Toni and Ryan - Borrowing A Plunger

Episode Date: October 11, 2022

Ryan had a little.... shituation.... and you'll LOVE my involvement. Also sorry for my congested little nose today! Love u! Toni xoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hello. We're calling Mike. Hi, Mike. Tell him what you just said. Oh, he hasn't answered yet. No. No.

No. Hello? Hey, is this Mike? It is. Oh, it's Tony and Ryan. Hey, Tony. Hey, Ryan. Howdy.

Sorry we're running a little bit late. It's Ryan's fault. It's not. That's a little bit my fault. That's a little bit my fault. I was going to say, that's very unlike him. Yeah, thank you, Mike, because everyone knows who's running this ship. And, Mike, would you like to approve this podcast?

I would love to approve this podcast. Thank you, sir. Thanks, Mike. Are you a bit turned on by Mike? No, I just, nah, it's all good. Thanks, Mike. A big, a strong Texas man. Yeah, it is always bigger in Texas, isn't it?

That's what they say. I've done a lot of investigative research, and I can confirm that a lot of things are bigger here. Fuck, I need some cold water and a ciggy after that. Oh, my gosh. Mike, can I, as someone who used to work in academia for a while, thank you for your research, mate, because it's a hard job, but someone's got to do it.

Yeah, someone had to put pen to paper, and it was definitely me. That's what you call him. This is Mike from Dallas, Texas, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. from Dallas, Texas, and I approve this podcast. Coming up on the podcast today, another situation. But first of all, one of us is not feeling well and it is not I. It's me. How are you? I'm just recovering from a little bit of a cold and recovering, you know, means probably a bit further along.

This morning when I left the house, I forgot my glasses. Wow. How did you get out of the house without your glasses? Well, yeah, it's kind of like a chicken or the egg situation Yeah, how bad is your To forget them, you must need them to know to not need them So how bad is your sight without them? It's not too bad if I'm not trying to like look on my phone

Or at the computer or something And so like to get out of the house was kind of like a bit weird But I was like, oh, it's early, it's cold, like maybe it's whatever. It's cold? I don't know. Why can't I see? Oh, it's below 10 degrees. Contracted my retinas or something.

So what was the moment you realised you weren't wearing them? I got to the lift and I was like, that's weird. And then I was like, oh, my God. Are you serious? Like, you know what I mean? I was like, that is special. So you go to press the one that says G for ground, but all the buttons just look the same?

They're all a bit blurry. They're all a bit red. No, I was just like, oh, my God, I'm, like, not wearing my glasses, which is just, like, hell. I got to high school one day and was planning on wearing shoes and just got there without them. How could you leave a house without shoes on? Well, that's what people would say about your glasses.

Yeah, that's true. I went once to the gym to like a group fitness class and the chick running the class like gets up and she's like, cool, we're going to do our warm-up. And then like starts jumping up and down and like grabs her chair. She's like, oh, my God, I forgot to wear a bra. Oh, my God. I was like, you're a fitness instructor.

It's part of the uniform, a sports bra underneath. I know. And she's like the whole class. She's, like, bouncing around. She was a boob holder. If that was me, I would have knocked myself out. Yeah, that would be a very short class. Yeah, tit to the face.

Yeah. But also what a great excuse to go home and not do it. But you're the instructor. You're in theory if one person wants to be there. Oh, yeah, that's true. Yeah, she's probably pretty into it. Yeah, is this Thai Bo or self-defense? I've got these things attacking me from below.

What's Thai Bo? Like Thai a bow, like on a present? No, it's such like an old reference. I think it was a type of like a gym class, but it's like you kickboxing and punching. Like boxercise. Yes, yes. But it was like, oh, do you Thai Bo?

I love those classes. Zumba, Thai Bo, whatever that is. It was very Zumba era when Zumba was like the hot new craze. Everyone's mum did Zumba. Yeah. Everyone's mum did Zumba. Did your mum do Zumba? Yeah, she did.

She was alive then. Okay, great. Yeah, that's good. Good for her. That is a throwback then. Go mum. Yeah, fucking years ago. Years ago.

All right, let's get into, and I feel bad for this, but are you ready and capable to audio queen today? I've got a really hot tea here. Yeah. So I feel like as long as I don't overextend too much. But this segment is Tony overextending. Well, I mean, just talking normally right now is kind of overextending, so I feel like I'm doing a great job.

