Toni and Ryan - Bogans in Barthelona

Episode Date: January 24, 2024

We get a litttttllleeee bit off topic, but it's nothing we can't handle 😂 also sorry to the netball pals.... lol. Love you! Toni xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. I am Ryan, the vice captain of the ship. This is Dr. Arthur, bestselling Dr. Arthur, Tony Lodge. Good evening. And we are calling Maddie, who's in God's country. WA, Perth. Yes. Yep. However, given the time difference with daylight savings, it's going to be fucking early over there. It is going to be really early. I don't know if Maddie knows what she signed up for, but let's find out the old-fashioned way. We've got to give her the benefit of the doubt. Yep.

If I was in WA, I'd already be in the ocean at this time. Baptised? No, like swimming. Oh, sorry. You also don't get baptised in the ocean. Hello, Maddie. Oh, my God. Hi.

Hi. Rise and shine. Good morning. Good morning. Yeah, Mads, we were a bit. Hi. Rise and shine. Good morning. Good morning. Yeah, Mads, we were a bit worried about the old time difference. Yeah, no, that's fine. I was up. I was up nice and early.

Were you swimming, getting baptized or anything? What were you doing this morning? I was actually just doing my skincare. Oh, that's good. I mean, that's as good as a swim, isn't it? Is it? Yeah. I don't know.

I really miss the beach. Like I'm really missing the beach. Since you moved to the country. Since now I'm in the country. But also Melbourne doesn't have any beaches like the bay. So I'm missing like. Well, it does have the bay. No, but it's not the beach.

It has sand and water. What else do you need? No, but it's not the beach. You can stand up paddleboard there. I know, but it's not the beach. Do you know you can stand up else do you need? No, but it's not the beach. You can stand up paddleboard there. I know, but it's not the beach. Do you know you can stand up paddleboard there? I do know that. I've been once.

Maddie, will you approve today? Do you miss Perth? Um, yeah, I do. I do know at times. And I visited a couple of times last year, like for work and stuff. And I loved it when I was there. You can love Perth and still like. Not live there. love it from afar i do miss the beach i will give you that i do miss the best beaches in the world yeah exactly yeah that's fair yeah um maddie will you

approve today's episode 100 yes thank god she's done her skincare she's ready to go looking good let's do this hey it's maddie from Perth and I approve this podcast. Hi, welcome to the show. Thursday's Normal or Nah. Happy New Year. Happy New Year. People submitted these in our Facebook group, and of the four normal or nahs, two of them,

I think we need a message back and go, is everything okay? So please accept this as our duty of care check-in. Yep. And on today's episode thread, maybe you let us know. If you're all good. If you need a welfare check or something. Yeah, if every day is are you okay day, and there's a few that we need to go,

are you all right? Every day is R U OK? Day. Yeah. Let's start with Ashley. Hi, Ashley. And you know I'm off prop comedy, but you'll know the prop that I- We did good props though the other day. We did, but we lent back into prop territory.

You'll know the prop when you hear it, but I just think maybe it's not appropriate for this time of the day. I'll properly know. That is quite good. Probably, yeah. Yeah. Is it appropriate? You are good at puns.

Yeah. Props to you. Sorry, I'm stepping on your toes. I'm stepping on your toes. I like that in for 2024, Ryan being good at the things that I'm good at. No, I could never be Tony Lodge. Well, no. No.

No. Ashley asks, does anyone else, when eating an icy pole, try to see how much of it you can get in your mouth before you gag? Or just on air, apparently. Oh, yeah, just now. I'd rather find out my range on a popsicle than in the heat of the moment. gag or just on air apparently. Yeah, just now. I'd rather find out my range on a popsicle than in the heat of the moment. Okay.

I've left Ash's last name off the story. Fair, fair. But if you know an Ash, tag him and ask them if they're okay. This has real like practicing kissing on your hand energy. Like, you know, that like, oh, like, what if I kiss a boy? I better make sure that I'm good. And you're like, on your hand? Did you ever do that?

No. Okay. Well, I did that. As a chubby loser, I had to, like, get ready for the real thing, you know. I thought the cliche was, like, on a pillow. Well, yeah, like, all those things. You're like, yeah, I never did it on my hand. Pillow, though. Yes I thought the cliche was like on a pillow. Well, yeah, like all those things. You're like, yeah, I never did it on my hand. Pillow, though.

