Toni and Ryan - Baaaad To The Bone 🦴

Episode Date: February 8, 2024

Have you ever gotten some reeeeeal mild revenge? Love ya xo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. I'm the vice captain of the ship. This is Dr. Orr for Tony Lodge. And we're calling Brisbane. And it's always a vibe when we head up to Queensland. Brisbane, gosh! I love Brisbane, but it's too hot for me.

Too hot for Tony. Too humid, I guess. It's a wet heat. It makes me, it's thick. And I think because I only just learned I have asthma, every time I've ever been in the humidity, it like tightens my chest up. Is it asthma or is it growing up in the dry heat of Perth?

You've become accustomed to the dry heat. Well, I always thought that maybe the tightness in my chest was that I couldn't breathe. And I've just found out that I in fact can't. Like that asthma. Yeah. That checks out. Like if you have trouble breathing, you're like, oh, only for the last 29, 30 years. Yeah.

Only my whole life. So yeah, wonder. Also, Brisbane's like the south of Queensland, 30 years. Yeah, only my whole life. So, yeah, I wonder. Also, Brisbane's like the south of Queensland. If you end up to like Townsville. I think I'd just burst into flame. When I was in Hawaii, though, it was like. You'd pop. You'd boil like a kettle.

Like a water balloon, like all the stuff comes out. So we've got Lauren. Well, let's find out how she's surviving. She's thriving. I'm not just. Lauren! Hello! Yeah, g'day, loves. She's thriving. I'm not just. Lauren. Hello. Yay.

Yeah, g'day, Loz. How's Brisbane today? I am not in Brisbane today. Oh, where are you? Where are you? Whereabouts? To spoil the party, I'm in Ormo, Gold Coast. Oh, it's still Queensland. Still Queensland. Yeah, we did just chat a lot about Brisbane, thoughmo, Gold Coast. It's still Queensland.

Yeah, we did just chat a lot about Brisbane though. That's okay. That's okay. It's fine. It's fine. Whatever. Sorry. I can tell you all about it though.

What are you doing on the Gold Coast? Because for me, the Gold Coast I associate with theme parks, strippers. Australia's Disneyland. And cheap cocktails that are watered down. What takes you to the Goldie? I work on the Gold Coast. She's a stripper. She's a stripper.

I'm a cleaner. Yeah. Yeah. Cleaner, because you're cleaning up in those clubs. Cleaner, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, mate. Nice to be an accountant.

Wink, wink. Yeah, we've all seen it. Yeah, we've all been a cleaner. Yeah, we know, Loz. We know it. We know it. Do you know cleaners get paid in cash on $20 bills? And they make $500,000 a year.

Yeah, and don't pay tax. So, Lauren, well played to you. Yeah, I'm that rich. Do you approve today's podcast? Yes, I do. Woo-hoo! Most definitely. Hey, it's Loz from Brizzy, and I approve this podcast.

All right, happy new year. Happy new year. Enjoy it. Would you even call it like Super Bowl weekend? Because the festivities kind of, there's like concerts and stuff. I know, maybe not for us, but. I feel like you would because like, isn't that just an opportunity to like eat hot wings for longer?

Yeah. Fuck yeah. You know, like it's like that weekend. Yeah. I feel like when the footy grand final, like the AFL grand final is on here, it's like a big. It's a whole weekend. Because they're like festivals on the day before and stuff.

Yeah. Happy New Year. Welcome to Super Bowl weekend. Coming up today, my friend Phil was in the middle of what he described as, I don't know if it was a fight or it was the start of a stripper show. Because you know how like the cliche is like they rock up dressed in a police uniform. Oh, yep. And say like, hey ladies, we've had a noise complainer yeah and then it's magic mike yeah and

so he doesn't know if he was in the middle of a choreograph thing or if he was legitimate punch on and he's still not sure oh we'll get to that soon uh but first have you ever done anything to get revenge? Are you a revengeful type, Toni? Probably not. Nah. I'm one of those people that practices comebacks in the shower. Right, the next day. Like the next day I'm like, oh, I should have said blah.

