Toni and Ryan - Come Over for a Flog

Episode Date: November 17, 2021

Happy FOURTH EPISODE OF THE WEEK! How are we possibly doing it?! Very sexy and verryyyyyy cool. Reviews of She's The Man, Ryan stitching up a housemate, and we're going ballroom dancing. Love you! Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hello, is this Em? It is, hi. Oh, my God, we've called everyone in England trying to get through to you, Em. Oh, my God, no way. Is it true that we have something to congratulate you on? It absolutely is. Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday to you. Happy birthday, dear Em. Happy birthday to you. Hip, hip. Hooray. Hip, hip. Hooray. Hooray.

Yay. We hate birthdays. That's a lot from us, Em. Yeah, that's a lot from us. That's my birthday. That's it. Oh, that's it. All right, back to bed now. a lot from us, Em. Yeah, that's a lot from us. That's my main mother's birthday. That's it. Oh, that's it.

All right, back to bed now. Have a good one, bye. Thanks so much, yeah. Em, you sent a message on Instagram and in Patreon, thank you very much for your support, saying, oh, my gosh, I'm so sorry, in the Calendly link I've put the wrong number, please change it. On Instagram it ended in a four, and on Patreon, it ended in a three.

Explain yourself. I'm really sorry. I was tired. I mean, I did check that, and being a British person, it made me anxious. I'm quite anxious that I got the number wrong as well now. I'm really sorry. Oh, no, Emma. Tony's bullied you as well. Oh, it made me anxious. I'm quite anxious that I got the number wrong as well now. I'm really sorry. Oh, no, Em. Tony's bullied you as well.

Oh, don't you, Jen. No, no. But, Em, it's so lovely to have you here. Thank you so much for joining us. What time is it where you are at the moment? It's currently 5.15 in the morning, and my wife probably dislikes me because I set an alarm for 4.30 in the morning. Well, she probably dislikes all of us.

Well, I would say sorry for being late, but it was your fault. I am not surprised it was Ryan, I've got to be honest. He makes terrible recommendations. I take back the song, I take back the birthday wish. I'm so sorry it's 5.15. Are you going to go to the gym after this or something? Is that what people do at that early in the morning? No, I'm like sorry it's 5.15. Are you going to go to the gym after this or something? Is that what people do at that early in the morning? No, I'm like a

fat non-binary lesbian. I'm going to eat some cake. Well, that's the best answer I've ever heard. That's done me for today. No, wait a minute. Go to the gym. I think my wife will actually have a heart attack if I do that.

Yeah. Well, as much as I'd love to hear more about this, I was wondering, is it okay to get your approval before we get started today? My name is Emma Kerwin-Stewart. It's my 36th birthday and I absolutely approve this podcast. Oh, and Em, do you want a really special birthday gift? Yes. You're approving our first ever fourth episode.

It's Thursday and we are now on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Fuck me right up. Happy 36th birthday. Do you know how exciting that is? Not only because I'm approving it, because Thursday's just got a hell of a lot better on the way to work. You're welcome. That's in the promo.

Hey, it's Em from Ormskirk in Lancashire in the UK, and I approve this podcast. Yeah. Today is a grand day. Sorry, I was just on Instagram looking through Paris Hilton's wedding photos. Oh, sorry, it was the big announcement and appearance of a fourth weekly episode. Mate, oh, it's old news. We've done it. Nah, just kidding.

This is huge. Not as important as Paris Hilton, apparently. But people would have shit over that fourth episode, I reckon. They've been pumped for it. And thank you to everyone who's been a part of the Tony and Ryan Patreon because now we've got some people chipping in. It means we can do a bit more and get some more videos and stuff. So more YouTube videos and now four episodes a week,

Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday. Thank you for having us. I feel like I'm saying that in a condescending tone, but I actually really mean it. Yeah, and the fact that people want to hear us more days a week is mind-blowing to us, and we're here. We're able to deliver that, and it's fucking exciting. Yeah, now last week we watched and reviewed and cried together

about The Notebook. Sorry, that was kind of a sexy moan, but I meant for it to be like a heartfelt... Give me a heartfelt one. And after the notebook, we thought, we need to pick me up. So soon, later on in this ep, she's the man. Amanda Bynes. Amanda Bynes. Channing Tatum.

Oh, yeah, shock appearance from Channing Tatum. Yeah, I'd fucking let him put his soccer ball in my goalie hole. Sorry. And that is our review of She's the Man. Sorry, I don't know what happened there. That's coming up shortly. But, Tony, how have you been, mate? What's going on?

Yeah, I'm really good. So I've just started a new job. Congratulations. So we've mentioned this before on the pod. You and I both have full-time jobs. We work like nine to five jobs. I've just started at a new gig full-time, which I'm loving. It's so great.

