Toni and Ryan - Can An AirTasker Legally Do This?

Episode Date: July 13, 2026

Locking doors - Cleaning the couch - Reviews - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

He finishes the job. He goes, I can do a video if you want. And starts filming in our house. The fuck? I know. Torbs goes, I'm actually not really a video person. He goes, that's all right. You look great.

Hi, I'm Pete Pink in Perth. Hi, it's Amy Kourou and Party Chicken. We're from Basingstoke in the UK. Hi, I'm Kristen from Langley, BC, Canada. And we improve this podcast. Welcome to the first. the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author, bestselling Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hello. Thank you. Uh, coming up today, um, after being accused of having sex on her couch

too many times, uh, one of us has had a couch cleaner in. That did not happen. Did you have a couch cleaner in? Yes. Um, but we're big fans of Legally Blonde. Yeah. Love Legally Blonde. Then there's a new show out Al. I, it's, you know, Yeah, I haven't, I don't know if it's, is it really, like it's out and streaming now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't watched it. We watched the first episode the other night. Because it's Bridget's like favorite movie, right?

Yeah. And it's, I guess her like 10 years before that movie, like when she's in high school, sure, the thing. Yeah. But when we logged in, I hadn't watched it, but when she logged in, it was like, it was like resume playing. Oh, so like you'd started watching it. Not, but we, I hadn't, no.

Oh. But then Bridget had accused me of watching it without her. Oh. And because she was like, it's one of those shows where if I'm busy, she goes, oh, well, I'll watch my show. And if I, like, I'm not, you know, I'll poke my head in. But she goes, oh, if we're not going to settle him together, like, I'll watch. I'll watch it. Yeah.

Yeah. But then she goes to put it on and goes, resume playing. So you've hit play without me? Kind of. Oh, but more like, you're watching. blund like this guy yeah yeah um and i wanted to ask my tech bro friends how is that possible i mean are you using someone else's account or is somebody else logged into your account that's an aggressive question to ask on a public broadcast well i ask because but no it is ours i believe

what i will say is like so normally if i went to an air bnbee or stayed in a hotel or whatever you know how you log into your netflix so that you can stream and then when you leave you know You know, but you never log into anything. No. Like, if we were all staying in an Airbnb together, it's like, oh, we'll pop something online. It's never your account we log in here. How the fuck would I do that? No, that's what I mean.

Like, it's always like, Lily or Charles or me that would log in. Because it asks you all these questions. Like a password. Yeah. Who the fuck? Like. That's. But I'm saying like.

And how do you get your Netflix on their TV? We just log in, isn't it? It's getting a QR code actually even. Like, and then you do it, just do it on your phone. One thing that fucks me off is that Kio always logs itself out. And it's like, take a photo of this to log yourself back in. What was your address and password? I'm like, yeah, but I mean, I don't know.

I want to watch football. Logging out is random because it's like to stay in, like, you're on the TV. I might share that with a few people that one, though. Yeah, well, that might be why you're getting piffed out. Yeah, that's what I mean. So I kind of go, oh, probably know why. But normally if somebody, because I've mentioned, that this happened to me as well that like we'd stayed in a hotel or an Airbnb or something

then we went back on and somebody had watched like all of these Korean drama like so pop pro drama TV shows yeah well then all of a sudden it was that and I was just like oh well say but I've obviously left myself logged in somewhere yeah um but I think it sounds like what's happened is that you watched it without Bridget and you don't love her that's what I'm hearing you knew that she loved legally blonde and she would really want to watch that and you did snuck in. Probably did it with your mistress, Charles. You and Charles are sitting here and you watched your Legally Blonde movie.

Hey, hey, hey. I know you've got beef with Charles because yesterday we found out he's been working for Kiss FM. And I know, but don't drag me into that bullshit. But it sounds like you're cheating on Bridget. I'm not calling into Kit. What's worse? To the TV. No, what's worse?

If I cheated on Bridget or if Charles is calling into Kiss. Oh. I guess you cheated. on Bridgett is worth, but not by March. Not by March. If you're new here, Tony and I are best friends. Yeah. And I love you.

Love you. And there's a lot of differences between you and I. But I had this weird moment where maybe we're all not that different after all. I don't think so. Yeah. Like sometimes you think. Well, we've got our quirks. Yeah, but sometimes it all just comes back around.

And I think a full. circle moment has happened between us. That's so beautiful. Yeah. So Tony has just got a new door lock and door. And I think over the years, we've talked about how fuck that door is. And there's been tradies and there's been things and the dogs running out and the and it's been a debacle.

And like, because we got one day we locked ourselves out. Yeah. And a locksmith had to come. And we used to just be able. Because remember when you used to just like snip the back? Yeah. But then they came, they didn't have that locks. Then it was a key and we would always lose the key.

And it was a pain in the house. It's such a fucking pain in the house. So for those tech bros playing along at home, can you give me like a one or two sentence overview of the new fucking technological spandangle thing that's in your house? Because I've accused you of living in the year 3000 before. Yeah. And this might be even more.

