Toni and Ryan - Beware of Teenagers

Episode Date: March 19, 2025

normal or nah and toilet chat (of course) Love ya xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This episode is brought to you by Audible where you can listen to the new audiobook Sunrise on the Reaping by best-selling author Suzanne Collins. So this is for all the fantasy and hunger games fans because this is about the backstory from Katniss's mentor Haymitch. Katniss, what a badass. Badass. Honestly. We watch those movies so often at home. I feel like they are such a high rotation like Good Watch. Absolutely and this time it's the 50th Hunger Games and there are double the tributes that have to compete, which means it's pretty full on. Yeah, twice as big.

Hamish is torn from his home and the girl he loves and has to enter the deadly arena with little hope of survival, but a deep urge to fight that could change everything. Packed with fantasy, fears challenges, and shocking twists. Yeah, fantasy is massive right now, and this sounds huge. So if you love the ballad of the songbirds and snakes, then get ready for the follow-up in the series,

Sunrise on the Reaping. Discover the joys of listening by downloading Audible and taking it with you anywhere. Sunrise on the Reaping, available now at audible.ca slash sunrise. Hello, welcome to the Tony anding, available now at audible.ca slash sunrise. Hello, welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. I'm Tony, this is Ryan, and we never start an episode without a tarp or approval.

Yep, that's a Tony and Ryan podcast. Now, Erin is in Brandon in Canada. What? Who's Brandon? Like a town. Oh, sorry. Erin, I believe you have a question for us Australians. I need someone to explain the spider situation to me

because people who live here talk about moving somewhere warm all the time. But I heard there's crazy, huge poisonous spiders that you can just find in your house. And that sounds insane. It's definitely a trade off. The good weather you have to risk your life for. Yeah, and that's a trade off we make every day and we're fine with it.

Now, just before we called you, Tony slapped the desk and I thought she was going to knock my computer off. But what were you doing? I was killing a spider just with my bare hands. I'm very tough. She's tough. We've had a really big spider summer at our house. It's been pretty crazy, especially when Mabel's like, oh, like a fun toy. Yeah. We've had a really big spider summer. We have. At our house. It's been pretty crazy, especially when Mabel's like,

oh, like the fun toy. Yeah, what's that? And I'm like, oh no. So there are really spiders, but they don't really kill you that often. Is that a good answer? Oh, but beware, like buy a beware. Yeah, but all good.

Yeah, all good. Yeah, so Erin, does that, have we sold the country to you or are you still not sure? Maybe Canada's still where you at? I don't know. I feel like if I just saw a spider, I'd just walk away. Like that belongs to the spider. And you know what? That's actually just like the number one rule of, yeah, totally just walk away. Don't mess with them. They probably won't mess with you.

Yeah, absolutely. Erin, will you approve today's podcast? I would love to. Yay! Legend. Hey, this is Erin in Brandon in Canada and I approve today's podcast. I'm ready to make someone's day. Love it. Actually, I've got an announcement to make today.

Oh my God, congratulations. Thank you, thank you. You're glowing. If this is our last ever podcast, it's because someone found the recording of what we were just talking about. Oh no, my pussy's not gonna be safe, is it? I don't know that what we were just talking about

is any worse than anything we've ever said on the podcast. I've talked about my vagina before. Yeah. No, but I just, you know, it's a good day to let you know that I've appreciated this run. It's a good day to have a good day. It's a good day to have a good day.

And if anything, like, you know, it's been great. And I just want you to know that listening and you Tony to know that. Why do you think that my puss is cancelable? It's not what the puss itself is what. What the puss is capable of. It was the discussions about that c*** is capable. Oh sorry. Beep that c***.

Sorry you were singing, beep that c***. Alison's from Ontario. Hi Alison from Ontario, Canada, beautiful part of the world. I only eat hot chocolate from the spoon. I only eat hot chocolate. I often don't see other people doing it this way and I feel self-conscious doing it in public but when when I'm by myself, says Alison, and I'm enjoying a nice hot chocolate for a little treat, how delicious. Once I stir it up, that little spoon stays in my hands and I slurp it up.

Am I normal, asks Alison or not? So drinking a hot chocolate like it's soup with a spoon, I guess? Yeah. Oh, I'll give you a normal, I don't do it, but like how good's a fucking hot chocolate? I haven't had a hot chocolate in a while. Since the plane, one of those thickies.

When are we on a plane next? Oh! Tasmania. Do you reckon that the flight's long enough for a hot chocolate? Yeah. They might not even have time to boil the kettle. I'll call in advance. Nah, they will. Nah, fair point. Nah, because we're flying, if we were flying straight into Launceston, probably not, but because we're taking this ho to Hobart. Yeah, putting the ho in Hobart.

