Toni and Ryan - Awkward Tradie Encounters

Episode Date: October 17, 2021

I need to chat about things people hated but came around to in the end, and Ryan has a belter of a story about how hard being a celebrity is when Tradies come round to your house. Love ya! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hi, is that Kristen? Yes, it is. Hey, it's Tony and Ryan. Have we woken you up? Sorry. No, you guys are all right. Well, we're calling from Melbourne, Australia on the podcast.

How are you? I'm great. How are you guys? Yeah, we're calling from Melbourne, Australia on the podcast. How are you? I'm great. How are you guys? Yeah, we're well, thank you. Now, we just said that Tony and I wouldn't be hot enough to live in Southern California because we assume everyone there is a model. So I assume that you are a 10 out of 10 model. So thank you for, you know, talking with the regular people.

No, thank you. I mean, I know you guys can't see me, but I will take the compliment. She's like, I know you can't see me, but yes, I am a 10 out of 10. Yeah, thank you guys so much. It's hard being this beautiful. I get that all the time. Don't worry about it. I actually have a joke for you guys that I've been saving. Oh, please. Yes. Lay it on us.

Okay. So what's the difference between a chickpea and a legume? I don't know. What is the difference between a chickpea and a legume? I've never had a legume on my face. For anybody that's listening and is planning on being an approver of the podcast, the stakes have been raised and now we expect a joke as good as that one. I mean, she's funny. She's a 10 out of 10. I mean, should we even bother continuing with our day?

She's basically me. Kristen, before we get started, we were just wondering if we could get your approval. Of course. Oh my God, this has been, I literally feel like I'm talking to a celebrity. I assume that everybody in California is like hot and famous and cool. So I really appreciate this and I'd like it if we could be friends in real life. Hi, this is Kristen from Orange County, and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the OC, bitch.

They said that on the show. I hope so. I thought you were just being mean. Yeah. Smooth Narboreta. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hi. My name is Ryan John, Tony Lodge. Mate, you're right.

All of our friends here. Tony, last week thought we were at the stage where nicknames were fine Turns out I was wrong That is correct And that's fine Thank you for listening to Tony and Ryan I know you've got literally a million options to listen to right now So many podcasts So thank you for choosing us

You could go and ride a horse You could go and play laser tag You could cook something I was more getting at like there's other podcasts Speaking of cooking something actually, at the moment, because in our house we suck and we buy all this fresh

fruit and then we don't use it. Yeah. Most of the time we do use it but we've got a big bunch of bananas and I was like what could we do with them? Because they're starting to get that banana smell. Yeah. Because, oh my god. Banana bread? I'm not. Banana ice cream. Mate, okay. I'm not allergic to bananas, right, until they get past a certain point and then they make me really sick.

That's not being allergic to something. That's called food poisoning. That's called food goes off after a while and that's what happens. But, like, so bananas, I'm all good until they get a bit too ripe and then if I eat a banana that's a bit too ripe, my throat, like, starts to close up. Really? Yeah, and apparently if I eat a banana that's a bit too ripe, my throat, like, starts to close up. Really? Yeah, and apparently it's a real thing.

That food goes off and it has side effects and consequences. Yeah, I get it. But so I Googled, oh, what can I do with a heap of bananas because I did not want to cook banana bread. Banana ice cream? Banana bread is delicious, but then you've got a whole loaf of banana bread to eat and, like, that's a lot of butter. Do you know what I mean?

I found this recipe online. It was, like, four-ingredient banana and peanut butter cookies. Ooh. Yeah, delicious, right? And I'm like, four ingredients? We've probably got all that stuff in the house. It's probably going to be, like, oats and milk and some butter and the bananas.

One of the ingredients in the four-ingredient cookies was banana bread mix or, like, cookie mix. That doesn't count. Just banana bread in a different shape but like that can't be one of the ingredients you can't be like oh one ingredient lasagna and then be like just pick up a frozen lasagna like that doesn't so did you manage to find the ingredients and make it no i didn't do it they're just still rotting on my bed no that's a real shame. That's a real shame. Coming up in this episode, feedback from around the world, from people who listened to last week's Tony and Ryan,

are pretty aggressive and I'm going to say... Which we love. The tide is turning on a particular topic between the two of us who is the most trustworthy. So that's coming up. And also, tradesmen in your house, how it can be stressful. I'm going through it at the moment. I'll get to that shortly coming up. And also, Tradesman in your house, how it can be stressful. I'm going through it at the moment. I'll get to that shortly. Okay.

