Toni and Ryan - Buffets Are A Scam

Episode Date: August 25, 2026

TARPer lotto ticket - AUSSIE SHOWS!! - Op shopping - love ya!!!!!AUS LIVE SHOWS - https://toniandryan.com/pages/liveTell us what you reckon in the episode thread in our FACEBOOK GROUPWatch and subscribe on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan and get in the group chat with us!!!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

You always think it's going to be awesome and then it's like not that good. What? I think that a breakfast buffet is a little different. I'm stunned. But if you go to a dinner buffet. That's the craziest thing you've ever said in five years of this show. Hi, I'm Orna from Oslo, Norway. Hi, I'm Connor from Woking, UK.

Hi, I'm Richard from Christchurch, New Zealand. And I have closed his podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, the best-selling Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. Hello. And I love that when new people find us on socials and they find the pod, they've also found your best-selling book.

We're getting DMs being like, just found you guys, just got the book. And it's popping up in libraries in Minnesota. Oh, my gosh. And other places. Other places as well. We also had it on the website, and now it's sold out, and we were trying to decide whether we should buy more. So let us know if you think we should buy.

The sign copies. Well, We did sell signed copies, yeah. But like, if you've tried to find a copy and you can't find one, let us know. Oh, because the weird like Australia, not Australia. Yeah. Books and licences and weird shit is just too hard. If only at the beginning of the whole process, someone said the book needs to be available in many places.

Like, think about where the tapas are everywhere. Where's the book available? Australia. Well. And Minnesota libraries. And Minnesota libraries. Thank you, Charles. If only someone had brought that up, do you know what I mean?

And that is obviously not a read on you. No. And you know that. I do know. Very well. Yeah. So, but that would have been good foresight to have. But that's okay.

These things happen. Let's call Tarpa Eden, who is in Cairns. Okay. Gold Coast correspondent. Cairns. Go. Is that not the Gold Coast? No.

It's about a 15-hour drive. Oh. Hello, this Eden. Eden. It's Tony and Ryan. How you doing? Hi, Edna. We are very good.

Now, Tony just said Cairns. Is that near the Gold Coast? Sorry. Where closer to the Gold Coast than Cairns is? I feel like it, yeah. Yeah. Now, I don't know if you know this, Eden, and Tony doesn't know this either, but I found out some fascinating news last night.

What? Statistically and scientifically, you're more likely to win the lotto in Cairns than anywhere else in Australia. That's amazing. It's the most popular thing. So, Eden. I need to buy more lotto tickets. Well, I was wondering if you could do us a favour.

If we send you 12 bucks, can you, on behalf of, and it's not your ticket, it's all of our ticket. But I mean, like, it's one of those ones where if I buy it, we go halves, right? No, you actually, how many tarpers are there? No, because Eden, it's not a syndicate. If we wanted a syndicate, that's what we'd say it was. But, yeah. All right, all right, fair enough. Yeah, yeah.

So can you buy the ticket. And this is for the whole type community. And so if we win, who the, well, it is a lot of pressure, but like imagine, imagine if we as a community won the big one. And that's why we go on to Cairns because, you know how they come out once a year with like all this?

Here's the most popular numbers. It turns out Cairns is a fucking hot spot. That's amazing. Yeah. So let me message you later because I don't want you to accidentally buy it with your own money and then take us to court and claim all their winnings. Yeah.

Oh, no, I wouldn't do that. We could pay, like, a finder's fee. Yeah. Like, so if it, if a ticket. That's not type of behavior. I wouldn't do that. So true. Taip of behavior.

No, you're so right. Yeah, okay. Everyone, think about what we want to do with our collective couple of mill? Tape a car wash. Tape a car wash. Tape car wash. And everyone listening right now gets one free car wash. Okay.

You heard it here first. Amazing. All right, we'll send you the details, Eden, and thank you very much for being our car wash correspondent. Cairns carwash correspondent. Oh, she's just a quadruple C. I love that. Yeah, I can't wait. A quadruple C.

All right, chat to you soon. Love you. Love you. Thanks. Bye. Oh, fuck, that was brutal. I said, love you. And she said, thanks. She's out.

She puts the C in the quadruple C. I said, love you. She's the one holding our tickets. I reckon keep the not pleasantries. I'm going to find a different taper from Cairns. And I'm going to get my own ticket and we're going to go head to head. Molly Brennan. I'll call Molly right now and I'll say, hey, Mo.

Lee. Hey, Maul. Molly. Is that really? Cairns is a hot spot. Why do you think? Or just like it turns out that more people have won in Cairns than anywhere. Like it's got a hot street going and we're going to get a slice of it.

Is Cairns inland or is it on the coast? It's on the coast. I was going to say in the coast. It doesn't feel right. On the coast. It's on the coast. Yeah. Okay.

Is it, do you reckon that... Can I ask a quick question. Yeah. Do you know anything about geography? Oh, do I know anything? No. Yeah. Well, hang on.

