Toni and Ryan - Best Of Toni and Ryan Podcast 2025

Episode Date: December 21, 2025

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Welcome, welcome, welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Tony said what? I do look good. Sorry! Our lips ready because you're going to want to smooch me. I've been a vet for nine years and any time... Fuck, that's a long time? Nine years.

I've never done anything for nine years except fucking put on weight. The other day, Tony goes, you know how when you're little, you cough heaps and then just vomit? It's surprising that you don't do that. as much as an adult. Isn't it weird how you just don't, like, throw up all the time? And you know, she said it with such fondness. Yeah.

Like, yeah, you don't really get that anymore, do you? What a shame. Down at the BP. I don't know what that was. That wasn't American. That was Elvis getting fueled. I don't know what that was. You didn't fill her up, little mama.

I'm out of underwear, and I'm currently wearing bathers. Show me. You just pulled them quite far over and I've actually just seen your cock. Did you see that as well? Was that on camera? I saw a side of something. I was just straight. Oh no, Lily's got up.

I didn't mean to do that. I was just showing you asked to see if I was wearing bathers and I am. I just, Charles is under age. Happy birthday to you're right Happy birthday to you Yeah, I'm here I'm here. From the barber

From the barber I don't want to. Now, we know Tony is known for her micro fringe. I'm considering this is a podcast, is there anything you would like to say? I so rarely, as you know, I'm lost for words. So it's just a shaved head, but a micro fringe. What do you think? Look good?

Your wife's going to kill me. Do you know what's actually crazy? Don't. No. I do look good I don't hate it so I need you to talk me through the experience at the barber

well Charles was with me this morning and uh so there's video footage of great I don't know if we'll use it though because it's fair to say Charles the guy did not get the joke or appreciate the cut the guy definitely did not and he definitely charged you for not getting the joke either

yeah he fucking reamed us because he kept going like oh but if I cut it short here it's not going to look good and I was like mate my friend looks like this I'm going to come back oh okay no I'm going to fucking stop you right there your friend does not look like that my friend's got a micro fringe she's really fashionable hang on

best friend has a micro fringe she is really fashionable can I also get a micro fringe what I'm going to need is a number two all over but leave the front and jell it down and I know it's I said the words I know it's not going to look good but this is what I want And I said, maybe I'll be back pretty soon.

Just have to go record a podcast. Trim the front off. Yeah. There it is. If we show that on the wide, Tony has broken her foot. And I'm sweaty. I'm not wearing a bra. There's a lot going on.

Is it true that when you went to the hospital, you were wearing bathers? I was wearing a one-piece bathing suit under my clothes. And that was about three hours ago. maybe two hours ago. You've been to the hospital. Being to the hospital. We'll get to all that. And then just then I went,

I really need to go to the bathroom, but I'm really scared. And Lily was like, you'll be okay. I can help you over there. I was like, I'm still wearing my bathers. So I've had to just like fully de-robe in the toilet.

Was it last week that we said, you never feel more naked than when you're naked, but with shoes on? I've just got my moon boot on. Oh. How did it feel? Naked. To be fully naked, but with one moon boot.

And also, I had to, Lily deserves a pay rise for sure because she's like, can I get me? I was like, I'm so sorry, but I'm going to need you to go get me a pair of knickers from my bag. So she went and got me some undies and then obviously had to pass them back to me while I was naked because I hadn't gotten back dressed back yet. Yep. Pretty humbling. Yeah. So in the past week, I'm the only one who hasn't seen it. I knew obviously that as a tourist here in the USA,

I would need to consult with my insurance before I went to the hospital because I didn't know what was going to happen. I am like in searing pain. I'm just like trying to breathe through it. I'm like a woman having contractions. I'm like, because it just hurt so fucking much. Charles gets on the phone to the insurance people. And he goes,

I am calling on behalf of my friend Tony who's just had a fall kick a fucking slut while she's down of all the times I didn't even realize what I said Yeah but that's that's what makes it more accurate Yeah I know I can share the x-ray as well

It's like pretty gnarly Yeah How good at x-rays? You're like well it obviously sucks I've got a broken foot But how good is this look? Well I had to get three And I had to pay for all of them

um so that wasn't awesome but the um the doctor comes out and she's like look i'm not supposed to really tell you this but like it's broken but she broke like you know how they go oh we have to wait until it goes to a specialist and they have a look and the orthopedic surgeon will tell you what's wrong whatever um literally and she's like oh i'll have to schedule you in you're like yeah just tell me what it looks like and i'm like oh so she's like yeah so you see how those four bones are all together and that fifth one isn't and i was like oh sure So that's what we're looking at. Would you like to hear the moment when you found out it was six weeks?

I'd love to, actually. And so, and is it the, like, depending on how I go, is that just, like, for a while? Do it for at least six weeks? I'm gone. The orthop will tell you, too, when you see them, like, when you get back. Six weeks. For the one you have, the type of fracture, at least. Are you joking?

No. Try your best, okay? Just be consistent with it, because I made the mistake. I broke up my foot twice, and I was stubborn. Oh, well, you're speaking to the wrong doctor. So hang on, it's a minimum of six. Yeah, so she goes... How do you return the boot?