A little while ago, I don't think it was actually on the podcast, but we had a video go viral. Yeah. And it was me talking about those pop things on the back of your phone. Yes. And I said, I've just got one to help you hold your phone. Yeah. I don't know if I like it yet.

You said you hated it. I don't like it. I'm on the record saying no, it's not for me. Exactly. Me too. I was like, oh, because I've got pretty small hands. You do have little hands. Yeah, they're really small.

Anyway, so my fingers didn't really fit around the thing. Yep. Everybody online ribbed us and they said those pop filter things, I don't even freaking know what they're called. They will change your life. You will absolutely love it. Everybody online ribbed us and they said those pop filter things, I don't even freaking know what they're called. They will change your life. You will absolutely love it. I was like, I still don't really like it.

Jace Hawkins has one. Yeah, he does. I had to use his phone the other day and I was like, really? It's freaky, right? Because it's like this weird lump on the back. I was using it nonstop because I don't really know how to take it off. Okay. And I still didn't really like it. Yesterday, it broke. Oh, I was going to still didn't really like it. Yesterday, it broke.

Oh, I was going to say it looks a bit different. Yeah, it broke. And the sticky part is still on there because, again, I don't know how to take it off. So you've just got the base of it. I've got the base of the thing but not the thing that, like, pops out. Yeah, so it basically just looks like a big coin, a big plastic coin just stuck on the back.

Yeah, because I don't know how to take it off. Yeah. Do you want me to have a go? Do you want to pass it here? No. So I think, back. Yeah, because I don't know how to take it off. Yeah. Do you want me to have a go? Do you want to pass it here? No. So I think, well. Is it because you don't trust me? Our video guy, Franco, said the best way to take them off is like heat it up with the

hair dryer from the other side. Like take the case off, put the hair dryer on it and like the glue will melt and then you'll be able to take it off. Jeez, that feels like a process. Sounds like a lot of work, hey? And also. Good hobby. Yeah.

Figure it out. Buy a new phone case. Do you know what I mean? Get a also. Good hobby. Yeah. Figure it out. Buy a new phone case. Do you know what I mean? Get a new phone. You're rich. Throw it out. Anyway, so I was still really undecided whether I liked it or not. Okay.

It broke yesterday. Were you happy about this? I'm lost. What do you mean? I don't know what to do. What do you mean? I miss the pop filter shuffling. You don't?

I do. You didn't even like it. I didn't even like it. But now it's gone. I really miss it. And I was standing, like, holding my phone and I thought, what did I do before now? What did I do but what was life like before the pop shop it?

So now that it's gone, you love it? Yep. Was there ever a moment when you had it where you appreciated it? No. You don't know what you got till it's gone. Yeah. So when did you realise that this was not good news? The first time you picked up your phone?

Literally as soon as it snapped off, I went, oh, thank God, that thing's gone. And then I went, oh, there's no, like, spot for my fingers anymore. But you said it didn't even work with your little dainty hands. Well, yeah, I didn't really like it, but now that it's gone, I'm really gutted. You need to make a decision. I know, but then I put it, I knew that our friends, our tarpers, that they would

support me. Would they? After you bagged them out and were so aggressive telling them, these are shit. I don't understand why anyone likes it. Anyone who uses it is a fool. Well, I really didn't like it, but now that it's gone, I understand its value now. Right. So are you going to get a new one? I think I will if I can figure out how to take the old one off. So hang on.

The way to get rid of it would have been to get a new case and you couldn't be bothered doing that. Now it's broken off and you're like, I'm going to get a new case. Yes. Hang on. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you weren't willing to do it to get rid of it?

No. Because I'm too lazy. But now that I need to get a new case to take this one off so that I can get a new one, I feel like that's worth it. So you posted something about this, right? So in our Facebook group... Because I feel like this is everyone who's a hypocritical jerk. Hey, hang on.

You're super stubborn as well. You cannot tell me that there has been no situation in your life where you've dug your heels in about something and then done it and then gone, actually, that was pretty good. Are you calling me stubborn? I am. Then watch me be stubborn. I've never done that.

Very good. Thank you. Appreciate that. So our Facebook group, Tony and Ryan Podcast, you can search on Facebook or go to the links in our Instagram bios or TikTok. I posted something saying, what were you vehemently against? And then turned out you really lacked it.

Vehemently? Vehemently, like aggressively against. Are you just making up words? Is that real word? No, mate, I'm not you. You just said vehemently. I don't know what that is. Do you mean behemoth?

