Toni and Ryan - Breakfast of Champions

Episode Date: December 11, 2024

RYAN HAS A NEW QUIZ!!!!!! hehehe love ya xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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What a lie. Subscribe now using the code FizzC and get 10 gigs of data and 25 bucks. Switch to Fizz today. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Hello.

And we are calling Sarah in Little River here in Victoria. Little River. Doesn't that sound beautiful? It does. Have you been there? No. Me either. I've been to Big River.

Sorry. Hi. Sarah! Sarah! Hi. How is Little River today? It is so good. It's fantastic.

Oh, are you in the river right now? I haven't opened my blinds yet, so I don't know. It's fantastic. Oh, are you in the river right now? I haven't opened my blinds yet, so I don't know if it's fantastic. So you've lied on the record. It's lovely right here in my room. Yes. What are you wearing? Sorry. Sorry that took a turn.

Sarah, you don't have to answer that. Sarah, do not answer that. Redacted. You don't have to answer that. Redacted. Okay. I won't answer. You can answer if you want, but you don't have to. Redacted. Redact that. Redacted. Okay. I won't answer. You can answer if you want, but you don't have to.

Redacted. Redacted. Redacted. I'm wearing just an hoodie with nothing underneath. I'm not wearing much, but it's because it's way too hot out. It is so hot. Yeah, I know. We've cranked the aircon.

It was an editorial choice we made in winter. And we were like, wouldn't that be so cosy? The office is so cold. And now we're like, maybe we need to, you know how they released those like ugly Christmas rashies so that in Australia, you could wear the ugly Christmas sweater. We need that version of this. Maybe you need to like cut the sleeves off. Yeah. Oh, you need like a summer version. Cut the sleeves off. So that would be the most boating thing ever. And I don't hate it. Cut off.

Yeah. A little singlet. I don't mind it. A singlet? An ooty singlet. That is a great idea. I approve of that. Sarah, do you approve today's podcast?

Oh, absolutely. Yeah. Legend. It's Sarah from Little River in Victoria and I approve this podcast. Coming up today, an investigation that Tony will undertake. I'm undertaking, am I scoop large? Potentially. Oh. And you're also, you listening are going to learn a lot about A, Australian culture,

and B, the relationship I have with the barista down the road. Australian culture? Yeah. There's a lot of it to go around. Yeah. And I don't want to give too much away too soon, but the word champion was used. That's bad news. Well, it depends on the delivery. So you know how we've talked about how like, when you say champion, that's

like pretty condescending at times. Someone messaged on Patreon the other day and said, I don't know much about Australia, but all I know is that when you say champion, that's not good. Then why do you call them your champion tarpers? And I just thought that's something to sit with. That's something to sit with. In this economy.

Yeah, in Esther economy. This close to Christmas. Feliz Navidadas Closandos, yes. That's a fucking great point. Yeah. But like if you win the Australian football league, you're the like, Premiership champions. Yeah.

It's all about the tone. It is. It's a very, Versa-Taha word. Good question. But coming up today, the word champion, I think is used in a, we will relate to one another using this word.

Cause there's a guy that, there's a big fly. Oh my God. Oh my God. There is a fly the size of Florida flying around Tony. It was like a little midgie. And you know how they like stick on you. And they just loiter. They, A loitering midgie.

Isn't it crazy how a fly, have you seen all those beams? It's like a fly can get through the crack in the door like a spy, but you open the actual window and they're like, boo. Like get out, you loser. If you figured out how to get in. How can you get in with this, but can't get out with this? I've always said that.

That's a great point. But they just, and then they just like buzzing into the wall and stuff. Like grow up and get out of my house. You buzzy little bitch. We had a bird fly into the window. Like really just go. And BJ. Had you just cleaned them?

Did that, were they looking good? Yeah, I was like, wow. That's what you get. Oh, so late now. That's why you shouldn't clean your windows. And BJ, the guard dog, who should be on alert for attacking birds, doesn't get up, but just looks over at it and just goes like...

And just like goes back to sleeping. Oh, you animal want to come in here? No, VIPs only. But I guess also like the alert was it was disarmed. Very important pups. When I come over, it's very important. No, don't finish that sentence. Pussies.

