Toni and Ryan - Caught On Camera

Episode Date: February 5, 2024

The hottest confession ever (plus bonus live brainstorm). Love you!!! xxoxoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge and we are about to call Jen who is in Sydney. Oh, Jen in Sydney. And you guys might have something in common. Do I know Jen? Hello? Jen! It's Tony and Ryan. How you doing? Hi. Sorry guys. I'm just hiding away in the office.

Oh. You're a worker already? That's very impressive. Yeah, I had an early start. Got a few meetings today, but I've just hidden in what looks like a little Superman phone booth just to get away from everyone. Those little single-use ones? Those little co-working spaces.

Yeah. Are they actually soundproof? I mean, I hear people in them, but you don't hear full conversations. It's just like someone's got a cloth over their mouth and you hear that. Oh, so they're for hostages. It's for what? For hostages. You just keep people in there.

You can't hear what they're saying. I thought it was for Tony just doing workplace blowjobs off the side of the thing. No, only one person fits in there. My mistake. my mistake. Now, Jen, are those important meetings you've got today about maybe a second book for Tony Lodge? I knew you guys were going to think that I'm in book publishing, but it's not.

It's a trick name. It's actually marketing. So it's online marketing, kind of work within retail space. Oh, because it said a publishing manager. And I went, oh. Yeah. Yeah, I was going to hit you up for a job. Yeah. That's right.

Sorry, guys. Just one book's fine. Jen, will you approve today's podcast? Abso-fucking-lutely. Yes. Publish that. Hey, it's Jen from Sydney, and I absolutely approve this podcast. Yeah. Hey, it's Jen from Sydney and I absolutely approve this podcast.

Happy New Year, everyone. Coming up today. What is the oddest thing that has been requested when you've started a new job? thing that has been requested when you've started a new job. So, you know, it's like that new, like new territory, but it's that new dynamic. Is it like, I don't want to say courting phase because I'm not quite the word, but you're figuring them out, they're figuring you out. What are they?

Are we friends? Do we say that thing? Do we? Yeah. Are we professional here? Yeah. Like, oh, is it cool if I I go and get a coffee or not yet? Yeah.

Or if you say you're going for a coffee, do I go, I'll come with you. Like, are we there yet? Are we there? Things like that. Yeah. Sorry if we've just given people a million new things to be anxious about. I'm all right. I'm anxious about those things.

That's coming up soon. Is that why you never come for coffee with me? Yeah. I don't know if I'm invited. Am I allowed to go with the boss? Well, I said once, Tony, have you been to a music festival? And Tony said, I've never been invited. You know exactly what I meant.

You know exactly what I meant. I know that this is a funny thing to say, but you know that I meant like, oh, I've never been asked to go with a crew of people because I wouldn't. You can, but I wouldn't go by myself. But did you think to like, oh, that looks fun. I'll get a ticket and go, hey, do you guys want to come? No. because I wouldn't. You can. But I wouldn't go by myself. But did you think to like, oh, that looks fun. I'll get a ticket and go, hey, do you guys want to come? No.

Never in my life. For there to be invitees in this world, there needs to be inviters. That's beautiful. Write that down. Is quotable John back? Sounds like it. Yeah. Not me, obviously.

Quotable John. That sounds awful. That's dull men's club energy. Yeah, that is dull. It's like, oh, Quotable John, see, got any things to quote today? Oh, Quotable John. That sounds like a bad segment from a TV show or something. Yeah, in the 60s. Yeah.

Oh, it's time for Quotable John. Oh, Quotable John. Yeah. We should do that. Tell us in the episode thread if we should actually do that. We're not. I'll tell you right now. It's not happening.

I can see into the future and it's a no. But first, these are top confessions. Top confessions, Tony and Ryan podcast confessions. Frustratingly anonymous. We get them. People can submit them through our website, TonyandRyan.com.au. And we actually can't get back to you. Because they're anonymous.

They're anonymous. So we can't follow you up. So if you're like saying anything crazy, we genuinely can't find you or know who you are. Yep. TonyandRyan.com.au to submit yours. Confession. I banged my boyfriend at his work and we didn't realise there were cameras.

He was working the night shift as a security guard on a construction site. She's dating Paul Blart. Yeah. Actually, I want that to be stricken for the record because shit's about to get real sexy and I don't want to be picturing Kevin James. Okay. That's your choice. No, but like you'll hear this and his face will ruin it.