It sounds great. And they've got a really, really positive team culture. Like the work culture is super important to them. And I had all these interviews and I got to meet all these people that I'd be working with and stuff. So it was pretty intimidating, but it's really good. And one of their onboarding kind of processes is that you have like a one-on-one with everybody on the team.

So there's about 25 people that work on the team. Whoa, is that a lot? Is that scary? Is that weird? I love it because I love chatting to people. Yeah. So it doesn't really bother me. But you kind of are answering the same kind because people are like,

oh, where have you come from? Like what's your experience? Like did you go to uni? Where were you working before this kind of thing? I feel like one-on-one is way better than usually you're in a room with all 25 at once and they go, this is Tony. Tony, tell us about yourself. And you're like, oh, I cut audio and nice to meet you all.

And they're all like, hey, nice to meet you. And you don't get to know them. It's awkward. Except I guess working remotely kind of helps this because you're forced to spend time where normally it would be like, oh, Tony, you're new. Oh, I'm just making a sandwich in the kitchen. Oh, where did you come from?

And, you know, it's a two-minute interaction. Whereas this is kind of actually investing time in people you're meeting. Putting time in the calendar to say you are going to hang out and meet this person. Which I really like. I love that. I love that. Anyway, so that's like one of their priorities.

So over the past two weeks I've been chatting to lots of people. As I said, you are kind of answering a lot of the same questions, but I've loved getting to know what people actually do because how fucking often is it you start a new gig and someone goes, oh, hey, I'm Mel, so good to meet you, and you go, oh, great, but you don't know what the fuck Mel does. Yeah, what do you do, Mel? And then two years later you're still like, Mel,

I don't really know what you do. Hey, mate, I see you coming in here every day. You open a laptop, you're pushing buttons. What do you do here, mate? Well, I don't really know what you do. Hey, mate, I see you coming in here every day. You open a laptop. You're pushing buttons. What do you do here, mate? Well, I don't really know what you do. So I've kind of come up with like creative ways to ask people that in the thing. And I'm like, what does your day look like? What do you get up to each day?

Who do you work with the closest? And it's great. But people say to me, oh, where have you been before this? What's your experience in? What do you do? And then they say, what do you do for fun? What a horrifying question. Ryan, what do you do for fun?

Exactly. I don't know. I do this. I have fun with you. Yeah. So we started this podcast to be a hobby and now it's like a second full-time job, which so fucking grateful great job not me complaining no but it takes time to put it takes a lot of time uh we are on the phone every

day doing planning we record all all day on a saturday then on a sunday i cut all the episodes you're watching all the videos to send to frank our video guy to cut everything up it's basically another full-time job yeah so it doesn't leave a lot of time for... For other things that are just switch your mind off. And I'm talking hobbies where it's like hobbies or things that you do where it's like that is for you and it's not to make money. It's not a side hustle. It's not a side hustle.

It's not to make money. It's not because you kind of have to do it. You can enjoy it, but you have to do it. I'm talking something that is for pure enjoyment. So my boyfriend, Torbs, been doing it for eight years together for seven. He makes synths. We've talked about this a million times. He sold us synths, Eurorack synths.

You can look them up. And then he also, he plays video games. He loves to read. He has lots of hobbies that he does just because he loves it. And like you said, it's not for money. It's not because he's working towards something. It's just like I love doing this thing. Yep, he loves switching his brain off and doing that stuff.

If you had the time, what would you like to do? But that's the thing. I don't really have anything. Neither do I. Like I really enjoy. I don't really have anything. Neither do I. Like I really enjoy doing craft, like crafty stuff. Yeah. But if I don't have something that I'm doing for something. Like if someone said I need you to make a piece of craft by next Sunday,

you would get it done. Yeah, or if, you know, I really wanted to make like a Christmas DIY, I would do it because I'd be working towards something. But if no one's telling you to do it or you don't have a reason. I don't have a deadline. I just won't and I won't enjoy doing it because I'll be like I'm not doing this for anything. I don't really like doing aimless stuff.

So if people can go to the Facebook group, not necessarily recommendations for us, but I would just like you to say what your hobby is because I feel like the more ideas get flowing. So are you in the market for a hobby? Has being asked all these questions at work forced you to re-evaluate and go maybe I need a hobby, I need an escape? Where are you at?

What are you thinking? Well, it's kind of my, it was a bit embarrassing that I was like, I don't really have anything outside of my two jobs that I do just purely for enjoyment. Like apart from watching, people are like, what do you do? You know, at night time, like I fucking watch TV. So I was going to say, would you watching hours and hours of Geordie Shore? That doesn't count, right?

