Toni and Ryan - Banned from Babysitting

Episode Date: July 29, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] Do YOU give a f*ck about this? - Setting the table - Aunt Totti at your service - love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcastHALARA UNIQUE LINK Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

So I'm babysitting my two nephews and I was like... Oh, Tony Lodge. I know. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, I thought that this show was safe. Do you think the more you explain it, the dodgier it seems? I said to Libby, like, are you not going to let them come in anymore? Are you offered to babysit Mabel? Yeah. No. No. No, thank you.

Hi, my name is Niko and my mom's name is Agata. We are Terpers from the Hump Day tomorrow is the first clue for our fourth birthday party. Where in the world will it be? Last year was in London, this year it's a boat party. First clue about where in the world it will be tomorrow on the show. Very exciting stuff. But right now it is time for... Of all the things to give a fuck about, that's the thing you gave a fuck about. Your brain could've gone a different route, but that's the thing you gave a fuck about. It's time for That's the Thing You Gave a Fuck About. Absolutely beautiful stuff from you. People say this is what I give a fuck about and we go, why do you give a fuck about that?

Yeah, nothing really matters and it's not that deep. Don't give a fuck about that. Subscribed. Thank you. Sarah Gray. What up, Saz? Putting... Sorry. Saz. I hardly... Jazz. Putting so. Sorry. Saz. Hardly. Jazz.

Jazz. I thought it was like a SAA software as a service company. Oh. A SaaS company. Hey, Saz. Hey, Saz. No. Sarah as a service.

Sarah as a service. Whoa, you have to ask her first. Putting sauce on your bacon and egg sanger is a fucking crime and it really irks me when I see other people doing it. That's the thing you gave a fuck about. Not only should you not give a fuck about what other people are putting on their sandwiches. You're also wrong. You're also a fucking idiot.

How fucking good is a bacon and egg sanger? I thought you were going to say how fucking dry is a bacon and egg sanger without sauce? The only way I mean, I guess if you were buttering the bread. Liberally. Yeah, like it would need a bit, but like a fucking, I know that you're a barbecue guy, but my dream scenario, fresh white bread, not toasted. Like I like it soft. Butter, bacon, fried egg, little bit soft,

just a little bit, but not running all over me. Tomato sauce, butter, bread, come town. Yeah, fresh bread though. I think that makes it better. Like, or what I will also cop is toast, but not toasted. There's something about- Toast, but not toasted.

It's a bread. But toast. So like fresh bread. So it's still really soft. Like it's just come out of the packet. And then toasted. Or toasted. No.

Of all that, yeah. That's the thing you gave a fuck about. I'm just saying my dream scenario is that it's either fresh bread or I will go like a piece of toast and then all the stuff and then a piece of toast, but not in like a sandwich toaster. No, because you hate George Foreman. Do not say that.

I use his products weekly. Natasha Lisa. I don't think you can be bothered by other people putting sauce on their thing. That's yeah, that's okay. Natasha. I think this segment is going to turn into people just saying fucking crook shit that we hate. Great.

How, you know what? Love you jumper. Thank you. Yeah. The knife goes in your left hand and the fork goes in your right. Stop forcing me to swap hands. I ain't got time for that. That's the thing you gave a fuck about. Knife in the left. No.

Fork in the right. Only if you're only forking. Stop forcing me to swap. No one's forcing you to do shit. I wouldn't trust myself with a knife in my left hand. And that's for society's benefit. That's for everyone's benefit. Yeah. What happened, Your Honor? Well, Tony was trying to chop up a steak and she stabbed six guys in the alley. It just flung out of my hand. No! Ah!

Yeah, I don't have the control, you know? I use mine in my left hand. Do ya? Yeah. What? I, my cutlery is- Are you left-handed? I'm not, but I think I was supposed to be.

Yeah. What does that mean? Sweetheart, let's unpack that. Yeah. I'm not but I think I was supposed to be I just like I I do a lot of stuff with my left hand. Do you think you're ambidextrous? Like you can use both for both. No, oh cuz I can't So you just fully fucked So it's not interesting. It's just fucked. The four of us and Lily, you can defend yourself if you like, but we played mini golf last night. Yeah.