So we've got now an electric mechanical door lock. Yep. Is that what's called Charles? Yeah. Yeah. And a smart lock, sure. And now we don't need keys. Yeah.

So there's like, there's a few different ways you can set it up. There's lots of different ones you can go back. Facial recognition, fingerprints, codes and stuff. Yeah. And I thought this was crazy. Like, it's like, first of all, I didn't realize this was possible. Yeah. But also traditionally, I haven't been one for locking doors.

Well, we talked about how you didn't have a key to your front door for a year. Yeah. Yeah. But also growing up, I never locked our house. I just went to school and then came back and like, whatever. Like, that's so, like, I know that this is going to sound a bit attie. Yeah. I know it was a different time because, like, when I grew up, like, we never locked our doors at night time or anything.

Yeah. Like, that just wasn't something that we did or were conditioned to do before you went to bed. You didn't lock the door. Well, I still don't really lock them much at home. But that's so, but aren't you, don't you worry though about like, or maybe not worry, like, because worry implies that you are actively thinking about it, but like, aren't you aware though that you're like, well, I don't want somebody to walk in or for BJ to be able to get, like if it's locked, doesn't it feel more secure?

Never really thought about it. But that's just insane. Yeah, and I'm not like, I just, every day, don't get around to it. It's not like I have this plan and I'm like writing a book about the... I'm going to look cool and not lock my door. Like, I'm team no lock and I'll fight the debate. I'm like, no, I just... Does Bridge feel like one way or the up?

Is she like, Ryan, you didn't lock the door again? Yeah, she'd prefer it would be locked. Yeah. But... Because even the front, because like you guys live in the back of your house. Yeah. So it's like whenever I come over, I just let myself in. Because if I knocked on the door, you wouldn't hear it.

Yeah. And also I'd... know that I'm welcome. So it's like if I just rocked up, I know that I could just like walk in. Most of the time. No, we don't do that.

No, we don't do that. But you know what I mean? Like, you know you can just kind of walk in. But like, that would freak me. If someone just walked in my front drive, I'd be like, well, no.

So here's where we're different. But here is also where we're exactly the same. I'm not there right now. But you're going to hear the sentence and you're going to go, oh my God, I'm the same as this fucking idiot. And then it's all going to, come together.

Okay. One of the reasons that I never lock the door is because supposedly I'm not good at knowing where my keys are. Yes. So if I don't have, if nothing's ever locked, I don't ever need the keys. Oh, I see. Okay. That makes me understand you more.

Yeah, because if I'm, so when I was in high school, right, fuck, school starts in three minutes. Fuck, I just got to go. So what am I going to do? Wake up earlier. Well, let's not be unrealistic, but like, am I going to spend five minutes looking for the keys, or am I just going to go to school? You know what I mean?

Just know where they are. No, that's not in play for me. But anyway, you said something the other day because you go, since I've got this new door, Ryan, do you know how great it is being able to leave the house without keys? And I went, yeah, I do. But I did something to make it possible. No, but we all wanted the same thing. Yeah.

We all love, because imagine I'm going for a run, right? Imagine. Yeah, this week I'm doing a charity run, but it's actually, because you go all. Now, imagine. Am I going to run with keys jiggling in my pocket? I'd even, like, obviously I'm not like ever going for a run. Yeah. But like, if I'd go to take people for a walk, having keys and so it's such pain me ass.

Yeah. And so. And then, so what I would do now when I take Beecher a walk, we just go. Yeah. And we just come back. Yeah. And we don't have keys because it's fine. Yeah.

Well, because it's not fine. It's that the doors aren't open. But isn't it true that we all just wanted the same thing? Yeah, I guess so. We all just wanted to go for a keyless walk. Keyless entry. Yeah. It's all the rage.

Yeah. I didn't take the keys out of the ignition of my car when I was 18 for 18 months. Because where do the keys do their best work in the. ignition. So then you weren't locking the car either. Well, I worked at a hotel. And so we'd just like, would leave our keys in case like someone need to move the car and the car park or something.

Yeah, got you. Yeah. So it was in a secure area. Yeah, but then I, the concept, I was like, I never left work going, where are my keys? Because they were just in there. And so once you learn that concept, you go, well, when I get home in the garage, I'll just leave the car keys in there, then I don't have to go look for them. And then you get to a Westfield and you go, well, who's going to fucking check?

And because I was like, I've got this old shitty Ford wagon, like, who's going to take it? Well, people would. They didn't. True. And you know what? Knowing the auto-electrics on that thing, they can fucking have it. So I'm off track. I'm off track.

But I think like. So we're just the same new and I tone. Yes. We just love being keyless. We love being free. We just love living out. I've done something to make that possible for me. Same. And the thing I've done is not care.

We're just the same. I just could, I could not leave my house unlocked. Like I, like mentally just, I, pick a number between one and ten. No, but I just could not leave my house unlocked. Yeah. Like, I think it's one of the, you know how like if you tried to wet your pants, you probably couldn't?