Nah, they'll thicken one up. Yeah. Oh, let it, can we, can you tell me how you like- Oh, let's do a vlog. And the vlog is called, getting a hottie in Hobart. And we go and get a hot chocolate in Hobart. And that's the video. Spoiler. First of all, love it. Second of all- I don't know what's the weather though in Hobart.

Yes. It's hot chocolate weather. It is. It's fucking hot in Melbourne at the moment. So I'm looking forward to a hottie in Hobart. Yeah. You're gonna take your togs down to Tassie? Always.

Like, actually so true. What a stupid fucking question. Yeah, no, I'm togging up all the time. I'm always got my bathers. You got to have them. Do you say togs? I've never said togs before. Yeah, why are you saying that?

You've turned into an auntie. Who says togs? Queenslanders. OK, no, that's not me. I've never lived in Queensland. I've been to Brisbane for like six days, but I've never... Look at that count. Six days total, like a four and a two.

Oh, okay. Yeah. So yeah, hot chocolate, yay. Oh shit. Do you want me to turn your light off? My slack is now on mute. I better put mine on. Yeah, thank you. Who's messaging you?

Lily and Sophie both aren't in the office today, so I'm getting messages from them. Well, let them know that you're busy. They've got FOMO, I think. Yeah. I think Sophie and Lily, on days that they're not here, we're recording. Yep. Hey, when someone says like, oh, the other day. Yeah.

What's the timeline with that? Anytime up to five years. Up until, honestly, I think five years. Really? Yeah, especially during COVID. Oh, that was a mishmash of, that was cowboy willing. So I reckon the other day can be back to 2020 right now. Would you say-

Because the time stretches off. Is the other day include pre-COVID? No. So COVID. My mum didn't die the other day. Imagine how casual that would be. Oh yeah, she died the other day. Isabel Barnes is a tarpa.

Hi Isabel. Her boyfriend uses the other day way too liberally according to Isabel. He says it can be months or years ago, which is the same as Tony Lodge. So he gets home from work and goes, oh, the other day I like cut my leg and blah, blah, blah and hurt myself. And he's like, oh my God, are you okay?

How can I help? You know, why didn't you tell me? Why didn't you tell me? Yeah. And he goes, oh, like we weren't even together then. Oh, nah, I think, oh, like we weren't even together then. Oh, nah, I think, new opinion. Maybe the other day can be in that phase of life, but I would never say the other day to you,

as in before we started this podcast, or if it was before I knew you, I wouldn't say the other day. BP, before pod. BP, mine's BR, before Ryan. you, I wouldn't say the other day. BP. Before POT. BP? Mine's BR. Before Ryan. Oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah. It sounds less like a gas station. Well, the other day...

Sorry, I just said BP. Now all I can think about is car washes. Oh! Something fucking crazy happened this morning. Yeah. I went to my local BP, the good one in Eltham. It's fucking sick. Amazing. Congratulations. And I walked in and I'm all like jazzed up because you know, I was slinging away free car washes the other day.

Yeah. And I felt like I owned the joint when I walked in. Yeah, we own shares in BP. Yeah, I'm putting your kids through college, man. Yeah, congratulations. We've been fucking gibbed. They're on, there's a sale on, they're now $11. Oh.

And we sent those people $12 I sent someone 40 they don't need that much and Every fifth one is free. I Love a punch cut Is it a punch cut? I went through a phase where I was punching up all the time and My wallet was thicker than a hot chocolate These water fucking punch cards around. But do you know how they get you out that they go, oh, do you have a loyalty card?

And you go, oh, not on me. And then they give you another one. And then you've got one on five cards and you go, is there a way to consolidate these? I reckon they cop that. Do you reckon they would do that? It's probably depend on how nice you were. If you rocked up and were nice and had two half cards.

Yeah, and you went, oh, anyway. Yeah. But like it got to... Yeah. Yeah, so true. It got to the point where I'd like get my wallet out and like, and this sound is because of the cards, not because of the money in it, but you know, like put it on the bench. And how long ago was it? Was after the was there a shhh?

No, I'm not going to go there. It wasn't a Rip Cal. What a shame. Yeah it is a shame. So then I it looked like I was uh dealing blackjack at the casino. Because you're fucking flicking through your cards like this. Glory jeans was it? Yep Wendery. Yeah yeah because they're location based sometimes. Shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, shhh, I love today. You know how I said the very, very, very vanilla latte is not like just a- You can't just get a latte with a pump of vanilla. It's not the same thing. Apparently it's because the very, very vanilla latte that has vanilla powder and vanilla

syrup. And a pump. Ooh. So it has both and that's why it's like a very, very vanilla latte. I have something to say you know how at the moment we are all barred up for like an iced chai latte or an iced dirty chai. I saw on the on the app when I was doing my food shopping the other day vanilla chai latte sachet. Yes yes. And then now I'm thinking maybe that's what we need to get amongst. Yes. So you got the vanilla. For iced or straight up either.