Are you saying venomously? No, vehemently. Let me Google what that is do you mean behemoth are you saying venomously no vehemently let me google it it's a real word and no one was mean to me on my post and i put vehemently so i'm guessing it's a real word hang on vehemently in forceful passionate or intense manner with great feeling so with gusto okay right yep oh i, you believe Google but not me. That's fair, actually. Yeah, I was like, who do you think you are? Yeah, sorry. Okay, so there was lots of responses.

One of the highest ones was TikTok. People said I was so against TikTok. Oh, gosh. I hated it and now can't get enough. Well, the thing is that people go, oh, I'm using it, but it's just like it's a joke. Yeah, ironically. Yeah, and then after a while they're oh, I'm using it, but it's just like it's a joke. Yeah, ironically. Yeah, and then after a while they're like.

I actually love it. If I just use it, ironically, five hours a day for months on end, the irony of it is no longer with you. I completely agree. You're just a TikTok user. I've got a thing at the moment where Bridget loves Reels. Yes. She'll sit there and love Reels and I'm like, just get TikTok. It's the same thing, but like a month prior she's like,

oh, no, I'm not into that. I'm like, it's the same thing. It's the same thing, but like a month prior. She's like, oh, no, I'm not into that. I'm like, it's the same thing. And most people cross post them anyway. So you're watching the same videos that would be on TikTok as well. However, as someone who loves Reels, she's really against TikTok. Really against TikTok. And I'm like, you can't love one and hate the other because they're the same thing. The same thing, yeah.

Lots of people found us through Reels and TikTok, so thank you. Yeah, thank you. So that was the biggest one. And the next one was like AirPods and Apple Pay and other Apple products. People were like, I hated the hype, never wanted to do it. But now I do it and I've never taken my wallet out of my pocket because I use Apple Pay all the time. Okay. You wanted me to put my stubbornness down? Apple Pay. And that was because of me. I said, it's really handy. Well, I still haven't done it. Oh, what? And I've just been against it because I'm like, oh, it seems like it's not worth the hassle of setting it up. And for years and years, I'm like,

oh, I don't get it. I don't know how to set it up. I don't understand it. It looks really complicated. Years I've been saying that. Do you reckon I should give it a go? I mean, it's not really, you're not really answering the question that I'm currently asking because it's when have you been studying, when have you been studying? I'm pre-empting that I'm going to look at it. Apple Pay is really handy.

When they introduced it, I was like, that's dumb. But it's really handy. What do you think of people who have AirPods? Oh, I love my AirPods. I use them all the time. It's so handy because I always talk with my hands when I'm on the phone. All good. I'm fucking free to do anything.

Hands everywhere. I haven't used them either because it's too hard. I don't know how they work. What's too hard? They're not connected. Mate, it's Bluetooth. Must be not. Mate. Mate. What?

First, the smart TV. I was going to say, I got slammed. You paid me out for having a smart TV the other day, and then people in the group said, my kid's TV has a smart TV. And now you have to be technologically advanced to use iPods. Bluetooth and AirPods. Bluetooth could not be simpler, mate. No, but I don't get it.

I don't have it. It's fine. Okay, anyways. Aren't they really expensive? But worth it? Nah. A couple hundred bucks? They're not 20 bucks.

No, they're not 20 bucks. I think they're maybe 200 bucks, yeah. But, I mean, if you use them every day, it'd be... So when I first got them, I thought, people that use AirPods look like absolute wankers, but they're so handy. Don't you lose them all? I think that I'd lose them.

Yeah, see, I thought that, but you don't. Really? Well, I haven't lost them, and I've had mine for probably, like, three, two or three years now. That is surprising because you are pretty fucking useless. That's actually not true. I'm very organised. Are you?

Were you on time today? Fuck you. Not only were you. No, I do not appreciate you bringing this up because you know my biggest thing is not being late. Is it true? I quit. Is it true that you're a beautiful human? Yes, it is. Yes, it is.

That's what I was getting at. That's what I was saying. Sydney in the group said a squatty potty. What? Do you know what a squatty potty is? No. Okay. Literally a step stool made for you to use while you're sitting on the toilet.

So you put your legs on it and it like relaxes your butthole and apparently is really, really good for. You're supposed to have your feet a bit higher than the ground, aren't you? Yes. Yeah, Torbs always puts his feet on the bin. Really? Yep. How do you know that?

Because we're adults and we watch each other poo. Well, not watch each other poo, but, like, we've seen it. And also because if he's going in to go to the bathroom, I, like, hear him drag the bin over. He's got a poop bin. But, yeah, so was totally against the squatty potty, now can't poo without it. That would be difficult when you're, I don't know, on a plane at work.

