Toni and Ryan - BIG POPCORN

Episode Date: April 10, 2022

We're talking about conspiracies and BIG POPCORN. Plus your feedback from last week! Love ya! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hi, is that Megan? This is Megan. Hi, Tony. Oh, my God, this is Tony and Ryan. Hello. Oh, my gosh, I'm so excited to talk to you guys. We are more excited to talk to you,

but we really need to know if you can approve this podcast. Please, please, please, please, please. I mean, I can approve Tony, but I don't know if I approve of Ryan. What? All right, well, enjoy the Tony and Tony show. I guess I'll see you guys tomorrow. Hi, this is Megan from St. George, Utah, and I approve this podcast. Here's going up?

Yep. You get a lot of compliments when your hair's done. Have you noticed that in the comments? Yeah, because I look like a fucking dead raccoon when it's not done. But is that one of the great hacks is to let a couple of shit ones through and then when you come in looking good, you're like, you've set a low base, so then you're coming in hot. Yes, and then people are like really pumped. Whereas if you...

If I look good all the time, the bar is like here and then if I look bad, people are like, have you got COVID? Have you not slept for... Are you doing... Is everything okay at home? Yeah. Have you and Torbs broken up? Is something going on?

Hey, welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Can I tell you something really amazing that happened to me this home? Yeah. Have you and Torbs broken up? Is something going on? Hey, welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Can I tell you something really amazing that happened to me this morning? Sure. You know the song Here Comes the Sun? Yeah. Yeah. Here comes the sun. Well, you know when you pull out of my driveway and there's like in the morning the sun is

like coming over that way and you like pull out of my driveway. Does that blind you? Yeah, it does. Yeah. like coming over that way and you like pull out of my driveway. Does that blind you? Yeah, it does. But when that happened this morning, I was pulling out of my driveway and the sun like burst into my eyes and that song started playing on Spotify.

It was actually amazing. Yeah, it was incredible. So it was like blinding and then it was like, here comes the sun. It felt like I was in a movie. So as you announced yourself to the day and the world. The day announced itself back to me. That is nice. It was really beautiful.

When I left my house this morning and announced myself to the day, I was greeted by Tony Lodge who said, get the fuck back inside, we're wearing the same clothes. Yeah, you need to change. One of us is going to have to and you're the one that's still at home. So I've switched out a flannelette jacket for a denim jacket. We were both wearing like a woolly checked shacket. Yes.

And, yeah, I obviously wasn't at my house anymore. I haven't heard the term shacket before. Isn't that what it's called? I mean, it makes sense. I've just never heard that because it's like a thick shirt but a thin jacket, so it's a shacket. It's called a shacket on Cotton On and also General Pants. Really?

Yeah. I used to work at General Pants. Did you? Yeah. I was the least cool person that worked there, as you can probably tell. I don't know about that. I've met some losers at General Pants. I met some really not losers, though.

Yeah. They're always dressed pretty well, even though losers are dressed well. Yeah, that is true. That is true. Like us. Last week on the podcast, we were talking about daylight robbery. Yes. Scams that are in everyday life and the companies pretend they ain't a scam,

but it's time we called them out. Yeah, and we talked about how when you buy, how I love post-mix Coke. Did you see all the comments? I'm like, what is that? In America, it's called fountain pop or fountain Coke or something. Right. So it's like from the dispenser, like the pre-mix Coke that you get from Maccas or whatever.

You can see the soda and the syrup like. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we talked about how you don't want ice in that. And then through the week I saw this TikTok got shared to our Facebook group that went viral from a user slamming a coffee shop for charging a dollar extra if you wanted no ice. So say you order an iced latte. Yep.

An iced coffee. An iced coffee. And then you say, like, oh, can I not get any ice? They actually charge you to, like, fill it to the brim. This fucks me off for two reasons. Yeah. The obvious one is being charged extra. Yep.

The thing that really gets me, though, is this proves that they know. They know that ice is filler. But of course they know. Like, I don't think... Do you want an extra, extra large? It's the same amount of milk and coffee as the small. You've just put more ice in it and it's a bigger cup. So...