It doesn't feel, watching TV doesn't feel like a hobby. Like it's a good switch off activity. But it's not something that I go and, you know, actively. At the end of the year you don't look back and go, oh, this year in my hobbies I achieved. I watch so much TV. Like people don't want to hear that. Maybe it is okay to say that you watch trash TV,

but I don't think it's a hobby. But I think I need to find something to fill my time, if only to make me seem more interesting. Is that a good reason to do it? It doesn't need to fulfil me. I just need to seem interesting. So when you get asked at the Christmas party, oh, what have you been up to?

You've got something to say. I loved scrapbook. Oh, God, I'm always doing ballroom dancing. Oh. I've got to, I actually, we're about to talk about She's the Man. Yep. A great trash movie. Great trash movie.

Do you remember the final scene? The final scene when they kiss at the debutante ball. Debutante ball? Yeah. Debutante ball. Oh. You say ballroom dancing. I'm feeling some dressing up and some, because, you know, it's not like a full ballroom dance, but.

Do you want to hear something really fucking cute that he will hate that I'm sharing this? Go on. So when Torbs was in high school. Oh, my God. He. Were you born then? Huh. Go on. So when Torbs was in high school, he- Were you born then? Huh? Go on.

Was I born then? That's very funny. He's not that much older than me. He's only like four years older than me. You're older than me than Torbs is. Oh, my mistake. I had to stop me. Yeah, go on.

Yeah, so you were 15. Yeah. When he was in high school, him and his mates, like, wanted to talk to girls and, like, learn how to kind of talk to girls and get the opportunity to chat to girls. You're right. This is embarrassing for him. And so him and his mates all signed up to do ballroom dancing.

They did not. So that they could, like, talk to, not, like, in a sleazy way, but literally so that they would get FaceTime with girls and get to like chat with them and like learn to dance. Did he hook up with one of them? Oh, probably. What a lady killer. But, you know, like and they would go and dance.

Yeah, he is. So was there a like end of season ball or something where they, was it just a weekly class? Yeah, it always builds up to something. Yeah, like a wind up of netball or whatever. Yeah. But they went and did ballroom dancing so that they could, like, talk to girls and, like, hold their hands and stuff.

Isn't that adorable? And that brought him up to the social skills to finally one day be doing you for eight together for seven. Yeah. But whenever we've had a few lemonades and we're, like, dancing at a party. He busts out a few moves? Yeah, like he would do a nice dip and, oh, yeah, it's pretty,

yeah, he can dip it right in. Do you like being, I mean, do you like doing the dancing? Oh, yeah, it's like, and he just like, he, do you know what it is? As soon as he starts to do it, he stands up really tall, he looks really fucking confident and he just like grabs me and like moves me around. And he's done it with a few of my girlfriends and stuff. Like if we're out and we're dancing, he'll like,

so one of my best friends, Lane, her and her fiancé, they're getting married next year, they moved back to New Zealand. But whenever we were all out together, like, Torbs would grab Lane and they'd be, like, dipping each other and, like, it was great. And were you turned on by that? Oh, it was just so fun. He's confident of moving.

Lane's hot as fuck. She is hot as fuck. She looks like Blake Lively. So how did you feel about seeing your partner dancing with a hot Blake Lively? I mean, if I was upset every time Torbs looked at someone that was better looking at me, I'd never get anything done. If I'm spending 23 hours

a day fucked off, then who's cooking dinner? Exactly. I've got things to do. So do you want to start ballroom dancing? Because I feel like Torbs would love to spend some quality time with you. We've talked about love languages this week. Maybe this is your thing. Maybe he and I go and do ballroom dancing.

That's cute. You'd get pretty fit, I reckon. Oh, absolutely. They're all ripped. Yeah, and like, you know, whenever... The calves popping. Whenever you watch like celebs that have done a series of Dancing With The Stars and they're jacked as fuck at the end.

Yeah. So can I pencil in your report back in a few weeks? Yeah, maybe. I mean, COVID permitting, obviously. COVID permitting, yeah. We might not be able to do it. But that would be quite fun, eh? That's so nice.

All right. Let me write that down. Watch this space. All right. I've got something real quick just here. We've had a lot of first date stories on our podcast. And I feel like every time we tell a first date story, someone else is like, oh, well, if you think that's bad,

try this. And it keeps getting worse and worse and worse. And can I just put it out there? Please. Has anyone... Put it right out. Tony. Sorry.

I'm going ballroom dancing with my boyfriend. Yeah, I know. That's cute. I can see you're excited by that and I'm excited for you. Do you want to go instead of Torbs? Well, I assumed that was what you were angling at, but it's if you... Well, I thought that you and I would go. Yeah, that's what I thought, but then you wanted to take Torb's.

No, why don't you and I go instead? I'll just bore him down to my fucking self. No, why don't you and I? Torb's can stay home. No, no, I actually love Torb. Torb's has got a fucking hundred hobbies. He's busy. Yeah, but he's a pro.

