Toni and Ryan - Bridezilla Karma

Episode Date: July 7, 2022

One of us 'won' the roadtrip to Sydney and I'm not happy about it. PLUS the most incredible spills from our TARPers. Love ya! T xxx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi. Hi, Lynne. Now, Lynne, be honest. We called you a few minutes ago. Why were you unable to answer? I was on the toilet. Tony didn't know that. Lynne just texted me going, call me back, I'm off the toilet now.

Oh, Lynne, you could have made up a cool story, like you were hooking up with someone or... Well, no. There was someone going in, there was something going out. I was really on the toilet, yeah. Oh, Lynn. Well, now that you're free and we're all feeling good. It's 4.30, so I was, like, awake from 4, around 4,

and I was, like, waiting, around four, and I was like waiting. And just when I received the two calls, I was on the toilet. Oh, caught you at a bad time. But we would love to know if now that you're not on the toilet, you wouldn't mind approving this podcast? Of course I will. Yay! I'm Lynn from Belgium, and I approve this podcast.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. We are back from our road trip. Surprisingly still friends. Surprisingly still friends. Surprisingly still friends. I predicted halfway on the way home we'd start to, cracks would set to appear. Yeah. Would I almost correct? Oh, I mean, speak to my manager, mate. My name is Ryan. I'm the vice captain of the ship, the butter to Tony Lodge's bread. And coming up, unfortunate spills as well.

When you've had a spill on the shirt, Tony may or may not have had a spill before meeting some important people during the week. It turns out, Tony, you're not alone though, so this might make you feel better to hear some of the awful situations that people listen to this podcast have got themselves into spilling stuff on them. That's coming up soon. I just hate it because it's normally you. Like it's normally always you.

And it was me. But anyway, we'll get to that in a sec. The tables have turned and it feels good not to be the grubby one. So as we kind of just broached, we went on a road trip together. We drove from Melbourne to Sydney. We had to go up there for, oh, you might have seen us on the telly. Yep. It was a big deal.

Go and check that out on the socials now. You can as well. Well done. Look at you. We drove, yeah, from Melbourne to Sydney. What is it, like nine hours in the car or something? And we knew that it would test the bounds of our friendship. That's a long time to be in the car together.

Just two of you? Yeah. No buffer? No. No wild card third in the back seat? No. And there's no other person that's like, oh, let me be the DJ for a bit or let me drive for a bit.

It was just literally the two of us. Random question. Question. If you were in the car for an hour, would you rather be travelling 100 kilometres an hour, so you rather be travelling 100 kilometres an hour, so you're travelling 100 kilometres, or travel 5km down the road stuck in traffic, or is it the same to you? Even though you're in the car for the same amount of time, I feel like travelling that far, it makes me feel like I'm moving

and I'm getting somewhere. Like more accomplished. Yeah, but when I'm in traffic, it's like claustrophobic. We're stuck in traffic. We're not doing anything and it's just frustrating, even though, like I said, you're still sitting in the same car for the same amount of time. But I feel like as well if there's a time pressure,

like if you're running late for something or you're trying to get there by a certain time, then being stuck in traffic, especially for me, someone very anxious, someone that doesn't like being late, agony. Agony. Because I'm looking at the clock is the clock is like just ticking up, ticking up, ticking up. I'm watching the lights go green but no one's moving forward.

Anyway, luckily. Would you be screaming? No, I wouldn't be screaming. I've seen you on the road, mate. You fire up. Oh, fuck. No, I. See, this is what I'm talking about.

Okay, you haven't seen me on the road because you were asleep the whole fucking time. Okay, it's begun, has it? Mm-hmm. Okay, go on. Topic number one. I've got four gripes. Okay. Okay. The first thing, oh, I don't want to start with that because it's so angry, but it's true. So we got in the car, we left at 5am. Yep. We get on the road, you drove for the first

half. And then I said, all right, let's switch. I'll drive. I started driving and you kind of go, I'll drive. I started driving and you kind of go. And I can kind of see that, you know, you're a bit toasty, you're a bit warm, you're a bit comfy, you're in your trackies and your sweater. And I was like, oh, mate, if you fall asleep, like, that's okay. And you're like, oh, would that be rude? And I was like, no, no, no, no.