And Lily goes, which way do I stand? That makes us sound so fun as a team, by the way. We went and played mini golf last night. Lily, I go, are you left-handed or right-handed? And she goes, I don't know. No. Or I don't know which way to stand. I'm left-handed, but I was confused about which way to stand. I'm left handed, but I was confused about which way to stand. Because when you're left handed in a right handed world,

it's just a bit hard sometimes. Well, imagine what would be harder, being half of both. Yeah. So let's think about the real victim here. I think that's why my handwriting is fucked as well. Is it? I don't know. I think we did question whether Lily thought she was left handed

but wasn't when we saw her 10 pin bowling. We, yeah, there was a suggestion of maybe testing. We sound so fun. We got 10 pin bowling. We sound so fun as we're casually bullying. Yeah, but we have fun. That's what all bullies say. Oh, fuck.

Okay. But you did great in the end. She didn't. She didn't do great. You guys got the same score. Yeah. Oh, at mini golf. Yeah. I thought you meant at bowling.

Oh, we did not get the same score at bowling. No. Yeah. OK. OK. So sorry. what was the... Knife in the left, fork in the right. Do you know that like, I mean, I probably, I mean, we're just saying that we're bothered by it. This does lead me to something that I do kind of give a fuck about.

That doesn't really matter in the scheme of things. No, no, you say it it and I'll press the button. It does fuck me off when people set the table backwards. That's the thing you gave a fuck about. But yeah, backwards to know, but there's an order to the table. Yeah, but that I don't think left handed, right handed matters when you're eating. It's just like the way you're taught is like the forks in your left and the knives in the right and everyone can fucking grow up. But like when I sit down and someone's like like the way you're taught is like the forks in your left and the knives in the right and everyone can fucking grow Up but like when I sit down and someone's like set the table and the fork and the knife are on the wrong side

I'm like whose tables who's the graph in a fucking bar? Yeah, exactly Whenever if Torb's puts cutlery down he like it'll just be random Like it's not you're gonna marry that guy. It's not always you're gonna marry that guy's different? It's always different. Yeah, you go, oh my partner, he's so perfect. He's not. Yeah, but someone's gotta have a floor. There has to be a floor and if that's his, I mean it's pretty like beige flag. Yeah, but it's still a flag.

It's not great though. Because I go, what do you have just no decorum? You don't care about what people think about what you can do. It's not about what people think, it's about you fucking eating like a human. And then what- Grow the fuck up, Torbz.

But then when you go to eat, you've got to change it, and I'm like, well, just put it down correctly. That's... Actually something I give- No, I didn't think I would- No, me either! I would hate that, but I fucking hate- Take back the song.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM that but I fucking hate that. Take back the song. Was that the thing that you wrote that's the height of comedy? Because that was really good. Yes. We're calling that one fair though. You're allowed to give a fuck about that. Yeah. Danielle Hofstedter. Here comes the Hofstedter. stutter. Here comes the half standard. Yeah. Pizza has to be cut by scissors.

If it ain't scissor cut, it ain't going in my gut. I keep forgetting to push the button. That's the thing you gave a fuck about. Um, I don't really understand that, but when we order pizza, often the slices are actually too big. Like, you know, if you get like a, Yeah. Like if it's like a New York slice or whatever,

they're really big. So I'll normally get scissors and cut it in half, but that's not cause it has to be scissor cut. That's just because it's too big. Yeah. And also you feel like you're getting more. Yeah. I ordered six slices, but I got 12. I got 12 like, ah! Two for the price of one.

But I don't care if originally it was cut by scissors. That's just more because we don't have any, we don't have a jim jim jim. Getting a jim jim jim. Do you have one? Yeah, and it's actually awesome. It's so convenient. Cause even when you get pizza,

you know how sometimes it's not like. That's yeah. And then I just bring the scissors down. Oh, but like even if, yeah. But like just being able to like re-roll or just like. Yeah. It's actually a game changer. And we went through a phase

where we do homemade pizza like once a week. Yeah. And we haven't done that for a while. During summer. Cause I broke my pizza stone. You cracked the pizza stone, yeah. And that was years ago now. And I keep going, I'll get a new one. And I haven't, but when the pizza stone was still with us. We've got those ones on the, on the barbecue and they're great. We use those in summer a lot. I might get another one because they are great because then we can get rolling again.

Yeah. I, I, yeah, maybe I've got to buy a pizza cutter. We used to have one that was in the shape of a bike and you're like- We've got that one as well. Oh We used to have one that was in the shape of a bike. And you're like- We've got that one as well. Oh, do you? But you end up pushing down on the bike too hard and they just fucking fly and you slash your fucking finger off.