Who gives a fuck? Yeah, they're both delicious. But an iced is fucking, fucking froths me tooshy up. Yeah, but the thing with the iced is when you have a powder one, you have to really stir it good because- We've got that- Yeah, great, great, great. Because the last thing you want is-

A clump of powder. Yeah. Fucking see you coming. Bye. Yeah. See you later. Oh, this fucks me up. Normal for the other day though.

That's what we were talking about. Should we ask for the dollar back? Oh. We gave people $12 each for a car wash and now it's 11. We are currently barred up for BP. So take this, whatever you want from this. There is a different service station that does a dollar coffee.

So maybe you could- No, we can't cross over. Could you go get a coffee for a dollar and then go get- BP has cheap coffee when you get a car wash. It's not a dollar though. Oh. But they've got a deal going. Do you reckon that if the tarpas we gave $12

to just go into a BP and go, could I just get a car wash and a coffee please? I've only got $12. Just see what they say. Yeah. All you can do is ask. Take it or leave it. Yeah.

Well, heaven forbid they kick in their own fucking two bucks. Yeah. So true. It's still less than 80% of the cost is covered by us. More than 80%. Fuck! I was so close. Greg Sheffield.

No, it's Greg from Sheffield. Mr. Sheffield. Mr. Sheffield. Mr. Sheffield. No, it's Greg from Sheffield. Hahaha. Mr. Sheffield. Mr. Sheffield. She was like an other person. No, no, no, no. Shuffling queens. No, no, no, no.

Teal up boy breaking her out in one of those crushing seeds. What was she to do? Finish it out on her party? Oh, she was an adventure chef in style. She was an excellent cook, a pro at school, and she was such an adventure chef that she became the no-dine. Oh, she was an adventure chef in style. She was an excellent cook, a pro at school, and she was such an adventure chef that she

became the no-dine. Oh, she was an adventure chef in style. She was an excellent cook, a pro at school, and she was such an adventure chef that she became the no-dine. Oh, she was an adventure chef in style. She was an excellent cook, a pro at school, and she was such an adventure chef that she became the no-dine. I'm a The Fosher Girl from Foshing! The Nanny named Fran! So if you're new to the podcast I did a fast version Thank you If you're new to the podcast I've had to start referring to The Babysitter As the babysitter

Because if I, this is going to sound bad Send the N word Then some of them would start Then some of them would start singing No no no no And as soon as that happened, then I was like, oh, fucking here we go. Mr. Sheffield. Charles was not alive for the nanny. He does not know what we're talking about.

Greg, so I've got a Samsung TV. Yeah, a frame. Nice. Yeah, but I don't have the frame. No, that is the frame. No, no, no, but like I don't have the frame. You don't need that though. I know, but then what's like, now I've just got a TV called the frame and it has no frame and it's fucking dumb. Anyway, so you know how like Samsung's got their own like Samsung TV or whatever.

Yeah. There's these built-in channels of just stuff looping around. We have an LG and we have the same. Yeah. Why? There's a Mr. Bean channel. There's a nanny channel Nannel yeah, and every time it comes up I go

Greg from Sheffield My flatmate will sit and eat a tube of toothpaste like it's a fucking lolly Slurping that bitch up like it's a fucking lolly. Slurping that bitch up like it's a delicacy but I think it's fucking disgusting. She argues it's no different to eating mints or chewing gum. She's wrong says Greg. Eating toothpaste from the tube. Normal or nah? No. It's not even a nah, it's a no. Um, you're not supposed to eat toothpaste, like not good for you. Like it's the reason you're not supposed to swallow it.

Why? So I can't clean your insides. But like you're not supposed to swallow toothpaste for a reason. Yeah, but you're told you're not supposed to swallow a lot of things. It doesn't stop you, does it? No one has ever told me not to swallow cum. They do not teach that in schools. Okay, and if people don't want me to swallow it then don't put it in my mouth.

Oh wait, then that toothpaste is the same I guess. Oh, I see. Yeah. But like- Maybe Greg's flatmate has just got a, you know. I- Taste for him. Hate mint.

And like, so brushing my teeth is like that is like the most mint I'll come. So you still have a little bit mint because you went through a phase where you have like the lemon. Yeah so I've done other toothpaste but I just I don't find that there is good. Okay. Like I so I just. It's mint for a reason. Well yeah and like they bring out all these fucking fairy floss toothpaste and your teeth don't feel clean afterwards. You feel like you've eaten candy. Fairy floss, which is the exact opposite of what I want to feel.

Yeah, so it just doesn't ever really give you that clean feeling, but the taste of toothpaste is repulsive and the texture of it, it's like chalky. Yeah. That's fucked. Get some TikTokic tacs and fuck off. Yucko. Greg, tell your roommate that. Mr. Shafran. No.