So just to confirm, you brought up the idea of me having a sleep. Because you were basically already asleep. And then confirmed that it was fine. Please continue. And you went, would that be rude? And I went, no, mate, no, no, no, no, no. To be polite. You know, I was just trying to be polite.

You were very polite. And I went, no, no, no, no, no. And you went. And then you slept until we got to Sydney pretty much. I asked if you had gone, oh, yeah, actually kept me awake, but I went, yeah, fair enough. I don't think you could have. But thank you for being polite.

I don't think you could have stayed awake. I don't think that even if I said, mate, actually, yeah, like could you keep me company, you know, fuck it, long drive. Like the weather was pretty crazy. Yeah, it was real crazy. It was. Thank you for taking the more brutal half of the trip, if I'm being fair.

My half was pretty crazy. How brutal was it? Oh, you don't know because you were asleep. Wouldn't know because I was asleep. But I did see on the news later that there was weather warnings. Yes. A lot of discussion on the news about whether you should or not be on the road in the first place, trains closed,

lakes overflowing. Glad I didn't have to deal with that shit. Well, I would like to know, maybe people could respond in the Facebook group on today's thread. That's fine. You decided it was fine and we can move on with our lives. How would you feel about your one passenger falling asleep? And then because, like, I was driving and at the time

we didn't have any music playing because we'd just been chatting. Yeah. You fell asleep and there was no music on. Why didn't you put the music on? Because I was driving. So I couldn't touch my phone. Of course. And I was going 110 kilometres an hour on the highway.

Minimum. So I didn't want to fuck off. Actually, that leads me perfectly to my next point. Shit. You know what? The more I speak, the worse this is going to go for me, isn't it? Yes. One of the things, when we were talking about going on this

road trip, how did you pitch me? How did you get me across the line to go in the car instead of on the plane? I was going to say instead of on the air. That's what we're doing now. The airports are cooked. It's chaos.

There's COVID is around again. Let's take my mum's car. The airports are cooked. It's chaos. There's COVID is around again. Let's take my mum's car. She's got cruise control, heated seats. We can settle in and cruise the whole way there. Ryan goes, mate, you said it. You forget it. We'll be on our way. We'll be able to, you know, we'll be able to work.

We'll be able to talk about ideas. And cruise control was a really interesting point. When we got in the car, like I said before, you took the first watch. Thanks for that, mate. Appreciate it. You set the cruise control to whatever. Let's just say somewhere near the speed limit. Near the speed limit.

But you kept driving like with your foot on the accelerator. Did I? So while we were driving, we were like chatting or whatever and you were obviously like. I think we were chatting and I was involved in the chat and I couldn't, I'm a male, I can't multitask. But instead of taking your foot off the accelerator, which is like what you do while you're driving on cruise control,

like obviously you don't just like tuck your feet up and like put them away. Don't you? Well, you don't. Put them in the boot. Like they're there. They're ready to go. Yeah.

But you're kind of like, you know, you don't put your foot on the accelerator. I don't think you know how cruise control works, even though it was like one of the things that you used to get me over the line. Okay. First of all, I haven't owned a car for a year and I rarely drive anywhere other than the city.

I was just so enthralled to be having a conversation with one of Australia's funniest people that I was so distracted and I get accused of this often by Bridget. At times we were going 70, at times we were going a lot faster than the speed limit because I was concentrating on having a conversation with you and then you could have said in the first 20 minutes hey mate why don't you put the cruise control on but for some reason you waited four hours to go do you know how this fucking works no but you did have the cruise control on yeah yeah it's just that you were

also accelerating reminded me to let it do its job. So, Toni, are you going to apologise? Oh, well, I guess it's one all. That's how it works. That's how it works. One all. You know what? I'm sorry. Best of five.

Here we come. Fucking hell. Thanks for saying sorry. Thanks for not just saying you owe me an apology but for actually saying sorry. One all. I hate this because it was not my fault. And I predict that everyone in the episode thread will agree with me.

One all. R.I.P. My ats today. I was going to say, are you still not caught up on sleep, mate? This one isn't really a competition, but it was lovely. As soon as we kind of got to that 110 kilometre per hour zone, you kind of hit like regional Victoria. This is my favourite part of the trip, actually.

This is real good. When you get away from the big smoke and into the country. You get out of the city, mate. Into the farmyards and stuff, all the cattle and the sheep. And we met someone, didn't we? Who do we meet when we're out there? Regional Tony. Regional Tony.

