Toni and Ryan - British Lass

Episode Date: June 19, 2023

Juicy Confessions and a sad sexy dinner. Love ya! Toni xoxoxoxoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. My name is Ryan John. I'm here with Dr. Author, Dr. Tony Lodge. And we are calling Randy. She is in New Jersey, or how they would say it. Joy-zy. New Joy-zy. You sound good when you do that. Thank you. It's the only accent that I'm even closer to people from New Jersey. Oh, they're going to hate that. I'll listen and they're going, ah!

Don't say that. Sorry. When we're over there, you walk into like a cafe and order a coffee in New Jersey accent. We'll see if they notice. If they spot a rat in the rain. Should like a test the whole time we're in America. I do an accent the whole time. Maybe not the whole time.

And see if anyone picks up on it. No, I'm supportive today. Yep. Good call. Oh, fuck. Where were you three hours ago? All right. Call Randy.

Let's do it. Hello? Hello? Is that Randy? It is. Hi. Hi, Randy. How are you? Good.

I'm so excited to talk to the both of you. Oh, we're excited too. What have we caught you doing? What are you up to, Randy? I'm just relaxing. It's the end of the day. Randy, will you approve this podcast episode? I would love to approve the podcast.

Legend. Hey, this is Randy from New Jersey, and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today, people submit their confessions at tonyandryan.com.au. They are completely anonymous. Couldn't be more anonymous. Yeah, which was annoyingly anonymous last week because someone said, oh, if you want any more info, let me know. I'm like, I can't.

How? We actually can't contact you. Now, in the second confession today um tweet like a young british lady is the term a british lass like offensive um i think you'd normally only say lass for like a scottish or irish person so what do we call like a young because there's like a person but it's back in time So it's like back when she was a young lass. You know what I mean? A young girl? Okay.

What? So lass is a Scottish thing. Lass is like a Scottish thing to say. Ignore me. Ignore me. I just don't know why. Why can't you just say like. I think you could still say young lass, but I think traditionally it is like a Scottish thing.

Like you wee lassie. You know how that's. Yeah, that's why. Yeah. Yeah, but I think traditionally it is like a Scottish thing. Like, you wee lassie. You know how that's. Yeah, that's why. Yeah. Yeah, but that's Scottish. Okay. Yeah. We'll see how I go when we get to it.

But first up, a confession from a rainforest hotel. A rainforest hotel? What does that mean? So this is in like the Caribbean or Costa Rica, like somewhere sort of South America at the top there. That sounds nice. Have you ever been? No. What's that around the equator?

So quite humid, et cetera. Yeah, it'd be pretty warm there. I've been like to the Bahamas, like out that way. Really? That's cool. I've never been anywhere fun. That's actually not true. I've been to heaps of cool places.

I actually went to Brisbane, went to Adelaide. I can't believe I'm going to say this because I'll never hear the fucking end of it. Hollywood. I've never been to Hollywood. I went to the Bahamas with Lauren. The girl you fingered on the plane? No, I didn't do that, but that girl, yeah. You fingered her in the plane and then you fingered her right into the Bahamas.

She was supposed to go to Adelaide and you fingered her so far that she went to the Bahamas. I think it would be a triangle. It was actually on a private jet as well because her brother-in-law was fucking rich. Anyway. Hang on. You went on a private jet?

Well, like his plane, yeah. With some girl that you were just casually sleeping with? What the fuck? When was that? When I lived in the US on a weekend off. So she's like, oh, you want to go to the Bahamas? Brother-in-law's got a place. What?

How have you never told me that? Well, anytime I want to tell a story about Lauren, for some reason we get fucking sidetracked. Well, I bet she was like, oh, why don't we just go down the road, stay at this B&B? You're like, no, we've got to fly somewhere. I do my best work in the air, mate. I'm no good on sea level.

Yeah. So the rooms are scattered around this rainforest. So it's not like the one building, but it's like, you know, these little huts and villas like spread out around it. I love that. Yeah. I've actually stayed in a place similar to that in Malaysia. Okay, I can't fucking, it's not fucking blinds fucking travel show.

