Toni and Ryan - Come To Fiji With Us!!!

Episode Date: January 12, 2026

Engagement confession - Come to Fiji!!! - INs and OUT for TwentyTwentyTwix - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

This is a confession from Atapa who was planning on proposing over the break. I planned this beautiful moment on the beach. But the moment I got down on one knee, I got lightheaded. I started sweating and then I... I bravely pushed on with my speech because I'd put so much effort into it. And I was getting to the will you marry me part at the end. The big beard, the buildup, yeah. So I finally get there and...

Again. Yeah. Hi, my name's Kaylee from Kent in England. I'm James from Melbourne. This is Steph from Willongong, Australia, and I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hello.

If you're an OG tap-up. That's what we think of you. Welcome back. If you're a brand new tarpa, welcome. Welcome. Let's be friends. I'm Ryan. This is Tony.

We can all be friends. Now, I did I mention that I'm Tony and that's right. Now, you may have noticed the episode title. Yeah. If you're watching on YouTube, you may have noticed we're wearing very tropical clothing. It will all make sense very soon. I do have something I need to say though. Next to Tony on her left, if you're watching, there is a palm tree.

That I got from the nursery. Well, I was just going to say since we're all being honest and we're about to do confessions. It's fake. It's a really realistic one. You know how you can get some good plants now? Yeah. That's not their best. I disagree.

Oh, I've got a new game show. I've just thought of this. Normal or no. Why don't we have like a line-up and it's like, can we guess the real plant? Because you know how fake plants are getting good? Like actually- You have bought some crook fake plants. Yeah.

That's not getting in. Like, those other ones, not so much. These? The bamboo. Yeah. I think that looks pretty realistic. Yeah, but in a line up with real bamboo, you know what I mean? I think you'd be able to tell.

And you go, that one's probably a bit more native. That one might be from Temple and Webster. I would have a new idea in the maybe pile. Okay. Yeah. But it's all going to make sense very soon, but it's worth sticking around for. And you, yes, you listening, you watching. Get your passport ready.

fuck yeah. Very exciting. But actually though, that's like a thing people say, but like actually check it because it turns out you need six months. Extra on it. Yeah, you need to have a like, it can't expire the day after you get somewhere or whatever.

Which is bullshit. Well, they say I'm paying for a 10 year passport. Not really. You're paying for a nine and a half because that last six months don't even fucking worry about it. You're such a dad. Like the final transformation is complete. You've just complained about a passport.

These are tough confers. That are top confessions. That's Tony and Ryan podcast confessions. Now, speaking of welcoming new people, I'd like to think that here, you know, some people share stories with us

that they wouldn't share with their own families because this is like a no judgment zone. You know how families can be judgey or like at work your bosses is like, like, yes, I speak, yes.

Yes. And so I was thinking, we don't laugh at your misfortunes. We laugh with your misfortunes. misfortune. And I think that the other part of the deal is that on the seesaw of life, it's pretty even. Because you tell some fuck story about yourself and I tell you some fuck story about me, right? You know? It's all even. I feel like we're in the energy we're all on this together. Exchange. We're all sharing fucked stuff. This is a confession from

a Tapa who was planning on proposing over the break. Oh, okay. Hello, Tapa who was planning on to propose on the break. This is frustratingly anonymous, by the way, we can't ask follow up questions. Yeah. Tonynryne.com.com.com.com if you want to submit. Don't forget the dot. I've vomited whilst proposing because I was so nervous. Oh.

I planned this beautiful moment on the beach. Sunset, waves, a little speech I'd practiced 100 times in front of the mirror. Oh. I had a drink or two to calm the nerves. Not sure if it was those tequila's or the anxiety of the moment. But the moment I had to. got down on one knee, I got lightheaded. It's the adrenaline, like, it's just so much going on.

I started sweating and then I spewed on the sand. She gasped and then started laughing so hard, she almost fell over. Falling over while getting proposed to is a trend, I think. I'm just going to read this. And I'm going to give it the energy that the language requires. Okay. I bravely pushed on with my speech

because I'd put so much effort into it. Like I'd plan the speech. You got the chunk of vomit on the face. And I think there's just, there's no good way. I'm going to say this, put this on the record.

There's no good way to recover from a vomit. Yeah. Like you can't vomit and then be like, okay. Yeah. Like it needs attention. Yeah. Now in hindsight,

this is ridiculous. But I think in the moment and it's sort of what you're getting at Yeah. I kind of get it. Yeah. Because Al Tapa was so like, I've prepared this speech. I'm going to say this, going to say that.

It's the time. So they've thrown up. Thinking back, it was like I was just going to pretend that I hadn't just vomit it everywhere and just like push on. Yeah. I respect it, but I don't think it works. And then she goes, nothing happens. And because since we met, I, and. As someone who has tried to recover from a vomit before, a couple of times, it doesn't work.

Do you know the smokers area at the court in Perth? I'm familiar. Yeah. So there's like little benches and you kind of like, there's like a bench but then behind you there's like a retaining wall garden bed. I once was sitting there talking to my friends. I was fucking hammered. Yeah.

Which so for me, I'd had one and a half drinks. Yeah. And I'm sitting there talking to my friends. I'm literally like, yeah, and that's why I think I, you know, I'm closed off to love. And I met this guy, like, genuine. Like, I, and I thought I ate down. Like, I thought that I had absolutely tricked everyone. They were like, bitch.