Just go for it, yeah. Can I just let the record show that yesterday when I knew you were on a bit of a downward spiral that I offered and said I felt bad about Audio Queen and I said, hey, maybe we'll skip it this week, and you went, nah, nah. Mate, fill a break. I didn't have anything else to talk about. I was like, have you got something else to talk about?

You're like, nah, clean me up, Doug. We've got to do it. All right. Texas Pete Hot Sauce. I'm regretting this already. Yep. It turns out it's actually made in North Carolina. And they're getting sued because Texas Pete Hot Sauce is not from Texas.

Why would they be getting? Who's suing them? The state? Like. texas why would they be getting who's suing them the state like a californian guy who feels like he's been duped with false advertising what can i say to the people from the us who are listening which is a big probably 28 i mean no one from australia listens so when people say what do americans do do you want to say that again? When people ask, what do Americans do? The answer for the rest of the world is, oh,

that's just that country where everyone sues each other for dumb shit. There's literally like 10 TV shows about small claims court. Yeah. People's Court, Judge Judy, like all of those, like that's literally all they do. Yeah, and that's all the rest of the world thinks of you. Oh, that place where you just go sue? And I think something happened to us once and someone was like,

oh, you should sue them. And we're like, oh, no, we don't live in America. Yeah, like we don't do that. You'd go to court and they'd be like, what the fuck are you doing here? I've literally never even had the thought of like, oh I'll sue them. Yeah. Like that's just not like a

We didn't grow up in that. No. It's a culture. No. Anyway, so some guy in California is like, it's false advertising, I'm going to sue you. That is so ridiculous. It's so embarrassing for that guy. like, it's false advertising. I'm going to sue you. That is so ridiculous. It's so embarrassing for that guy. And, like, it's going to get thrown out of court pretty damn quick. Surely, because it's not, like, breaking the law.

No, it's a name. Like. And you go to the website and it's like, yep, it's made in our factory in North Carolina. It's owned by this old bloke and his three sons run it and they're a North Carolina family. But, like, it's like like they've been tricking us. And the company's like, it says pretty clearly,

like we're not, yeah, we've never pretended it's not. That's just what it's called because it's the Texas recipe or the Texas stuff. And when I hear Texas hot sauce, I can imagine what it would taste like. Yeah. It's more that Texas is synonymous with that rather than it being like, oh, pretend we're from Texas. Yeah.

Not everyone's out to get you, bro. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? Like, I've had Asian food in Australia. Yeah, that's not false advertising. Did they ship it directly from Japan? Nah, a guy just made it out the back. This is horseshit.

This is a Japanese restaurant. That is the, sorry, that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard. Okay. Well, Texas Pete Hot Sauce is actually from North Carolina. It's not from Texas. So here is a big Texas cowboy, and he's proud to be from Texas. And then when he's chomping into his hot wings with his delicious Pete's Hot Sauce, he hears on the radio, which we'll hear, that it's actually from North Carolina.

And because he's a patriotic Texan, he is devastated by the news. All right. Last week, I think it was, we realised that the audio queen was taking on too much. I'd love it if you could be the breaking news. Okay, great. You just give me the nod and I'll. So I'll be the Texan guy. Have you brought me in a big hat?

No. No. Okay. But you know what? I, as a former lover of a physical comedy prop, appreciate that you're on the prop train. That I lived for it. Yeah, and that if you want that in future,

I can start preparing in advance. Okay. Well, I think that for this one specifically, it probably would have been nice. Okay. But that's okay. Right. You doggies can't wait to have my wags.

Oh, yeah. Oh, it's crystallized with the Texas hot sauce. Oh, yeah. Let me lick this till next Tuesday. Hello, Breaking News. This is actually in the 1940s. Breaking News, everyone. It turns out Texas Pete Hot Sauce is actually from North Carolina.

I'll trade you the streets. I've never been so disgusted in all my life. I wouldn't put shit from North Carolina up my ass if my life depended on it. Why would you put it in your ass anyway? Well, he wouldn't do that even if it depended on his life.

I wouldn't put this chicken wing in my ass. Well, I wouldn't have thought you would. Oh, fuck, it says you breaking girls. Or extra, extra, I don't know about it. Hey. Have a look here, see. You wanted help? You got help.