No, I'm happy for him. No, you and I can go because he'd go to a pro one. We'd have to go to beginner ballroom. He's fucking teaching the class. Torb's could teach us to ballroom. How to do it. Yeah, that's what we're doing. Oh, my God.

Live brainstorm. Okay. Okay. Glad we sorted that out. Is it going to be weird when he's like, oh, Ryan, I just need you to put your hand not on her ass? Yeah, and now you kiss. Hi, Ryan.

I won't use this person's real name. We'll instead call her... How do I say each other? Shmarly. Mate. Hi, Ryan. Finally caught up on all the podcasts and love the first date stories and I've got a horror one of my own.

Thanks, Shmarly. I'd been talking to this girl. There were a lot of vibes. We were messaging back and forth. I finally decided to ask her out on a date, says Shmarley. And she said yes. So Shmarley goes. Oh, isn't that just the best feeling?

She said yes. So I thought, yeah, you'd be so amped up and excited. A bit of flirting on the app or whatever you're on there. Like I haven't asked someone on a date in eight years, over eight years. But fuck, that would feel good, like amping yourself up about that and, you know. I thought it would be cute that we grabbed a pizza, went for a drive through the countryside

and had a picnic. Hot. Right? Yeah, you're getting lovely times. I almost said licked on the minch. Said it anyway. Yeah, I mean, you didn't nearly say it. Yeah. You fucking said it. Yeah, said licked on the minch. Said it anyway. Yeah, I mean, you didn't nearly say it. Yeah.

You fucking said it. Yeah, said it. Yeah, countryside. It went swimmingly until we left. We start driving again and my stomach starts to ache and I break into a sweat. Oh, Shmarly. She was chatting away until, like, I had to kind of say it out loud.

I didn't want to just sit there and, like, gurgle. Stew on your, oh. So I finally admitted that I felt ill and, like, I was going to throw up. She sped up the driving, but I think the anxiety got the... That's so lovely. I think the anxiety got the better of her because she just wouldn't stop talking. She was like, oh, that's fine. And just tried to like, oh, so anyway, let me tell you about work today.

Which is, I guess, kind of endearing. Yeah, so she started speeding up and was trying to cover up for Shmali. That's quite nice. So I was concentrating so hard, says Shmali. She had to concentrate on not pooing herself. And so she says, I need you to stop talking. I need silence. You're distracting me.

I'm sorry. It's a first date. I just need you to shut up and drive. Okay. Yeah. Oh, thanks, Rihanna. Thanks, Rihanna. It's come through.

Shut up and drive. Great song. I love that we both said thanks, Rihanna. Have we worked in commercial radio? Yeah. What? We finally get to a roadside stop and I'm in there for 37 minutes. That's like almost two episodes of How I Met Your Mother.

That's a fucking lifetime, especially in that situation because you're just like, I just want this to be over. Yeah, and the girl that she was on the date with is sitting in the car going like, do I check on her? Do I drive home? I don't want her to feel bad, but should I just sit here and be patient, pretend I don't know what's going on? I appeared with mascara running down my cheeks because I'd been crying.

My stomach emptied. She drove to my house and we parted ways. That's when I learned I was lactose intolerant. Didn't know until then, but we had a full cheese pizza out in the middle of nowhere. So I was like, hey, mate, thanks for sharing your story. I mean. Did they end up, oh, sorry.

So that's what I want to know. I was like, but then what? Is there a message or something? Did they reconnect? Yeah. She said no. There was no follow-up message. She kind of ghosted her.

And then I replied to Shmarley, well, at least you never have to see her again, right? No. She's her ballroom dancing teacher. She's gone Look She never heard back I should start a hobby I need to get practice

Talking to other girls I'm going to start Ballroom dancing She goes to ballroom dancing She's now dating My best friend Get fucked I have to see her

All the time Oh no I mean as if Someone you've been On a date with That you liked enough To go on a date with, starts dating a friend, that's bad enough. Bad enough.

But the fact that she knows that you took 40 minutes to shit on the side of the road after eating a pizza on a date, that's not good. And were crying after you told her to shut the fuck up. And then ghosted, like. And, of course, they didn't know that. Of course. They, you know, the triangle. A mutual, yeah. Until they'd already, it's not like, oh, I met this person that they, you know, the triangle. A mutual, yeah.

Until they'd already, it's not like, oh, I met this person. Oh, I actually know them. Nah. Like, it's like they were further down the track. And now they have to hang out all the time. And she said, it's still weird. And I feel embarrassed. Oh, Shmarley, don't be embarrassed by that.

We all shit. Everybody poops. Somebody put in the group the other day that they don't like it when we say poo. What do you mean? And they would prefer we said poop, and I am just, like, not four fucking years old, so I'm not going to say poop. Do you know what I mean? You're not 34.