Bip-Bibbib. I'm very good at Gio Gessar. We slayed Gio Gessar. If you're in the Patreon, you'll know exactly. I'm talking about it. I would like to make a retraction. Tony sucks at knowing where places are in the world unless it's Perth. I think, though, my first instinct for,

For a lot of them, both of us were like pretty bang on. We looked at the clues good. Yeah. Yeah. But the Perth one was especially fierce. I, to go back to what you said, do I know anything about geography? No. Because, as you know, I was blatantly disregarded to, you know, try and mould my interest in the world as a child by my parents refusing to buy me a globe.

And I maintain that that's their fault. I actually have... Can you imagine? Imagine your kids saying, can I learn something? And you're just going, nah. I'd like a globe. Please, I want to learn about the earth. Nah.

Bitch. That's not what happened. Did they Google Maps? Back then, I grew up in the dark ages. We didn't have that. I've been wanting to get a globe recently because I'm still freaked out that the Melbourne to London flight goes over Canada. I need to feel the globe and see it.

Because the map's always this way. Yeah. And I want to feel it. Understand it in situ kind of thing. Yeah, like I want to put one finger on one place and one on the other and see the line. Because when they go... I totally know what you mean. Because, oh, yeah, we're flying to London over Alaska and I'm like, well, you fuck that up.

Yeah. Oh, someone's turned left instead of right. Yeah, don't you hate that? Do you know what is so funny that you're saying? Like, I want to feel the journey instead of just see it. Well, I want to see it round in 3D. But you're like, I want to get my bearings a bit of what it means. I feel the same about an analogue clock.

I do not trust the time in digital format. I need to see it on an analog clock so I can like see the time. When I just get the numbers, I'm like, well, that could be anything. I don't think I really trust it. But an analog clock, I'm like, Slate, I can see that. Okay, so let's say it's 9.15 in the morning. And if you're listening at 915 right now, fucking bull's eye. Nice.

Now, when you like it could be anything, some would argue that it couldn't be all in fact it could be nothing except 915 when someone tells me the digital time yeah or if i check the time on my phone i picture a clock in my mind i'm like what would that look like great that's how much time we have so right yeah so if you've just said 915 in my mind i'm like oh quarter past nine i can see that yeah imagine if you had the right time on there Charles. It is. Slay.

Imagine. Imagine. We've just discovered. That was so fast, Charles. It's God agreeing with me. Sorry, there's just a loud bang in the studio. We've just discovered something, Tony Lodge. That I'm a fucking Nostradamus genius.

We already knew that. We knew. We've just discovered after years of evidence to the contrary. Yes, thinking that I didn't have an imagination. You have an imagination? No, I think we have to just pull that back because they can't, if you said like, picture an apple, I can't do that.

Yeah. But I can see the vibe of the clock in my mind. Not the clock, but the vibe of the clock. The vibe of the clock. No, 1,000 percent. So I can't, I don't physically see a clock, but I go like, that's what that would look like. Okay, everyone, if you don't know this thing, imagine an apple. Mm-hmm.

like close your eyes and picture an apple yeah imagine an apple unless you're driving some people like Tony what like you go I don't see it you just know what Apple is I see the vibe of an apple I understand the concept of an apple but I can't see it in my head so whereas Freakazzoid artistic John let me take you through the some people will just see like the black outline of an apple just there like a 2D cartoon kind of. Others will see it like maybe more 3D and a bit grainy and gray.

Some will see color. If you tell me to picture an apple, I can tell you the color of the fruit bowl it's in and the kitchen behind it and the tiles. And I just assumed that everyone imagined everything in full 3D color at all times. But I can't see anything. Yeah. I can I can feel the vibe, but I can't, like, when I think about an apple, I don't see anything. I just know what it is. So here's a random question, which is probably boring for everyone else except the two of us. But hey, we've got our show and we'll do the fuck we want. Yeah, but also enjoy.

So the other day, I was saying to Tony, because, you know. Ryan likes to say, because you know how you don't have an imagination? No. I can, I have an imagination. I just can't see it. Like I can't see it in my mind's aisle. So we were talking about like our beers and the setup and the crew and the studio and everything. And I said like imagine in five years like how you would like your day to be and your life to be and the show to be.

Yeah. And then it's crazy to because when someone asked me like that, I will picture. Oh, interesting. Like how would you like your life to be? And I would like visualize the roads driving to work and walking in and what the color of the seat. would be and I'm like fully like I'll imagine what the future could be and I go oh and like I yeah yeah whereas for me I like to fantasize yeah like when we're talking about plans and stuff like that I think this is where for me I like to talk things out yeah because I don't see it I'm like

let me try and describe it to you because I can't see it yeah and so my thing is that if I was like what's my dream day yeah and I was like oh I'd love to wake up every morning morning and go for a swim in the ocean. I can smell the ocean and understand what that feels like and think about the feeling of that, but I can't, I don't see the ocean. That's crazy. Yeah, but I can, I can smell it in my brain. That's just me. Sorry, but I can smell your softy ass from here. Beena, what do you see, Charles? Like if we asked you to picture an apple, what do you see? When I just like looked, I could see just like a Apple with like the little spork like off the top of the yeah yeah but I could see it 3D but I

couldn't see like the room it was in or interesting but that's still like four like stage four or five kind of thing yeah I'm fucking like saw it like spinning like it was like on a lazy susan they talk about this in creativity have you up to that part of the book I finished the book but I didn't hear that it's called arrasplasia or some fucking weird word but apparently some of like the really great animators seeing all these colors but there's also animators they're the same as you. That don't see it. And they're animators.