I actually, it was nice doing it as a team, don't you think? Yeah, I liked it. I'm happy to, hey, just happy to be involved. Now, the next one, you're going to have to bring a visual to life. So let me bring you that visual. You're about to see the pinnacle of artistic expression. Oh, wow. about to see the pinnacle of artistic expression oh wow now this suburban bogan dad is going to describe a handbag that was entered into an art competition in perth oh my god i've seen this it

is so fantastic i'll just show it to you again it's on my phone oh my god so it's a knitted or like hang on is it you describing or is it suburban Bogan dad who is an art? Oh, sorry. All right. An art connoisseur. What do they call those art people who are like. Art connoisseur. I like that.

Yeah. Like the ice cream made. I like a bit of that on a Friday night. All right. So could you say, hey, dad, did you say this? Hey, dad, did you say this? Check this out. Oh, show me little Jimmy.

What do you got there, mate? Oh, fucking get down, mate. That's a bit of bloody all right, isn't it? They got a bloody chook like a handbag, like what me missus carries. Fuck me sideways, mate. That's bloody gorgeous. God, they've even got the price tag on there. Oh, even though sometimes when you go into Coles,

they don't even have these chooks anymore. The girls in the deli really aren't like what they used to be. Wow, since Tony Lodge left. Yeah, there used to be these girls at the Maddington Deli when I used to go there. That's all right. Bye, the bye. Fucking hell, mate.

That is beautiful. Oh, we'll have to get Nan one of those. She loves a hot chook, doesn't she? Well, I can confirm that not only was this up for the Joondalup Art Prize, it won the Joondalup Art Prize. Congratulations. I think it is good. If you know anything about Perth, it makes it even funnier

that it was in Joondalup. Yeah, it really does, doesn't it? It's like really far out of the city. It's like the northest place the train goes like it's perfection it's so good um i retweeted it saying tell me why i love perth without telling me why i love perth oh my god that and that's just and as soon as i solicit this is such a and then i read the camera yeah of course it's from june to like you said i actually can't believe that it's never been done before you know when you see something and you're like,

how is that the first time? And this is one of those occasions? I looked at that and going, well, of course no one's done that because who makes a handbag that looks like a chicken bag? It's just such a good idea that I'm like, of course that's a thing that someone's done. I'll put in the episode thread on Facebook, by the way. It's really a piece of art.

It makes me really want to roast Chuck. Did we say that this other day? Probably. Yeah, I think last time we were recording we were like. Because we were talking about the tiger rolls, I think. And shout out to everyone who heard about the tiger rolls and went and enjoyed one for themselves. That was pumped.

Now Chris Pratt is voicing Mario in an upcoming Super Mario Brothers movie, which is certainly a choice. A choice, yep. Yep. And everyone's thinking like, so what kind of voice is this like very normal white dude going to do for a very cartoonish Italian character? Yeah, because Chris Pratt's got like obviously quite a like southerly kind of like drawly voice at times.

So the trailer comes out. Yeah. And this is what it sounds like. Chris Pratt being Mario. What is this place? And so everyone has just discovered that the voice Chris Pratt is going to do for Mario is just Chris Pratt talking. Because he talked a big game beforehand.

So this is actually the first time I've heard this. Yeah, Google Trailer just came out, yeah. And he talked a big game beforehand. He's like, you're going to love what I've done with it. Well, you haven't really done anything with it. I'll tell you what you've done. You've picked up the script on the way into the studio. Yeah.

Yeah. What is this place? Cool. Wario. Okay. Cool. All right. We'll hit record dial.

That is nothing. You could have done that. Yeah. I mean, anyone could have. Now, if he had done an Italian voice, it probably would have been fucked. If he's done his normal voice, it's probably fucked, which makes us all again go, why are we choosing Chris Pratt? Yeah.

I believe they should have hired Tony Lodge, the audio queen. Now here is a scene where Mario is ordering lunch from the cafe. Yep. And asking the staff if they've seen a cute little princess. Princess Peach, if you will. Oh, beautiful. And, of course, because Tony Lodge is an enthusiastic voice actor, she's given it the real Italian flavour that Mario deserves.