You've just vomited. I'm sorry to interrupt your story. You've just thrown up in the courtyard, court you. Yeah. I hate to bring this up. I hate to bring it up, but you have just thrown up in front of all of life. I know that you. No, you can't have any of my words.

may or may not be closed off to love, but you have also just vomited in a nightclub. Yeah. Do you need to go home? Can we, do you want us to call your mom or something? I'm going to say a sentence, which is like,

people in Perth are just going to go, wow, everyone else is maybe not going to care. And there will be no, and then we're just going to move on. And we can move on. I've thrown up on the dance floor at the hippie club. I'm still there.

You know what the crazy thing about the hippie club is that you go there during the day and you go, oh, car park. Yeah, it's not a thing. Yeah. It's like,

also the big. You know that crazy cool club? You mean that that place? Ooh. Gee, seeing that in daylight is just really fucking bringing you back down to earth, isn't it? Yeah,

nothing more sobering than seeing that with the lights on. Going to get in your car next day and going, fuck, really, dude. This is where I was. Yeah. The hippie club was like big on like a Tuesday night as well. Like it was like a week night place.

Yeah. No, I think it was like a hospo club. Like hospo people went there on their days off. think after the formal part of the hit 92-9 Christmas party, we ended up there. Yeah. Classy stuff. And then did a breakfast show the next day, I bet. Trying to. Anyway. Nah, that was, nah. No. We were well done by then.

Oh. Should have used my meat for my moment. I go for Christmas. You wouldn't have been well done. You would have been medium rare. Anyway, the tapir who proposed over the break. The reason we were talking about meat thermometers was because I used it on Mabel to check her temperature. No, no. But the reason that that came up was because I perfected the roast chicken. And I said that the number one tool is a meat thermometer. So I bought everyone.

That's right. That's right. And then you said, I used to check maids. So over the break, update. We got a. That's fancy. They have them behind the counter at the chemist. What's so they can just zap you on the spot?

No, like you can't even get them off the shelf. Oh, I thought you meant you walk up to the counter and go, can you zap me dog? And they go, 36.5. I reckon they would. But you can't just get them off the shelf. It's like, oh, you got ID for that.

It's like where they keep the saffron, yeah? What's, why is there a shortage or are they? Big ticket item, maybe. Who's stealing a thermometer? What a nerdy thing to steal, don't you think? Oh, would you haul? Oh, boy, I got sick shoggleby.

Oh, well, I got a fucking rinket. I'm like, yeah. Like, okay, so I was pretending like I hadn't just vomited everywhere. Mm-hmm. And it goes well. Yeah. And so they've just pushed on.

Yeah. Bravely. You got to. And I was getting to the will you marry me part at the end. The big beard, the buildup, yeah. So I finally get there and then I vomited again. Again. Yeah.

Oh, fuck. If you can't recover. If you can recover the first time, you certainly can't recover for the second time. Like, if you get away with the first one, okay, but the second one, someone's going, okay, I've got to intervene here. And it wasn't just after he said it. I was about to get to, like, now this. So did it happen? Do we know what happened?

I think this is really sweet. Oh, okay. She patted me on the back of the head and said, I think you're proposing. and yes, I'll marry you, sweetie, but let's get you back to the room and all cleaned up. I think you're proposing. That is so sweet. That is really sweet.

I'll pat on the head while he's down there. You're... What? Ryan, you miss it, but I... Big announcement. Wiley down there. My name's Kaylee from Kent in England. Hi, I'm Jameson Melville.

This is staff from Willong, Australia, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Sorry, I'm just going to read the Champion Taras from Patreon. I haven't laughed that hard all year. Thanks, Charles. Thank you. No, that was a real laugh. That came out of him.

That was a real laugh. A few of our Champion Tarpers who might like what's coming. Nelson Silvara. Thank you Nelson. Thank you Nelson. Sarah. Good on you, Sarah. I wonder if he's related to Nelson from the Simpsons.

Ha ha. Wow. Do a better one. Do a better ha-ha. I'm not the audio queen of the group. Do you think you could do a good one, but? Absolutely not. Do you reckon you could do one, Charles?

Actually, we all should do one. Yeah, we, I think it's fair. You go again. Ha-ha! No, that was Marge. Ha-ha. Oh, no. I fucked it.

Next. Ha ha ha ha. That was real. That's ruined my year. I'm actually. That's ruined my year. Oh my God. Closer.

That's a donkey. That is a, I'm doing a donkey. You're doing. Yeah. Yeah. Ha ha ha. That's getting there. The first one was fucking absolutely terrible.

Someone who hasn't watched this instance. Oh, terrible. I don't know what you're talking about. And we knew that you hadn't watched it. We shouldn't have asked you. Yeah, that's unfair. John Fulkes Ortiz. Good on you, John.

Anika, Angelique Hermann's, ACDs from PEI, love it. Michelle Robles, love to see it. Michelle, thank you. Claudia Henzler, Seven Stark, Georgian Britt. Georgian Britt, you guys, we said it yesterday. Elizabeth Brown, love you, Elizabeth.

And Hannah Grigoryaidis. Grigig. Hannah. Griggy. Grigsie. Griggy. Griggo. Now, you've seen the episode title.