This word, this name fucks me up. J-A-N-C-K-E. They're from Denmark or Sweden, I believe. Jank? Jank? Jank? Jank? Yeah. Janker. That's probably what I would say. Yeah, I'll go with it. Janker has a normal honor.

Hi, Janker. For people who wear skirts. Are you going to skirt away? I'm wearing a skirt today. Well, please. Is it normal to pull down your skirt to pee? Jankanka says my mom used to hoik hers up like a dress. Mm-hmm. And that's a nah from me. And so I've just been introduced to this,

where I was like, well, there's the thing. Yeah. Where do we stand? Well, I sit down. Thank you. I hoik up because often my t-shirt's tucked in. Ah, yep. So if I hoik down.

You'll just be pissing on the bottom of your shirt. Well, no, then I have to re-tuck my shirt. Ah. Whereas if I just hoik my skirt up, do my weight and then just like pull it back down, re-adjust, then it's all still tucked in. We're all still good on the top half. Well.

Yonker. She was like, my mom's a weirdo, but sorry. Oh no, I pull up. I think you've got to. It makes more sense, especially like in public bathrooms. Yeah, because then you don't have to put your stuff on the floor. Anything that's not touching the floor is a bonus. Yeah, totally agree. Hey, this is Erin from Brandon in Canada and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Let's talk about cream.

Ooh, I love cream. Are we talking like ice cream or like moisturizer? Actually, as a sensitive skin girl, I can do both. I know you can do both. And as much as we love ice cream, I'm currently talking about moisturizer. I'm talking about Aveeno Baby Healthy Start, which for young kids, you can use from day one.

You can use this Healthy Start balm to help moisturize, nourish, and comfort the skin of babies. And when Mabel is older, I want you, Tony, to remind her who moisturized her every night. So when she's got beautiful skin, you'd be like, yep, Dad used to do that for you. Well, I was about to say, you're doing a great job because she high-fived me yesterday

when I came around for dinner and they were the softest hands I've ever felt. You're welcome, Tony. You're welcome, Mabel. Well, we love a routine and we know how important good skin habits are to start early. And with a Veno Baby Healthy Start,

it's easy to moisturise and support baby skin moisture barrier from day one. You can learn more at avino.ca. This episode is brought to you by Majuri. And Majuri has the nicest fine jewelry. It's perfect for stacking and wearing every day. And you can like play around with different styles, mix different colors and metals and stack different combos.

So there's really something for everyone. And can I tell you a cute little personal note? Please. You know these gold earrings that I wear, they're majority. And they were like the first bit of jewelry I ever bought myself. Yeah. Would you say that was the gateway? That was your first like, oh, I think I'm a jewelry person now. Yes, I'm a majority person now. Put that on the front cover of, it's not a book, of this audio ad. The products are beautifully designed and have a minimal but fun vibe, just like Tony, minimal and fun.

Oh my gosh, you're speaking my language. And it's also affordable. Maduri pieces are designed in-house and handcrafted by world renowned jewelers committed to quality craftsmanship, as well as ethical and sustainable jewelry production. Plus in 2020, the brand launched the Maduri Empowerment Fund in support of higher education for underrepresented women and non-binary individuals. So they're doing good while helping us look good.

Epic. Pretty good. Love it. Play, mix and stack in store in app or on maduri.com. I'm asking shout out to a few of our champion top of our Patreon Stephanie Marie good on your step. Amy Wiggles love you Amy. Casey Raven, Jeremy M, Bea, Laura Zuba, and Stacey's mum, in brackets, honest. Like, honestly, I am Stacey's mum. And it sounds like Stacey's mum's got it going on.

If I were to hazard a guess. Do you reckon that song just did unrepairable damage to Stacey and family relations all around? But I just think that I would be like so stoked if I if I was called Stacey and people would be like oh is your mom hot and I'd be like yeah well she was when she was alive yeah but like back in the day because you know yeah yeah yeah yeah because she's dead now yeah died the other day yeah I'm gonna test out some of the other days and just see how it flies I actually did before we started talking about the very vanilla latte, I dropped it

the other day to Torb's the other day and I said to him, oh the other day, oh fuck, six months ago, I blah blah blah. Yeah. And was he? And he like didn't blink an eye. Oh but you corrected yourself though. But like. I think, we didn't actually get it. I think it's like two

weeks. Oh I think I think you could go up to a year. In truth I think that you could. Because it's like one season cycle. The other day, a couple of weeks ago, a couple of months ago, last year. So I said yeah you're right, I went, oh, the other day, oh, fuck, I mean, it was six months ago. Yeah. I did X. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. All right, Tony, let's talk about how beautiful and pristine we are as, you know, professionals in our thirties. Sure. Oh, that is nasty. Some are, yeah. Some have only just entered their thirties. Yeah, we're at a different end of the thirties, but we're bookshelfing 30s.

