Toni and Ryan - Boiz with backwards caps

Episode Date: September 1, 2022

Slutty, niche things that we find sexy, and Ryan goes along with a lie - but does it go too far?! Love u! Toni xxx [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Tony, Ryan, and we're calling Myra. Myra? Myra. Yora? No, Myra. Oh, Myra. Yora.

Yora. Myra. Hello? Myra! Oh my fucking God. Myra, will you approve this podcast? I'm so excited right now. Of course I will.

Absolutely. Hey, it's Myra. I'm from California and you approve this podcast? I'm so excited right now. Of course I will. Absolutely. Hey, it's Myra. I'm from California and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Oh, that's how I start, is it? Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Oh, that's how we start, is it? Well, Tony just said saddle up cowboy when I was like, are we ready to go?

Yeah, everyone right to go. Everyone right to go? Yeah. Saddle up cowboy. We've talked about cowboys a lot this week. Is something happening in your life? I don't think so, but I just, I don't know. I've caught the wild, West Cowboy World on Wednesday. You've incepted yourself.

Yeah, I've never said that before. Like, when have I ever said Wild Wild West? Obviously never, because I called it Cowboy World. This weekend, go and watch Quick and the Dead with Leonardo DiCaprio. What's that? I think that's what it's, it's a Western with Gene Hackman. Oh. And he's like the young, like the young hotshot shooter.

Meow, meow, meow. Yeah, go and check that out. Hey, coming up this episode, I was propositioned by a retail worker. For sex? No. Oh. Well, they said, I can do something for you if you do something for me. Oh, bit of tit for tat.

Yeah. Sorry. I'll remind you this is a vodcast episode, so when you grab your boobs and wink at me, people will be able to see them. Yeah. I actually, this bra, so I've had it for probably, like, a long time, probably, like, three or four years.

And the underwire just popped out yesterday. You've got to hate that. I do. Yeah. Yeah. So do you want to hear those serendipity? Is that the right word? You're telling the story, man.

Serendipitous. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. Anyway, luck of the gods. I don't fucking know. Anyway, super lucky. Oh, souvlaki. Can we get a souvlaki?

Oh, my God. Yum. Can we actually get a souvlaki after this? Yes. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, so, super lucky. Oh, yum.

I bought new bras online on Sunday because I was like, I reckon this one's on its last legs. Gone. Wednesday, popped out. Wednesday, popped out. Today, Friday, souvlakis. I mean, what a week for Tony Lodge. Great week. I want you to have week for Tony Lodge. Oh, great week.

I want you to have a think about what really turns you on, what does it for you. Souvlakis. Tony did go on the record the other day and say, when a man gives me carps. I did say that. Wow. Everything I say adds up.

Yeah, it does. It really does. If you ask me. So people are contributing their stories, and it was specifically this time of what is it that, it does. It really does. If you ask me. So people are contributing their stories and it was specifically this time of what is it that a man does? And just very niche like odd

things. It doesn't get any nicher. Oh, great. Strap yourself in. Oh, I'm strapped in. I'm strapped on. I'm ready to go. Audra Court. Oh, we don't do last names, do we? No, that's Audra Schmorge. Audra K. Schmorge. What makes me slutty? My boyfriend plays baseball and he always tips his head back

and shakes his hair out of his face before he puts his hat on. Oh, my God. Wow. That is a vision, isn't it? When it's just like that. Yep. Cool. If you're only listening to this episode,

I recommend watching just for Tony's face. And I say that for most things. Regularly, yeah. That is good, though. That's fucking good. So it's like sweaty long hair? I'm imagining that it's like a bit of a mane. Yeah.

That is good. I respect that. Audra? Julia Richards. Julia Roberts? No, it's Julia Richards. Is it? Yeah, Julia Dick.

Maybe it's just Julia. Oh, fuck. Oh, I get what you're saying. Sorry. No, Julia. JR. Shit. No last names, Ryan.

I have a few friends that can play the piano quite well. Yeah. And so I think at a party, and how cool is it? Like I don't know how to play the piano and I don't really know anyone that does, but just having a piano in your house is such like a baller move. It's fun. It's fun. And then she said if one of my friends, again, we niche content warning,

plays the theme to Pirates of the Caribbean. I can play that of the Caribbean. I can play that on the flute. Get your flute out, mate. Yep. You play the flute? Yep. I'm not surprised because I've seen it. Can you bring a flute in and play that for Shmulia Richards? Maybe you can play this as well.