You know what I mean when he's like. Yeah, but. That's not what you want to see. You know how yesterday I said we now pronounce you Chuck and Larry? Yeah. Why has Kevin James come up twice in two days? Six Degrees with Kevin James. Yeah.

Kevin James can. Oh, I saw a thing of him the other day. Of Kevin James. It's the thing. I'm in threes. Because he's like. You can come in my. Sorry. Can I do the confession?

Yeah. Kevin James says. He was working the night shift at security on a construction site. So as a good girlfriend does, I rocked up to give him a snack and a blow job. Oh, hot. Yeah. Nice. Nice.

Marry this girl. Yeah. Girlfriend.job. Oh, hot. Yeah, nice. Nice? Fuck, marry this girl. Yeah, girlfriend. Yeah, fiance that shit. Yeah, yeah. He's a gentleman, so he returned the favor before picking me up, spinning me around and bending me over on a toolbox. See what I mean about the Kevin James thing? Wow.

Show you my toolbox. Show you my Kevin James. Show you my... Yeah, anyway. I was moaning loudly and screaming his name as it was one of the most exhilarating sexual encounters of my life. Hot. Really hot. The sex in public thing, I mean, wow.

Well, we know your stance on it. I'm not allowed. Yeah. You've tried to get talked to fucking in a public bathroom. I have tried,. Well, we know your stance on it. I'm not allowed. Yeah. You've tried to get talked to fucking in a public bathroom. I have tried, yeah, and he just won't do it. Whenever we go anywhere, I'm like, do you want a fucking bathroom? He goes, Tony Louise. And then I go, okay.

So that's when he uses your name. It's a no again. Yeah. Tony Felicia Louise. No. Yep. I'll get him one day. The next evening, his boss pulled him aside.

Pulled him off. Yeah. When I saw the word pulled, I was like fucking right. The next evening, his boss pulled him aside and showed him a video of me getting absolutely railed the night before. In the video, he's doing me from behind and we're both facing away from the camera. So he says to the boss, well, you can't see our faces. Like, you know, could have been anyone.

That could be anyone's little bum. Yep. Our face is like, you know, could have been anyone. That could be anyone's little bum. Yep. His boss then turns the volume up so loud that he can hear me screaming his name. So when he goes, how do you know it's me? That could be anyone.

There's heaps of Tony Louises in this town. Ironically, he then got an oral warning. And his boss reminded him that any future guests Ironically, he then got an oral warning and his hive. Sorry. And his boss reminded him that any future guests need to sign in and wear the compulsory high-vis vest. With nothing else. Is that a thing I like? Just wear the vest on its own and a hard hat, yeah, for protection.

Yeah. Yeah. Never go in dry. Oh, fuck. Yeah. Are you okay? Oh, things are happening. That's really like a sexy story.

You know how I said that I don't mind a sexy story versus like porn sometimes? Right. That is pretty hot. That's a hot story. That's like a story you'd read in the Cleo Sealed section. Flex. Yeah. Should we start a new section of, fuck me,

a new section of confessions and it's just like, tell us your hottest story. We have to like put all stickers on the podcast that's like explicit. It already has to be because I say fuck all the time. Well, first of all, wash that dirty little mouth out. And second of all, I'm open to it. I actually think that'd be really, like, and because it's less of a confession because there doesn't have

to be a punchline of, like, getting caught, but just a hot fucking story. I would actually like to hear some feedback in the episode thread because I know a lot of people are now, which is fucking not recommended, but, like, listening with the kids in the car on the way to school drop off. Okay. Question. What if we did that, but we read them and it was only on YouTube and it wasn't on the

pod and then people could like watch it at nighttime. I'm open to that. But I think, yeah, first of all, yes. Second of all, are we then attracting a different kind of crowd who then when we do it. Everyone's welcome. But then they'll cop another one of our videos and go, oh, this is what I. Yeah.

Oh, and then my dog was a super dog from the bin. You know, it's like not the same vibe. No, I think having a varied palette is a. Yeah. Yeah. I like that word for me as well. Varied palette. Tell you what I like on my palette.

Let us know if you like the idea of the sexiest. I think that'd be hot. Yeah. Except we'd have to fucking just be covered in cold water the whole time. Well, here's the thing. We're going to get all these submissions. And we're going to sit like someone is going to have to sit there to decide which ones go to air. And someone is probably going to be struggling to walk around the office.