So, this is kind of what I was saying. I'm like, oh, well, how am I going to get back to you? She's like, you're going to have to work for six weeks, and I was like, fuck off. And then she's like, yeah, when are you going to be home? Because as soon as you get home, you need to go and see an orthopedic surgeon to, like, have another set of x-rays. and, like, see if it's healing right and stuff. Like, I'm not going to, I don't think I'm going to have to have to have surgery or anything, like, but.

Yeah, you'll make sure it's healing in the right spot. Yeah. And, yeah, so I'm immediately was just like, oh, like, how am I going to get this back to you? So I own this bad boy. Did you? Yeah. And I own those crutches as well.

Do you? Yeah. And when you say own them, they were like, they don't miss you on the. Oh, they don't miss you. No, they see you coming. On the invoice? Yeah. And as you're walking through, there's like, oh,

Crutch is $3.99, you know, like there, yeah, it's all on the, there's literally. If you had a, like, giving us a bit of notice, we could have got them on Amazon for $19. I've made a game. And it's called, did Tony say that? Tony said, what? Hospital edition. Hang on. So much has just happened.

I'm so over. Tony, say that. Tony said what? All right. For those listening along at home, Tony is playing her own sound effects of her own voice off her phone. Yeah, it's very high-tech stuff going on here.

So how do I play? Okay, I'm glad you ask. Come on down, Ryan, John. You, you, you, you. Okay, so I'm going to give you a scenario and then I'm going to give you two options and you're going to select which one you think is correct. Okay.

Because we're playing a round of. Tony said, Tony said, what? Okay. Question number one. The day before the surgery on my broken foot. Did I say A?

I'm in really good hands and I just don't feel nervous at all. No, the other one. The other one. The answer is the other one. Or did I say B? Why didn't anyone say that they were worried I was going to tie? Would you like your options again? No, no.

Can I give some background information? Sure. So Tony had a slight cold and when you have a cold, you're not supposed to go under. And we all went, oh, you'll be right. And then Tony probably. said why didn't anyone say that they were worried I was going to die and the answer is because we just knew how tough you were yeah no and that's fair um you have gotten

that correct yeah I'm fine and said that um and also we were right Tony said what I don't mean the right answer I mean we're right you didn't die That was fine, yeah. Because we believe, our only problem is we believe in you way more than you believe in yourself. So true. Tony said what? Question number two. Before I went into surgery, my heart rate was really high.

They were a bit worried. They said, is everything okay? Did I say, A? Sorry, let me take a deep breath. just feeling a little bit nervous. Calmly. Or did I say, B? Sorry, I'm so sorry.

I think I'm just a little bit stressed because I couldn't shave my, my legs or my toes before this. Tony said, what? Okay, so we're choosing for Twitter. Yeah. Would you like to hear options again? No, no, I think we're good, actually. Um, I'm going to go option B. Uh, I'm really stressed because I haven't shaved.

And what made it true is because you included toes. Tony said what? You got it. Yes. Um, they were like, oh, is your heart rate normally high? And I was like, it actually isn't. I wear my Apple Watch a lot. And I know that my resting heart rate's quite low.

Um, I was like, oh, I think, you know, when you're in the hospital, they're doing all your obes before the thing. And you're not, like, you're actually just nervous. Yeah. And I was like, oh, I'm feeling really stressed because I haven't, I couldn't shave anything. Yeah, but is it also the shaving, but just like you're going for fucking surgery? Yeah, but I said to them that it was about the hairy lids and toes. And they went, we already know, you haven't.

All right. Question number three. When the doctor came to visit me after the surgery, did I say, Hello, Dr. Taylor. How are you? Oh, option B. Oh, good I, Pete. Tony said what?

So is this after the surgery you kind of, you wake up, you come to and they come in and sort of... When you're in the recovery area. Now, what makes this game more difficult to find out which is the truth and which is not the truth is its only audio. And obviously that helps through a podcast. Yep. Because what would help me visually is whichever one you were shuckering in would probably be the one.

Would you like me to do a visual reenactment? Yeah. Hello, Dr Taylor. How are you? Okay. Option B. Guay Pete. Although I also, this is the, if you said to me, guess what I said.

Yeah. It'd be very close to be. Yeah. But it'd be like, good A.P. How'd me foot go? All good, dog. Yeah, all good. How's me fucking foot.

Because I know that when I've had surgeries, suddenly you think you're a medical expert that needs to sign off. I need to just like double check everything's all clear. But you wake up and you go, how do they get it done? Yeah. They fix my shoulder. Show me the paperwork.

I just want to make sure. Or like it went well. Because you know, there's always, oh, we couldn't quite get it back. Yeah. Nah. Hey, Dr. Pete, you got it done, bro? I trust you. A bit like, did you do it good?

So Dr. Peter Taylor is Australia's leading orthopedic surgeon. and you're right. I did say, Oh, good-a-P. I think that's fine. Tony said, what? Did you say that in third person? Did you do any, like, kind of small chat,

try to be funny because you're on the loopy gas? Question four. I thought we're only getting three questions. This is great. No, this is the fourth and final question. Okay, double points for the last round. Double points for the last one. if you managed to get it.