Plural. I'm just a cat like... No, Malana, for a Thursday. I like that song. This is Ozzy girl. Girl. Hey, Ozzy girl. song this is Ozzy girl girl as if that isn't like 900 women's email it like hotmail email yeah Ozzy girl Ozzy girl 69 yeah I'm gonna email that today and just say what comes back

oh just like curious who owns this it's gonna be a 35 year old woman that goes I forgot the password and it's stuck on my phone yeah and this is what I use to access Neopets. The games on Neopets are unmatched and I actually won't have anybody say a bad thing about Neopets. I won't. I have gotten my data breached because of my Neopets. It sounds like you're saying a bad word about Neopets. But I still keep going back.

Fairy bubbles shuttled. They such an unreal game. Comment if you know what I'm talking about. I would like for people to comment the last time they played on Neopets. And if the answer is today, that's fine. OK. I don't actually know what that is, but I respect it.

I'll show you later. Normal or not, using something that's got you scammed and then continuing to use it. Normal. I throw my hands in the air. Nah, honestly. Yeah, totally. I think the other one that's breached me before is like a kitchen warehouse or I'll be back at kitchen where they know like an account that I set up for, so, and you know, they,

through people get their fucking dad breached all the time. Medibank private did it, Telstra, all of them. I had not a great experience one time at a kitchen warehouse. At a Schmitchenshmear house. At a Schmitchenshmear house. Yeah. What happened?

Oh, it was like something was broken and they didn't want to replace it or they didn't have the replacements. They're like, if you go to the other store, I'll call that. And I was just like, fuck off. You're giving me the run around. Yeah. And not like anyone wasn't a dick. It was just one of those like annoying things.

Anyway, and it was sort of like if I was carrying out, I'd be like, well, I'm never coming here again. But anyway, as I left the person, you know, there's like the greeter and they don't know what's happened at the counter. They're just saying good day and goodbye and all good. Yeah. They don't know. Pretending to check a bag.

They don't know I've just got fucked off 50 meters away. And as I'm walking out, the guy goes, see you next time. And I was like, you will, because yeah. I'll be back. Yeah, you got me. I saw those low price Frank Green water bottles in there and those keep cups. I will be coming back.

And on Boxing Day sales, I know you'll have a cheap picnic basket. And yeah, I'm a sucker for a cheap picnic basket. I will be back. Is that glass in there? Amazing. Oh, where will I put my knives? Probably in a block you sold me. Yeah, literally.

Do I need this banitone for my sourdough? Absolutely not. Will I buy it? Yes, I will never come back here again. See you next time. You will. Pineapple shaped ice cube trays. I'll have seven.

You've got me. I actually love kitchen warehouses. I love kitchen warehouses. I love kitchen warehouses. Do you know, I'm not even joking. And I regret for smudging their name earlier, because it was actually my fault. Whatever bro, it was probably my fault. And we're sorry.

Yeah, and I will see you again. Do you know, I'm actually going there this afternoon because we're getting the ice maker. Like just a little bench top one, because we don't have one in our fridge. They're pretty, like kitchen warehouse. Like, oh, the deals are unreal. Yeah.

I actually love kitchen ware. I literally, they stole my data and I was like, do it again. Have my data. What more do you want? Give me the points. Yeah. I'll give you the log into my ring doorbell. You just come in any time.

Anytime. Ozzy girl. I ring doorbell. You just come in any time. You come in any time. Ozzy girl. Ozzy girl. Hey Sophie, send that to Neopets and to KitchenWayHouse. Except for the data breach thing.

I love my 2025 resolution. Don't come too soon with your 2025. So we're doing those next week. No, no we're not. No, start next year. Start next year. No, no, we're not. Start next year. No, my 20th. Next year.

Yeah. Sorry. Sorry. You're not sorry though. It's not ready yet though. You're actually not sorry. It's not ready yet because I'm going to see it before. My 2025 news resolution is to have Kitchen Warehouse

as a sponsor of this show or a YouTube video or something. We could do the, you know, the like minute to win it. And you've got 60 seconds on the clock and it's like, whatever you can grab, whatever you can grab, but if your trolley is yours, but you can't have the same thing twice. And one of the prizes should be a soda stream. Well, I don't know if we'll get that over the line because budget restrictions and this economy, but not all of us can afford a soda stream.