Phoebe. struggling to walk around the office. Phoebe. Phoebe. Ironically, get a tarp tarp and put it down. Phoebe's like, I'm going to work from home today. Well, thanks for working over the weekend, Phoebe. You seem to have logged into Slack at 2am. The emails are empty. She goes, hey, guys, all the weekend, Phoebe. You seem to have logged into Slack at 2am. The emails are empty.

She goes, hey, guys, all the things have been read. I go, yeah, I did it. Don't worry. I've done the job already. That's a pretty hot idea, though. Live brainstorm, but in the episode thread. Would it be a bonus episode that has. Bonus episode.

But actually. Yes. But it's on YouTube and then it's hot. Okay. It could be animated. Sketchy Ant could do it. Sketchy Ant's like a cuteness employee. It's quite cute.

Yeah, I know. Anyway, okay. Hey, Sketchy Ant, thanks for those great animations. Can you just draw Tony getting railed by a construction worker? I don't want to be in it. Oh. I would really like my likeness to not be put into that. Oh, okay.

Which is fine. Do you want your face put on the? Because you know how in the, because Sketchy Ant puts our faces onto all characters. Our faces into the situations, yeah. Okay, no, okay. So we're off that. We're off that idea.

We're off that idea and that's fine. Let us know your ideas and we'll try and workshop that because I reckon that'd be really fun. Should we push on with a confession? Yes. I don't know if I can handle another one. Is this one hot too? No, it's not.

This will cool you right down. Oh, good. It's pretty fucked. So I'm just going to have to take a moment here. Okay. I accidentally shat into the air and across the room and when confronted, I blamed my cat. I was running a bath and knocked the shampoo bottle over.

I bent over to pick it up and went to fart and as I did, bent over. The poo popped out. Little poo pop, right across the bathroom. Shot across the floor. The other day I went to do a wee and I was like halfway down and I sneezed and I just pissed all over the floor. Because like none of my like pelvic floor was engaged because I was like

sitting down and I sneezed and I just pissed everywhere. And it was so bad. I've never heard. And I was wearing shoes and socks and I had to go put them in the washing machine. I've never heard someone tell so many pregnant lady piss myself stories who hasn't been pregnant. Yeah, and that's just my life. Yeah, welcome.

Perpetually just in the way all the time. Yeah. My toilet and bathroom are separate. You know how some have a separate toilet? Oh, no. Yeah. I ran to grab some toilet paper and some cleaning spray when I heard footsteps coming up the stairs.

It turns out my mum had got home. I panicked, covered myself in a towel, locked and looked around, saw the cat there and went, oh, no, Simba, he's pooed on the floor. But a human poo is just not the same size as a cat poo. Well, he said it was like a little nug that just popped across the room. No, go off. It's not like a full girthy human piece of excrement.

Not like a diving toy. Yeah, no. Mum reached the top of the stairs and my cat just stands there giving me the side eye and I say to mum, oh, the cat shat on the floor. Mum spent the rest of the night pampering the cat. Oh, there must have been something wrong because he never normally does this. I wish I told the truth now. Maybe I would have got the special treatment from mum.

Surely you would just like ignore the poo until whoever it was left, like your mum left. If there's poop on the floor and someone's about to walk, I don't think there's any ignoring. But if you're in the bathroom, why would someone walk in? Well, because he was in between the two of them, like it must be like the flight, like the top of the landing. And he's got the, you know, he's like panicking and looking around.

So there wasn't an opportunity to just like shut the door and be like, I can deal with this internally. Well, not internally, but you know. Quite the opposite. He probably wishes he was dealing with it internally. I think he went like out of the bathroom into the toilet to get like some toilet paper and some spray and whatever and found himself mid-room. Okay.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Because I'm like, just shut the door and then don't tell anyone that anyone pooed on the floor. And just waffle stomp it or what would you do? No, no, no, no. And then just wait for the other person to go downstairs and then you't tell anyone that anyone pooed on the floor. And just waffle stomp it or what would you do? No, no, no, no. And then just wait for the other person to go downstairs and then you do the quick dash. Yeah.

Or a towel. I mean, you're a fan of that. Clean that shit up with a towel. I know it's been years, but it's probably still too soon. Okay. That's good to know. Yeah, okay. Just setting the boundaries.