Yeah, so I have to sleep on that, though. How are you? What? What are you doing? We don't want to put your mouth on a pillow. Yeah. Because you've got to sleep there. Why?

Anyway. Please continue. Okay. So it kind of has that energy for me. But like, you know how, if you were trying to do something by yourself and you're kind of like, oh, I didn't really get it. But then like, say you were singing a song and you're like, oh, I don't feel that pumped.

But then like when you go to karaoke with all your friends and everyone's hyping you up. It's the adrenaline of the moment. You can like do way more than you think. So if you're trying that on a popsicle, you go to karaoke with all your friends and everyone's hyping you up. It's the adrenaline of the moment. You can, like, do way more than you think. So if you're trying that on a Popsicle, you go, oh, like, not too much. But when you've got a crowd hyping you up, like, there's no, like, telling what you could do. When you say crowd hyping you up.

A crowd can be one person. Okay, great. Just thought I'd check because it sounds like you've been sucking dicks in front of clubs of people. Well, I mean, imagine what you could do if you had that support behind you. I'll come around and support you. Okay. You still got that chair in the corner.

But no, I've never done that. I tell you what, which is, I don't know if anyone else is freaked out by this specific part of it, but you know how an icy polar popsicle, whatever it's called, wherever the fuck you're from, it's obviously hard. Well, yeah. Otherwise it's just cordial. But for me, yeah, it's on the ground with a stick. For me, it's like your teeth on something that's like hard, hard,

where obviously. You're going to get good at that. My teeth aren't a problem, mate. When you're swallowing the pork sword It's not as like Unless you've got a fat A cat can't scratch It's not that

It's not that hard No it's not It's got a bit of give For lack of a better word I was told I wasn't allowed to say It's got a bit of give Yeah Yeah I guess so And because you can kind of like Move for lack of a better word. I was told I wasn't allowed to say it's got a bit of give. Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.

Because you can kind of like move, whereas pop school, like, yeah. It is what it is. Yeah. Ash, I hope you have a great weekend. Yeah, good on you, Ash. Samantha Penny, normal or nah? Hi, Samantha Penny. Collecting your shedded hair in the shower

and making art with it on the shower screen. This makes me sick. This is actually not the first time that someone has talked to me about this recently. Surely it's not common. And it is. I've never, ever done this. And then I saw a TikTok of someone doing it or like a meme online or something. What is wrong with everyone?

I don't know, but i like it the thought for me of wet hair yeah that isn't attached to anything like when you're washing your hair that's okay but you know when you're like oh you might not because your hair's short but like i've got really thick hair like it's fine but there's a lot of it and so when i'm washing my hair a lot of hair comes out so does that mean after time there's a bit of buildup in the bottom of the shower? Yeah. But like. Whose job is it to get that out?

Oh. Yeah. Fuck that guy is. I know. The greatest guy. Because I just can't do it. I just can't do it. I'll clean anything else.

And it's all his hair. No, sorry. It's all mine. It's all your hair. Yeah. Yeah. He's doing God's work. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah, I know. I don't deserve it. I literally don't deserve him. Put a ring on that guy. Don't wait for him to propose. If you let him, nah, you've got to fuck you. But yeah, nah, it's cursed. It is cursed.

You've been dropping cursed a lot and only in the right scenarios, and I love it. Okay, great. Cursed in for 2024. Did you hear someone cool say it? I'll work that into rotation. Who did you hear say it that made you want to say it? I don't know. I really like it.

But now that you've said I only use it in the correct spot, now the pressure's on to not use it out of place next time. Oh, you could have cursed you. That was very well done and I hate that it was at me, but very good. You do have a gift. Not my first time. Normal or not from Tony Lodge. Oh, I'm famous!

I'm famous! I've been sending these in for years. No one ever uses mine. You didn't actually send this in. This is just me doing a welfare check on you and seeing if it's normal or not. Pressing on your eyes so you see blurs and stars and colours. Well, okay, I'm going to tell you normal right now because that video has like a million views on TikTok and everyone's on board.

Well, I saw that it had a lot of views, but are the views of other people going, is this bitch okay? So, right, okay, I posted this TikTok and saying that, like, when I was a kid, I used to press really hard on my eyes or, like, rub them really hard and I would start seeing stars. It was like a galaxy. Have you ever done that? No, I have an imagination for that.