I mean, you're not four years old. I'm not 34 either. I'm 27. Are you? Yep. I look rough, I know, but, yeah, I'm only 27. Busy 27. It's been a long 27 years.

No, I'm joking, mate. You look great. Thanks, mate. I'll take you out for a pizza picnic. We're not doing that here. That's not where we're up to. We're going to a break. Coming up next. I'd love to see that we're going to a break.

You'd love to see more podcasts coming your way. Coming your way. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. It's very unlike me to shoot that off too soon. Oh, insert ad here. Hi, it's Em from Ormskirk in Lancashire in the UK and you're listening to Tony Ryan. All right.

So massive shout out to all of our supporters on the Patreon. Tony and Ryan slash Patreon. That's not the fucking address. Patreon.com slash Tony Ryan. Are you okay, mate? I've really rattled you since I've offered to take you out on a

pizza picnic day. No, the problem is when you went to the wrong song, I'm off. And this is a Thursday. We can be forgiven. This is the first time we've ever done Thursday. We're trying to figure out how to do a Thursday. We're just still figuring out the works. But me just then trying to read out the fucking word.

Me just trying to read out the web fucking web me just trying to read out the is like when an old person says oh here's the website it's www. and like no i fucking know do you want to know the website it's uh http yeah don't forget to put the www in. My grandpa. God rest his soul. God rest his soul. Refused to acknowledge that the term USB was a thing.

And in his mind. What do you mean? It was just a stick. What? So you're telling me they put a whole movie in a stick? Like, yeah. He's like, but where's the disc? No, it's in the USB. The stick! They put a movie in a stick? Like, yeah, but where's the disc? No, it's in the USB. The stick!

They put a movie in a stick! I spent 10 years of my life having that conversation. So he didn't acknowledge that it was called a USB or what it could do? Both. Oh! And I lived around the corner and, you know, when they're like, oh, just get your grandson,

he'll plug the computer in. Oh, he'll come and fix the computer. And I'm like, I'm not bad with technology, but I'm also like not that guy. Like I'm not good at it either. And so I'm like, I can put the movie in. And he's like, in it. But the DVD, like in his mind, he had to like origami a DVD

into a fucking stick. That's very sweet though, isn't it? It is the first time. Yeah. And then you're like, fucking hell, granddad. I just want to, yeah. One time I asked him how the sundial worked. Oh, like how to tell the time with a sundial?

Yeah, but how does it work? Yeah. Oh, yeah. You can't ask. He gets an atlas out. He's trying to teach me longitudes and latitudes. It went for six hours, and this was probably 25 years ago, and I thought, he's getting old, Grandpa.

Is he going to finish this story before he finishes his story? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Old men love to take a long time, like long walk for a short drink of water, like I said earlier this week. Great thing, great thing. But anyway, old men aside. Are you okay? Yeah, I just thought I was going to say this.

Old men aside. What just happened to you? Sorry. It's the Thursday episode. You're done. You've only got three in you this week. I've got three in me, not four. I've said that before.

So this week we needed to recover from watching The Notebook last week, which was a cry-a-thon. Ryan called me and I was just, you know, inconsolable. Yeah, it wasn't just like you were a bit down. Oh, I was. Howling. Yeah. Howling.

Howling at the moon. So we asked everybody for their favourite smiley movies. What puts a smile on your face? Guaranteed. A smile on your dial. Actually, the final four were. She's the Man, Cool Runnings. I also bumped that one up because I love Cool Runnings.

I've never seen it. It's a great film. I've never watched it. School of Rock was up there as well. Oh, a great movie as well. Side note, has there ever been a movie written more perfectly for the main character? Oh, nah.

Like, no one else could do that movie. Except for Jack Black. Yeah, and sort of vice versa of like it was written for him and they did a really great job of going, how can we make this guy shine? Yeah. What a great film. So the guy who's the nerdy brother or whatever.

Mr Schneebly, Ned. He wrote that movie. Really? The actor, that guy, wrote the whole movie. Oh, sorry, am I boring you? Sorry. I knew the sneezes coming. And do you want to know a fun fact?

Fun, yeah. Oh, fucking hell. We are a fucking sign here. The guy that wrote The School of Rock wrote the whole series of White Lotus. Really? And they are worlds apart. Yeah, totally different. Just like the episode yesterday was really

good and this one fucking shocking. It was really shit. I mean, what a mixed bag of chocolates. Okay, that's what I'm saying. So I didn't know anything about She's the Man. Uh-huh. Yeah, so you told me you'd never seen it. Never seen it. What a great movie.

Such a good movie. I mean. This is a fave of mine. Yeah. Yeah. And light watching. It was a Friday night. Yeah.