Nikki Francis says, it doesn't matter if it's a man or a woman. It's literally whoever I can see first after hearing the extended version of The Way I Are by Timbaland. She's like, I am anyone's when I hear that song. It just sets her right off. Really? Yeah. Well, I have to listen to that song.

Don't you remember it? Yeah, I do, yeah. Let me just the way you are coming, let me say, let me say you handle me the way I'm on. That song? If it's the one I'm thinking of with Kerry Hilson and Nicole Scherzingberger from Pussycat Dolls, the video clip's pretty hot as well, which I reckon contributes to the inception of Nicki getting a bit... Do you fucking remember?

Okay, speaking of music videos, do you remember going to a house party and they would be playing V or MTV on the TV and that's how you would listen to music? Yeah. Because you would just be listening to MTV. Are we going to sound really old when we go, when MTV used to have music on it, I used to watch Rage on the ABC every Saturday morning and used to love it. And I think my cousins who were like doing pretty well. Oh.

Because they had pay tape. We never had cable or satellite TV or Foxtel or anything. But they did. And so it was sort of in the background you would have V or Max and it was just like. Yeah, that's what I mean. Yeah. Whenever we had people over we would always like put on Channel V.

So you were the rich cousins. My parents. Yeah, you were the rich cousins. Not me, I wasn't rich. But my parents had it, yeah. Foxtel growing up. I wasn't rich, but my parents had it. Foxtel growing up.

Not until, okay, not until I was around 13 or 14. So I was older. Like we didn't have it when I was a kid. But I, we had two boxes. And one. Where was the second one? It wasn't in your room. Are you fucking kidding me? It was.

You had a separate satellite TV subscription for your bedroom. Yep. Wow. Wow. Wish I wasn't wearing this expensive fucking jumper right now. Yeah, Nita Bing. Shit. Yeah.

Do ya? Alex Fiasco. Shmalik Shmiasko. Yeah, Nita Bing. Shit. Yeah. Do ya? Alex Fiasco. Shmalik Shmiasko. Oh, shit. Fuck. To be fair, I'm pretty sure it's not pronounced Fiasco. Oh, great. Yeah, that's a thing. You can say whatever you want, it's probably wrong. Alex.

When a guy wears a v-neck shirt and you can see a tiny bit of chest hair sticking out the top, I figuratively die. I do like the chest hair. And this is, you know, Alex, you can do it. You can enjoy whatever you like. This is just my two cents. I do like the chest hair, but a v-neck shirt can get fucked.

I would shrivel up at the sight of a V-neck. I would literally cut my own head off before wearing a V-neck shirt. I hate them. I think they look shocking. I was never a V-neck guy, which is a surprise. Don't pull that face at me because this is the point I'm getting at. You told me the other day that you used to wear scarves. Yeah, but never a V-neck.

A scarf and a V-neck? Never a V-neck. Did you ever do the scarf and the T-shirt? All the time. Yeah. And I was mocked mercilessly by my friends. Was it a V-neck though? No.

But here's the thing. I'm often, because of my dumb decisions such as the scarf and the T-shirt, get put into this V-neck category. You look like a V-neck guy if I'm quite honest. I get that a lot. I get that a lot. How often do I come up? You'd be surprised.

And that's why I brought it up because my friends are like, oh, you know, when you used to wear V-necks, I was like, no, don't put me in that category. Don't put me in that. Shockingly, I didn't know that anyone could look like a V-neck guy, but you look like a V-neck guy. The harshest criticism you could ever give me. That's the meanest thing you could ever say. Well, you look like a V-neck guy. I can't unsee it now.

You're such a V-neck guy. Oh, my God. You're a V-neck guy. That explains so much. It explains a lot. Alex would probably like a bit of you in a V-neck. I hate it here. Alex would like a bit of me.