That is the most beautiful thing you've ever said. What do you think the difference is between you now and when you were say 21, 10 years ago if you had like a bit of a stain on your shirt? I did draw weebicks on my shirt this morning. Is that what you're talking about? Oh, that's not what I'm getting at. Oh talking about? Oh, that's what I'm getting at. Oh, okay. Let me tell you what I'm getting at.

Okay. When I was 21, if I spilt something on my shirt, I'd be like, well, obviously I've got to fucking change. Yeah, got you. I'm at uni and there's a bit of coffee. Oh, like I put a jacket over the top. I've got to hide this. But at 31, you're just like...

Life happens and that's fine. Yeah. Yeah. Where are you at with that kind of thing? Yeah, I think now that you've explained it, I think probably the same because when I was younger, I had way less self-confidence. Yeah. So I would have been like, people are probably going to think and then I'll just stop you right there.

They're not thinking anything. Who cares? I wouldn't have gone like the other people like I'm like, I just don't like that this is on my shirt. Yeah, no, I would be like, oh my God, I bet everyone's looking at me and thinking I'm such a gross bitch. Yeah, right. Whereas now, I mean, I wouldn't put a dirty shirt on, but if something happened to me while I was out,

I'd be like, people are obviously, if they look at that, they're gonna be like, that's happened while you were out. Whereas before, I would be like, oh, do people think I put this shirt on knowing it had coffee on it? And I will obviously not. So I reckon from 20s to 30s, a big change. Absolutely.

But then I reckon the next big one is no kids to kids. Yes. Because if I went out in the spec of something on my shirt when I was 20, absolutely not. Now I went to in the spec of something on my shirt when I was 20, absolutely not. Now, I went to the farmer's market with human shit on my t-shirt. Cause there was a bit of a nappy thing and there was a bit of stuff and it just,

and I was like, oh yeah. And I've had baby vom on some pants before. I don't know about human shit on your clothes. Yeah, like from a baby, not like my shit. No, still. Yeah, but I've got there and I was like, fuck is that cut? And I was like, oh fuck, I think that's actually

just like a baby excrement. And then it lasted about 10 seconds. I was like, oh, you know, parents get it and just pushed on. Is that not? Where did you say you were at the farmer's market? Yeah. It's like food out in the store.

Yeah, but it wasn't like, it was just like- Did it happen at the farmers market? No, but it must have happened earlier that morning and there was just a bit of residue from a change. I don't want to be gross about it, but it wasn't like, and probably, I'd wiped most of it off and there was just a bit of- A smear. A little bit of a smear, a bit of colour there.

What colour was the t-shirt? I would have been white. Oh no. Yeah. Like a dark blue t-shirt, you can't really see it. I'd go, well at least I'm not gonna see it. Or maybe it's like a light grey, but yeah, like enough to know.

Like I saw it and went, oh fuck, I'm pretty sure that's shit. Anyway, other parents get it, maybe, hopefully. It's not about- Back me up, other parents. No, no, no, it's not about me not being a parent. It's probably more just that I might always poo the line. Yeah, I mean there has to be a line and maybe poo's it. And maybe it's just before poo. Where do you stand on a bit of vomit on these jeans?

Well, baby vomit, which is like just milk. I think that even though it looks like cum, I think it's fine. Yeah, looking like cum is more of a concern than the thing itself. Yeah. So, I guess where I'm getting at is I feel like my threshold for shame has just- Not totally. Really, you know. Because if your baby's happy, then you're happy.

Yeah. Like that's your marker of your day is like, Mabes is happy, I'm fine. Yeah. And hey, last night I had a little baby sleep next to me. Yeah, lucky you. Yeah, and how great. Sweet little mouse. How fantastic.

I'll probably hit a wall later on this afternoon after being woken up at 3.30, but I actually enjoyed, I was like, oh, isn't this a bit nice? You know, there'll be times in 20 years where I go, I wish I could just snuggle with a little baby again you know what I mean? Yeah yeah even though that is true you're also allowed to be like whoo could have done without that that's also allowed. I think because I was in a good mood and I like if I had a

really late night like I had an unknown I was just sort of fine yeah maybe on another day not so much but I just was no, I think that's fair as well. Because sometimes things just hit you different. Yeah. And I'm hitting you right. So Mabel's doing potty training, which we've mentioned before. And so we were at the park the other day and every time we go to the park, I've been, if there's no toilets, I've been taking her little, like we've got a potty that just looks like a little toilet. Yeah. It's actually very cute. Yeah and that's and so then I'll like take it to the park because if she goes, oh wheeze, then we go, you're thanks, great idea sweetie. Thanks for letting me know. Yeah. And it, because the last thing I want to do is

be like, no you can't because we're out. What did you call her? So I've taken this um, well you don't want to like regress her. Exactly. So again, because the shame threshold is so low, the thought of carrying a toilet all of a sudden is just I'm carrying a toilet. Yeah. And it's so normal. But again, when I was younger, like it's like when you buy toilet paper and you're just like, Oh my God.