Yeah. So the people who are really good visually, they're almost kind of just copying what they're seeing. Oh. Like they're tracing it from. Yeah. See, for me, if I was drawing something.

Like some don't know what it look like until they finish the picture. Yeah. Yeah. Where others are just copying it from memory of that they've just created for themselves. I feel like if I was drawing something that I had visualized or said, I'd read a book and I wanted to like put what that looked like. It would be the movement I would follow. It truly is for me the vibes.

And I wish that I could explain that better, but I... No, that is the vibes. It's just the vibes. Everyone, I want you to imagine me naked. So the fact, if I've seen it before. But then so when even someone says that like, you just... No. What a shame, because every time I see you, I just imagine you naked.

And you're welcome. Yeah. But it... And it's good. And it is. Thank you so much for saying that. Vivid imagination, obviously. You can come up with anything.

But is it weird, and this is genuine question. Yeah, genuine question. Is it weird that I vividly dream? Because if I can't... Because if I can't imagine what an apple is, but then I have really vivid dreams that I can see, isn't that weird? That is weird.

What do you think that means? I think it means. means we need to smoke more wheat. We need to be on shrooms right now. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No. No. No. Not we're at work. No. Charles, don't be disgusting. No. No. But it's fun. So where did, where was that from the lot? Great. We're going to win. We're going to win. We're going.

Picture it if you can. Hi. I'm Mona from Oslo, Norway. Hi, I'm Richard from Christchurch, New Zealand. Hi. I'm Connor from Woking, UK. And you're to take your mind. Ryan. A massive shoutout to a few of our champion tarpas over at our Patreon.

We got some big news today. I'm going to do the shoutouts here, but then we got some big news. Oh, what? Of all just the, I'll just drop a really inappropriate comment and then we'll start recording. You've just really done me in there.

About the tricky dicky. No, before that. Oh, okay, slow. And I'm like, yeah. No, we've got to move on. We've got places to be. I know. Audrey, Brad.

Good on you, Audrey. Emily Mac, love you, Emily. Monnie Williams, love to see it, Monty. Caleb Koolinsky, thank you, Caleb, Morgan Z, Catherine, Brady Gerard and Joanna Chottowat. Thank you very much being part of our Patreon. We got massive news today, though. You might have noticed when you hit play on your podcast this morning that there's a new little icon there. Used to be yellow, me picking Ryan's nose.

It's blue now. Oh, who's going to pick my nose now? I can still do it in the background, but I feel like this little refresh is so exciting. These photos are so super. sick and it looks fucking awesome. It does. We've got a new website. You can go and check it out.

We've got fresh shit coming out the fucking rafters. But more importantly, but even more excitingly, we are going on tour. We're going on tour around a country that we've never toured before. Australia. Let's go back and forth with the dates real quick. Okay. You can go first. I'll go first.

Canberra at the street theater on November 1st. Melbourne at the Comedy Theatre, November 2. Hobart at the Theatre Royal, November 15. Perth, the Regal Theatre, November 18. My old Stombergown. Adelaide at the Arts Theatre on January 22, so this is 2027. Brisbane at the Tivoli, January 24. And Sydney at the Enmore Motherfucking Theatre on January 25.

Get around it, which means the following day in Sydney, we will be at Iceberg Swimming in the Pool. We absolutely will. So it's Tony and Ryan Live podcast recording. So exactly what you hear here is what we're going to be doing live, plus a few games at the beginning. And it is brought to you by Rollin Car Insurance. Very exciting stuff. Yep. They're insuring the whole trip.

And don't you love to say it? Yeah. Well, jokes on them because they don't know what Tony's capable doing on the road. Do they cover ankles? Do they cover ankles? Yeah. Do they cover a snapped arm? Do they cover, you know, broken glasses?

We're just going to have to ask all these questions. But thank you to Roland Car Insurance. We really appreciate it. It's really exciting. And just recently, obviously, like, like yesterday, you heard. you heard the live show about our birthday party. Yeah. Lots of people were like,

why are you doing one in Australia? You never come to Australia. This is us spreading the love in Oz because we haven't really done anything here. Well, because we didn't have any fancy for a long time. Yeah. That's why we haven't.

Yep. But so it's going to be really fucking fun. Like, do you know what's crazy is that there's only like one, maybe two cities on there that we haven't lived in? Like between the two of us, like we've lived like everywhere on that list. Yeah.

It's so crazy. Isn't that nice? Yeah. That is nice. So we're going home. Quite literally going on. I'm headed home. I've seen.

How great is that picture of us, by the way? For everybody you are listening right now to the audio, this picture that we're talking about is like the tile you would have seen this morning. It's on our Instagram. You'll be able to check it out everywhere, but it's so fun. I've seen Tony's feet in every one of those cities. I've seen your hoofs also probably. You've seen a Brisbane hoof?

Yeah, we swam in that pool. Yes. Yep. Hobart, we had that sexy house. Oh, that was a mate. Can we stay there again? Should we say? We can't.