But I do like saying the chest hair. It's the rugged. Samantha. Hi, Samantha. Last nameless. She's like Madonna. A man in a backwards cap. Specifically, says Samantha, if it's on the right way originally,

but he has to spin it around to do some sort of task. Yep. Can I add a caveat to that? Any hats. Really? Fuck me up in a hat. Yep. Oh, not like a fucking fedora or something.

Oh, of course not. But like a broad brim like wool hat. Like the big, like a. Big bucket hat. No, like the. Broad brim. Like a broad brim. So it's like, you know, those fashion. A mark the big, like a. Big bucket hat. No, like the. Broad brim. Like a broad brim. So it's like, you know, those fashion.

A Mark War, not a Steve War. That's a niche joke. I don't get it. Yeah. Like the fashionable like wool flat brim ones. So not like a cowboy hat. I think I confessed to you once that I had dreams of being a hat guy that wore hats like that. Yeah.

And then you said that Torb started doing it and that just really sent you off. There is like a confidence Torb gets when he puts a hat on. I don't know what it is. Like, you know when you get that swag like just after a haircut or like you wear an outfit that you feel really good in, you kind of stand a bit taller, you're like, it's your yeah, bitch. It's your yeah, bitch.

When Torb wears a hat, he gets this energy that he denies. He's like, I don't think I feel any different. I'm like, you look, you carry yourself way different. You're three inches taller. Yeah. Even just like a, and where it counts. But just like even when he wears like a normal like baseball cap or something, like fuck me up.

Yeah. Okay, you're with Samantha. Yeah, Samantha, I'm on board. This other actually thing that I just realised that Torb does that fucking sends me. So whenever I'm talking to Torbs, right, he's like, we're fucking around normally. Like, we're always having fun and we're, like,

putting on dumb voices or whatever. Like, our favourite thing at the moment is to, like, play fight. Are you doing finger guns at me right now? Yeah, but, like, play fight and be like, oh, pew, got you. Like, you can't get me. And then he goes, oh, no, I've got scissors. I'll cut your hair off. And then, like, yesterday I was like, oh, no, well,

I've got water pistols. Like, pew, pew, pew. Like, now your scissors are all rusty. And he goes, like, oh, I've got oil in my eyes. Like, now my scissors are working. And so I don't know why I've chosen to tell this story. Neither do I, but I'm not hating it. Please, tell me more.

So we're normally fucking around. How are things at home? Really great. It sounds like it. Honestly awesome. Do you guys have any hobbies that you want to take up together? I just said. That could be in place of pew, pew.

It's really fun though. It sounds it. And then he said. It's fun for us listening. This is great. And then he goes, I've got rocket launcher knees. So he's like kneeing me in the legs and like kneeing me in the bum. Fire none of these rockets.

Look out, the rockets are about to launch. We're walking. We're like in the lounge room and we've both got our hoodies on and we're both just like... Anyway, and so when we're hanging out, we're like fucking around or whatever and then Torbs will like jump on the phone for Zoom for work or something and we'll be chatting and I'll be like, do you want a coffee?

He's like, yeah, that sounds really good. Whatever. And he goes, yeah, hey, mate, how are you? And his voice... When he goes into work mode. Oh, my God. That does it for you. Fuck me.

And I'm just, like, sitting next to him, like, on my computer, just, like, thinking about how I'm going to rail him after because I'm, like, listening to him do this hot deep voice. Like, yeah, I've run that bot and I've done this thing and whatever. And he, oh, it blew my mind. This reminds me of something which is a similar vein of this that I can confirm. No.

Frank Green water bottle update. Yeah. I reckon early next week. Oh, my God. Are you about to say the thing that I think you're going to say? Oh, don't. So the bottles are now in warehouses in Kentucky, Texas, Melbourne, and Europe and ready to be sent.

And when I've sent these bottles around the world, I've been dealing with our shipping partners and logistics, and it's a whole nightmare. I've told this story in the Patreon a few times. But when I get a phone call from the shipping guy and I go, oh, hey, mate, I've just updated the WRO. What is it about me doing technical shipping speak that fucking gets you all riled up?

I don't know. I think it's just that you just are switched on. You're like dialed into what you're doing and just you being like, yeah. Because I obviously hear you talk shop. We talk shop all the time about what I also understand. There's something about people talking confidently about something that they understand. Sorry, oh, my God, I'm so flustered.