That's where we're at. That's where we're at. Yeah, I'll just do a little vibe check every now and then. Thank you. Thank you very much. Tonyandryan.com.au is where you can submit your confessions. So if you've pooed on the floor, we want to hear about it. Thank you.

Hey, it's Jen from Sydney and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. You can check it out. All the links are in our show notes. And next Monday we're going to do a little Super Bowl pre-show. Yep. We're pumped. Do we want to do a pre-show or post-show?

Or is post-show everyone else is drunk and going to bed overseas? I reckon. And because it's actually not on until like 10.30 in Australia. It goes all day. Well, yeah, a post-show would be like 5pm. Yeah, no. And I'm asleep by then. Yeah, it's too late. Okay, pre-show, pre-show.

I think pre-show is fun because it's like, oh, you could watch that in the background while you were getting your snacks ready for the day or whatever. Isn't it normally in Australia, or is this my WA brain, isn't it normally on at like 4 a.m.? That's WA. Okay. Over here like every week.

I think it starts at like 10.30 this year. The Super Bowl is 10.30, but like games during the year can be 7 a.m., whatever. Right. Which it's always convenient because the halftime show often drops around lunchtime. So a lot of offices will go, oh, lunch break. Oh, should we just flick on the Super Bowl and watch the halftime show?

And drive shows are like, oh, don't put anything in yet until we see what happens. Don't fill out the run sheet. We've got to see if there's an exposed nip or what ads are running. And if you watch our pre-show, there'll be plenty to talk about. That's what we're hearing. That's what I'm hearing. Jessica Sims, hopefully you'll be watching.

Caitlin Olly, good on you, Caitlin. Kelsey Garland, might be related to Judy Garland, another celebrity tapper. And Lainey Jane, good on you guys. Thank you. Oh, that might be Lani, actually. Sorry, Lani, if it's Lani. But sorry, Lani, if it's Lani.

LJ, nice. You love to say that. Are we going to do it from your place next week? Yeah, I reckon. Yeah, okay. Because we can set up in the kitchen like we did for the baking. Yeah, my house is no good because of the internet. Your internet can fucking.

Boring podcast stat, but can someone let me know in the episode thread if Starlink is worth it? I don't want to get bogged down in boring shit, but is it worth it? Because I want to know because I think I'm going to do it. Well, I would pay for your internet if it meant it would be better. Like, I will pay the bill. Oh, I thought you were going to say I'd pay so you could stop hearing about it. Oh, both.

But I want it to work for you. Yeah, thank you. Sometimes when we're on FaceTime it goes all glitchy and I can't see Mabel. Yeah. Tony and I were FaceTiming last night with our daughters. So I had Mabel on my lap and shared Pippa on her lap. And Pippa was like looking at Mabel and Mabel was looking at Pippa like this. It was very cute.

Yeah, they didn't understand where they stood in the pecking order with each other. They're both just going to be best friends. Yeah, that's what I thought. So, okay, so next week at your house. At my house. And funny that my house would come up again because, well, last week we talked about something that we glossed over that I just thought was fine and I hadn't really thought about and I hadn't consulted

with our team members about. But we got some messages about this and I feel like we need to open it up. Because. Are we in trouble? Well, last week we talked about backing in your own nickname and I told the story about how when Phoebe and James, our team members, came over to help with another live stream that we did that they met my partner Torbs because he was working

from home. And I mentioned, obviously, that Phoebe and James were at my personal home at 7am so that we could do this live stream. We glossed over it. But, like, people were like, oh, so they were, like, at their boss's house early in the morning? So is it not normal to be at your boss's house and see your boss's boyfriend in his boxer shorts making a coffee at 7am?

No, he was not in his boxers. He was clothed. Eventually. He goes, oh, hey, let me put some shorts on. No, no, no, no. He was clothed. I can absolutely attest to that, Your Honour. So are people saying that's not kosher?

Well, not that it's not kosher, but just like, oh, that's an interesting dynamic, I guess. But, like, when you work in, I mean. Did you guys feel power played? Yeah, actually, let me ask you guys. I felt it was cool. Like, I felt like where else do you, it is unusual, but in a cool way, like, to me.

You thought it was cool? Okay, Phoebe. What about you, it is unusual, but in a cool way. Okay. That's not, you thought it was cool. What about you, Phoebe? No, I've, cause I've been working kind of with comedians for a while. Yeah. And now she works with us. What a fall from grace. Well, up until now. Why the career change?

