Toni and Ryan - Big Lights Are Cancelled

Episode Date: September 6, 2023

I DEMAND NO MORE BIG LIGHTS!!! Love yaCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Hello. We're calling Bron. Bron? Yeah. Oh, you're a dog. Yeah, a little Bron dog. Oh.

A little Bronson dog. BJ. No, when you find out where Bron works, she's from Sydney, you're actually going to shit. Bron in Sydney. Hello. Bron, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Hi, I'm good. How are you? We are well. Now, can you tell us what team you work in at your workplace and what is the brand you work for?

I work in the marketing team at HelloFresh. Oh, my God. How cool. Oh, my God. So do you get free HelloFresh? Are you allowed to share? Because we're on a roll of asking people what discounts people get at their jobs. Because we spoke to somebody at a meet and greet who works at Mecca and they get like 50%.

Yeah, that's crazy. I can confirm it's more than that. Oh, my God. So your groceries every week are like $0. We need to start working in marketing at HelloFresh. That's where it's at. Yeah. Paying full price for groceries

Like an asshole I know Alright Well Bron do you approve today's episode? Of course Woohoo Legend Hey this is Bron from Sydney

And I approve this podcast Yeah All right, coming up today, as I look down onto our shared Google Drive, Tony has written down Cool Fun Tony. Yeah, self-proclaimed. You know when someone gives themselves a nickname and you go, G'day, rock star. Yeah, that-proclaimed. You know when someone gives themselves a nickname and you go, G'day, Rockstar. Yeah, that guy, yeah. Ryan went to school with a guy who said that he wasn't at luck,

you can call me Rockstar. And everyone's like, no. And everyone's like, no, you're all right, John. He didn't go to my school. He went to a few schools over, and that's how it travelled that far that this guy was such a fuckhead. I'm pretty sure his brother played AFL, and so he just assumed that he would play AFL.

And everyone's like, you can if you want to play, but you're not very good at football. But it's also just like you don't need the name to do the thing. No, but he apparently would rock up to the club and just be like, oh, I'll just go for a run, get out of the gym. And they're like, you don't go here. This is the Hawthorne Football Club. Wear a professional outfit.

You can't just come in. Instead of training. Yeah. So Rockstar, why don't you fucking figure out what your first name is and go back to school? Figure out your first name. Isn't it funny when you think about those high school rumors? Like everyone hear the one about like the girl that put the test tube

in her vagina in science class and it cracked and then they had to pull it out. Yeah. I thought that genuinely happened at my school and I remember telling someone like, yeah, no, everyone has heard that. Everyone says that. I was like, oh, yeah. I thought that genuinely happened at my school, and I remember telling someone, like, yeah, no, everyone has heard that. Everyone says that happened at my school. I was like, oh, okay. All right, next week on the show, can we just- You will never guess what happened in science. Can we just do high school rumors?

Oh, that's good. And I don't actually even give a fuck if it happens. Oh, I've got a good one. Write it down, producer. I've got. Yeah. Okay. Let's do normal or nah first, though.

People submit these to the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. And let's start with Stacey. Stacey asked normal or nah. Washing your towel after every use. I didn't know until I was a full grown adult that some people use their towels multiple times before washing it. I refuse to use a towel more than once because I'm not gross, says Stacey. Nah. I didn't know that there were people that only used their towel once.

I'm guessing that Stacey didn't grow up where we grew up because you grew up in Perth. Yeah. I grew up in Melbourne and we had fucking water restrictions. Do you remember? Do you remember water restrictions? Yeah, and you could only water your garden once a week. Yeah. I grew up in Melbourne and we had fucking water restrictions. Do you remember? Do you remember water restrictions? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you could only water your garden once a week and stuff.

Yeah, and all this stuff. And, like, the thought of putting the washing machine on every day for a fucking towel. For one towel. Mate, you'd drain the city dry. Also, do you know what I don't really get? Sorry that my voice went really high. Yeah, stay up there.