Yeah, it is a, it is a luxury product. Aussie girl. My ex and I broke up because he wanted to be free and travel and okay, sure. Sure. A few years later, he's getting married and invited me to the wedding. The breakup was amicable enough and the Mexican bird he proposed to is actually lovely. And they've decided to get married in Mexico in her hometown. Yep.

And I feel a bit silly traveling all the way to Mexico to sit awkwardly in the corner and be like, oh, that's a sucky stick. So maybe I'll give it a miss. Yeah. Is this normal or not? I mean to go all that way for an ex's wedding is a lot. I don't have any ill will towards the partner for like finding love and then getting married. I think that's actually so fine.

Yep. Same. Um, I don't think I would go to an ex's wedding, especially if it was like a destination wedding. Yeah. Like if it was in Melbourne and I got invited and it was all good, I'd, you know, maybe consider it, but I definitely, I would be like, I'm going to spend that money on a holiday for myself. Are you ready for us to, me to blow our minds?

Is it still technically a destination wedding if it's, that's where she lives? Oh, sorry. Yeah. No, that's, that's fair. It's a destination. Or is every wedding a destination wedding because you're always someplace. Your eyes at a destination.

I also don't really understand the term destination wedding. No, like if I go to the winery for the day, that's my destination. Yeah. Oh, you know what I'm going to do for my wedding? Have it someplace. Yeah. Oh, travel.

Renew the passport. But a big travel, like, cause to get, I'm guessing Aussie girl is Australian. Yeah. Spoiler. But like, you know, so I'm thinking the travel isn't from LA down to fucking Mexico. I thought I was the detective.

Look at you getting scoops. I know. But you know what I mean? Yeah. So. Yeah. It's a big trip to Mexico. Like that's, that's a long way. It's expensive. Like I think you just go, I'm so big trip to Mexico. Like that's, that's a long way. It's expensive.

Like I think you just go, I'm so happy for you guys. Send a gift or pop some money in their registry or something. Yeah. Nah, normal. Yeah. Good call. I wouldn't go. If you have a, if you have a vagina, Tash has a normal or nah for you.

Great. Hi Tash. Now I'm just not going to be a gross boy about this because we're all adults. So it's already happening because you've just said that. Does anyone else wipe both front and back even if you didn't poo? Just a little courtesy wipe while you're there to freshen your butt up, you know? Normal or nah? So I've just seen Tony's, like I thought the destination wedding chat would throw over.

This is, well, nah, nah. And if I felt like it needed a wipe, then it's not a courtesy wipe. It's like it needs a wipe. It's not a courtesy. It's required. Yeah. Cause I'm thinking maybe if I had a sweaty butt, like it was real hot or something, but that's not a courtesy.

That's like, it needs it. Yeah. You're right. Just a little courtesy wipe, a little freshen up of the butt. No, I'm actually willing to get on board. Most things. Yeah. Chemist warehouse. What did I say?

No kitchen warehouses stole my data. Many times I'm still going back. Yeah. But I think I'm enough for the double Y. For the courtesy butt wife. For the courtesy butt. Sorry, Tash. Now, this is the silly boy thing that I was, this is what I thought about.

Yep. And just, it's, I'm saying, what's that thing? The impulsive, dumb, intrusive thought. Sure. I'm saying it out loud now. Yep. I shouldn't be saying, because thisulsive, dumb, intrusive thought. Sure. I'm saying it out loud now. Yep. I shouldn't be saying, because this is the dumbest thing ever. I was like, what's the male version?

Like, there doesn't need to be one necessarily. And I imagined a guy like at the piss tray. Yeah. Say you're at the football and there's like 10 guys lined up at the piss tray. And this guy is standing there at the tray and then pulls his pants right down and just wipes his butt. And he's like, Oh, just a courtesy wipe.

You know what I'm like what? He's like, sorry? You know, it was two for one for Sunday afternoon. Would you ever use a bit of toilet paper on your doodle? No, no, no. Cause I feel like it would probably like get stuck in there or rip, like the, because the paper with the, yeah, yeah, no. So that would get stuck under your foreskin.