Yeah. They're actually a real weapon of like self-inflicting wounds. Cool. Oh, if you weren't impressed by that, you might not like this. Yes. Oh, just let me have a cup of tea.

Sorry guys, I'm rimming a sickness. Yeah. And that's not a clue for the birthday party by the way. Could be. How would that be? What would that? Well, if you don't get it, you don't know. Glenn.

What the hell are you planning on doing? Glenn says, Hi, Glenn. No one needs to know algebra. Instead, says Glenn, teach kids emotional intelligence so they can be happy and respectful humans. Teach them how to have difficult conversations and how to get along with people with differing opinions

and how to do it without being a dick. So what Glenn is saying is we don't need algebra. He simply thinks happy and respectable humans equals difficult conversations plus accepting others opinions minus being a dick. And who needs algebra when you've got an equation like that? that. The minus I'm like, well, sounds like someone learned the X and the Y to me. That was the greatest thing I've ever written in my life. The delivery was absolutely perfection as well. Are you just saying that because I'm vulnerable? No, no, no, no, I genuinely, genuinely believe that. I also like. Sorry, I'm just. No, it was that. I also like.

Sorry, I'm just. No, it was good. It was good. And I don't really personally care about algebra that much. I think there's probably other things that I would have liked to learn. But I read this thing the other day. I have a few friends from school and uni and stuff that are teachers now. My sister's a teacher.

You've got a lot of teachers in your family. And a common thing is like, oh, why do you learn and union stuff that are teachers now. My sister's a teacher. You've got a lot of teachers in your family. And a common thing is like, oh, why do you learn Pythagoras or algebra at school? You should learn how what a credit card is and stuff. And then I just see it come up to me regularly that like teacher friends of mine are like, teachers actually aren't the only people

that kids can learn from. Like, and- They also don't come up with the curriculum. Oh, whoa. Okay. Curriculum. They get told the curriculum and then they have to just roll it out.

Like they're not allowed to decide what they kind of, but also that they're like, yeah, so, we can't make your kids better people necessarily fully. And so there's- Well then who are the curriculum people? Well, I don't know. Where do we tell them?

And- Cause I'm, especially in math, so get to a point in math where you're like, I know enough to count and get by in life. Do I really need to know this specialist sort of shit? Like in year 11 and 12, you kind of go- Yeah, when it gets to, yeah, well fuck. But then I tell you what's insane is that,

say you're learning about how algorithms work and stuff in school and you go. What algorithms? Like an AI. Mathematics. But like algebra and Pythagoras and shit like that, is that what you mean? What's an algorithm?

Well, it's a- Like on Instagram. Oh, sure. No, but like, back in my day, you'd be learning about algorithms and someone would have said, when do we ever need this in real life? Sure.

And now you go on fucking any website and like imagine the gag that we saw 15 years, everything's the algorithm, we always work for the algorithm. And then flashback to us back in the day going, when am I ever going to make this? When am I going to need that? Yeah. Turns out a lot.

Turns out a lot. Yeah. Different kind of stuff, though, isn't it? Not really. The side we have to worry about or deal with is not right. Personally, for me, it's not like writing it or needing to understand it necessarily. But I, I'm actually like, I think that there's, did you do maths in year 12? Yeah. Didn't that suck? I did do maths in year 12. I know it doesn't seem like I did.

Is it fancy that I asked? No, no, no. Well, I actually, cause you ha, I don't know if this is the same every verb in WA, you had to do things from like both disciplines. Like you couldn't do no maths and science and only humanities. You had to do at least one thing from either column. Gotcha. So like to get your certificate of education,

you had to do one of eight. Yeah. And I obviously did not want to do science. And I was like, I get maths, like that's. I can cop that. Yeah, and I quite enjoyed it. I don't really mind. It's not my fave. In Victoria, you can drop maths in year 12

and you don't have to have any maths or science if you don't want to. I would have loved that, but then I would have only done like music and. Drama, music, you should have gone to Eltham High, dog. Yeah. You would have fucking loved it. I know.

And they would have loved you. English Lit, I did. Yeah. And I did, yeah, a few different types of music.tham High, dog. You would have fucking loved it. I know. And they would have loved you. English Lit, I did. Yeah. And I did, yeah, a few different types of music. And I did, yeah, that was awesome. That was really fun. Anyway. Alice Mergia.

Hi, Alice. People who eat on the street or public transport are fucking gross. I just want to ride the train in peace. It's not loud though, is it? I don't think so. That's the thing you gave a fuck about. I'm actually so unbothered by like food smells and stuff.