I was pretty tired. Put it on. I was like, oh, great. Within the first minute, you know the exact story and where it's all going to finish up. How hot is the first scene of her playing soccer on the beach? That is real hot. Yeah, it's fucking hot. She's got that bikini on, those denim shorts.

Just passion that hot guy on the beach. And I was like, oh, is this like a fucking sex movie? What is this? Yeah, it gets you a bit fingery, doesn't it? I've never said that before. Are you fucking right? Fucking hell. Oh, shit.

Sorry. So I didn't know that Channing Tatum was in it. Oh, such a welcome surprise, though. Wouldn't fucking kick him out of bed. Because the first scene, he is topless. And again, when you're not expecting it and you're like, oh, fucking topless Channing Tatum in the house. Yeah.

No, you do. You, bro. Yeah. You're like, Bridget, shut your eyes. Oh, mate, I wouldn't have been able to shut her eyes. She was the same. She was like, it's Channing Tatum. Jesus Christ. Wake me up inside. Yeah. Evanes like, Bridget, shut your eyes. Oh, mate, I wouldn't have been able to shut her eyes. She was the same. She was like, it's Channing Tatum. Wake me up inside.

Yeah. Evanescence reference. Channing Tatum is one of those people. He hasn't aged. No. Like, not in the slightest. He looks exactly the same in that movie and in, like, Step Up. Yeah.

As he does in photos of him and Zoe Kravitz. Fuck. Jesus, mate. So here's the thing, though, right? Because I look at Channing Tatum now and I know that he's, what, late 30s, 40 or something? I don't know how old he is, but he's looking good. So I'm watching this movie in my mind watching a 40-year-old.

A grown man. Yeah. And then when he's like, oh, you know, I hope she likes me. I'm like, what the fuck? You're chatting fucking Tatum. Of course she does. Put it in, bro. Don't even wait.

Yeah, I'll pash her for sure. Isn't pash such a weird word? Yeah, it is. I remember it was like one of my mum's like things that she said. Was she going to pash at the party? Yeah, like, oh, and he was passion on with his girlfriend. She used to say that a lot. Passion on.

Yeah. So we both mentioned casting Channing Tatum. What a great guy. Amazing, yeah. She is great, by the way, Amanda Bynes. She was in our movie last week. She's the new Stanley Tucky. Easy A.

So the week before. Yeah, so I didn't know much about her other than when you hear her in the news now, it's like she's had a bit of a rough time. She has, yeah. And I never knew the start of her story. I have only seen snippets of the beginning. And I don't know whether it's a great thing or maybe sad, but she is like such a great, like for those kind of teen movies.

And even in Easy A, I'm like, oh, she's great. She's such a great comedy actor. Because she came from like Nickelodeon. So she had her own show and it was called The Amanda Show. Have you ever watched that? No. And it was like she was the lead actor in a sketch show basically. Okay, cool.

And so she would just act in different scenarios. And like it's really like she's very funny. Yeah, she's so funny. And she's not like a dumb bimbo or anything. She's actually just, like, a super talented, like, comedy actress. What a gun. And I just, I mean, it was every scene, but just when she was a female and then she remembers,

oh, no, I'm supposed to be my brother, and then puts the worst accent of all time. The, ugh. Yeah, dog. Yeah. Oh, yeah, the bro-heem. Yeah. And it was, was like from the Bahamas. Wajiman.

Yeah, it's like, oh, he's supposed to be a white guy. Yeah. He's pretty funny. Yeah, so I love that. But the thing that I said to you, I can't believe how close, so in the movie she impersonates her twin brother. Yep. How close they got the casting of her and the guy that plays her brother.

Yeah. So the person that she ends up impersonating with like a wig on and some fake sideburns and she binds her chest and stuff, I can't believe how fucking close they got that. Because at first when I was like, oh, the plot is she goes to a boy's school or whatever, I was like, as if anyone's actually going to believe that. Yeah. And then you kind of watch it and go.

Actually, it's pretty similar. And when they had the face paint on, I was like, convenient. Yeah. At the end. But, I mean, surely you'd know. Yeah. If a boy came in dressed as me, oh, actually, maybe I shouldn't ask this, but if a boy came in dressed as me, oh, actually maybe I shouldn't ask this,

but if a boy came in dressed as me, like you'd notice, but no one knows him, so maybe that's where it's like believable. That's true. Well, where I wasn't believing it was so Channing Tatum pashes her dressed as a girl. Yep. Then she dresses up as a guy and they hang out later in the day. If you pash that person earlier in the day, you're not noticing that.

Do you want to try it? Do you want to kiss me and then later I'll? You'll come around to my house dressed as a boy later? Yeah. And I'll be like, oh, who's this random guy that's turned around? Hi, mate. Hi, Tony with a Y. Yeah, nice.