Okay. And I'm on a hot streak. All right, you ready? When I had just come out of surgery, so shortly after Pete had come round. Yeah. A nurse said to me, we've had you in here before.

I recognize you. Did I say, Hey. No, sorry, I don't think so. I haven't been here before. Or did I say to the nurses helping me in recovery after surgery? No, you probably recognise me because I'm really, really famous. Tony said what?

I have never been. more second-hand embarrassed in my fucking life. I'm first-hand embarrassed. I can fill these nipples, honestly. And did she just go? Just went, like laughed it off because obviously they just attributed that to me being...

A fuckhead? But obviously they're like... Oh, that's just her. She's just a fuckhead. But because they're like, well, you're not famous. And... Oh, you're known for sitting on your couch doing a podcast. And how could we have not...

moan but it was kind of they were like i bet you are sweetheart yeah and the guy next door is playing in the afl grand final on the weekend too isn't he little timmy yeah like but you know it was kind of that energy that they were just like i bet you need a bit more pain relief you know a lot yes what it sounds would you like to lock in an answer i will go because i know how humble you are yeah oh bam bam i should have recorded one that's As Tony said not, because that is the wrong answer. I've got a letter from the Nillambit Council. That's the one for work, isn't it?

No, it's my home. My home. This is from, now we've done a lot of bin chat in our time. This is from the waste and recycling team. Is this formal correspondence about our bin chat? This is bin chat. Are they finally confirming that it is just one bin person that does all of Melbourne on different days? They have not confirmed that.

Conspiracy. I've blown that wide open. Now, this has my address on it. Oh. So it's not like they've just letterbox. Like, it's got my address. So it's like, dear at address. Dear Ryan.

Yep. You don't have to like you. Yeah. You don't have to beat that. Hey, for privacy. Ryan, that's actually living in witness protection. Yeah. But what I'm,

what I'm getting at is that it's personalized to me and my address. It's not just like a. Like a letterbox drop or like a flyer. Yep. On the 19th of February 2025, you placed incorrect items into your recycling bin. Incorrect items such as here, garbage and or plastics were in the recycling bin,

like not the actual one. Oh my God, this is the most passive aggressive thing. Please turn over. For information on what can and can't, what did you call me, go in your recycling bin and on the back it's got like a paper and cardboard to help improve recycling waste collection trucks identify incorrect items do they make our fucking bins bigger sorry sorry but if you don't want us to fuck around then don't fuck us around

That's my official word on that I agree Give us a bigger fucking bin Yeah Put any the right things in the right bin Is good for the environment And our community When recycling is contaminated

It makes it hard to sort And turn into new products Oh sorry I do care about the environment Yeah do you So all week I've said We've got a big exclusive announcement Scoop John has found out

Some undercover news And I'm ready to share it with you Big W stands for Big Woolworths How are your socks It honestly Is the biggest news I've heard this week Also Tony's engaged Wow

Show us the ring Sorry, let me put it on Because we've been I have heard a rumor that one Torbs from the Torblorone dynasty has welcomed Tony Lodge to formally join the family and she's currently engaged. Holy fuck. How can you hold your hand up with that fucking weight around your finger?

I know. I'm going to need a splint. How does it feel? It feels amazing. Yeah. And it feels amazing to be able to like share it with our like type of family also. Now how do, what, tell me what happened. Okay.

So it was like a Sunday night And we were just at home Like hanging out watching TV We'd like been out for breakfast in the morning It was just like a really sweet day And we were gonna go do some food shopping And tours was like oh I'll just go run and get changed before we go And I was like okay I'll just wait here

And I was on the couch in my nighty And when he walked back out He wasn't changed but he had the ring in his hand And what did he say? And he knelt down next to the couch where I was and he was like, will you please marry me? And what did you say? I said no.

Did you mean to say no, please, act, take us to the moment because you're a fucking idiot. He was like, will you please marry me? And I was like, no, what? Because it was a total surprise. So there was no inkling of anything. No, no, no, no, I had no idea. And then I was like, what?

And then I was like, oh, I was so, like, um, and then I tried to get up. Are you speechless? I was. You? Tony never shuts the fuck up lodge. I know. Speechless. Uh-huh.

I just had no words. And then, um, and then I tried to get up on, like to kneel up onto the couch. Yeah. And I slipped right down. Like, I just like fully like ate shit. Yeah. And like hit my face on the like edge of the couch. And he was like, oh my.

my god and i was like oh my god sorry sorry sorry um and then i was like oh what and i was like grabbed him on the fire i was like what and then um and then he was just like he said all these like really lovely things and he was like will you please marry me and then i was like oh my god yes of course and then of course even though i said no even though yeah i had to think about it for a second um and then yeah we just like we're both just like bawling our eyes out it was like really overwhelming and like super emotional incredible and yeah it was a real surprise now are we going to show the video of when you told me oh yes yeah ladies and gentlemen i present lady tony felicia lutch oh thank you i got you something for a monday oh get the fuck out

Please say something I'm shaking so much Oh my God Is it almond milk or soy What the fuck is that What the fuck happened? Why I got your frappy No wonder you've been looking

fucking sheepish this morning Come here, what the fuck? Oh my God Well the only thing So they've opened up the wallet to be like Like, hey, wallet found in this area. Look at the name on the driver's license. Sean Apoll.