Can I remind everybody, we borrowed Ryan's mum's car and it is like a really lovely SUV. It's a lovely car. It's a Mercedes and lots of people saw us on the Instagram stories and were like, jeez, Tony's finance team's pulled out the works. I was like, it's my mum's car, relax. It's Ryan's mum's car. And if that isn't the most like underage band thing you've ever heard,

like, oh, yeah, we're taking Ryan's mum's car to the bloody big city. So it was hardly a regional trip. Like it was, you know, done in style. It was like the equivalent of glamping. It's as if there was a, someone had drawn a line that said, when Tony gets 45 kilometres from the middle of the city, out the window goes the young, urban, metro, cool, chic Tony Lodge and the regional rodeo yahoo and cowboy that is regional Tony

enters the group chat. Yeah, I take off my Adidas's and I slip into my RM Williams's. I'm a new woman. She's chewing tobacco, spitting it out the window. She's swearing even more than Metro Tony. Oh, fuck off. Well, see, well. Sorry.

I'm back in the city. Metro Tony still swears but not as bad as regional Tony. And suddenly I'm hearing these stories about how good it would be to drive an old Fairlane and wouldn't it be great to get on a dirt bike and just suddenly she's like, oh, maybe I will get a flannelette sort of vibe this winter in Melbourne going on. And suddenly I'm sitting there going, does anyone recognise this person? It's like she's regional Tony.

The reason that we were triggered to actually notice it is because I said. What was it? It's because I said, that's a bit of hard yakka. Well, we saw someone doing a hard day's work. I don't even think we did. I was probably like, oh, yeah, going down to the shops, that's a bit of hard yakka, which I've never said in my life. And translation.

I was going to say, for people not in Australia, what does that mean? Hard work, right? So, oh, you've rounded up all the cows from the paddock. Was it hard work? Oh, it's a bit of hard yakka. Bit of hard yakka. And out of nowhere, regional Tony again enters the group chat and we're like, when was the last time you said that?

I don't think I've ever said it. I literally cannot recall a time when I've ever said hard yakka before. Maybe I should have asked you on the other side of the line because regional Tony would know where she got it. Probably. My other persona. Yeah, now I'm talking to Metro Tony. She's just as. past you on the other side of the line because regional Tony would know where she got it. Probably. My other persona. Yeah, now I'm talking to Metro Tony.

She's just as. But regional Ryan got a bit weird as well. I don't think so. You said babe a lot. I was incepted by a guy at the cafe. You did? Oh, yeah, we heard this guy ordering a cafe and he kept calling the waitress babe and it was not for us. Can you, listening to this podcast, confirm, if you don't know the person, you're at a cafe, you go to order a coffee and you go, babe, and it was not for us. Can you, listening to this podcast, confirm,

if you don't know the person, you're at a cafe, you go to order a coffee and you go, yeah, I'll just get a cappuccino, thanks, babe. That's fucking weird, right? Because Tony and I both looked at each other and went, is he right? It was the tone. It wasn't kind like, thanks, style, or something like that. It was a bit condescending.

It was a bit like, yeah, thanks, babe. And we didn't like that. But then somehow it got into my vernacular for the day. Great use of the term vernacular. Apparently vernacular's in my vernacular. This ain't going to last. Wow. I might as well use it a few times.

We're new girls. We're honestly new girls. It's like when I went to Albury. There's something about crossing the border. It's really done us in. I started saying, babe, Tony was dropping hard yakkers. We were listening to Skrillex and Bangarang. I mean, I don't recognise me from yesterday.

No, it was a big day. All right, let's say that's two ones to Ryan. What's the fourth point? For some reason I've just given myself a point for you being a fucking regional legend. That's fine. Regional legend? Mate, it's the hard yakas.

Actually, can someone say in their, like in the episode thread, what's the saying in your country that's like the redneck, like what's your version of a line you would only say if you were like from a regional area in your country? Because I'm guessing even in European countries there's like the city and then there's like, you know, the countryside and the people might be, you know, slightly different vernacular, if I may. Wow, if I may.

Whatever that is for your country. And can somebody please give a running tally of how many times Ryan says vernacular before he forgets what it means? Ask me what it means next Monday. The last one actually that I have to bring up is probably something that you can take care of because you didn't actually finish your story while we were in the car together. What story? You might remember yesterday on the way back from Sydney and you go, I had the craziest dream last night.