Like, your body would probably not let you. Yeah. Like, if you'd be, you know what I? Like, I think that I couldn't physically leave without being like, well, like, that doesn't feel right to me. Um, it is, I will say, though, it is amazing. Yeah. not having to worry about them.

And if I walk up to the door, I just like do my fingerprint and the door just like pops open. Like it is fucking beautiful. And you know why I get it? Because you've never had keys in your life. Because you and I are the same. Do you know what's interesting?

Just key. You do which I think would solve a couple of these problems. Whenever you enter- Get ADHD medication. Well, no, the gluten. But whenever you enter a space, like whether it's get here to the office, get to my house like you do it wherever you go is that you will like slowly scatter your things around

yeah like you'll kind of get there and like throw your keys on the bench put your phone on the table put your like computer somewhere else and then you go oh where's all my things would you if you then put all your things in one place or a similar place or then do you think that the key problem would fix itself because you go, well, I put my stuff in the same spot every time or. No, it would be a great idea. This morning, I brought some stuff up from the car and I brought it up the stairs and then just like, getting up the stairs is huge, not being condescending, truly, good job. And then I put shit everywhere and then I went, got some more stuff, brought it back up and then had to look for all the stuff. I brought that the bedding back because I took it home.

Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And so, and then I brought my laptop back and then I brought all that stuff up and and I was like, where did I put that? Yeah. It took me ages from my laptop. Yeah. But the bedding's back. And you brought it upstairs. Normally you leave it downstairs on that weird little table. So that's awesome. I didn't need to bring in that. That's my next thing.

I said I wasn't being condescending. We're just the same. We're the same. Yeah, thank you. I've got one other thing to add. To show you how handy I am, because I'm changing,

I went and got the garage remote. I went and got the garage remote fixed. You're joking. Yeah. Did they just clone them for you? Well, some they couldn't clone. but they could give me a new thing and

he gives me in straight because he goes you have to do it yourself at the house oh like you got a pair program it and stuff and he goes don't worry pretty much anyone can do it Charles why the fuck are you laughing

do you know what's crazy is that you are that 1% in so many areas like oh my god sorry no you're the 99% in so many areas like there are so many things that you are just like, oh, that makes sense to me, that I look at and go, oh, that's like gobbledy gook.

The things that aren't in my area are things that are helpful. No, that's not. I won't accept that because you're my best friend and I love you. And I don't think that's true. But reprogramming a fucking, yeah, that's not. You're a 1%. Yeah. And so, you're one in a million.

Yeah. So thank you, sweetie. Thank you. And he says to me, goes, which would have been able to do it, though. She's handy. She is handy. She's handier than I. Oh, okay. That was fucking blunt of you to say.

No. Shendier than I am. Oh, that's not saying much. Nah, she is good. But this job has been assigned to me. Okay. So it's sort of like, who side are you on? I'm not on anyone's side. I'm on the side of right and wrong. And that's you having keys in a garage that closes.

It's probably about three weeks ago. You asked me. I think you asked me about a year ago. No, that was about the thing and the thing. But my thing actually stopped working. about three weeks ago. Oh, gotcha, got, got you. So what I've been doing is not fixing it, pulling up at the front,

walking in the house, which is unlocked, and then opening the garage from the inside, and that's how I get in the night. I thought that the inside wasn't working. No, because I can press the... Oh, the actual, like, dog here, that sits at the tub here, yeah.

So I have to do that every time. That is so frustrating. Wouldn't you rather just drive straight into your beautiful double car garage? I would, and that's what I would do if I had a fucking remote that worked. Yeah, so it's a lot of admin. So you went to the play.

Have you programmed it up? He goes, pretty much anyone can do it. Famous last words. Hey, watch me fuck this up. And I said to him, oh, and... Actually, fuck that. Fuck that. I go, oh, the thing is, I've...

Oh, no. I said to him, can we lean in? Do we need the horse? Well, because I kind of... I go... like I looked around I thought yeah yeah I know like most people can do it but I said I've actually got this condition

um is there any way you can come to the house and do it got a condition yeah and he goes oh sorry to hear what's the condition and I said I'm a fucking idiot I mean it's a condition I deal with every day yes but I thought that was really funny and he didn't it was as if he thought being a fucking idiot was and it is but like a true condition that I had

and he was like oh sorry to like you know oh okay let me get the oh when you were just kind of going for like a bit of a cheap thrill yeah and then him go you'll be right mate or he's like oh mate aren't we all yeah and he goes oh well in that case um what i'll do is um and so he prints out these instructions well the instructions should come. Yeah. And so he printed him out and he actually ran me through.

There's like six or seven steps. Yeah. Oh. Oh. Oh. Yeah. Six or seven cuts. There was a certain amount of steps.

Yeah. And he like, fucking sweetheart. Shout up to Mr. Mood. Goes, yeah, step one is like, you have to look for this red dot. So what it will be is like a dot that is red. That's so sweet.