It actually, it really doesn't faze me when people eat on the train or whatever. The only time it bothers me is when I'm hungry and I'm like, fuck that smells good. That smells so good. You also have long COVID though and can't smell anything. I'm not a super good smeller anymore. Yeah. Yeah.

Not a super, super sniffer. Those days are past me. Yeah. Yeah. Hi, my name is Sagata. Hi, I'm Rachel from Midland. It's Jen from Denver, Colorado, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Sorry, my phone was leaning against my water bottle. I picked up my water bottle and obviously my phone fell down. Could happen to anyone. Yeah, I know. If only I'd done algorithms for school.

Maybe that wouldn't have happened. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Linnea Spear, good on you Linnea. Marvin McEwen, oh McWan, sorry. Jess Parker, does she. Kayla Marron, good on you. Kai, love to see it, thank you. Aaron Donovan, Kay Leela and Sam Fygus.

Might be Figus, Might be Figis. I'd prefer for chickens. I'd do it for chickens. I'd do it for geese. Wanna play around with duck duck for geese? For ducks for duck for geese. You know what we were talking about just before, Barn me. You wouldn't would ya?

I would. You wouldn't would ya for lunch today? I think I don't. Medicinally. Medicinally. I think I need a barn me in me and a coffee in me. Yeah. So true.

There's actually not much condensed milk on coffee won't fix. Oh. I'm not a- Chapter. I'm not a doctor, but I do know that. Well, I am and verified. I reckon probably you'd I know a lot of education chat today. At the end of your life becoming a doctor degree, what's that four

or five years or some bullshit? Mine was nine. Yeah, yeah. By the end, you'd get into some technical stuff but I reckon I mean it's really yeah I reckon the first few years it's just like let's get basics anatomy condensed milk yeah it's actually I can give you the official algorithm it's actually bad day plus condensed milk equals good day. And I can't believe I can still remember that. They hammer that into B plus C equals G. So true. Chapter freight train fact subscribed.

Yeah. Um, preach Bible. Gold Coast. People are keen on the Gold Coast. I love gold. Same, but the top is not buying it and we're a team here so. Okay. Okay. So yeah, barn me after this. Barn you? Barn me. Barn us. Oh. Look at this beautiful, don't, I've taken some cold and flus and I'm sipping tea and I'm emotional. Yeah you are, I'm sorry. If you've got a sad story, you could fucking probably get me today.

I don't, except apart from the fact that maybe my kids are getting taken away from me. No, so, um, I- I love my daughter so much. Oh my God. I know you do. And she's such a sweetheart. And also I reckon that like a few people have said this in the top group and I feel like it's a bit the same for me watching you with Mabes like heals something in people and there's something about watching someone like love their daughter heaps like it's so it is so sweet she's such a babe. Tony and I went out last night and we went to mini golf and I get this message while I was out because I didn't make it home for bath time. Yeah This is how giving me a smooch and wait for it

The big kiss she leans into the phone and it's just so adorable. I saw that the other day. She blew me a big kiss on the phone the other day and she, and like the hand into the face like that. You know how kids do that. So fucking cute. She's so cute. But you're getting your kids taken off you. Well, so I am... Child services has been called. Head out to the country of reservoir.

I love Mabel. I also, I love, I've got four nieces and nephews at five, sorry. And two nephews that live near us. Yep. Um, and I'm really close with my sister, um, close with like her husband and her kids. Like we spend quite a lot of time together. They're just the best. And they have started doing this thing in the fam.

And I just find this so wholesome, but they do pizza Friday. So on a Friday night, they order pizza or do homemade pizzas. And it's like a thing like, and I was there one day and I was like, what are you guys doing for dinner? And the boys like Wesley and Lawson go, it's pizza Friday. It's pizza Friday. And I was like, day and I was like, what are you guys doing for dinner? And the boys like Wesley and Lawson go, it's pizza Friday.

And I was like, oh, what's that? And they go, we do pizza every Friday. And I was like, that's awesome. What day were you around there? Wednesday morning. Well, I'll just stay here till pizza Friday. I guess I'll just settle in for three days. Yeah, you guys don't mind if I come back for you.

And I was there and they were like, you should stay and have dinner. And I was like, awesome. If I can twist my arm on a Friday. And I ring Torbz, I was like, oh, do you want to come here instead of heading home? And he goes, yep, I'll ring you when I'm leaving, whatever. How fun.