But this one, the rooms have like partial walls, which I get it because there's no one else around you. You want to be in nature. Because you know how like those Bali villas, it's like, you know, it's like half open, half not and whatever. I know what you mean. So for an entire week, my strategy was using a big leaf from the garden and pooing into the big

leaf when I was in the shower. My theory was that the shower noise would cancel out any small farts and stuff that slipped out and there wouldn't be any plopping noises because I wasn't using the toilet. The poo was just like softly dropping into like a big tropical leaf. And then she threw the poo leaf over the bathroom wall because they're like these little half partial walls. She kind of just like lob it out the back

where no one would see it. Yep. Are you okay, Tony? No, I don't think I am. I know, what's the matter, dear? What a terrible plan. Like, so you just lobbing that who she was probably sunbaking out the side but she's like i'm in the middle of the rainforest like you know out in the middle of nowhere oh my god yeah okay ryan would love this

because i felt like i was doing an ocean's 11 heist and i was totally getting away with this scam like no one will ever catch me. It's totally working. I can't believe yesterday when we did the icebreaker about the towel we didn't talk about. Needs to be the perfect texture for pooing on too. Yeah, how did that not come up? It was the perfect plan until one day my friend walked around the back of the room.

Fuck knows why she did it, but she found my poop leaf collection and was disgusted, shocked, and horrified. You would be. And even our confessor says, which, to be fair, once you've discovered a poop salad, they're all very justified emotions. And because I think that, like, the horror of seeing multiple leaves covered in human shit, you kind of go, what the fuck? Is someone like... What's going on?

Well, because I don't think that your immediate thought would be, is the girl I'm sharing a room with shitting on a leaf and throwing it over the thing while she's in the shower? No, you'd be like, fuck, is someone like spying on us and like squatting next to the house and fucking shitting on the floor? She was so grossed out that she complained to management. Oh, no, you've got to come clean straight away. And hotel management came down to our room and inspected my shame.

Oh, please tell me that you came clean. I had to act as horrified as she was. Oh, no. I kept calm. Someone probably got fired for that. So it should be. It's disgusting. I kept calm and I kept pretending to be horrified.

And not only did I get away with it, we got a partial refund and a written apology from the manager. She's making money, baby. So instead of being points guys, that's what we should do. Yep. Con artists. Poop con artists. I'll do the pooping, you do the conning.

Oh my God. I mean, at that point, it's gone on for too long. You can't tell your friend that it was you. Yeah. Like you have to, oh my God. Like, fuck, that's insane. All right, we've got a confession from a British lass. Yes.

When this British girl was 21, she was living with another girl, but eventually it turned sour and they went their separate ways. Okay. You know, when you're young, you have partners, it doesn't always work out. Also, you know, when you're in on each other's shit all the time, you just get fucking fed up with all the little things that happen really add up and really get on your nerves.

Yeah. So that was when the British girl was 21. She changed the other girl's name in her phone to Two-Faced Ugly Cow. Blocked the number and just moved on with her life. Shit. And totally forgot about her for like 10 years until they ran into each other in a bar just recently. And I think they kind of had that sort of mutual like,

We were young. We were young. We're mature now. Water under the bridge. Whatever. Glad to see you're doing well. You know, very polite and mature and it was great. And one of them actually said, oh, should we grab a coffee?

You know? That's nice. Because I feel like all that time kind of passes and you go, fuck, did it really matter that you're like. Yeah. Semantics. Yeah. Like, you know.

So the other lady goes, oh, you've probably deleted my number. I'll just give you a call. So then you've got my number and we'll organise this coffee catch-up. And what pops up on the phone? Two-faced ugly cat. I will never get over the embarrassment and guilt and we never got that coffee. Oh, yeah.

I mean, that really sticks the dagger in, doesn't it? And then in another 10 years, oh, I remember that time I said that. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, my God. And then she calls her again and it still says the same thing. I know. She's changed it to still a fucking dick.

Fuck. You would feel so bad. And because you do that stuff in the heat of the moment when you go, oh, I hate you. I've never hated anyone more. You're such a mole. And then, oh, I hate you. I've never hated anyone more. You're such a mole. And then, oh, fuck, you would just feel so bad.

And you'd be like, fuck, we've just run into each other. We're, you know, we're doing the work. We're going to be fine. Fuck. Oh. And she was like,

that was just it. She's like, cool, I'll send you a text. And didn't. Yeah, don't call me in front of you. Hey, it's Randy from New Jersey and you're listening to Tony and R't. Yeah, don't call me in front of you. Hey, it's Randi from New Jersey and you're listening to Tony and Rye. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas

over at our Patreon. Jennifer Kaufman, thank you so much. Nikita. I'm better than that. I am better than that. And I'm sorry. Nikita. See, even that was way better.