Or when I'm telling a story, I'll be like, and then I said, you actually can't do that. And they'll go, did you say that? I'll go, nah. I wanted to though. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Tarpa say that? I'll go, nah. I wanted to though. Yeah. Yeah. Well, Tarpa James McDonald, who we know, he was working at a place and he was told right at the end of the contract,

because usually it's like, yep, another year, another year. And right at the end of the contract, oh, sorry, mate, we're not doing that project anymore next year, but thanks so much. And it was just like an all of a sudden sort of thing and he was a bit annoyed that. So on his final day, this is how he got revenge. Oh. Is this going to, are we implicated, if we hear this,

are we implicated in the crime? Like what's the, a party to a crime? Well, he's described it as a mild revenge. Okay. But, Tony, maybe you can decide if he's genuinely bad to the bone or if it's fine. After finding out he didn't have a new contract at work, James McDonald left two coffee cups on the sink instead

of putting them in the dishwasher. What are you going to do about it? Fire me? I'm already fucking late. Yeah, fuck you. Oh, that's bad to the bone. It's bad to the bone. Yeah, 100%.

That's badass. That's badass. Is it badass or badass? See, I don't even know. Because in Australia we say arse, not ass. You spell it arse, A-R-S-E. Yeah. Badass.

If I said, like, badass, I actually tried to type it in a text to Ryan yesterday and it auto-corrected to badass. That's how uncool I am. The text was like, that can't be what she means. Also, when you say badass. Badass. You sound like when that girl from Little Mix tried to speak with a Caribbean accent.

Oh, badass. Yeah. I love that line so much. It's just that face. Body accent. Sarah Green, who is also a tarpa, was inspired by James sharing his mild revenge story. There's this crappy, random, odd, one out.

Crappy, random and odd? Odd, like a fork in the drawer. Yeah, you get a set of forks and there's just this fucking other one. Yes. And it's a bit smaller and a bit shitter and no one fucking likes it. Isn't that especially prevalent in a workplace? Yeah. I mean, there's never any forks in a workplace.

No. But, you know, when you go into a workplace and it's like, you know, that someone's going, oh, I bought new cutlery at home, so I bought the spare forks in. Someone else has done the same and none of them match and you know that one of them's okay, the rest of them suck. Yeah, or I think even like you bring a fork in to eat your lunch and then you forget about it.

And the one gets left behind. And then over the years it's just like a mishmash of everyone's. Yeah, so it's 20 single forks, yeah. Not a single fork was given. 20 single forks, yeah. Not a single fork was given. Well, this is the case at Sarah's house. There's just that one odd one.

Random one. And she said, when my husband fucks me off, guess what's placed in front of him at dinner time? And I bet it feels fucking good as well. I'll just set the table for you. I'll tell you what that is. Bang to the bone. That is, I love that because it's basically victimless,

but it makes you just feel so good. I asked if you were a revengeful type before, but now that you're hearing a few of these, are you kind of going, oh, I could maybe. This is kind of my area. Yeah, the small wins. Frederick had a horrible boss. Oh, we've all been there. I created a macro in his Microsoft Office that every time he typed his own name,

the word idiot would automatically appear right afterwards. He was like the middle manager that had to write a lot of reports and sign off on a lot of things, so I'm guessing he loved it. That's very good. Someone really pisses you off. Or like if you know someone's really pedantic about spelling and you like autocorrect it to spell things wrong. Maybe someone's done that to me.

They haven't because they can't do it to your voice as well. So when I worked at the front desk at a hotel. Oh, sorry, we didn't decide whether Frederick was bad to the bone. Bad ass. That's bad to the bone. When I worked at a hotel at the front desk, we had this guy come from an insurance company to be the assistant manager. And insurance people don't get hospitality.

It's very like. See what I said in that typos again. Hospitality. So checkout time was like 11 o'clock, right? And if someone comes down and goes, oh, can we get a late checkout? You're like, yeah, it's a $20 fee and a couple of hours, whatever. But if someone came down at 11.04, he's like, well, it's past the checkout time.

It's like he thought that fee was like a mini fine. And I was like, bro, we're in customer service. And he's like, well, that's the rule. And I'm like, yeah, because you're from insurance service. And he's like, well, that's the rule. And I'm like, yeah, cause you're from insurance and insurance is about like fucking people over for cash. But it's not, it's also just like down to the wire. Like it has to be right. Yeah. It's fine. And it was just a bit of a dick. So I changed his default email signature from assistant manager to assistant to the manager. Oh, like from the office. Yeah. Yeah. Assistant to the regional manager. Yeah. Oh the office. Yeah. Oh, is that in a?