You've seen the realistic trees we've brought in. And this has actually been a little secret we've been keeping from everybody else. The champion Tarpers in Patreon have known this for a little mini. Since mid-December. Sorry, this is just so fucking exciting that I actually need to take a little quick, deep breath. Okay. Tony and I are going to Fiji and we want. you to come with us.

And not just one of you. You, not just two of you. You and a plus one and a whole bunch of other people. Eight tarppers each bringing a plus one, wherever you are in the world, we're bringing you over. We want you to come with us to Fiji. If you don't know what Fiji is, beautiful tropical islands. Think about the...

The bluest water you've ever seen, double it. Isn't it the bluest water you've seen? Fresh fish. The most beautiful people you've ever met. Like a fucking legit El Paradiso. Bula. Bula. Bula.

Now there's going to be, we're all staying in the same resort together. Yep. So we booked out half the place. I will see you at the breakfast buffet. I will hold your plate as you load up the hash browns. Fuck yeah. I will kiss you. Good night.

Oh. Are we, I can't promise that. I can't promise that legally. Can I have one? Yep. As long as you don't mind it, not on your head. Now, one specific person we need on this trip.

Yes. Is someone who with me can test the cocktails to make sure they're fine for everyone else. I could come. Can I come? Yeah. I won't test a cocktail. Sorry. No.

So it's very... You'll taste my cocktail though, won't you? We are... Cool sidebar. Oh, my God. Recording episodes of the beach. Come on down and be part of it. The beach, yep.

So we're going to record some episodes. So you'll be there with us while we record. What else are we going to do? Probably record a legit DCI, which is a secret video show just for Patreon. Yeah. So it's very exciting stuff. We're going to take eight traveling tarpas with us and they're plus ones.

So you have to be a champion tarpa to sign up. Yep. There is, we're doing it in rounds. So there'll be eight rounds in total. Yep. And if you want to check out. any of the T's and Cs before you sign up and you just want to make sure that like the dates work for you and things like that.

It'll be in late November. All of the information the T's and Cs are in our link tree, so you can access that before you even sign up. Yep. Now, round one has been one. It has. Tomorrow we are announcing the round one winner. Oh my God.

Round two is open right now and it's open for the rest of the month. So come on into Patreon. Yeah. Patreon. Every month there's going to be a new round. And a new question. New question. And it's a 25 words or less.

The old faithful. 25 words or less. So you can answer the question the best way that you can and we'll pick a winner based on that. Yep. It's so, so exciting. Yeah. And so throughout the year there's going to be rounds. Pop, you're coming.

You're coming. You're coming. And bring you plus one. And it really is as easy as that. Yeah. Let's not forget as well that if you sign up to be a champion Tapa to try and come on this trip with us, you're also in the Patreon. So you can access the last four years' worth of stuff that's in there.

You can message us directly. Like, there are other parts of the thing. Question. You know, question. It's been really hot in Melbourne. Hot as far. I believe there is a vlog of Tony Lodge going swimming. There is.

How much Tony do we see in that vlog? Quite a few. So Charles goes... Yeah, yeah. Say less. Say, same. And I went, oh, okay, cool. And I went, oh, okay, cool.

The video is in there. right in there. Yeah. The part where I'm swimming away. Yeah. Tonleyfans.com. Can we get that? Tonleyfans.com and it redirects to the Patreon.

Charles, that'll work right now. That'll work by then. Tomorrow. Beep, beep, beep. Tonleyfans.com. Tomorrow. Round one invitation going out. Yes.

Yep. And round two is open right now. Our first travelling tarpa. Yeah. And so you could be a traveling tarpa, like Tony said. There's going to be eight traveling tarppers. If that's you, you and your plus one, wherever you are in the world, we'll fly to Fiji, we'll put you up in the hotel. We're going to be there.

We're hanging out all week together. Yeah, and we'll fly to Fiji. We'll also fly you home, just so that there's no questions about that. You know what? Thank you for clarifying. We'll get your home as well. Yeah, we're not going to leave your hanging. Could you imagine that?

I can you imagine if you enter some random competition on the internet and you're just like, Win a trip to here. Yeah. Asteris. Yeah. And to here, that's what we said. I hope you like it there. Technically.

Could you live there now? Yeah. I hope you got more than six months on your basketball because you're going to be there for a while. Mabel loves saying, Bula and Venaka. I don't know if you know. Have we discussed this or discussed if we're going to. Mabes is in.

Too bad. She can sign up to the Patreon and hope she wins a ticket. You know what? She's got it too good. Good. So when she goes, I'd like to go, I don't say, yeah, I go, yeah. Patreon.com. 25 words or less.

How many do you know? She just rides Buller and I go, oh, yeah, okay. Fiji, man, you know what it's like to miss out on Fiji. Yeah, I do. That's why I'm going to cut as many people out as possible so they feel what I felt. Last year we were planning going to Fiji. Tony broke her foot and was like, oh, no, now we can't all go. And we went, oh, well.

Oh, no. I did not say that. But Tony couldn't go because you broke her foot. And then unfortunately, Charles, Lily, myself, my wife, Bridgett and my daughter Mabel had to go and have a terrible time without her. Thank you for that. So this is my redemption arc. Yeah. But if you want to come along, you want to be part of the fun.

