Toni and Ryan - Buying a VACCUM and also in the BEDROOM

Episode Date: June 15, 2025

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Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. This episode is sponsored by Audible. And if you're into psychological thrillers, then listen up, this is for you. Oh, it is. Sacrilege Curse of the Mbuie is the new Audible original and it's bone chilling. Bone chilling. It stars Caleb McLaughlin, you know, Lucas from Strange Things, and it follows the story of the Wallace family whose trip to a luxury game reserve in Zimbabwe quickly unravels.

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privilege. Listen to Sacrilege, curse of the Mbuie now. Go to audible.ca slash sacrilege. That's S-A-C-R-I-L-E-G-E. Hello and welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. I'm Tony, this is Ryan and we never start an episode without a tarpa approval. Yep. That's Tony and Ryan podcast. Now, Rachel is in Singapore. Have we had a wet heat and a wet heat? A very rare, do we get a Singapore approval? Would it be our first one, Rachel? I don't think it's our first one. I think I'm the second. Second. Okay. Well, oh, but who's counting it? Yeah. Who's the second? Sorry, Rachel. You didn't win the gold, but our silver's pretty good. Yeah's our first one. I think I'm the second. Second, okay. Well, oh, but who's counting it?

Yeah, who's to say? Sorry, Rachel, you didn't win the gold, but our silver's pretty good. Yeah, the first loser. But, Rachel, I believe you have a joke for us. Yes, I do. So, what has a small dick and hangs down? What has a small dick and hangs down? Brian.

No! Okay, so it's a bat, and one has a big dick and hangs up Wait, what's the answer? What has a big dick in Hangs Up? Oh, that was fair! Oh! Oh! We're the fucking idiots! Physical comedy!

Yes, very good! Oh, hello, what? I'm hanging up. Rachel, that's very... Yeah, I'm sorry, we fucked it up. You got us with that, yeah. Yeah, I'm embarrassed. So did you have the hang up noises ready to go? Yes. Amazing.

Ryan loves a prop. I do, I just- So perfect. Now I'm just picturing Rachel with her big dick hanging up the phone. You know what, let's, whoever the first approver was from Singapore, who cares? Strictly from the record. Yeah, Rachel, you've nailed that.

Yeah, well done. Will you approve today's podcast? Yay! Yes, I do. Yes! This is Rachel from Singapore, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What?

What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? What? OK. Alright, welcome to a brand new week.

Now, now Monday, more like fun day. Now, do you know where I could go? A chocolate fun day. I was literally about to say chocolate Sunday. Yes. With a flake from McDonald's. I'll tell you what they don't do anymore that they should do. Crunchy McFlurries.

Oh, I live for an Oreo McFlurry. Have we got a honeycomb flake? Oh, we've got that honeycomb hot chocolate goo stuff. What? Remember the whiskey place sent us the honeycomb? It was honeycomb whiskey. Oh, maybe a bit early. Well, yeah.

Yeah. Maybe. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah, maybe a bit early. Well, yeah. Yeah. Maybe. Yeah, okay. Yeah. Yeah, okay, ignore that. Well, we do have just normal hot chocolate, but that takes, it goes completely backwards from a honeycomb sundae is obviously very different

to just a hot chocolate. Could we have a hot chocolate? Like it's then gone through so many steps. Could we do a hot chocolate with a bit of honeycomb whiskey for a Monday morning on a cold, fresh winter morning. Like I wouldn't, but if you want to do that. Okay, now I'm not being funny. You never are.

Sorry, Ryan got me with that just before we started recording and this is the best moment of my life. I said, I'm not being funny. He's like, well, you never are. And everyone laughed. And now you've said it. I've said it. Oh, hit record and I'll tell Ryan's one good joke of the decade.

No, but also then I said it, no one laughed. You just looked sad. Sorry. Yeah. Nah, it's a go. Nah, all good. All good, but. Nah, all good, but. Nah, all good. All good, but... Nah, all good, but... I want everyone to think about the conversations that you would have had on a Monday morning when you were in your late teens or early twenties. Think like college years. Oh, yeah.

You bump into your friends either a Sunday afternoon or a Monday morning. What kind of conversations are you having? For me, it's just like, it's almost like the debrief of like Saturday night. Yeah. Were you at Jenny's on Saturday? Oh, it was so good. I'm pretty sure she passed that guy. You know, am I, are we all, you kind of picking up what I'm putting down? And also, I mean, the first thing we asked Charles was how was that date?