Yeah, assistant to the regional manager, yeah. Oh, damn it. I thought I was original. No. No. Maybe I should watch the office. But just knowing this guy because he was a bit power trippy. Yeah.

So people literally thought that he was like an EA to the manager kind of. Well, anytime someone came down, he'd be like, well, I'm actually the assistant manager. And like, come on, get over yourself, mate. You're working at the front desk at a hotel. No one gives a fuck. Oh, it's not even, it's just more like, who are you trying to, like these people are like. He's a real cockhead.

Oh, he sounds like a cockhead. And he's the kind of person that wouldn't appreciate being referred to as the assistant to the manager. Oh, what a dick. That's bad to the bone from you though. Thank you. Thank you very much. That's bad to the bone. Like a little dog. Daisy.

Your friend Daisy. Daisy Pierce. Nope. This is just a tarpa Daisy. I wonder if Daisy Pierce is a tarpa. She wouldn't be. Daisy Pierce also would never do anything like this. She's not bad to the bone. She's not the coach of the West Coast Eagles. Yeah, I know.

She just did a big cycle. Fuck, she's just good at everything. She's not bad to the bone. She's not the coach of the West Coast Eagles. Yeah, I know. She just did a big cycle. Fuck, she's just good at everything. Yeah. She's so annoying. She got the highest score of our, because she was in my year at school. Yeah. She was the highest. What do you call it?

The ducks or something? Oh, yeah. I think she got, yeah. Oh, good for you, Dax. But I've been at our school, that's like. But also it was like 5,000 years ago and it doesn't mean anything. Like if you just finished school and that, you know, like you're fine. Yeah, you're right.

Yeah. Daisy says, a nasty customer at work always sent rude and condescending emails. Oh. Guessing she works in like e-commerce, you know, customer service and, oh, this didn't arrive and blah, blah, blah. I just think if you don't like it, don't buy stuff from us. Like it's the same with like, oh, I hate this thing.

I'm like, don't do it. I'm getting that vibe from Daisy, but I guess when it's not your business, you can't really go, we'll just go somewhere else. Yeah. Because, you know, you're kind of like trying to tow the company line a little bit. But Daisy said, because I had to email back and forth, I had her email address.

So I've subscribed her to a lot of random email newsletters. Good luck with that inbox now, bitch. That is pure evil. I love that. That is bad to the bone. That is bad to the bone. That's badass. That is.

And I did that with someone's phone number once. What do you mean? Okay, so it was this boy that I went to school with who I've actually talked about before. Revengeful Lodge, here she is. Yeah, and I've forgotten that I did this, but I had his phone number and I used to sign him up to like everything because he bullied me at school. And so I was just like, this is going to be really annoying.

He's going to get like one text a week. Selling him ringtones. Back then you used to have to pay to get like, it was like 55 cents to get like marketing messages and stuff. To receive a message. Yeah. So I'd sign him up. It would cost him a fortune.

Good. Good. Tony. Yep. Wow. And I've talked about him before and I got this message from someone on Instagram. What was his name again? Lee.

I got this message from someone on Instagram and they go, that's not Lee Blah, is it? And I went, it is. And she went, he is a fuckhead. And I went, he is? Yeah. Yeah. Correct is a fuckhead. And I went, he is? Yeah. Correct. Yeah, you're correct.

You're absolutely correct. Yeah. Was that Lee Harding from Australian Idol? What's up, it? No, he would never do something like that. He would never bully me. I'm just like, back in the day, like, love a bad boy me, as you can tell. I can tell.

Yeah. Anastasia. Final one here. The Anastasia. Final one here. The Anastasia. Left outside alone. I'm your friend. What was that? That's a song.

How come you get to sing like a fuckhead and everyone's like, oh, that's nice, and then I do the exact same thing and I get laughed at? I'm just cooler. I'm bad to the bone. Anastasia says, I have a six-month-old baby and I finally got her to sleep. Oh, congratulations. Until my dog named Potato came prancing in on the floorboards

doing what sounded like a tap dance routine. And wouldn't you know it, the baby fucking wakes up. Oh, the tap dancing. Yeah. Yeah. I was so fucked off with potato that at dinner time I got a scoop of his dry feed and put it in his bowl. Then I looked him in the eye and got a solitary piece of kibble

out of the bowl and just put it back in the bag and was like, what are you going to do about it? Bite the hand that feeds you, mate. Yeah. Back to the bowl. Going to grab your own out of the bag with those non it back in the bag and was like, what are you going to do about it? Bite the hand that feeds you, mate. Yeah. Back to the bowl. Going to grab your own out of the bag with those non-opposable thumbs. Yeah. Oh, why don't you tap Danji over to the shops?