Does she have to take it with her? Imagine rocking into work each day with your squatty potty under your arm. Or maybe not bringing the squatty potty, but every time you go to the bathroom, your co-workers are dragging the bin in with you. What's that? Oh, she's just dragging the bin across to put her feet up to take a crap.

Franco says, and I don't know what this is, underwear with a dick pocket. Oh, yep. Oh, I've never heard of this before. Obviously, as a non-penis-having individual. Yep. Is that Franco, our mate Franco? No, not our Franco, different Franco, but our Franco all the

same, but not our video Franco. They would be considered, you call them wire fronts, don't you? Well, apparently. Because it looks like a pocket, but the pocket's like double ended in that there's an entry in both sides, hence you can flop your Oh, no, I don't think that that's what it is. Never really understood those

till I suddenly owned underwear like that. It doesn't matter the size of your friend down there. It's just so comfortable. I think it's actually like a little pocket, like a little bit more space. Right. So the thing that you're talking about, like how in Bond's underwear it's got like a flap like that and it's double-sided so it just like isn't like sewn shut.

Yeah. I think this is like a separate pouch for your Joey. Oh, that's nice. A pouch for your Joey. I think I – Anyway, Brooke says – My friend Liam has a onesie with a butt flap. Yeah, like for a child?

He's 34 years old. Oh. And when he needs to go number two, he doesn't need to take the whole onesie off. He just opens up the butt flap. Okay. I know that there are a lot of people that will relate to being drunk in like a bar or a pub or something.

You get a play suit. And you're wearing your play suit and you're sitting there very drunk, very vulnerable in a public toilet. Completely naked except for your whole outfit around your ankles. And normally with those things, you're not wearing a bra, so everything's out. Yeah, yeah. Liam once did get overheated at a music festival and just thought,

oh, I'll just open my butt flap and let some air in. And so he was just partying, living his best life, with the butt flap open. Like he'd just had an operation. You know how they give you the gowns with like the backless? Kind of, yeah. I got an anonymous message saying, anal. What's the question again?

I need to think this through. Something you were very against. And then you tried it and now you can't live without. Yep. And was 100% against it. Convinced to do it by an ex. Fucking loved it. Was absolutely wet for it.

Now her current partner doesn't like it. And she's tasted the good time. Now she can't have it again. Don't say the word taste. Sorry. Yeah, that's a very interesting choice of words coming to the topic. So is that like a deal breaker for them? Well, I don't know.

Sure, like. If you're into it enough to message us. Yeah, privately. To be venomously. Vehemently. To be vehemently for it and then not be able to have the vehement. In your back door. That's a real shame.

And the last one is very weird. Okay. Will says, this is a weird one, but backing up into parking spots. Yeah. Which I always do. I always reverse into a parking spot. So much easier. I used to always pull into a parking spot nose first,

but then I'd have to back out into the parking aisle and, like, hope you didn't hit anything, hope no one was, like, zooming up to try and take your parking spot. I don't think I'm good at backing him, but I'd rather do the hard bit first and then not have the stress of getting out later. But then he said, then a job I had required everyone to park nose out so that leaving was a lot quicker.

What job is that? A hitman? A hitman, a cop. So he could shoot someone and then drive away really quickly? Maybe he's delivered organs. You know when they're like, oh, we need to deliver this car. Like career priority. Yeah.

Well, I don't know. Or he just delivered fish and chips. I mean, who's to say? Yeah, and didn't want it to go soggy. You don't want your deep fried Kransky sitting in the car for too long. Excuse me, this chip feels a bit soggy. Did you park the right way at the fish and chip shop? You parked nose in.

You parked nose in. And what, now his life a bit soggy. Did you park the right way at the fish and chip shop? You've parked nose in. You've parked nose in. And what, now his life's changed? Yeah, and good for him. I mean, I don't know if it's as life-changing as anal, but we live and we learn. We live and we learn. You think getting rid of anal's hard. Try and park this car.

Try having a soggy bloody cransky, mate. Maybe it is the same story. Oh, touch me. Sorry. Maybe it is the same story. Oh, touch me. Sorry. Don't know why you would. As you know, Tony, something's happening in my life at the moment with my house. Yeah.

And actually, quick question. Yeah. I'm currently not able to live in my house because there's issues. Who is more stressed about this, between me and you? Me. A hundred percent me. So during the week, I messaged Tony and said, hey, I won't be able to chat to you later on today. I have to move back to my mum's house for a few days.

We've had some issues. The plumber has been called. There's been some issue with the pipes. Yes. And we cannot be in our house for a few days. Yep. What a great opportunity to hang out with mum. BJ and my dog get along well with mum.