I'll join you up there, mate. Yeah, okay. You're clean when you use it. That's the thing that, yeah, you don't towel yourself off, then go wash yourself in the shower. You get out clean. You're squeaky clean. Are you using soap?

Body wash? A bit of scrub? You're clean. Sorry, I can't get my voice back down. Maybe that's just where you live up there now. That's where I bought a house. It's up there. Yeah, you're, like, clean when you use it.

So I'm kind of like, oh, you can at least do a couple. You can at least get a couple of days. I think it also depends on, like, the ventilation in your bathroom. Like, if your towel dries properly because because like i've lived in our house actually at the moment is like a bit sweaty well because we um it's internal there's no window yeah like we're in a an apartment and you can't it's the most fucking annoying thing she's about she's just bought a house she's about to move out of the apartment. That's all the truths are coming to the surface. Yeah, literally. Like everything is fucking coming to the surface.

The light and the fan are connected. So you can't leave one on without the other. That's annoying. That sucks. Yeah, so I can't just like leave the fan on in there. Intentional pun? A fan blows. But that's okay.

Doesn't that suck? Would it? Exhaust fan. Oh, it's an exhaust fan. it suck? Would it? Exhaust fan. Oh, it's an exhaust fan. Sorry. Don't question the puns. Sorry, sorry. But so you can't just leave it on all the time.

Otherwise, the light's on all the time and, like, I shower at night. So what am I going to do, like, leave that fucking burning all night? I'll tell you something we've got in our house that just, it's like the small things that do it for you. Oh, is it? In Beyonce's Airbnb. So in the bathroom, there's, like, the- In your en suite? Both. Oh. house that just it's like the small things that get the door for you in our in beyonce's airbnb so in the bathroom there's like in your ensuite both oh there's like the main big light and then there's a small like sconce like a small one cancel big lights please actually cancel big lights

get all your big lights and throw them in the fucking bin couldn't agree more big lights should be actually illegal. They actually should be. They're fucking revolting. So imagine this. The middle of the night, you need to go pee. Yeah. You can just put the little cute light on so you can see where you're going.

Yeah. But it doesn't fully wake you up. Yeah. And then you go to your place and the full light has a fucking fan. Yes. Oh, everyone. Yeah. It's 4 a.m.

Tony's taking his shit. Literally. It's so heartbreaking. Anyway, so yeah, our towels stay really wet. I forgot that's what we were talking about. Yeah, so the towels stay quite wet, which is a real fucking pain in the ass. You don't have to wash them every time. Surely not. What a waste of water. I'm an environmental girl. Yeah, so the towels stay quite wet, which is a real fucking pain in the ass. You don't have to wash them every time. Surely not.

What a waste of water. I'm an environmental girl. Yeah, exactly. How long, like probably the longest that you've... Oh, don't ask me because I'm real rank. We're all going to say the longest we've done. All right. Including when you're in...

No, like before you've washed the towel. Yeah. Oh. Yeah. And. Yeah. And you have to include, I'll include my college days if you include your share house days. Oh. Oh, okay.

Well, it's probably still there. Someone else probably started using it after I left. Three, two, one. Marwis. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I think we all said that. No follow-up questions. Yeah, yeah.

Okay, cool. Fuck. Shaina asks, normal or nah? Hi, Shaina. Yeah, okay. Yeah, I think we all said that. No follow-up questions. Yeah, yeah, okay, cool. Fuck. Shayna asks, normal or nah? Hi, Shayna. Shayna Blaze. It is Shayna Blaze. I hope it's not for her sake. Flossing your teeth with strands of your own hair.

My mum will, in public, says Shayna, grab a few strands of her hair, then shove them in her mouth to get the last bits of food out of her teeth while we're in a cafe or a restaurant. I think it's foul, and when she does it, I want to curl up and die. That's a big fat nah. Is my mum normal, or should she get a toothpick or floss and stop being a fucking dickhead? Fucking nah.