How was that day? You know, like, so yeah, I think so. You're kind of like, oh, who are you, what are you doing? And what are you doing? Yeah. What time did you get home? Yeah. What are you doing? And so that's about 15 years ago for me. Those fun, I actually remember the last year of school because in Victoria, it might be a bit more, but yes. In Vic, more for me in high school, but in Victoria, you turn 18 in your last year of high school, which is going out drinking age. So Monday mornings was just like people, it was almost like not quite a walk of shame, but you kind of had to front up and face the music for your antics on the weekend.

No, see, I don't think that that's walk of shame. That is like, it was cool if you'd been out on the weekend. Yeah. Oh, but people walking in like to the common room and everyone's like, oh, here he is. Yeah,'d been out on the weekend. Yeah, all the people walking in like to the common room and everyone's like, oh, here he is. Big one on the weekend. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now on Saturday, I went and bought a vacuum cleaner.

That's awesome. And then yesterday morning, I'm around at Rach and Andy's because they've got a kid, Poppy and her and Mabel like to hang out. And they go, they go what'd you get up to yesterday and I go That's not much. We're shopping for a vacuum cleaner. Yeah Their eyes light up. I'm desperate to know the details. Yeah Tell me everything sit down. Yeah, where'd you go? Got the jug on Ryan got a vacuum cleaner. What the jug? Let's have a cup of tea. Let's sit.

What's the jug? What? What's the jug? Spoiler alert. Oh. Oh, that's cute. I got a child's Dyson. Not very relatable.

Well, not for a 38 Rob, but my daughter's two. Yeah. I borrowed hers, so. She's doing pretty well. What's a jug? Okay, he means a kettle. He means a kettle. Oh, I've never heard her call that in my life.

Get completely fucked. I've never heard that before. A jug. The jug. What is that thing? That's a jug. So you have heard of the name? No, don't be a c***.

Obviously, I mean, I've never heard it called that before. I've never heard a kettle called a jug before. Like I'm not fucking with you at all, genuinely. I know you're not, but my mind is blown. Yeah, nah, no, no, no, no. So if someone pops around for a cuppa, what do you say? Put the kettle on, you fuckhead. No, a thousand percent, yeah,

I've never heard it called that before. Is that a Victorian thing or like, I don't think so. Or just Eastern States? I think I'm with Tony, I think I'd say I put the kettle on. I mean, I'd also use and understand that phrase But if someone said put the jug on I could probably guess what you know

I like I'm also not being a dick think about the shape that a kettle is I Don't think it's really jug shape though the same thing If we compare our different water jugs Do you want me to do it side by side? I actually get what you mean, but in my mind I think because like a Sorry, if we compared our different water jugs, do you want me to do it side by side? No, like I actually get what you mean, but in my mind, I think because like,

a jug would be like plastic and a kettle's not. I think that's where in my mind I'm like, well, they're not the same. Kettles can be plastic though. And jugs can be metal. Yeah, like, no, I've just never heard that before. That is crazy. Can I do a quick Google and see if in WA, that's just never heard that before. That is crazy. Can I do a quick Google and see if in WA,

that's just not a thing. Kettle versus jug, Western Australia. I wonder if it fucking takes you to a Reddit. Okay, on Reddit, the term jug mostly describes the shape of the vessel, not its functional use. Kettle on the other hand is used exclusively for boiling water. Can I go in mind? Yes, please. I Googled put the jug on. Yeah. And it said put the jug on is a phrase commonly used in Australia and New

Zealand meaning put the kettle on or start boiling water. Yeah. I've just never. According to Quora. Yeah. Oh, and Colin's dictionary. Thanks Colin. That is insa- Sorry to fucking topsy-turvy this. I didn't know that's what that was. The thought that Colin's dictionary is just

a bloke named Colin is so funny. I mean probably originally sure, but like there's one bloke you walk up to and you go, Colin, what's this mean? Yeah. And he goes, oh, well, let me tell you. Yeah. And I'm just imagining that he works from home,

but he puts a collared shirt on every day. Yeah, because when the shirt's on, he means business. Yeah. When the shirt's on, he's colon. OK. In Sydney, New South Wales, put the jug in Sydney, put the jug on is a perfectly understandable request to boil water for a drink. That is crazy. Wow. Isn't it wild that across our beautiful country there is all this. And

again, Sophie and I being out of towners and no, but Brizzy and Perth are just like so much more familiar than we think. Anyway, though, I didn't know that. I'm so sorry. And I've never heard somebody say, put the jug on. And you thought, do you know what I did? I was like, did you make a Pims? Like, were you making a jug of Pims? Yeah. Rach, go get a bunch of fruit. Yeah. And mint. Put it in a fucking jug. How good's a Pim's cup?

