Toni and Ryan - CONFESSION: I Hooked Up With The Wrong Twin

Episode Date: May 11, 2026

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I went to a colleague's hen party where I learned she was a twin. One thing led to another in a fancy bathroom stall. This is when all hell brokeless. Hi, I'm Jamie from Ipswich, Strait. I'm Suez from Belfast, Ireland. Hi, I'm Kristen from Boston, Massachusetts, USA. And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

This is Dr. Orth, bestselling Dr. Arthur, Tony Lodge. My name is Ryan, and I got beef with the postal people. Post. Yesterday I wanted to leave the house and go to the gym. Thank you. Please applaud me. Thank you very much. We're wearing a matching outfit, I just realized.

Yeah, because I love to you so fucking much. I love that jumper that you got in New York. New York. Now, I get texts every three minutes from the delivery company. Coming around the corner. It's now being here. Your two stops away. Yeah, me, me, me, me, me.

Here's a tracking device or something. And it's like, you need to be home because you need to sign for. for this one. Totally. And I was like... And was Bridge Home or like you had to sign? Well, she was out. Yeah. She was at the dentist and I was like, oh. Oh my God. Yeah. Gym and dentist. Yeah, clean teeth and Jack. That's just how you describe our family actually. Shit, that's awesome. So I wanted to go to the gym and I'm like, oh, well, I'm going to have to wait for this package because I need to sign for it because, you know, I don't want to be the guy who received 47 text messages and still wasn't there. And still fucked it up. And then I waited all the

afternoon. Oh, just around the corner. Well, fucking how many corners, dog? Because no, clearly not correct information. Yeah. I sat there all day and then suddenly it's like, I'm probably not going to get to the gym before I have to pick up Mabel from daycare. Yeah. And then I see B.J. who's sitting in front of the fire, tough life, my dog, and just sort of he goes like, kind of looks up and goes, and then just puts his head back down in the fryer. And you're like, oh, okay. Thanks for letting me know. I think someone might have walked up the street and just enough for him to prick an ear up. And so I walk up the front door.

The package is just sitting on the doorstep. After 27 texts saying, you must be home, we will not leave it. You must sign blah, blah, blah. I don't even think the guy got out of his car. He's just like, they just lob it down the way.

He's hoofed it out the window. And I was like, well, if I know you were hoofed it, because I also don't give a fuck about that, that's fine. Yeah. I would have been at the gym already. Yeah. And I've been waiting around because of your aggressive... I wonder how long have been sitting there for?

No, like, that's why BJ... Oh, that was the... Yeah, because I kind of saw the guy drive off and I kind of went, oh, you know, you want to give that... Thank you. Because how much more annoying would it have been? If you go, fuck it, I'm just going to go to the gym and then you'd seen it on the door and been like, well, I wonder how long that's been sat there for. Yeah, but I was like, I would have gone to the gym and not been sitting here.

Hostage in my own house. But that's how it feels. And the guys, he doesn't give a... No, they don't care. And also, if the, when they go, oh, and the window is between 11 and 1, and you go, okay, well, I'll make sure I don't book anything then. I'll make sure I'm home. And then it either comes at 10 or 3. So.

And you go, well, the very nature of a window is that it is not flexible. Otherwise, it's not a window. It's just a fucking tap on a door. Like, a window, like the nature of a window is that it is not flexible. Like, is it too much of a visual guide for me to stand facing the wall and stare at it and say, I'm looking at a window. I mean, no, because you've explained it now. Yeah, I'm not going to get out. You could do it if you are.

I'm not going to go. I just, that's what frustrates me is that I go like, well, if it's a window. The amount of text and security, it was as if I'd, it was a famous jewel that's been uncovered from under the ground in fucking Egypt. And it was worth, like, it's something that would be stolen in a, uh, uh, uh, The mummy. Yeah. Yeah. So true.

Or a national treasure. Yeah. Nicholas Cage. Nicholas Cage would be in it. Brendan Fraser would be in it. Yeah. And maybe Matt Damon, Brad Pitt and George Clooney would try to steal it with their Oceans 11. That's funny.

And I would watch that. What was it? A pair of jeans. You know what? I reckon that'll be fine in the bag out of the front for half an hour. You know? Jeans feels like a crazy one to need to sign for. That's what I meant.

I'm like, it's a fucking pair of jeans. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think it's fine. I'll make my own fucking jeans. Well, you won't. I will not do that. You won't.

Yeah, that's okay. I will never do that. I would never do that. Sorry, I'm just upset. I'm like, you could. Yeah. Tony could make that. I could make some jeans.

Are we going to use on the internet, the Levi's ad that you accidentally made yesterday? Yes. I'm going to tag him. Be like. Tony was. Twirking. Twirking. Yeah.

I'm not very good. I just kind of shake my whole body. Yeah, we shake her whole body. The ass is bumping up and down in front of the cameras. And then we realised we could see the little Levi attack. I'm like, this should be an ad for them. I just look like I have a cute, thick little butt. And you're right.

Thank you so much. I'm waiting for a compliment face is getting too. Hello. Hello? These are top confession. Aren't they? Please send your confession through to tony and ryan.com. They are annoyingly anonymous.