That's fucked. I actually even think that if she had a floss pick, like, you know, you can get those, like, floss pick things. Even if she had one of those, doing that in public is fucking revolting. Yeah. Yep. Like, you know when you're flossing and, like, bits, like,

fly out of your mouth? Like. So Liam, he, I don't even know if he was doing, like, Invisalign or had something, but he had, like, he would get, like, a toothpick and I think he said he saw someone else do it in something, but he had like, he would get like a toothpick and he said, I think he said he saw someone else do it in this and he was like, yeah, like cover his mouth, but still be like hacking at it in a restaurant. And I was like, what are you doing? It's not better.

You're still doing it. It's still gross. Yeah. Like, yeah, the floss toothpick hair thing obviously is fucked. But I think doing it, regardless of whether you have the right equipment, I think you can't be doing that in public. It's fucked. It's fucked.

I just, like, do you know something that I fucking really hate when people do? When they go. Do I do that? Yeah. No, I'm really confident. Both of you do it. And it's like that little whistle sound, like.

And one side of your mouth opens up like. When does it happen? Like if we've been eating or whatever. It's like it's fine, but it's one of those things that people do it and I'm just like. Yeah. I'm really self-conscious. No, no, no.

I'm never going to be able to breathe out of my face again. No, no, no. You never do it like when we're recording. It's like if we've just eaten or something. Or actually, no, you only do it if you've had seeds. Oh, because I'm like mucking out my teeth. Yeah, because they're like in your teeth. And I get it.

Like it's fucking annoying. I also, I pick food out of my teeth. It's like disgusting. Yeah. I'm not saying that I'm like perfect, but it's like the sound. I didn't think you were, mate. When you hear people go like, like you hear the sound like that. Yeah, it's because. Melissa asks, normal or nah? But the sound when you hear people go like, like you hear the sound like that.

Yeah, it's because. Melissa asks, normal or nah? And this one's got a bit of like hashtag girl math energy. Have you seen that? Shout out to their CEO, Hayley at ZM. Yeah. When shopping online, I put heaps of things I'm not going to buy or not going to keep into the cart. When I take three things out of the cart, boom,

look at all the money I'm saving. Discount. Yes. I was going to spend all this. Now I'm only spending this. I'm saving money. Then when something turns up, I'll make a few returns, right? So I don't keep it all.

You try it on. Oh, try it on. It's not right. Yeah, send it back. And then the refunds start hitting. So the first time when I took stuff out of the cart, I was saving money. Yeah. But then when the refunds hit,. So the first time when I took stuff out of the cart, I was saving money. Yeah. But then when the refunds hit, now I'm making money.

Yep. Is this normal behaviour, ask Mel, or nah? Okay, I've got a two-part answer. Normal for the discounts, like adding heaps of stuff and then taking it off and going, ooh, like now it's so much cheaper than it was. Yeah. But the refund thing, nah, because i'm so fucking lazy i've never returned

anything that didn't fit if someone wants a part-time job or cost a living you know want some extra cash there is thousands of dollars of unworn clothes just sitting in a basket at tony's house all you need to do is send it back yeah and you can have half would you give them half you could just have all of it because at the moment it's making me nothing yeah so it's not costing you anything no i just i just fucking go oh i've got to return that and then i just forget and then i look at it and i go well it's been 60 days and i'm not going to be able to return that yeah you know how like depop is like a big thing now people like resell their clothes i just couldn't be fucked with that i mean so someone i don't know if you saw this message someone who is a tarper, they were sort of struggling

for some cash and found themselves in a tough spot. So now they've started up this little business where they'll sell rich people's stuff on consignment. Oh, yep. So if you got, this lady got this really nice bag she doesn't ever use. If you sell it and I'll keep her. And she just doesn't.

Yeah, none of my stuff's nice though. But she was doing like furniture. Oh, that's cool. She was doing rugs. But then she was doing smaller bits and pieces. And she's like, yeah Yeah, none of my stuff's nice though. But she was doing like furniture. Oh, that's cool. She was doing rugs. But then she was doing smaller bits and pieces. And she's like, yeah, because a lot of people exactly like you. Just can't be, yeah. She's like, she's making a killing from people that can't be fucked.