We've actually done it for a couple of weeks in a row where we've like gone for pizza Friday. It's really fun. That's strange. Have you got a call recently Charles on a Friday? I haven't actually. Neither? Yeah, Tony actually went to Livi's the other day for the choice of sandwiches.

Didn't get the call for that either. I even tried to get in the car. For you to say it's become normal for us. I'm like, well, who are you talking about? I'm really sorry for Torbz and I. We've gone around there a few times. Well, I went out with you guys a few Friday nights ago and Torbz went to Pizza Friday.

Fridays, yeah. And I was like, that's really so fucking sweet. That is sweet that he went without you and feels comfortable and welcome. That's really nice. It's so beautiful. He's not just Tony's partner, he is Torbz. Like he's part of the family.

He's part of the family. Yeah, and so we kind kind of we go around. Unlike Charles and I. Not. This Friday night. You know that if you went to my you know that you're always invited and you not you actually know that.

She would love that. I haven't been literally invited, but I do know that. But the same way that I know. Am I still allowed to since I threw that wine glass over a back fence at that? Yeah, that wasn't so bad. It was Sophie smashed the whole bottle. Yeah. Yeah.

Sophie's away this week, so she's not here to defend herself. So it's okay. Which is my favorite time to lane to people. Me too. Lane to Sophie. Yeah. Or just anyone really. Oh, sure. When they're not around. Not having a chance to defend themselves. It's great. But it's the same way that I know that if I rocked up-

Remember that time she punched a kid? That didn't happen. That didn't happen. That didn't happen. Okay, you need to come down. But the same way that if I rolled around to your place and Bridge was making dinner, she'd be like, oh, do you want to stay? Like, you know, always welcome. Anyway, but we go around there and normally like play

switch with the boys or whatever before dinner. And then while we're having dinner, we watch like an episode of Taskmaster. Sweet. And they love that show. So do you. I love it. So it's your show, you can all watch together.

And so Torbz and I are like up to date, like we've watched all of it. But, cause you don't need to like watch in order, you can kind of watch a random episode and it's fine. They haven't been playing for very long, but like I love watching it so for very long, but I fucking love it. And we're like pizza. We've played Mario.

We're watching like, it's just the best. The boys came around for a sleepover with us on the weekend and we're like, Oh, what do you guys want to do? Like the world is your oyster. And because we've kind of been hanging out with them and playing Mario, they're like, we really want to play Mario. I'm like, perfect. Fuck yeah. Awesome.

We say, should we order some dinner? Like what do you guys feel like? Or I was like, I could go to the shops and get some. They go, oh, aunt Toddy, can we get Maccas? And I was like, Oh, yeah, okay. Twist my arm. But I was like, sure. Does that kind of feel a bit boring?

And they're like, no, like, mum doesn't really let us have Maccas. And I was like, well, fucking strap yourselves in, we're getting Maccas. So every time they get to go to Aunt Toddy's, it's Maccas, it's video games, it's fucking, what a great time. Absolutely.

And that's what aunties are for. And I think it is. Throw the rule book out. We have a sneaky little trick, an extra ice cream. You know, like it's fun. Love that. And it's obviously not all the time that they sleep over. So it was just really nice. And Libby and Jason had gone out to the movies and they sent us a selfie from the cinema and I sent a photo back of like the boys eating their

maccas at the table and anyway so we're sitting there and I was like oh while we have our dinner do we want to watch a random episode of Taskmaster because that's like what we normally do they're like yeah and so like do you remember the last time that they slept over? Yeah. Oh. And we watched that Smurfs movie. Yeah. Where like the lady dies and they go, aunt Toddy, uncle Alex, what's going on with her? What happened?

And I was like, oh my God. So you're the one who had to explain the concept of death. I had to explain death to them. Fuck dude. And it was pretty, and they know that like their grandma has died. Like they know that our mom is dead.

And like they're, you know, they get it, but they hadn't seen like a soul rise out of a body before, which is probably fair enough. Anyway, so we had to like explain that to them. And I'm like, I'm not fucking doing that again. Like we, it's like- Needs something safe. And so I'm like taskmaster, they watch it every week

and they got all- What the fuck happened? So I pop on just like a random episode. In the first two minutes, there's like a fairly graphic sex joke and a full bum on the screen. Then it cuts- What episode is that? Then it does not end there.