Oh yeah. I still actually, I'm the same. I'm the same. But when it's a baby, I just like, Oh my God. Oh yeah. I still actually, you know, I'm the same. I'm the same. I'm going to have to baby. I'm like, whatever. But do you think it also is that there is like social proof that like this toilet is not for me? Well, here's the thing. So, and this happened. Sorry, we've got a 20 year old child in the room who's like, I am not past the coffee on my shirt stage. Yeah. I thought you said not past the needing a potty stage.

Yeah, Charles, I've got a potty in the back of the car. Yeah. A bit later today. Yeah, now I've got a big day ahead. So a few, this has happened a few times. Yeah. When I'm with Mabel, all good. But often it's like dad will go get the car

and I'll come and pick you guys up. Cause the car parks. Sure. Fairway away and I'll come pick you up at the front gate or parks. Sure. Fair way away and I'll come pick you up at the front gate or whatever. Yeah. And there's been a few times where I've been walking with the potty. Yeah. Without a baby. Back to the car or down to where Bridge and Mabel are. Yeah. Or yeah, I get a call, we're at the park, can you bring the potty down and we're in your way? Yep, no worries guys, I'm on my way. Yeah. And so I did make this joke a few weeks ago when I was at the

festival, we were at a festival in Dalesford and I was walking and a few of my mates saw me walking around the lake and I was holding the potty. And you had the potty. And I was like, I write everything I write mate. And I went, ha, IBS you know. Yeah, when you gotta go. You never know what that's gonna hit ya. Great response. Yeah. Great laugh. Hilarious. People in the water laughing. And cause they're your friends. Yes. It's like when youious. People in the water laughing. And because they're your friends, it's like when you fall over in public with no one else with you and you just want to laugh. Exactly. And actually there are other people around that we didn't know and it was like I told Gary, hey ask this and then I'll answer like this because I'll just fucking lay down this punchline and

everyone's like what a good fucker. Let me floor you all. Yeah. Yeah. So I've kind of got, oh well that was great. Yeah. And because Gary's an adult and other adults are like, we get it. Yeah. But you know who I hadn't considered? Who were the most terrifying group of people in the world? Teenagers. Youths.

Teenagers. Oh my God, I'm gonna be sick on your shirt and then you can wear it to the farmer's market later. I'm walking by myself with a potty and it wasn't even an older teenager. I reckon this guy was like 13, like 12. They need to fucking get it together. They're too confident these kids. Bullying is important. Honestly, as someone who grew up with the fucking three older

siblings that fucking destroyed me, it has built my character. I respect my elders. And you have to build your self-esteem up from the ground. Yes, many times. Where these kids, they're just way too confident. Oh shit. Yeah. Fucking hell.

And I saw them and I was like, fuck. Did you start to cry? No, I saw them coming and I was like. Did you think about throwing the potty into the bush? Did like did you think about going like ditch the potty and did you think about stopping calling it a potty? Yeah, yeah, it got me shit up. So the thing with adults in your in your 30s is like IBS chat, saw tummies, who's allergic to what, very normal conversation.

But also other adults go, you've got a kid. Yeah, but a 12 year old isn't going to cop an IBS. Is that your pink toilet? You know, is that what they said? Sort of, one of them said that. Now one of them goes, Norse toilet mate. That's good from them. Now one of them goes Norse toilet, mate And then his mate goes shit much

And I was like, well I actually do a fair bit it's not mine but I do answer your question I actually do shit much so And thanks to your friend for the compliment he's actually a nice one fucking little punks no it's toilet mate shit much and what do you say to that if I was friends with him I'd be laughing

yeah and I went did you did you what I wanted to crawl into the potty and die. It was so fucking embarrassing. And I will never go. I will never go to Alison Ox Park again. Cause those kids have one over me and I can't show my face there again.

