Toni and Ryan - Bread, Murder and a Cheese Kransky

Episode Date: September 28, 2021

I mean it's just all incredibly ominous isn't it. We need to talk about loyalty and rock bottom relationships. Make sure you have a peek into our Facebook Group! Love u Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hi, is that Emma? It sure is. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? I'm good. How are you guys? Hi, Emma.

We're well. Now, you said you were going to set 58 alarms to ensure you didn't miss the golden opportunity to approve a podcast. Did that happen? Are you alive and ready? I am. I set 59 and they all went off perfectly timed. The phone barely rang before she answered it.

My heart burst into 1,000 beats a minute as soon as it rang. Imagine if it rang, though, because it comes up no caller ID when we ring from the studio. Imagine then it was someone like, are you happy with your long-distance phone? I'd like to contact you about your car's premium insurance. I would have just murdered myself. Sorry, Emma, there's actually a rule.

No one's allowed to be funnier than Tony on the podcast, so if you could just cut out the jokes, that would be great. How dare you? Oh, definitely. How dare I? So before we get started, Emma, is it okay to get your approval for this episode? Of course it is.

Awesome. Good, no joke there. I approve. Hey, it's Emma, and I approve this podcast. My name is Ryan John. Let me introduce you to my good friend, Tony Felicia Lodge. Welcome to your own show, Tony. Hi, thank you.

Vice Captain Ryan here. Butter to your bread. Oh, we didn't mention it the other day. I was going to put it in feedback. Someone got a picture of bread and butter and stuck our faces on it. We should make it the group photo of the Facebook group. We should. That is a great idea.

I saw it and I thought that is so funny. Welcome to the podcast. Thank you so much for listening. Tony and I are still, I don't want this to sound lame and cheesy, but we are genuinely, like, shocked and chuffed. We aren't doing the hashtag blessed thing. Oh, thank you. This is so grateful.

Oh, my God, it's so special. Literally, it's crazy and we could not be happier that you guys are deciding to listen to this, so thank you. So coming up later in this episode, because people are listening in different countries from around the world, Tony will, in your accent, from wherever you're from, respond to your comments. Oh, I'm really worried.

I get a lot of messages from people in Germany and I whip out... How is your German accent? Well, I whip out the German that I know, which is not very much. What is it? Wie geht's, which is how are you? Gut, danke, und du, which is good thanks. Actually, you should probably stop because I'd hate for you to waste all of

your stuff before we get there because there's a lot to go through. But the German that I know, the Deutsch, sorry, is ein bisschen, which is only a little bit. Do you want me to show you some ein bisschen? Yeah, show me a little bit. You've only got a little bit to show me. That's all I've got. But we will be heading to Manchester, Nevada, South Africa, Canada, Belgium, Amsterdam and Kentucky because that's our favourite place. Oh, okay. So good luck with that. Thank you. What have you got coming up? I want to know what point in lockdown people are in. So we try to make a point of this being kind of a COVID-free zone.

We don't chat about the COVID very much because it's just like, yeah, we get it. So depressing and sad and graphic. Everybody knows what's going on. It's shit. Let's ignore it. But my boyfriend and I reached a new point in lockdown last night and I want to know if this is something that anybody else has experienced.

Like other couples or it's just individual trauma? It doesn't have to be a couple. Any people talking to other people, I just need to know if we are, like we've hit rock bottom or not. Have we hit rock bottom? All right. Has Tony and her partner tops hit rock bottom? Coming soon. All right. You listening to our podcast right now, Tony and her partner tops hit rock bottom? Coming soon.

All right. You listening to our podcast right now, Tony Lodge. Yes. Ask yourself this question. Tony, are you a loyal person? Yes. Did you want to think about that? No.

Don't need to. Everybody else can keep thinking about it, but I think I'm a very loyal person. I would agree. Thank you. You a very loyal person. I would agree. Thank you. You are a loyal person. Thank you. Is that a compliment?

I guess it is. Well, we'll see how this pans out for you. Okay. What was that? Oh, no, have you given me a test and I bitched about you to someone and I shouldn't have? No, you have been very loyal to me. Thank you.