It's Mr. Sean Paul. How's he going to be able to know the right temperature if he doesn't have his wallet? Is it literally? Yeah, Mr. Sean Paul. You know, I thought it was the thing about Curry being one of the great basketballers in the... No. No Sean a pole

You That deserve better No it is good It is good I thought you'd think that was No that is great Shon Apoll That's your favourite

No my favourite's pit bull No but you love Shonapol Shonopol Yeah See Yeah Can I get a time out of time

Get it Gotta get a Get a dirt Go Five banana Half men out this time Baby girl Oh my world

Have I'm on the waiting time I'm on. I want to be keeping you all. I got the right temperature shelter you from a store. Oh, I've got to write that thing to turn you off. Oh, oh. I'm really. You can be the mom.

Oh. Oh. So if anyone knows where he is. We've got his wallet. We've got his wallet. Thank God for that. He's hot as fuck, though, eh, Harris Dickinson. The reason I knew he existed is.

because he was a guest on hot chicken shop date. Oh, yep. And I didn't, and I'm like, who's this guy? Why is he on? Oh, I was in a movie Nicole Kidman. So I go, great. I get on the plane on Qantas and I go, that's the guy from chicken shop date. I'll watch the movie with Nicole Kidman.

And I watched that on a plane. I watched that on the flight over here. Oh, no. It's so much sex. And I was on. And you're like trying to shield your screen for the person next to be like, oh yeah when people were walking past I was like hell nervous but then once I'd

started watching it it was so uncomfortable because of the movie but I was like I have to see I couldn't stop watching it yeah in it like now we're all friends here now it was a it was a horned up movie

we're all friends here and there was chat in the Airbnb last night about who did or did not jerk it on a plane oh We're not going to out anyone, but lots of people in the room have done that in the past. We've all done it in the past. Lily claims she hasn't.

I have not. Okay. Some of us are honest. Did you? And because you said to me, did you, you asked me point blank on the flight over, did you? Yeah. And I... It's a long flight.

It's a long flight. No, but because I was, didn't want to talk about this movie yet. I, having watched that movie, and then you asked me that and I was like, if only you knew the trauma I'd been through. So, you did? What I'm saying is, is that anyone who's watched that movie, I can't believe you saw it in a cinema with other people in the room, Lil. Did you go home and have sex?

No, it does, no. It did nothing for you. I saw it. Oh, it did lots for me. I saw it with two friends and we were like, Should we have gone together? Like, that was... If I saw that in the cinema, I'd be song...

Because there'd be other people in the room. Like, do we all fucking... Yeah. ...jerk off together now? Yeah. I feel like that's weird. Like, if you were watching an adult video, but just like... Why did you just get it to me?

If any... The Royal You... Yeah. Like, an adult film is something you'd watch in the privacy of your own self. As in, like, if you were watching porn. Yeah. It was as if I was watching porn on a fucking full airplane. Yeah.

And to think that some people... sat in a fucking hoit and watched it as a collective yeah yeah tell me honestly did you jerk off on the plane I didn't but I thought about it and I to the point where you did no but to the point where I actually when we were talking last night I was like a fair bit of space and I was like the bathrooms were pretty big on that plane because I kind of got in there I was like like I was sizing it up I was like I probably could did you have a bonner did you have a Do you talk on? The whole movie.

Did you actually? I was, I had to get so much, like I was lightheaded. Did you really? The movie goes for so long. Hour 54. An hour 54. That's a long time. Yeah.

So did you jerk off? Just say you jerked off. Because did you? None of us is going to judge you. No, but I wish I had off. Oh. Tony just nearly shattered stuff because someone's knocked on the door. We've had a.

brief intermission because the Uber Eats has arrived so we're about to eat and as we just had a brief intermission. Charles like gets up against the door and Lily's like oh hang on let me give your hand. Yeah and so in that 30 second pause where we stopped recording Tony leans over

and goes but did you how did you know that your pubs were too long? Like when did you know and I'm not saying this in like oh I like hooked up with someone and it was all i don't i mean like when was it at an oh h and s issue it's like come on mate yeah you've been too comfy for too long it's been a long winter come on well but but not even like

oh maybe they're a bit long as in to look or whatever i mean like when did you know because something has happened to me and i wanted i wanted to do this anonymously and ryan said no your name to it. And so I am. Yep. But something happened to me. And I just, I'm actually like, this is pretty embarrassing. Okay.

It's a vulnerable moment and I'm here to support you. I woke, I drink heaps of water. Heaps of water. And I woke up in the middle of the night needing to do a wee. During the night, in my slumber, my pubs which are long had kind of it's it's just it's not even going the way that you think is it going the way of your hands are gesturing because that's just my pubs had combined and combed like forward into this little mohawk and so like my like the pubs from both side

of the flaps had like combined rendering my pussy flaps closed ultimately at the end of the day like a bridge so yeah like a bridge like this little like whoop I sat down on the toilet

and because that's it's night time so I sat maybe a little bit too bit further forward basically what happened is the way travelled up the pubic spout and onto the floor

onto the bath mat up the pubic spout here is my candle here is my pubic spout when I get all steamed up sorry big song I'm at our home at the moment hopefully not which is now ruined obviously so

so the wee has travelled up and over and onto the floor. So you've just pissed forward straight off the front. Because the pubs just created this straw and what I'm imagining is gravity has. Force gravity. Yeah.