Well, yeah, that's what I was like, hang on. I'm gonna have a Pim's after I have my honeycomb. Whiskey hot cock. Yeah, yeah. Hot cock. You can't just stop there. No, sorry, I shocked myself. Oh, what did you say?

A hot cocklet? That sounds like something that you would have at a hen's night. Yeah. Oh, who wants a hot cocklet? Charles, write that down. I want Tony have at a hen's night. Yeah. Oh, who wants a hot cocklet? I was right that down. I want Tony to have a hen's night. Anyway, you said put the kettle slash jug on.

Yeah. Yeah. Because set around folks, apparently us losers and by us, I mean every single fucking person in this room gets so excited for vacuum chat. Well when you mentioned it last week that you had to go, I was like, well, I can't wait to hear about this. So what did you go in the end? Well, first of all, Sophie, sometimes not here on a Monday. What's the first thing you said to me when you walked in?

I said, I can't believe you didn't tell us about the vacuum cleaner. Yeah. And I said, don't start me yet because we're about to do it on the show. We're primed for this. And then I didn't go for the Dyson. Oh, I think that's the right choice. Yeah. So there's a lot of chat about Dyson is a great brand of vacuum and they look cool, but maybe unlike Tony, they don't give you the suck you want. No, I disagree. I think they can suck, but it's the battery. The battery is absolutely rubbish. So Lily said that. Charles.

We've had to replace our Dyson battery many times. Absolute joke. Now Charles. And then they don't cover the, you've got to replace it because it's not good. Then they don't cover the fucking warranty. So Charles comes in, and this is the most Charles thing I've ever heard.

He's pro-dyson. What did he say? I've never used a vacuum cleaner. My butler doesn't. No, because isn't the Dyson like kind of the fancy man's vacuum? Well, I think it's. And he puts isn't the Dyson like kind of the fancy man vacuum? Well, I think it's- And he puts up with the poor battery life

because he likes the brand name. It's a bit of a- That's not what I said. I think that what maybe Charles is thinking is that it is a bit of a status symbol. Yes. I think a robot vacuum is a bit of a status symbol. No, it's a different kind of status. Yeah, that's a fucking tier you don't even know.

But no, but I think it is like, the sense of achievement I felt when we bought our Dyson vacuum. Yeah, you're like, it's a moment. I was so proud of ourselves. And I was like, wow, we saved all this money. We got a really good, it was like during, it was during like Click Frenzy.

So we ended up getting like, it was a few models older but it was only $300 instead of the 600. You know what I mean? Like. I think they were up to like the V12. And we got a five. We snagged a V8 last time and we were like, fuck it, that's half price.

Yeah. So I think like I really do understand the like, the sense of achievement you get from buying a nice like vacuum. I tell you the first time I bought a nice iron, I. Oh yeah it was beautiful. We are going to do in a moment things you can say buying a vacuum and also in the bedroom. Yeah. But first what is you as a Diet Coke Girls arch enemy? It's Coke Zero right? But do you remember how Coke Zero used to be like Coke No Sugar? Yes. So keep that in mind, because I think that our good friends, not sponsored, at LG have been inspired by Coke Zero,

because they don't have a cordless vacuum. I got the LG Cord Zero. Diet cord. I don't know if I'm like really impressed or I'm like are we just getting a bit too carried away. That to me, that sounds spicy. I don't like that. So what one did you get? You got the LG cord zero. Now let me hang on. It is powerful suction. Spoiler alert for the things you can say in the bedroom coming up.

I did already say to Ryan dibs going first. Auto empty, accessory storage. Auto empty? Hang on, what's that? So similar to, what's your girl's name again? Janine. Janine, fuck sorry Janine. How could you forget your niece's name?

I know, sorry Janine. So now in- She's like, oh, uncle Ryan and you're like, oh, who's that again? In the laundry cupboard. It's got like a dock. Yeah, but it's like a bit like the full body dock. So you like click it right in. Well, it's not just the bottom.

Nah, no, no, I gotcha. Yeah, so you click it right in and then like. Does that charge as well? It does. Oh, fuck that's good. Yeah. That's good. Cause the dice and you got to plug it.