Oh, fuck you. Yeah, nah. Nope, nope. I don't do dream chat because I'm not boring. Apparently you do. Apparently regional Ryan does do dream chat, babe. And it was a bit of hard yakka listening to it, if I'm honest. I said something crazy happened in my dream. You lost your shit because I'm on the record of saying I don't do dream chat. Multiple times. Yep. And then I

instantly panicked because, correct, I don't like dream chat. And I suddenly brought it up. You actually didn't instantly realise? You started telling me the dream. Would you like me to refresh your memory? No. You said, I had the craziest dream last night. Have you written this down? Yep. Okay, go on.

I do prep for this show. Regional Tony put in some hard yakka. You said, I had the craziest dream last night. It was a dream about BJ, your dog. My dog. I hadn't seen him for a few nights. And we were on a school camp. We were in a bunk bed.

I'd love for you to fill us in on the rest of it. No, no, no, no. Not interesting. The floor is yours. No, it's really fine. And you know how I can prove that I'm not into dream chat and I'm anti-dream chat? You and I were together on the way home for nine hours in the car.

How long was, I was awake for a lot more of it than the trip up. Is that fair to say? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah. And considering we had nine hours of conversation, I still didn't think Dream Chat was worth it. Everything else we fucked on about for nine hours, which was a lot of weird shit by the end of it.

We were starting businesses. We were decorating caravans. We were. We were doing all sorts of weird shit to keep ourselves entertained. And even as weird as our conversations get, not once did I went, you know what's even more interesting than this? Dream chat because it's fucking not. And you know where that story is?

It's hanging out with regional Tony out near fucking Beechworth somewhere in a bakery where it fucking belongs a long way from here. That is my monologue. I have won the road trip. Here's the ad. Well done, Ryan. How do you like them apples? Student in a pie, sweetheart.

I'm Lynn from Belgium, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Yeah. and Ryan. You're listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. On Monday, we're going to hook you up with somebody. With each other? No. You and I? No.

Because we did just spend the week in a hotel together. No, you're thinking of hooking up together. Oh, I. No. Because we did just spend the weekend in a hotel together. No, you're thinking of hooking up together. Oh, sorry, sorry. You and I are going to hook people who listen to this podcast. Oh, with what? Well, when we were in Sydney. Yeah. We met some important people.

We shook some hands. Yep. And I want you to think about if you could do anything in the world. Yep. What would you like to do? Just have a think about that over the weekend. Yep. And on Monday, we might have something for you. We could make your dream chat a reality.

What a fucking lie. Excuse me. Fucking suck me. Put that on a T-shirt. Shit. Wow. Maybe we will make merch. Yeah.

A big thank you to a few of our champion tabloids over on our Patreon. Nkemka Obanesh, Tegan Stone, Carrie Clays, Lottie Hardy, Hugo Lever. Thank you so much. Kaylee Ray, Luke Ducky, Janine Oxland, Hayley Poulter. Hayley Poulter like Harry Potter. Curtis Reef and Emma Betts. Thank you so much for buying our exclusive content. Now, I want you to have a think about a time that you have spilt stuff

all over yourself. Now I, just like my grandpa, I'm a king of spilling stuff all over my shirt. Very rarely will I go out with a white shirt because. You know what's going to happen. You're just asking for trouble. Yeah. To the point where we'll go somewhere nice and Bridget goes. Are you sure?

Do you want to wear a darker shirt? And so here's the, because sometimes I have like dandruff a little bit. It happens to the best of us. I get it too. So if you wear a black shirt, sometimes you can see a bit of the dandruff. And then if I have a white shirt, you're like, oh, no, you're asking for food. So like my –

You go grey? Well, right now I'm wearing a grey. So I'm like I can't get to the edges. Split the difference. Yeah, split the difference. Put on a grey shirt, son. See how you go. But I want you to have a think about if you've,

obviously we've all spilt something on ourselves at one time or another, but like what was the most embarrassing time? Because when you're at home you can just clean yourself up, put another shirt on, but if you're out for something important. Yep. And I just mentioned that we went to Sydney and met some important people and just before we did that we had some breakfast together and what did you do, Tony Lodge?