Yeah, and I play a lot of Mario at home, so I'm going to base this off the Mario that I know. Okay. Not the Chris Pratt version. Hey, it's me, Mario. Could I please get a fuck chair? While I am here, I would like to know if you have seen a beautiful princess. I sound like a borat.

Which is not what I am trying to do. Could I also get a short long black or whatever Italians drink? Espresso. That's better. Like, we laugh, but that is better. They 100% should go with that. I'll do it. Tell them. Should we tweet them or something? I reckon wait till your voice

and cold clears up. I think the cold makes it better. And that makes one of us. Yeah, okay. Alright. Well, I'll just go back to fucking bed. Thanks for coming in today. I think the cold makes it better. And that makes one of us. Yeah, okay. All right. Well, I'll just go back to fucking bed. Thanks for coming in today. I do appreciate it. This is Mike from Dallas, Texas, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. You can check it out whenever you like. We do live streams once a month for champion tapas. Exclusive tapas and above get my daily blog. It's not fucking daily. Weekly blog. You can vote on the movies that we watch every Monday. You can also apply to approve the podcast.

So the first phone call that you hear at the beginning of the episode is a tap off from our Patreon. Daniel Francis, thank you so much. Amy Foster. Oh, Foster relationship with Amy. Rami Zilko. Maddie Moo Dillon. Danny Salas. Chantel Hayne.

Rihanna Letts. Oh, let's go out for a beer, Rihanna. Rihanna Letts. Oh, let's go out for a beer, Rihanna. Rihanna. Is that a song I'm supposed to know? Fleetwood Mac. I thought you were singing a Rihanna song and I was like, this is not familiar. Do you think that Rihanna would sing about herself?

No, because she's not Shauna Paul. Yeah, or Shauna Paul. Jordan Rosenfield, Ella Fournier, Alfie Wallace and Valerie Gibbons. Valerie's a hot name, eh? Is that the one you got? Nah, Vivian. It's just you and the Vs, bro. You love a V.

Love a V. Not afraid to say so. And thank you to everyone for being a champion, Tata. Thank you. We'd love to V it. We'd love to V it. Even though we're both adults, I feel like. Sorry, I'm just, I'm really excited about taking a backseat

for the next however long it takes you to tell this story because it's, oh, my God. Yep. Even though we're all adults, sometimes there's things that shouldn't be a bit awkward that are a part of everyday life, but they're still awkward. A.K.A. buying condoms. Oh, my God. I literally want to throw up when I think about buying condoms.

It's so disgusting. Yeah. That's the only reason I want to have children, so that I don't have to buy condoms. Toilet paper. It's just always embarrassing. And you know when you buy like a special pack and you just know that people

are looking at you wanting to go, oh, have you got the runs? Like because you bought the big pack. Big weekend, bud. Yeah. What have you got planned? Oh, yeah. And they see what else you've got in your trolley and they're like, oh, you are having the Texas mix sauce from North Carolina.

Yeah. So, Tony, after a situation which ended up with a bit of a poop soup at your house a few weeks ago, you told a harrowing tale. Harrowing is appropriate here, yep. When you went to the Bunnings hardware store and you needed to get a plunger. And was there someone that they listened to the podcast? Yeah, a few people recognised me while I was in there.

It was so fucking embarrassing. And it's like not subtle. Like it's not as if you could kind of pick it up and, like, cover it with a magazine. Or put it in your pocket. Or, you know. After paying for it, obviously. Yeah, yeah.

But you can't kind of cover it up. You're, like, walking around with a plunger. Yeah. And everyone's like, mate, she's gone to town on something this morning. Oh, my God. So I found my. But I did that. You did it.

I did it. Torbs didn't go. I fucking went. Yeah, and I respect that. And I went by myself. And I had to ask for help as well. I had to say to someone, I can't find a plunger. Can you please help me? Like I just want people to remember how much I took on for the team,

for my family. Yeah, you did. Torbolochers in my household. I did it. And you are a trooper and you are a team player and I'll never hear anyone say anything different to that. I appreciate that. Now, let's hear it.

So there was a certain situation at my house. Uh-huh. But after hearing your harrowing tale, I was like, I've heard what's going on at Bunnings down the road. After hearing how awful it was for Tony, why would I, knowing what I know now, put myself through a situation like that? Oh, my God.