Get yourself some more kibble. Just eyeball him just to let him know who's. Yeah. But if that was me, then like five minutes later I'd go, just a bit more. I'd put another handful in there. Because people would be like, Tony, and you'd be like, yeah, I'm sorry. I'd be like, it's mum.

Okay, it's not Tony. It's Loz from Brizzy, and I approve this podcast. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast. And everybody that's watching the video show at the moment, your name will be scrolling along the bottom for every level of Patreon, which is pretty cool. Including nine-year-old tapas.

If you don't know. Exclusive tapas and champion tapas. Rhys Marion Williams. Good on you, Rhys Marion. Thanks, Rhys. Jason Newman. Mikala Delia. Mikala.

Every time I say the name Mikala, I think of Mikala Barnas, you know, the Australian actor who was in Always Greener. Yeah, she's hot as. Emma Derwent, like the pencils. Yep. And Andrew Dennis. Andrew Dennis, the Andrew Menace. My mum's dog's name is Kenny. Kenny.

And he is a menace, so we call him Kenneth the Menace. That's funny. Thank you. Kenneth the Menace. I think we'd all agree, in general. Is it fair to say? Is it fair to say, top line, you don't tell off someone else's kid? Right?

Yeah, I think that's fair enough. Let the parents do the parenting on their children and kind of seems normal. What do you think is the, if they're, like, this is a genuine question. If they're at your house, so say that, like, someone came over to your house and they had kids and they were doing something that you were like, that's either not safe or, like, please don't do that. What's the vibe then?

Do you just wait for the parent to realise or do you go, oh, maybe don't do that, sweetie? Yeah, I think a bit of that. You do the soft. But you do it in earshot of the parent. So we had someone, a kid that was like climbing up the pantry. And for his own safety, I was like, oh. Not the butler's pantry where the butler lives.

Yeah. He must have murdered the butler. I was going to say, yeah, where was the butler? Wasn't the butler telling the kid where to go? This is my room. Yeah. Get out of here. This is where I sleep.

My family lives here. So he's trying to climb up the thing. Yeah, right. And I was like, oh, look out, mate. Like I would want to fall. And then the parent goes, oh, shit, you know, and then runs over. I like the look out. Oh, look out, mate.

You're all good. Because, like, you're on his side. Yeah. Was what I really wanted to say is. Get out of my butler's pantry. Yeah. He lives there. Respect Jeeves.

Yeah. My butler lives there. But I reckon that's a tough one though because you go, I don't want to overstep here, but like please don't do that, sweetheart. Yeah. You know? I also, because we're in that phase of life where all our friends are having kids and whatever, where the house is pretty like.

Well, you have kids, so your house is like child-friendly. Child-friendly and stuff. Mine's not really yeah oh but i could i can't think like you know rich people have like the glass coffee table and that's all but everything's really shiny and sharp edges and perfect and an expensive vase on the phone i'm just like oh what a pain in the ass that is oh and that's just also not for me but i guess what i'm getting at is there's nothing too bad that a kid could do because it's all pretty like set up to get fucked up anyway.

As long as they don't get it. Yeah. Yeah. So my mate Phil is going for a swim at the Collingwood Pool. Ooh. Because that's his like form of exercise. He goes and cuts laps and it's all good. Wet for life.

Wet for life. And it's an outdoor pool. There's trees and stuff. It's actually like a really nice thing to go and do. I love doing a swim. Yeah. And remember how we've talked about this, but the hair. Yeah.

Like it's like. The fracture. It's a high maintenance activity. Yeah. Well, for people with long hair, especially when you're blonde, doesn't the chlorine fuck it and stuff? Yeah, fucks the whole thing. Yeah.