Actually, fuck yeah. Yeah. Cause the dock, cause the dock, you got to empty the, again, ruining my own jokes, but you got to empty the again ruining my jokes, but you gotta be back One of my best ones my best one has been semi spoiled, but I'm still gonna Yeah, okay. I'll say it like I didn't just say it. Yeah, I'll react like I haven't heard. Oh, yeah And I'll yeah same cuz we're friends, but you plug it You are we allowed to say that at the moment Yeah, same. Cause we're friends. But you plug it. Oh, best friend, best friend. You.

Are we allowed to say that at the moment? Is that out of bounds? Nah, fuck it. I'm saying it. Yeah. Cause we're going to win. Yeah. So true.

Eat a dick. We're going to fuck Tapathon. Now this might fuck you up a little bit. This next, yeah. So auto empty cause you're putting the thing in empty as it's self. Okay. So it's, it takes all of the gibbies out

and then you've got an empty vacuum the next time that you go to use it. And a fully charged empty. Because that's the thing. Oh my giddy god. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That is spacey.

It's got a 2.3 inch LCD screen. What's the screen for? Tell us your stuff. What does it tell you? It tells you where you're up to so you know. Cause don't you hate when you're like mid room and then you run out of battery? Well that'll never happen to you now. Cause I'll know, I'll say it coming. That's, well you won't. Bridger will. You won't use it. You won't use it. No, I've said this before and I'll say it again. I don't do, if I do do one thing, it's the vacuuming. To do?

It made grammatical sense and you know it. Yeah, cause you really suck. Again, ignore that for when I, yeah. Especially with Bron, like just a little whip around sometimes with the dog hair and stuff. I do vacuum a bit. That's gonna change your life. Yeah, it will, it will.

That's unreal, because there's actually nothing worse than when you gear up to do the vacuuming and it is flat which does happen with the Dyson very often I will say. It does Charles. Get a dock. I've got a dock for my Dyson. Charles, Charles, Charles, Charles. We also had a dock but it's still because Charles. Your butler plugs your in. No. I don't have that. Charles. My place also isn't that big is what I said to Ryan this morning that like it... His cute little penthouse doesn't really have the expansive areas. He actually has a Dyson in every room. Yeah. So he just he just whips around the one room, pop that back on the dock please. Yeah. Sir, jeez if you could pop that back on the dock and Charles goes yeah. Even this morning I mentioned it because I brought in the little Mabel's little fun one.

And then the chat was off and I was like, save it for the Ep guys. Because am I surprised how fucking worked up people are getting for vacuum chat? Cause it's really just gets people going. It does. I was embarrassed that I spent my Saturday. Like I went to Harvey Norman.

I went to this place in Laylaw, which was like the vacuum specialty place. Oh, that's right near me, why didn't you come round? I think I might have. You think you might have come round? And then we went to this other hunt yeah we went to a few places we're in Epping. You went to Epping? Yeah. And you didn't come to my house? Yeah. He might have. I might have. He didn't come to my house. Yeah. He might have.

He might have. He might have. Yeah. When was this? Saturday, two days ago. Nah, it was the weekend before. No, I fucking, bullshit. Oh, actually, I went to see, yeah.

You were running me. Yeah, but I was busy. I would have put the jug on. Fuck you. I would have put the jug on if you were coming around. I actually probably wouldn't put the jug on. Fuck you. I would have put the jug on if you were coming around. I actually probably wouldn't put the jug on because I've got a coffee machine. Ohhhh. Oh fuck off.

Hey this is Rachel from Singapore and you're listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. What's better than a well marbled rib eye sizzling on the barbecue? A well marbled rib eye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well marbled rib eye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver.

I'm Joshua Jackson and I'm returning for the audible original series Oracle Season 3, Murder at the Grandview. Six forty-somethings took a boat out a few days ago. One of them was found dead. The hotel, the island, something wasn't right about it. Psychic agent Nate Russo is back on the case, and you know when Nate's killer instincts are required, anything's possible. This world's going to eat you alive. Listen to Oracle Season 3, Murder at the Grand View,

now on Audible. Oh, hang on, hang on. Sorry, before we do the champion shout outs. Sophie claims she has a great joke. Well, I need a joke and I want to hear that. So hang on. Nah, we're backing it in everybody. Sorry, before we do the champion-approval. Before we do the champion-tap shout-outs. Sophie claims she has a great joke. Sophie goes, well, I need a joke and I wanna hear that. So hang on. Nah, we're backing it in. Everybody, ready?

Tony and I will count down from five. We'll do a big clap. Five, four, three, two, one. Sophie.

Tony's always got a couple of jugs on. Oh, Sophie Estelle Woods. Oh, she's pretty happy with it. Good. Good. So you've now said that twice. Was it better the second time? No, it was way better the first time when only Charles heard it. But he was super like to say the same thing. You can't talk to Charles about your breasts.