Oh, it's not available. It's only three-bedroom. Oh. Tony and I'll bike up. Down in an old shit. Oh. Oh. No one said Charles.

Interesting. Well, last time we were in Hobart, Charles had a friend over, remember? No, I didn't. Oh, no, you fucked her at the McDonald's car part. Yeah, that's right. Yep. In her car.

Yeah. Not in our Toyota Kluger. Yeah, shout out to her Toyota Corolla. So that's why we're not sharing with Charles. Charles is sharing with someone else. Are you catching up with her again? Oh, you already texted. No, that's like ages away.

Well, if... I'm not making plans for two months of time yet. Yeah, you might be married by then. If you're... What was her name? No. If you were that... Her name wasn't...

No, Charles. Yeah. If you were that the other hooked up with Charles... They're on our way, baby. I reckon. We can sort you out a ticket, I reckon. Yeah. November 14, he's available

that night. Actually, I'm 15 because the show's in the afternoon, Sunday, Arvo. So we'll be around. Yeah. She wasn't at a time. Yeah, and I think Bridget has invited herself to Hobart for the weekend. No relationship to the girl that Charles was banging. Apparently.

Yeah. We got to be careful. I didn't see her. Maybe it was Bridget. Maybe it was. She's like, oh, I just happened to be there at the same time. So if you go to our website right now, Tony Ryan.com.com.

There is a little link to sign up. Join the wait list and then you'll get the ticketing information ASAP. You'll get it ASAP and you'll get it first dibs of the tickets to go on sale next Wednesday. Yeah, sorry, someone sent me all this information and I just didn't read it. I've just been going raw. Tony and Ryan.com.com.com to join the type mailing list. Next Tuesday. Next Tuesday.

Next Tuesday. September 1. I should have read this. Tickets go on sale September 1 at 12 p.m. AEST. It's in one week. Well, it's actually in less than a week because today's Wednesday. So I don't know who's sent this, but I'm just saying that's wrong. But if you go to tonyerine.com.com.

You'll get the legit information. We've just given all the wrong information. But with the live pod recordings, it's a lot of fun because people have come to see us. And they can come whenever they want. That's up to you. But we did live podcast recordings in Sweden. We did one in Latvia. We did one in Ireland as well.

and they are so fucking fun. And even if you come alone, come with a friend, like Charles, whatever, come in the back of a car and a Macca's drive-thru, it's up to you. That is what happened.

It's not in the Macas car park. But you've gone to do the drive-thru. And then you drove to somewhere. The lookout? No. We've stayed at the lookout. Yeah. Yeah, and they fucked in the car next to our house.

The house was next door. Just come inside. That's what she said. Oh, you did. Nah. Do you reckon Charles can hook up with someone in every city? I'll be there, so yeah. But even if you don't have someone to come along with.

Seven shows and seven hoes. Is that what they'll say? Sorry, Ephra. And Tony's looking for seven bros for the seven shows. But you can see my seven toes. seven on each feet or total? Great question. What would you rather?

What would you rather? Seven on each foot sounds fun. Yeah. 14 in total, that's fun. But if you want to come alone, if you want to get a bunch of friends together. But people that come alone to our shows, they always make friends.

Tarpers are so fucking friendly. So if you've wanted an excuse, and because we'll be coming to your city, If you've wanted an excuse to make a bunch of friends locally, then like, this is the time. Come on down. But we would love to see you there. It's going to be a lot of fun.

We're really fucking excited. Yeah. Yeah. I can't wait to go to Perth and get Dom. That's truly. Oh, I said this to Tony the other day, and I didn't say it to Lil, and it's probably Lil's area.

Can, because we're going to do a week of shows in Perth. So there's the Perth show, but then there's just the rest of the week. Like we'll record a week of, sorry. Can we record those in a dome? Oh, yeah. Can we do that, Mel? Or if you're in. If you're listening and you work at a dome,

this is, I think, our in. If you work at a dome, we'll come after hours or make it eat. We won't get in your way. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But the kitchen does still need to be open. Oh, sorry, do you not want an espresso? Okay, no, say if they close at 8.

We could get there at 7.30. Have a hollandaise and as an expressky, and then we could record. Yeah, if you work at a dome or know a dome franchisee or anything like that in Perth. Email Lily at 21st. not do it Is that okay

Lily at Tony and Ryan dot com.com. Yep Fuck you're gonna regret that slut It's like A dome in Perth We don't, well we're not going to Geraldton Or the fucking

We're not going to the Malaysian This time But it's very, very fun Should we come up with like an outfit To wear at all them Or are we just wearing normal clothes? Great question. Yeah.

I... Open, actually, open to whatever you reckon. Well, last time I pitched an outfit, you said that I shouldn't wear a Bob Ross costume to our birthday party. I said that, oh, well, man, we should we dress out? I just thought, I didn't say dress up. I said, wear a certain outfit, and they're not the same. You shouldn't wear that.

People come to see you, not Bob Ross. Well, it was actually a compliment what I said, was that people want a photo with Ryan John. I do. They don't want to see fake Bob Ross. They don't want to see fake Bob Ross. And that's okay. That's okay.