Should I tell the reason why I know that? Yeah. loyal to me. Thank you. Should I tell the reason why I know that? Yeah. Apparently, another man in showbiz wanted to work with you and you said no. Uh-huh. Who did? I got enough man in my life and his name's Ryan. Yeah, it was just before we started this podcast. Very loyal and I appreciate that. Mitch, if you're listening, I am still available. This goes down the toilet.

Now ask yourself this, Tony Felicia Lodge. Uh-huh. Are you an honest person? Why, Tony thinks. Think about it for yourself. Are you an honest person? And think, is your best friend, are they also an honest person? Truth time.

We've talked about this before. I don't like putting people out. Yep. So the times that I'm not honest are when I get really worried about hurting people's feelings. Like the classic, does my butt look big in these pants, that kind of stuff. Oh, no, that kind of thing. I'd be like, oh, do you have anything else we could look at?

But in terms of lying, I don't lie because I'm not good at it. Okay. So, like, if I start lying about something, I talk too much, you can tell straight away. But you're always talking. Does that mean you're always lying? No. If somebody says to me, oh, what happened with that?

And I'm like, oh, well, and then I just. You panic. I panic. I talk too much. And I go, oh, what are you talking about? I'm not good at it. But I think I'm honest when it's, you know, important. Okay.

So in terms of being honest or not honest, like more honest than not? I hope so. And in terms of loyal or not loyal, more loyal than not? Yes. So you, Tony Lodge, are saying you are a loyal and honest person. Yeah. Okay. Is this about to bite me in the arse?

What's going on? Hypothetically. Yep. If I killed someone. Yep. And you knew it. Mm-hmm. And then the police knock on the door. Yep. And you knew it. Mm-hmm. And then the police knock on the door.

Yep. They say, we're investigating a murder. Do you know who did it? Are you going to be honest because you know it was your good mate Ryan or are you going to be loyal and lie to the police to save your friend. That's a real tough one because how much evidence is there? Was I there when the murder occurred? I watch a lot of crime TV shows.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine? I said crime. It's a police show. It's a fucking stupid show. They solve crimes. Well, it's finished now. We don't have to talk about it anymore. If I was involved in the crime and I could get found out for perjury,

lying on the stand, then. Okay, you weren't involved, but you know for a fact that I did it. Oh, mate, no. Who's Ryan? That's what I would say. So you would lie. No, I don't think I would lie. Oh, mate, nah, who's Ryan? That's what I would say. So you would lie? No, I don't think I would lie.

So you'd throw me under the bus? No. We know you're easily bought after your Red Rooster shenanigans last week. Yeah. You are anyone's. Are you Red Rooster? Enjoy fresh Red Rooster today. You are anyone's for a few nugs. And I mean anyone's.

Anyone's. Anything. She'll do it. That's a really hard. Do I know the person that's died? I think I'd feel really guilty because I'd be like, oh, this person's family is really going through a tough time. They need justice.

They need closure. Yeah. Did you murder them or was it just manslaughter? Like, was it just an accident and like, fuck, it went wrong. I've hit someone with my car and I put them in the ocean. Because then I probably wouldn't say anything. Was I driving in the ocean? No, you like, you hit them in your car and then you go,

fuck me, I've killed someone, you pop them in the ocean. Then I probably, but if you murdered someone, I think I'd be like, you know what, I don't really want to be your friend. So, yeah, I'm probably going to dob you in. Actually, yeah, that's a good way of thinking about it, I think. I murdered them. Oh, yeah, no, I think I'm going to dob you in. Actually, yeah, that's a good way of thinking about it, I think. I murdered them. Oh, yeah, no, I think I'm going to put you forward. I think I have to.

After all I've done for you, you're going to turn me in. I wouldn't be able to do this podcast anymore. Yeah, think of your podcast. Think of your future. Think of us. Think of people listening. This is a really hard dilemma. All right, here is what I'm going to Think of people listening. This is a really hard dilemma. All right, here is what I'm going to ask of people listening

to the podcast right now. Okay. I'm going to put a post in the group that comes out when this episode comes out. Oh, so Wednesday. I'll write it down so we don't forget. If you had to rely on either Tony Lodge or myself, Ryan John, to be your alibi and stick to the story and lie for you,

would you rather trust Tony or would you rather trust me, Ryan? Don't even put the post up. Pick Ryan. Thank you. Yeah, don't even put the post up. Because I am more loyal than you. No, it's not about being loyal. You're just a really good liar.