No, no, no, but, like, I also have a good imagination because I like to read and stuff. But it was more just that, like, the sensory. That means an author has a good imagination. No, no, no, because like you read the words, but you have to like build the picture in your mind. Okay, yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Like whereas if you're watching a movie, it's like done for you. Yeah, okay, yeah. But if someone says like, oh, he had green eyes and like blonde hair and you kind of like build that person in your head. Yeah, okay, I'll give, yeah. Like it's a thing. Yeah, yeah.

Anyway, I used to, I think I did it as like a, it like feels nice. So if you do like quite a hard press, you kind of start to like see stars after like a little while. And like anyway, and I used to do it all the time. And then I asked if maybe that is why I have bad eyesight now because I used to like push my eye eyes into the back of my head. And everyone was like, well, obviously. And everyone was like, I've never thought about that, but I also did that

and now I do also have astigmatism. So I think it's a real thing. Causation does an equal correlation. That's true. But, like, I mean, it sounds right, doesn't it? Yeah. I'm going to say normal. I'm backing myself in on that one.

Okay, well, Tony asks if anyone else does it, and Tony goes, yes, we do. We do. I'm speaking on behalf of the astigmatic community. Do you have meetings? Yeah, we do now. Yeah, this is it. I've brought them all to my TikTok page, and we're all just chatting about how bad our eyesight is.

If you want to check out the hashtag StigTok. Did you write that down? I didn't. Did you just come up with that then? Well, I didn't really know what a stigmatism was. That's very, because StigTok, that's very funny. Thank you. Except you might find stuff from Top Gear.

Top Gear, yeah. RIP. Yeah. Well, no, because that guy's an asshole, isn't he? Or is that the one that I'm talking about? Yeah. Or is the other one Jeremy whatever? Dickhead.

Dickhead. Cockhead. Catcher. I hope you do have a stigmatism, Jeremy Clarkson. Yeah, and I mean that. That would be the Venn diagram of a stig talk. He joins us all together. It's Jeremy Clarkson.

Finally, normal or not for pet owners? Did I send this one in as well? No, you didn't. Well, it was by Liz. All right, Bea. My mother is dead. It appears this person's alive, so maybe it's a different Liz. Oh, it might be a different one.

Normal or not for pet owners, ask Liz. Does anyone else drop a stay safe or behave to your pets before you leave the house for the day? It's as if they were planning on throwing a rager once it left, but your final stern words are, oh, no, I better not. And they go, oh, yeah, good point. Good point, Liz, actually. I hear that.

I will behave. Yeah. Normal. I do this all the time as I'm leaving. I go like, have a good day, be good or whatever. I think that. I will behave. Yeah. Normal. I do this all the time as I'm leaving. I go like, have a good day, be good or whatever. I think that's normal. But I talk to Pippa, my dog, all the time. Yeah.

Like. So me and Bron have been doing like long walks each night. So we're like, we're rekindling our love. And now because I'm walking him more, he's like, he's back in the bed. Oh, nice. I woke up in the night and I was like, what the fuck? He was feeling a bit left out with. With Mabel. With Mabes. Now we've bumped her to her own room. Bron's straight back in the bed. Oh, nice. I woke up in the night and I was like, what the fuck? He was feeling a bit left out with Mabel.

With Mabes. Now we bumped her to her own room. Bron's straight back in that. He's like, yeah, this is my land. He's like my territory. This morning, for example, and Bridge doesn't like this. So I went to see Mabel and she was, so when I get home at the end of the day, she like big smile on her face when I get home. And when I leave, like, she's like like, oh, we're going to play now.

And I'm like, oh no. So I go, oh, Mabel, our dad's got to go to work, but I love you so much, sweetie. Give me a little smooch. And I give her a cuddle. Yeah. And then I look at Bron and I give him a scruff. And I was like, Bron, you're the man of the house now. You got to take care of the ladies.

Yeah. You're in charge. Make sure they're secure when I get home today. How? Are you going off to war? What are you planning on doing? I go, Bron, when I get home and the ladies are safe, I know you've done your job and I trust you and I love you, mate.

And then Bridge goes, oh, you have a good day. And I go, yeah. Okay. Well, it seems like you need to talk about it. But no, I give Bron like a pep talk. Oh, yeah. Pet talk. Pet talk.