I just love dressing up. I know. And you're very enthusiastic. You know what's interesting. Okay. Talk about it. My, my grandma and grandpa. Oh, fuck, we're going that far back.

I got to eat popcorn. Had a cupboard at their house that was the dress-ups covered. I think we talked about this the other day. Yeah. And so I used to love dressing up. Yeah. And now Mabel's got a dress-up cupboard and she loves it. And then I was talking about this with mum and grandma.

And I was like, we had that groom and I loved it. And she goes, yeah, she's like, look at the show. She's like, you guys dress up all the time because that's like a part of who you are. Like the reason we have a fucking dress-ups cupboard here at work slash my whole bedroom full of all sorts of dumb shit is because I've always loved dressing up and being silly. It is fun. But like, this is an expression of who I am. That is so beautiful.

Retail to bomb Ross. Oh, no. Don't bring that negativity into. to this beautiful thing. And Bob Ross wouldn't want that. He wouldn't want that. He's live on YouTube right now. He's busy.

Did you know he's live all the time, Charles? Yeah. Yeah. But it's not he. He's acting. Acting. I pitched that to Tony with all of our old episodes, just like a constant live stream.

And then she said, then no one would listen to the current one. I was like, well, and I was like so true. If they listened to a constant live stream of that, then no one would have a reason to go back to the old episodes. You know how we make money. Yeah, but you could still make money through the live.

How? Ads that play in our live stream. Yeah, and you know how I know that's true because I've watched your, you doing the live stream on our YouTube channel and I kept getting ads. Oh, so? Yeah. No ads. If you watch a live stream in Patreon, though?

No. Or if you've got YouTube Premium, wouldn't know about it, but it sounds great. YouTube Premium can get me pregnant. Have you signed up? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Have you really? Oh, my God.

That's bigger news. the tour. We've been talking about this for years and you've finally leant in. This is me fucking YouTube premium. I'm so proud of you. Oh my God. You don't know yourself. I wouldn't.

Oh, you don't. You wouldn't and you couldn't and you don't. That's the crazy thing. All right. Here's the to do list for everyone today. Yeah. Sign up to YouTube premium. Do yourself a fucking baby.

You're the first month for free. Five things to do. You could do YouTube premium a lot. you're not into the music, but that's what I wanted to do. And Charles said no, so I just did full Monty. Get YouTube premium. Step one. Slay. Step two, Tony and Ryan.com.

You join the waitlist to get tickets for the tour. Don't join YouTube premium. Spend your money on the live show tickets. Three. Find someone who works at Dome. Get them to message Lily at Tony and Ryan.com. So we can record our showms in a dome. Our showms in a dome.

Could we do it at the Rotter Island one? Because I really want to go to Rock. It's tough to get there, but yes. Yeah. I mean, as a bite girl, Yes, I'm very willing to go to Rottnest. It's like the only mode of transport is bikes. Well, you can walk.

Oh. For, picture someone naked and see if you've got an imagination. Yes. A lot of homework from today's show. Lots of homework. Okay. Okay. So this is going to take a bit of a right turn now.

Because I want to start with just like a bit of a sad thought. There are quite few places that when you go there, you have to like prep yourself for disappointment. I think one of them my bedroom It's not the back of Charles's Corolla That's for sure You're not a Macch's drive-thru in Hobart are you sweetheart Because you're going to have a great time Are you a Macch's drive-thru in Hobart

Because I'd love to go through you Are you a Macca's drive-thru but the drive-thru is close Because I'd love to come inside Hi, I'm Bart, I'm looking for a hoe Okay In the back of my carol and we'll call it Hobart Hobart, nice Put in the hoe in Hobart

Charles Patterson since 26. When were you born? 2003. 2003. Okay. In 2003, no, that wasn't 2003.

That's what I was born. Oh, I thought you meant when we went to Hobart. That was 20, 23. No, that was last year, 2025.

Fuck that last year. It was. It was. That's disgusting. Yarrick. So we did park run and I was like, this is great. I'm going to do this every Saturday from now on.

And I haven't. done one since. Nah, but you know, what you did do? You run 10Ks like a motherfucking champion. Thank you. And I'm pretty sure 10Ks equals about 15, 5Ks. Maybe more.

So true. Maybe more. Yeah. Oh, do we not want to do my thing now? Maybe more. I thought you were doing maybe more, baby more. Like baby born, baby born. So you got to prep yourself.

The new baby from Zab for creations. Did you have a baby born as a kid? Do you have like little dollies and stuff? No. Oh, that's, oh, I love having little dollies as a kid. Yeah. And I had a baby born called Kate. And I had like a full proper pram for her.

And I like took her to the shops. Yeah, baby born. Look at that real one second and left. Yeah, that's, mine wasn't quite so realistic. Imagine going down to the baby shop and getting one of those. That's how my mom got me. She picked you out of a catalog.

She went, he'll do. Okay. I think there are very few places on, in your life where you have to prepare. yourself with disappointment. One of them, unfortunately, I think is a buffet. You always think it's going to be awesome and then it's like not that good. What? That's the craziest thing you've ever said in five years of this show.