You can, all the links will be in there. Does Bridget need to join Patreon? I know this is supposed to be exciting about a big type of family trip, but I feel like. like. Yeah, Tapper family. Oh, oh,

see, it's the fine print gets you every time. Tees and Cs are about. Maybe it's to read the T's and C's. Yeah.

She's got it too good back. Yeah, see, none of us get a plus one, just the Tarpers. That's the whole thing. Really? Yes.

Are you joking? I'm actually not. And because we've booked two, three bedroom apartments for like, you, Tommy and Charles and then me,

Lily and Danny, like that's the like it's done it's booked it's too like logistics chat we've got to do our ins and out

yeah okay my in is checking the fine print before hitting a record yeah no good what did I put down should we

okay actually though so all of that's very exciting if you've got any questions you can ask them all of the information is there though so you can familiarize yourself with that But if you don't win one round, like you've got more chances.

Yeah, eight people throughout the year. And it's going to be at the end of the year. And we're going to, yeah, have rounds throughout the year. Yeah. If there are questions, message in Patreon, message in the DMs. And then in a few days, we do a big like F-A-Q-U sort of. Yeah, love it. Yeah.

And we can try and cross up many things as we can. Okay. Yeah. I think I just need to take a deep breath because I think I've sidetracked myself with the no plus ones and forgotten about how crazy it is that we're going to Fiji. Yeah. There's a fucking palm. tree next to me and we're wearing tropical shoes.

Like it's fun. What drink should be the first drink we have when we arrive? My goal this year, it's not on my ins and outs. What are my goals this year? No, no, no. I really want to drink something out of a pineapple. I've never done that before. This is the place.

I know. Although, not that we can't do the pineapple, but like, coconuts, pineapples. What's the best drinking fruit? I don't know, but I could do both. But I really want to drink something out of a pineapple. pineapple because I've never done that before. What did I order?

Do you think I could get something non-alcoholic in a pineapple? I reckon you can get a mocktail. Yeah, that's good. Or even if it's just like a, yeah, a pineapple juice base mothtail like little thing. Yum. I'll make that my mission while I'm in Fiji. Thank you, Charles. So do you recall when I was drinking out of a coconut in the pool and then I ordered a shot of rum

and then tried to pour it into the coconut? Yeah. And remember how the coconuts came and then the shots came separately? Yeah. They didn't like mix the forehead. I thought they were going to put the shots in there. Oh. So like here's your coconut full of coconut water and here's a shot of rum and I was like,

oh, I meant like. Oh. Yeah. But did you just add it? I put the rum in the coconut and drink it. You had to like sip the coconut water down to them put it in because it was like, oh, because it actually. Yeah.

And then I drank too much of the coconut water and then I was just drinking straight rum out of the coconut. And coconut water tastes like jizz. So it's just like, oh. Yeah. And that was just, was that just before or after we played pool volleyball and Lily. age 30 smashed the volleyball into

Mabel's face two years old. That's why she can't come. It's not safe. I think maybe that's Mabel assumed she was coming because she's like, well, I've got to get revenge on that.

Yeah, I'm ready to go. Okay, so, but we actually, very serious business, we've got our ins and outs for the year. Should we start without outs? Is that because you want to finish more positive?

Yeah, I feel like, does that feel more fun? Yeah. Or are we going to go like out, out, out, out, In, in, out, out, out in or something. Let's go outs to start. Okay.

Tony Lodge, what is out for you in 2020 Twix? Out for me in 2026? Bananas. I'm absolutely sick to fucking death of these unripe little and then you spend two days with a minter bag and then you open the bag up. They're overripe and they turn on you like an absolute imposter. I'm absolutely sick of it. I will not this year let a banana enter my home.

I bet it's the heartbreak. I can't take it anymore. I am blown away. I would say bananas are the people's fruit because everyone loves bananas. I love them, but I have been heartbroken too many times. I spend money on bananas.

They're not ripe yet. And then they all of a sudden are fucked. Why don't you buy ones that are ready and then eat them? But they never are. Where are you shopping? Well, just some of my woolies. Is that my problem? But no, I think I've just got to give up on bananas

because they just, they are never right. Can we? And hey, we're here to support each other. It's a safe place. And if you're done with bananas, then you're done with bananas. Yeah.

I feel like, and only because you've earlier said the words redemption arc, whether it's January 1 next year or the last, like, I feel like if they're out for this year, they need a chance to win you back at some stage. Or maybe is it just, that because I love banana.

It's not that I, I want to love them, but I don't think maybe they love me. Because they reject me at all points. And I just feel triggered by the bananas at all times. Maybe I need just a 12 month hiatus from the bananas. Because sometimes you're too close. Distance makes the heart grow fonder.

Absolutely. And you, like your wife when we leave her at home when we go to Fiji. You'll love each other even more when you get back. and she'll love that I'm on a tropical island without her working hard oh it's a work trip sweetheart yeah see you oh work trip why are you taking that bottle of rum on a coconut oh don't bring it we'll get it duty free why you cheaper so true so you gotta think like a winner yeah yep so bananas for me they're my first out my ends for the year is thinking

like a winner love it love it that should be in every year my One of my outs for 2020 tweaks is discriminating against towels. Not approved. I thought being the nice, fun guy that I am, I would buy new towels for the bathrooms in the office. And I'm like, yeah, I'll get some fun, colorful ones. No one asked you too and we didn't need them. So keep going. Yeah, because sometimes

It's called Spin it out Being proactive Oh my god Oh no one asked Yeah, I just went ahead and did it Because I love you guys So this is a bit like how yesterday you lie

I'm not gonna get that It's very much like that So the bathroom's kind of grey And I was like you know what Maybe I'll get some pink fun towels To just like brighten up the room Make it a bit more exciting The bathroom

Oh sure And So you'd buy a bath towel For that So because I wanted them to be bright and colorful, it turns out that bright and colorful towers are usually like a beach towel. But who the fuck cares? Because a towel is a towel.