Oh, but just because if there's liquid, the paper would. But it doesn't because how do you think otherwise anyone uses toilet paper? I'm not going to have to ask the guy in my mind who's at the distraight. But you know what I mean? Is the courtesy dick wipe? Do you know what I mean? I do know what you mean, but I don't, I. anyone uses toilet paper. I'm not going to have to ask the guy in my mind who's at the dish tray. Who's at the trough. But you know what I mean? But does the courtesy dick wipe? Do you know what I mean? I do know what you mean, but I don't, I don't.

If you had a little drippy, would you ever? Well, first of all, I think we've actually discussed the term drippy before and that it's not required language because it's. But if you had a little drippy. Yeah, yes. Yep. No, you would shake and then you just keep shaking until nothing comes out. Oh, what if you shook up at when in your face?

Has that ever happened to you? No, I don't think so, but please comment. I'd like to know about if the drippies go bloody crazy. I did say this comedy skit once and the guy was like, two shakes only. Is it's a third shake? You're masturbating. Well, that's like in a song as well. Oh, is that the?

Yeah. Yeah. Steve from Ireland has a normal on our. Save us. Oh no, this is actually worse. Why have I put these two next to each other? Fucking hell. That's a regret.

Steve from Ireland has a normal on our. Every time my boyfriend scratches his bits, he just has to give his fingers a quick sniff. We can all agree it's a bit gross, but it's so instinctual for him to sniff. He does it without even realizing. Is this normal or nah? I think it's a nah with other people in the room. If you want to have a sniff and you're doing that in your own private time and then giving your hands a bit of a wash, I think all good.

There's this video of a soccer coach on the side of the ground during a game. He's got a hand like in his butt and then he brings it out and gives it a whiff and kind of gives it a whiff. And it's like on camera and like during the TV broadcast and everyone's just like, that's he needs the courtesy, but what he's given himself a courtesy, but yeah, I think like all those things, or you know, when you kind of like, if it's, say it's the weekend or whatever, and you like kind of smell yourself,

whether it's from a scratch or you just kind of go like, fuck, I need to have a shower. Like, or it's real hot day, you know, whatever. That's different to every time you scratch that you have a little sniff. But also I have worked with people, men, that like rearrange and scratch and pull and prod and poke all day their fucking ball sacks and dicks and whatever else going on in there and It is so upsetting. How so? What do you mean? I mean how so is in like how close are they like are they like like in the office? Yeah, and there's someone that you're working near and you're just like can you fucking just like Get your fucking mind into the game?

Am I one of those people? No, no, I actually don't think I've ever really seen you do that. Okay. And Torbz also doesn't really do it. So maybe it's because I'm not around people with penises that do that a lot. But I remember being in this office and fucking looking at them and just being like, you're still doing that. Like, do you know that you're like currently like touching your cock in an office?

That's actually like illegal. You're not that far off jerking it in the workplace. You're close to me, eh? Like, are you aware that, and you kind of want to be like, am I invisible? Am I so skinny you can't see me? This isn't me defending them.

It's actually not. Are they even aware? Or is it just instinctually, they're just always grabbing their junk. And it's like, you need to go, do you actually realize you're doing that? You fucking idiot. So whilst I get what you're saying,

it's not an excuse either. I get it. Cause sometimes you just do things without thinking or whatever, but you can't. What'd you call me? You know what I mean? Like instinctively or not interrupt yourself. Yeah. Yep.

Like that's actually your responsibility. I kind of go, Oh, sorry. I just finger myself without thinking about it sometimes. I'm not allowed to do that. Supposedly. Your honor. Hey, it's Sarah from Little River in Victoria, and you're listening to Toni and Ryan. Today's episode is brought to you by Cozy, the Canadian furniture company that creates

thoughtful pieces that blend innovation and simplicity. They've got free and fast shipping in time for the holidays. So if you're someone that's left your present buying it to the last minute, Ryan, or if you're someone who decided late last night to buy it online and want it right now, Tony, you can get it fast and free. And they support our online purchases by getting it to us quickly. All furniture pieces are delivered in easy to transport boxes for free within two to five days

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Visit Cozy.ca, spelled C-O-Z-E-Y to start customizing your furniture. This episode is brought to you by Audible, which is awesome because this year I've become obsessed with audiobooks. I'm absolutely loving it. And Audible's best of the year picks are here. Discover Audible's passionately pored over, ruthlessly debated and lovingly listed selections across all of your favorite genres from gripping mysteries and thrillers to heartfelt memoirs and swoon-worthy romances. Audible's obsessively curated picks are the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment.