Hey, it's Maddie from Perth and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. That's Tony and Ryan podcast. You can check out our Patreon. It's Tony and Ryan podcast-ers. You can check out our Patreon. It's in the link to our show notes. The link to our Patreon is in our show notes. Why do I not get that right every single time? You can check it out.

We post- We only have 500. How many episodes do we have? 500 and something? I don't know. Five at least. Yeah. I know this is not the right time, but I just like scald a smoothie in like two sips.

Is your tummy quite harsh? Yeah. I don't know if I'm going to make it to the end of the episode. Okay, well, we've got to get through it. Hopefully these people are. It was just so yum. Yeah. And I was thirsty indeed.

I should have drank water first. Yeah. And then enjoyed and sipped the iced coffee smoothie thing. But instead, I just got the thick, what is it? Like iced coffee and banana and peanut butter and shit. And I just had it in two sips. And I think I'm going to explode. I think that everybody can relate to, like,

drinking something nummies too fast. Yeah. Like, whenever I get an espresso martini, I'm like, and everyone else is still going, and I'm like. Was that not a short black? Yeah. Oh, sorry. Or when you finish your food in the cinema before the trailer's finished.

What a waste. Yes. They need to give a chew in, like, portions. Like, so you go, like, oh, and then when he says blah, you're allowed to open your next bit of popcorn. Sir, can you bring in two kernels every three minutes? Yeah. Yes.

Someone needs to just pass them to you and like ration you out. Someone should do that to me with nuggets. Because I can blink and fucking. 40 are gone. Okay, I said 10. You said 40. Yeah. Let's meet in the middle.

20 are gone. Let's not do the math on if that's in the middle or not. 20's in the middle of 10 and 40. Don't be stupid. How much would it cost? 40 is always cheaper, isn't it? It actually is. It's fucked.

But how do they win though? For 10 nuggets ends up being like $3 a nugget or whatever. But if you do $40, it's like a cent a nugget. It's like if I go to Costco and more is cheaper. How does that work? Do you know what I mean? How do I get eight things for less money? So at Macca's at the moment, it's a certain amount for 20 nuggets.

But if you get a 24 pack, it's not less per nugget. It's just straight up less. Yeah. So it's like $20 for 20, but it's like 15 for 24. Or for example, you know, I don't actually know what it costs. And it's just like. How? Yeah.

What is the benefit in that? Like I actually can't. I'm obviously not a mathematician, as we've heard, but I don't understand how that's a thing. Because, yeah, like when you go to Costco, how is more stuff less? Because they charge the $60 card maybe. That card. I'd pay $60 for an annual Maccas membership. Would you?

Well, isn't that just like what my rewards is, like the points? Oh, probably, yeah. I just, I mean, as a Maccas fangirl, you know that I love Maccas. And I mean. Don't get them. They got Diet Coke in there, the drive-thru at the moment? They don't have Diet Coke. That's okay.

I've forgiven them for that. Have you? Anyway, a massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas from our Patreon. Brianne Wiley-Whalen. Wiley-Whalen. What a great name. You know how it, like, if you say, like, why, the, like, correct, apparent, I'm saying correct,

like, in quotations, is say, like, why? No. But you know how that's, like, a thing that some people do? So I'd never heard that. Oh, I've got a fucking bone to pick. I'd never heard that before, right? Sorry. I need a moment.

That's my laptop making noise. I'm so sorry. I was in a spelling test in year three. Mrs. L's good. Okay. Does she spell good? Was the first question spell my name? And no one. And everyone failed. So we all had to do year three again yeah i'm in year three mrs ellsgood's class spelling test i'm pretty good

at spelling not great at maths pretty good at spelling yeah and she like the words year three right the words are like who what where where and why well like in row, because we'd obviously learnt, you know, the meanings of those. She goes, who, what, where, why is like how she said it. I spelt them all with a QU because I was like, I don't know what word you're saying, but that's what it sounds like. Failed. The way you say it, it sounds like fucking it's got a Q in it. I failed that spelling test and she hands it back to me with all these like red crosses on it and i

was like excuse me that's what you said she said no tony that is the correct pronunciation i've actually never forgotten that because it just because i was gaslit you were if you pronounce a word wrong in a spelling and this is what teaches everywhere yeah if you pronounce a word wrong during a spelling test i actually should not be penalized for the fact that you can't speak do you think i should i get paid to talk now. Yeah. Right? Yeah.