Oh, that is funny. I am a comedian, which makes the joke doesn't work anymore. Fuck. Yes, Phoebe, go. It'll be our last day today. If the joke doesn't work anymore, does that mean it does then? Oh, that's a, you know what I'm saying? It's like Ouroboros, that snake.

Yeah. The snake that eats its own tail. Yeah. I went to sushi train the other day. Sorry, it just reminded me because it loops around. Fuck, that's good. Anyway, yeah, Phoebe, did you? I was just saying up until now I haven't really had an office.

I've only been working out of technically my boss's house. Yeah, we provide for our team. Yeah, a literal table. Yeah, they are welcomed to my personal home. But because I also, similar to Phoebe actually, like working in media, I'm going to say that even though it sounds a bit weird, when I worked in radio, when I was working on Jason PJ, I'd say about three weeks into it, we were doing this arc

where we went to Jason's son's birthday party. Right. And it was posted at his home. And we went and like filmed all this stuff. And it was fine. Yeah.. And we went and, like, filmed all this stuff. And it was fine? Yeah. But at the time, I was like, a bit like what James said. I was like, wow, I'm at the talent's house.

And so I felt a bit like, wow, I'm really on the team. And so I didn't consider it odd that you guys were at my house at all. That's how I felt the first time I went to your house. Is it at Kathy Bates' Airbnb? No. Is Kathy going to be here? No, like, back when we worked at Kiss. And then you were like, do you and Bridget want to come over for dinner?

And I was like, a celebrity. Oh, fuck off. Yeah. And then, do you think the first night that we went from like knowing each other to like friends, friends was when we went to like Jane's house and Sam's house and like had a couple of cans? Yeah. Like that's how it kind of goes from like acquaintance to like, well, that went from zero to like that.

That went from zero to about 5,000. Yeah. I went to have one beer at 9 o'clock and got home 15 hours later. That was old, Ryan. We Ubered home together, I'm pretty sure. Me, you, Torbs and PJ, I think all Ubered back to my house. Yeah, wow. All Ubered back to my house.

We were like, we'll kick on. And it was like 4 a.m. already. And it took that long to get an Uber that everyone was like, I think I'med back to my house. We were like, we'll kick on. And it was like 4 a.m. already. We didn't. And it took that long to get an Uber that everyone was like, I think I'm just going to go home. I think we fell asleep in the back of the car. How much did we absolutely fuck those neighbours off? First of all, yes.

Oh, we climbed onto someone. This is old Tony and Ryan. We climbed onto someone's roof because somebody else who didn't live there is like, no, we do it all the time. We didn't know who lived there. Yeah, it turns out they didn't do it all the time. They didn't do it all the time and they didn't live there is like, no, we do it all the time. We didn't know who lived there. Yeah. It turns out they didn't do it all the time. They didn't do it all the time and they didn't live there

so they had no idea. So they go, oh, like the apartment next door has got a sick rooftop. You can climb up through that way. And we went, okay. Okay. And it was like a Bailey ladder. Like, you know, the A-frame ladders like that are like up, up, up, down. They had it in the up, up position, up onto the roof,

and we just all went up there. That is not me. I don't climb on roofs. Anyway, and we get up there, and the people who live next door were like, get the fuck out. And we were like, someone told us this was cool. He's like, I fucking live here. You're on my roof.

Get off it. Yeah, that was probably the time when we went from, like, colleagues to friends. Did we? We weren't even working together then. Like, oh, sorry, we worked together, like, at Kiss. Yeah. Separate teams, though.

Yeah. Random one. Did we both sucker each other into thinking the other one was, like, a partier? Maybe. Because we were both out partying, like, oh, Tony's fun. She, like, goes out and parties. And you're like, oh, Ryan's giving it a crack tonight.

And I remember on the Friday, like, bumping into you in the kitchen and being like, oh, Tony's fun. She goes out and parties. And you're like, oh, Ryan's giving it a crack tonight. And I remember on the Friday, like bumping into you in the kitchen and being like, oh, bro, going to be a big one. You went, oh, yeah. And I was like, oh, okay, cool. But you thought that I was doing that, so we both went, oh, okay, cool. Just egged each other on for 17 hours. Yeah. A bit of pressure.