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All the biggest stars in one place. Finish the year on top with Audible's best of 2024 selections and discover why there's more to imagine when you listen. Listen now at audible.ca slash best of the year. Before you get into the champion tarfas, just when we stopped there and the mics were off for half a second, Tony goes, geez, they were fucking grim this close to Christmas. And I would just like to say that A, yes, it is grim, but B, I apologize. And C, being close to Christmas or not, still grim. Yeah, still grim, but I think it adds a different layer of like, oh, Christmas traits are up.

Yeah. You know. Yeah. So know. Yeah. So you shouldn't be. This is like the chat, the legal chat around having sex on Christmas day. Is it kosher or not? I haven't think one step before sex is can you have an erection with a Christmas tree visible? Oh, that's good.

Because there's only one thing erect in the room and it's the tree. Yes. Have you? This season? Um, well I've only had my tree up for a little bit and yes. You're looking at the tree like, fuck, it's a good one. Yeah. No, that's actually how I felt looking at my tree.

I was like, I get out of the pool and I'm wet for life and my little budgie smugglers. And I see that tree and I go, fuck, there's just so much happening. There's a lot of, there's so much stimulation. The way that like the cold air's hitting your wet body. The cold air's hitting my wet body. The smell of the, cause we've got a real Christmas tree. Yeah. Try and keep it down, you know?

Yeah, fuck. Yeah. Not a dry eye in the house. And I don't mean these two. Pfft. Oh. Oh. That could be, of all the things you've said in the last, what episode are we up to?

Easy, easy, 760 or something. In 760 episodes, that could be the most. There's no way. There's no way that's the worst thing I've said. The darkest, most grimest, slimmiest, awful thing I've heard. That is, there's no way that's the worst thing I've said. When people look back on this podcast in 50 years, they'll remember that. Do you reckon?

Do you know what I'm thinking? They will, because I'm going to put it on a T-shirt. Do you know what I've been thinking about recently? That guy that sent the text about touching that girl's nails. And every time I think about it, I go, bleh. Yeah. I'm going to give a shout out to a few of our champion tapas. Good on you champions.

Tash Armstrong, good on you Tash. David Townsend, love to see it, David. Thank you. Stephanie Warren, Ellie on you Tash. David Townsend, love to see it. David, thank you. Stephanie Warren, Ellie Moore, like draw. That is like the pronunciation I've given, which I really appreciate. So you might've looked at that, and it's Emily Moore.

Well, M-A-W-E-R, and I maybe would've said like, moa. Moa. Like a lawnmower. That's how, when Mabel finishes eating a mashed potato, she just like points at the thing and goes, moa. Like a lawnmower. That's how when Mabel finishes eating a mashed potato, she just like points at the thing and goes, Moa. Moa. Ellie Moore, like draw.

Thanks Ellie Moore. Jordan, good on you, Jords. Christina Reiss and a special hello to Andre Labenevix and Alyssa Simpson. They've been together for a little while and they both have a birthday in December, coincidence chat, and their anniversary is coming up as well. So love to see it. Love to see it. Congratulations.

Do we know what anniversary? I'm not sure actually, just their anniversary. Sorry about that. Don't have any more information. So my wedding's anniversary is coming up soon as well. Um, but I mean, birthdays on an anniversary, you know, what gift you could get them a Patreon membership. On sale for the same full price.

Full price. But if you're thinking about signing up to Patreon, it's actually a great time because of the season. But also- Someone can get it for you for Christmas. Someone can get it for you for Christmas. If you're interested, they can pay for a whole year. Yep.

Buy it through Patreon directly. If you buy it on Apple, you will get ripped off. And it's not because of us, they add like a 15% markup on the Apple store. So this is like, bippity bippity bippity, breaking news. Apple is rich enough, go to the website. Apple are fucking us.