They love each other. Mum's house is near a park. Like, what a great excuse to go spend a few days out there. Yeah. And I was genuinely like, oh. All good. Yeah, and the person that owns the house, like we're renting, the person that owns the house is like, oh, we can try and do this

and put you up in a hotel. And you're like, mate, we got it sorted. All good. Don't worry about it. You just tell me when it's fixed, mate, we got it sorted. Don't even worry about it. You just tell me when it's fixed, I'll come back. Yeah. That was my attitude towards it. Because you're a very laid back person.

You're very positive. Tony had a meltdown. What can I do? Do I need to fix the place? Do you need to move in? I'll kick Torbs out of the spare room. You guys can move in. Oh my God, how are we going to survive?

Do you want my car? Do you want my car? And I was like, I don't need your car. I couldn't give you your car back. Well, you didn't need my car, mate, because now you've got a Mercedes. My mum has a Mercedes that I'm driving. Yeah, the car keys over here. Oh, I've left them on display.

Yeah, they're out. You're ready to go. Yep. Tony would not take no for an answer. I'm like, I don't actually need your car. Take my car. I was aggressively helpful. So aggressively helpful.

That's a good way of putting it, actually. And I actually got off the phone and I was the only stress I incurred was happening to calm you down from the fact my house was unusable. And then I spoke to your wife yesterday and I said, oh my God, I was so worried. I said, do you guys need my car or whatever? And I was like, and Ryan is just so chill. He was all good. And she was like, yeah, he was fine. And I was like, I was more worried than he was. And she was like, yeah, he did say that.

Sorry. So it turns out I do lie. I don't know if you don't lie. What? Something has happened that was concerning. What? The issue was it was a plumbing issue.

Oh, like your shower not working? Your dishwasher not draining? No, they're fine. Um, oh, your hot and your cold tap got mixed up. No, they're both working well. Your brand new washing machine. There's a problem with your brand new washing machine. The brand new washing machine is fine, as is the brand new dryer.

Oh, okay, mate. Must be nice. Oh, uretic. Your sprinklers aren't working. I'd love to have sprinklers. Okay. Or a need for them. It's not the bad one, is it? It is.

You've done a big poopy and it's gotten stuck. The toilet has stopped flushing. Oh, when did you realise? Well, it started. It wasn't during a number three, was it? What's a number three? There's only two options, mate. No, but when you do both, when you, like,

treat yourself, sit down for both. Are you saying two plus one equals three? I mean, it does, but I've never heard someone say number three before. I'm just saying it. I just thought it would be funny. So what happened was that each time we flushed, it was noticeably getting a bit more difficult. Did you flush something you weren't supposed to?

No. And it turns out that remember when we had that earthquake three weeks ago? Yeah. It turns out that that ruptured the pipes. Don't say ruptured. It turns out that cracked the pipes out the back and it's taken a few weeks for it to... Kind of back up.

Yeah, and the dirt's filled through. So it was from the earthquake and stuff. But I was nervous because I was like, the toilet is a disgrace. So was it filled with your poo? Oh, my God. Was it a solid poo or was it a soft one? Well, after many attempts to, like, it was. It had broken down a bit.

Yeah, but broken down and spread around, I would say. However, here's the thing. That is fucking disgusting. The plumber rocks up and I was like, I didn't want to look him in the eye because I'm like, he's about to see what's happened. He's about to see the crime that's been committed in there. And at this stage, I didn't know that I and my butt weren't the sole cause of the problem.

Like I was actually relieved to blame the earthquake and not just me being a boy. You must have been so embarrassed. So my plan was is that when he was like, yep, I'm coming around at 7am, I was like, okay, I'll like leave for work at like 5 to 7. Smart, smart, smart. Leave the key out. Yeah, because you're like, I don't want him to see my face.

I don't want to, I'm just so embarrassed, I don't want to look at him. Yeah. He gets there early. Oh, you're joking. Did you pretend to be dead? I tried that. You're like, oh, turn the lights off. Oh, I'm dead.

He walks in. He probably thought something had bloody died. Did it stink as well? It did the whole house. Oh, yuck. Yeah. And again, I'm trying to be nonchalant. I don't want to look him in the eye.

There might be something wrong, even though there's, you know, bloody. But I also wanted to be, be like anonymous because I was like, if I see this guy down the street, I don't want him to be like, oh, g'day, champion, I'm the guy that fucking, like, nah. Yeah. So he walks in and I've been doing some work on Facebook. And my, how big is the computer screen at my house? It is huge.