Yeah. And then he's like, and then this light. will flash and it can only be the one light flashing but some people get stuck because they think three lights are flashing but that's just like the light from the actual flashing kind of like spreads out yeah and he goes so sometimes looks like the one on either side or a bit flashing but that's actually just that middle one going there um that's why you love to say it shout out to the guy at the mr minute that's really beautiful he was really nice so is it working oh no i got one of them going the other one still needs a bit of work but i can get it

in. Hey, and that's all you made. And you and I, we're just the same after all. Exactly the same. Hi, I'm Pete Pink in Perth. Hi, it's Amy Goddou and Party Chicken. We're from Beazin-Stoke in the UK. I'm Kristen from Lainley, BC, Canada.

And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapers over at our Patreon. And a Patreon is like a paid... platform that you can join up and support us, get some cool content. A few of the people... Winner trip to Fiji. You know, the classics. Join a live stream. And actually not just win a trip to Fiji, but a trip with us. Like, we're coming. We're coming to Fiji. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Talks right up.

Taylor, witcher. Good on your Taylor. Pixie Inc. Thank you. Love to see it. Tony still doesn't get the whole write-off people thing. Yeah, I don't. No. I'm like, oh, so it's work's funny. It's what it's your own. Yeah, when you own work, it is... Yeah, when you are work? Yeah. Yeah. So, I'm, so, I'm... I, because I read this comment the other day and it's like, because my favorite hobby at the moment is sewing. Like, I also, like, so I'm a, I saw this thing online the other day, it was like, I'm a whole of all hobbies.

And that's me. You are a whole of all hobbies. I've got lots of stuff and I kind of like oscillate between them and decide which one I like at the time. Similar to a wed window, would you be like, yeah, and for a few months I'm all into sewing and then I'll like move to, and I'm all in on this for a few months. Because I was all into felt for a while while I was making those felt babies

for Mabel. It was a good time for all of us because we all got felt up. Yeah. But right now I'm into sewing and when I buy a pattern online it gives you up because you used to be able to buy them that would chip at you but it's not like that anymore

that you get it and it's you download it and you can print it. What? Yeah. And so when you get it, it's like you can print it on your printer but it's like 80 pieces of paper that you then tape together and then cut the fucking thing out.

Oh, fuck off. I know. Isn't that wild? If I wanted to do, well, is that still crafting? I was like, I wanted to cut and make shit. I would just do crafting. Yeah. But so I'm into sewing at the moment, that's a problem.

But I really don't remember why I started talking about that. And I love that for you. I really, I had a point and I don't remember what it was. Sowing, oscillating between hobbies. Yeah. But why did I say that I'm into sewing at the moment? Because you saw something online. I saw something online.

Fiji, Patreon. She's losing it, folks. Mark the day. I'm really sorry. This is the start of the downhill. Yeah, Pixie Inc. Good on you, Pixie. Fuck, I, that's going to drive on crazy.

Rebecca Inga, good on you, Rebecca. Mara, love to say it, Mara. Thank you very much. Ellen Neach. Thanks, Ellen. Rob Moyer. Is she speaking to a lot of people or if she's sticking to her, Alan Nietz?

Nah, she's a real Ellen Beach. Sorry, Ellen, I didn't mean that. Rob Moyer, Steph Huntley. You got on your step. Blair Penlington, which sounds like a very fancy. That does. But she's gossip girl? Blair walls off.

Yeah, that's good. And Alison, good on you, Alison. Thanks, Ali. I really would love to know where I was going with that. It doesn't matter. Join the Patreon. You can go to Fiji and Kraft and you print it out now. I just promise.

You just have to try. trust me that I had a point. And it doesn't matter. I always do. Because I am letting it go. Are you? And I don't need to take that on. I think you've taken it on.

No, no, no, no. Don't put that on me. I'm not taking it on. No, no, no. I've taken it on. You're rejecting it on? I'm not taking it on. I'm taking it on.

No one has to take it on. I'll take it on. Let it go out down the door and out the window. That's fine. I've got an ethical question. Please. Regarding. Fiji and sewing and preaching it out now.

Regarding like, reviews for services rendered. So as we mentioned, I got my couch's steam cleaned. We've had, it's like a, it's a light grey fabric couch. We've had it for about three, well, since we moved into the house that we live in,

so about three years. And we have a dog who drools a lot. So when she's sleeping, she just like drills heaps and there's like little puddles around her. So it was just like... So all of the marks on the, on the couches are from the dog. They were.

For those listening, I am making faces. There's, anyway, it wasn't for a sex reason. It was for having a dog reason, but also, I just like, it was getting stinky. And, like, I was like, oh, should we get that cleaned? Anyway, and then, so the guy, um, I called him up and I was like, can somebody come? Like, I just really want to get it done. And the guy goes, yeah. Sounds like someone already did.