We're not us, it's not our money, but you get fucked because it costs more. Patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan, go straight to the source on your desktop. Direct to the horse's mouth. Slash gift. Slash gift. Yes, gift. So you can gift a membership to somebody else so mouth. Flash gift. Flash gift. Yes, gift.

So you can gift a membership to somebody else so you don't need to know all their details. Or do you know what, like I've heard is a good little thing. You know when you like copy and paste a link, then you send that to the person that you want to buy the thing for you. When you go, oh my God, sorry, I meant to send that to someone else.

But they know. Oh, hang on, let me, because I know Secret Santa's coming up. No, because you're gonna send that to someone else, but they know. Oh, hang on. Let me, because I know Secret Santa's coming up. Cause you're going to send me that golf thing, but I, it's like $300. Is it? I looked at it the other day. The set you sent me was $200. So I found a toddler's golf set and I sent it to Tony and said, get me this.

After? It's a three year olds. And I sent it to Sophie's husband as well. After. I said, we should get one of these. I'd already kind of. Did he talk about that text? No, maybe I'm getting it for Christmas's husband as well. I said, we should get one of these. I'd already kind of- Did he talk about that text? No, maybe I'm getting it for Christmas.

I hope so. Bring it to work. Yeah, well, I'm gonna set your expectations right now. You are not getting that. Yeah, that's right. I would have assumed it was $49. But I already organized something else. For whoever you got.

For whoever I got. So you are not getting that golf thing. But do you know what's gonna happen? On Boxing Day, it's going to be $6. We'll buy it then. Also, Rhian doesn't have my phone number. That's Sophie's husband. And I- So she says. So I just texted him and said, dude, we should totally get these. Yeah. I think you also texted him like on his birthday. So he was probably like, what the fuck is going on? But he, I don't think he knew it was for me. No, some random guys like we should get a toddler's golf thing. Did you not say it was you? No, I just said, dude,

check out this golf thing. It looks fucking sick. He's like, I'm not clicking on that link. That's probably kitchenware. One of those classic texts from Neopets. It actually looks like, it looks like a dodgy as website. I went to buy it and I was like, that's expensive. And also I don't want them having my address. Yeah. Ryan, you might've got flash for spam.

I wouldn't be the first time this week. All right. Christmas spam. Australian. We're about to learn about Australian culture and the relationship I have with. What? So I've just remembered a dream I had last night and I was just like slicing Christmas ham up and eating it. That was the dream.

That wasn't a dream, man. Or that is the dream. The dream. You're on the beach. It's a beautiful hot sunny day. You're a bit crusty from like the salt water like drying on you and your hair's still a bit wet. And you just got a big hunk of Christmas ham between a bit of bread.

A lot of butter on it. A lot of butter. Fuck me up. I want a ham so bad today. I want a ham so bad. I might go to a butcher and just go, hey, mate, you got a little chunk of something I can just gnaw at the salvo? You literally can get from Coles and will worsen stuff.

They have like the little knobs. Well, they can keep their little knob. I want a full fucking thigh. You can't do a full hock this soon. All right. Sorry. So most mornings I go to this place in McLeod and grab a coffee on the way into work and there's just that friendly, as someone who goes in often, they don't know my name.

I don't know their name, but it's like a nod of, yeah, I see you every day. Hey, you know, just polite cafe chat. I think as well for most cafe workers, that's probably cause like the interaction of ordering a coffee is not that long. Like, you know, there's some people you chat to and it takes a while cause you're like ordering heaps up, but if you go in there and go, Hey mate, how are you? Can I grab a flat white? You know, that's what two seconds.

We bonded over, I think they were working cup day, which is a public holiday here in Melbourne. And the day before I was like, Oh, I'm working tomorrow. You guys going to be here in the morning? And the guy goes, Yeah, we are. And I went double time. And he goes, yeah, and we kind of had like, I get it. You get it. Double time. Fuck. Yeah. Yeah.

Also lighten up to the cup. So you're like, what a champion you're fucking working. I'm working. I'm here. If you're going to get up and come into work, you're going to get double time and I'll come in and get it. Come and get a coffee. Yeah.