So Phil goes nine out of ten times all good down there. But as you can imagine, a public pool on a hot day in summer during school holidays, suddenly it's not just like a couple of blokes swimming laps. It's like all these kids like, oh, let's go down to the pool and they're splashing about and having fun. So there's two lanes down one side that's for the lap swimmers. And on this particular hot day, there's like the rest of the pool is just, you know, splashing about and free lane and just having a good time.

Diving toys, et cetera. Pool noodles. Yeah, all that shit. All that sort. So a bunch of youths. How youth are we talking? Because when I think youths, I think like 15, 16. No, I'd say 8 to 10.

Okay, like little kids. Yeah, who are there with parents somewhere that age. Somewhere. Somewhere. Somewhere. So a couple of these dudes decide, do you reckon it's a fun game to see if we can run and jump over the two lap swimming lanes and land in the free area?

You're not allowed to run in the pool. Full stop. Yeah. No running. It's what the signs say. Yeah, it's slippery. You could fall. Like it's actually so dangerous.

So Phil's like mid-lap and they kind of like. Clipped him on the way through. Like the elbow came over and just like brushed him. And because he's like, he was like mid-lap. So you can't just like stop and like. But he goes, I was a bit startled. Well, because you're like, what? Like is that a meteor?

Yeah. That's probably what I would have thought. Something's falling from the sky. So they clipped his elbow and he's kind of. He goes, it's a meteor. He gets hit by a meteor. He's like, where's Ben Affleck and the Armageddon team? That's funny.

Yeah. Do you know where my mind went? Have you watched that David Spade movie, Joe Dirt? Yeah. Yeah, that's what I thought. Imagining Phil with his big meteor. And he gets, and he like just sort of keeps going. Because they're scary, aren't they, the kids?

But also he's like mid-lap and he didn't really know what had happened. He goes, oh, what was that? So he gets to the end, takes his goggles off and looks back and then he kind of goes, oh, those kids doing jump. Well, geez, that's a bit annoying. And he goes, oh, okay, anyway. So he swims another lap and then when he gets to the other end, it turns out the guy behind Phil hadn't just

been clipped by these kids. One of them fully landed on him. And this other guy wasn't having a bar of it. Thank God. You always hope that someone else is going to get more after than you. So Phil's like, I don't want to be telling off someone else's kids. However, these kids did need to be told off by someone. And the guy behind, and I think, because when you're swimming, you know, you're face down, you've got goggles, you can't really see.

You're in the zone. So some guy's just landed on him and he's just like, whoa. You could have really gotten hurt. Yeah, and really just like shoved the kid. He's like, what are you doing? You know, like kind of let him know that's not okay. Not probably realising that it was a young kid. So anyway, the kid's dad has seen this random guy yelling at his child and he's not

going to have a bar of that, right? No. And that's, and without knowing the context, you go, hang on, some grown man is yelling at my kid. Yeah. Yeah. So then the guy finishes his lap and then the dad walks around and they both stand up and they're like nose to nose, like telling each other what they think of each other. Like it's getting real, real like for long.

Was the dad like argumentative about it? To quote Phil, and I wrote this down, the dad was like, they're just kids having fun. They're just having fun. That's what kids do, right? And then the other guy goes, yeah, but also something that kids should do is learn lessons about life. And they were having fun, yes, but he has to learn there's consequences

for his actions. And your fun can't be at the expense of someone else's fun. Yeah. And then he hit him in the cock. Pulled his speedos down. Well, here's where it got interesting. Well, no, that didn't happen. He sucked him off.

They both got so talked up. So Phil's looking at their noses are almost touching. Their chests are on because they're really close. Oh, my God. So it's like a porno. But then Phil, like, his eyes scroll down and one of them's wearing pink speedos and the other's wearing, like, a light blue rubber ducky fabric toy speedo thing. And it's just like, I know you guys are angry at each other right now,

but I actually can't take this seriously. Because is this a porno? Yes. Is this a set up? It's like, what's about to happen? Oh, my God. In the meantime, the kid, you know, oh, dad's talking to the guy. Oh, good, whatever.

The kid's playing with his friends somewhere else. They're still doing the jump or whatever. And there's just these two guys in speedo. And, you know, how would you describe Collingwood as an area? Very cool. Yeah. Like very ally friendly. Very ally friendly.

Yeah. You would even say this is the most. It's an allied suburb. Yeah. In fact. Very queer friendly. Regularly it'd be like spot the straight and you'd struggle. It's where like Melbourne pride goes through.