Is that what he said? No, he didn't. He didn't say that. Wouldn't people doing that job see some fucking shit though. Yeah. Like jokes aside, but like, there's this guy on TikTok that does like car detailing. Oh, yeah. And he's just like, some of them come in, just a little spruce that a vacuum.

And he's like, but sometimes it's just fucked. Like what? I just like chip wrappers under this and there's cockroaches and it's in the felt and it's dirty. then they pull the carpet up and underneath it there's more shit and there's cigarette and you're just like, like imagine like your, yeah, I love that you spruced it up and we joke, but. But it wasn't fucked. Yeah, it was just like. Like we've sat on it last way. It was fine.

Yeah, like it's normal wear and tear and mess. But imagine like that guy would have some stories, you know, like they would see some shit. Well, so what surprised me when I called him up is they were like, oh, we can be there in an hour. Yeah. Right. Like an emergency lock spiff. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

What's happened? No fucking shit. I'll be there before it dries. Well, so I said to Torbs like, what would you need a 60 minute turnaround to steam clean a couch or a carpet or whatever? And he was like, well, like, say if you've got kids and your kid like gets poo on the couch, you can't just like live with human shit on your couch. And I was like, so, like actually so true. Yeah.

I mean, Ryan disagrees. But I think you probably can't. But I just, because I'm not in that world. I just hadn't thought of something like that. But they go, oh, is it urgent? And I was like, oh, I'd love it done today if that's possible. But like, yeah, come and clean it. If you free, yeah, I'll fucking pay the money.

And the guy goes, oh, yeah, we can come around. We'll be there at 2 o'clock, like all sweet. And I was like, oh, cool. He sounded really nice on the phone. Anyway, he rocks up, fancy new door. He goes, hey, nice door. I can get in here really easily. And I was like, hey, thanks, bro.

He walks in. Isn't it nice when Trades turn up at the time they said they would? don't i've been ghosted by three separate tradies in the last two weeks you know how daniel worked from home on monday did that plumber not fucking turn up that mother fucking this is a warning to all the plumbers of mill park watch out watch out it shits you a and do you know oh sorry tangent that i'm going to remember the point of yeah um if you aren't coming, just tell me.

Let me know. Because then I won't wait. I'm not, if you ring and you go, I'm so sorry. Or I'm going to wonder at 8pm, like, I guess you're not coming? Are you still coming? Like, or I can ring another person. Because if you're not coming like, fuck, that's annoying, but sure, at least you've told me and I can just do something else. How come Tony's couch cleaner can be there within the hour and you can't fucking return a phone call for three months?

Like, what's gone wrong? there. But I'm calling you being like, hey, like, is everything all good? Is someone still coming? Like,

if you're running, like shit happens. It's not about getting mad, but it's like, well, I'm not going to fuck. I'm right now a prisoner in my home waiting for you to rock up.

Well, I'm not because the door doesn't work. I wish I was a prisoner. Because I couldn't get the fucking door open. I wish I was in prison with a locked door. Yeah, I would, I would love,

I would love to be locked in here for safety purposes. I would love for my insurance to not be void because I can't technically love the door. Anyway, which is true. It is true. Your insurance is not valid if you have not done the means. Yeah. Turns out if someone tries to steal your car and you left your garage door open, that's sort of on you. Yeah.

Hate to victim blame, but I'm blaming you. Yeah. Yeah, they don't like getting that call, eh. Anyway, sorry to hear that about your plumber, Danielle. I'm right there with your girlfriend. Anyway, this guy actually turned up. He rocks up and he's so lovely and he looks at and he goes, oh, what, what do you want done? And I was like, well, this fabric couch, it's a, it's a four-seater couch and an ottoman.

I was like, I'd love for you to do that. And he goes, oh, the rug underneath it is probably going to get pretty wet. And I was like, can you just clean that as well? Then he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, that's fine. And I was like, oh, fuck yeah. He goes, oh, I reckon it's going to be about 450 bucks. And he goes, some of these stains are quite. Like, you know, I probably...

A couple good ones in there. He goes, I probably can't get it to 100%. But I can probably get it to 95%. Like this guy, he's just so sweet and he's like all over it. And I was like, great, bro. Like, that's awesome. And he goes, all I ask is that you give me a five star review. This is the beginning, right?

He's been in my house for about two minutes. What? No, what? No. Well, what? Can I just go to... I know. He, actually, here's the deal.

you do what I said and I give you the money. Because that's what I'm paying you for. This is the, the gig is that you're cleaning the thing. What if you do a shit job? I'll decide what review I give you after you've done it. After services rendered. Yeah.

Like, you know. Oh, here's the deal. Imagine if he was like, oh, would you mind paying me my tip now? And then I'll do it and then you pay the rest of the invoice. Like it was just. I'll do that for you if you give, no, no, you'll do it for me if I pay you. Because I,

Oh, you go, oh, if I give you a five-star review, I just won't pay it, but I'll pay you in the review. Sound good? Yeah. Is that fine? How do you like them apples? Well, so he goes, and you're just going to give me a five-star review, and I went, oh, yeah, no worries.