But something that I don't. Yeah. Oh, fuck, I don't know what he's talking about. I don't know what a WRO, but hopefully it's like wank really off in my face. It's a warehouse receiving order. Fucking receive that order. Whorehouse receiving order. You've had a few receiving orders in your time i'm ready to receive

kimberly says has anyone seen a guy opening a can of drink but in with one hand so when you're holding the kick because you know you hold the can and kind of yeah and do it with the other thing yeah and so holding with one then just goes. I've never seen that. But that does sound cool. I'm just reading what Kimberley said. Okay, yep. So the can. When my husband does that, I just take him off to the bedroom.

Ooh. So he'll be sitting there having a beer and she's like, come on, bud. Mate, you know what it does. Mate, you know what it does. You know what it does. He's like, I'm watching the game, Kimberley. She's like, mate, you put out your mating call. I can't, like, what do you want me to do? It's science.

Do you have a mating call? No. Oh, it's time. Kaya, final one. When a guy wears a shirt that's just a little bit too short and you can see about two centimetres of his belly when he raises his arms up, Kaya says, that'll pretty much do me.

I love that. I actually love that. Yes, I know what you're talking about. You do it sometimes. That makes me nervous because I feel like I've got, like, you know, COVID. Belly is a... No, dad bod. You're all about that, aren't you?

Yeah, I'm a human being with two eyes and a heartbeat. Of course I'm into a dad bod. The fuck? Well, so is Kaya. And the little belly comes up. Oh, now I'm self-conscious about my... So I shouldn't be. Is that something I should be...

Yeah, it's nice. I think it's good. Floating around. Do you know what it is? Flaunting. I think it's because I know that you're never going to waste time at the gym. You're just going to hang out with me. Should I be offended by that guy? Now there's a man who's

not going to waste time not hanging out with me exercising. There's a guy who's going to get a souvlaki after the show. And I'm super lucky. Yeah, very lucky. Very lucky, super lucky. Hey, it's Myra from California, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A big thank you to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon.

You can check out all the information that you need in our show notes. Carolyn Dares. How dares she? What was that? That's me doing my news anchor voice. Oh, my mistake. Frauk Schiller. Love that.

Delilah Schultz. Kathleen S. Sam Ashmore. Sam, my mistake. Yeah. Frauk Schiller. Love that. Delilah Schultz. Kathleen S. Sam Ashmore. Sam Ashless. Is that what I'd say to that? Yeah. Sarah Cordano. Oh, what a name. Sarah Cordano.

She's probably extremely good looking. Oh, you can tell. Lorraine Coulter. Chris Rowe. Thank you. Amanda Marston. Trey Doremo. And Kelsey Roush, thank you.

Thank you very much. Some fucking strong names, eh? Yeah. I think it's because my name's Tony Lodge and that just is a shit name. According to who? That's the name of the greatest person in the world. No, Tony Lodge. Yeah, and you're named after them. Are you mishearing?

It's also your name. Is there any other Tony Lodges in the world? No, whenever I Google myself, there's like one old woman that has the same name. How often do you Google yourself? This is like, you know, just the other day for the first time that I'd ever done it. But no, whenever I, if you Google me, all it comes up is like

random hotels, like Lodge. Oh, the Tony, yeah. Yeah. The Tony Lodge. Yes. Yes. Yeah, that's strange. Oh, the Tony, yeah. Yeah. The Tony Lodge. Yes. Yes. Yeah, that's strange. No, I hate my name.

I think it's shit. I was supposed to be called Molly and I like that way more. Molly Lodge. Yeah. That sounds like a place where you've got to get back. Where are you going tonight? I'm staying in the Molly Lodge. This would freak you out, Tony.

And I want to know what anyone else would do if they were propositioned by a retail worker like I was the other day. I need more information. So we just moved into this new studio in the last month. I love it. And we bought these lamps and some of the blue lights. You kind of see a bit of the shine off and bits and pieces of our computers. Did you buy this wallet?

Not the other. I was just going to show you credit card information. That's the last time I leave my wallet on the bed. Your driver's license? Don't show it. What are you? Stop it. Risky.