Really? You heard it here first. Well, I told you earlier. Or am I a good liar? Was that a lie? See, a lie can be a twist. So you're saying don't even bother. I'm the most trustworthy one of the group.

But you're asking a really hard question. I do lie to you. What? I told you earlier I wouldn't sleep with you. We both know that was just garbage. Slander. You're asking a really hard question. Hashtag vote Ryan.

You're making me think about murder. You'd throw me under the bus so hard. I think I'd have to. Lying to the police would just tear me up inside. Would it? If I knew that you... Do you want to call the police right now and I'll get you to lie to them? No.

We'll test it. No fucking way. Don't mess around with the law. Can we? No. See you up. Yeah, okay. I'll see who you're siding with.

You're asking me a really difficult question. If it came to like, hey, did Ryan do this? As in like somebody said to me like, hey, my favourite jacket's gone. Like, do you know who took it? I'd be like, no, I didn't say it. But we're talking about murder. We're talking about you killing somebody in cold blood. So you'd rather me go to jail for life than get accused of borrowing a jumper?

What? That's what you just said. No. I'd happily let you rot in jail. You're talking about murdering someone. Okay. All right. Shoes on the other foot.

I've murdered someone. I've called you and said I've actually just murdered someone. So you know about it. The police come to your house. They go, you're the first person she called. What do you do? I said she was calling to ask me what I wanted at the fish and chip shop. And I told her what I thought.

Flake two dim sims. Oh, my God. Do you know what I love from the fish and chip shop? You know how the other day- Sweet potato fries? Oh, but do you know what's better than sweet potato fries? Kumara. What's Kumara?

Like Kiwi sweet potato. So Kumara is different to sweet potato. Okay, right. Kiwi stuff's always better than fish and chip fries. Oh, literally. You know how the other week we were talking about Akransky in pastry? Yeah. so kumarai is different to sweet potato anyway stuff's always better fish and chips oh literally um you know how the other week we were talking about a kransky in pastry yeah touch me oh god at the fish and chip shop that we go to it's called kiwi fish and chips it's in carlton i think um they do a deep fried kransky. They don't. They fucking do.

Are they open? They actually probably will be. What's the number? What are you going to do? Ask them if I should go to jail? What's the... Kiwi fish and chips. What are you going to say to them?

Kiwi fish. Yeah, hi. Is it true that you guys do a deep fried Kransky? OK, we're finished. Yeah, hi, is it true that you guys do a deep-fried Kransky? A what? Yeah, we do a deep-fried Kransky, mate. Can I please order four of those to take away? Four battered Kranskys, yep. Is that the lot? Yeah, that's it, mate.

And your name? Tony. Sorry? Tony. See you that's it, mate. And your name? Tony. Sorry? Tony. See you in about 15, Tony. Thanks, mate. See you soon. Bye.

Let's finish this podcast up. Are we going to go get a battered Kransky? Yeah. All right. Let us know in the group if you would prefer, well, here you've got three options. Three options now. Would you trust Ryan?

Would you trust Tony? Or do you no longer give a shit? You just want to eat the deep fried Kransky. You want the Kransky. But I would just like to say you could vote for me because I'm bringing things to our team such as the battered deep fried Kransky. I'd rather you bring loyalty than Kranskys, but thank you. Disagree.

Okay, well, now we've got to fly through this. Okay, so what I need to know is if Torbs and I, my boyfriend of seven years, have hit rock bottom. Killed someone together. Who should you trust? What I need to know is if Torbs and I, my boyfriend of seven years, have hit rock bottom in our relationship. So obviously we're in lockdown. It's been like 5,000 days or whatever it is. And we are at the point now where we're just kind of like running out of things to talk about.

Bridget and I, we actually had a chat about the fact that we don't have stuff to chat about. Well, it's weird, right, because it's not that we don't want to talk to each other, but we work in the spare room next to each other. Like our second bedroom is like our office, and so we're actually next to each other all day. So as soon as something happens with work, I'm like, oh, Torbs, guess what just happened here?