I don't want to do it. And a situation it was. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, I messaged you and was like, do they deliver? What's the deal? Well, in fact, you said they do deliver, but it's like. It's three to five business days.

Yeah. And I was like, is there a place that does like, you know, like Milk Run, Uber Eats, Situation Edition? Maybe there should be an app just called Situation where you don't have to speak to someone. They turn up, knock on the door. You just like nod towards the bathroom. They don't say anything.

They don't look you in the eye. Like it is what it is. Well, I think that's a plumber. No, but like it's a discreet service with an app. You don't have to call them. You don't have to say your name. You just say like situation emergency. And then you just leave the door open and they go to town.

Well, we'll patent that so that no one can steal the idea. Good call. So I just want you to know that even me messaging you to say that we're in a situation, there's a certain level of like trust. And like for me to reach out in itself is embarrassing. And I, for my family did that do you at least appreciate that there's still a even though we're like pretty tight yeah and we've shared a lot of stories there's still that like oh do I really want to give Tony the

pleasure of knowing that I've also been in a situation I was really touched because you don't do that to just anyone no it's a sign of close friendship. I think so. Don't give me this, oh, I took her out to a nice fancy restaurant. No. A true friend calls for a plunger. Yeah. A true friend is someone that you could ask for a plunger,

ask them to help you take a tampon out that's gone in too far or something. Oh, we haven't got there. I nearly had to call you that last night though. Hey, Tony, what's this? there. I nearly had to call you that last night though. Hey Tony what's this? Sorry Tony's trying not to laugh and

blow litres of mucus out of her face but the face of you laughing and holding it in at the same time was a real sight. Wow yeah. Yeah yeah. Sorry about that everyone. Yeah oh no I feel so selfish that I was the only one who got to see it. Hey this is a snotuation, okay?

So I say, Tony, I know you have a plunger. Instead of me going to the hardware store and embarrassing myself and feeling like an asshole, can I just borrow yours? And I believe you were quick to say, you can't borrow it. You can just fucking have it. I don't want that back. Yeah, so that was my first thought. I'm like, you know what, I don't really want that to then, you know, I don't want to put that back in my car or, you know, whatever.

Yeah, yeah. So you rock up and you deliver, which was incredible, thank you. So you rock up, dare I say it like excited? I was excited. Yeah. When someone needs you, it's nice. Is it nice? Don't you think?

I like that. But like there's still a situation going on. I think I just thought it was funny as well because like your wife doesn't poo. Wow. So I know whose problem it was. Well, that was an interesting conversation that was in our household considering I hadn't been in the bathroom for a while. But because my wife doesn't poo, like, what a mystery,

it was probably the dog. Exactly. BJ's using the toilet. So you walk up to the front door and you're like, here it is. And I sort of, like, take it out of your hands and you're, like, sort of trying to get back. Like, oh, cool, yeah, let's see what we got. What are we working with here?

And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Okay. Was I aggressive in not letting you in the house? You were, yeah. Yeah. I wasn't, I didn't want to see the situation. But you were definitely like trying to get into the house. You were eager.

I just saw my friend on the weekend. I just thought I didn't realize how much of an emergency it was. I thought you were like, oh, next time we go, going to have to use this. I didn't realise how. Immediate? Yes. Yeah.

So I'm like, thanks, Tony. And you're like, oh, yeah, should we come? And I was like, nope, no need to come in the house. And there was a bit of back and forth. And as I was just trying to usher you off, Torbs rocks up. Because he'd come as well. Yeah, Torbs came too. Who brings a date to a situation?

And so he's like, oh, how are you going? Do you want me to have a look? And he's trying to get in the house. I'm like, guys, you're not coming in the house. There's a situation back here. And you giddy little, you know, boyfriend and girlfriend have rolled in and they're like, oh, what a fun day out. Can we get in there?

Look at what's going on. The reason I bought Torbs is because I didn't want to hold the plunger. Whilst you're driving. No, I didn't. Well, no, but I didn't want to carry it. Right. So I was like, you can carry it. So he had to roll the plate. No, I didn't. Well, no, but I didn't want to carry it. Right. So I was like, you can carry it. So he had a role to play.

He's the mule of the plunger. And then I just thought, you know, how nice. We'll come around and see our friends. We just didn't realise that it was going to be so, you know. We only have one bathroom, one toilet. So there's no like, I'll just use the other one. I did say, offer you guys my keys, remember? You did.