And you're fucking bullshit. Wow. I'm educating the people. I'm doing God's work. Hey, are you saying that if you can't pronounce stuff, you shouldn't host a podcast? Well, no, then I would lose you. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, I'm not going to do one with Mrs Ellsgood, that's for sure. Actually, let's stay on this. Fuck what I was lose you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I'm not going to do one with Mrs. Ellsgood, that's for sure. Actually, let's stay on this. Fuck what I was going to talk about. Okay. I've got a way to find out if someone is a bogan or if they are a fucking wanker like your teacher. Oh, yeah.

Like a real stuck up, thinks they're better than everyone else. She was also like a netball coach. And because I was a fat little kid, I didn't play netball. And she was like, oh, you should join the netball team. And I was like, I don't want to. Like I do swimming in the mornings with my mum. Like I exercise in ways that I enjoy. I don't want to play netball.

Let it go. Like actually let it go. Just a moment for us all to sing this song in our minds. I reckon she's probably let it go, but it seems like 15 years later someone else needs to. No, it's one. I think it's just really stayed with me because it made me feel really stupid. You know when you were talking about that teacher you had that was,

like, really nasty to you and it just, like, stuck with you? Yeah. And it was just something that I was like, no, you are. I'm being like, you are judging a fish on its ability to climb a tree right now and that's not fair. Like this is just not what I want to do and you can't then do. Well, is a fish a dumb ****? Beat that, obviously.

Wow. Can't climb a tree. But like, you know, you know that saying, it's like, oh, not everyone's good at the same stuff. Choose your own scoreboard. Yeah, like, but it just really. What did you measure yourself on in school? It's obviously not spelling wahai and playing wing defence.

Well, I was really, really good at the humanities, so like English and stuff. Really good at music. Like I was a very good musician. You were. Judge me on that. Yeah. Like I bet you couldn't pick up an instrument or like look at sheet music

and read it. And it just like really hurt my feelings that she, like, made me, I was year three, made me feel really, really bad about myself. Isn't it? And it still does now. Isn't it funny those things in your childhood that really just fucking stick?

Yeah. And you never know when you're chatting to your own kid, someone else's kid, that little comment, they're just fucking. Yeah. And, like, I think it's just a good lesson to, like, not do that to people. This is not what we were going to talk about. I'm really sorry.

No, I'm okay. Just like. You're not going to be okay when I tell you about this next one. Oh, okay then. Yeah. I'll take a little sippy. Yeah. Mrs. Ellsgood, if you're listening.

Go fuck yourself. Fuck you. Also, Mr. Cabal, you can go fuck yourself as well. Yeah, Mr. Cabell can suck my butt. Mr. Cabellend, that's what I call him. Can I just do the rest of my shout outs? Are we still doing that? I only did Wiley Whalen and that's how this all came out.

Lindsay Nichols, good on you, Linz. Thank you, babe. Oh, Brianne Wiley Whalen, this isn't about you. I'm really sorry if you feel bad. Brianne Wiley Whalen, we absolutely love you. B-W-W. Is it Whalen or Whalen? Whalen.

Lindsay Nichols, love you. Jodie, thank you so much. Mikey B! With an exclamation. Love that. And G Divine. G, aren't they divine? Yeah, they are.

Can I do the thing? Yeah. So the thing about year three. So what was the lady's name again? Mrs. Ellsgood. Mrs. Ellsgood. And like my mum always used to give teachers like a gift at the end of the year, which I think is pretty common.

My mum was super crafty so she'd always like make up a little thing. And I said, Mum. Don't. Don't make her anything. And she went, you know what I'll do? I'll use last year's chocolate. So she would have opened those barchies and they would have had fucking the white stuff on it.

And that's how she died. She was stupid. Oh, there's heaps of netball in hell, bitch. Should I go out and come back in? I like this. Is there anyone more annoying than someone trying to hustle up numbers for a netball team? Netball team.

Every Wednesday night I've got people on my Facebook, oh, we just need two for our mixed netball team. Like, let it go. If you don't have enough friends, don't sign up. Don't sign up. I was playing mixed netball in Canberra. Oh, yeah. And I had, like, there was this one referee that if we had her or not.