And he goes, oh, this bot won not, like, this bot won't work and I can't get this thing to happen or whatever. So we talked about work all day throughout the day. Then we talk about what we're going to have for dinner, how fucking boring, and then, you know, all that stuff. But usually, traditionally, at dinner, it would be like, so tell me about your day. How was your day?

What happened at work? Yeah. But you're like, I already know all of this stuff. Yeah, or like, oh, you got up early this morning. Did you go for a run or whatever? You know what Bridget says to me? What? She goes, oh, tell me a story.

And I love telling stories that, you know, we come in here, but when you don't have any, I feel like I'm letting her down. I've got nothing left. I don't have anything. There's no one at work to talk to. I can't tell you their stories. When I tell you a story about Tony, you already know because you love Tony more than you love me.

Hashtag fair enough. Yeah. I don't know what I got for you. So last night, Tobs and I were laying on the couch. We'd eaten our dinner and we were just sitting watching TV and I was like, you know what we should do? We should buy a bread maker. Oh, Tony.

How fucking, isn't that just the most boring thing you've ever heard? Saddest thing I've ever heard in my life. It's just fucking boring. It's so boring. It is just boring. How boring is that? My grandpa used to have a bread maker and every time I went around, he was like, oh, let me check.

Oh, it's rising. I'm like, that's what the bread maker does, mate. I get it. That's what it's for. He's like, oh, hey, grandpa, I've got a question. Oh, sorry. Hang. Oh, it's rising. I'm like, that's what the bread maker does, mate. I get it. That's what it's for. It's like, oh, hey, Grandpa, I've got a question. Oh, sorry, hang on, I can't. The buzzer's going to go off and the bread maker, it's rising. I'm like, oh.

This is not, okay. On episode number one of the Tony and Ryan show, we said, here's a bunch of things that are hobbies but cannot be your entire personality. Personality, yeah. I feel like a bread maker is danger, red flag, siren area. Yeah. Because having a bread maker is not a personality. You know what having a bread maker is? Boring.

And it's also where do you live? What suburb? Richmond. How many bakeries in Richmond? Yeah, millions. I could kick a football from your house and probably land on about four or five different bakeries. There are so many so close to you. Yeah, millions. I could kick a football from your house and probably land on about four or five different bakeries. There are so many so close to you.

Okay, so it's funny you say that. Torbs and I talked about the bread maker for two hours. You could have built your own bread maker from scratch with parts from fucking Kentucky in the time that conversation's had. So we're looking online. We're looking at the type of bread makers we could get. There's some that have fruit and nut shoots and they shoot the fruit and nuts into the bread

at the optimum time of the bread making process. And then Torbs goes, oh, I think we should do it. We're like talking about this like we're buying a new car. Like it's a full-on commitment. And you guys don't muck around with buying stuff. You guys actually have a bit of a process of like we're going to talk about things, we have a budget, we've got a certain amount. So you don't just go, oh, yeah.

We're not very frivolous, no. And I guess that comes from being cheap uni students for a long time. But so, yeah, no, there's not a lot of things that we do where we just go, oh, that's all good. So we are talking about this bread maker for ages. We're going, oh, this one's great. This one's $300. This one's $150.

This one, it came out for $70. Like, what do we do? She's expensive. I was like, do you know, they are expensive. I was like, do you know what? If we buy a bread maker, we're going to eat heaps of bread because bread is delicious. Don't get me.

It is made to be enjoyed. Don't get me wrong. My thoughts on the bread maker do not extend to bread in general. Oh, no. It's just that if you buy a bread maker, you're committing to eating all this bread. It's like when one of your hobbies is cooking or baking or whatever. You have more of it.

You love to do it, but then you kind of want to share the food with other people. And in lockdown, obviously, at the moment, we can't send bread to anybody because you can't see anyone. Yeah, and I don't want your grubby little COVID hands on my carbs. Exactly. And then Tobbs goes, oh, well, we could become like bread people. No!

He'd said we can base our whole personalities on this. He said we could be those people that when we go to people's houses, we go, oh, we've just made this new sourdough. Would you like to try it? And it would be sourdough. And it would be like that, right? And then he goes, we should do it because we could be the people that take bread to people's houses.