It cuts then to a guy wearing like a hell tight body suit. You can see the full outline of his cock and balls. And then I thought Taskmaster was like pre 830 light and bright rated PG. Like, well, it's still it's's probably not PG but it's not normally like it's only like a little bit of swearing or something but it's not normally like. I thought it was fairly safe. It's not normally nudity though like in fairness. Then the first challenge is these two guys so it's like one of the comedians and the host Alex is like, they're both males.

They're each wearing a two piece bikini and they have to undress each other and try and put the bikini on each other. And they're like, Oh, I'm Toddy. Like, Oh, that like, Oh, that's a lot. And like, Oh God. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, I thought that this show was safe because they watch it all the time and I didn't, you know, didn't really think about it. And obviously, when Torb Snaght watched stuff, we don't we're not watching

through like the kid lens. So I don't really think about it. Oh, it's just a couple of guys wrestling naked is fine. And I was just kind of like, oh, that's a bit rude, isn't it? And they just went, yeah, like, oh, that's a bit rude, isn't it? And they just went, yeah, like, oh, God, you just say, um, Alex's whole bum. Immediately. I'm like, oh my God. Don't say that word, Alex. They're gonna go. Yeah. Yep. a guy yeah yep and tell my sister there were two naked people wrestling I saw Alex's bum they were going at it and

so for anybody that doesn't know my partner Torbz his name is Alex and all I'm thinking is that they're gonna say say to my sister, we saw Alex's full bum. On the screen. What did you guys do? A little home movie. We saw Alex's full bum. We saw Alex's full bum. And I'm just like.

For Christmas in July, you offered to babysit Mabel. Yeah. No. Nope. No, thank you. But it's just so innocent like this. I'll drop her off at the dog kennel before I expose her. Take that back. So what's going on at your place? Take that back. So I'm just. Eating fried food because we never do that. Looking at bums. Well all I'm picturinguring is that they go, well, we've seen Alex's bum, then I'm going to have to explain. Not Uncle Alex's bum though, obviously.

It was a different Alex. It was just two other guys taking each other's bikiniers off. Just friendly stuff for how old are they again? Like nine and 11. Oh, Tony Lodge. I know. And I was like, fuck me, Dad. Like, oh Lodge. I know. And I was like, fuck me dead. Like, oh my God.

And then so the next morning, like Libby and Jason come around to pick the boys up. And I was like, hey, we watched a two episode of Taskmaster. And they just kept saying the phrase Alex's bum is out. I just need you to know. Oh, good. I just need you to know that that wasn't like Uncle Alex's bum. That was like Alex on the show. Do you think the more you explain it, the dodgier it seems? And then Alex, like Torbz is standing there and he's like,

it wasn't my bum. It was a different Alex. It was the guy on the show's bum. I did not show your children my bum. It's very important that you know that that's not what happened. I feel like that's what someone who showed kids their bum would say. Oh, my God. And I just and Libby's like pissing herself. Like she was fine.

All right. You pretend to be Bridget. Yeah. And I'll pretend to be a babysitter. Oh, Kyura. She didn't look at my bum. Kyura. I didn't show her my bum.

Things for- No, I didn't show her my bum. Things for having- I didn't show her my bum. Mabel overnight. I didn't show her my bum. I didn't show my bum. Mabel overnight. I didn't show my bum. Okay, you're saying bum a lot. Yeah.

See what, okay. And scene. Yeah, I get it. And scene. I don't do that at the end, I just do it at the beginning. So it's the beginning again. So I'm babysitting my niece.

Do you see what I'm saying though? No, I totally get it. I 1000% get it. Imagine it in the room. But I just needed to do a little bit because I didn't want them to say that without her knowing the actual context because I thought it's gonna be a lot worse

if they get in the car and go, yeah, we watched this thing in Alex's bum. A bit harder to come back around after they've said it. Yeah, so I, but I think like, so I'm watching a mystery at the moment TV show. Oh, recommendation, Stolen Girl on Disney+. Ooh, okay. It's real good.

Yeah. And this isn't a spoiler. Have you just watched the first episode though? There's five of them and I've watched four. Oh, okay. And so we're watching the cliffhanger tonight. Nice. And there's so many twists and turns. Don't. No it's just one of those shows where it's crazy. No but don't say that. Okay okay. Now this isn't related to that joke but I've just got like mysteries on the mind. Yep. Because it sounds like what you're saying is like because there's always

like the police rock up the door and they always have to like play coy. Yeah. Oh hi officer. I'm like oh hi officer you're not here about that person that was murdered and had their body dumped in the river down there with my fingerprints on it are you? Yeah, because we don't know anything about that. So yeah, it was a little bit of that. But you know, all above board, really all above board. But I just, I said to Libby like, are you're not gonna let them come here anymore Like without you like do you like every time I put something on the TV someone dies or they say bum You know nothing really bad about a bum, but it is when it's the same name as what I know about life Is that things happen in threes? So what I'm interested in is what can I gonna say next the Trilla the final?