Would you say it was like a siphon? Your pubs was kind of created like a water slide. What do you think a spout is? If nothing else. It is just a water slide for people. So. And that's when you knew.

it's probably time it's probably time and you know when you get up to do a wee in the middle of the night you like try and stay as asleep as possible and I'm like well I can't ignore that oh you probably could that sounds like a tomorrow problem

no I and yeah no yeah you're right you know so then I had to jump in the shower oh thanks everyone luckily it wasn't on my nighty because obviously I'd like wheech that around me buz oh because that would be the worst part of all of this oh if then my pyjamas were dirty yeah can you imagine what a pain in the ass yeah can i it's not the worst thing i've imagined

in the last yeah you know what i mean yeah you know what i mean um so then i had to jump in the shower and then i had to like the next day then like wash the bath mat obviously and yeah um so i just like when did you know that your pubs were too long was it this year that you could called yourself a lawn queen? See, I've been paying too much attention to outdoors. You've been mowing the wrong lawn. Yeah. Yeah.

Fuck, dude. How do you feel now, like now a few days have passed? I'm embarrassed still. Have you... I don't want to tell you how to live your life. Have you, like, taken on that and, like... What are you asking? Is the bridge still standing?

Um, it is actually because, because I just was like, well, I need to deal with that and I just haven't because then I had to wash the bathroom hours. I'm like, blah, blah, you know. Um, so do you have a time, Ryan come to mind when you're, when did you know your pups are too long? Yeah, but do we just need your moment to just be a moment for a bit? No, because I think I need you to come and help me. Oh, okay. So like if we're both embarrassed, then we're friends. Because you're, I thought you would think it was funny and you're kind of looking at me with pity in your eyes.

Do you want like a story to like to feel like we're in this together? Yeah. If you have one. If you don't have one. No, I do. But I wish I didn't. Oh, see. Oh, I can't like to look at you with pity in my eyes.

No. No, all good. Fuck, I hate this. You know what will help? Do you want to do it anonymous? Say someone sent it in. I need a, you were brave. I thank you so much.

And I need to support your bravery and be brave myself. You know, I'm keeping, I'm brave girl. Yeah. You know how pubic hair like gets curly? Yeah. What? No, like, yeah. So you know.

I'm so glad I'm now on the other side of it. Yeah. So, you know how if you just like... You know if you're just like having to scratch around and whatever? And like, if you were to like, pull at it, it would like uncurl. You know? Yeah. And so I guess what I'm saying is when you like pull out it and uncurl it, you realize like it's a lot longer than

you thought because when it's curled up it's like a nest I'm actually crying because of the shame that I'm about to say when you uncoil it if the hair is longer than your dick is that's when you uncoil it if the hair is longer than your dick is that's when you know now for me I don't have that long. Other people, they might have more time, but that's when you know, that's when you know. It had been coiled. American golfer, Ryan McCormick, has taped his mouth shut because he couldn't stop complaining and having tantrums.

I haven't been having a fun time on tour this year, Mr. McCormick said. I'm always angry and mad, and after trying lots of things, I'd figured I'd just try to to shut myself up by putting tape over my mouth. Now, Tony loved this new story into the group chat. Because I was... Is it because of your love of Adelaide? Oh, I love a quiz. Is it because of your love of golf?

Or is it because you know someone in our workplace also won't shut the fuck up? What was the reason you like... Because you went, there might be something in this for us. And I was like, which part of the story could be? So, all of the above, but I loved that the top comment was men will do anything but go to therapy

how about the solution is not being a fuck weird? Here's an idea, deal with your problems. Yeah, instead of fucking gnashing your mouth closed on a fucking, at work, like you are literally at work and you're

deciding like, you know what? Oh, I just won't fucking say anything. And he's fucking taped his mouth closed. What a fucking baby. What a baby! How are you going to cry now, baby, if your fucking mouth is... You can still do that with your mouth close, you fucking cockhead. I literally, it made me so mad.

And I was like, that is embarrassing. Like, can you imagine being that c-wife or like any family member and being like, Ryan's on the course again You haven't done the dishes Anything to say for yourself Yeah I just won't say anything Like what a classic

Oh fuck Now It's actually like hideously embarrassing There's one Couldn't agree more with everything There's one thing that we haven't facted in here though Yeah Is that it says

He's been having tantrums And getting annoyed at things So that's why Play better crap Yeah Here's an idea, hit the ball in the fucking hole. Like, you know what I mean? Practice.

The other day, over the weekend, Torbs and I, we had to kill a little bit of time. My car was like out of thing and I had to go pick it up and it was like... In no man's land, sort of? Kind of. And it's like, I have to go pick up the car in like 40 minutes and it's like 15 minutes away from home. So it's not worth going home. So I can sit on the couch and scroll on my phone for five minutes. and then go all the way back.