Put some money through all good. So we're kind of like, a bit of chat, but I wouldn't say we're bros, but I'm like, we're past strangers. Okay. You know what I mean? Ooh, what's the scale? It's like a dot com right in real life, which makes no sense. But it's just like, yep, we're a part of-

Casual acquaintance. We're a small part of each other's day, which is quite lovely. I look forward to walking in there and just giving them the nod. Sometimes it's just a nod. I don't even really say much in neither do they, but we just know that I would probably die for those guys. Question. Yeah.

Do you have a usual? Yeah. So if you go in there, do you even say what you want? Or they just go, Hey mate, like just you use. Um, I walk in and they go, um, and cap and I go, yeah, and he goes, no props, man, huge. Or there was a, almond cap. And I go, yeah. And he goes, no probes, mate. Huge. Or there was a time where I was transitioning

from soy to almond and they knew I was on a bit of a journey. So they go like, almond or soy today, mate. And I went, oh, I probably should go with the almond. Ryan, that is huge. I would die for these guys. Why didn't you, why haven't you ever fucking shared that before? I would die for these guys.

Well, I'm sharing now. This is the biggest thing I'll share on this podcast this month. I've never had a usual before. Thanks for laughing at it. Get over it. You've never had a usual? No, I've never had a usual.

Oh, what's the usual when you turn up to the office in the morning? You clap for me. Every day Tony arrives in the office, I announce her to the crowd. Yeah, and there's no one else here. That's a usual though. But I like it, that's a usual thing. But I've never been to a place and they go, oh, okay. You're

here for your ice latte. Let me make some calls. Oh, sorry. Just hiccup done. Laughter. It's a huge day. I'm thinking about the ham. I'm thinking about the usual. I just saw you hiccup and laugh at the same time and I didn't know if you were going to make it. I thought I might throw up. Yeah, it was huge. Which was interesting. All right, so let me set the scene. Yep. I've gone in, I think I went to like the local IGA, which is like across the street from the cafe.

Yep. And I bought three items. Yep. And then I'm carrying these three items into the cafe as I order my coffee. Yep. Cause I've got these items for like my morning and you know, my day at work, whatever. Yep. Cause I've got these items for like my morning and you know, my day at work, whatever.

Yep. And I walk in and he sees the items. Yep. And goes, and I go, yeah. And then he leans back and goes, breakfast of champions. Ooh. And then we both piss ourselves laughing cause it's clearly not breakfast from champions. Ooh. And then we both piss ourselves laughing because it's clearly not breakfast from champions. Yeah. And even the guys like out the back of the cafe.

We all had a good chuckle at this guy going, breakfast of champions. OK, now here is your challenge. I had three items. I'm going to give you 10 guesses. OK, in total, figure out these three items. And again, I've walked in, I wasn't like hungover. No, I think I know what it was. But the look of like, like is in, fuck, you know,

breakfast of champions and I go, yeah. Yeah, a Gatorade. Correct. Yeah, I know you. A pre-made meal like my muscle chef or like a microwave single serve meal. That is often a go-to because I'm on my way to work. But no, that would not be a breakfast of champions.

And also don't actually know that. Yeah, no, that's not what it was. OK, so have I got one wrong? One from two. Or is that two guesses? No, you're one from you. One out. You get 10 total. OK. Or including the correct ones. Or I can get 10 wrong.

No. OK. Um, like, I don't know if what it was specifically, Oh, including the correct ones, or I can get 10 wrong. No. Okay. I don't know what it was specifically, but I'm gonna guess like a bar or block of chocolate. I had a Mars bar. Two from three. I fucking, and would that not normally be the three things that you would get a gain rate of pre-made meal on it? You will get the last one.

things that you would get a Gatorade, a pre-made meal on it. You will get the last one. Was it some type of medicine like hydrolyte or ibuprofen or Imodium or something? I'm going to let you, you have to be specific. You can't use a category, but I'm going to say choose your medication. Anti-histamine. Bang! Done! Thank you very much. Thank you very much. There it is. Bang, done. Thank you very much. Thank you very much. There it is. I fucking missed.

Mars bar, Gatorade and an anti-histamine. And I go, yeah, can I get an extra strong coffee? And he goes, oh, breakfast is good. I gave her a Mars bar and an anti-histamine. Put it in me. I deserve a fucking Emmy for that. Order of Australia. Oh, an Emmy, what category?