It was a fucking rookie mistake. Not only was I wearing a white T-shirt. Very rookie. I cut into roast tomato with eggs. Might as well have just thrown a grenade in the air. Exactly. I might as well have gone fucking paintballing. So I picked it up and all of the inside part of the tomato

just splattered all over me right boob. And it was an absolute, like it wasn't a little bit. all of the inside part of the tomato just splattered all over me right boob. Yep. And it was an absolute, like it wasn't a little bit. It was like everywhere. Multiple splashes. Like I looked like I had been shot. Yeah. So I asked the tapas to make you feel a bit better.

I said, hey, Tony had a bit of a rough start the other day. Maybe you can share some of your stories. That's kind. And, hey, we can all be messers together. And as much as I didn't drop stuff on my shirt that day and I had a bit of a chuckle, this is one. A bit of a chuckle? You filmed it and then put it on the internet.

This is one area. Oh, sorry, can you not hear me? This is one area where I will not be making fun of you because, heaven forbid, I, Ryan, would make, because this is not my area to get on my high horse. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. You seem shocked. Don, what have you got to say, mate?

You got something to say? What have you got to say? You feel like you're sitting on something there. I did try to eat in the car whilst driving, a wrap, and that did not end well for me. Oh, but also the rap had the randomest stuff in it. Yeah, it was a shit rap. Anyway. Sean McGee.

Hi, Sean. Sorry, that's Sean McKee. Hi, Sean McKee. I once, now this, I don't know how this fucking. He's got the McKee to my heart. Well, not after you hear this. Okay. I once spilled salsa on the living room carpet the day the new carpet was installed.

Afterwards, obviously, when the new one was in, not right before, by chance the old one was getting ripped up. Hey, it's our last day with the old carpet. I might eat salsa standing up and just see what happens. No. So they just lay in this new carpet. And you can imagine your parents, you know, it's the family home. We've been living here for years.

Finally, we can like spruce it up a bit, do a bit of renovation. Hey, you know what would be great, babe? If we got brand new carpet and it would just, you know, that feeling of new thick carpet and your feet just slide into it and it's warm. There is nothing better. And then old mate, old mate Sean McKee just rolls on in with some salsa. I'm surprised salsa was allowed in the room.

Yeah, I reckon that. Keep that shit in the kitchen, mate. Yeah. That needs to be in an area where the floor can be wiped, I feel. Yeah. I bet your mum changed the McGlocks after that. Jessie writes, not a spill per se, but it was my first day at a new job and I went to the bathroom and I sat down to do a tinkle and started hearing what sounded like water

on the floor only to realize I was sitting too far forward on the seat and was sitting a weird way. And the pee wasn't going down the front, like into the toilet. It was going down the front of the bowl and then ended up going into their, because you know that's where your pants would be. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So they essentially were sitting on the toilet, peeing in their own pants.

First day at a new job. I'd leave. All right. You've seen a job online. You've applied for it. You've done the pre-interview. You've come in for the proper interview. You've negotiated salary and start time.

It's your first day. It's 9am. You go to the bathroom and Tony. I would leave. Honestly, I would be like, thank you so much. I'd leave my pass on my desk and just walk out. Move country probably. Learn a new language. Start a new life. I had to frantically dry my pants. So they're standing there in their underwear, holding their pants under the hand dryer. Oh, my God. And they're just like trying to dry them standing there in their underwear. Oh, my. And then it's the stress of someone maybe walking in,

seeing you in your G-string. G'day, love. Is this what you guys do here? Far out. Nikki Francis is now a teacher. Love to see that, by the way. Congratulations. During college, and this is a classic college job,

she worked as like a server at a wedding catering company. Don't. This is what Nikki says. Nikki, no. Nikki, no. One day I wanted to deliberately, accidentally, but deliberately spill red wine on this bride's dress because she was so rude to all of the staff. Oh, I'm on board.

She was a bridezilla. She was a bitch. Yeah. I mean, I know it's your day, but it doesn't mean you can't treat everyone else like a human. You know one of those. We all know the type, don't we? Yeah, I do.

And those people are never, ever nice to, not even just on her wedding day. No. She's never been nice to a waiter or a waitress in her life or someone that, like, works at Coles. Yeah. So they're in the kitchen out the back with the other waitresses getting ready for the next course or, you know, getting the plates ready or whatever they're doing.