Are you here because earlier today we patched and you said you'd dress up for me? But I can't tell that it's you. Oh, that's right. I think that that casting is pretty good. So here's my question about the brother, the twin brother. Sebastian. Sebastian. Not that the actor did a bad job.

He was great. Only in a few scenes anyway, but he was great. Did he get the job because he's a good actor or is he maybe just some guy off the street and they're like, well, you kind of look like her and it's like a lookalike movie. Mate. You don't need to be great. We'll take anyone.

We've got a few lines. Yeah, all you need is to have a face that's kind of this shape, the same as Amanda. You're it. You've got the job, bro. That's such a good point, I wonder. Because surely that would, because he, like you said, isn't in a lot of scenes.

He doesn't need to be great. Surely they'd be like, look, as long as we can get him as close to her as possible. Get a few lines out of you. Yeah, and just be able to, yeah, pump it through. But I just, I still, so I watched this this morning. I'm still in disbelief that they look that much alike. Yeah.

Torbs came out and he was like, oh, do you want a coffee or whatever? And he was like watching what I was watching. And he was like, they look really similar. I can't believe it. But side note, though, great soundtrack. The Veronicas. All American Rejects? Yeah.

How long has it been since you fucking listened to All American Rejects? As soon as they played, I was like, bridge, All American Rejects. Yeah, so good. And has it been since you fucking listened to All American Rejects? As soon as they played, I was like, Brit, All American Rejects. Yeah, so good. And she goes, who's that? And I was like, fucking divorce papers, man. Fuck off. That's my wife.

Not anymore. Just divorced her. Oh, true story. Yeah, my mistake. Don't speak about my ex-wife like that. But yeah, I was loving the soundtrack. But here's a question that I was weird about. Okay.

Obviously, she's playing her twin twin brother and she's basically saying, oh, you should hook up with my sister because she wants to hook up with him. Yeah. What's the vibe with like especially younger men? Like you don't hook up with your mate's sister, right? Yep. I think that's a thing. Because your siblings, they're like way older.

They're way older than me, so I never experienced that. But did you ever chat to a friend of yours who had a brother and they were like, hey, that's my brother, like that's not cool, like is that a rule or do you have to like, you know, there's that stereotypical, hey, it's totally fine, but if you fuck her over, bro, I'll fucking kill you. Yeah, it is. And even Channing Tatum's character, Duke, is kind of like,

oh, I feel a bit weird, like I kissed your sister. Like I feel like because he says, I feel like I need to tell you. And he's like, oh, kiss her again. Kiss the crap out of her. Yeah, go for it, bro. Get in there. And then he's kind of like, oh, is this weird? Because if someone was like, nah, fuck my sister, you'd be like, whoa, okay.

Like you'd feel really weird about that. Yeah. And I remember watching that part and being like, this is strange. Yeah. I love it when they're talking about the cheese. Why, yes, I do. My favourite's Gouda. You know who the funniest person in the movie is?

Is the girl with the braces. Eunice? Yeah. I see a kitten gasping for air. Give her an Academy Award. She was fantastic. I loved her. And she hooks up with the guy at for air. Give her an Academy Award. She was fantastic. I loved her. And she hooks up with the guy at the end.

Yeah, Toby. Yeah. He is hot. He's great at soccer too. He is great at soccer. He was clearly, the other actors were like, he's a great actor, he's Channing Tatum, and he's okay at football, we can edit around that.

But him, they're like, maybe not the best actor, but someone needs to hold down the fort on the soccer field. Yeah, someone needs to be able to kick a ball properly. And I love the bit where he's like, oh, so when I liked Eunice, everyone thought I was stupid. But now that Duke likes her, she's suddenly cool. Like screw you guys. I hate high school. So fucking relatable.

So relatable. Yeah, that when someone hot and cool decides they like something, everyone's like, oh, yeah, I've always liked that. It's like, no, get fucked. This has turned into. You know how I, in a former life, I don't know if I've ever mentioned that I used to play volleyball. Professionally? Yeah.

Internationally? Oh, yeah. I know, it's hard to believe. So anyway, in high school, this guy in our high school team, his name was Igor. He moved to our school from Russia. Whoa. Yeah, and he ended up captaining Australia at the London Olympics.

Wow. Like six foot six. Wow. Absolute gun. So great. And so he was this big Russian guy who was so good. So when we were in like year 12 at the end of high school, all the other high school kids in the like year nine competition,

like they all look, oh, it's Igor. Like he was the guy everyone looked up to. And so I was like, hey, Igor. It's a week-long tournament, right? I was like, on Monday I'm like, you should wear a pink sock tomorrow, just one pink sock. And because you're that guy, by the end of the week, how many kids do you reckon are going to wear pink socks?