He goes, oh, you come round for a coffee? We've got fucking fresh bread. Oh, you want to go to the park? We've got bread to bring. And he's just getting so – right, so this is rock bottom, right? Can I ask you an honest question? Yeah. What do you think if you had to only pick one,

is the most boring of these two things? A, having a bread maker, or B, spending two hours talking about getting a bread maker? I know. What's worse? The action was worse than actually just buying the bread maker, right? I'm like, just have the $300, mate. Just buy the fucking thing.

Anyway. I'm going to throw the money into a fire for all I care. Just end this conversation. I know. So we talked about it for, you know, two hours, whether we should or shouldn't, and Torbs is getting really pumped about us being bread people, taking bread to people's houses,

being bread gifters that every time we give someone a gift, it's like a present but also a loaf of bread. And I was like, mate, I actually regret bringing it up. I don't think we should buy a bread maker. So this was your fault. You brought it up. I brought it up. I said, we should buy a bread maker. We're watching TV and I thought it was going to be innocent. I thought it would just be a nice little convo.

Apparently not. There's nothing innocent about bringing up a fucking bread maker. Anyway, I want to know if you think that's rock bottom. I think we already know the answer. You have hit rock bottom. There's literally no way down from there. All right, here's a challenge for the group.

Can you think of something more rock bottom? More boring, more rock bottom than buying and conversing for two hours over the purchase of a bread maker. The buying of the bread maker is not the issue. It's the conversation. Okay, right. Yeah. So if you can think about something more boring to talk about for two hours,

might I add, on a Friday night. Friday night. It was a Friday night. All the best movies are on. You've got Netflix, Stan, Amazon Prime, Mean Girls. Hang on. You did watch Mean Girls last night. Was that before or, Stan, Amazon Prime, Mean Girls. Hang on. You did watch Mean Girls last night. Was that before or after this chat?

No, no, no, no. I watched Mean Girls, then we had dinner, and then we were talking about this after dinner while we were watching Taskmaster, which is very good if you've watched it. Hashtag good recommendations. Thank you. Okay.

If anyone's got anything more rock bottom, we'll read them out next week during feedback. Because that's boring. Because I'm going to put it out there. This is going to be the least engaged with post in our group because everyone will be like, I've got nothing to add. There's nothing else. Also, if you have a bread maker, let me know of the pros and cons,

what type you have. Maybe I'll look into it. There is one thing I'd like to add to this. I don't think basing your whole personality on having a bread maker is good for you. Yeah. I don't think this conversation was productive. You could have just fucking bought it.

Yep. Not against receiving bread, though. That's what I was going to say. You're not going to be mad if I rock up at your house that post-COVID time. I actually don't mind that. With a loaf of bread. Or if you come around and you go, oh, hey, Tone,

come around for a coffee, and I go, oh, I've got some fresh raisin bread in the bread maker. Yeah, we'll make it with toast. You're not going to be bothered by that. No, not at all. All right, I'm back on. She's back. I'm back on the bread maker.

All right, let's go get the fish and chips. Yes. Hey, it's Emma, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. All right. We need to be honest with you. Yeah. During that little break, we actually drove down to the fish and ship shop. Fish and ship shop. So it was not a staged call that we said, oh, we'll be down to pick it up in 15 minutes.

We actually just like zipped to the shops. Luckily, there was no traffic. Zipped to the shops, got the Kranskis, just shoved one in our bodies and now we're back. And there's a great video that you guys can watch as well. I'll put it in the group. Is it going to be great, is it? I'll put it in the group, yeah.

Okay, because, yeah, that was unreal. If you would like to see the video of Ryan shoving that in his face, join. I mean, don't oversell it. Don't make the video sound too great. Too sexy. Oh, how can I possibly not watch this video? It sounds so clean and pure. But if you want to watch that, it'll be on our Facebook group.

The links are in our Instagram and TikTok bios. Oh, we've got something to announce. We do. As in like next week, yeah. Next week. Big announcement on Monday's show. I mean, don't oversell it. Again, don't oversell it.