So we were like, I was like, oh, you know what? Like, it's fucking 1pm. I haven't had any lunch. Should we just grab something from the drive-thru and like kids sit in the car and just like eat our food from? Yeah, that's cool. And I have not done that probably since I like got my license. So we pull out of the drive-thruiter at the Red Rooster on Bell Street.

Yep. We pull out of the drive-thruy and, um, um towards as fuel light comes on we're in his car and i'm like oh well my food's too hot like what an adventure let's go get fuel and we had all of this time to kill so we drove past a few service stations that didn't have good vibes like you know how when you need fuel you're like well i need fuel i can't be picky i was like no not vibing that one next we drive past a few servos and we end up like out near like the office and we're kind of like we've passed summer hill and there's like this huge BP on the left hand side and I was like that's the one I've recently been to that one

it's a great service station incredible BP it is a really good fucking service station it's huge heaps of bowsers and you know what I like about it three entries yeah are you joking are you joking me. There's heaps of room to get in it out. There's three different entries. Yeah, it's so good. You cannot get trapped in the BP on that street. Right, because there's so many ways in and out.

There's so many ways to get in it out. You were probably thinking, wow, this day cannot get any better. It couldn't. And I'm about to blow your fucking mind. It actually couldn't get better. So, Torbs gets fuel. Sorry, he pulls in and we're like, wow, there's so many entries at this fucking BP. Can't get stuck. And I look over and I'm like, oh my God, this BP has a car wash. And Dobs

goes, oh, cool. He gets fuel, right? He goes in. And what is one of my favorite things about a service station when somebody else goes in? They come back out with a surprise. With snacks, yeah. He comes back out with a fucking can a Diet Coke and a code to the automatic car wash. $12 right giving it away how are they making money we go through the automatic car wash

and we eat our red rooster in the fucking car wash I've got some videos of it because it was just the best time I've never done an automatic car wash what do you want to say best friend Tony Lodge I'm actually going to come over

to say this let me come around I'm already engaged Get ready Are you How are our lips ready Because you're going to want to smooch me Yeah what is it

I went through the BP car wash Last night Coincidence Can you go away that Wasn't the best time I feel like Greatest time I never Oh thank you

I was a guy At the Webby's, I fist bump Snoop Dog. And it was amazing. Huge news this time last week. Highlight of my life. I've been stoned ever since. Contact high. My mate Rach messages me.

Raich Eccles. Raich Eccles and says, compared to the birth of Mabel and the day you married Bridget, where does this compare? Where does it rank? Yeah. Do you want me to read the text? I sent back to Rache.

Yeah. Oh, but before you think, could you also include in that, like, when you met BJ? Well, this is what, that's what she asked. Yeah. Um, oh, BJ B too. Because that's, when the day B.J and I met. You know, your former favourite dog. Before Snoop.

That's quite funny. Thanks. Normally when people think something's funny they laugh. That's all. You said that to me the other day I'm lashing out. You are lashing out. Because I'm not on the list at all. Trust me, this is a story that becomes all about you.

Which is your favourite type. So just give... Yeah, so I give it room to breathe, yeah. So Rach messaged me and says, Compared to the birth of Mabel and the day you married Bridget, how does this compare? Yeah. And my reply is, who are Mabel and Bridget?

That's very funny from you. I feel like that's right. I feel like that's right. Yeah. So anyway, what a great laugh moment for me. yeah huge and obviously and you deserve the kudos because it's great Tony's name is first in the show this show is the star of it

is Tony Lodge no that is not no hey it is what it is but I thought here we go this is my time for a little pause that is not why the show is called that Tony and the sidekick

no and there is no star the star of this show is our friendship that's actually beautiful And it's true. And I wish what you said was less beautiful because it'd be fun to fight about it. But now that you've said that, I'm like, that's a fucking good line. The star of this show is the fact that we love each other and we don't fight during the songs.

You know what I mean? I know what you mean? Yeah. Because there's no songs. If we played songs in this podcast, that's when shit would go down. Oh, yeah. Oh, yuck. Sorry.

Yeah. No, nothing. Go. No, you go because it's all about you, sweetheart. No. No, but actually what you do? No. I just thought I touched something weird, but it's just a zip.

Who's a zip? So finally, after being in Tony's shadows for years, I was like, this is my moment. Came into your own. This is my moment and I'm going to enjoy my moment. Totally. And then I look to the comments of the Snoop Dog video. Yeah. And it turns out it's not my moment after all.

Because the video where I'm fist bumping Snoop Dog sitting in the front of the shot is the hottest fucking bitch you will ever see. Tony Lodge looking a million bucks got that jumpsuit on. The tats showing you look a million bucks. Tats. Sorry. And your boobs looked amazing. I appreciate that.

And I think it was obviously just looking great on the night. But I think, I don't know if it was like the lighting or the angle of the shot, but it was just like your boobs could not have been done more justice than whatever the fuck was going on in that. true story it is yeah they don't look like that in real life yeah i know and to the point where after charles edited that video i said he's touched me up i was like in the edit it digitally oh not like with fingers i mean like oh god you digitally slipped a digit in there Charles i'm actually engaged mate no comments.