What's that street? Smith Street. Smith Street, Wellington. Yeah, along there. Yeah. Yeah, and it feels like I'm glad this guy's getting told off. That kid's in the wrong and needs to learn a lesson. Are these boys about to kiss?

Literally. That's probably what I would have been thinking as well. So we still don't quite know how it ended. Yeah, they're still there. The kids are still jumping over the thing and they're still, yeah, that is awkward though because when you're in public as well, you don't really know where you stand. You know when I said that I was at the cinema,

I mentioned yesterday, and we were in gold class, my sister and I, and there was like lots of kids that were there, like two friends kind of there. But, you know, like 10, 11, 12 kind of age. No parents. And I actually thought you couldn't go to gold class because you can order alcohol. Yeah, so I thought you had to be 18 plus.

Like I don't know maybe if like their mum or dad worked there and they were like, oh, we'll pop you in the 12 o'clock session. Like I don't know, maybe if like their mum or dad worked there and they were like, oh, we'll pop you in the 12 o'clock session. Like, I don't know. This reeks of rich people dumping children someplace. Well, that's kind of the vibe. And the kids were running amok, like sprinting around in the gold class area. Did you hear Libby tell them off?

No. I was just like, what is going on? Because Libby would be more likely just because she's like got mum energy and she's got young boys. She's a teacher as well. So she does the teacher voice. But no, she didn't say anything. Told her she can't arc just because she's, like, got mum energy and she's got young boys. She's a teacher as well. So she does the teacher voice. But, nah, she didn't say anything. Told her she can't arc up when she's with me.

But it's like, yeah, we don't want to cause a scene. Yeah. But also it's like, yeah, it's so murky because it's like, it's not your fucking job. It's not my kid. And, like, it's bothering me though. But, like, I can't. I don't want to then get in trouble for, like,

talking to someone else's child or whatever. But they were, like, running around running around and like ordering all this food. Like I don't know whose card they were tapping, but they were having a bloody wicked time. Maybe they were points guys as well. Maybe. And then like another older woman in the cinema like talked to a set of the girls because they were just talking the whole time.

Like even in the like quiet scenes, like, ah, yeah, and then on Snapchat X happened and I was like, are you for fun? They're not even talking about the film. And you don't like that. And that's, you know, one of my pet hates. Yeah, I hate it. Fuck.

Anyway, but yeah, and they're like on their phones and stuff and I was like, oh, I know that you think you're the main character because you're 12 and you like, you know, I remember how I. Is Tony Lodge accusing other people of being the main character? I remember how I felt when I was 12 and you go, oh, my God, I just started wearing a bra. I'm very important. You know, I get it.

Is that what happens? Yeah, it is. Okay. Yeah. You start wearing a bra. If I start wearing a bra, will I start feeling more important? Maybe. You'd feel supported, which is nice.

Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. I'll try it on Monday. Yeah. But the, yeah, the kid thing, I get it. It's so hard to know what the line is. And because how would you feel if you, like when Mabel's older,

obviously, you look over and see someone telling her off, you'd be like, hey, no, that's my, like your first instinct would be to be like, hey, fuck off before learning what happened. And then go, so what did you do? And you go, that does sound bad. Oh, yeah, you probably shouldn't have done that. You probably deserve that. I'll take you back over there.

What I'm loving online is the fuck around and find out kind of memes and stuff. Yeah, I do like that. I love it as a saying. Yeah, and this just reeks of like kids can fuck around, but they will find out. Oh, wow. Yeah. That energy.

Thank you. I liked that. Thank you. I think it's like. Maybe I'll fuck around later and see what happens. Do you defend in public your kid and then like when you get home, you go, so what fucking happened? Yeah.

That was fucking dumb. Yeah. One of the ladies I worked with in the deli, in Cole's deli back in the day, she used to say that like she would always defend her kids like in public. And then as they were walking around, they were walking away, she's like, and then I'd just give them a little pinch on the arm. And they'd know.

Like they'd know that publicly I'd been like, you can't do that. And then she'd be like, you actually can't. That's what I do to you when you try to hold my hand in public. We're walking along and Tony goes and grabs my hand. I slap it away. Yeah, it's so that I can keep up. It's because I've got little legs. I'm like, may I slow you down if I hold your hand?