You know on step brothers where they're like, oh, we have to walk the long way home. And he's like he's like we gotta go past Chris Gandocchi and all of his friends and they make him lick white dog shit. And they're like I don't want to walk that way because like the nasty kids hang out there and they make him lick white dog shit. That's fucking brutal. Yeah it's like it's on step brothers so it's like you know no spoilers about fucking 20 20 years ago There was these like when I lived at the end of a loner drive in Altham Yeah, they were like some some mean boys that lived on Volonia Drive and so one time I was playing cricket with them and I hit their ball and went down the drain and

They were you have to get a new ball and I was like I don't have any ball to give you and then so I walked home a different way after that So I didn't want to see those boys, but that's bullies you know that don't bother me cover draft guys oh and you're always saying that yeah don't fucking leave a loose one outside off oh that deserves to go flying down yeah I would have said nice toilet mate to that shit much was there any point where you're like I'm a nice, talented maid. Was there any point where you're like, I'm a really cool guy? Like, did you wanna, you know how it's way worse

if you're trying to defend yourself, but like, did you wanna just be like, I'm actually like pretty, like, I'm hip, I've got TikTok, you know? The more someone tries to convince you The worse it is, yeah. That they're not angry. Yeah, no, I'm all good. Yeah. But like, did you ever

just think about just sitting down and using it in front of them? Like is it ultimately like really leaned in? Yeah. Like your shit much go, yeah, watch this. Do you know what would have been really cool? You should have been like, oh, no, it's actually for my kid. Why do you need it? Babies. Oh, fuck. yeah. That's what you should have done. One thing I thought of much later. In the shower after you're like Because I had like the toilet seat on. Yeah.

And it was empty. Yeah. But just pretending like it wasn't and going to like open the lid and go oh. And if they flinched like that I'd suck a dick. Yeah. I would have, why do you need it baby yeah he's doing diapers how old are you that's you he's like would you have really done that though no no absolutely not can we all the three of us go to Alice Knox Park today yep get the body in the car we're fucking gonna probably be they might be

at school yeah no they will be at school. Maybe I'll have to go on the weekend. I don't know if they go to Eltham High or maybe Eltham Primary. They were cool and young. Yeah, but it was a weekend, so they, you know, no uniform. Yeah. Those little fucking punks. I like that you say punks. That's real cool.

So what's cool with the kids these days? Yeah, Charles, what should we do? Because when you say like you're trying to act cool, it's like, hey, little punks, I'm big on TikTok. You gotta respect me. That's what I mean, I got TikTok. Or they gotta go, what, dad talk? Shit talk with your toilet.

That is funny. That is funny. Maybe I'm on the other side of bit of a little bit of a Tapa Angela said their workplace has puppy yoga. Oh my God, those little dushens. So the workplace is trying to, you know, keep the culture up and keep everyone good and wellness and whatnot. And she said, I didn't get much yoga done,

but I got lots of puppy kisses and cuddles instead. Therapy for the soul. Should we introduce that here? Yes. I think so. Puppy yoga. What about Pippi yoga? And I just bring Pippa in and we can all do yoga. That's fun. She has a good downward dog. That's so funny. It's so cute. I have done like at home workouts and Pippa like, cause then I'm on the floor and she just like walks over my face and she's like licking me and stuff. So you really can't get a lot done, but it's cute.

It is fucking cute. Can I give a recommendation? Yes. Sorry, this is fucking- A double barrel. Parenting podcast. No, I love it. And we gave Poppy for her birthday, she's just turned three. Yeah.

It's like toddler yoga. And it's just basically these big cards. And so you pull a card out of the deck and it's just like a very simple pose. Yeah. But seeing like three or four toddlers like, all right, we're all doing this one now. And cause like that would feel so good to like stretch, cause you know when you do like a good pose in yoga, like stretch the back of your legs out or whatever, that's so cute. Oh, but even just them.

Just for fun. They like to have a something to do. Like, okay, you got to put your leg here and get this up here, you try. Yeah. And just seeing them all lined up, having a crack. It's like so much fun for everyone, but like it's the cutest fucking thing. And then I think Poppy's got a little yoga mat. That is so sweet. Yeah. 10 out of 10 recommend. Great gift. Cute. I've got to love to see it here. And it's, um, it's a tweet from George Takei.

I don't know if you know who George Takei is. He's like an actor from Star Trek. Is it Prince? Takai maybe? Yeah. Maybe. Yeah. But anyway, he's like, he's an older gentleman now.

Yeah. But he posted this tweet and I was like, you fucking love to see this. When I turned 70, I thought, well, that's it. I've had a great career, but it's winding down. But like, oh, I've had an amazing, like 50 fucking years on TV or whatever Yeah, he said boy was I wrong. I found social media and then a second wind in my sales in my 70s

He's massive online. Yeah, I made my Broadway debut at 78 and my London debut at 85 Life is wonderful and magical Doesn't that get you going? And I just saw that and I was like, fuck, like, you're so right. And you know, sometimes those tweets go around and it was like, Oprah didn't get her first show till she was 45 and you know, all of those things to kind of... Yeah, he was just a lowly multimillionaire. No, like, so obviously his is a little bit different. But like, to know that, you know, oh, you can start something at 70. Yeah.