Yeah. And she's like, I'm going to spill red wine on this bitch. Like she said jokingly, but she's like, I would have loved to, but obviously I'm joking. But you would never do it. You would never do it. But I kind of said to the, and, you know, the waitresses all that back, oh, yes, oh, yeah, oh, tell me about it.

Oh, you should do it. Ha, ha, ha. They're probably out there having a ciggy. Yeah, and they're just bitching about it. No, it's sad. She's such a fucking bitch. Yeah, and then everyone's like, ha, ha, ha. They're probably out there having a ciggy. Yeah, and they're just bitching about it. Oh, she's such a fucking bitch. Yeah, and then everyone's like, ha, ha, but seriously, like, don't though. It's that thing where like, oh, wouldn't that be funny?

Obviously I wouldn't. But like imagine if you did. But like, oh, I'm going to go out there and fucking dump cake on her head, ha, ha. I wouldn't, but ha, ha, ha, yep. So they're having that bitch out, like you said, out the side door in the back room and then suddenly having a cig, having a smoke, doing their thing. Wouldn't it be good?

I'm just so stressed. She just keeps yelling at me. So they're out the back and then you know what they hear? What? They hear from the main room inside the wedding. They hear, ah! No. They rush out of the kitchen into the main room where all the guests

and the bride are, and the bride had accidentally spilled an entire glass of red wine on herself and spent the rest of the night crying about it, and if that ain't karma, I don't know what is, says Nicky Francis. The fact that she did it to herself, it probably just would have made her meaner though. I don't know what is, says Nikki Francis. The fact that she did it to herself, it probably just would have made her meaner though. Yeah. Don't you reckon?

Because if that happened, you would just be so fucked up because wedding dress, expensive, right? And that's the one day. It's not like I'll tidy it up, it'll be fine next week. Well, it doesn't, like I'm wearing it now. I hope they'd gotten lots of photos already. Well, surely if they got to the reception, then probably I hope so. But could you imagine the, what would you call,

the silent vindication? He's like, oh, I'm so sorry, can we get you a serviette and some soda water? Yeah, you know. All right, and finally, this is Grant. He's on a first date. Oh, no. Bet it wasn't Grant.

He's sitting at the restaurant. He's met this girl online and he's like, yep, let us take us out for dinner. We'll have a chat and get to know each other. That's cute. Yep. You know, I'll get us a table for two at this nice little fun restaurant down the street. So he's sitting there and this girl walks in looking real sheepish

and she already has red wine all down the front of her. It turns out she tripped on the step into the restaurant and bumped into a waitress and spilt red wine on herself on the way into a first date. And again, would you leave the country? Probably. What would you do in this situation, Tony Lodge? I think that that is actually, for a first date,

is probably a really good icebreaker because I thought you were going to say that the date was like, look, I'm going to go have, I'm really nervous about meeting Grant for the first time. I'll have a red wine at the bar around the corner or something. Loosen up a little. Yeah, loosen up a bit, bit of Dutch courage. Liquid confidence. Yeah, before I walk in there.

But the fact that she's going to, I mean, still embarrassing. Still really embarrassing. But pretty good icebreaker to she's going to, I mean, still embarrassing. Still real embarrassing. But pretty good icebreaker to be like, fuck, we're not tipping her. She fucked my top. I got this from Susanne's. Wheezy's in the house at the first date. Far out. Shout out to Susanne's apparently.

Not sponsored. In 2022, still the first clothing store you think of. Fucking hell. Well, Grant actually agrees with you, Tony. Yeah. And I actually believe this about dress-up parties when you're all dressed up like a fuckhead. It takes the pretentiousness and the coolness out of the room

and it just goes, it is what it is. I am who I am. What an idiot. And you get such a good gauge of a person's personality out of that because if they can handle that, if they go, fuck, this happened on my way and can you believe it, and they're willing to sit there, that's it. She came in and was just laughing and sheepish and embarrassed

and she's like, I'm so sorry. And he's like, I don't mind. It doesn't faze me, but are you okay? Yeah, are you comfortable? And it actually is a great icebreaker because he's sort of taken care of her. She's like, oh, I'm so embarrassed. And he's like, don't be comforting her. And, I mean, what a win.