I do all the editing. You took the piss out of me for having a smart TV. It's basically a TV that sits on your desk. I edit videos. I study at home. It's a nice. I do all the editing. You took the piss out of me for having a smart TV. It's basically a TV that sits on your desk. I edit videos. I study at home. It's a nice curved one as well. And I was like, I spend a lot of time on it. It's a really big screen.

Trying to get a bit outsider. So he walks in and I'm on my own Facebook page. So when he walks into the room, all he can see is this huge screen that says, Ryan John. And there's, if you've been to my Facebook page, a huge picture of me with my arms out, like embracing the world, just being like, here I am, what a hero. And he walks in and the first thing he does is look at the screen

and sees me like basically posing and being like, hey, everyone, this is who I am. This is who I am. This is whose arsehole debris you're about to deal with. And he just goes, oh, that's a pretty nice computer. I see you're looking at some photos there of myself. And then goes, oh, Ryan John, how can I help you today? Oh, no, that is so embarrassing.

Did he make it funny? Like, did he break the tension or did he leave it awkward? No, he didn't. It wasn't awkward but he was like, oh, like he saw someone basically looking at photos of themselves and was like, oh, g'day hero. Sorry to interrupt your fancy life about yourself. Sorry to interrupt you looking at photos of your own person. Oh my God. It's like when you see someone and their phone wallpaper is them or you walk into someone's house. Oh my God. It's like when you see someone and their phone wallpaper is them. Yeah. Or you walk into someone's house. Oh, my God.

Do you know what that's the equivalent of? Walking into someone's house and they've got glamour photoshoot. Shots of themselves. That's pretty much what he says. Oh, nice glamorous shot. So where's the shitter? Oh, my God. That is so embarrassing.

Your wife. She must have had such a good time with that because she loves making fun of you because you're just like a little celebrity. I'm surprised the guy wasn't like, can I have an autograph, mate? Don't be a lodge. Can I have an autograph? I love listening to you on Kiss 101.

Anything you say to me now isn't something Bridget didn't already say to me. She's been having the time of her life. He probably took a little bit of your poo. Be like, this is Ryan John's poo. She didn't say that, actually. Because it's super weird. But it's in a jar and it's off the sale on eBay.

So tomorrow on the show, inspired by this, things you can say to a tradesman. And also in the bedroom. I'll go first now. Hi, I'm Ryan. Do you want to buy some of my poo? If you're already in the bedroom, they're probably interested. I'm sorry, mate, the bathroom's out here.

I know. Hi, this is Kristen from Orange County, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. For a limited time, switch to Shopify point of sale, and you could save up to 20% and improve your bottom line. We're so serious about savings, we've made this ad 20% shorter. That means you get six seconds back.

Just enough time to visit Shopify.com slash POS20. Now that's an efficient ad. Eligibility requirements apply. See Shopify.com slash POS20 for details. All right, so like we were saying, tomorrow on the show, things you can say to a tradesperson and things you can say in the bedroom, plus our review of The Devil's... The Devil's? All of them devil's, the devil's? All of them.

It's the sequel. It's the sequel. All of the devils wear all of the Pradas. The devil wears Prada. That's on tomorrow's episode. And we'd like to give a big thank you to some of our champion tarpers this week. AJ Facilio. Thank you.

Thank you. Faciolo, maybe. I'm doing a worse job than you did last week, which is basically not possible. I delegated this job to Tony because I can't talk and say names. Yeah, and look at what's happening. Aysen Welch, thank you so much. Alexandra Liddy, Ali Duckett, Amy Lee, Annika, thank you so much.

Ashley Faircloth, Ashley Lee, Benji Brown, Brie Koslerich, Ashley Faircloth, Ashley Lee, Benji Brown, Brie Koslerich, Cade McLogan, Chris Tapuola, Christine Lushau, Claire Vale, Danica Miu. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. Now, normally at a time like this we would say come and join our Patreon like these kind of people have because during the month of October for every one person who signs up we're going to have one nugget.

We are now no longer promoting that because how many nugs are we up to, Toni? Okay, let me go. Hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on, hang on. I've got it here. 428. Fuck, that's a lot of nuggets. Fuck that off. That's 200 and something nuggets.

214. Oh, my God, how smart am I? You are smart. Thank you. And we've still got, what, two weeks left of this month? Could it get to 500 nugs? I hope it doesn't. Same. I'm going to say this, we said go and join up. Don't. Don't. And if anything, take your membership away. Thank you. Unregister. Something that keeps getting shared into the group that makes me very, very anxious.

You know that meme that's like man dies after eating 413 nuggets and then it's a comment and it's like, oh, I guess 412 is the limit. If I see that meme one more time. And we've passed that as well. I'm so stressed. I'm actually, what are we going to do? If you think you're stressed, I've just got my plumbing fixed before the Nuggets.