Anyway, well, look at us now. Look at us now. Yeah, don't do anything. Look at us now. But anyway, so I didn't think that the coming to my house thing was weird, but a few people were like, oh, not that it's weird and, like, not okay. But, oh, sorry, you go ahead. Do you remember Sam?

You worked for Sam Fotu? Yes. So Sam Fotu was an old radio boss who we both worked for at different times. Yes. In Bunbury. Yeah, and I got invited to his 40th birthday party. And he had the sickest house. Yeah. I wasth birthday party. And he had the sickest house. Yeah.

I was never invited there, but he had the sickest house. But that was the thing. It was like a few people from work that you couldn't invite everyone from work, but a few people got the call up and stuff. Fuck. Yeah. And then, so I was with my roommate Redders and he, so he was my plus one. And, um.

And someone from work, which is probably so uncomfortable. And I just went, Hey, um, it's the boss's house. So like. Keep it cool. Let's be cool. Let's like. We can go home and have a slab, but let's be cool while we're there. Let's go and have one or two drinks, shake hands, happy birthday, mingle.

And then like, let's just be on our best behavior. It's literally our boss. Yeah. And Redis goes, yeah, cool. I've got a trick to show everyone. And I went, no, that's literally. It's not a time for tricks. It's not a time for tricks. It's not a time for tricks.

And he goes, nah, it's like a bit of an icebreaker because there'll be people there we don't know. You know, he goes, I'll just do this. And I'm like, fuck. Like, and like, I don't know. He just had already decided that he was going to do this trick and I didn't even really know what it was. So we get there and they go, hey guys, thanks for coming. Oh, happy birthday.

Oh, thanks so much for inviting us in. Did you take a gift? Phoebe brought a gift to my house. Really? What was it? A huge bunch of flowers and passion fruits. That's a nice gift. The flowers are still going, by the way.

How about the passion fruits? Passion fruits have been eaten. Put them on some yogis. I was going to say, put that in ice cream. Fuck yeah. Yogurt. I did. Yeah.

You knew me. So Redders gets there and he goes, hey, everyone, I'm going to show you a trick. I'm going to show you how I open these two bottles of beer, only using each other, like hitting the tops of the beer into each other and like cracking the lids off. So it's, you know, safe. Well, you say that.

And he goes. No, not safe at all. Two glasses of glass. Not only is it not safe. Two glasses of glass. You know what I'm saying? Not only is it not safe, he just goes, all, not safe at all. Two glasses of glass. Not only is it not safe. Two glasses of glass. You know what I'm saying? Not only is it not safe, he just goes, all right, here we go. Shattered both bottles in his hands and cut his hands open.

And there wasn't just bleeding, like blood coming out, but it was blood squirting across Sam Fotu's kitchen. Like on the tiles and the fucking backsplash and all this stuff. Karina wouldn't have been happy about that. She wasn't happy about that. And it was just, we literally, it was his first drink of the night. So he didn't even get to sip his first drink. And I remember calling Bridget like not that late going, so we're in the hospital.

Cause I went with him in the ambulance. Yeah. Um, oh, hang on. How did I get there? Paramedic car. And, um, and so the whole chat of Sam Fotu's thing was, why is there blood in the kitchen? Was someone murdered? What happened to Redders?

Because it probably looked pretty bad. Where's Ryan? What happened? And it's like, oh, sorry to take the shine off your big night. We barely got in the front door. Oh. Well, as horrible as that is, Phoebe actually barely got in the front door at my house as well.

Why? Did you have a trick? Well, so you guys were all due at my house at 7am so that we could set up and then be live at 8 o'clock or whatever. And I don't know if Phoebe knows this, but we have a ring doorbell. Did you know that, Phoebe? No. Oh, shame, shame, shame, shame.

And so, like, I don't know if people know how ringtone bells work, but, like, as soon as there's motion out the front, it, like, gives us a little notification and so that we know someone's out the front. It's really handy for, like, posties and stuff. Well, so if I come, in theory, I don't have to knock the door because you probably know anyway. Yeah.

So my phone's already like, so while normally while I'm at work. Yeah, your phone's fucking buzzing off a storm. All day there'll be, there'll be like, if it's a, um, towards us coming and going or whatever, I'll like know because it pops up like there's someone at the door. And so it's like before seven o'clock and I was already up because I was like, I need to be awake by the time you guys get here. So I was already up, so that's fine.