And he goes, no, like, you've got to give you my last review. Where was that other place where someone was on our fucking case about reviews? It was at that place where they were really nasty and I cried at the restaurant in Italy. Yeah. The guy was a, the waiter was a... I bawled my eyes out in the restaurant. ... cried in a restaurant because the guy was so mean. He asked, okay.

Hey, he thought it happened. And then he asks us for a five-star, it was like, have you met you? We sit there and there's 12 of us. He gives us all a menu. Two people order. They order it happen to, say Ryan goes, yeah, I'll get the spaghetti bolognese.

Then Danny goes, yeah, I'll get the knocky. The guy goes, he like rubs his temple. He goes, I can't have you all ordering something different. And we all went. What? What? And he goes,

you know, it's small restaurant. We can't be cooking 12 different dishes, is what he said. And we went, I don't think you know how a restaurant works. And we, and I just started to panic because I was like, oh my God, I really wanted yoki, but no one else is getting that. So I won't be able to get that now because that's not the thing. And then, yeah,

but then at the end, and then he didn't bring my food, remember? And he left off a bunch of our food, like, didn't bring a bunch of stuff over. And then at the end... How about you just say a bunch of meals and I'll just bring you whatever the fuck I want? And then at the end, he goes, we'll give you a fucking review mate. We didn't because we're not assholes.

But anyway, so this guy... We should have been. We should have warned future people. I don't review. No, but it's... Anyway, the circular economy of reviewing, if you re-reviews, you should leave them, and I do firmly agree with that.

But I'm not going to just give you a review because you asked for one. You got to earn it. Well, I will give you a slight review if you fucking slay this thing. He did a really great job of my couch. I hope. He hasn't done it yet, but I agreed to this.

Do you know what? Like... Five stars. It's like when you order something online, then you get the email like, please review this product. Well, swear how I've just hit order. It hasn't arrived yet. I can review it now if you want. Like, oh, like website was easy to use.

Oh, it goes zero out of five has not arrived. Hasn't arrived yet. We'll be talking to customer compliance. Anyway, so he goes, yeah, you go leave me five-stop review. I was like, bro, of course. Yeah. And then he goes, yeah, but seriously. And I was like, oh.

How about you give me five-star job and I'll give you a five-star review? And apart of that. He was really nice. I don't think so. This is not being nice. Well, like if he was, for example, 80% nice and 20% on the review, that equals about a four stars.

And you go, okay, well, this is still a good job. This is coming off your review. Yeah. Three stars. Great at cleaning. Lost two stars for being a fucking. Bettside manner, not that good. Yeah.

Yeah. Anyway, and I was just like, yeah, I'll leave you a rib. He goes, oh, well, actually, like, if I get a certain amount of, right now I'm just an employee, but if I get a certain amount of five-star reviews, they make me a manager. And I go, oh, okay, cool. And he goes, so it's actually really important. And I was like, bro, so fine.

Like, can you please start cleaning my couch? But like, I'm happy to do the review. Like, yeah, it's fine. The cum is drying, sir. There was no cum. There was no cum. Anyway, it might have been a little bit of cum. Anyway.

No, but if he's like, is it an emergency, what? So you can hurry up and hustle me? Like, is your five stars an emergency? And you're giving me the, like, be all about the thing. Anyway, so he does the thing. He's actually really efficient, really quick, does an excellent job. Great.

And I go, yeah, but you're already hustled me about the review. And now I want to leave you a good review, but because you've done a good, not just because you asked me to. You know what I mean? Yeah. And then, so he's kind of finishing up and I was up the other end of the house, like with Pippa, but Torbs was out there, like, trying to fix up the bench seat, like reattaching the things.

And he was out there kind of at the same time. He held the rug down for the guy while he was cleaning it and whatever. So he was out there kind of cross-up. Did you get Tobs review? Well, so after he's hustled me and shaken me down and kind of give me the what-for about the review, he starts talking to Torbs and goes like, oh, well, yeah, you've, like, if you're seeing how hard I'm like, please leave me a good review. And Torbs goes, oh, yeah, yeah, you spoke like to Tony, like, yeah, that's fine.

And he goes, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay, anyway. Was he trying to get a double review? Yeah. Trying to get two-fives out of you. So what happened in the end? Come back and do the fucking mattress then, Slot. He finishes the job. And he goes, don't forget about that five-star review.

And I go, oh, yeah. And he goes, can you do it now and send me the screenshot? No. And I was like, wha. So I don't like that at all. I write the review. I send him a, like, text him a screenshot. And it is a glowing review.

Did you say it would be a great manager one day? It's a very good review. I can read you what I wrote. Please. Because I was a bit like, okay, let's like, let's get this moving. Sam was so wonderful, arrived at our house within an hour with a massive smile and can-do attitude. Our couch and rug were filthy, but he managed to get them looking perfect. Sam was super efficient and very kind, would recommend to anyone.

