed on them? Get over yourself, mate. Nothing. Do we need to have that chat about, hey, things are going well, but let's just keep our egos in check. Yeah, keep your feet on the ground, mate.

Keep your feet on the ground, mate. Stop carrying on like a pork chop. Carry on like a pork chop, yeah. Pull your head in. Pull your head in. That's another good one. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, basically, is what pull your head in means. your head in. That's another good one. Check yourself before you wreck yourself, basically, is what pull your head in means.

Yeah, so I saw that. But it wasn't a tattoo of us. All good, though. Yeah, it was great. All good. When you said, this is great, can I see it? I was like, I reckon she thinks it's of her, as did everyone else who liked that comment.

Mike in England. Hi, Mike. For some reason, me here in England gets served heaps of Instagram reels from Tony Lodge and Ryan John as if Instagram has decided that I should like them. Oh, sorry. Well, Instagram is right.

Their friendship seems so wonderfully pure. It's lovely stuff. I have gotten lots and lots of messages of people, talk it up, mate, of people saying, you guys are such good friends. Your friendship is amazing. Like, you guys are friendship goals. And you obviously reply saying, wrong, just great actors. Can't stand each other.

Yeah, we do not talk outside of this. But I would just like to tell people we met last year. Late last year, like in December. Yeah. So we had not even a full year. Our anniversary is coming up. Our friendiversary is coming up. What should we do for it?

Year one is paper. Oh, my God. Okay. Do you know what we should do? Okay. We have to come up with a gift for each other. And the first year of a marriage is paper. We should come up with something.

Okay. I know what my paper gift is going to be. Oh, is it a picture of your dick printed out? I've got two ideas of what the thing is going to be. That's so cute. But anyway, oh, sorry, I just got so excited I almost threw myself on the floor. We haven't known each other for that long.

So when people say that, it's really lovely because they can see how, like, quickly we became friends and it's just really nice. Just friends. Just friends. Don't wink when you say that. Just friends. I'm married. I'm not.

I hang out with your partner who's cleaned poo off your car seat. He has. He's committed. That's more than a ring. Yeah, that's something to do with a ring. Sorry. Kias Wilkinson Todd said, I was listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast on the tube

and spat my coffee out because I laughed and it was embarrassing. So I said, sorry, mate, I'll buy you a coffee next time I'm in London. That's where my birth father lives. So when the world is normal, I would go. Can I come? No, no. I'd like to meet Joel. I'm sure Joel would like. Can I come? No, no. I'd like to meet Joel. I'm sure Joel would like.

Can I say Joel? It's his name. I mean, it's his name. Of course you can. Yeah. All right. Well, yeah, sure. And I remembered his name, so I should get a prize.

And the reward should be that you fly me to London first class because I'd like those Qantas pyjamas that you've got. All right. You've got those first class Qantas pyjamas, don't you, mate? Yeah, but. Yeah. But you've got them. But you've got them.-class Qantas pyjamas, don't you, mate? Yeah, but. Yeah. But you've got them. But the reason I have them.

But you've got the first-class pyjamas, which is a bit of a flex. When you see someone wearing those grey pyjamas with the kangaroo on them, you know that they're doing pretty well. Guys, I'm going to buy you a coffee in London. You're welcome. And I'll be there too. I'll buy you a piece of banana bread. And finally, I got some feedback during the week, You're welcome. And I'll be there too. I'll buy you a piece of banana bread.

And finally, I got some feedback during the week and we actually owe an apology. What have we done? To Sammy. Sammy. Now, when you started this podcast, Tony, did you have in mind that you wanted to cause harm and be? Absolutely not.

Oh, because it seems like that. You know that I go through my life daily with the opposite intent. I just spat everywhere because I'm so upset. What have I done? I'm so sorry. What have I done? You're going to have to apologise to Sammy. She brought something up and I think she has a point

and you'll need to apologise and probably make it up to her. Okay. What's going through your mind? I'm really, I'm like very anxious. I feel really bad. Tony's terrified. Hello.

Hi, is that Sammy? Yes, it is. Hey, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you guys? We are good and we are calling. I've just told Tony that we owe you an apology. Hi, Sammy. I'm so sorry. And that we've brought pain

to your life. It was worth it. It was worth it. Well, do you want to, because Tony has no idea what I'm talking about. Do you want to tell Tony what happened to you during the week? Sure. So I was listening to the podcast, Driving to to Work as I always do, love you guys and it was the conversation about what you can say at a funeral as well as in the bedroom and I was already laughing as I was driving to work, I was already laughing and then when

Ryan made the joke about ending up in a nice box to end up in and your reaction to it, I kind of moved my neck a certain way when I was driving as I laughed and kind of spasmed and pulled a muscle in my neck. That must have been terrifying. I hope you weren't on the freeway. No, just, you know, bumper to bumper traffic.