You could not be more... And you could not be more... And you know how I know that you live and die by this because you wiped your ass with a hand towel out of hairdresser's house. So I know that you don't discriminate, but the rest of us humans here on Earth. We do because sometimes it's a difference between putting your shitty ass on someone's bath towel. What happened on one of the most traumatic moments of my life is not relevant to the conversation about drying our hands in the bathroom with a fun, colorful towel.

If you think you can walk in here and say the word towel without everyone thinking that, you're in the wrong place. You know what? I don't discriminate against towels. dry his hands with it, wipe your ass with it if you want a fun and colourful one because you are fun and colourful and I'm trying to support you're happy I appreciate it

happy, happy go lucky lifestyle and I'm like you know what would make Tony happy some fun pink towels in the bathroom Well my apologinos because heaven forbid it's too thick and repels sand even though you don't need it to repel sand it still dries your hand

which is the point of the fucking towel It actually doesn't dry your hand Every time I go down Turn day you need to wash them twice before you use them Because they're too soft They're a bit soapy still Yeah, they still slide.

Yeah. Yeah, I got some for home and had the same fight at home. Yeah. I will say, I really do like the thick towel. Thank you, Charles. Because when I was blowing these up yesterday, heaps of water came out of them and I needed something to wipe it up. And the thick towel actually worked really well.

You know, the other part of the towels that Ryan's leaving out is that them, how much did the towels cost? How much did the towels that no one likes and we didn't need costs? They're on fucking sale because. It was a Them being on sale Doesn't mean they didn't cost Friday sale

From our good friends at homey Doesn't mean they didn't cost 400 dollars Homie don't fucking miss out Do they? They don't miss out They see you coming Yeah they do

And it's worth it For the thickness They're a beautiful colour And they would be great To take to the beach I'm just saying it's not a bath towel Out for 2026 And it literally says on at beach towel

Because you can dry your hands at the beach You can dry your body at the beach You can dry your hands in a bathroom You can mop up stuff when your so-called fake plant need water in the bottom to hold it up. Yeah, not so fake now, full of water. We don't discriminate against towels. Oh, it's a hand towel. Oh, you're only using it on your hair.

It's a bath towel. I only see it's next to the bath. Oh, I'm so picky about fucking everything. No, out for 2026 discrimination. Okay. Well, I have to accept it because it's your hour. But I think that's fine. I might just get myself my own towel for in there.

That... You look so hurt. Why are you so hurt? You're not just going to discriminate so you can't discriminate against my fit for purpose towel. You getting your own is so offensive. Okay. Imagine this.

Yeah. Some guy is doing a... Some guy? He's giving you a bit of a hand dance. And you just go, no. You sit over there. I'll just do it myself. And I would.

Mate, would you get out of an Uber if they wasn't driving? You know what I'm saying? Would you get out of an Uber if it wasn't driving? Like if it wasn't taking you where he needed to go, you know what I mean? Yeah. Sit down, mate. I got it. No one knows what you like better than you.

I've got another. I've got another out. I don't know today was going to be so traumatic. Yeah, sorry. This one I don't think you're going to like and I don't think Charles is going to like either. Out for me for 2020. dark mode on my fucking phone and screens. I can't do it.

I'm a light mode bitch and I just have been living through it trying to look cool and have my dark mode on. I hate it. It's all about looking cool. It's just so much easier for your eyes. No, it's the opposite for me. I don't know if it's because of like wearing glasses. I'd love to know if other glasses wearers also struggle with dark mode, but I can't do

it. And all this time I've been sitting at my laptop and whatever and like really struggling. I changed it over and I haven't been the same since. Light mode for life. Out. Dark mode. I can't do it. This is going to be a big year for a...

It is. And I've changed all my devices now except for the iPark because I didn't know how to do it. So this is still on dark mode. So I put it down so that for my prop wasn't antagonizing my idea. But... This is a big thing to say to a best friend who we're into year five of doing this show together.

It feels like this could be a make or break of you for us. But I love it. Well, you're hoping it makes, but I'm just saying like, there's, shit's on the line. It's going to make. Because at the end of the day, we love each other. And that's all that matters. And we'll support each other not eating bananas.

I will support you and use light mode and you will use whatever. You don't need to use light mode? No, because I support you. No, but you don't need. No, no, no, no. I'm actually a good friend. Oh, you just want me to use your fucking shit down. Like shit towel or shit towel

Both could be true Um Out for me Yep And I haven't done this This is me telling everyone else It's out Okay

FaceTiming in public Without headphones or earpieces Oh yeah Fucking sleigh Fuck right off I know It's not good is it I just

Fuck off It's shocking It's like suddenly I'm keeping it down or getting out of the background for you and we're on a train together. I know and you're just like, oh, sorry, am I in there? Am I allowed to be here on this train? Because I'm on public transport, but I feel like I'm in your private conversation. And all of a sudden you're like, I know all about your cousin George's breakup.