I said if you guys need to use the bathroom and you can't get it sorted, you're more than welcome. So I don't allow you guys in. I put my mask on. Uh-huh. I really commit to the role. I get ready to plunge. I go into the bathroom.

I've shooed you guys off. I've had to wrap you guys up. This is all I know. Like up until this point, I don't know the rest of the story. So I upshared you guys off, put you back into your car. Bridge came and said hi. I was like, thanks for coming, guys. See you soon.

See you guys soon, huh? Yep. So I go in there. And you know how you're going to like give like a courtesy flush? Like when it's like just as, you know, because there's no water in it at this stage. No water? Well, it had gone down and then it's like kind of blocked, blocked.

So I was like, I'll give it a courtesy flush. Because you've been doing the like hot water down the bowl to try and get it to move and stuff. All the hot water, all the vinegar, all the stuff. We tried everything, none of it had worked. Oh, my gosh. So I give it a courtesy flush and it just goes down and it's fine. Which is probably a good thing.

If I didn't just put myself through the embarrassment of Googling around, calling Bunnings to ask if they delivered on the day, calling you, seeing your big, dumb, dopey grin, seeing Torbs shuffle in, looking all cute in his sexy little pants. And then I go back in, pushed it, and I just went down. And I was like, I just put myself through all that embarrassment for nothing. So we saved the day.

No. Yes. Because you guys try to usher us out of the house for 10 minutes instead of just letting us in like kind hosts. It was obviously the soaking it needed. Well, it turns out that's the case. usher us out of the house for 10 minutes instead of just letting us in like kind hosts it was obviously the soaking it needed well it turns out that's the case and it reminds me of this uh i think this guy went to france right on exchange or whatever yeah and he doesn't speak french yet and the point of going to france is to like learn the language sure yeah and he's staying with the

local family and stuff yeah so he's Like live with a local family and stuff. So he's moved in with a local family. Beautiful. And he's done some harrowing work in the bathroom. Oh. And he's like, press the button and it won't go down. Press the button and it won't go down. This is such a big fear of mine.

Yeah, and it's not just necessarily like the toilet, it's the thing itself is just like staring him back in the eye. The deposit is staring him in the eye. The deposit. I didn't. Deposit. I was trying to find a nice word. So after three or four goes, he's like, I'm going to have to tell.

The family. The family. Yeah. Like, what do I do? And there's like, he doesn't speak French. They don't speak English. So number two. Yeah, so he just has to walk out's like, he doesn't speak French. They don't speak English. So number two. Yeah, so he just has to walk out and like, so he walks out

and he's like, come on, like ushers them in. And they're like, oh, what? Like looking a bit like nervous. And he like brings them in and he points to this like, you know, life-changing deposit. And they're all like looking at it being like that's huge but also this is weird what's going on and then he just pushes the flush button and it just goes down oh so they think it's a trophy he's just oh that a guy he's just um taking a huge shit and he just

wanted to show us check it out they go they go it's big, and then he just flushed it away. That's beautiful, Sam. As if to say, I couldn't flush this without letting you enjoy what I've created. And to each other in French, like, is this an American custom? Is this what you guys do? I've never seen this on the movies. Okay.

The whole point of taking in a foreign exchange student is to, like, embrace cultures and what a culture it is. Oh, my God. So then any of that French family, they go to the US and they go, do you guys want to come and see my shit? Check this out. Obviously, like, that's what you want, but once you've made the commitment to telling someone,

you actually don't want that. No. Because they'll go, oh, you've bogged the toilet. Okay, we'll call the guy. It's like when you say, oh, can you undo this jar? It's really tight, but they get it off straight away. You're like, I loosened it for you. It's embarrassing that you've asked for help when it was fine.

So considering I haven't used it, do you want the plunger back? No, you can keep that. That's a gift. Is it? Yep. What happens when you need it? Secret Santa this year. If you need it, you'll have to go to Bunnings again.

I'm back for more, babe. God, what happened to the first one? Oh, mate, it's down there. I broke it. Flushed straight down. All right. Thanks for coming in in your state. What's something you love to see that can maybe perk you up again?

So I haven't been well the last couple of days. I've been literally, I haven't left the house for a couple of days. I've been on the couch the whole time. And it's the first time I've been sick since we've had Pippa. I mean, you've had her for two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. But I've never, like.