Trilogy the saga will be completed. That's very funny. And I look forward to it. Me too. So please keep us in the loop. I've got a love to see it here and it's a start the fucking blog. I love it. Lauren Manley.

Did you finger on a plane? No, never have fingered a Lauren on a plane, especially not a manly one. That's not true. Um, my love to see it is doubles as a start the fucking blog moment. My boyfriend has released his first video game as a solo developer on stream. What? So he's built his own game. He's worked super hard.

I'm so proud of him. Uh, thought my fellow tarpers would appreciate the name because it's like a digging build the town kind of cool. It's called Big Dig Energy. Big Dig Energy game. That is amazing. And if you go to the love to see it thread in our Facebook group, you can actually watch a little video because you know, they've like done a little screenshot of the world and it looks real fun. Oh, yeah So it's on Steam like you said. That's awesome. It looks so good. He made this himself. Yep from scratch well, I don't know how it works, but I Just heard made their own video game. I'm like

That's awesome. That is real impressive and I can confirm That it is a family friendly game and there are no buts. Yeah, cool. Some ifs. No, that's actually, some maybes. Sorry, I'm just having a day. Very funny.

Thank you. I've got a love to see it here from Ethan Pinko. You'll really love this. Pinky! Because it's Officeworks related. LeCot. Ethan says, I work at Officeworks in the printing department and love all the Officeworks chat recently.

And honestly, you guys should work for us. What you suggested to Ryan. Not unsubscribed. What you suggested to Ryan makes our lives so much easier. Remember when we were talking about the printing and I said, you should just upload it and then go pick it up? That apparently is amazing for them because they can then do it all in their own time. Yeah, but they can like, they don't then have to explain how things work. They just get it done. And he was like, and if you give us the PDF, like upload it to the thing, it's like less chance

it can kind of go wrong because we've got the entire file rather than, because people would go in there and be like, could you do a bit of this one, bit of this one? Like, could you, you know, and that's a bit like higgledy piggledy. But Ethan, a proud ambassador of Officeworks, gave us the big thumbs up for how we use and talk about Officeworks.

And I love to see that. Well, thank you, Ethan. And I'm- Not sponsored by the way, just well, it is. It is sponsored. It is not. It is sponsored because because Ethan said you should work there. I do. I am on the what's the panel thing I was invited to. Oh, what was that?

Officeworks advisory board or something. Did you have you taken them up on that? I think I got the email. Do you know what you should do? Do it and then put it as your LinkedIn. Yes. Member of the Officeworks advisory panel. Well, a bit of off air chat.

When I went to do my- Office air chat. I did an exam at uni the other day and it was a written, I thought it was a written exam and I was on my way to uni and I realized I didn't have a pen and... Which is just crazy. So 29 minutes before my exam started I'm running around the Officeworks in Collingwood there on Victoria Parade and but it's... Is there such a thing as too many options for pens?

Because they go, hey mate, can I just get a black pen? And they go, yeah, let me show you them all. And I went, I've actually got an exam that starts in 29 minutes and I just need a black pen. Okay, so do I think that there is such a thing as too many options for a pen? Generally in day-to-day life, no. In a rush, yeah.

Just give me a black pen. I can't believe that you didn't have a pen in your backpack or a pen in your car or- There normally is and I think that's where I kind of went like student card for like ID. I had my laptop, had my books, had some notes and stuff and I was, and it's just like a pen is such a rant.

Like it just wasn't on my checklist. And then, and it's also one of those, oh, well obviously that'd be a few in my bag or there'd be some in the car. And it was, I was driving and kind of like put my hand across into the bag and I went, fuck, I don't think I've got any pants. And it's just like that, was it Murphy's law

when you're like, fuck, of course the day when I actually fucking need one. The only time, yeah. And so then I, yeah. Although what was funny, cause it was early in the morning, I think the first hour or two of Officeworks has a bit of an air of, I had something due today, energy about it.