Oh, mate, that's going to be an absolute mess. Well, the guy's like, if you're going to do the Nugget thing, should I just wait before I fix it? Yeah, he's obviously a really big fan of the show. He's been in your house. Did you have the podcast playing while he was there? Listening to myself, watching myself. It's so embarrassing.

I haven't gone back since. That's why I'm at mum's. I'm like, I'm not going back. I can't face my mum. Because the guy lives in your house now. Hey, lots of feedback from around the world, people who listen to the Tony and Ryan show. Last week, for some reason, the topic of conversation came up

between the difference between swingers and orgies. It did, yes. Because I assumed that at an orgy you would still have a few drinks first, have some snacks, say g'day, and you're like, no, that's a swingers party. Orgy is just on. Yeah, I think so. But what did people say? So we asked people to just comment or message us and say, I have.

I was like, don't out yourself. Just be subtle. Just say I have if you have. And it turns out I don't know if people who are a part of the TARPers, the Tony and Ryan podcast group, is a great representation of the entire world. All I'm saying is it seems like a whole lot of people in our group have been a part of orgies.

Shout out to your brats. Are we allowed to read their full names out? Were they okay with that? Did you ask them for permission? and ******. Oh. ******. Are we allowed to read their full names out? Were they okay with that? Did you ask them for permission? We said to them, be low key, just say I have messaged us. You've just read out all their names. Like, I'm sure they don't give a crap.

Pardon the pun, sorry. Yeah, I've given enough. Beep out all their names. Okay. Oh, no, no, keep these ones in. Because I wanted to know, in an orgy, do you have drinks first? Yeah, what do they say? Peter says.

I mean, Schmeter says. Okay, his name starts with a P and rhymes with Dieter Rodriguez. Pedrugas? It's Peter. Okay. We all got drunk and it just happened. We were all friends in high school and what else are you supposed to do? Well, I can think of a few things.

Watch a movie, you know. Listen to this podcast. Watch a pizza. Watch a pizza. Eat a pizza. I'm just sitting around a good pizza. Carmody. I mean, shmarmody.

As a gay man, I can confirm orgy etiquette is a thing. Oh. So you do sit down, you have a few wines. Jenna said, yep, we all had drinks, had some small talk. It kind of just breaks the ice because you get familiar with each other and you trust each other because you know each other and you have a few drinks to like maybe a few drinks would take the nerves away maybe. And like spark the interest.

Yeah. George Wendell, I mean Smorge. Smorge. Hi, Smorge. Said, I and three other gentlemen were having a time. Great. And I can't remember anything from the night because I was so overwhelmed with the stimulation and the moment.

Stimulation, my God. He said, I remember that I enjoyed it, but that's sort of it. Zach said it depends on how the host organises it. Oh. So sometimes there'll be a party planned with an intention of later on. There'll be sex time. But sometimes people might not be feeling it and just excuse themselves and head off and wish everyone well and then you sort of, you know,

a party of 20 might reduce down to whatever by the end of the night. See, I like that because if you're not really interested in anybody, there is an out, you could head off. Except you wouldn't serve food, would you? Well, he said that sometimes there is food and drinks because sometimes you need a break in between and it's sort of a bit of an icebreaker to have a drink and a snack and keep yourself, you know, sober and drunk and energized and fed and just something to, you know, do in

between. Sometimes, and these are called a short form party, there's no socializing. You arrive undressed, get it done and then leave as soon as it finishes. Oh, I don't like that. That sounds like a booty call, but like a multiple booty call because there's lots of people. Yeah. Now, last week you said in general, this was just terrifying. Oh yeah. I could not do that. No. No way. Someone said they'd been in an orgy and a threesome and they found the orgy better because there were so many more people,

it was more of a buffer because like you, Tony, they're like in a threesome there's too much attention on me, I'm concerned, I'm thinking about the other two, they're thinking about me, no, no, no. But this other time and she's like I didn't enjoy the threesome. But in the orgy because there's people around, you can kind of come and go and go and get yourself a drink or leave or in and out of the room and stuff and it takes the pressure off

because it's like you're less, know, less, like if you're in a threesome and one person takes off. You're going to notice. I can't imagine. I didn't know that that was a thing that if you're in an orgy that it would be normal for people to like get up and walk out and then come back and stuff. I just can't imagine being like, oh, hang on. I'm just going to go and have some of that cheese because it was absolutely to die for.