Tony Lodge, zero prior reviews. Can people go to Apple and give us a review, but in the review? No, we can't hustle for reviews. We're complaining about that. No, but in there, just mention how good the carpet cleaning was. Carpet cleaning, excellent. She's going to love the podcast also. Very little cum.

Love the podcast also. Carpet very clean. Five stars. Five stars. I'll read them out next week. That's your homework. So I've read the, I've written this review and he goes, yeah, just send me the screenshot and I go, fucking hell, dude.

Like, lay off. Yeah. Anyway, and then I was like, cool, how do you want me to pay? Do you need cash? Like, what do you? And he goes, oh, you. you can do bank transfer, pay ID or something else. And I was like, oh, can you just send me an invoice?

Like, and I'll just do like online pay it, whatever. And he goes, oh, you can enter your credit card information on my phone. I was like, well, I'm not doing that. Yeah. Because that's a scam. Yeah. And then he goes, oh, can you do pay ID? And Torbs goes, I've got pay ID.

I'll do it. And then he goes, oh, well, whoever's paying needs to leave the review. But I've already done the review. And then Torbs goes, oh, I've got. I think it's fine. And then he goes, no, no, no, no. They'll match it up. Yeah.

Because heaven forbid, I don't get my boys to. So then he goes to Torbs like, oh, you'll have to leave a review as well. And Torbs like, okay, cool. Let me pay and then I'll do it after you go. And he goes, all right. And so Torbs pays. And then he's like standing there. And the guys are, all good.

And he goes, have you written the review yet? And Torbs goes, oh. Have the couch. I don't care anymore. Tobs goes, oh, let me rise on me. He goes, I can do a video if you want. And starts filming in our house. The fuck?

I know. Oh, yeah, he was great. Well, Torbs goes, oh, I'm actually not really a video person. He goes, that's all right. You look great. What the fuck. I just wouldn't not take no for an answer. And Torbs goes, oh, please don't film me.

Like, it was respect. It wasn't like, get the fucking cat. He was just like, Torbs goes, please don't film me. And the guy goes, oh, okay, puts his front on his pocket. And then Torbs goes, but I'll leave your review. Like, it's all good. The guy leaves.

Two minutes later, our ring doorbell goes off. And he's standing at the door. And he goes, I just wanted to, you haven't sent the screenshot through the review yet. I'm furious. Like, ethically. Can you take your review off? Ethically, you can't hustle for two reviews for the same job.

I stand by that. Second of all, that's the issue. You cannot hold a gun to my head. And like, it was just so uncomfortable. It was like the most insane. And this guy was in our house and I was just like, I like, but when he started filming Torbs,

I was like, I've been on deal or no deal. And I know how this works. No deal. That's fucking crazy. It was. It was. And I am not adding any amount.

Genuinely like this guy was standing in the thing being like, where's the review? And then he was standing at the door. and towards us like, bro, like, I've got something to say. Okay, so I'm going to have some tea because I'm just so overwhelmed. I think we all are. That's stress. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

Thank you so much. Earlier on this episode, we gassed this guy up because he was able to arrive on time. He could come within an hour. I, after hearing that, I would prefer that didn't show up. Didn't come at all. I would prefer to be going. ghosted and not text. That is, that's almost like I'm calling your company.

Because I've been ghosted by so many traitors. I just was so excitedly turned up. No. Do you know what? Yeah. I would, I almost gave him a five star review just for coming. Yeah.

Because I was like, well, yeah, fucking miles ahead of any other tradie that I've had try and come to this house the last few weeks. But as it is almost to the point where it's like, I need to call your boss and tell him this is unacceptable behavior. But I, because I reckon like, adding. And also, you've created. this mechanism of reviews. I'm like,

you've created this problem by putting too much pressure on the reviews. The reviews being, because this guy doesn't really care about, but if his bonus or a promotion is tied to that, like, but it was really intense. And these guys are,

I could be a manager. I was like, and I won that for you. You've come and done the one job. I'm paying you the money, plus I'm giving you the review. Like, you can't be asking for two reviews for the same job.

You can't be asking for two reviews. Ethically, that's a double dip. And you can't. Can I throw a fucking business management curveball layer? Yes. MBA coming in clutch. Just because you're really good at cleaning couches.

Which he was. He did an excellent job. Does not mean at all that you would be a good manager. Yeah, I wouldn't. And I'm good at neither. No, but like it's two separate skills. Yeah. If I get good at this, then I can do that other thing.

well, and that's up to me? Yeah, and I just met you. Yeah, what if you don't like being a manager? And then you come back to my house and you go, it's your fault, you left me three reviews. Yeah, I forced into a promotion. I didn't want. He goes, oh, can you review each seat of the couch and the Ottoman and the rug separately?

Can Pippa leave a review? He's like, yeah, she got a phone? Yeah. Four stars. He goes, your neighbours need anything? Michael Jordan's fine, thank you. Yeah, Michael Jordan's couch is not covered in common drug door. This has been a stressful episode.