Cause there was a lot of people like, I've got a presentation at work and I haven't fucking, and so they're like ducked into print. And so everyone there was also just as anxious as I was. And they was like, I'm not fucking wasting your time. You don't waste my fucking time. We're all here. We've got a fucking job to do.

Let's fucking get. And so, so me and Mabel have been in the afternoon because the kid stuff in Officeworks is actually unbelievable. They have awesome craft stuff there. But the morning is a different energy. That's really interesting. Yeah. I like that everyone's got something due.

That's very funny. Yeah, but it's like when you see it. Or picking up the thing that you needed printed for the presentation you've got today. Yeah, and then you're straight in Australia, no small chat. Yeah. Although I'll tell you what is strange, I printed something out from the kiosk, which, so the self-serve. Yeah, they don't like that. That's what Ethan said. No, no, like, so there's three different ways you can print. You can email in advance

and then they print it and then you just pick it up or you can line up and then they have to like, Oh yeah. Or they've got the self-serve. The self-serve. I see. But the self-serve, it doesn't staple. Oh. And then I'm like, not gonna buy a stapler.

Oh, so do you just then go, oh, you can just staple this one. Yeah. Oh, they don't like that. They don't like that. They don't like that. No. And I go, hey, mate, I'm just this one pen

and also can I borrow a staple? Could I bother you to staple this up? Oh. You didn't have a paper clip? Oh no because I want to like fold through the... Oh I think if you need a stapler you've got to organize that in advance that's on you. Maybe this is what you could discuss the talking point. Yeah. The advisory board yeah free stapler talking point Free stapler on the way out. Maybe they should just have one that you can kachunk on the way out. Just like a universal one.

A little kachunker. Yeah. One of those big ones. Yeah. Aren't they satisfying? Yeah. Oh, here's another recommendation for life as well as stolen girl. I love that you're like, can we go home?

I'm not feeling very well. 10, you'll love to see it's later. If you, this is fucked. If you ask to borrow, also borrowing a staple is fucking dumb. You're obviously not going to give it back. Just say you're taking a staple. Cause they're like, oh, can I borrow a staple?

Yeah. I would probably be cheeky and say, oh, can I pinch a staple off? Yeah. So I've done sort of that. Yeah. And then I've kachunked it. And then I was like, oh, well, I I pinch a staple off? Yeah. So I've done sort of that. Yeah. And then I've could chunked it. And then I was like, oh, well, I want to make sure it's dirty. So I'll like double could chunk, but then I like crisscross could chunkers

and the staple like got stuck in the fucking thing. So the guy's doing me a favor. I'm like not buying a thing and I've could chunked my could chunker and now the staples stuck to my notes. thing and I've could choked my Kachunka and now the staples stuck to my notes. There's 28 minutes till the exam starts at this point and I'm still in Collingwood. I fucking hate uni. I mean you're not making it sound great for anyone. That sounds terrible. I just also like can't believe that you're in that position. Like that's so stressful to me.

But the reason that I think about pre-planning stuff or would have organized whatever is because I don't like the feeling of being stressed. Or rushed. Yeah, or rushed. So I'm kind of like, hey, me doing that the night before is a gift to myself. I know that like, no, I've probably considered myself super neurotic in the past, or people have been like, oh, why do you have to plan everything? It's actually so then on the day I don't have to worry about anything. It's the opposite. Well, I do. You do the stress in advance. Yeah. And then it's done.

And then I go, great. I don't have to think about that now. Yeah. Well, you'll have to see that. Good Kachonking, everyone. Good Kachonking. Enjoy the Stolen Girl. I'm pretty sure it's Disney+. Yeah. OK Kachonking everyone. Good Kachonking. Enjoy the Stolen Girl. I'm pretty sure it's Disney Plus. Yeah, okay. Oh, it is.

It is. A British show. A British show. Oh, I haven't watched it. Also, then this isn't a spoiler, it's just about the main actor in it, is like, the whole first step I'm like, where do I know this fucking guy from?

Yeah, classic. I won't say where, because this in itself is one of the great mysteries, but when you realize where he's from, you will fucking shit yourself like I did. Okay, nice. It's one of the great, oh, that guy. Yeah, I do like a good one a lot.

And that's really the mystery within the mystery. You know what I mean? Does it affect the show though, where he's from? No, no, it's like just the actor. Yeah, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All right, love you, see, no, just the actor. Yeah, sure. All right, love you, see you tomorrow, maybe. I'm not really sure. Who's to say? Yeah.

Who's to say? Love you, bye.