But the way that a ring doorbell works is that it gives you a notification when there's like motion out the front. What were you doing? Well, it was just that she walked to a point and then just stopped. That sounds like a horror film. Someone walks down your driveway and just arms down. So she's standing like right by my car. Because Phoebe's got Tony energy.

Was it like 6.58 and you went, I'm early. I can't go in. I'll just stand here. Tell Ryan what time it was, Phoebe. 6.45. And I heard it kind of ding-a-ling and I was like, oh. Unbelievable. She's here.

How rude. This is what I've got against people that turn up on time. Rude. It wasn't. She got the train, so she was like, well, this is the right time for me to get here. Anyway, and so I've heard it ding-a-ling and I'm like, oh, there's someone here.

And then, like, no buzz at the door, but I'm like, oh, there's someone here. And then like no buzz at the door. But I'm kind of like getting things ready in the house and whatever. Is it like a Pavlov's dog situation where if you get the buzzer that someone's walking down, it's almost like, and wait for the knock? Kind of, yeah. Because it's like a one-two. You hear one, you expect the other. Exactly right. Or like when you actually walk up to the thing, you press the bell and that makes a different sound.

Right. So just the motion makes one noise and the actual doorbell makes another noise. So you've heard the first one. So I've heard the first noise and then I was like, oh, maybe that was just like someone walking past or something and it's like not really picked it up. And then I kind of keep, because I'm like, oh, that obviously wasn't someone waiting for me.

Yeah. I keep doing stuff. And then at like five to seven, I happen to walk past the front door and Phoebe's out in the driveway. Loitering in the driveway. Yeah, so it's like ten minutes later. Would you describe it as a loiter? She was just like standing there like patiently.

Like she wasn't like pacing me up and down or anything. She's just like standing there patiently. And so I open the door. Did you want to come in, mate? And I was like, Phoebe, you can come in. And she was like, I was just waiting until 7. And she was like, oh. You were at Tony's house longer than Redders was at the 40th.

And I was like, you can come in. And she was like, oh, I just didn't want to come too early, which I wish Ryan felt the same way. And I was like, oh, no, that's okay. Like, you come in. And then she said to me like, oh, did you know, like, how long I was out there? And I was like, oh, no, that's okay. Like, you come in. And then she said to me, like, oh, did you know, like, how long I was out there? And I was like, oh, no, no, I just saw you out there.

And then it wasn't until afterwards that I was like, I can go back and look at the footage of you standing out the front and I can just see, like, Phoebe just standing there with her backpack on. Like a psychopath, yeah. Yeah, it's literally like that movie Us, you know, where they're all in the driveway. It was exactly like that. Anyway, and I just felt like, oh, you could have come.

Like I felt guilty because I'm like, you know that you could come. You're like, that's fine. You know what I mean? My worst nightmare is the two of you just apologising to each other for half an hour. I mean, this is the reveal. She doesn't know that I, yeah. So you know what?

Like sorry about the ring doorbell of it all. Don't you apologize. This is hilarious. It's very good. But yeah, and then when I was like, you can come in, you're like, oh, yeah, just got here. Cool as anything. You lied to your boss.

Oh, no. No. Well, I just got here. She's trying to save face. I just got here is the polite thing to say, but it's also a hard, cold lie. But the thing was, like, my option was be early or the next train was going to make me late,

and I know Tony's stance on being on time. Oh, I'm back on board. I'm back on board. Yeah, that was the right choice. I think you can still be on time and not loiter in the driveway for half an hour. I think there's, like, some grey areas in and around there. For instance, there's a get a coffee if you don't want to turn up

or turn up early or just not stand in the – I think just not standing in the driveway would be an option. I also – maybe this is a good time to just say like I'm always ready before – Yeah, Tony isn't ready until 4 a.m., so just come on through. Because I like being early, I'm always ready. Just text me. I got the notification anyway. But it was just so funny that I Because I like being early, I'm always ready. Just text me. I got the notification anyway. But it was just so funny that I was like, I know that you're out there.

Oh, that sounded good. I know where you are. Maybe that's the bonus YouTube show. Tony's being a creep. Tony says she knows where you are. Anyway. I've got a love to see it here from Tapa Emily Smith. Emily Smith?

Is that a fake name? No. No? Emily Smith. Well, that's that a fake name? No. No? Emily Smith. Well, that's her name on Facebook in the group. She posted in the thread. And tell us your stories in the thread. Oh, yeah.