What do you love to see, Tony Lodge? I saw this meme, well, this tweet actually from the Alaska Dispatch News, and they posted like a, you know those like ring doorbells and stuff, and sometimes people have them in their house to like watch their pets or something. This is breaking news apparently. Bear breaks into Colorado house. Holy shit.

So there's a bear in their home, and they've seen it on their ring doorbell. Like Goldilocks. Yes. Exactly. And we'll pop it up on the screen, but the photo is of a bear sitting at a piano and the headline, so it's in the house, and the headline is bear breaks into Colorado house, plays the piano, but not very well.

Oh, excuse me. And someone's replied and said, he's trying his fucking best, you bitch. Who are you to fucking judge? What's your piano skills like, you stupid journalist? Yeah, literally. But this is the bear at the piano. But the response is, he's trying his fucking best. Do you know how big his paws are?

His paws, yeah. Judging his tune. Yeah, fuck you. Fuck off. Yeah, Judging his tune. Yeah. Fuck you. Fuck off. Yeah. So I love just like really make my day. The response, like he's trying his best. He's trying his best.

Leave Brittany alone. Yeah. So at the moment, the algorithm is finding me lots of like kids toy stuff. Oh, yeah. Because you've been going hard on Facebook marketplace and stuff. We're going hard on Facebook marketplace looking kids toy stuff. Oh, yeah. Because you've been going hard on Facebook Marketplace and stuff. We're going hard on Facebook Marketplace looking for good stuff. And what Bridget is loving sick is you can buy like, it's like a mini cafe or a mini florist or a mini hardware store or a mini kitchen because then the kid's like, oh, do

you want to come over and we'll play like, you know. A cup of tea. Yeah. And they play like little games and stuff. And I've got this video here, which I've just sent to you, Tony Lodge, and everyone else will pop it on the screen if you're watching today. I imagine this is a young Tony Lodge, and she's running her little cafe. I think she's four or five years old. I did love playing pretend like that.

And she's running a little kitchen. She's wearing an apron and a chef's hat. Okay. And she says to her mum, oh, what would you like today? Oh, thanks for bringing that up. What would you like for today? For the whole day? Yeah.

I'd like some peace and quiet. No, we don't sell that. Her little Irish accent as well. No, we don't sell that. We don't sell that. Oh, that is Tony Lodge energy 100%. Yeah, I've ordered that a few times in the Tony and Ryan office. Yeah, it doesn't come off.

Yeah, we're completely out. Sold out. Oh, fuck, that's so funny. Not in store. That's so cute. Oh, sorry, it started playing again. Sorry. We don't serve that.

Yeah, we don't serve that. I think I might try and get that into everyday vernacular. We don't serve that. Yeah, we don't serve that. I think I might try and get that into everyday vernacular. We don't serve that. With the accent as well. But if someone, like, asks you to do something. We don't offer that. We're fresh out of giving a fuck, actually. I'm so sorry.

Ryan, could you help with the dishes? Oh, we're actually out of that. Yeah, we don't serve that. No, that's actually not in my job description. I'm so sorry. Yeah, sorry about that, mate. Unfortunately. Sorry about that.

Hey, on Monday. Super Bowl Monday. Super Bowl Monday. We're doing a live stream. Well, Super Bowl Monday in Australia. Oh, yeah so sorry. Yeah, sorry about that, mate. Unfortunately. Sorry about that. Hey, on Monday. Super Bowl Monday. Super Bowl Monday. We're doing a live stream. Well, Super Bowl Monday in Australia. Oh, yeah, sorry. Yeah, actually that. Yeah.

But we're doing a live stream on Monday morning for Champion Tarpers. So if you want to join that, you can join our Patreon. Also, a tarper has bravely shared their experience of their first time doing the hippity-dippity. Do you remember your first time? We'll get to that on Monday. Oh, okay. But I think it's fair to say that most first times,

it's never as great and grand as you'd expect. It's awkward. Yeah. But I feel like if you have an awkward first-time experience, you'll hear this story and go, well, at least it wasn't that bad. Yeah. Yeah. But I feel like if you have an awkward first-time experience, you'll hear this story and go, well, at least it wasn't that bad. Oh, okay. Yeah.

Okay. Oh, well, you can think about that all weekend. All weekend. All right. Have a good day. Love you. Bye.