Well, someone said it was one of the best weekends I had, as in multiple days, and I was like, no. No fucking way. Too much hard work. Absolutely not. All right, let's move on. Some people are shocked, horrified, and are questioning their life choices and podcast choices

after Tony Felicia Lodge last week said that the Guardians of the Galaxy is shit. It is. Lucas says, I actually questioned myself and stared at my phone. One minute I'm having a great time. The next minute Ryan claims Chris Pratt is Captain America. Tony says the Guardians of the Galaxy is crap and he just can't believe it. He said you should watch the Guardians of the Galaxy and I can confirm that it qualifies for your podcast

because there is in fact a dance-off in it. I just don't like, I have watched it. I've seen the movie. Yeah, I've seen it. I had Gastro once and Torbz put it on. He was like, you're going to love it. It's going to make you feel really nice. You'll just be able to relax.

It put me straight to sleep because it was so fucking boring. Wasn't it Gastro that tired you out? The movie didn't help. Sita Eram says, I passed away at the thought of Chris Pratt being Captain America. Okay, and this is where it gets interesting. Jasmia, I yelled out loud when I heard this. She was listening, had her earpods in, like her headphones in.

Her earpods. Just combining words is what I do now. And screamed. Bluetooth must be nice. Screamed audibly out loud. Jasmine, it's not that crazy. I requested to join this group just so I could berate Ryan for his pronunciations of pina colada.

And this was even worse. I just about threw my phone away. This is not worse than when you said pina colada. This is, that's not worse. That's not how I said it. Or, um, yeah, it was. Have you not listened back to the podcast? No.

Why would I, I was here when it was recorded. Because then you went pina colada. Is what you said. I highly doubt that. Oh, we're fighting. Matt Coates. Hi, Matt. I was so upset about the Guardians of the Galaxy comment from Tony.

I feel like I'm so angry. I just feel like inviting her to an orgy just to make her stressed. How much I despise her for saying it. That is the weirdest compliment I've ever received. Oh, my God. At an orgy, do you think you'd get to decide whether there was more boys or girls? Well, someone.

I mean, it depends who does the inviting and who rocks up. Because you might be more one way inclined than the other. I probably don't need to worry about it. I just imagine it. No one's going to invite me to an orgy. It actually doesn't matter. Alright, so there's four straight boys and four straight girls and they're like, let's have some drinks, let's have a party, you know, it's going to be an orgy. The guys are like, oh my god, how good is this going to be? It's happening. It's happening. Like, you know, the bros, they're probably high five and having a grass time. Or, you know, the bros, they're probably high five and having a grass time.

Yeah. Or, you know, waxing their butts, getting ready. They're all having a few drinks, waiting for the girls to arrive. The girls don't turn up. Do the guys go, wow, we're here? Surely. I love to see that. Well, we came here for a reason, folks.

Exactly. You have some teas, ain't going to hold me back. Exactly. I reckon you just would. You'd go for it. Probably not those guys. You never know. Who's to say?

Who's to say? Thank you to all the people who graciously... Graciously. Why can't I talk today? I actually don't know what's going on. You know something I love to see? What? I saw this meme someone posted in the group.

Aw. It said, when you show up to work, high AF. Have a look at this photo of this newsreader. Like, it's the classic American, you know, the lady and the man. They read the 6 o'clock news. Have a look at the bloke in this, like, formal photo of the two at work. They're holding their coffee mugs. It's like, oh, good morning, New Jersey.

And his coffee cup is upside down. And he's got this dumb grin on his face. I don't think he realises. And it's pretty clear that he was smoking all last night. I do love to see that. Good on you, bro. Well, I got a message from Drew on Instagram. He said, hi, Tony.

Don't know if you'll see this, which is quite cute. No one messages me, so don't worry about it. She'll see it. I'd just like to say that me and half of my year nine year group are talking about the podcast and it's now the cool thing to like. Where are they? In Singapore. Really?

I love to say that because we're finally cool at high school. I was always cool at high school. Were you not? Were you not cool at high school? Do you think that I look like someone that was fucking cool in high school? Absolutely fucking not. There's your answer. We have a question for the group in the episode thread.

Every episode has an episode thread. Yep. Do you reckon Tony would have been cool in high school? Would you have been friends with Tony in high school? That's a different... They're two different questions. Which one would you prefer? I don't really mind.

I just don't want to get fucking roasted. And you know what else I don't want to hear? People that I actually went to high school with being like, she was a fucking loser! If you went to high school with Tony, tell me how much of a fucking loser she was. I'd love to hear that. I'd love to see that in the group.

Great. Can't wait. Have a great day to everyone who's not my plumber. Bye. Love you. Bye.