One pink sock. Yeah. Mental. Really? Everyone did it? Yeah. What a great social experiment. And he wore this like, had like these, like, an elbow sweatband or something.

Oh, yeah. Like a sleeve. Like, you know, those kind of. Yeah, I know what you're talking about. Yeah. Two days later. Everyone's got one. Every kid's wearing a sleeve.

Yeah. And it's sort of the same thing. It's like something can be really shit, but if the popular one says it's good, then it must be good. Do you think that we're hot or popular enough to do that? Start a trend. Start a trend? No.

No, it's a trick question. The answer's fine. Well, it's not a trick question. It's a very easy question to answer. Yeah, and it's fuck no. No, no, fuck no. Yeah. So Igor was chatting to this girl, Megan.

Did you like Megan? Is this where this is going? Oh, okay, yep. And he said, he was basically trying to ask me, what's the English word for like hang out, chill, whatever? Oh, yeah. Oh, Ryan, you didn't. You stitched this kid up.

I fucking stitched him up. So you had a crush on Megan and you knew that. It wasn't about fucking over Megan, it was just making fun out of Eagle because his English wasn't great. No, no, no, but did you have a bit of a crush on Megan and you knew that. It wasn't about fucking over Megan. It was just making fun out of Igor because his English wasn't great. No, no, no. But did you have a bit of a thing for Megan? But you knew that she would say yes to Igor and you wanted to fuck him over. So he says, what's the word?

Yeah. I'm looking for here. Because again, he's come from Russia and his English at the beginning. Yeah. Wouldn't. Yeah. Barely conversational. Learning any second language.

A fucking hats off if you can do it. I can't. So I said the word flog means chill. Do you want to flog? So he wrote to her, hey, thanks for passing on your number. Do you want to come around to our apartment and flog me? Anyway, all I know. She wouldn't have liked that.

Because we were in a two-bedroom apartment. I just hear this, it's like loud moan in Russian. And then he walks in and he goes, what does flog mean? Oh, my God. So did they ever get together? No, but I had sex with her three weeks later. You love to see it. You made a popular boy.

Popular boy. I do feel bad for Igor. Where's he now? What's he up to? He's a millionaire playing professional volleyball in Russia. I mean, he's fine. It's worked out well. He's got two kids and a gorgeous wife.

Oh. Olympic captain. And here I am with a podcast. With the greatest girl in the world. Yeah, gorgeous work wife. Yeah, I would have thought so. No kids, though. Four episodes a week, though.

I think that people probably wish that we didn't do four episodes a week. Not our best today. I think that's fair to say. They'll appreciate it, surely. Surely. Well, my You Love To See It, I don't have one. So my You Love To See It is that we have a fourth episode, but that I did no prep for it whatsoever

because I don't have a You Love To See It. Can that be mine? I've got a You Love To See It. Great. Here's a headline. Ooh, okay. Man nearly loses penis after cobra hiding in the toilet bites him on the dick.

That is one of my biggest fears. Big bit on the dick. That I'll be sitting on the toilet and something will crawl in my fanny. So, you know when there's venom in you, how do you get that out? Suck it out. God, imagine your husband walking out of the toilet being like, you have to suck my dick, I got bitten by a spider. Guess how he survived.

Really? Yeah. What a trooper. Shout out to Mrs Dick Bit. You love to see that. Wow. Oh, my God. That would hurt so much because you've got so many nerve endings, right? dick bit. You love to see that. Wow. Oh, my God.

That would hurt so much because you've got so many nerve endings, right? Hang on. Why was there a cobra in his toilet? I mean. Surely not. That was not the part. He lived in South Africa. As he sat down, he noticed the venomous.

Yep, into his man. Oh, and I got him on the anus as well. Oh, so she had to suck on his arsehole and his willy. You'd love to... I don't know if you'd love to see that. Maybe this wasn't the right time for this story. We've really let ourselves go on this one. But, I mean, you're welcome. Hopefully you'll love to see it.

But that's it for us for this week. What's wrong? Why do you look concerned? What's going on? I've got something else you'll love to see. Oh, okay, great. Yeah, fucking bring us home. Try and fix it.

This is from Natalie. Not the same... Shadily. No, different one. No, okay. My 12-year-old just tried on a pair of snow pants that were too tight. Snow pants must be nice. But she said, Oh, sorry, Mum, my thighs and butt are too powerful for these pants.

Oh, I'm too powerful for all my clothes as well. Just too powerful. Just think how quickly the whole dieting and really triggering stuff would just fall to its knees if we had more of an attitude like this 12-year-old girl. I love to see that. And like she said, and like you said, Tony, I'm way too powerful for 80% of the stuff in my cupboard.

Yep, and that's why I wear the same thing every week. Yep. You love to see that. See you next week, guys. Love you. Meow. Four days' worth of meows, baby.