Charles, you're doing the same face. You always think it's going to be unreal and I think that a breakfast buffet is a little different. I'm stunned. But if you go to a dinner buffet, you think it's going to be amazing with the food's I shit. What? Nah, sure.

I've never been so shocked since. when Lily told us she had Subway in Bali. Like that is just like the craziest food news I've ever heard in my life. Oh, you guys, it's all the coolest subway in Bali. Bali has the fucking sickest subway you've ever seen. Oh, you guys won't believe what I did on my holiday. I wish of Subway and Barley.

You know if you got a subway in fucking Mill Park and call it a day? It costs way less money. Do you know what I mean? Anyway, one of them is the buffet. The other one is the Op Shop. When you go to the op shop, you have to prime yourself for disappointment. You have to like throw the op shop off. You can't let the op shop know that you're desperate or looking for something.

You've got to like kind of, oh, I'm not really looking for anything today in the hopes that it doesn't then get scared off. And it gives you what you seek. I'm not looking for anything specific. I'm just sort of here. Just have a bit of grass. See what's up. Because if you go there looking for something specific, the chances are that you're going to be disappointed.

And when you're in the car, I think you've got to like give yourself a bit of a pep talk and you go, this might be shit. Yeah. Or when someone goes, it's the best op shop, I go, that might be the case. But it's not, doesn't mean that every day is good. You know what I mean?

And I've been obshopping a bit because I am looking for something specific, but I've got to tell op shop, I'm not worried about it. But my sister and I have been obshopping quite a bit. And you kind of got to go in there and you're like, hype yourself up a bit. Anyway, we went to this offshore yesterday. And we're looking around and we're just like talking shit or whatever. And at the back of this one specific one, I'm not going to say which one that it was because it is a good one.

You're gatekeeping. I am gatekeeping. And do you know why I have to gatekeep this one? It's because your wife told me about it. And she said, never tell anybody about this op shop. And you took Libby. And I took Libby. Libby doesn't count.

Libby doesn't count. She's got the biggest mouth in the South, mate. You tell Libby where that op shop is. Don't you talk about my sister's South mouth? Half the fucking city you already knows. No, no, no. No, I said you being trusted with this information. Wait till you see the gob on her sister.

Anyway, and we go. There are those lodges. And we were. We were just like talking shit and being silly. And we're walking around and you kind of get to like the section of the op shop where all the big furniture is. I've got like chairs and desks and stuff. That's always like fucking crazy.

Oh, and it is. Can be hit or miss in the furniture section. It can be hit or missed the whole thing. That's why you've got to prime yourself for disappointment, but hope for the best. Hoping for the best, but expecting the worst, you know. Anyway, we're talking shit.

Yeah. Forever young. I need a pee forever young. Do you really want to live forever? Was that Evermore? Nope. Didn't they have a moment? Yeah.

They're really good, though. but goddy like they're quite religious so like if you think about a lot of the words to their songs like very... Who was forever young because that song was

everywhere for a few months? Well, not no, that's not the original. So there is an original from like the 60s and then there was one that came out

which is the version that was on the OC that's why that one was huge. Is it cool? Are they called the youth club? Youth group? Youth group? Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, we're walking around we're just talking shit and I get and see this like old writing desk you know like and then you open the thing yeah but you pull the thing and that's kind of where you can work whatever and it looked beautiful but had the vibes like it looked a bit spooky are they called a bureau or something how we is a bureau this oh no yeah but I feel like it's something my grandma would have had and she'd like sit down and write her letters at and stuff and like yeah it was exactly that and it was beautiful and I was like, oh my God, the right person could like strip all the fucking white paint that some

assholes put on here and like sand it up and make it beautiful. Are you the right person? No, I'm not. I don't know. I'm, no, I'm not. I can see that for you though. I can see that for you. Don't say that to me because I'm just stop buying furniture and trying to flip it.

You're so good at art and crafting and you got that shit out of the back that is just born for like to do redoes out there. Don't, Ryan. That could be your new personality. No, but the thing is, is that then when I come in here and I say I've got a new personality you go, every day, sudden else,

I spat everywhere. You know? I support all of your decisions. That is not true. No, but I love that one. Nah, it is so,

and they make it look so easy on Instagram, hey. It is. It's a piece of, sweetheart. They make it look so easy. But anyway, so we're just fucking around.

I see these old Ryan and there's, I'm like, oh, how beautiful. But it did look a bit spooky. Anyway, I open and Libby is standing right next to me, and I pull the thing down, and I was just like,

oh my God, I just opened that. I think a ghost came out. Yeah. Like, just had those vibes. And I didn't realize. Creeping.

There was this little girl. She was the ghost? No, who died 400 years ago. Imagine. No, like a little, a little human girl,

like a person. Yeah. Well, they all were at some stage. So true. No, and I don't mean to be ghost-sist, but I'm...

But she's a live one. She was alive one. Like a warm. She was a warmie. Yeah, she's a warmie. She's still got something going on on the inside. And she's standing there and I go, oh my God, I think a ghost just came out of there.

And this little girl, she goes, you know, I'm shocked. Shame. She just fully flipped her. And she like goes and gets her mom. Did she look like she wanted to buy it? No. Oh, because that's what you do with their keen and you got their second. Because, you know, it's like first dibs.