And I was like, have you met Tony? Yeah, literally. You could have everything that I have and sell it and make money. Do you know, what's that statistic? And I don't know it. and make money. Do you know, what's that statistic? And I don't know it, but it's like that every person has like thousands of dollars worth of stuff in their house that they don't use.

$1,500. Is it $1,500? Yep. And you know how they say like, yeah, if every couple of months you went through your house and like sold on Facebook Marketplace or Depop, whatever, that, yeah, there's like always a lot of money's worth of stuff sitting in your house that you're not using. We got sold a lemon on Facebook Marketplace the other day.

What was it? The nappies? Yeah. What was wrong with them? You drive all that way for those. I know. Turns out Boronia and Bayswater aren't the same place. Not the same.

They, you know. Just like not good quality or? Near new. As good as new. Not quite though. Did you see that when you picked them up or were they in a big bag or something? No, I didn't notice until we got home. Because obviously you put them in through the washing machine.

Yeah. But there's white and then there's like. Nah. Not quite white. There's like probably would have been white at some stage. Oh, that's fucked. Did you message him or did you just cop it? No, we kind of went, well, because we thought we were getting a bargain.

Yeah. And I mean, the price was right. Yeah, yeah. If only you'd known the price of the luggage. So Tony is on a mission to quote the castle as often as possible, as you can tell. But, you know, we got done with secondhand quotes. Oh, I'm really sorry about that.

Have you considered contacting the ACCC? That's very funny. That's pretty funny. I haven't, but now that you mentioned it. I would. Consumer affairs. I think they're still busy. The ACCC are the most useless department in this country.

Oh! Because... Call the ACCC about that claim. That's what I'd say. So they're in charge of petrol prices. No, they're not. Yeah. No, they're not.

And every year... Surely that would be like market demand. That's not someone deciding how much it costs. Then how does the market... No, because market can't dictate it by... anyway, they claimed they were keeping their eye on petrol prices and 15 years later, well, what have they done? I mean, keeping your eye – I've been keeping an eye on my weight for a while and I'm still going up.

You know what I mean? Like, I don't think they're actively going to do something to – Hey, this is Bron from Sydney and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion-tapions from the Patreon. Yep. Ben Ralph. Fucking love to see it, Ben. Thanks, Ralphie.

Courtney McRae. McRae. Toby Gant. Gant-er. Lisa Ward. Wardo. And Tiki Nikki, the elitist gay. Elitist gay.

Thank you so much. Self-proclaimed or is that just a bit of editorial from Tony? No, that's in brackets of the title of the. Oh, nickname. Yeah, nickname. Yes. Yeah, Tiki nickname of the... Oh, nickname. Yeah, nickname. Yes, yeah, ticky nickname. Tick name, nickname. Big announcement coming on Monday, by the way.

Huge announcement. Huge. Is elitist gay something you can call yourself? I mean... I thought that would be more of someone's putting you down, so they would call you that. But maybe it's like taking it back. You know, when you reclaim someone calling you something horrible

and you're like, yeah, well, I am elitist gay and I'll write it down. Well, that's what an elitist gay would do, I suppose. Exactly. Yeah, it's actually on brand. Yeah, if I had to imagine what that would be like, then yes. Now, I'd like everyone to get a pen and paper and write down some notes because Cool Fun Tony is about to explain

how she's cool and fun. So I have to, cannot stress enough that this is pre-COVID, Tony. Pre-fifth COVID. Pre-85th COVID that I've had. Are you saying that since COVID you're back to being, what's the opposite of cool and fun? Dull and bland, Tony? Hot, bland, Tony.

But like, so a couple of weeks ago, obviously I was like, oh, tell that story. And then I got COVID and then I'm like, no, I can still tell the story. No, I'm fine. I was in this nightclub earlier this morning. Yeah. I was out drinking with my friends. That's why.