Do you get more stuff? We should test this. Me and Tommy Jacket did this at 7-Eleven. See, I was going to bring this up. You made this video and it went viral back in the day of, like, pouring a small coffee into a 7-Eleven medium and a large cup. It's all the same amount. It was the same volume but, like, the widths of the cups are different

so it makes it look like they're a bigger cup. Yeah, the large one is larger in height but it's, like, skinnier. So it's actually the same. So did you end up hearing back from 7-Eleven about that? I know, but I... Because did you tag them in the video and's actually the same. So did you end up hearing back from 7-Eleven about that? I know, but I. Because did you tag them in the video and stuff? They replied. What did they say?

I don't know what it was, but it was like an emoji or something, just enough to like we knew that they'd seen it, you know what I mean? Oh. And then as I was transitioning out of my radio job, there was a social media producer at 7-Eleven, and I said to Bridge, my wife, I was like, oh, I could probably do that because they do some fun stuff on socials and whatever.

And you and I have done a video for them since. Oh, fuck, I forgot about that. And then Bridge is like, do you really think you want to work with those guys that you just roasted and end up being on every TV station? Although we did take their money when we did that ad for them. We did do an ad for them. That's to make up for all the large coffees I've bought over the years.

Yeah, it's our retribution is what it's called. Yeah, I mean, it's a big word to say with confidence, I believe it. Yeah, it's our retribution. But it made me, yeah, I thought about that video. I actually wrote that down because I was like, Ryan did that exact thing. And you, you Karened. You wrote to the manager because you made a video on everything.

That's a lot of effort. Stop that. Well, if you think I was Karen-ing then, just you fucking wait, mate. Oh. Because people were so riled up from last week. There's some more coming through. Oh. Bank fees.

Now, hear this explanation. Some banks waive their fees if you make a minimum deposit each month. Yep. So it's like, yeah, it's $5 a month, but if you deposit $250, you don't pay the fee. Yeah. So if you, when you think about it, if you flip it, what they're basically doing is charging you fees when you don't make a deposit. Yep. Same, same, right? They are making me more poor as a penalty for being poor. I actually, I can't, I don't think I'm on board. Well, you wouldn't be because you're rich as fuck and have a finance team of three. So this is highly unrelatable. So when you think about it, if I'm making money, then I don't get charged. If I stop making money, then they're going to

take more of my money. So this guy says, you're charging me and making me more broke as a penalty for not having a job. Talk about kicking a dog when they're down. But you have to pay fees to, like, use their service. They use our money and charge interest on it when they give other people home loans and invest it elsewhere. But that's just a business, though.

Yeah. Like, businesses make money. Yeah. So I don't know. With my money. Yeah, but, like, the same way that if you bought something from, like, or you paid for it, say you got a cleaner. I'm giving them an interest-free loan with my money.

But, I mean, you make interest on your money depending on, like, what bank account your money's in. Yeah. So, like, you make make interest on your money depending on like what bank account your money's in yeah so like you make interest back on your money there's like not anymore because they charge me five bucks but like there's an incentive to leaving your money in there sorry i've picked a with a capitalist not oh no we the people fuck off fuck off i just think like oh i don't know. I'll be honest. Maybe I haven't been affected by this because I'm pretty sure.

So I have one bank account, right? Like, I'm the biggest idiot. Like, my money. You've got all the different ones. So I've got one bank account and it's with Commonwealth Bank and that's, like, where all my money comes. So, like, whenever I get paid, whatever I do, all the money goes to there.

And I'm pretty sure it's a teen saver account that my mum opened when I was 12. This will be maybe a throwback for Australians. Did you have a Dolomite account? I didn't. Yeah, I know. I had the money brick thing and it was like build your financial future, the road to your financial future or something.

So I went to the bank when I was like five. Because you get like a little checkbook, right? Yeah, a little checkbook. And I put a little like five bucks in there and the lady was like, oh, if you put it into this savings account, like it gets a bit of interest. And I was like, oh, great, let's do that. And I was like, how much?