But it's exciting for us. It's exciting. Exciting for us. Exciting for us. And exciting for the people that have don't oversell it. Again, don't oversell it. But it's exciting for us. It's exciting, yeah. Exciting for us. Exciting for us. And exciting for the people that have talked to us about it. Absolutely. Yeah. Yep.

Well said. Now, Tessa Prolofsky. Yes. She started the thread in the Facebook group, Tony and Ryan Podcast. Uh-huh. And I think we're quite chuffed, but it was quite fun to read through. She said, finish this sentence.

The podcast is so big, it made it to dot, dot, dot, and then people said where they're from. It's very cute. And she made like a little meme thing, and it had like a card on it, and people were making little cards and showing where they were from. Super cute. It was very nice. Tessa is from Ringwood.

Ringwood, in Melbourne? Yeah. And that's about a nine-minute is from Ringwood. Ringwood? In Melbourne? Yeah. And that's about a nine-minute drive from my house. Is it? I thought Ringwood was really far away. Nah. Not on the eastern, mate. I thought Ringwood was, like, out where your mum is.

Eltham? Oh, not... Oh, it's sort of... Ringwood's east. We're, like, northeast. So does Ringwood have anything to do with the Ring Road? No. But the East Link goes through that.

This is awful chat for anyone who's not in Melbourne. I don't know what the East Link is. I guess what I'm trying to say is that someone who's like, it's going around the world. For instance, I'm just down the road. I was like, oh, I hope it goes further than this. Yeah, okay. But it turns out it does.

So what we're going to do here is I'm going to read where people are from and, Tony, in the accent that they have and where they're from, you're going to just say, give them a shout out, you know, say hello, give them a shout out back. Okay. Cool. First up, Vicky Waddington is from Manchester in UK. Thanks so much for listening, Vicky.

Manchester. Hello, I'm Vicky. Oh, no, that's not, that's like London, isn't it? Manchester's different. Manchester, I think, is like a little bit more fancy, a bit like Posh Beckham. Is that right? We'll let Vicky and the group decide.

Sorry, Vicky. Brandy Allard is from Las Vegas, Nevada. Hiya, Vicky. Everybody from Las Vegas sounds like Elvis. I'm glad that you said that. I'm like... Hiya, little Vicky. I'm like, I wonder if she realises she's just doing Elvis Presley.

Well, they all look like Elvis because they're all marrying. There's probably seven of them. People in the chapels. My mum said that when she went to Las Vegas, it was just like tall, short, fat, skinny, like random people dressed like Elvis all over the place. It's an industry. Yeah.

So, hiya little Vicky. Thanks for listening. Ed Sheer is from Pakenham in Victoria. Oh, well, Ed, if you're from Melbourne, that means you're from Melbourne because we say Melbourne like Melbourne instead of Melbourne. Yeah, or Melbourne. Oh, yeah. In like America, they say Melbourne like Melbourne instead of Melbourne. Yep. Or Melbourne. Oh, yeah. In like America, they say Melbourne.

So when I was in the US, I lived there for a year and I said, oh, I'm from Melbourne. And they were like, oh, no, it's actually pronounced Melbourne. I'm actually telling you that it's not. And they would not have a bar of that. They were like, well, actually, let me tell you the name of the town that you're from because there's a Melbourne in Florida maybe. Oh, okay. And, hey, if you want to of the town that you're from. Yeah. Because there's a Melbourne in Florida. Oh, okay.

And, hey, if you want to pronounce your one like that, sure. Yeah. But don't tell me how to pronounce my one. Yeah, don't come at me like that. Yeah. Don't come at me. Melbourne. Melbourne. Hannah is from Upper Hutt in New Zealand.

Oh, kia ora. Talk about the drink I just had from the Kiwi Fish and Chip. We just had an eel and pea. It was mean is. That was good. Thanks. That was real good. Aria Isaacs is from Cape Town in South Africa.

South Africa. She's from South Africa. We are watching, Torbs and I are watching 90 Day Fiance at the moment and in the second season there's someone from South Africa on it that gets married to this boy who's from Pennsylvania and it's amazing. As boring as that sounds, it sounds way more interesting than buying a bread maker, so that's fine. Talking about the fucking bread maker.