Nikita Jockham, Antoinette, Ashley, Alyssa and Tristan Snyder. Thank you so much for being part of the Patreon. All of those people are champion tarpers, so they'll be watching the Patreon marathon live stream, 50-hour live stream. 50 hours, baby. If we hit our target of 3,000 tarpers over at our Patreon. We started at low 2,000s.

We're getting to high 2,000s, but we still haven't quite tipped over. We haven't tipped over. And I'm kind of, I think I've said this the last couple of days, but I'm like half in, I'm like, please don't sign up. But I'm also like, I really want to do it. You're Natalie Imbruglia, right? I am Natalie Imbruglia about it. But I think it'll be really fun.

Anyway, speaking of 50 hours, actually, as you know, like what is my, if I had to say to you, what is something that stresses me out a lot or like is a constant stress for me what would you what would come to mind parking that is a good one that is not what I'm talking about um being on time not letting people down time time time is like such a big one I hate being late I hate being a burden yeah or like making someone else late that's what i mean letting people down because you were three minutes late yeah oh my god they'll be so mad i've wasted three minutes of their life yeah or like i'm like oh my god am i being really disrespectful

that i was like late for a meeting or whatever it doesn't actually happen very often so don't have to worry about it but i spend so much time worrying about time and the consequences of time yeah that then it just like ruins a lot of experiences. But at the moment, Torbs and I, our friends Josh and Bree, we've got a bit of like a restaurant hit list going. Like there's a few restaurants around Melbourne that we've wanted to try and kind of go, oh, we probably can't really just go the two of us because, you know, when you go with a big group

and you get to order heaps of shit and try lots of stuff. Whereas like when it's just Torbs and I, I'm like, we have really similar taste in food so often we go, well, I really like the look of that. And he goes, me too. We order the same thing and then I'm like, oh, I don't even get to try another thing. Something else, yeah.

So we've kind of been thinking about that. We're kind of like, all right, where should we go next? We went to this place over the weekend that I have been really, really excited to go to. On your hit list for a while. Been on my hit list for a while. During COVID, they kind of introduced like a, you know how heaps of restaurants in Melbourne did like a dine at home thing?

And, you know, they send you the fucking, I don't know, the tart, and all you've got to do is put it in the oven and brown it up and then you eat it. And it's just like being in the restaurant. They did one of those and we really liked it and thought like, how fun. It's like a really sexy restaurant. And we thought, oh, we'd love to go there. And we got a booking.

It's like always books out. We finally got a booking and we were supposed to be going at 6.30 over the weekend. We get there. It is stunning on the inside, like beautiful vibe, like really chill, kind of low lighting, real sexy. So it is sexy, yeah. And everybody that's there is kind of like, it's an intimate dinner. Are they on a date? I don't think that you would go you go with your

partner though go with your partner there's no kids no there's no kids there it's like um there's a couple of big tables of people that are like celebrating a birthday and they must have been fucking billionaires to be able to celebrate there with like 20 people um but you know that like people are ordering like actual champagne from the actual champagne region of France. And like, you know, it's like it's pretty next level. And, you know, when you go to those places and like, so Torbs and I don't really go a lot of fancy places.

We don't really go a lot of places at all. Like we have a lot of joy in hanging out together at home, on the couch, watching TV or cooking together or whatever. We actually don't go out a lot. But, you know, when you go to those places and, like, the waiters are, like, really attentive and often – Do you like that? Not that you'd hate it, but sometimes you're like,

like, I feel like I'm a burden on you. Yeah, because you're, like, running over and – There's a bottle of water and a glass there. I can pour it. I can top myself up. Yeah, because you're like running over. There's a bottle of water and a glass there. I can pour it. I can top myself up. Yeah, but like leave the carafe. Let me water myself. Don't feel like you've got to run over.

Just leave the bottle. Like it's actually all right. You know what's dangerous? What? When you've got like a nice beer going and they'll like top you up and you kind of go, I don't have no idea how many beers I've had. Oh, because if it's like a- Well, it's half empty, they'll just top it up.

Yeah. And you go, fuck, I can't count because if they top it up from a third to a two and then I drank a bit more and they top it up. Yeah, and you go, it's still technically the same beer. I've had one. Officer, I've had one. Yeah, like I don't think I've been drinking. They go, yeah, you're on the train.