Oh, that looks terrible. That looks like, oh, no. I reckon if a little girl bought that, they'd probably get attacked by them, ghosts. Well, like, when you're walking out of a house, you really like. Oh, they've used that cheap shiplap. Oh, that smells like mold. Can you smell that?

That's mold. They must have used plaster, which is a real thing. Yeah, they must have put a ceiling on this roof, and I don't think that's accurate. But yeah, it wasn't to throw off. I was just being silly. And I go, say the thing about the ghost, this girl, like, fully has a bit of a batting attack. She goes in a month.

How old was you reckon? Probably seven or eight. Oh, Prime being scared of ghost territory. Yeah. Yeah. Like. Old enough to understand, not old enough to know what the bullshit. To know that I was just being silly.

Yeah. And we shouldn't mess with kids. Oh, I'm for it. But I didn't know. She was there. And she just had a full fucking meltdown. Yeah, she would. And so Libby and I were just like, okay, walk away.

Like we just kind of like scurry down a different aisle. I'm like, oh, women's skirts. Beautiful. Like you do. Um, so did you get it? No. No. But maybe we should go back if now we're talking about deal.

I mean, it's still going to be there because that little girl has warned everybody not to buy it. She's like, no, goes to come out of there. In what? No. No.

Oh. Yeah. That is he don't miss that one. I know, but you have a good day sometimes. Sometimes. Can I quickly say something? So like,

you know how your cameras are pointing at you guys, not like from here. So yeah, so even when you do this. No, I did that you wouldn't be able to see. See, you can still see your mouth moving.

No. Hey, tone. Yeah. Tone. Yeah. Is Charles really fucking you off today? Charles is really fucking you off today

yeah yeah so no idea what you said what could we put over the mouths to cut out that we just docks our favourite op shops we could blur them I want to put

when I did that over my mouth I want your head to go great I'll do that great not to create any extra work for anyone just an idea no and I love it yeah

speaking of ideas is and because I've got an imagination, I can imagine you doing up old furniture that you find in op shops. Don't, because you know, I already bought the overalls. You know, I'm primed. I know. I'm ready to go. I can see you getting really fun, funky, cute fabrics and re-apholstering like an old chair.

Fine, don't. I'm going to come. You'd be so good at it. The thing about the other hobbies is I have no doubt that you could like learn it or like enjoy it. But this, I know you'd be good at it. It's not like, oh, if you put some practice it. Like, I know you'd be good at it. The thing about re-opulstering furniture.

And we'll give them to people on Patreon. Or refinishing bits of furniture and stuff. How long does it take? A while? It would be fun. I mean, you've got to buy a lot of tools, which is fine. Tobs got tools. Yeah, but also I'm in the Bosch ecosystem.

So I'm fine. What one am I in? It's the light, Ryobi. Ryo. How did we get in separate power tool families? You can't be in Ryobobie. That's like the Bunnings home brand. Well, I get them from Bunnings, my home.

Because remember the other day we were discussing, I'm going to get a water pressure thing. Pressure hose, yeah, pressure cleaner. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A Ryobi one. Yeah, no, that's one I told you. I've got the Ryobi one. Are you saying the two of us best...

I'm saying. Two of us best friends are using different branded power tools. It's embarrassing, eh? Because now we can never lend. Share a battery. I hate that. Charles, what are you in? Yeah.

I don't have any. That is really surprising. That is surprising. Yeah, just my LTT screwdriver. Oh, Lionel. Lionel's tech tips. Lionel, yeah. Okay.

I got to you love to see it. For Charles's birthday, we could get him into an ecosystem. Because I've always lived in an apartment, so I haven't needed it. But like, as I'm looking to like get my own place. But you're buying an apartment? Yeah. So you've just said, I've only lived an apartment. So now I'll need it, but you're buying an apartment.

Yeah, but it's mine. Like I've been able to just call someone up. Oh, money bags over here. I got my first tool at 39 years of age. What was it? Earlier this year or late last year, I got that leaf blower. And I was... Didn't I buy that?

Don't you that. We bought that on a video. At home. Yeah. And now I blow the leaves off the deck and I feel so masculine. It's really fun. Yeah. And I feel like, yeah, I am a contributing father.

That's beautiful. Yeah, I mean, you do so much more than that. But yes, I'm sure that the girls appreciate it. that. Oh, but I appreciate it. I love that you have a wife and a daughter and you can call them the girls. Yeah. Like, Torbs calls Piper and I, the girls.

That's cute. Or like, when he gets home, he's like, how am I girls? And just like, every time he says it, he just like feels me with the warmest, safest, happiest feeling. Yeah, because at home, me and Brian are the boys. So Bridget would say like, oh, the boys are at home. Yeah. That is so cute.

But here's the thing. One of the reasons that Bridget wanted a. girl, is she's like, it would just be like boys home. Oh, so the balance. If we had a son and Bron and me, she'd be like, it'd be the three of you onto me. Yeah, no, I do, I do understand that. Yeah. And, but to be fair, me, Mabel and Bron gang up on her.

Yeah. Fucking bring it. Yeah. Like, she'll come into the room and go, what are you three doing? Yeah. I love that though. Yeah. But I just like how you always go like, oh, I've got to get home to my girls.