And they're like, yeah, we pay it every month and it's 2% or whatever. And I was like, oh, great, how good is this? So I go home. I was living with the grandparents at the time and I was like, how much? And they're like, yeah, we pay it every month and it's 2% or whatever. And I was like, oh, great, how good is this? So I go home. I was living with the grandparents at the time and I was like, Grandpa, I've just done this deal. Because your grandpa was like super into finance. Oh, Grandma. But Grandpa, you know, they were always looking out for me and stuff.

And he goes, oh, so 2% a month, that means it's 24% a year. And he's like, that doesn't sound right. And so Grandpa comes back down to the bank and he goes, apparently you've told Ryan he's getting 24% a year and he's like that doesn't sound right and so grandpa comes back down to the bank and he goes apparently you've told ryan he's getting 24 a year and she's like oh no like it's you know it's two percent a month but it's like per annum but like then broken down per month and he was like well that's not what he understood and she's like well he's six and like maybe he didn't understand like well you're the one selling him finance products when he's sick so maybe you should explain that a bit clearer.

Oh, my God. And what did they do? Did they honour what they told you? No, because who's paying 24% interest? But he was just very clear that, like, don't blame him. You're the one that sold it to him. What an advocate. Yeah.

Oh, my God. I love that. And then I kept the Dolomites account. Oh, I mean. Should have taken my business elsewhere. It's probably worth a fortune now. How much money is in that account? I probably should go back there.

Excuse me. About 30 years ago I rolled in here. Is that account still open? Yeah, you'll remember me. I was with my grandpa called Karen. Grandpa Karen was in. Gyms. Yeah, I'm back on board.

Thank you. Yeah. But specifically on this one. They make money off people, like, not fucking going. Yeah. They literally, the more intimidating and mean the people are that work at their gym, the more money they're going to make because people aren't going to fucking go in there and they're too fucking scared to call and be like,

oh, I want to cancel my thing because they don't let you fucking cancel. You went through that. It was like, what, four years or something they wouldn't let you fucking. So I moved to the Grampians, which is our rural area. So what, like a few hours away? Hours away. So too far to come to the gym every day. Yeah, and so I said I'd like to cancel my membership.

Fair enough. I'd done the 12 months minimum thing. And they said, yep, you have to come in person and cancel. And I said, we're actually in a lockdown. I'm legally not allowed to travel 10 kilometers outside of my house or workplace. It's three hours. When you say I have to come in, I'm pretty sure if you really wanted to, you could probably just log in and just click a button. Yeah, and probably just help me out. Yeah. Yeah.

And so for four months they kept charging me every week. And I was only like, you know, 20. But it was like the principal, they're charging me this thing. I've literally, I'm like, hey, can you help me? And they're like, no. And even if you didn't want to cancel, even if you wanted to go, you still couldn't attend the gym? Yeah.

Like because we were in a lockdown. Yeah, I think they'd come back out and they're like, I just come in and I'm like, I actually live three hours away. Like, I can't. But he is, yeah, that fucked me up. So I had to like go upstairs and Karen him to get that done. Did you? Yeah. Did you get like.

Head office sent a message to the local person and said, can you just take care of this and stop being an arsehole? And then I got a message saying it'll be done immediately. Did you use your celebrity powers? Did you say, hello, this is Ryan Jonathan Dunn and I really need some help here? Okay, I need to break down a lot about that sentence. First of all, I don't get this celebrity, not celebrity.

I'm not a celebrity. I don't even know what that means. It's not actually a real thing. Second of all. That's something that famous people say. The fact that you think celebrity have celebrity powers, you'd be surprised, mate. Really?

Yep. Are they really good? Well, not good enough to not pay for a gym membership that's four fucking hours from your house. Did you get paid retrospectively? No. Did they pay you back? No, and they should have.

But here's the one thing that fucks me off about gyms, even more than this. Oh. When you go and sign up, they go, yep, it's 50 bucks a month. It'll be way more than that. Whatever it is. Yep. Here's your credit card. Bang. When you go and sign up, they go, yep, it's $50 a month. It'll be way more than that. Whatever it is. Yep. Here's your credit card.

Bang. They bill you instantly. You go and use the gym. Easy. Yeah, because that first day you always sign up and then go because you're pumped. Yeah, you're pumped. You're ready to go.