When most people would be like, oh well I'm now 30 and like it's too late for me. There's still time. Whilst I'm really gassed up and pumped about this. Yeah. And I don't want to like yuck anyone's yum. If you want to do something at 70 do it, but I don't want to do it. I don't want to do anything. Nah, but that's fine.

I want, my love to say it is not doing anything when you're old. Okay, well now you've done three love to say it. So I feel like you can fucking write it in. No, but- I'm like, oh, look at you doing so well. Can't I just be retired and not play golf? But also I think that that's fine.

Cause you're choosing that. Cause you go, oh, I worked hard enough to be able to not do anything. Or, you know, I've ticked everything off I wanted to do and I feel super accomplished or whatever. What do you want to do in retirement? See I I Agree with you. I think that when I'm ready to retire, you know, hopefully in my 50s. Oh Hopefully well think about this No, so shut the fuck up

What I think is I ask you question and don't let people answer it think about this. What are you gonna do for the other half of your life? No, so shut the fuck up. My new thing is I ask a question and don't let people answer it. New. So I'm thinking, you know, if I got to retire in my early 50s and think about this, we don't have kids, so it's a little bit different for us because we aren't going to have to pay fucking eight million dollars for school and fucking shit and whatever. Yeah. If I retired in my 50s, I would love to have a break for a few years, but then I think I'd be ready to work again. You'd be ramped up, ready to go. And that's what I reckon has happened that you get to 70 and you go, God, what a great career.

And then you go, oh, I just want something to keep me busy. And then I think you would have a thirst to achieve something again. And you know how your grandma Betty says, if you don't use it, you lose it. Like so you know, keeping active in your brain and doing stuff. She stopped using it.

And by it, I mean her medication and if someone could get that back into her, that'd be great. She can. She listened to that. Thank you. Good to see you grandma. Oh, bless her.

I saw actually that your mom and grandma and all your aunties went to Gimlet for lunch the other day. Did they? It was so fancy. What the fuck? Yeah, it was like a sluts day out. Like your mum, your grandma, everyone. Aunty Linda was there, Aunty Sally.

Not everyone apparently. Yeah, you weren't there. When was that? It was the other day. Was it on Facebook? Yeah. Fuck. Yeah, Grandma Betty shared it and I liked it. I think I hearted it actually. When was that? It was the other day. Was that on Facebook? Yeah. Fuck.

Yeah, Grandma Betty shared it and I liked it. I think I hearted it actually. Yeah. What do I got to do to get an invite to my own family gigs? But I mean, they went to Gimlet. You wouldn't have even been able to afford to go. Unless Grandma Betty was shouting, maybe that's what we're talking about. How good's the pension this takes?

In the show notes, one of us is retiring in our 50s and the other can't afford lunch. Yeah, that's okay. I don't have kids, I don't have potties to buy, et cetera. No, but I think that I would get to 50, 55, 60 or whatever, say I've retired, then I would wanna get back into doing something, because I think after having a bit of time to not do anything for a while, I reckon you'd wanna do stuff again.

So is it not retirement? What do those old people call those things when they have a fucking sabbatical? Oh. It's not really retiring, it's just taking a break. Yeah, sure. So maybe that's the, but you can access your super at whatever age and stuff,

but I feel like maybe you'd wanna, wait, when can you access your super? A fair bit after that. Oh, okay. So I can't retire when I'm 50. Oh, you can't just say retiring and access your super. It's like an age thing. 55. 65.

I think it's 65. It says anywhere between 55 and 60, depending on your year of birth. Well, that would cause your age. Yeah. How old are you? Well, it depends on when you're born. Yeah, thanks, mate. Yeah, that's cause your age. Yeah. How old are you? Well, it depends on when you're born. Yeah, thanks mate.

Yeah, that's the whole thing. Anyway, I thought that was really sweet though. And I feel like we've now gotten into logistics chat about like what I'm gonna do when I'm dead. I'm dying. Oh, dying already. Dying every day. Getting closer and closer.

Tomorrow you'll be one day closer to death. Thank God. No, I take that back. I take that back. I take that back. Back tomorrow though. Yeah. Video show. Yep. Everyone's pretty pumped up about it. Still working. Still working. Adding to that super in the 401k. Yeah. I mean, it depends on what year you were born. Huge news. I actually know what you're going to do post retirement, post sabbatical, because there is an amazing opportunity that I would like to present to you. And actually, I reckon I've already said too much,

but you're going to be gassed up. I hope you stay with the Tony and Ryan podcast after you hear what's available. Oh my God. I've already said too much. All right. Love you, bye. Love you, bye. Can artificial intelligence be a force for good?

At the University of British Columbia, we believe it can. Dr. Raymond Ng and team are using AI to harness crucial data within the healthcare system to help deliver care to patients faster. It's AI that puts our health first. At UBC, our researchers are answering today's most pressing questions. To learn how we're moving the world forward, visit ubc.ca.gov.au