So if I had to tell you that one more time. I've got a couple of champion tapas to shout out here. Hopefully a few of the people that will be joining us for the tapathon 3, 3, tepening. That's not what it's called, but every time in my mind, that's what it says. Laureen Apriou, thank you, Laureen. Alexia. Thanks, Alexia.

Brody Hooper, good on you, Brods. We have just set off everyone's, oh, that's Alexa. You continue. Oh, no, oh, yeah, sorry. Oh, no, that's Hey Google. Oh, don't beat him. Nah, sorry, not beat him. Brody Hooper, love you Broads.

Chris Abrahamowitz, Alexis, Amy Glascott, Olivia and Julie Valvik. Thanks Julie Valvik. Thanks Julie Volver. No, sorry. Julie Valvik Thrust. Love you so much. And yes, we are doing the Tarpeathon three,

dual confinement. Ryan and I will be proving, we've got 24 hours to prove that we're best friends. We're very excited, 9am June 28th. Yep. If you want to check it out, it's all details in the page. Now, a few people have asked us to do some time zone conversions and my answer is no. Because too many times have I done time zone conversions. And they're wrong. And they're not right.

Yeah. And so I'm not taking that on. Yeah. People have asked other people, TARPAs in Patreon have said, it's actually them and I've looked at that and gone, I'm not getting involved, but that is not right either. I replied to a couple and that's opened the floodgates a little bit.

What I will do, let me promise this right now. What I will do is let me promise this right now, what I will do is I will post in Patreon the like World Clock website. Very reliable. It's what we always use for all that stuff. And you can pop in our time that we're going to start and you'll know then what time you need to be fucking on it. Could we do some SponCon with the good people at worldclock.com? We honestly we're keeping that website going. Yeah Can I say one more thing actually about the tarpathon is that today?

We are opening entries for champion tarpas to upload their video to be part of the tarpathon intro Yep, it plays every hour. Yes, so yourself. So every hour We do like a new group of tarpas and it's all, they get to like introduce the tarpaathon every hour. So very cool. And if you want to be part of that, that link is open from now until the end of the week. Just this week. Yes, just this week.

Cause then we've got to edit it off air chat. We've got to chop it up. We've got to chop it up. So we'll show you'll know exactly what you need to do. But if you want to be part of that, make sure you sign up now because that's only available for the champion. That's great. Shout out. That's great. Shout out. Now things you can say buying a vacuum cleaner and also in the bedroom. Do you work here? Cause I need a good suck job. Well, you've come to the right place. You'll be coming in the right place.

Why did you? Nah, I just looked at my next one. Just like this vacuum cleaner, I also come with accessories. Sex toys, hot. It does sound a little bit like something's fucking wearing up doesn't it? I don't actually do anything but I look good because it doesn't actually pick anything up eh the kids. The kids are no but it makes those little things spin. The little beads yeah no so it looks great but doesn't do anything. Yep. Like me. Vacuum cleaner. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No.

No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. No. That was the one I ran and was like, that's good. Check out this swiveling head. It gets deep into the corners. Does yours only suck or does it blow as well?

Cause I do. Blow a job. Yeah. Yeah Isn't it weird that it's called a blow job, but it is a suck job. Well, it depends how you do it. Oh Don't give me that look miss I've never heard of a jug before What? What do you mean? Are you blowing on penises? That's not the deal. I don't think. Not to yak anyone's yum. Yeah, it sounds like yacking someone's yum. I got Hey Big Boy. Oh, Charles.

Oh. Hey, I'm pretty good on a smooth surface, but if you've got carpet, I'm down for that as well. You will need that. You make me that cum. Okay, that's not how it sounds, but it is how it's spelled. Yeah. So I'll pay that.

Thank you. It's a visual one. Where would you like me to empty my bag? They must call you Dyson because you're pretty powerful but you don't last very long. That is good. Every other vacuum brand should use that in their marketing. They should if you would like to join the Tony Lodge marketing school of marketing. Email now. Yeah, life's good.

Oh, what an impressive cleanup job. If you touch me, Beaver, I'll give you a Hoover. I think the less we think about that one, the better. What's wrong with my Beaver? No, I'm just, the word play of it, it just, yeah. How do you? Before I recommend which is best for you, doggy or nah?

Oh! What? Now that's good because when you go to the vacuum store, they have pet accessories. Oh, do you have a dog? You'll probably need that one. Yeah. Oh, is that just something they say?