We love reading them. And then using them on the pod. Yep. Emily won a trivia night using the help of Tony and Ryan. The question was, what do Aussies call a Bottle-O? And I'd never known the answer so quickly because I remember on a Tony and Ryan podcast episode, you did an, like, Australian, like what things are said in Australia.

Yeah, Aussie lingo. Yeah. And so straight away she goes, bottle shop, and all of her friends were really impressed. Emily said, I look smart as fuck. You love to see it. We won the trivia by a point. That is very good.

Yep. But if you heard the word bottle-o, surely you'd know. Oh, no, because they don't call it a bottle shop. It's like liquor store, isn't it? It's, like, totally different. That is very good. But if you heard the word bottle-o, surely you'd know. Oh, no, because they don't call it a bottle shop. It's like liquor store, isn't it? It's like totally different. That is good. See, we're educating the masses, just like the milk last week. I reckon one of the greatest things, like, I'm yet to experience

is winning pub trivia. I don't think real people win. I think it's fucking plants. That's what I think because I've come close sometimes and then sometimes I go, oh, and in the final round, these guys over here are trivia Newton John. Let's get quizzical. They're on this many points.

That's hilarious. Thank you. And we'll go, oh, we're two points behind those guys. And then the other group is called Quiz Team Aguilera. Yeah. Yeah. Quiz Team Aguilera. I think that's actually the team that beat us.

Oh. But when you know you're a few points off, you're like, tonight could be the night, guys. Harry Potter and the Chamber of Seaquids. Seaquids. I'm trying to think of more. Emily, you love to see it. Yeah, you do love to see that, Emily, even if that is a fake name. My love to see it's from Selena Dutton,

and this does have a bit of coincidence chat, but it's very worth it. Selena says, My first stop on my seven-month-long solo travel trip was in Hawaii. Whoa. Lucky you. Hawaii is amazing. I can't wait to go back. Where I met a lovely lady from Melbourne.

Shout out to Christina. Isn't that cute? Two weeks later and I'm currently in Melbourne. So we're obviously like the next stop on the trip. Currently in Melbourne where we met up and found out that we're both tarpers. And they didn't know that originally?

No. So they met randomly in Hawaii on holiday. And then her next stop was Melbourne. Did you listen to Tony and Ryan's stickers when you were there? Oh, my God. So they met randomly in Hawaii on holiday. Yep. And then her next stop was Melbourne. And Christina was like, oh. Did you leave some Tony and Ryan stickers when you were there? Oh, I should have. Except for the bathroom. I should have.

I actually left Tony and Ryan nail clippers in Hawaii. So they didn't sell the Hawaiian ones anymore. No, I've got 5,000 pairs of your ones. Cop one of mine back. Yeah, I'll leave some here. No wonder why we got along so well. We have the same sense of humour and love Tony and Ryan. You love to see it.

You do love to see that. Isn't that so sweet? That is good. Well, I hope that you're having a great time, Selena and Christina. I'll tell you what I also love to see. Quiz Tina. Is that people who go, oh, I'm there in a few months. We should catch up.

And then they actually did it. Actually do? That's impressive. That's like saying like, oh, yeah, we should catch up on the weekend. You go, what's wrong with that? Yeah. Yeah. And they actually did it. That's my saying like, oh, yeah, we should catch up on the weekend. You go, what's wrong with that? Yeah. Yeah. And they actually did it.

That's my life. That's impressive. Yeah. Wow. Call me impressed. What willpower they must have. Speaking, oh, no, I'm not really speaking of willpower. I have none, if that's what you're going to say.

Well, I've got a story about someone called Toni Lodge tomorrow. And her ability. She sounds cool. She sounds like the person that would get invited to a music festival. She does. She sounds like the kind of person that would invite people to a music festival. Do you reckon that makes you cooler if you're the inviter?

Yeah, or is it cool to be like, I'll come with you guys. I'll tag along, whatever. Just deciding on the day to go to a music festival? Yeah, maybe I'll come. Some more insight into Tony Lodge tomorrow. It'll be interesting. Can everyone leave me alone? And also some tapas have some expressions that are, like,

used in their family. And you know how you kind of go up thinking, like, everyone says this? Oh, and they don't. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. That's tomorrow on the show.

Love you. Bye.