What's in here? Get my shit back. Is there a condom in here? That feels like something that boys have in their wallet? Not when you're trying to start a family. Oh, that's what we've been going wrong. Oh, and then when it's in the condom, then what do I do with it? That was graphic as fuck.

I'm sorry. You started flicking it. Did I make you do that? Yeah, you did. Okay, tell me wholeheartedly that I forced you into making that joke. Stop it. Oh, if anyone's watching the podcast as well, you went, what do I do?

Oh, it was very graphic. Anyway, so the person at the retail shop. Now, I don't want to out them. So what should we call this place? What about somewhere I'd love to work? Shmay be hi-fi. Okay. Yep.

Isn't that where you'd love to work? You've always said that. Yeah. Yeah, it is. But then I thought that maybe that was enough. You've now said. But, I mean, who's going to figure out what shmashmashmy5 is? Okay.

Yeah. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All good. So something I got for this studio. Yes. It was very specific technical little cable thing that we needed. And it turns out that the one that they said you need this one,

it wasn't the one we needed. Yeah, and we actually asked someone while we were there. Quite specifically. We were like, does it have this thing? And she went, yeah, dude. Yeah. It didn't. It didn't.

It didn't work. They lied. And because of who I am as a person, I didn't take it back right away. I also didn't delicately take it out of the box. To put it lightly, you ripped the box open. Like the back, you know how the tab like that you slide open? It was ripped all the way down. Like it was not good.

And so I went back about three weeks later. Not the next day or whatever. Did you have the receipt at least? No. They text it to you. Oh, but I said I think you texted it to me. Can you look it up? I wasn't prepared.

That's not good. If I worked at Shrein Shrein Shrein Fire, I could only dream of that, but I wouldn't have been happy. So I said, look, mate, we asked for this specific cable. It wasn't the right cable. I don't want to cause a fuss, but I needed this one specific thing for this one specific purpose, and it's not right. Did you actually say that?

Yeah. And I was like, I just, what's the deal here? And he goes, well, is the box in good tact? And you went, thanks so much, see you later. Yeah, have a great day. You know what I actually thought? What? The first thing I thought of was you, when I was in here,

literally standing over me going, do you want to fucking rip that box a bit harder, mate? I was like, what if you need to take it back? And you were like, oh, now we asked that chick. Yeah. I was wearing my V-neck. Fake news at the end. Everything else correct.

Fucking V-neck at a maybe. Smirefire. They wouldn't let you in, I reckon. No, they're too cool for that. I reckon if you went in there in a shit outfit, a la V-neck, they wouldn't let you in, I reckon. No, they're too cool for that. I reckon if you went in there in a shit outfit, I love your neck. Absolutely fucking love it. They wouldn't let you in. So as soon as they said you shouldn't have ripped the box,

I was like, Tony Lodge. I hate when she's right. I hate when I'm wrong. Sometimes anxiety pays off. It does. Not often, but sometimes. A few times in recent times. Yes.

So he's like, look, because the box is ripped and it's been past 24 hours, 48, whatever, he's like, we can't do a refund. Fuck. But then he looks at me, he goes, I can't exchange it for those reasons. Okay. But then he looks at me and he goes, is it true the wire was sticking out? Like, what do you mean? That's what I said.

And he goes, because if the wire is sticking out, then it's a faulty product and we can replace it. No. And I went, what? And then I was, oh, oh. Oh. And then I was, oh, oh. Oh. So he goes, I can help you get the proper cable if you help me by explaining about the wire that was sticking out.

Because if a wire is sticking out, then, of course, it's a safety issue, which is apparently a different category of whatever. A refund or whatever. Like when it's safety, it's like, of course, quick's a safety issue, which is apparently a different category of whatever. A refund or whatever. Like when it's safety, it's like, of course, quick, give them their money back. But when it's just like a whatever. And I went, oh, what? And he goes, so was the wire sticking out? And he was like.

So in one instant, what you've got to decide is, is this person trying to do what I think that they're doing? And am I going to go along with it? And am I going along? Well, yeah, it gets worse. So I went, yep, the wire was sticking out. And he goes, great, because the wire was sticking out, there's this separate safety form. So can you write down where it stuck out and then sign here at the bottom?