And you just don't go the next day. You've rocked up in your shorts. Oh, yeah. You've got your towel in your hand. You've got your towel. Yep. You've got your AirPods charged up. Yep.

Sure, it might be the last time you go, but you are going to go that one time. But you always go that first time. Yeah. Sure, it might be the last time you go, but you are going to go that one time. But you always go that first time. Yeah. When you leave the gym, they say something like there's a 30-day termination period. What does that mean? So say if I quit today, they'll keep charging you for 30 days because that's your termination period. I think I thought that that was like, what's the thing like cooling off?

Is that what it is? Where like then you don't get charged? Cooling off is say if you sign up to a deal and then the next day you panic and go, oh, no. I don't want it. Yeah. Then they refund you? Maybe, yeah.

I think that that's what I thought termination period was. No. Do you keep paying for that? For 30 days. Oh, God. And they go, oh, and for me it's the language of, oh, we have to charge. It's the admin. It's the admin.

We have to pay our staff for that. The word have to. You actually don't have to charge me. You can just click that button and not take my money. I'm about to get fat. I don't need to be broke as well. Please. Yeah, don't keep me while I'm down.

Yeah, exactly. Is it kind of like the bank though? Like the admin fee, maybe it does get out of hand? No. Because you go, you actually, no. Mate. I'm very fucking defensive right now. I'm on your side though.

I literally just said, does it get a bit out of hand? It does get out of hand. Yeah. Wow. Okay. You could have been nice to me while I was at the gym. I was nice to you. Oh, not me.

I'm talking to the gym. Sorry. Now I'm panicking. I think I've done the wrong thing. We're all revved up. Finally. Yes. And this is closer to our heart.

And I don't mean that in either an offensive way or a cholesterol way. How much does it cost to go and get a bag of microwave popcorn from Coles or Woolworths or your local IGA supermarket. Probably $3 for like a packet of four. At Woolies, $1.90. Is it? Per thing?

Wow. How much does it cost at the cinema? Alleluja. Like $12 for a fucking medium. Cost at the cinema. Alleluja. Like $12 for a fucking medium. So considering we can buy it for $1.90, are they charging us $10.10 to put it in the microwave? And then they give it to you in a box. That always falls apart at the bottom.

Sorry, I just got so angry I lent on your microphone. Oh, my God. I was like, I'm being censored. Are the popcorn industries listening? Big popcorn! They're onto us. They're taking us down. They're trying to silence us.

But this is free speech in Australia. You will not take us down. Oh, my God. There was supposed to be a Hoyts ad playing next, and they've just cancelled it. Hi, it's Megan from St. George, Utah, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Shout out to Big Popcorn.

I love that we both said Big Popcorn. Whenever, like, something pisses Torbs off, like, if he goes into the fridge and, like, the cucumber's mouldy or, like, soft or whatever, he grabs it, he's like, oh, fucking big cucumber. And it fucking makes me piss every time. Like, it just sends me. It is the funniest, like, turn of phrase.

Is it the news companies or the politicians or whoever that, like, whenever they don't have an argument left, they're like, oh, fuck, we better just chuck a big on the front of it. Yeah, big politicians. Imagine, like, I don't know, the ventilator industry is suffering because everyone's breathing well. Like, oh, big air. Oh, yeah, big lung.

Big lung is out to kill off the ventilator industry. Small business, yeah. Small ventilator is not doing well against big air. Sorry, we got carried away. Hey, who have we got? Can you believe that threw the whole Hoyts out that didn't exist? That's what we were doing. A big thank you to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.

Rachel Bangs. I fucking bet she does. Nikki, Chloe Henry, and Jordan Cornelius. Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. If you want to check it out, you can. TonyandRyan.com slash Patreon. That's not what it is. Patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan.

Imagine if it was that. Also, happy birthday to Jose. Oh, happy birthday, Jose. Jose's partner. What about Jose's brother, Jose B? Jose listened to the podcast during his morning coffee and whilst punching his morning cigarette. Oh, I love to hear that.

What were you going to say? I was going to say what I said. Okay. Big tobacco. Big tobacco. That's a real one. Oh, big coffee. Big coffee.