And I feel like I know too much. Cousin George is breaking up. Oh, sorry, no. She's getting married next week. This week. Oh, my. Friday. Well, Charles and I were sitting.

out somewhere and there was like a guy sitting behind us and he was on his phone on loudspeaker the whole time. We sat there for like an hour and a half. Like we were eating and whatever and this like literally the whole time was sitting there on his phone. It was just too much. That's fucked out. And we were just like and you kind of feel like you can't then make noise because

like someone's on the, you feel weird about it. Hey, Charles. And he goes, he's like, oh, sorry, I want to call. Oh yeah, we know. We know. Now, that's a good out, I think. Yeah, I'm done with them. All right.

Inns. In. Using towels. In for me for 2026? Shopping in store. Have you heard this one before? I think I've talked about how I think on the show I said, I've got a hack so you don't have to wait for shipping.

Shopping in store, which, you know, is the OG hack. because it was the only one that was available. Shopping in store, mainly J.B. High-Fi. I have made the discovery that I think that J.B. High-Fi is the number one most trustworthy store that exists. Holy shit, dude. I mean, I'm not disagreeing, but just like, what a huge call to say that anyone's the best. I think that...

What is it about J.B. High-Fi? Okay. I'm glad that you asked. The staff always amazing. This is not sponsored, by the way. I'm just a huge fan of J.B. High-Fi. The staff are always really well informed, but they're not pushy.

They're chill when you ask them a question. They're like, oh, yeah, like, blah is so good with the coffee machines. Let me help you out. When you go to the counter, they're not like, buy back. They got their shit down pat. They always know what they're doing. How do you feel when you buy it off someone and they give you a ticket and you have to like do that a little bit? The ticket?

Like you get the coffee machine and the guy goes, oh, he's the little, oh, they write a little note. And then you've got to pass a note to the other guy. Oh, get a life. Yeah. That's very Harvey Norman. Yeah. That's not. The other thing about J.B.

Hi-Fi. The personal touch with the handwritten notes. You know how all through the store and like on the front of the store there's like the big hand like permanent marker signs? Yeah. I love it. I know that someone there has like fucking gotten the Sharpie out and done that. That's a big job because there's a lot of stuff to write. Yeah.

And it's really. thick marker. That might be a two-man job. And look at that teamwork that we're seeing in action. How many Sharpies would a J.B. Highforce Firestore go through in a year? Fuck, I couldn't even tell you. It would be millions.

I reckon that Australia-wide, they would be going through. Yeah. Bridgett's, my wife's off Sharpies. Yeah. And she's fucking losing it, dude. I don't know about that. Let's not take it to Fiji. You know?

You know what? Let's not. And you know how also in Javis? be high-fi. They've got sometimes like the staff recommendations at the little card and it's like, oh, Mel from the front counter loved this album because of X, Y, Z. And they've got the little recommendations like near the DVDs and the vinals and stuff. I like that. That it's very good, personal touch. You just know that people care about the story. They care about where they work. So. And they care about their customers, but they're not very pushy.

Let me just clarify a few things. Are you saying that instead of buying a, electronics online, you would rather go in store to JB. Or are you just going to go to J.B. Have a look. Yeah. Mall around. What are you doing today on a Saturday? I'll go for a bill around the J.B.

HighFi. See what Mel recommends? Yeah. From this point on, if something is available at a J.B. Hi-Fi, I will purchase it from a J.B. Hi-Fi store. That can extend to click and collect, I feel. Like, I could, like, make sure that that's not it.

Oh, mine energy. No, no, no, but make sure that they've got it. No. Just go to a different jabber. If I haven't got it. No, he's looking to the store. They'll figure it out. If they haven't got it, what a treat.

I get to go to a second JBA. High Fire. You're so right. Well, they'll call it the counter and go, oh, there's one at it's Epping. Do you want to get that we'll ship it in? Yep. Or I go to Epping because I go two JBs in one day. What a fucking delight.

In for me, 2026. Shopping in store at J.B. High-Fi. Can I give it out bananas? A wild recommendation. Please. J.B. Hi-Fi in Ballarat.

It's a huge J.B. Hi-Fi. Yeah. I've had some of my best days in that J-B-Fi. That's a lot of what? Yeah. Oh, because when I used to live out in Beauford, Oh, was that like you closest.

Driving into the big smoke of Ballarat was huge. And then going to that J.B. Hi-Fi just really set up. It's a big fucking J-B-Fi. Is that right near the Ryan's IG? Is that on that same strip? I feel like it is. It's the next to the train station.

I've been to Ballerer. at once. Oh, here we go. Oh, and where is the Ryan's IGA? Where is the Ryan's RGA? Oh, no. Oh, that couldn't be further away. Oh, no.

No, that might fucking come round. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you'd continue up there. You would continue up there. You would continue up there. Right near the Pizza Hut Ballarat dine in. All you can eat. Oh, my.

God. Should we move to Ballarat? I'd go to Ballarat before I went to Liverpool. They're not that far apart from each other in Venice, if quite far inland. Do you have an in for 2026, right? Now, this is actually a bit of a big personal update. Oh my God. What is it? I love how enthusiastic you probably already know. So I'm so supportive.