Does she know? I didn't really think about it. Well, I think she knew that I her for two weeks. Yeah. Yeah. But I've never, like. Does she know? I didn't really think about it. Well, I think she knew that I was feeling pretty poorly. Yeah. She was enjoying the fact that she could just, like, sleep with me on the couch all day. And I called her Dr. Pippa. Oh, God.

Which I thought was quite cute. You're Dr. Tony Lodge in Patreon. How many doctors are rolling in that house? Well, somebody loved to see it. It's not that Pippa is Dr. Pippa, but the fact that when you call Pippa Dr. Pippa, it sounds like a Kiwi ordering a drink. Do you remember that drink, Dr. Pepper?

How do you order a Dr. Pepper if you're from Auckland? Hi, I'll get a Dr. Pippa. And it was so... I said it, and in my fucking, you know, codral cold and flu tablet haze... I've never been funnier. I lost it and Tom's was like, what are you laughing at?

Like, are you hallucinating? And I told him, and even Tom's laughed. No, it's good. I can confirm as a non-codraled up person, as a sober human, that is funny. Thank you. That is good. That was my love to see it. Yes. As a sober human. As a sober person. That is funny. Thank you. That is good. So that was my love to see it.

Thought you'd all enjoy that. Dr. Pippa. Hi, I'm Dr. Pippa. Also, speaking of our friends in New Zealand, it turns out that it's easier and takes less time to ship a water bottle from Melbourne to Afghanistan than it does to Auckland. So to my Kiwi bros, it's on its way. And I'm sorry it's taken so long.

There's no... People are like, is there a problem? There actually isn't. It just takes this long, apparently. I don't know why. I want to send a shout-out to Tapa Jasmine. Hi, Jasmine. Who lives in Florida.

Now, Tapa Jasmine doesn't know about this shout out. Oh. So she's probably freaking out right now. Oh, no. She'll be listening. She'll be listening. But Jasmine in Florida, this one's for you. Hi, Jasmine.

What an absolute legend. Jasmine was a hero during the hurricane and the floods. Have you seen the horrific weather events in Florida last year? Oh, my gosh. Yeah. Insane. And like, can I just put it out there? Please. Can weather guys stop trying put it out there? Please.

Can weather guys stop trying to be fucking heroes? Oh. You know, they're like, oh, it'll be great

for the local TV. Go and stand out in that puddle by the... Stay inside, you fuckhead. Yeah. If we need to save you,

then that's the people who are saving people. We're wasting their time on the TV, man. I 100%. Instead of actual people that live there. We get how funny it is

that your coat is flapping to the side. Yeah. We've seen the other videos. We know it's raining, bro. actual people that live there. We get how funny it is that your coat is flapping to the side. We've seen the other videos. We know it's raining, bro. We get it, yeah. Sorry, that was my smell. No, that's okay. That's all right.

I think they needed to hear it. So how does type adjustment come into this? She works for the city. Oh. And she goes into work on a Tuesday morning to make sure all the utility workers know where the spot problems are, know where the power's gone out. You know, yep, can we get a crew over here? So she's coordinating everything.

She's doing all that stuff. She goes into work Tuesday morning and the first time she takes a break is Friday afternoon. She just decided, nah, my city needs me and every extra 10 minutes I can do could save a life somewhere else. She's like Batman. I actually thought it was Batman until I learned her name was Jasmine. A hero. So her friend Seth has messaged us as a little tip off and said, Jasmine is a hero.

I'm so proud of her. And don't you just love to see that? Oh, you do love to see that. Oh, well, thanks, Seth, for dubbing in your hero, mate. But also, Jazzman. Yeah. Like Batman. Jazzman.

Da-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na. Jazzman. How fun is that? I only just realised that the latest 10 Batman movies don't have the theme in it. Yeah. That's a real shame. Such a waste. Yeah.

Yeah, you don't love to see that. No, you don't love to see that. Thank you so much for listening. Hopefully you've loved today's episode. Tomorrow we're back with Normal or Nah. Oh, and George Wendell returns tomorrow. He has a Normal or Nah. So strap yourselves in and that's not a clue.

So that is tomorrow. Have a great day. We'll chat to you then. Love you, bye.