You're allowed to be drunk. That's fine. We're not asking. We're not going to breathalyze you. So you're asleep in the middle of the road. Yeah, you know, like I don't think I've been drinking. They go, yeah, you're on the train. You're allowed to be drunk. That's fine. We're not asking. We're not going to breathalyze you. So you're asleep in the middle of the road. Yeah, you're fine though. But so sometimes when they're really attentive, it is good because you go, cool, like got to get through it. Anyway, so we're sitting down and Josh and Bree are like on their way.

So we're at a table for four. There's only two of us. So obviously it's very clear that some of our party haven't arrived yet. And a waiter comes over, pours us some water, is very chill, very like. Still sparkling. Still every time. Yep. And is kind of like, oh, bonsoir.

Je m'appelle. And they're fucking talking to you in like, and they've just got these beautiful accents. And it's just so romantic and like everything, like you just think that every single person on a table around you is going to get engaged. Like it is like a romantic, beautiful, chill, just delicious atmosphere. Like, honestly, like you felt like you were not in Melbourne. It was honestly like, I couldn't, I cannot rave about this place more.

You know how we said how exciting it is when you see a bride in the wild? Yes. Like just out on the weekend? Yeah. I've never experienced this. Me either, but I'd fucking die. I reckon someone proposing in the restaurant, if you're just a bystander, you're just eating your meal,

you'd be like, drink some more champagne. I would squeal. I would be beside myself. Do you know the backstory? Tell me everything. I filmed it. The hand dropper to you. Oh, that would squeal. I would be beside myself. Do you need a backstory? Tell me everything. I filmed it. That's the end drop for you. Oh, that would be unreal.

Do you know what? Actually, if you've ever seen someone get proposed to, send us the story. Please. Either through our confessions tab or email us. Did it pump you up? I'd be like, let's have another round of drinks. I would love to know because I feel like you would feel the pleasure

of that moment internally. I think you would just be so pumped. Anyway, so that's kind of the vibe. It's like so chill, so easygoing. They come over, they're pouring the water, and they go, are you just waiting for the others? We go, yeah, yeah, all good. Torbs and I start chatting because we're like, oh, my God,

how beautiful is this place? And then I checked my phone and Bree's like, oh, another three minutes, but we'll be there soon. The guy comes over and says, again, probably five minutes later, oh, did you want me to grab you a cocktail while you're waiting for your friends? And we're like, oh, yeah. And he goes, yeah, yeah. Like, you know, might as well.

That'd be rude not to. And he goes, what can I get you? And I was like, oh, I'll have a dirty martini gin with an olive. Right, someone is wearing her best clothes, look at that. And Torbs ordered a French 75. Whoa. And so yeah, it was hot.

Yeah, I might be pregnant. Anyway, and so we order these cocktails and I'm like, oh, a cocktail in like a fancy restaurant, that's going to take a while to come. But it's so, like you. But it's so chill. Like you just, it's so fun. Anyway, Josh and Bree get there. Someone else walks over, pours them some water.

Can I take your coats? Can I get you a cocktail? Like it's just so sexy, so chill. Anyway, this waitress comes over and her energy is fucked. What do you mean? She comes over and she goes, yep, what can I get you? And she's got the little piece of paper and she's fucking scribbling on a little piece of paper.

Instantly, you're in Melbourne. No one's getting proposed to. Like, your fucking martini's got dick in it. And it fucking, like, just the whole, like, the illusion of this. See, martini's the pregnant one, not you. Yeah, like, just the whole. She took you out of it. Yeah, took me completely out of it.

And she was really that like. So she comes over and she's like, and I was like, hi, how are you? And she goes, yeah, busy. But like because it's such a nice like vibe, I don't even notice it's like there's people there. But like. For her is busy. For you is like there's a vibe.

There's some excitement in the room. You don't tell people it's busy. You know? Anyway. Yeah, yeah. You're in hospitality. Just smile. And like, I get it.

When it's busy, it's fine. And I went, oh, well, at least it's going quicker. Ha, ha, ha. You know that classic? Yeah, yeah. And then she goes, ha, ha. Yeah, I guess so. What the fuck?