There's a paper trail. You've committed a crime and now there's a paper trail. He just needs the customer to confirm because if he, you know, if a staff member's just writing stuff off. Yeah, that looks super dodgy. Yeah. Which it kind of is. I mean, maybe he's using this, maybe this bloke's using the cable

because he's like, well, we just throw it out because the wire. I don't know. I don't know what happened to it. But I was like, okay. So I had to select. There was like a multiple choice on the screen and then you press it and then it prints out a thing. And you know how they've got like, actually,

because we don't know what store it is, it was printed. And they're like, cool. So you sign here for the fault and then you sign on this other thing for the refund and this form will put the money back and this form is for us to say that, yes, the customer has confirmed about the wire. So can you sign here? And I thought, oh.

Did you just fake name? Well, because I purchased it under my real name. So you know what I mean? Oh, so we should always purchase things under a fake name. Is the moral of the story. So I thought it was one thing to go, yep, that's what happened. But it was another thing to sign on the dotted line. Tony Lodge, what would you do?

I feel like I probably would have gone with the first part. And then when they said, actually, no, who am I kidding? I wouldn't have taken them back. I wouldn't have even gotten in the shop. I would have just gone, oh, I'll find another use for that thing at some point. Because for you, is it the laziness that's been discussed this week of going back, the hassle, or is it the awkwardness of asking? Oh, probably a bit of both, but I'd probably look at it on the table and go, oh, I've got

to fucking take that thing back. And then I wouldn't do it. And then I'd be there again. I'd go, fuck, I should have brought that thing in with me and I wouldn't have even thought about it. And it'd be in the back of your car three years later. Yeah. And then someone would go, oh, what's that thing?

I'd go, oh, I've got to return that to Joby on my fire that I bought in Melbourne. I now live in Darwin. Return it to where? Uh, uh, schlinkalinkalong. Oh, schlinkalinkalong. Oh, yeah. I now live in Darwin. Return it to where? Shlinkalinkalong. Oh, Shlinkalinkalong. Oh, yeah. I've been there.

They've got great stuff. Yeah, I've never had a wire stick out from there. Yeah, from the pillow that I bought. Yes, from the Shlinkalinkalong. Anyway. I can confirm that there was a wire sticking out. Great customer service. Great customer service. Tony should have worked there when she was younger wire sticking out. Great customer service. Great customer service.

Tony should have worked there when she was younger. I tried. I know. And the money is in my account. Not even like a store credit or a new one. Money straight back in the account. I have a question. How much money was it?

It was, were you there when we bought it? I think it was like $120. That is still on the edge of me being like, fuck, is that worth it? $120? Think how many Lucky Suvlaki's you could have for that? Oh, yeah, that's a good point. $10 a pot, probably $12. You know what we should do? What?

Go and buy one Suvlaki, then go back there, put a wire in it, so there's a wire sticking out of this side. I'll throw it out for you, though. Yeah, but we'll still take it. Two for one. Two for one. That's a great deal. That's a great deal. there's a wire sticking out of this side. Wire sticking out. I'll throw it out for you though. Yeah, but we'll still take it. Two for one. Two for one. That's a great deal. That's a great deal.

That's a great deal. But thank you to the great customer service. At Shinkalinkalong. At Shinkalinkalong. Really appreciate it. And I've said it before, but I will say it again. When everyone finishes high school, they should be forced to work in hospitality or customer service for one year because everyone who works in hospo is more patient

and more considerate to other people that work in hospo and customer service. Totally agree. It's like should be the service. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What did you love to see this week?

I saw this article and it is the headline is Thai zoo staff chases after man dressed up as an ostrich in training exercise. To help, so this just fucking sent me, I'm going to show you a picture of what the, so this is the ostrich in question. Yep. You see that?

So. Hang, just read that headline again. Sorry, there's just so much to absorb. Sorry, I appreciate that. Let me slow it down. Thai zoo staff chases after man dressed up as ostrich in training exercise. Okay, so they need to practice chasing ostriches. So they're like,

Oi, Simon, can you put this ostrich thing on and Carl will chase you, get a bit of practice. Yep. So what initially appeared to be an escaped ostrich turned out to be a Thai zoo employee dressing the part to train staff members on how to respond when an animal escapes. I mean, you've got to train somewhere. So to help train staff at the Chiang Mai Zoo in Thailand, they dress up and they escape to try and teach them how to run after them, how to maybe grab them.