Hi, Jared. There are two awesome things in this video, and it's neither Ryan or Snoop. Kimberly, I watched this reel three times, and I thought, this is a great reel about Tony looking hot, and then I realized Snoop Dog was in it. Shona. I honestly got distracted by how good Tony Lodge looked. I didn't even realize what was going on behind her. Absolute smoke show.

I think smoke show should be used more often. I agree, yeah, about in reference to me preferably, but in general, yes. Renee, two amazing things in this video, and they're both of Tony's boobs in that dress. It's actually a jumpsuit. Jacqueline. Oh, fucking Renee, sort of out, sweetheart. Jacqueline, pretty rude of Snoop Dog to waltz into this incredible video about an incredible lady showing off her incredible cans. Cairns Diet Coke, yeah.

Tess. Hi, Tess. right okay now i'm gonna act out she's spelted out like phonetically amazing but i'm gonna like do best ryan fist bumping snoop tony in that dress oh oh oh thank you very much tess um now reb dog finally someone comments and acknowledges that i've fist bump snoop dog yeah Reb Dog says Ryan fist bumping Snoop Dog Tony that's going to be hard to beat

But I have faith in your fisting abilities Whilst on tour Now I don't know what that means Fisting because you fisted Snoop Dog Yeah You fisted me before We've fisted less since you've been engaged Oh yeah

Because every time you fist me you get my ring Tony and I actually used to fist bump a lot And now with their engagement ring We don't because I've nearly cut off my fucking hands hand. Slice my hand off at the wrist with that fucking big rock. Yeah. Do you have to declare that coming through customs?

They said, no, no, I didn't. We go upstairs and there's another little market stall at the Bunnings, which I haven't seen before. That's rare. And it was the CWA, like the Country Women's Association, selling like homemade pickles and like knitted blankets and like lemon butter and all. like all of this like homemade stuff. And I go, I'm going to fucking hit that on the way out.

Anyway, we go in, we find this cement pot. We're walking out and the CWA people are all there, all these lovely ladies. And I walk over and two of the ladies at the stall go, Oh, Tony Lodge. And I went, hello. And they went, oh, we love your radio show. We watch every day on YouTube. Well, they're a bit too old.

It makes you a bit nervous. No, well, I was like, oh, really? And they go, yeah, and then someone else goes, what's your radio show? What stations are on? I said, oh, it's actually a podcast. It's available anywhere at any time, which is a bit new, Fandangle, but it's,

we're getting used to it. A world first. Sorry, I'm not Channel 10. And she goes, oh, I'll have to look that up. And I said, oh, it is a little bit rude. And she went, oh, we love that. And anyway, and so this woman, Maria, right? Maria.

She holds my hand. She goes, oh, there's that beautiful. beautiful ring that that lovely boy gave you because Torbs was with me standing there holding the cement pot yeah which I didn't realize it's pretty heavy and I'm like having a yarn with these old ducks and torts standing there holding this fucking bar all right how long were you there for and what was the average age of these old ducks so the um the ladies probably if you had to guess between 60 and 70 okay like older but like not but but they were really sprightly they obviously have an amazing community because they do stuff all

together anyway and we're chatting and i was like oh these blankets are beautiful i love craft like like you know and then they were like oh yeah we get together now to cook um twice a month because like blah because you know it's winter it's a really hard time for people so they make all these meals through the week and then give them to people that like just need food yeah it's really really beautiful they go would you be interested in coming down and i went you know what i really i really would i actually would love that and so the country i have to announce tony and charles sorry charles and sophie have fucking lost you?

31. And you joke about living in the country, but Sophie, who lives in the same suburb, can you confirm, would you say jokes aside that you live in the country? An inner suburb. It is the inner north of Melbourne.

The thing is right, and this is like, this sounds a little bit sad, but I think it probably paints a really good picture of me. I don't really have a lot of friends. and I don't really have a community because I didn't grow up in Melbourne

but also like I feel like a lot of people make those kind of connections like through sport or like through like the other moms and dads at your kids school and stuff I don't really have that kind of outlet where like I'm meeting anybody else until you met Maria and so then I met all the ladies there

and I actually was like you know what it makes you feel really good because you're helping other people I get to cook and do craft with these other ladies and they said because they were a bit cheeky right

and I was like oh am I too young to join am I too young am I too hot and sprightly and they were like oh how old are you I was like I'm 31 and they were like we need the fresh blood is what they said

Fresh blood And so I've emailed them Oh I've emailed them And I said Would you like to read the email out Please Okay

It's here It starts from Hi there team CWA Hi there team CWA And this is just specifically to their Their chapter My name is Tony I met you at the market stall at Bunnings on the weekend

I was speaking with you all about maybe being able to come down and help out. I'd love to know what days you meet to cook or if there are any other ways I could be involved. I do work mostly full time. Well, all these ladies are retired. So I'm like, they're probably getting together on like a Tuesday morning. Do you know, that's all I could think was that I was like, they probably all do it during the week. which I can't obviously do

as someone who works with you it is flexible and what I'm saying in a positive way as a co-owner of this business is that I am prepared to move things around to like if this is important

and if it's important to you it's important to me and we will make this work for the CWA and I absolutely know that that's why I wanted to be like oh I work mostly full time but if you tell me when it is because I love those country women associations. I'd love to know which days you meet to cook or if there are any other ways I could be involved.