Good Cunt. Oh, sorry. That was unreal for me. Great comedy from our best mate at the cafe. Yeah, I would die for those guys. Oh, sorry. I'm so chuffed beyond fucking belief that I got that so right.

So I rolled into the Mars bar, a big box of Zyrtex and an extra large Gatorade. And you can imagine you go, whoa, what's going on over there? And I go, yeah, man, can I get an extra shot today? And he just goes, fuck, dude, how are you going? Also, a Mars bar feels vintage, but I'm here for it. It is vintage, but I'm just a vintage guy. I love it. I'm old school. Do you know what? I'm fucked with that new shit but I'm just a vintage guy. I love it. I'm old school. Do you know what I'm

fucked with that new shit? I'm a Mars bar man. I do like a Mars bar. I love a Twix. I feel like a Twix is like the unsung hero. Do you know what? If I'm going for a single Mars, like a single chocolate bar, do you know what I don't mind fucking with? A Kit Kat chunky. They are good. I fuck with the Kit Kat chunky. They are good. But fuck with the Kit Kat chunky. But some, because I'm a vintage guy, that's since five seconds ago. Sometimes I feel like, if you want a Kit Kat bro, just go on old school and don't fuck around

with the fancy flashy stuff. But the caramel? The Kit Kat chunky though. The caramel chunky? I'm an original chunky. Don't put that into a video please. I don't think I can deal with bullying this close to Christmas. Yeah, no, good dog.

All good. All good. Let's see what you have to say. That's that's fucking amazing though. I love that. I got one here. Check your phone. Tapa Kit Lace.

She has a son who's three years old. And even though he's just three years old, the son has just got his yellow belt at Karate. Oh my god, so cute, the little outfit. The little outfit, the huge belt, just like I did when I was little, he's got the gap in the teeth and the big curly hair and he just looks like he's having... That huge smile. That huge smile. I've never seen a kid look like he's had more fun. And Tapa, her name is Kit, she goes,

oh, when he's there and having a great time, don't you just love to see that? I thought I'd share and thank you for sharing because that has actually made my day. That is amazing. After the Mars bar, the Gatorade, the antihistamine and the strong almond cappuccino, that has made my day.

I'm glad. I've got something else that is a bit of the energy of like this close to Christmas. Okay. As a sentence, as a vibe, as a feeling, as an energy that I feel like we're talking about. Also, I'm pretty sure like only recently we talked about like we're fucking, we're tired.

It's energy. We're spending money. We get through. I bought some real hell dumb shit last night. I've got like fucking eight packages on the go. Yeah. Like it's not good. It's not good. Anyway, this tweet from Jay Zucks says,

in my brain it's now the holidays. Do not schedule meetings with me. Nope. Do not follow up with me. No, thank you. We will talk in January. Sounds like next year's problem. Sounds like we'll circle back in the new year.

Yeah. Isn't that a fucking real line around this time of the year? And we'll also see if I still work here then. Yeah. And I might, you know, you know, well, working from home, you know, working from home might be, having some ham on the beach.

Yeah. I didn't realize you lived in a ham hock. Didn't realize that Mars bars were on the cards for breakfast at this time of the year. We'll talk about granola in January. Don't you come at me with cereal right now? Doesn't getting a Mars bar, intending for it to be like with lunch and then just like eating it immediately, just really set your day up right. It helps you work, rest and play. You have always said that. I actually coined that phrase. Yeah. All right. Tomorrow on the show, a video

show. You can watch it on YouTube. You know, the other thing that hits when you like get to work with your lunch and you're already hungry and you eat your lunch at breakfast or like at 10 a.m. You go, I've eaten my sandwich already. I have to order something. Yeah. Oh, what a shame. I've got to go down to that cafe and get that yum salad or something. Sandwich. Another sandwich. Yeah, who am I trying to impress? Tomorrow on the show, accidentally horny. Talking about these Mars bars, I mean.

That's no accident. Being around those Christmas trees, all that. It helps you work, rest and slay. It's the season to be horny. Fa la la la la la la, fuck me. See you tomorrow. Love you, bye. Let's get a Mars bar. season to be horny. Fa la la la la la la. Fuck me. See them. Let's get a Mars bar.

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