It was probably Mrs. Ellsgood. It was probably Mrs. Ellsgood. There's no, actually, yeah, netball people can go fuck themselves because every netball, is Phoebe a netball person? You can just tell from those long legs she's a netballer. I feel offended. Fucking wing defense energy. Okay, Phoebe, you tell me.

No, goal defense energy. You tell me, Phoebe. So Phoebe's our new team member of ours. You tell me you've never played netball. You tell me you've never been part of a netball team. That's what I thought. The silence is deafening. Keep going, Ryan, with your story.

Put the microphone away. What position did you play? Anal. Right, Ryan. Goal defense, goal keeper. Oh, what position did you play? Anal. Right. Ryan. Go defence, go keeper. Oh, tall bitch. Tall, no skills. Yeah.

Get down the back, sweetheart. If you could shoot, you'd be a GS or a GA. Yeah. And if you could run, you'd be a C. Is there... They can go into all thirds. And you know why I know that? Because someone forced me to play netball.

I shouldn't know that. I've got a personality. I shouldn't know that. The bibs also. Very fat phobic. There's not a lot of elastic on the sides of those. They are literally all elastic. They are so tiny.

Anyway. What's netball refs, the power trip? All refs though, isn't it? I don't know enough about any sports to be a referee. I can enjoy it, but I could never be a referee. And I'm like, you know what? You're running more than anyone else. Maybe you deserve the power trip.

You know what I mean? No, there's main character energy and refs need to know they're actually the last character, the least main character. The main characters are playing. Except when you've got a mixed netball, the people that are reffing are like volunteers, aren't they? No, that's what your money's for. What? Are you joking?

I thought it was just like, oh, my sister plays at 7pm so she does a 6pm game and then I do their game. No, that's their job, dog. I didn't know that. Oh, yeah. So, you know, you pay a little cashola if you're not feeling it. Like, yeah. I thought it was for the wind-up at the end of the year. Nah.

Because they'd always have those at Sizzler. When I was at uni, I umpired, like, volleyball just for cash. How much you get? I don't know, $20 a game. That's good. Like a 40-minute game. So if there's, like, three or four games on a Tuesday night, you know. That's not bad. When you're 18, yeah. That's good. They're like 40-minute games. So if there's like three or four games on a Tuesday night, you know. That's not bad.

When you're 18, yeah. That's heaps of cash. Back then as well, inflation these days. Yeah. You could buy a house with that. Here's how you know if someone is an absolute fucking disgusting dickhead cockhead wanker or a filthy disgusting bogan. Okay.

How do you pronounce the main most well-known city in Spain that starts with B? Barcelona. Yeah, and then we're going to Ibiza. Yeah. But if you go, where'd you go in Spain? They go, Barcelona. You go, oof.

Yeah, yeah, we fucking went over to Barcelona. What's weird, though, is when someone speaks in their normal Oka accent and then just, like, falls into a, yeah, so the touring was really great, saw the beaches, went to a few bars, then we went to blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And then we continued on to a few other bars and it was great. Bars. But the thing is is that that is how you're supposed to pronounce that.

So I know what you mean. It's very jarring. Because it was the same when I worked in the deli. It'd be like, yeah, can I get some bloody poloni and I'll also get some mortadella. Right? You say it as an old Italian nonna. But you don't have to change character. You just have to say it in your tone.

So, okay, let me practice this. So if I was at the deli, I'd be like, yeah, can I get a little bit, like a couple of those chicken breads? Can I also get some mortadella? Like how do you say it? Well, you're doing the dance as you say it. You can just say it without doing the like. But you're not supposed to like say mortadella because it is like mortadella.

But how do you split the difference? Don't do it in character. Do it as Tony. No, no, no. But if you just said like mortadella, that's like not how you pronounce it. But pronounce it as Tony. But I don't know how to do it. Can I get some?

Yeah, I'll grab a couple of slices of the mortadella. Is that closer? You're right. Do you know what I mean? Like it's the same as like can I get some prosciutto? That's what I would always do. But that's what I would always do. But the first line of a musical when everyone goes, oh,

I'm reading this or not read. What are you listening to an audio book at the moment? And one of the chapters or bit is about, I think it's Mari Curie who invented or discovered radium and X-ray and stuff like that. You heard of her? No. One of the best, like, scientists. I know the name, but I don't know what the word radon is.

Radium? Radium, yep. You don't know what radium is? No, what is it? I mean, it's hard to explain. Why is everyone looking at me like that? Okay, I didn't play netball. It's an element, isn't it?