In for me in 2026 is pickleball. I love it. Yes, this is a great personal update. I played pickleball once and I was like, this is for me. This is my new personality. Yes, I love it. I can confirm that for Christmas,

my mum got me my own paddle. Does it say Ryan on it? No, but it could. They're very craftable. I could do that on my cricket for you. That would be sick. It's actually huge and bright and pink, my paddle. That's so fun.

Yeah, I could do that. I have played. four or five times this year already. Fuck yeah. That's awesome. I'm on two different apps. I'm playing at three different clubs. Shout out pickle palace.

Shout out pickleball Manningham. RIP my Instagram because I'm just going to exclusively pickle from now on. How wonderful. Yeah. I'm still getting confused about pickleball and paddle ball and what's a difference and which one to say. Yeah. What's paddle ball? And there's also Padel.

Paddle. Isn't that the same thing as Padel? paddle, but people just call it differently. What's paddle board? Ball. Stand up paddle board. Well, there's all these different variations, but I'm pickleball. Oh, and you've got to have your...

Stay true. Yeah. Because they're all slightly different, which I don't get. Yeah, I didn't know. I just played pickleball once with my brothers and was like, this who I am now. No, that's so... I love that you've been back. Yep.

That's awesome. Yep. So big year for pickleball. Huge year for pickleball. I'm going to play 50 times this year. I love that. And you've already done it. Yep, piss it in.

What else is in for you, Tony? My second in for 2026 is being a hot slut. For the 30 second year in a row. Doesn't say we can't use them twice. What's your definition of being hot. I'm just going to be a hot slut this year. I'm just a hot slot. How so?

I don't know. I think in every way possible. I just think would... What's your definition of a hot slug? Well, I think would a hot slut do that? And if they would, then same. I think I want to have hot slut energy. I think I'm just going to have the best year of my life.

I'm fucking ready. I'm welcoming the energy in. And also... What would a hot slut do? Well, so this kind of came about because I watched the F1 movie with Brad Pitt in it. Is that good? That, oh, it's really, really good. I think, though, I have heard that if you're hell into F1, it's a bit like there's some

liberties taken. Yeah, okay. But as like a casual F1, enjoyer. Like I watch drive to survive. I've been to the F1 before. I really like it. I'm a car guy.

So I like that sign of it more than I care about it as like a, like, then I know the ins and the outs of the sport or whatever. But the movie was really fun. And right in the beginning, he like drives in a Porsche race first, which is very my area. And then he does the F1. But Brad Pitt in that movie, he is 61. this

has more muscles than a fucking boat like on the bottom maybe muscles would like congregate barnacles oh

it was pretty funny though if it worked yeah yeah okay anyway but more muscles than a rock more muscles than the rock

nice yeah but he's fucking out hool-mole talk about being a hot slut in 2026 oh so you'd

Brad Pitt's being a hot slap. Yeah. Oh, you're a hot slut for Brad Pitt. Well, I just think that whatever he's doing, I should start doing. Driving F1 cars, being a billionaire. Yeah. You know. Sure.

Probably has a pool. That sounds good. I reckon he does have a pool. Fuck, he would too. You know what? Actually, this is part of being a hot slut, I think. I have been wet every day this year. year so far.

Really? Including going to like public pool, going to the beach or having a dip like in our spa outside, which I'm going to include. Yep. Because like have a little plunge at the end of the day. Talks and I, you know what we've been doing. Cracker DC in the spa at the end of the day. And we've got it turned down.

So it's not hot. It's like a cold plunge. Bloody nice. That's what a hot slut would do. Is this, um, because you've had that for a while, but the skit, like, because my skin was. It wasn't great. But now you're back.

So because my psoriasis, I couldn't sit in like a chlorine buff. Yeah, but now it's okay. But now I can. Yeah. This is the year of you being a hot side. I know. I like it. I've been wet every day.

Not today yet, but still time. Oh, there's heaps time. Yeah. You, mate. Do you know what else I've been doing? I've been utilising the whole day. Like, I haven't been going like, oh, the work day's over like time off. I've been like, okay, work's finished.

Like, what can I do now? Like, I've been like trying to not just like sit on the couch and stuff. I also have my phone, if I open Instagram or anything, it asks me a really, really hard maths question. And if I don't get it right, I can't look at Instagram. First of all, can you choose the levels of difficulty? You can. You can.

So mine is set to zero to a thousand, like a number between zero to a thousand, plus a number between zero and a thousand. So it doesn't, it's not, it's like doable. But sometimes I look at the numbers and go, And it means I don't scroll on Instagram. It's really working. What's that app called? Oh, it's like a shortcut you can set up in your Apple phone,

like in your iPhone. Oh, right. It's did it for me. In that. Yeah, and I've had it on there since the 27th of December, and it's still going strong. Imagine if by the end of the year you're like brain rock because you're on all of the apps,

but you're also a PhD mathematics. They're all good at adding. It's like duolingo from math. I'm on a street. I get better. every day. All right. Do you have one more in?

My final in. Now, I think I've been doing this. Like, I think I do this. Love it. But I want to do it more. Like me being a hot slot. Yeah.