It's just so fucking cute. We had another dog over yesterday. Who? Dusty. Who's Dusty? Kelpie. Who's Dusty the Kelpie? Or Bron, I was like, he should have a little play date.

So Dusty came around. What? Yeah, then Mabel was on my shoulders and we were running in the backyard and like, Dusty and B.J were like chasing and trying to grab a second dog. Is Is she floating a second dog? No, Bron is an only dog. He can't share the love. But he just liked having a play date.

That's nice. And because Mabel's going to have a play date, I believe. Like someone from daycare is coming. around and so I was showing like see this is what happens when like friends come around that is so cute yeah that'd be her first one aside from like your friends kids yeah um so that's fun and then but like she liked dusty but then I was like but I was like but you can't like him too much in front of yeah yeah just let BJ be the biggest sausage in the pan you know what I'm saying yeah yeah yeah yeah slay yep don't know how we got onto that but

um and you know what I'm glad we're here uh I've got to love to see it though sleigh is that fine Yep. Okay. This is from Kelly and she says, Hey bitch, love to see it. Yep. You started strong.

I live for Coke Zero. Boo. It would probably come out of my veins if I gave blood. Please donate blood. Well, not if it's Coke Zero. After all this talk of Diet Coke, I decided how good it could it be? And I tried it last week.

Oh my God. My life has changed. It is so good. Yeah, how's Kelly? You're fucking welcome. I have to BYO everywhere because nobody sells it. How annoying.

Welcome to my life. Yes. Do you know where he's easy to get a can of Diet Coke, though? Chicago. Really? Everywhere in Chicago, they're haul on Diet Coke there. Are they not a Coke Zero Town? Obviously not, but Diet Coke was so easy to get in a can there.

That's crazy. I love Chicago. You did love Chicago. Someone messaged on Patreon the other day, actually, saying that another reason I should move to Chicago is that they love small talk. They're like a small talk. Yeah. People are like really friendly and they chat in the street and stuff like that. New Yorkers who are a bit like, well, yeah, busy and kind of one way. Yeah. Apparently in Chicago, they're really friendly.

And Salaia. So Diet Coke friendly, love small talk on the water. I mean, what the fuck else is there? I'll tell you what else there is. The widest footpaths in the world. That's great. You never bump shoulders if you don't want to because there's so much room. How, what do we, what are they hauling on bike pathwise? Can you Google, Charles, is Chicago a bike-friendly city? Because as you know. It is, but it gets real, because Cooper rides his bike to work.

But he's like, it's cold. Like, you can't, from October to March. Aren't you just underground for those, Mark? Those are all the bike. Oh, well, I'm familiar enough with the city that that means something to me. So that's good. Yeah, we stay. Look at all those.

Oh, that's really nice. Oh, that's a lot of people. Yup. Oh, yeah. Great. It's a cycling town. Cycling town. My love to see it is from Katie.

Hi, Katie. She ordered Macca's Brecky the other day And she goes at 1055 Because wherever she is They're still doing breakfast till 11 Which is fucking awesome They only do it till 1030 here Yeah but

So she goes in at 1055 Gets an egg and bacon Mac muffin And they go Hey Which is hands down The best McMuffin A bacon and egg McMuffin

Is the best one I don't fuck with sausage Yeah same I just don't get it I don't get it at all I think a sausage McMuffin I'm just like Perper Town

Yeah. Pepper Pig. So it's 1155 and they go, hey, we're about to close up breakfast. Like, can I chuck in a hash brown or something? They go, we got a couple on the Bay Maria. It's the end of the shift. We're just going to. And so she got three free hash browns from McDonald's at 1155.

Now, Maccas is pretty. They're to the letter. Yeah. And that's okay. You order 10 nuggets and you get 10 nuggets and that's fine. Yep. And they throw it out. and apparently they used to count what was in the bin

because they're like zero waste so everything's accounted for so I don't know what's going on there but Katie, fuck yeah. That's amazing. That's made my day. Congratulations. That's huge. Congratulations.

That's big news than the tour. Honestly, that's massive. But we are going on tour. Tickets available next Tuesday, we just found out. So love that for us. But Tony and Ryan.com.com.com. You'll be the first to get tickets and all lots of fun stuff.

There are the details brought to you by Roland Car Insurance. Rollin around. Did pitch the name Tony and Ryan rolling around Australia. They didn't want that and that's okay. Yeah. Happy to be involved, but not that much. Yeah, not that much. Love you so much.

We'll see you tomorrow. Sorry. Whoa. Nah. Love you. And if you would like to have your furniture made by Tony, um, so now I'm not only refinishing things, but building it.

No. No, like, no, like, no, like, no, fix it. Not fixed, like, re, what's the word I'm? Like, renovating. You said re-opulster before, which is right. I would say remixing, like a DJ bit for furniture. Sly. DJ Tony Lodge at your furniture service.

DJ Tony Lodge. I might have to write that down because tomorrow, um, nicknames for Tony. Great. I did say it. I asked for this. You did ask for this. And guess what? Tomorrow, you're going to fucking get it.

All right. I'll chat you later. Bye.