But a couple of weeks ago, Torbs and I went out for, it was the weekend that we went out for pub lunch. For the Sunday roast. Sunday roast. It was a while ago. Yeah, it was a little while ago. I'm really dining out on this is for the Sunday roast. Sunday roast. This was a while ago. Yeah, it was a little while ago. I'm really dining out on this story, no pun intended. Is Cool Fun Tony, was it a phase or was it supposed to be from here on out?

I think it was just shocking and I thought I'd have to share that. Okay. I guess I would, my mum always used to say, not stay, obviously she's gone, but my mum always used to say. Stay a lot? Yeah. We my mum always used to say. Stay a lot. We all did. The BGs. The RIPGs.

So my mum always used to say, start as you mean to go on. So I guess that everything is an opportunity to continue doing what you're doing. Give me an example. So like if you start something, like you start really hot, like start as you mean to go on. Don't just do something and then go, oh, like. I'm not going to keep doing it anyway.

I'm not going to keep doing it or like do a shitty job and then you go, oh, is that really how I want to keep moving forward with that thing? Right. So it's like. So if you're going to become cool, fun Tony, you need to start cool and fun because you're going to keep being cool and fun. Yeah, or like if you start hot, you go, yep, that's how I'm going to keep living my life.

So I thought, you know, if I do this, maybe it'll be the beginning of something new. We went to the pub for lunch. We had this beautiful big roast and I was there with my family. And then Torbs and I got home. I took all my makeup off like as soon as I walked in the house. Took it all off. Brow off.

Brow off. Like literally got into my nightie and took all my makeup off, like exfoliated my face, like put like a little moisturizer on, sat on the couch, fucking bliss. I'm like my tummy's full. I've just eaten this big pile of lunch. How fucking good. I've had a lemon lime and bitters in the sun.

Really my areas. And then I've just eaten this big pile of lunch. How fucking good. I've had a lemon, lime and bitters in the sun. Really my areas. Talk to me. And then I've gotten home, my face is all clean, and I'm fucking feeling delightful. Yep. I'm on the couch. I'm playing my Sudoku on my phone, and I get this FaceTime call. FaceTime call?

Yep, from my friend Rachel, the artist, Sarah, sorry, who lives in Brisbane, and she was just down for the weekend. So you guys are FaceTiming it. Okay, even with people you know. Yeah. I feel like you need to text and go, hey, are you free? Do you want to FaceTime? You can't just like fucking.

You can't raw dog a FaceTime. Are we agreeing on that? Well, so she was, I think there's like special dispensation because she was out with like two friends. And so she was like, come out. So I don't think that she had the capacity to have decided or been like. Are you saying when you say didn't have the capacity, are you saying she was?

Oh, no, she wasn't drunk. But I think it was just like, I think it was just like, oh, my God, let's ring Tony and see if she wants to come. And she calls you and you make up off watching Sudoku. Make up off. Watching Sudoku and playing Sudoku on the couch. Playing Sudoku on the couch. Where are you at?

You know, you could just call a friend on a Saturday night and be like, which bar are you at? Yeah. See, this was Sunday afternoon. Oh, Sarah slash Rachel's got to fucking calm down. I know. So I was like, no fucking way. And I'm on FaceTime and she's like, oh, my God, we're in Carlton.

Which bar are you at? Yeah. Oh, I'm like, Torbs, make noise. And he's like, yeah, popcorn. Rib out, rib out, rib out, rib out. Yeah, champagne, pop. And she's like, we're in Carlton. You're in Richmond.

We'll swing by and we'll grab you because we're going to South Yarra after this. We're going to Pram. It's on the way. Yep. And I was like, nah, obviously not. Obviously not. And then so I'm like holding the phone like this on FaceTime and basically you're like where Torbs was behind the phone.

He's like, you should go. And I was like, are you fucking joking? Like fucking whose side are you on? Yeah. You know what I mean? You're supposed to be my partner. He's trying to get rid of you so he can have some Nando's. Yeah, so I'm like, are you getting some sweet honey around and fucking.

Yeah, he's got to deal with Sarah. Yeah, he's. Any time he wants to hang out with his side hoe, he flies her down from Brisbane. Flies her down. Yeah, that must be why. Get her out of the house. Anyway, and so I'm on FaceTime like this and he's behind the phone going, you should go. And I'm like, guys, I don't think I'll make it.