Isabella's from Texas. Hey, I'm from Texas and I love to smelt meats. Is it meats in Texas? Yeah, I think, yeah. But also, can I remind you that you're talking to them, not pretending to be them? Oh, sorry. Hey, Isabella, it's Tony from Melbourne.

Is that right? Do you think that's good? I love watching 90 Day Fiancé. Let us know in the group if you like my accent. Karen Patton Moore is from Medicine Hat in Alberta, Canada. Alberta. Hi. I have never been to Canada.

Eh? Eh? Did I say eh? Oh, wow. I love Canada. Oh, yeah. Thanks. Is that Minnesota?

That's a bit more Minnesota, I think. How do you think Medicine Hat was named? Someone there was wearing a hat and they needed. In their voice, please. Oh, yeah, I think someone maybe was wearing a hat and they needed some medical attention and then they put the medicine in the hat. You are watching the Discovery Channel. You are watching the Discovery Channel.

You are watching the History Channel and this is how things are named. I feel so bad that I'm butchering people's accents. But you're killing this, mate. No, because then when people do an Australian accent, they go, I love to eat Australian food. The next one is Anar Breki, who is from Iceland. Speak to Anar Breki in Icelandic. I love to eat fish.

Again, you are being yourself talking to them. I love to eat fish and that is very relatable to you because you ate the fish in the water. Oh, sorry. I actually wanted you to be Tony from Iceland, not Borat. Carson Estridge is from Kentucky. Kentucky. Fried chicken. Okay, get in the zone, Tony from Kentucky. Kentucky. Fried chicken. Okay, get in the zone, Tony. Kentucky fried chicken and a pizza hut.

UPS. All my packages have been there. Yeah, my name's Tony. I love it when the packages come to the UPS hub in Kentucky. I've seen Tob's package come straight through here and go straight on to LAX and then on to Melbourne. You changed states in the US within that sentence. Did I? Yeah. I don't, I've never been to America. You ended up a bit further south than where you started.

By the end of this sentence. You hear? Lily, only a few more. So, I mean, sorry if this is awful podcast. I'm so sorry. Lilf van Dorp is from Brussels in Belgium. Belgium. All right, all right. Brussels. Oh, Claude Van Damme is from there. Muscles from Brussels, right?

Claude Van Damme? Sure. What's his voice sound like? Oh, you want to talk to... No, that's Russian. I'm Tony. I'm Tony and I think you're very beautiful. No, I keep going into an accent but it sounds German. Oh, I got so stressed.

Bless you. Sweet Tony Lodge. Yeah, Gesundheit is German for bless you, so does that count? We are learning that European is not a strength area of Tony Lodge. I'm not good at this and I feel like I'm really offending people. Emily Abbey is from Manhattan, New York. Hey, I'm walking here. Oh, that's going to piss her off.

Oh, is it? Because that's like, that's... That's shrimp on the barley territory. Oh, is it? I think so. Okay,'s. That's shrimp on the barley territory. Oh, is it? I think so. Okay. So what I learned from when I watched that movie, what movie did I watch? Mean Girls.

No. He's All That. No. That really long one that I didn't know if I had Matt Damon or Leonardo DiCaprio in it, I had both of them. Oh, The Departed. Yes. I love you.

Thank you. I found out that Irish New York and Italian New York. You know that movie was from Boston, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But so I thought it was like that, hey, I'm walking you. That's Italian. But that's Italian American, not Irish American. So is Manhattan.

That's the island, like the New York City. Yeah, yeah. But is that Irish or American Italian? Irish or Italian American? Are you asking what I'm requiring from you now? Yeah, I'm asking which one it is. All right. With a name like Emily Abbey.

More Irish? I reckon. Okay, well, I can't do that. I just do the. You want a pepperoni pizza? No, that's Staten Island. And incredibly Italian. It's like, all right, don't do the... You want a pepperoni pizza? No, that's Staten Island. And incredibly Italian. It's like, I don't do the Italian one.

Great, I'll talk about pepperoni pizza. That's why I just said I couldn't do it. Or is Manhattan... That's like Sex and the City, isn't it? Yeah, do your Sex and the City. Okay, all right. Do your Carrie Bradshaw. I'll do my Carrie Bradshaw.