Big Jose. Big morning dart. Fisherman's breakfast is not what they call it. A ciggy and a coffee and a ciggy. Sounds morning dart. Fisherman's breakfast. Isn't that what they call it? A ciggy and a coffee and a ciggy? Sounds about right. A big popcorn. That's the name of today's episode, but you already knew that because you've been listening the whole time.

Because you've been listening. Yeah, but I'm going to write it down now. Thank you. Cool. Last week, Tony. Okay, we've learned more about this story since I jotted it down before. What, what, what, what? Feedback on a Monday from last week's episodes.

Yeah. Last week, Tony went to a sports osteo. How did you hurt yourself? I was eating a bliss ball and I was very tired and I fell asleep on the couch in a Z shape, which is obviously not a natural shape for the body to be in for a prolonged period of time. Then I had to go to the osteo.

And you described the osteo as a hot, good-looking guy? No, I didn't because I would never objectify someone doing their job. I said, you know, fresh fade, svelte dude, like very, you know. Turns out it's one of my good friends, Ramsey. Yeah. One of my good mates. Played volleyball with him for years. So I was kind of like, oh, I went to this place.

Ryan goes, oh, is that the place like across from the RGA? And I went, yeah. And he said, what was the guy's name? And I said, it was Ramsey. And Ryan goes, oh, is that the place like across from the RGA? And I went, yeah. And he said, what was the guy's name? And I said, it was Ramsey. And Ryan goes, oh, I played volleyball with him. Which is very funny. He's such a great guy. He's a lovely guy.

He's so fucking lovely. What a legend. And I'm glad that you didn't objectify him on our show. I would never. But we were sort of joking and giggling at the fact that it was like a sports osteo and you had a couch injury. Yeah, and that he was trying to make me feel better by saying things like, nah, get this all the time.

Annabelle Elise Cannon. Hi, Annabelle Elise Cannon. Or actually. Oh, goodbye, Annabelle Elise Cannon. Well, she's got another story here and it just occurred to me that when I read the next story by Shmatabel Shmalish Manon, you're now going to know who it is. Oh, sorry.

I can't believe I've all the feedback. She's two of them. Someone hasn't done their job right. Me? No. The person that does the feedback probably. Oh, big feedback. Big feedback.

I had to see the physio for my knee and the physio was like, all right, no running for the next six weeks. And I was like, brah, I haven't run for five years. And she's like, somehow I have runner's knee. And you know those people who get tennis elbow from like wanking and they're like, oh. What? You just very aggressively said wanking. Well, I'm just, what else would you do? You very aggressively just then said wanking and they're like, oh. What? You just very aggressively said wanking.

Well, I'm just, what else would you do? You very aggressively just then said wanking. We've never said the word wanking on this podcast. Should we say wanking? Of all the horrific things that have been said. Should I bleep wanking? Nah. Big wank won't have that.

Big podcast. I'm trying to censor you. I'm so sorry. When someone has tennis elbow and they've never played tennis in their life, how else have they got tennis elbow? Really? I just assumed it's from... Wanking.

Yeah. I get runners, no? From running away from my responsibilities. Sorry, Shmanabelle Shmaloo Shmanan. Well, Annabelle had a joke of her own, but I feel like you've set the bar too high. Oh, no. Read me Annabelle's. The only thing... This is actually a good joke. I feel bad for too high. Oh, no, read me Annabelle's. The only thing... This is actually a good job.

I feel bad for her now. Oh, I didn't know, Kim. The only thing running are my thoughts on how the fuck this happened. See, it wasn't as good, was it? You've been outlodged. Read it again. What did Annabelle Melissa Cashannon say? I went to the physio and he was like, no running for six weeks.

And I was like, brah, I haven't run for five years, but somehow I have runner's knee? The only thing running are my thoughts on how the fuck this happened. Oh, you wouldn't read about it. Yeah. She doesn't like being bullied by big comedy. Last week we were talking about our love for post-mixed Coke that we mentioned earlier.

Oh, yeah. Putting that juicy syrup into the refreshing soda water. It's so good. It's definitely healthier, I swear. Okay. I don't have the information to confirm or deny that, but I support your passion. Now, if I need an expert on what I do and don't put in my mouth,

who would I contact? A dentist? George Wendell. Oh. George Wendell. Big orgy. Yeah. Poor George Wendell.