And he's like, you should go. And I'm like, yeah. Like I just got home. I was out before. I'm like, take my makeup off. I'm like now playing Stoke on the couch. And they're like, no, you should come. It just occurred to me that Rachel slash Sarah goes out in Melbourne more often

than you go out in Melbourne. Yeah. And she lives in Brisbane and you live here. Yes. And every time she is here, she's like, you should come. And I'm like, okay. And you got dragged. Did you do it?

So I put my makeup back on. Young fun, Tony. I put my bra back on. Young fun, Tony. I like put on an outfit. Going out top. Yeah. It was jeans and a nice top.

It was. Yeah. Jeans and a nice top is coming back. And it never went. Never went anywhere. I think. And I went back out again. And so they're like, and I was like, oh, you're just going to Uber here.

Do you want me to just Uber and meet you at the next location rather than you kind of coming here? And she was like, no, no, no. One of the guys that was there, Daniel, she's like, Daniel's driving. So we'll swing by and pick you up. Like, what's your address? So I sent them the address. And they're like, yeah, we're in Carlton. We're just going to like pay the bill.

Like we'll leave here in five minutes. And then so from Carlton to my house, what do you reckon that would be? Like 10 minutes? 10 minutes, yeah. And it's a Sunday Arvo. So I was like, yeah, there's not a lot of traffic. I reckon that'd be fine. Although if there's football, the MCG.

Oh, true. But I was like, oh, I's not a lot of traffic. I reckon that'd be fine. Although, if there's football, the MCG. Oh, true. But I was like, oh, I reckon it'll take you about 15 minutes. If you're organising the bill, get to the car, fuck around, 15, 20 minutes. So I put my- It's gone from just 10, yeah, just 15, yeah, 20 minutes. So I'm like, all right, yep. And then I messaged my address and I was like, how long do you reckon you'll be? And she's like, we are walking to the car now.

So I'm like, cool, I reckon 15. Let's call it 15. I'm like quickly like I'm putting my makeup back on. I'm like organising myself, getting my shit together and going, why have I fucking agreed to do this? Why have I agreed to do this? And then Tom's like, you're going to have fun. And I was like, oh, I'm full of roast.

I just want to go to bed. And anyway. Fun sucks. like you're gonna have fun i was like oh i'm full of roast i just want to go to bed and um anyway fun sucks yeah fun does suck people reckon it's awesome it's not should we make t-shirts that say fun sucks on them yes because it's accurate fun does suck anyway and then um i was like to torbs i was like yep cool all right well i'm ready to go so i'm just gonna head downstairs and he was like yeah he's like what aren't they aren't they'm ready to go, so I'm just going to head downstairs. And he was like, what? Aren't they like walking to the car now? They're in Carlton?

And I was like, yeah. And I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, but like they'll be here soon, so I'll just go downstairs. And he goes, well, they're probably like 15 minutes away. And I was like, no, no, no, no, that's okay. And I waited downstairs for like 15 minutes, like on the side of the road. And I've realised now that one of my toxic traits is that I wait downstairs for ages. Because the other day.

You do wait downstairs for ages. Producer Cam goes, we'll text you when we're leaving work to come pick you up. Yeah. Sorry, the COVID. Oh, excuse us. Sorry, everyone. Cam goes, we'll come and pick you you up i'll text you when we're leaving the office and i was like yeah okay and then i went downstairs and then he calls me and he goes um we're just leaving the office i was like yeah i'm already outside why because i just feel rude like not doing that so at the start of the tony

and ryan relationship yeah we didn't really know each other yeah i so i now know that it's like tony i'll pick you up at nine yeah and so i will try to get there at nine tony knows that that means probably like five past nine yeah uh at first though i would be like cool i'll come around after lunch yeah or or i'll be there around 10 or something i and the one time that we kind of didn't have a brouhaha where I came to know what Tony required is I said, I'll be at your house to pick you up between 9 and 10. Yeah.