Oh, sure. Okay. I don't know much about it, but I just know that she, like as a young female in science back in the day, it was really tough. So this book, I can't also, in other words, I'm reading a book on like history and shit. So am I okay?

Probably not. It would seem. But the audio book guy reads it really normally, but then he goes, yeah, so in the science world, Marie Curie. But that's how you're supposed to pronounce it, right? And Pierre, her husband, was also a great inventor. But when he teamed up with his wife,

they continued to dominate in the science world. After that, decided that uranium wasn't just needed, but it was actually not uranium, but radium that made the difference in x science world. After that, decided that uranium wasn't just needed, but it was actually not uranium but radium that made the difference in X-rays, and that's what made the best. As someone who has read an audiobook, hate to do a bit of a flex there, they are really pedantic in the best way, obviously, because it needs to be right. They're very pedantic about how you pronounce things

and, like, what you say. So you can't stray from what's written. So, like, even if you kind of go, oh, the way that I've written that, so mine was my own book, which is, like, a bit different because if you were reading, like, a science text, obviously it's a lot of that. But I would be like, oh, yeah, so I grew up in Bunbury they'd be like just stop there we're just going to check the pronunciation on Bunbury I'm like yeah I live I live there I actually wrote this book and then

um I would be like yep so I drove the one hour 30 minutes to Bunbury and then they would go oh let me just google that um that was an hour 30 and I'm like and they go oh it's actually an hour 45 I go yeah but like from where I was driving from in the city, it was because I was close to the freeway or whatever. And also you're Googling it at 8.45 in peak hour. Yeah, but there was just all these things with it. And so I reckon that if you were doing like a science text, they would be like, it has to be.

Yeah, because they'd be like, well, that's the pronunciation of her name. But I never know when you are supposed to jump into the accent. Well, not the accent, but like the correct pronunciation. Because like if you said like, yeah, arigato, like in Japan, like that's not what you say, like arigato. Like you have to do the pronunciation. Do you think if you give it too much with an Asian language, it comes across racist because we're white guys?

Well, I think. Like if you give it a little too much? Well, yeah. I mean, like anything, the same as the mortadella. Like if you give it a little too much? Well, yeah. I mean, like anything. The same as the mortadella. Like if you did tell them, people would be like, we don't sound like old ghosts. Like you don't have to do that.

I don't know what we're planning on doing, but I reckon that'll do us. I've got to get up to see it. Great. Take us home, babe. Chloe Erickson, who listens to the podcast. I ordered a fancy cocktail, but the barman made me the wrong cocktail. I was so inebriated I actually didn't give a fuck

and the new one tasted great. But they said, oh, sorry, we've given you the wrong drink. She'd already swallowed it. And they're like, oh, I'm so sorry we gave you the wrong thing. She's like, yes, I didn't want to say anything. Well, she was like, oh, whatever. I'm having a great time. All good.

And they go, oh, sorry, we'll make you the one that you actually ordered. They added a little glitter to it. And they said, and you can keep the one that we made by mistake. She already drunk. Chloe said maybe it was the aforementioned inebriation. Yeah. But I started crying. I just thought this was the nicest thing that, like, in the moment.

That is nice, though. This is the nicest thing. What? I can keep. And he's like, what are you going to do? Tip all the elements back into the separate bottles? They've got one of those squeezy eyedroppers. It's actually hard to take back a cocktail.

Yeah. And the markup on those things, I mean. Unbelievable. Like, they made money by giving that away. You know, that's how it works. The nuggets again. I mean, they re-returned. Yeah, yep.

In the moment, I just thought it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me in my entire life. And the earth couldn't possibly get any better. I bawled my eyes out. I was like, thank you so much. I bet you then she went and made a great friend in the bathroom. I don't doubt that at all. Yep. And I just love to see that.

It's a great love story. And she felt great in the bum and was like, oh, it was my stuff up, and now you're making me feel like fucking Jesus. No, he was probably on Earth. Yeah. On Earth? On Cloud 9. The exact opposite.

The opposite. He was probably in hell. In the Tony and Ryan Facebook group where people are submitting there, you'll have to see it. Chloe actually replied to her own story, which, first of all, tickets. Love that. She goes, wow, Chloe, that's beautiful. I love your top today or something.