George Wendell, he has some intel on post-mix coke. Yeah, that it's healthier? No. Okay. I can't confirm what's happening. I just really need someone to tell me that it is because it's what I've been. I went to my oral expert, George. Me?

Oh. Big gulp is what they'll call you. McDonald's and Coca-Cola have a partnership specifically to provide extra special tasting Coke for McDonald's customers. From transporting the syrup in stainless steel containers rather than the plastic ones, pre-chilling the syrup, they treat the Coke extra special compared to their other drinks. So McDonald's Coke actually really does taste different and better

than when you buy it in other locations. Wow. That is some fucking gold from George Wendell right there. And that's from Big Post Mix as well. Yeah. Yeah. I also read that apparently the diameter of

a McDonald's straw, and I don't know if this is if I got taken for a ride on the Facebook group, this might be big comment, but that apparently the diameter... I was trying to keep a straight face with big comment, but that's fucking sent me. I'm crying, I'm crying. I actually can't do this.

That apparently the diameter of the straw at McDonald's. Oh, I feel like someone took advantage of my delicate sensibilities. Apparently the diameter of the straw at McDonald's makes the Coke taste better, but the way that you're reacting is making me think that maybe that was big straw. I don't know why, out of all the dumb big things, big comment just fucking sent me. I'm crying in the studio. It's going to ruin my makeup. Oh, you look a fright, mate.

I haven't had my eyes watering this much with anything to do with George Wendell since yesterday. And this time there's nothing in my eyes. All right, final bit of feedback from last week. Okay. From a random person called Shmanabelle Shmanalee Shmanan. Oh, we'd never hear from Shinkan Shalees Shunan. After listening to the Christian Hull episode,

I also wanted to share an arse mishap. And can I just say. An arse mishap. And can I agree? Lots of people loved having Christian on the show. And what a legend he is. And we loved having him on as well. I hope that everybody liked the format as well of him being like a co-host

rather than us being like, so what's next for Christian Hull? No one likes that. No. No one likes that. So we're talking arse mishaps. Arse mishaps from Shmanabel Shmelis Manon. I once had a Tinder hookup and it was one of those 1am you up kind of scenarios where she got home one night.

Would you do that on Tinder? That's what Tinder's for. Is it? You've been in a relationship too long. Is it actually? That's what Tinder's for. Is it? You've been in a relationship too long. Is it actually? Is that what it's for? For hooking up with people. But I didn't think.

It's a big chest. Yeah, it is. I didn't think that it would be like a one-night stand thing. I thought it was like to meet people, then you go out and then you like fuck them. It can be used for that. But I didn't think it was a you up thing. Well, I think if you log in at midnight and you're quiet and you're chatting and you're like, hey, like should we just.

That's sexy. Wow. Do you think that, so because I can't have Tinder, well I don't want to have Tinder, big Tinder, maybe I should message Torbs at 1am and say, you up? Yeah, when he's working on the. When he's making a synth. A synth in the room next door.

Yeah. Yeah. Do you think that would be hot? Well, I try this with Bridget and it's not hot. She just laughs. And then your phone's dead anyway, so you just yell out, are you up, Bridget? And then she replies and I don't get the message the next day.

I once had a Tinder hookup come over at 1am and it was my first experience tossing the old salad. What's that? You're going to have to Google it. I'm not saying it. Go look it up. Go Urban Dictionary. Or just type in and don't read it. I'm not saying it. Go look it up. Go Urban Dictionary. Or just type in.

And don't read it. Just. Okay. A few recipes have come up, but I've scrolled down to Urban Dictionary. Right. Okay. Tongue punching the fart box. Well, that's what Urban Dictionary calls it. Once he presented that area, I witnessed there was toilet paper stuck to it.