Then she goes, you know what I'll do? I'll fix this. And then she like calls the waitress over and goes, can I get a soda water and some napkins? You know, isn't that the trick? You put a bit of soda water and like pat it out or whatever. Yeah. Grant says, on this first date, I spent the,

there's a lady in front of me talking the whole night. They got along really well with a fully wet white see-through shirt. And if you've never had to be like, look at her eyes, look at her eyes, don't look down, don't look down, look at her eyes, oh my God. Because it's like, I can see pretty much everything right there. And I am a gentleman, or at least that's what I'm trying to portray on a first date. So I'm going to look you straight in the eye. Oh, but at least if she had a flip down and been a total arsehole, then you'd be like, you know what?

How about you go home, let's set up another date, and then you leave the country. I can confirm, and thank you so much, Grant, for sending through this story, they are now married. Don't you love to see that? God. And you're on for a test of character. I guess he ended up seeing what was under the shirt after all.

Don't you love to see that? He's like, and you won't believe it, on our wedding day, she spilled wine all over her wedding dress as well. Thank you to everyone for sharing their unfortunate spill story. And you're not alone, Tony Lodge. Oh, that actually does make me feel a lot better. Mine definitely wasn't a first date or at a wedding, but it was a business meeting.

It was an important day for us. Yeah, it was. And it is what it is. These things happen. Yeah. My love to see it to round out the week is you probably would have seen this trend doing the rounds on TikTok and Instagram lately of he's an eight, but he drives a tractor or something.

Yeah, she's a six, but she dresses from Suzanne. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So she's a 12. Yeah, 27. I saw this meme and I thought it was very me and I would love to share it. It says, she's a 10, but she audibly gasps whenever she hears a fallout boy song playing while out in public. And I sent it to my boyfriend, Torbs, and he said, oh, that would make you a 12.

Isn't that sweet? That is sweet. But what would it normally make people? Oh, I think it makes you a 12. Okay, great. As personally as a 10, who would audibly gasp if I heard Fall Out Boy out in public. I think that makes me even hotter. And don't you just love when that trend hits your sweet spot? Yeah, and that was the first one that I've seen where I was like,

you're getting a retweet. Obviously, we were just speaking about unfortunate spills. Karina sent through a story. She goes, it's not a spill, but I just felt like it was the right time to share. And I was like, hey, Karina, lay it on me, mate. Are we sure this is your love to see it? Do you not like Karina? No, no, no.

I was on stage for the big dance at Stedford. You know those big things? Yeah, big concert. And at the start of my routine, my halter neck top snapped and my tartars spilled out for the entire audience to see. You love to see those. Well, the audience love to see that, don't get me wrong.

Now, Tony, you did a bit of dance back in the day. Yes. Involved in theatre. What's the number one rule of the stage and of showbiz? The show must go on. The show must go on. Did I run off stage, asked Katrina. Absolutely not.

I soldiered on, shirt flapping, tits waving, doing their own thing. Luckily, there was a girl outside of the stage ready for me with a bobby pin so I could quickly, like, you know, between moves, go out and do it back up. I was feeling a bit embarrassed. Yep. And I was nervous because they were holding on literally by a small pin. But we made the national finals and it was all worth it.

Don't you love to see that? I do love to see that. Karina Van Dosselaar. Oh. Well played, man. Holy moly. Oh, I do love to see that. Karina Van Dosselaar. Oh. Well played, man. Holy moly. Oh, my God. There's not a lot of people that would have soldiered through that moment,

so I'm very, very proud of you. Is the dance of Stedford's, they're like... Yeah. It's a serious business, isn't it? It's like a big competition, yeah. And you wouldn't want to, like, not miss out, like, not get into nationals because of something like that? No, no, no, no, no.

You wouldn't miss it. And any true professional would keep going, I feel. Is that the thing? You break a heel, you not get into nationals because of something like that. No, no, no, no. You wouldn't miss it. And any true professional would keep going, I feel. You break a heel, you just get back up. You've got to keep going. Yeah. I actually not like because it's unfortunate, but when you see those models doing the runway and they fall and they get back up and just own it.

Yeah. Yeah. Love that. It's like being able to just like own it if you're with a friend and you can have a bit of a laugh rather than be like. I thought we spoke about it the other day. All right. We will chat to you on Monday. Meow-nday.

I stand corrected. Meow. Have a great weekend. Chat to you soon. Love you, bye.