And I was just like, holy shit. I'm like in a daze a little bit because I'm like, hang on, like being snapped out of this beautiful vibe. And she goes, which is really intense anyway, and she goes, cool, so what can I get you? And I was like, oh, we've actually just ordered drinks. Like they hadn't even come yet. And she goes, oh, well, I'll let you know that it's limited amount

of time that you can be seated for. And we were like, oh, shit, we actually didn't. Sorry. How long? And she goes, two and a half hours you've got. And I was like, so ages. We've been here for 10, 15 minutes. That feels like fun.

It didn't feel like she was trying to wrap you up. Yeah. So she goes, well, you have to, like, we've got a limited seating amount. Like, you can't just be sitting here all night. We've got another seating after you. And I was like, oh, that's okay. Well, maybe if you spent less time, stop wasting my time complaining and more time fucking getting my food ready,

it wouldn't be a fucking issue. And so I go, oh, well, we actually just sat down. I haven't even, I'm so sorry. Instantly, I'm like panicking. I was like, oh, okay, sorry. We haven't even, I'm so sorry. Instantly, I'm like panicking. I was like, oh, okay, sorry.

We haven't even looked at the menu yet. And she goes, oh, and then Brie goes, oh, like, can you just give us

two minutes? You know, like, yeah, very totally fine. Like, do you mind just giving us two minutes?

And she goes, oh, two minutes. And she walks up, storms up, what the fuck? And comes back, not even kidding, two minutes later to the fucking gate.

Like she was standing there watching her watch. Like she was standing there with a fucking stopwatch like we were doing the fucking beep test. Yeah. And she's fucking standing there and then all of a sudden she's back. She goes, cool, what do you want? It's been two minutes. What is it? Literally.

Literally. Anyway, and so I was kind of like, oh, it's one of those places where you just pay like for two courses or you pay for three courses and there's like five entrees, five mains and five desserts and you just pick one of each. Big plate, small plate. Yeah. And then they also had all of these like nibbles, like hors d'oeuvres, I guess, whatever.

And they had like all this shit on there. And then they had a couple of other random like fancy things. And I really wanted to do some random fancy things. Because like you said, there's four of you. Yeah, let's get some random shit. We can all try everything. And so she comes back and we'd all discussed as a table that we were going to do like two fancy things, one hors d'oeuvre, and then we were all going to do three meals.

Great. So we're all going to do an entree and a main and a dessert. And I go, okay, cool. So for one of the hors d'oeuvres, can we do blah? And she goes, yep. And she like right sat down. And then I go, great. And then I think we're all going to do the three meal option.

And she goes, one of the hors d'oeuvres can be part of the three meal. And I was like, oh, no, no, no. Like, we want to share that. Is this the opposite of upselling? It was like, and so there's all this beautiful music. I'm like, you know, we're sipping our cocktails. It's like beautiful. It's like so horrifying.

Anyway, and then she's like, you can do that as one of the meals. And I was like, oh, are we actually able to do it separately? Because we all want to try it. Like, oh, there's so much lovely stuff on the menu. Like, we all want to try it. And she goes, oh, I don't think we'll have enough time. And I was like, we've actually only been here for like 15 minutes. Like, we've still got two hours and 15 minutes left. Like, really not enough time like i i'm starting to panic she's freaking out

oh my god anyway and she's like oh fine we can do it i'm like okay and then i like tell her the rest of my stuff yeah and um and then it goes around the table and somebody else orders something similar to me she goes that serving's huge we'll just get you one of those and like crosses. And just it wasn't like, oh, you could actually share that. Do you want to pick something else? It was like, no, we're doing it anyway. Can you start even, I'm not saying you're wrong, but can you just pretend to be on my side?

It felt like we were getting wrapped up. And I was like, we've barely sat down. We just sat down. And there's all the, it's just like. And I'm paying you. It was like we've barely sat down and there's all that it's just like I'm paying you it was like this beautiful vibe and then that just really rushed the whole thing was she hustling other tables as well I didn't see if she was but I guess we were like seated in her like section so I'm guessing she did um anyway and then like so the food came out and then um like the first

thing came out and um then she comes over. She goes, well, are you finished with that? Do you want some? And we were just like, oh, my God. And she like brings over this bread and like knocks over a cocktail and like just like all this stuff just kept happening and I was just so panicked. And then we were like sitting there.