And they escape to try and teach them how to run after them, how to maybe grab them. But it just fucking sent me because, like, obviously the size is totally different. And, like, the speed. The speed. The recall. Literally every single thing about it. Like, there is nothing real world experience about what they're actually doing. They could have just chased a guy. Yeah.

And just said, pretend that's an animal. There's literally no need for the costume. This sounds like, dare I say it, a Brooklyn Nine-Nine episode. Just like real silly. Yeah. Yeah. And so I saw it and I was like, is this legit? And it is.

It's the way that they actually train their staff to like catch rogue animals. But I just thought, isn't that, you know how we've talked about before, like some things are just nice, some things are just fun. I'm wondering if they've looked at this and gone, what a great opportunity for us to have a bit of a laugh. Yeah. And, I mean, it's gone viral. So if you're heading to Thailand, maybe check out the Chiang Mai Zoo. Because why wouldn't you?

Why wouldn't you? It's a great zoo. Here's what I reckon has happened. Someone has ordered an ostrich, was it an ostrich? Yeah. An ostrich outfit for a dress-up party. And then they've gone to the party, they've had a great time. What am I going to do

with this now? What are we going to do with this? Yeah. We tried to take it back. There wasn't a wire sticking out. The guy didn't give us the wink-wink, nah-nuh. So what are we going to do with it? We're not just going to leave it in the cupboard for 10 years. Yeah. Because when are we going to need that again? I've got it. Yep. Eureka! Let in the cupboard for 10 years. Yeah. Because when are we going to need that again? I've got it. Yeah. Eureka.

Let's use it for training at the zoo. We'll take it to work. And then we can write that off as a tax. Pretty good. That is 100%. And then the tax department's like, are you sure you did that? And he's like, mate, read the articles. To be honest, they all look pretty serious.

So I'm not sure. But I fucking, yeah, hopefully they got a good deal. What I'm loving is Tarp is really understanding the mindset of Tony Lodge. And even in this episode, we've learned how you don't like to bother people. You don't like to, you know. I don't. Don't like to do that. I know you might have approved this Facebook post, actually.

It was someone just saying, oh, I'm so sorry to bother you. And then it's the lifeguard pulling you to shore going, oh, that's fine. Because nothing, that would happen to Tony. Yes, 100%. I'd be like, is there something, did you want to, are you on lunch? It's okay, just let me drown. Yeah, it's actually all good. Yeah, I can wait a bit longer. Yeah, it a bit longer if you've got something you need to do.

If you're hanging out. Sorry. Yeah. I would do that. Like a what? Absolutely. Just swam out there, ran like Baywatch. They're on that little thing, you know, that little floaty that they get.

They've punched a shark and they're like, all right, now's the time. And you're like, oh, sorry, it's fine. I'll just drown and die. Did you want to help someone else? Yeah. No, I definitely would do that. Yeah. And I saw that and laughed, but then I didn't know if I was like.

Is this funny? Is this funny? Because it's that accurate. You know what I mean? It's very accurate. It's like someone wrote that about me. Yeah. I haven't seen that actually.

So that's fucking gold. That's very good. Fucking good. Thank you so much for sharing that. And thanks for watching the Vodcast. Yay. Thank you so much. I hope you're enjoying it. Let us know in the Facebook group on the episode thread. Yeah. Yeah's very good. Fucking good. Thank you so much for sharing that. And thanks for watching the vodcast. Yay! Thank you so much. If you're enjoying us, let us know in the Facebook group on the episode thread.

Yeah. Love that. Have a great weekend. Guess what we're doing now? So lucky. Yeah. Oh, we need to finish the episode doing our things. Oh, yes. This is me tapping the papers down.

Oh, cheers. It's really hard to laugh and drink at the same time from a straw. Love you, bye. love you bye can I go get a sooblocky now? yeah for a limited time, switch to Shopify point of sale, and you could save up to 20% and improve your bottom line. We're so serious about savings, we've made this ad 20% shorter. That means you get six seconds back. Just enough time to visit Shopify.com slash POS20.

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