Yep. Yeah. In for this year is DMing people you like and telling them that you like them. Bitch, yes. Yeah. I've become a commenter. Welcome. When I see something I hear.

hell like. I go, yes, love it. Yeah. So who's the guy I like, bangers, sangers? What's that guy's name? Bang and Sangers. Bang and Sangers. Yeah. He's an English dude and he lives in Melbourne and he and he just eats sandwiches. And he reviews him and he goes, this is the best one. Yeah, so good. And doesn't he just seem like the biggest ledge ever? Yeah. Taubs sends me his videos all the time. Yeah. So I just DMed him the other day and said, hey bro. Love your shit. Just love your shit. Keep it up. Fucking thanks with being alleged. That's all. How nice of you. That's it. That's what I mean. This year is the year of just DMing people and going, hey, hey, love that shit. Keep it up. I'm not asking for anything. I don't need anything. I'm not

fucking selling anything. Yes. I'm not asking you to do anything. I don't care if you follow me back. Like, you know how there's a bit of that? I'm just loving one out there saying, keep that shit up, son. That's awesome. So in for this year is telling people you like that you like them. And Tony Lodge, I like you. I like you. You hot slut. Thank you. That's in for this year. Is it, you can be in for this year?

Is it an undertone, um, just the word slut? Because Danny started working with us and you said her job title could be busy slut and then we had to like redact that from her contract. You remember? Deleted out of their emails. But do you remember that conversation?

I do. Um, no, and slut is the term of indiam and everyone knows that. Yeah. Um, but I just think it's really tickling my. We'll tell that to the fucking HR lawyer. I know.

Well, that's me. Um, I think that what's tickling my clitor. at the moment is just like being a hot slut. And I think that that just really tells the whole story. When you think about it, you don't really need to ask any questions because it does what it says on the tent. You are what you are in this world.

You just get it. You know? And you do. Yeah. I just think like I want to have hot energy, say yes to people, say yes to things. Say yes to opportunities. Eat good food. Hang out with my friends.

Do more stuff. A lot of ins. Sorry, it's a lot of stuff. A lot of ins. Charles, you've written this down? Yeah. Yeah. Okay. See you on the last show of the year.

Oh yeah. Last year, Charles just had to listen back. Today's been a long episode, so... Lots of happening. I've got a quick you love to see it, though. I've got a long one. This is Jody Laird, who's the Tapa. Hi, Jodes.

What's she going to do this year? Because her 2025 is insane. I paid off my home at the end of 2025. Congratulations. Jody, that's huge. I'm a single mom and self-employed. worked my ass off to make this happen for me and my son. I'm 33 years old.

Couldn't be more proud Merry fucking New Year to me. Holy shit. Jody, fuck me up. More like Woldy. It is more like that when you think about it. At the end of the day, it is more like Woldy. Yeah. Jody, you mean Woldy.

Tony, you mean Holtie. Ryan, you mean... Not discriminating against towels. I've got a you love to see it here from Jess. Jessica Godgeo. Got you girl. She sent this sort on Patreon and we've been chatting back with and forwards. Then she emailed me a bunch of pictures

because this is so sweet. Jess says, my boyfriend, or should I say, fiancé proposed to me on Christmas Eve. Beautiful. Did he throw up in the sand? No, no vomit, thankfully. Jess says his daughter was there and she was so excited. She's seven and she knew he was going to do it and kept to the secret all that time, which is huge.

Dude, kids fucking snitch. You got to be careful. Yeah, you do. He gave Jess a box with a note being like, oh, would you like to come to this ticketed event with me? And she was like, what? She opened it up and he'd had made a ticket stub. I've got it here.

Oh, oh, no. Oh, she's in dark mode. It's in dark mode. So it says here, it's very sweet. A proper ticket, we'll pop it on the screen. A proper ticket, VIP admission to the Forever Tour for Jessica Goddew. Will you marry me forever yours? The Forever Tour?

That looks incredible. How'd you do that? It's the internet. But I got this email to me. Yeah. Are you in my emails? I've got access to your notion. It's my notions.

Oh my gosh. Oh my God. Isn't that so sweet? The Forever Tour. That is beautiful. The own row A1. And so what I especially love about this is that the kid was involved. That she knew and kept the secret.

And was the kid there? Yes, the kid was there. Yeah. So are we picking up a vibe for like kids being there? No. I'm not picking that up at all. Like, you know, like doing big stuff and like taking your family. Is that like a bit of a vibe this year?

No. I'm not getting out at all because this was like. year. Jess says, of course I said yes. He also gave me a Christmas ornament with the year we got it. It's like with our names on it. And it says like the year we got engaged Stephen and Jessica December 2025. So like they put that then because it was on Christmas Eve.

They then put that on their Christmas tree. That's beautiful. Isn't that so sweet. Congratulations. That's like really adorable. Thank God it wasn't Lord tickets because we wouldn't be able to go. We wouldn't have gone. Yeah.

We would have tried. We would have really tried our best a few times. So thank you for sharing that. And if you've got to love to see it that you want to flick through, there's like a thing in our Facebook group or you can send on Patreon, we'd love to hear it. Yep.

Now, have a great day, everyone. Sorry for such a long episode. What are we at, Charles? Just over 50 minutes. Fuck me, dead. You know what it's time for? A nice fucking coffee. Yeah.

Fuck yeah. Nice. Yeah. Yeah. Love you so much. We've got to go. Love you, bye. Bye.

Bye, see you tomorrow. Love you, bye.