I'm really sorry, it wasn't supposed to be stressful, but ethically, I was like, where do we stand on this? Because I just think it's no Bueno. Well, it can't be. But there's the issue of the multiple ones. But then there's the issue just of that. For me, it's the hustling. Like, fuck off.

Yeah. I'll give you a good review if you deserve it. And I was like, because you know, in the, at the beginning, when he said, oh, and you just have to give me a good review, I thought he was just kind of like being cheeky and fun. No, that don't fuck around. But no, but you know, when they go, oh, and just leave me a good review. And I was like, of course.

Yeah. That's fine. Five start driving. You know, but then we get to. the third, fourth ask about the review and then the second hustle and the video and the, you know, I felt like I was just like overwhelmed. Here's some advice for next time. When they ask the second time, you go, love that.

Definitely going to give you a five star review. Every time you ask me, I'm dropping a star. Perfect. And he goes, could you, and you go, oh, wouldn't want to drop to a four. There's a star risk. Because it sounded like you were about to ask for a review again. and I would hate for you to drop down to a fall. And he goes, yeah, and I go,

because the thing was, like, I agreed to it. It's not as if I'm trying to get and go like, I don't want to support your business. I'm not going to give you a review. I said I would. This is the whole thing. I'm actually reinventing the wheel. Okay.

Us as consumers, we need to design our own, like, ranking system. And so when they rock up, you go, this is how I judge stars in this house. my God. One star equals this. Yep. Two star equals this.

Four stars, the way to earn four stars is to do a five star job and keep asking about a review. Three stars means efficient, kind of on time, kind of did a good job. All you need to do for five is do what I paid you for. Turn up on time and fuck off. And not ask me lots of times. So actually, you, sir, can decide what review you're going to get by. Yeah. By looking at my chart.

The answers here. The rubric of the... The answers to the quiz are provided in advance. But it was just that he asked. I said, absolutely bro. Like, I understand that reviews are important. This is not, you know. No one's saying you're not getting a review.

I promise you you will get one. And, you know, you've got to fling a five star out at willy-nilly these days. Or, you know, you drop a four and Pete, that's the end. I'm going to leave a review of mine. No No you pass me No you give me this information I won't

I got a love to see me I won't he wants to be a manager Yeah and he'll fucking find out Um Got a yeah I love to Sorry everyone We're shaking that off We're shaking that off

You love to see it from A Louise Hi Alawyze Last year I ended an 11 year relationship with a man Whoa 11 years Fuck that's a long time Hey

Last week I went to my first Pride event With my new girlfriend It's like, oh my God. She said it feels strange to say I felt proud at a Pride event because like, hey, it does what it says on the tin. But it does what it says on the tin. So, Eloise, get it. And that is what Pride is all about.

Yep. That's amazing, Louise. Eloise, I will give that you love to see it. Five star review. Six, six stars. And because you didn't ask us to review it at all. I've got also a lovely, you love to see here from Nick Pace. Pacey.

Tap her in the wards. wild story. So Nick said since the start of the year, I've been donating plasma regularly. Nice. I previously was ineligible due to being same-sex attracted, but the new gender neutral assessment rules has opened it up for so many of us. Fucking, not a minute too soon on that, by the way. Like, as if it took that long, but thank God.

Thank you, Nick, for blazing the fucking flag we love to say. But really amazing. Nick said, a couple of donations ago, the person at the check-in counter said, oh my God, I'm a TARPA too, because they saw that Nick was part of the Tapa blood donations group at the Red Cross. Isn't that so amazing? Nick said, I walked in today for my 10th plasma donation since January. So what's that in six months? Ten in six months.

You fucking won't have any left to give, mate. And the same person was there checking them in and said, oh my God, you're the Tony and Ryan donor. And they chatted about that. Isn't that amazing? Yes. Nick says I was already pumped about my donation milestone, but being called that topped it off, like being like, oh, you're a tarpa. Good on your pacey. Nick said, it made my day and you love to see it. I love to see that. Isn't that amazing? I will give your plasma donation efforts five stars.

So there's, because there's a tarp life blood team that we talked about before. If you want to join it, you can. And you can see the progress of the crew. How much tarp blood has been gifted. You can also be a part of the tarp Strava, which I know nothing about because I've never ran. I think it's called Tape Athletes or Athletes of Tape or something. Yep. And with three days to go until my 10K run. Which I'm going to slay. We're so excited.

The Strava. My first entry will be the 10Ks. Yes. First and possibly last. So hard. That would be amazing. But I do love to see Taupers in the wild and thanks for sharing that with this. Thank you.

Love it. Now, tomorrow on the show, speaking of the running event, Tony and I have prepared some pickup lines. if you want to try and hook up with Charles at the running event this weekend. Yes. I will be using them. Or just any pick up lines you can use on people running or at a running event. Is that fair to say?

Yeah, things you can say in the bedroom and also while running. Yep. Is the angle that I went? Great. Just like... Two separate segments tomorrow. Happening at the same time. All right, we'll chatty then.

Love you, bye.