Because I was like, I could go and do the market stall at the bunnings. I am interested in helping even if I couldn't commit to being a full-time met. What do you think the commitment is? No, well, because I was like, if I could go and help with the stall, but I'm not like a... I think in the volunteer... Yeah, I think in the volunteering circles, it is a bit of a like, we all chip in and... So I... They're not...

Oh, they're hitting you up for a nine to five. No, it's not a nine to five, but it's kind of like, think they need the ongoing commitment that you're going to be there every week to help. Gotcha. Because there is actually only nine ladies in the one that I'm looking to join. Anyway. It was lovely to meet you and the other lovely, lovely ladies on Saturday. Thank you very much for the chat soon.

They have replied. Thank you so much. And there is a night coming up very soon where they're doing a craft night. So I'm going to go to the craft night They're going to show They've got a big commercial kitchen and stuff They're going to show me how they do everything And then depending on like

What days they normally cook and stuff like that I am going to become a country woman Last week on the show We had to make a decision It's become a bit of an issue that Our default Of saying agree yes is so true because Tony who is the first so true art was you now think it's condescending

because of the delivery sometimes of the so true I previously just shut the fuck up and I don't know if this is from so forth but I was a hundred percent I'm such a hundred percent are you a hundred percent yeah yeah so but that's been phased out for some reason what so true phased in Tony doesn't like it so we've said let's as a team decide on what our new like, hmm, yes. Agreed. Yeah.

So what we've done, I don't think you guys know about this. Tony's just written five sentences that are a true statement. And I don't know what they are. And I've written five trial new things we can say. And we have to read them in order and just see what fits. So to confirm, whatever I say,

Ryan's going to agree with. Oh, I didn't even think. Don't stitch me up though. Oh, got it. Fuck, I didn't even think of that. I did. Damn, I didn't think, yeah, okay. Okay, but mine, and again, the reason we're here, the reason we're here is to try out some of these new things.

Some new options. And Ryan's come up with these himself. So it's very exciting. Oh, weather's nice today. A freight train of fact. I like that. That's good. Canned food lasts so much longer than fresh food.

Core belief. I like core belief. Garfield loves lasagna and hates Mondays. Liked and subscribed. Sometimes my wee smells like beef noodles. Unlocking a new level of agree. I am the best-looking girl on earth. That's gospel, honey.

Gospel. And the final one. That's five. That's five. You said you had six. Yeah, but then I'd delete a one because we said we're doing five. Oh, no, this is the best one. Oh, no.

Hang on, hang on, hang on. What if you just test your favorite one out again? No, because I had like 30. Me too. Oh no. Sorry. If you're playing volleyball, you have to strap your wrists. My new personality.

Okay, so what do we got? Freight train of fact. We got Freight train of fact. Core belief. Core belief. Which feels a bit like Bible. It does. Well, I've got, that's gospel, honey, gospel, but it can just be gospel.

And that felt like Bible. Oh, yes, yep. Unlocking a new level of agree. I quite like unlocking a new level of agree. Liked and subscribed. I like that, but is that going to get a bit confused with things we actually talk about? No, that's just, it's yes ending. Sorry, yep.

So true. Afraid train of fact. Freight train of fact. What could you surely? any of those to be gospel subscribed we should do this subscribed that sounds a bit like a corporate guy trying to like fit in with kids oh subscribed bitch you know i'm 38 trying to make a go of it on youtube that's literally what i'm doing i know but you know i am a corporate guy trying to fit in with kids

another one was that's going straight to the group chat Oh, no. You know that young people say G.C. Yeah, or just chat. They go to the Gold Coast. Yeah. Play volleyball.

Don't do this? Gold Coast. Maybe that's it. That is that it? Gold Coast. So I'm thinking I'm going to make this outfit for Hot Take Tony. Gold Coast. You do one for me and I'll see if it rolls off the tongue.

That new shirt I bought that was controversial, I think I'm going to wear it tomorrow. Oh, Gold Coast. I like that. I like that. G.C. Yeah. What about like Tarpet?

Like we make ourselves a thing. Like, oh, yeah, I reckon that the weather's nice today. Oh, tarpit. Hell yes with sprinkles. Didn't make the cut I see. Yeah, yeah, I know you had a lot. Any others? Printing that out and handing it to strangers.

Or what, just print it or put it on a t-shirt i quite like both of those or because you know the like signs still delivered oh sSD oh delivered weather's nice today oh gospel i like gospel but it sounds too does it sound too much like bible like the kardashians yeah i don't even think they say that anymore i think we should try out gc i don't think that you know what not to pay you out means because every time you go not to pay you out you go but you've got a really messy house but you're a fucking idiot and you don't know where any countries are oh not to pay you out

but you don't know where protein comes from oh not to pay you out but you looked really shit the other day I don't think that you fucking know what not to pay you out means because generally I hate to say this but generally if you say not to pay you out. You don't think you know what no offense means because you seem to be taking so much offense. Oh, no offense doesn't mean don't take offense. That's exactly what means. That's exactly what it means. It means I'm about to be and you're going to pretend like I wasn't. And you're not allowed to be upset about it. Yeah. I don't think you know what that means. You know what? I'm sorry. Thank you.