And then I stop to think, I wonder if she's listening to this podcast now. Well, not anymore after this's listening to this podcast now. Well, not anymore after this awful effort. Oh, fuck. Jimmy from Amsterdam. And we know that Europe isn't your area. I'm sorry.

Jimmy would love you to speak to him because Jimmy's a big fan of Tony Lodge. But they just, they all sound the same when I do them. That's what they say about us. And that's really offensive. That's what they say about us. No, I'm not saying that. I'm saying that all the accents from Europe right now from me are all sounding German. Amsterdam.

Oh, ja. No, that's German. Is that you trying not to be German? That was the most German you've been so far. And ja is literally German. Should we get to the last one? Because I feel like it's not your strength. I set you up for failure there.

I'm sorry. Amsterdam is... The sex and drugs place. Yeah. You been there? Smoke vid in Amsterdam. Oh, that was actually quite good, I think. Yeah.

In Amsterdam. Going down the canal and go to the red light district. It's Borat. You're Borat. All right. Final one. I'm so sorry, everyone. I'm sorry I brought this up.

Please don't freaking cancel me. I'm trying my hardest. I feel bad for making you do this. No, you don't. You're loving it. I'm loving the idea. I'm hating your ability to deliver. I can't do it.

Final one. Maria is from Spain. However, she's moved to Ireland. So what you're about to hear, you listening to this podcast now, is a basic bitch from Perth trying to impersonate someone from Spain with a twinge of Irish. Okay, so if you were Spanish, all I can think about is, like, Rosita from Sesame Street.

Great. Oh, Rosita. Hola. Great. Oh, Rosita. Hola. Hola. And then if I was in Ireland, it would be top of the morning to you. So it would be. The anticipation. Okay, so it would be.

It's killing me. Hola. Top of the morning to you. Top of the morning to you. Top of the morning to ya. That's a bit Irish, isn't it? I think you're just saying the Irish words in the Ola voice. Top of the morning to ya. And this is actually the last episode of the Tony Ryan podcast.

That's a terrible idea. I tried. No, it's my fault. I tried, mate. It's my fault for bringing this up. Do you think that people are going to think I'm an awful person? Well, obviously, but I also feel bad for bringing this up. It was a terrible idea on my behalf.

My dreams of being an actress have been dashed before me. I'll never be able to play an American or a Spanish-Irish. I think you should just focus on getting three days in Australian for starters. Yeah, I think maybe back to basics is best. I'm sorry. If this is the only podcast episode you've listened to, give us another try, would you?

Please don't let this, please listen to any others as well. Give us a chance. Give us a chance. Give us a chance. Give us a chance. Next week there's something that adults do right across the world on a specific day that I don't like.

Anal. Mate, if you're going to pretend like that's a specific day for you. Once a year. Merry Christmas. Again, don't let this be the podcast for you to decide. Please, we've really gone off. It's the Kransky.

The Kransky's made us crazy. Well, I'm going to have to disagree with you. My you love to see it is the Kransky. I love to see the Kransky. I love to see it in me and I do not like to hear a bad word about it and I don't want anything blamed on it. Well, I feel really bad because my you love to see it was going to be about a different type of fast food.

Go on. So last week we talked about Red Rooster. You were finally converted to Red Rooster. Yep. And I got hundreds of messages, people saying, I haven't had Red Rooster in years. I'm about to go and do it for the first time in ages because you've convinced me that I need these cheesy nuggets.

I love seeing those photos of people just like taking photos of their dinner going, I'm about to hoof in. Yeah, or people sent me some photos of them saying, I'm in the drive-through. Like, I haven't been here for years. I got a message from a girl saying that she is celiac but is willing to destroy herself for a ripper roll. And that I love to see.

All right, thanks for listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. It is so much fun that so many people are listening and contributing to the Ryan and Tony podcast Facebook group because then we get to hear all those terrible accents and fun things from around the world. So as bad as that was, it is fun to be able to speak to people from all around the world. Yeah, and I'm just going to stick to my own accent from now on.

Hey, mate, good idea. Top of the morning to ya. See ya. Love you. Bye.