Nah. Oh. Yeah, I think you got got to i did yeah was called zero life's good will um my warranty cover this if i get wet why do you need to know what because you're wet. Yeah. I don't have any more. That was my last one cause I was like, this is going to be crazy. I go again.

No! Um, doesn't really sound like a vacuum cleaner is like the only thing that it doesn't really sound like a vacuum cleaner. It's like the only thing that it doesn't. It sounds like you're waking up on a Sunday morning and your neighbor's got the leaf blower out. I don't even know. It just sounds like, oh yeah, like in the distance. Yeah. Yep.

But I better get that home pretty quick because Mabel uses that every day to clean up before bath time. Yeah, she's not doing a very good job. No, she needs to lift. No, that's not doing anything. We did consider getting a Janine and I know this is probably how dumb because I'm sure there's ways around it, but.

Stairs. We've got like three kind of steps. Yeah, and it's so annoying, it's not even a set of stairs, it's literally like. Yeah, just down the hill. Yeah, no, I think that that is literally a thing that people are like, Yeah. And it's so annoying. It's not even a set of stairs. It's literally like. Just down the hill. Yeah. No, I think that that is literally a thing that people are like, oh, so what then do you,

it gets half the house done. You move it upstairs and like. Yeah, I might as well get a cord zero. Yeah, and that's what everyone's saying. Yeah. But yeah, for us, cause our house is just the one level. Yep. Not like multiple wings.

Yeah. So. Speaking of my house, I've got it. You love to see it. And it's a bit of an update actually. You know how there's been a bit of what I'll say correspondence and back and forth between myself and the Nilandbik Council. About the bin. Because I got a letter saying you've placed the wrong thing. So then yesterday... So did you contact them you mean? Back and forward like you said like well no I didn't. Well because you got the original like don't do this. Yep and it was just like attached to your bin right? Yeah yeah and then I think we got another something. Why? No no there was something attached to the bin and then we also

got sent the letter which is the one I brought in. Yes, that's right. Yep. And then I talk smack about them on this podcast. And then I notice over the weekend, there's another thing that's been attached to our bin and we're going, fuck, not again. And that's so shameful because you know that your neighbors have driven past and gone, they're not sorting their recycling.

Well here's me posing with the label. Oh. Oh, that's a face. Zoom in. Oh, thank you. We didn't see any incorrect items in your recycling bin today. That's awesome.

Oh, I was zooming on that bit. Look at that face. Zoom out so I can see the whole one. Isn't that the most fucking horrifying thing you've ever seen? Zoom out so you can see the whole pic. Can you believe, what? That's what they would use to scare young children. Yeah, that looks like Momo.

From putting the wrong thing in the recycling bin. Here's the whole photo. Oh, that's cute. Thank you, Sophie. Oh, there's a couple, so you've taken a bit of a gallery. Yeah. Nice. Oh, there's a video as well.

Is there? Hang on. Well, yeah, sometimes big stuff happens and you gotta- Because I walked up to Bridget. Oh, fucking iPhones, what's with the fucking volume? Yeah, Ryan's having a real time with his phone at the moment. Do you want me to do mine?

No. I just want to play the video. I don't know. I don't know why your thing. Hold for ring. No like bottom right is there like a volume thing that you click? Bottom right but the volume just tickers are on the side. It like mutes a video.

Like on photos. Like a little speaker emblem. Yeah. Do you want me to have a look little dude? But shouldn't it just be there? No no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no no bottom across the bottom you know how there's like yep so that one tough on mama tough on mama tough on mama Charles no showbiz tough on mama where there's nothing there okay sorry what do you mean you can see it from here Charles is it there There's a picture of a f***ing bin. Tough on mama. And then there's the edit signs. Tough on mama. That's a rock in the picture. Did you record sound? Yeah because I've listened to this already. Is this me? Well how did you get it working then? Content.

Yeah so Charles is just having a look at granddad's phone. There is iron. What is exactly? Oh no, that's how you turn it off. Oh my God. This is so. Wait, wait, wait. What if I turn it off and turn it back on?

People are gonna be glad. Leave us a five star review. If you've enjoyed today's episode, make sure that you like and subscribe. Follow us on Spotify, leave a five star review review it's all good stuff it's all good stuff so my phone works so it's just the photo don't edit this out no leave it in leave it in because this is the raw side so the audio works from you know how this morning you mean Charles is that it's sometimes it's messy you know but

it won't be anymore with the LG called zero you know how how this morning you me and Charles played that game in the office called Who Can Put Their Hand on the Heater the Longest and Not Burn Themselves? Yeah, that was their game. The heater! Oh, grip! He says it like... Sounds like that. So the audio works for that video, but then I go to the one of the bin.