We had finished eating and everything was stuck. Like the whole experience was amazing. Except for? Except for the person that was fucking, – like, the whole experience was amazing. Except for – Except for the person that was fucking, you know, conveying all the information. Did you consider, like, politely, like, asking the manager, like, hey, can you mind just, like, swapping her out? But I wouldn't do that. She's actually ruining my night. Well, it was just, like, I just felt so rushed.

Like, it was – and then, anyway, so it kind of was getting toward like we'd finished eating and we kind of had all finished our drinks and i was like oh guys like we should go because they're obviously like really pushing us out and then like so i got up and just went to the front and was like oh can i pay they're like oh why didn't you just ask and i was like oh because we were told we had to go she's like oh no there's like no one seated after you. What time was it? Did you have time to spare? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I think we were supposed to.

It's not like you're at two hours and 28 minutes and she's like. No. And there's three other people waiting at the door ready to hustle your table. So we sat down at 6.30. Yeah. She said that we had a two and a half hour seating, which is heaps of time. And then, so what's that? Nine o'clock.

I think that when I went up to the front, it was 5 to 9. And by the time, like, we actually, like, had paid and they got our coats and everything, it was, like, quarter past 9 and no one had come. There wasn't, like, more people lining up, like, waiting for a spot or whatever. But I was just, like, it was so stressful. And I was just, like, really disappointed because I was, like, oh, I was, like, to do things like that, like it's not cheap.

No, you want to enjoy the night. Yeah, it's like the experience of the hot, like the food honestly was amazing. Everything was great. It was just like such a, but I just like immediately I was like on the defensive because I'm like, oh my God, we fucked up here. And then I'm like, well, hang on, like I'm coming into your restaurant. Did you buy it back?

No, I didn't. I was maybe sassy once. Ooh. Yeah, go on. So one of the things, like, so when we said we ordered two of the same dessert, she goes, that's actually huge. You can share that. I'm not doing that for you twice.

And then she's like, you know, it's part of the experience that you try other things. Maybe you should, you know, live outside the box. What the fuck? About like ordering to, I know, right? And then someone else, Josh was like, oh, yeah, okay. Well, instead of that, then I'll get this thing. And he goes, oh, but is that weird?

And I was like, no, it's part of the experience. You're supposed to live outside the box. Like there was a couple, like – so I did do that. Thank you, Cam. I am good at that. Did she hear that? She was standing right next to me. But did she give you a little fucking side eye?

I think so. But I was like, no, it's actually part of the experience. That was the only – And did you say it with a bit of attitude? Yeah, I did. That was the only dicky thing that I said. Oh, I love when you give attitude. Just because I was like, yo, like we're sitting here for a beautiful experience.

Like maybe we're not as fucking rich as all the other people in here, but I fucking deserve, like I've made the booking. I'm going to pay you when I fucking leave. Like I deserve to not be made feel shit. I wanted to like pretty woman her and be like, big mistake, huge. You know, like fucking like. Well, it is because now you're lighting her up on a podcast. Yeah, I mean.

What was her name? I had no idea. What was the name of the restaurant? I'll send a message to the manager. Have you considered like messaging Drew? I don't know because it actually, I would be like, I'm really disappointed because it's actually not something that I'll probably ever go and do again.

Oh, you would never go back there? Well, it was, the food was amazing though. Yeah, but there's amazing food everywhere in Melbourne. it's the services and stuff that you remember it was expensive what if you send a message like this tony you go like i loved coming into your restaurant uh however i would hate someone else to have the experience i had and make it like i'm paying it forward rather than like yeah Yeah. To save future. That is actually true though. Because like.

And to the business owner. Imagine the cook had shattered he would be if he found out that he'd poured his heart and soul into this meal only to learn that the person carrying out was an asshole and really took the edge off your night. Because instead of getting home and talking about the great dish that the guys and girls in the kitchen did, that you're actually here going, oh, how how fucked was that i felt so nervous and anxious and couldn't just the fact that like it was this incredible vibe and it was like that glass shutter moment as soon as she came over and was like busy is it it's like an illusion especially at a place like that i mean it's not a fucking subway you know if you go up to a fucking subway and the guy goes, I'm

16, it's busy, can you fucking tell me what chicken you want, bitch? It's completely different. It's still pretty strong. It's completely different going somewhere where you're paying. And it's not something I get to do a lot. And so I was like, fuck, this is such

a bougie experience. It's such a shame. Yeah. That sucks. I'm sorry. No, it's okay. But thanks for agreeing that it would take you out. Because I was like, oh, am I being precious? No, fuck that. Hey, I've got all your love to see.