And you were like, cool, I'll be waiting outside from 8.45. Yep. And I was like, no, no, no, you stay in your house and I will come between 9 and 10 and when I'm downstairs, I'll be like, hey, I'm here. And you're like, no. I need a time. If it's sometime between 9 and 10, I'll be down there at 8.45 waiting for you.

Yep, because in case you're early, I don't want you to have to wait. And you do this annoying thing that if you are early, you text me and you go, yeah, I'll wait. And then I go. You'll only do that to you because you're the only one who would get fucked off about it. But the thought that even when I'm like telling you and you're still like, but what if? Yeah.

And I'm like, but that I'm actually telling you. Because I think the difference for me is like I'm either sitting upstairs, like you know when you're ready and you're sitting upstairs like this? Yeah. Because you're ready. Well, no, you don't know. But. Chatting to Torbs, playing on your phone watching something on tv like oh they'll be around soon yeah cool i'm over whenever you're ready yeah no i'm just like not that chill it's the same

when i'm like ordering an uber well this sounds like the opposite of cool fun tony yeah no i know and that's how that's so that's how i've stayed inside. It wasn't COVID. I just decided to stay inside. But I realise I do the same when I'm ordering an Uber. I'll go like, oh, yep, cool, just better head downstairs and talk to them. Oh, are they on their way? I'm like, no, I haven't ordered it yet. Because sometimes they're only a minute away. And then you go, cool, I'll just come down.

But, like, they hate that, don't they? So my cousin Rach came over last weekend. Yep. Just got married. Just got married. And Mabel and I have been spending a my cousin Rach came over last weekend. Yep. Just got married. Just got married. And Mabel and I have been spending a lot of time out in the backyard. Beautiful. And she goes, oh, I'm out in the Yarra Valley on my way back home.

Should I drop in? Oh, that's nice. And she goes, yeah. I like a drop in. Yeah. And so she goes, yeah, I'm coming back from the Yarra Valley. No idea when I'll be coming through. And I go, yeah, cool. Me and Mabel are hanging out in the backyard a lot.

So I'll just leave the door open. You just come through. I actually just almost threw up. Yep. And so at one end, there's a, I don't know when I'm coming. And on the other end, I'm like, yeah, all good. I'll just leave a door open and be out the back and leave the house, whatever. And Rach and I were both totally fine with that combination of circumstances and then

i was explaining it to someone else i was like yeah she said to come around whenever and i said yeah just come in when you're here yeah and they were like vomiting i just i think that is a little bit different because you didn't have to do anything to get ready for her to come over and she didn't have to do anything but if i said I'm coming around today and you go, what time? And I go, I don't know. You'd just be sitting there like not panicked but just like, oh, what do I, but if I do this, if I go to the bathroom. Yeah, see, that's what I'd be stressed about.

It's like, oh, it's like when you have a rent inspection and you're sitting around all day just cacking it, being like, are they about to come? Oh, if I do a poo, I don't want it to smell when they come in. Oh, I'm going to check the door for it. Yeah, and you go, oh, that's locked. So you're sitting there. Someone's over and they're using it.

And you haven't pooed for a week. Yeah, because you're just sitting there like this, like straight up. Like you're just like. And then as they move through the house, you move into like a different room. Yeah. And it's just the most uncomfortable thing ever. So are you on the record as saying, it's cool, fun, Tony, over? I think it's over before it began.

I really was so proud of myself. And then I'm standing on the side of the road for like 15 minutes. I'm like, I could have been upstairs. And then I was like, I do this all the time. I just try and have fun so much that I fuck it up. No, no, that is not, no, no. I'm actually not going fun so much that I fuck it up. No, no. That is not. No, no. I'm actually not going to let that fly.

That's fair. I'm so fun and carefree. No, I said I try so hard. I force the fun and then I fuck it up. Is this one of those like how do we like drill in this learning? Do we organize a few things for you to get picked up and you're not allowed to come down until they arrive? Just to like kind of, you know what I mean?