But you know when you just... Oh, it's working! All right, everyone listen. Five stars. Okay, so Bridget is at the bin and we've discovered the sticker. Yeah. What is it?

I thought it was like we fucked up but nah, it's a thank you! You're fucking welcome! Hahaha! It was worth it! Oh that was worth it. It was worth it. Yeah, that's really good. Yeah. That's awesome.

She was so pumped. And you would, because literally I was like, you already got fucking worded up about it. Like you've got to fucking, you got to lift. Look how happy she looks. Yeah, she does look very happy. Yeah. That is awesome.

It doesn't take much to get us happy at the Dumb Household. Pop that on the fridge. Like You should pop that on the fridge. Like pop the thank you on the fridge. Cause you don't get recognized very often in life. No. I think that you should really celebrate that. Not only am I gonna put the sign on the fridge,

I'm gonna put the photo of me posing with the sign on the fridge. I could print that for you. You probably could. I thought you were just bragging that you knew how the printer works. No, because not all of us do. It was like a genuine offer.

I could print that for you. Yeah, great. Because I've got like a photo printer. The cricket? No, no, the cricket is not a printer. No, I've got like an inkless like photo printer. How'd it work? So it's inkless and it works with the heat.

Like the what Oh, what? Yeah. It's really cool. That's why I was like, oh, I could like do that for you. We could then put it above like you pooing up there. Yeah. On the wall. It was like in a cute way that I was like,

I could print that for you and you've gone like, blah. But I was like, it's pretty nice. No, I'm excited. Well, you weren't. I just don't, when you said Inklis, I was like- I didn't say that then. That's what she had.

Are we off? What's going on? Is the BFI getting to us? Are we under pressure? I'm not under any pressure. You just got nasty when I offered to print something for you and I didn't need that. No, no, no.

I just, I think that you need to just think about what you said. For those flying long at home, I have an outstretched hand which is not being met and I just love Tony and I'm just looking at my empty unheld hand. I just think that if someone offers to print something for you these days you know how hard that can be. I think that's a massive gesture. And I would love you to do it. Yeah.

So what's the thank you? We're holding hands again. We'll be back tomorrow. You haven't done your love to see it yet. And I hope it's me. It's not. But now my love to see it is not as good as you passing the bin check.

You know what I mean? So I'm like, oh fuck, I wish I went for it. Like, you know when you just say fuck. Well actually, and this is like, might sound a little bit fucking preachy or something, but hear me out. God, right? Oh no, that's, no, that's tomorrow.

No, so I bought this thing called a brick. Oh fuck. And I've been talking- Don't say it near my phone. No, no, no, so we talked about, I think we've mentioned on the show, basically you set up these modes where you like, then tag your phone on this like brick thing

and it like disables those select apps. Yep. I received it in the mail like the other day. I used it for the first time last night, right? And it is amazing. Really? Because when you go to open it, it says, this is a distraction.

And I went, yeah. And I like put my phone back down. And I realized how not fun my phone is when I don't have Instagram or like whatever. Yeah, what were the ones you shut off? Okay, so I made one mode and it is Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, Pinterest, Reddit, and LinkedIn, things that I know,

because when you don't wanna scroll on anything else, you kind of end up there. That's the last app you end up on. If you didn't, you cancel all those ones, and then all of a sudden you've got this, sometimes it doesn't work out. I would have started commenting on stuff. Here's four reasons what I learned from my time

as an audio producer. Yeah, literally. That will make me better at walking my dog. Exactly. The other two things. I would love that for me. The other two things that I put into this band, ASOS and the Iconic.

Oh, dude. Because I was like, if I can't scroll on Instagram, I'll buy dumb shit I won't wear. I'm just gonna fucking spend money instead. So I put all of those things into my band apps. Then I like, and it was amazing. So then what did you do? Well, I actually did talk to my sister on the phone for like.

Put the phone one in the fucking band. No, no, no, no. Well, you can't. You can put like. Can you put Libby in the brick? No, but I was talking to her. And normally like if I'm on the phone, I'm kind of like half listening, half scrolling and we're just fucking catching up

about whatever. But every time I kind of went through that, I'm like, well, no, I'm already doing something. And even reminding myself that being on a phone is like, if we were having conversation, I wouldn't like just scroll on my phone. No. You do that.