So if anyone saw me, they probably would have gone, what the hell is she on? And did you need to put an ice pack on or a heat bag? Have you gone to the physio, Sammy? Well, I actually work in pharmacy. So, like, anything, like, drug-wise, heat pack-wise, I was fine with. But, yeah, it was just, like, for a few hours afterwards,

I'd go to answer the phone at work and I'd be like, oh, yeah, bit sore. That's Ryan's fault. Oh, my God. I'm so glad that we caused an injury without jokes. That's probably a real achievement for me. I feel like as someone that... How dare you, dancing on the grave of Sammy's neck.

Sammy's poor neck. I feel like as a wann... How dare you, dancing on the grave of Sammy's neck. Sammy's poor neck. I feel like as a wannabe comedian, surely that's something on the rung of... That's called Logie worthy. Oh, okay. Grant, Daniel, look out. Well, Sammy, we just wanted to, A, apologise, and, B, I know we've been DMing each other.

Can you DM me an address? And we're going to send you some flowers to say sorry and to make it up to you, okay? Oh, awesome. Thank you, guys. If you do need to go to the physio, Ryan is happy to pay for that as well. Flowers were sufficient? The flowers and if you need anything from the physio.

And flowers will be all and there will be a contract with the florist to sign off to say no more permission or acceptance will be taken. No more injuries. Thank you. Yeah, your insurance has been cut off. Well, Sammy, thanks so much. I mean, why is this all?

It was Tony's fault. Okay, thank you so much for listening and being a part of it and all the best, all right? All right, awesome. Thanks, guys. Thanks, Sammy. Bye. Thanks, bye. Oh, my God.

I thought we were really in trouble. Do you know how much a physio appointment is, mate? You're up for some cash. That's your fault. I wouldn't know. I've got health insurance. Yep, it is nice. The private health insurance.

Yes, I will have the salmon with my massage. Thank you very much. with my massage. Thank you very much. Just a reminder, tomorrow's show, Mean Girls. And on the show after that, speaking of people messaging in from around the world, I have a test for your geography skills and a question for people who listen to this podcast about their international knowledge of accents.

Okay. And the episode will be called, Is Tony Racist? Okay, I'll write that down. All right, before we head out of here, things you love to see. Tony, what have you got? Well, my you love to see it this week is that my boy, Ryan Johns, is on the telly. Oh, yes.

And a few other people in the group saw that as well. Yeah, which is very, very cool. So you went on to tackle the hot issues. They actually said, so it's the morning show, which is, I mean, every country's got the same morning show. They're all the same. And they said, oh, hey, Ryan, we're actually going to play a snippet from the podcast and talk about something that you and Tony

were talking about. I mean, they did call it the Ryan and Tony podcast. That's okay. And when they said we're going to play a snippet, I feel like everyone who listened to this podcast went, which one? Because, my God, some of that shit ain't going on the TV in the morning. Yeah, imagine if they did the fuck me dead one.

But thanks for watching. Well, it was very exciting, mate. Thank you. I'll be on there every couple of weeks, I believe. Yeah, oh, okay. Bloody nice. Well, I've got to sort it out with a radio job. Radio TV podcast.

Oh, sorry, I'm employed. Oh, wow. Must be nice. You know what is nice? You know what I love to see this week? What? And I think because I've spent so much time in lockdown at home with my dog BJ that I'm real doggy and cute and like it's in.

I'm into puppies and stuff. Yeah. Yeah. I saw this video the other day where there was this dog that was like six weeks old and it was a future police dog, but it was like its first day. Saw a little German Shepherd. Because I've never seen a German Shepherd not be massive.

Oh, they are so cute. And it was tiny and he was scared and the police officer and like the caption on the meme was like, don't worry little mate, it's your first day at school but we'll take care of you. I was gone. I couldn't concentrate on anything for hours. So cute.

I was like, you've got such a great life of chasing drug takers at music festivals in the future ahead of you. You just enjoy your first formative years, young man. Beautiful. Do you know what's really nice is when people look after guide dogs until they're ready to be a guide dog? I think it was this stage where

he'd been with that family. Now the police were actually like, yep, he's going to come into our care and we're going to start training him up. Should we do that? Should we adopt a dog together? Yeah. Yeah, okay. Which house will it live at?

Split custody. It's a broken home. All right, thank you so much for listening. It really helps us if you click subscribe or follow or whatever app the button says. They're all different. They're all different. Leave a review if you can. That's not common on a lot of apps.

No, I think it's on the Apple, yeah. Just a reminder, all your great reviews in the US, we can't see them here in Australia. We can't see them. Oh, I think I found out how to do it, so I'll figure that out. Have you got like a Visa to VPN little thingy? I thought you were about to say, have you got a Visa? I'm like, no, I use Mastercard.

See you tomorrow, guys. Bye. See you tomorrow guys Bye