She, like, has it in her self-help. I will say, though, I am lactose intolerant, and it turns out the bonus one did not love me. And I'm actually not going to read the next line, but it just implies that the next day wasn't great. But in the moment, she thought it was fantastic. So I was actually going to say, like, imagine if you're, like, allergic to eggs and they gave you a whiskey sour.

And it's got egg whites in it and you go, oh, I didn't know that it was, you know. But that's okay. We loved it at the time. I hope that your arsehole's okay, Chloe. Just to check, now that that's been and gone, where do we stand on the term monstrous shart? No relation, obviously, to that story.

Just like off the top of your head. Yeah, although, I mean, you can go find the comment thread yourself in the group. I actually quite like it, monstrous shart. I think it paints a picture. It really does. Because you've got an imagination. Yeah, I do. Thank you.

I can't picture it. I'm as dull as a doormat. That's true. My love to see it, I saw this online or actually on the news. What? I know. It was after the tennis. Anyway, Jay Stevens, this guy from Australia,

he six years ago was in a helicopter crash. He was like on a sightseeing helicopter crash. And he had like, he was so many injuries, but he suffered, like, a spinal cord injury. And he was told, like, by all of his doctors, like, he'll never walk again. He'll be in a wheelchair. And he was, like, you know, he's got, like, a wife and a son

and was, like, oh, you know what? I actually, like, I won't take that. I need to, like, teach myself how to walk again. So he went through all this rehab and he was, like, oh, you know what? I actually like, I won't take that. I need to like teach myself how to walk again. So he went through all this rehab and he was like, yeah, I need to get out in nature and try and see things. So he like graduated from using a wheelchair to using crutches now and like walking braces. And he said, you know what? I'm going to be, this is what he said, like quote, I want to be the first paraplegic in a wheelchair to walk to Everest Base Camp.

Holy fuck. What a hell of an excuse. And last week he did it. Fuck. So he did it on crutches with walking braces on his knees and he had a team with him. Incredible. And for, like, big rocky putts, someone was actually, like,

lifting his leg up, like, over the bits he couldn't quite, like, get over. Fuck, yeah. And there's, like, this amazing footage of him, like, hitting, you know that big rock that's got, like, the Everest base camp and people, like, leave flags there and, like, ride on the rock and stuff. And he's, like, him, like, snacking this thing. And, yeah, six years ago they told him he'd never walk again

and he just, like, walked to Everest base camp. Isn't that incredible? Incredible guy. I was watching this story and I actually was like tears in my eyes, partly from the monstrous shark probably. Yeah, that would impact it. But I just thought like Jay, like he doesn't listen to this podcast and this is not, he didn't send me a story.

Oh, so he's not perfect. Yeah, so there's, I mean, room for improvement obviously. But I just thought that was so amazing. That is actually incredible. Well done. I think the difference between a guy like him and people like us, Tony, and I want you when I say this next line to envisage us sitting on those lazy boy seats that we did in the marathon.

The marathon, yeah. Someone goes, Tony and Ryan, you've drank one too many Diet Cokes. You'll both never walk again. And we go, okay. Yeah, I'll just piss here. Yeah. All good. I won't walk again. I was going, like. Yeah, I'll just piss here. Yeah. Oh, good. I won't walk again.

I was going, like, you'd take that verbatim, eh? Well, if someone said that, I'd just be like, oh, I'm not a negotiator. Yeah. So if someone said that to me, I'd be like, oh, my God, that's awful. Anyway, can you pass me the remote, sweetheart? Like, I would just, yeah. I'll just accept that news. Yeah, but Jay didn't take no for an answer.

And, yeah, just awesome. If you Google it, the footage is, like, really special. Yeah. Yeah, I'll just accept that news. Yeah, but Jay didn't take no for an answer. And, yeah, just awesome. If you Google it, the footage is, like, really special. Yeah. Yeah, really cool. Tomorrow, it's not just an audio show. It's a video show. So you can watch it on the Spotify app. A tennis player has snuck in a snack to a tennis game at the Australian Open.

Haven't they just? It's called a brouhaha. But what I will say is that some tarp, if there's anyone good at sneaking snacks, as we go from climbing Everest as a paraplegic, let me come back to our areas. Yep. Sneaking in snacks.

The places and the food that tarpers are getting shit into is fucking wild. I've never been prouder of. We'll share that with you tomorrow. Love you, bye.