Pick me back up. Oh, yeah, please. Although there's a bit to unpack at the end. Oh, okay. Tapa, let's just call her G. Hi, G. She sent me a DM on Instagram. I hope she wasn't messaging you on Facebook Messenger

and texting you at the same time. She actually was the waitress at that restaurant. She's busy. Yeah, she's fucking busy. So fucking just read this and fuck off. No, she said she was having a bit of a rough time earlier this year. Had a breakup. You know, you just feel a bit flat and stuff.

Oh, yeah. But happy to report she's back. She's feeling good. And she's feeling herself again. And she just said, thanks to you and Tony for making the podcast. Really helped me through some crappy days. It's lovely. And I think I've said before, but just again, like when I was like having a shit time a

few years back, I had a few podcasts that like helped put me in a good mood. Totally. And the fact that we can, you know, sort of pay it forward makes me feel really good. So thanks for sharing. And be the reason that someone has a laugh on a shitty day. Yeah, exactly. So I sent that back to her. Sorry, I just spent all that time complaining.

Yeah. Sorry. So she's going through a really rough time. Oh, but Tony seems like she's going through a rough time. Yeah, but Tony went to an expensive fucking restaurant. And the girl didn't suck up to her. So that's really tough for her. I'm so triggered right now.

So I sent that message just saying, hey, you know, thanks for sharing. Hope you're doing well. And then she goes, I can't triggered right now. So I sent that message just saying, hey, you know, thanks for sharing. Hope you're doing well. And then she goes, I can't believe you replied. This must be how Tony felt when she was chatting to Robert Pattinson. That's very funny from G. I like that. And I was like, no, but is she implying that I'm a bot? That you're a catfish?

Yeah. I mean, you kind of will be catfishing if you take up my offer of me replying to all your messages. Yeah, true. Yes, hello, I am Ryan John. I am Ryan John. Maybe she means, because I had such a big crash on Robert Pattinson, maybe she's got a crash on you and she goes, all these handsome boys replying to my message.

Well, she's recently single. There you go. Slide into those DMs. Oh, you're already off. You're already sure? She's doing some God's work. Woo! Okay.

Gee, if you're listening, holy moly. But thanks for sending that through, Jay. And thanks for bringing the God's. I actually was sitting on the couch and went. Yeah. I like a message that gives you a heart. Yeah. It's good.

Yeah. I've got a love to see here from Jennifer Elise Lutz on our Facebook group. Lutzy! I watch Facebook Reels a lot. I do got a love to see here from Jennifer Elise Lutz on our Facebook group. Lutzy! I watch Facebook reels a lot. I do too, so no judgment. But I know that it's like the worst place because you see a TikTok like seven weeks after it's been posted. I watch Facebook reels a lot and I run across these videos. Tim the lawnmower man in Australia who goes around mowing overgrown yards for free.

I think I've seen this guy. I love this. Like he just pulls up with his truck and he's got his fucking landmower. The best part of the video is when he's trying to explain that he'll do it for free and the person, because you're just not expecting that kind of kindness. And they're kind of like, is this a crypto scam? Yeah. But what do I do?

Am I being had here? Yeah. And he just goes, oh, as long as I can like film it and put it on my TikTok, all good, bro. So Tim the lawnmower man in Australia, he goes around mowing overgrown yards for free. Yeah. Because it's how the people that are time poor or, you know. All the people. You know when you're feeling really shitty and, like, the last thing you want to do is, like, clean your house.

Yep. Or clean your clothes or, like, wash your hair and stuff. Like, just the bottom of your list is landscaping. Absolutely. Keep up the good work and random acts of kindness, says Jennifer. I thought that was really sweet. You'd love to see that. I'd love to see that guy.

Tomorrow on the show, I'm going to call this comedy or crook. Oh. Oh, Ryan, have you come with us with another fucking normal or nah? It's not normal or nah. I've done something and I want to know if you think it's funny or if you might, this is how you may react. Oh, okay. Actually, just like that.

Just like that. I've been practicing. And so I'm actually being a little bit vulnerable because if it is crook, I don't like, I'm going to regret ever saying it. Okay. And it's almost like, hey, can you just promise if you didn't like it, you can forget about it.

Yep. Promise. Okay. Well, that's tomorrow. Love you. Bye.