And similar to Tony Lodge just now, big gag, I proceeded to just gag at his asshole. Oh, I mean, that wouldn't have made him feel nice, would it? Well, it was not a choice. Like, it was a convulsion. Yeah. I asked him to quickly go and clean up, and he came back, and I still did it because I'm a lady. But let me tell you, and this is her words,

it was a harrowing visual to start the evening. It wouldn't be great. It really wouldn't. In that situation, so she is saying that she said, oh, could you go and clean up? Do you say it, though, do you go like, oh, how about we jump in the shower? I think that even if the toilet paper wasn't on there,

I think that if it was somebody that I didn't know, I think I'd if the toilet paper wasn't on there, I think that if it was somebody that I didn't know, I think I'd suggest that anyway. I would have assumed that for a once-off hook-up where you're really literally getting into it, I reckon that's probably like, hey, before we get going, yeah, let's really put our best foot forward. I think that there's just a sexy way of being like, should we jump in the shower together? There is a sexy way, yeah.

Yeah. And then it's not going to make anybody, because that person didn't do that on purpose. No. Like the guy that. If someone asked me to go and do that, I would go towards the bathroom. But then leave. And then leave and never come back.

No, you shit on their towel. You'd never have toilet paper on your ass because you use a fucking towel from a desk. I think you've got to say it in a nice way because that person didn't do that on purpose. Like it's fucked and it would freak me out, but that person didn't do that on purpose. Also, is that a first date thing?

No, I don't think so. I don't think I'd tongue punch a fart box on the first day. Maybe that should be the title of this. Oh. Nah. I like big popcorn. Yeah. Yeah. What about big fart box on the first day. Maybe that should be the title of this. Oh. Nah. I like big popcorn. Yeah. Yeah.

What about Big Fart Box? Oh, no, that might just be about you. I'll be like, oh, is this their comedy podcast or is it the Irritable Bow? It's anonymous. Wow, so catchy. How's that not caught on? What have you loved to see this week, Tony? So this guy from Melbourne, he unfortunately is terminally ill.

He's got cancer. He's really sick. He was going through chemo and radiation and he was like, oh, I've got all this brain fog and I just can't, not living my best life. And they said to him, look, the prognosis isn't great. You've probably only got another six months, but we'll give you every single piece of chemo and radiation

to try and, you know, extend that. And he said, look, I don't want to live the rest of my life feeling foggy and not as sharp as I used to be. So he cashed in, it's so cool, he cashed in his life insurance, bought a boat and has been sailing like around the world. Oh, what a lord. And he took off, started sailing, and he was scuba diving every day with turtles

and like mooring up at different places and it was just him and his cat out on the boat, on the water. Yeah. And he went, actually, I love life. It's given him a new lease on life. So he docked back in Queensland or something, started another round of chemo and he's going to go back out on his boat soon really yeah because he was like fuck i actually love this now i want to i want to be alive like i feel great i'm doing

something i love every single day it's making me really happy and i want this to last as long as possible so he's yeah like gonna go back through treatment and fucking good on you malcolm why are we look how happy he is. In this. He does look happy. Why are we in this podcast studio when we could be on a boat with a cat? I mean, we can't afford the boat and the cat yet. So keep doing the podcast.

So keep doing the podcast for a bit. But maybe one day we'll get to that point. I love to see that. I do love to see that too. And as you know, I love to see a heist story or a heist movie. A bit different to mine. Slightly different. Yeah. I probably could have ended on yours. Very nice, heartwarming note. This is actually

the shittest you'll ever see in a whole time. Oh, great. There was a cheese heist. 3,500 pounds of cheese were stolen from a cheese vault from a bunch of cheese thieves. It was like Ocean's Eleven, but of the cheese world.

Big cheese aren't happy because they've lost, get this, in one night of a thievery, 23,000 pounds worth of cheese. Pounds like the dollars or pounds the weight? The money. Right. So what's that in Australian? Like 60 grand or something? Yeah, something like that. Holy fuck.

I bet you the company was like, oh, why did they steal fromage? Sounds a bit like from us, but it's fromage, which is like French for cheese. Okay. Do you think if they get caught and they have to get that photo taken at the police station, what do you reckon they'll say? Cheese. All right, guys, I'm going to take your photo say cheese

oh fuck you mate I can't think of another cheese pun I really want to come up with another one but I just don't have it in me. What about the steal the one you just did? Yeah.

And because we have to finish the podcast. Yeah. From Meowth. See you tomorrow. Beautiful. Love you. Bye.