But that just feels so rude. To who? Well, because especially at my house because I live like on a busy road so there's not really anywhere to like stop and wait. Yeah. Well, there is because you just go into that little driveway bit or the drop-off pick-up. The literal thing is called the pick-up zone at the front.

What do you think that's for? For me to wait at. I've got a really quickie love to see here. It's from Shonny. Hi, Shonny. She just sent me a DM and said, hey, Ryan, it's Shonny. I am the sister of Ian. Are you fucking kidding me? Really?

A sibling of a famous tarpa. Oh, my God. I wanted to give a shout out to my brother and OG tarpa, Ian, because he's just gotten engaged to his now fiancée, Loz. Congratulations. Tony just clapped. Tony clapped. I did clap.

She clapped. Two little ones. Yep. So congratulations to Ian and Loz, who will be getting married at some stage, but they're now engaged. And Ian, are you fucking kidding me? As much as he's one of the great contributors to the type community, he's also a humble man who doesn't like to speak about himself. So, Shani's like, he would never, like, put his own hand up and be like,

oh, I got engaged. So, Shani's jumped in and said, well, I'll embarrass him for him. That's really sweet, though. Oh, congrats, Ian. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. Oh. Thought you'd tell us before you told your sister. Yeah, that. So congratulate. Oh, congrats, Ian. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah. Oh. Thought you'd tell us before you told your sister.

Yeah, that's fucking rude. That's Ian-fucking-rude, actually. Ding me. Yeah. But no, congrats. Oh, I love that. And thanks, Johnny, for sending that through. Yeah, that is very sweet.

That's really nice for a sister. Yep. Sisters and brothers are like, cats and dogs are fighting all the time. That's really nice. Are they? You don't have any siblings, you wouldn't know. I might, I just don't know them. Anyway, my love to see it.

Hey, you're going to be hanging out with my half-brother, Cole. I am. I'm really excited, actually, because he's a bit of a hottie, didn't you say? A married hottie. Are you just saying he's a hottie because he looks like his brother yeah very funny you probably meet his lovely wife yeah i can't wait i can't wait don't know wink oh sorry i didn't did you listen to the podcast no i'm just kidding um anyway um hannah Just kidding. Anyway, Hannah Taylor sent through this. And it just, it really made me laugh.

And I just, okay, sorry. Hannah says, you love to see it. My boyfriend just became a points guy. I never thought I could find him more attractive. And instantly I'm like, oh, Qantas, you know, maybe United Airlines or something, she's attached to the photo and I'm going to show you the photo, Ryan, and I want you to describe what's in the photo. Okay, pass that in.

I'm guessing he has signed up to be at the local supermarket. Yeah, so he's Hannah's boyfriend. The Woolworths Rewards. Hannah's boyfriend. We can fly to the Frozen Isle on these boys. Hannah's boyfriend holding a box of porridge and a Woolworths reward. And he looks really proud of himself. He looks so proud.

I've never seen a man look prouder. And I just saw it. He's looking, holding his points card and porridge like I look when I'm holding my daughter. Literally. Literally. Literally. And he just looked so proud of himself. And it just, because I saw the caption and I was like, oh, what is he up to?

After Hawaii. Oh, you'll have to see that. Thank you, Hannah, for sharing that because that fucking made me piss. You do love to see that. I've thought about that all week, to be honest. Fuck me, that's crazy. Very funny. Tomorrow on the show.

Video show. Oh, no. Cameron and I were almost in a, I wouldn't say a fight in a cafe, but there was tension brewing. What? Brewing. And it was... What happened?

Oh, no. It was potentially like... It was maybe like a fight or flight sort of situation. Between the two of you? Or were you biffing with someone else? No, we were on the same team. We were on the same team. Oh, okay.

But it was one of those like... When the chips were down, you kind of find out what kind of man you are. Oh. Yeah. In a cafe, though, is it the hash browns being down? Because it... breakfast potato. The brewing gag was enough.

The Woolworths rewards card. We'll chat to you tomorrow. Love you, bye.