You do do that. Anyway. I do do. That's what you said. But on your home screen, it has like a live ticker and it tells you how long your phone's been bricked for. And so like by the end of the night, my thing had been bricked for like three hours. And I was like, I am a beautiful, intelligent woman.

You are. We don't need a brick to tell you that. You don't need a brick to tell you that. But I was scrolled for three hours. You don't need a brick to tell you that. But I was like, wow, I'm at one with the earth. Yeah. Isn't that beautiful? That is beautiful. Anyway though, this thing, like the app needs a bit of work

because the thing is quite new. The app does need a little bit of work, but. Are we in beta phase? My beta. Fucking beta. That is so fucking embarrassing. I'm a tech guy. That's the most embarrassing thing I've ever heard.

Is it in beta testing? But- How do you pronounce it? Beta. B-E-T-A is beta. Beta. They need to work on that. Well, talk to the Greeks fucking three billion years ago. I will.

What's their number? Seven? Probably one. Yeah, probably one. Yeah. Where is it located? Where is it like? Oh! Probably one. Yeah, probably one. Yeah. Where is it located? Where is it like? It's in Europe.

I put it on the fridge. I put it on the fridge. Yeah. Yeah. And my want, yeah, Charles ordered one. No, cause you mentioned it and now every second- Charles ordered two. Do you want the other one?

Every fucking ad on my phone is for this brick. It's amazing. Because I got one ad for it. Obviously, I watched it for one second too long, and then every ad. And then I was like, the irony of scrolling on Instagram and getting this sponsored ad. I was like, you know what?

And I ordered it. I think it was like about $100. So it's expensive. But if you buy more than one, you don't have to pay for shipping. So Charles bought two, and it was cheaper about a hundred dollars. So it's expensive. But if you buy more than one, you don't have to pay for shipping. So Charles bought two and it was cheaper than Tony's one. Yeah. So Charles bought two and Lily's gonna buy the other one off him.

Oh, gotcha, gotcha. You know what I mean? For full price. For full price. Yeah, obviously. Charles is making a profit over here. Yeah. And then Charles, if you add that to your trust fund, that's wild. Anyway though, it's really good and I hell recommend it.

That's huge. Like, I really, it really made me feel good. And my brain, like the break from just fucking was really nice. I got a question. And I did actually keep going to open the app and then went on up. Cause that's the thing that's just,

you automatically open it and you click on Instagram. It's like muscle memory. Yeah, but the second that it like interrupted that habit, I was like, that's right, I'm not doing that. It was really good. Question? So you know how you are the CEO of Tony and Ryan? Yeah.

You are the bird in charge. Bird in charge. When people jump on their phone and scroll mindlessly, that's where our business thrives. So are you recommending that people don't spend time mindlessly scrolling the places where our business is discovered? But Patreon wasn't on. And Spotify wasn't breached. No, but how do you get there? You find, people find us on Instagram and TikTok. That's the start of the-

Hang on, hang on, hang on, okay. You've given me enough time to think about this. If you are listening to this, you've already found it. Gotcha. And the people who are mindlessly scrolling now, who find us, they haven't heard the recommendation yet. If you're listening, do not tell your friends to get the brick.

Unless you have a podcast on our podcast. You already know about it. Yeah, see what I mean? So I think it's a great flag, but you don't need to worry. Okay. Yeah. Because they wouldn't have heard this. They don't know the recommendation. But if you are listening to this, you should brick it and not listen to anyone else.

Don't worry about finding anything else. Tomorrow in Confessions. These are tough confessions. Where a tarpa- Oh, you know what I could really go for? Tomorrow being normal or nah. Have we, where are we at on that? We're at Monday is where we're at on that. I could really go for like tomorrow doing normal or nah.

Okay, normal or nah, doing confessions tomorrow. Nah. Okay. Well, it is normal, but I'm saying nah. Let me tell you about the confessions tomorrow. Atapa, this isn't great, but Atapa was, her partner cheated on her. I hate him.

Yeah, same. And so does she. And the confession is about how she got revenge. I'll come back in. Fuck normal. Love you, bye, see you tomorrow. What's better than a well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply.

Instacart. Groceries that over-deliver. I'm Joshua Jackson and I'm returning for the audible original series, Oracle, Season 3. Murder at the Grand View. Six forty-somethings took a boat out a few days ago. One of them was found dead. The hotel, the island, something wasn't right about it. Psychic agent Nate Russo is back on the case, and you know when Nate's killer instincts are required,

anything's possible. This world's gonna eat you alive. Listen to Oracle Season 3, Murder at the Grandview, now on Audible.