We cannot find out who sent it. You don't have to put in an email address or anything. You just send your story and submit. And let us know. Forgive me tarpers for I have sinned. I went to a colleague's hen party where I learned she was a twin. Oh, whoa. Hang about.

Yeah. You can't, you don't find out someone. Like, they tell you. That's crazy. They've been a twin their whole life. It's not new news for them. New news! Like if you worked with someone, you wouldn't be like, by the way, do you have any siblings that are the exact same age?

Like, you would just go about your day. No, but I reckon if you're at the stage where you're invited to their hen party, which is like a private event. Yeah. I think that you would know enough about them to know whether they had a sibling or whatever and they'd go, my twin sister or twin brother or whatever. I reckon that you would know that, don't you think? So she rocks up and goes, oh, there's another one, you know? What a shock. Have you ever been, I know that we've heard some twin stories in our time.

And we're about to hear another one. But have you ever been like surprised or confused by twin? Ashton Coochers' twin. What? Ashton Coocher is a twin. Really? Yeah. Well, I should know that.

Really? Yeah. Oh. Oh, also. That is crazy. They don't look anything alike. Do you remember at the Adelaide Fringe Festival? Yes.

I woke up in a backpacker and I said to this guy on the bunk next to me, who I remember meeting the night before and getting fucking hammered with. Yeah. Hey, bro. Last night got fucking crazy. What's your name again? Yeah. This sounds like I fucked that guy.

I didn't. I would just. I did. We were just out in Adelaide and he had no idea what I was talking about. Then his twin walks into the dorm room and I was like, oh, I must have partied with that guy. And he was like, oh, and he came in. He was like, bro, last night got crazy. And I was like, yeah.

You like, so fuck both. And I didn't know they were a twin. They were twins. And then they were doing a show at the Adelaide fringe called Conjoined Twins. And they said, you should come and see our show tonight. And I was like, I will come and see your show tonight. Yeah, you got to buy two tickets because there's two. of them.

Yeah, which is crazy. Yeah. And then I tell you what's tough though. What? Because we're staying in the, like, there's a bunk room with like eight bloke staying in there. And I go, yeah, fuck. Like, that's why you're at a fringe. I'll come see your show.

Totally. And I'm like, if the show isn't great, like, I'm sleeping in the same room as these guys tonight. Yeah. Oh, what do you think of the show? Oh. God, I love the lighting. Yeah. So it was me.

And I think three others turned up in a room with like a, there's 50 seats and it was me. And then there was three others and one of them left halfway through. Yeah. And I was like, I, they're not conjoined at all. Yeah, I can't. They're fully separate. Yeah, I can't leave. And you wouldn't leave in a show anyway.

Like that's, I don't think like it. But I was really given in everything as an audience. Yeah. It was like I was in deal or no deal. Yeah. Did you big laugh? I once went to dinner, right?

At Torbs's mom's house. Get the fuck out. And his cousin was there, like who I hadn't met before. before and I was like oh hey bro it's so nice to meet you and he goes oh yeah nice to meet you oh my wife's here somewhere like I think she's in the bathroom saying anyway and then like five minutes later I'm talking to towards mom and this girl walks over and I'm like holy fuck and we worked together at Coles and I was like oh my God hey and she goes hi and I was like what we we worked together at Coles like Verity that's crazy like

Like, how are we related? Like, this is crazy. And she goes, I, sorry. And I was just like, you're a, like, fuck you. And then she goes, oh, my twin sister, Verity works at golf. It was not her. If someone did that, surely she knows by now to say, Thank you.

Oh, that must be. So guess what? There's this other person that looks so much like me. who works at Coles and you would know that. Yeah. And instead, she goes, you don't know, you know what I'm talking about.

You know what I'm talking about. You haven't just remembered you're a twin. This isn't the first time this has happened and this isn't like you're not just remembering now. This is not new, new. No. Let me look down the barrel of the camera. And we don't want to out this person to say her name.

Well, Verity is the one I work with the Coles. But if you know someone who is a twin and their twin's name is Verity, because of bitch. She just like, it was just like, it was just, Literally the way that she was just like, no, I don't really know. And I was like, well, you do. Yeah, it's probably your sister. Like, you don't know.

Yeah. Yeah, you know, like, if you had to guess. If you had to guess. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. No, tapas, I have sinned. I went to a colleague's hen party where I learned she was a twin.

And that twin was really flirty with me. Oh. And that was before the many bottles of sparkling. I bet. One thing led to another in a fancy bathroom stall. A bathroom stole that, for reasons I still don't understand, had a bench in it. Oh, well, you know what the bench is in the bathroom. Both us ladies spent time on that bench.

Is this like a preview to my own party? No. I'm going to fuck your twin. Do you have a twin? No. Not that I know of. Maybe I do. do maybe.

Like parent trap. Yeah. Imagine if we found your twin. Yeah. That's my new dream that you've got a twin somewhere and we find them. And we're really nice. At camp. Yeah.

Well, I get to stay with the poor family or do we switch? They were both rich. Were they? Yeah, they were both rich as fuck. Because Elizabeth James, she designs wedding gown and she lives in like a fucking five-story fucking terrace house in London. Okay. And she has a butler and a driver.

Like, they're fine. They're fine. And then the dad, he owns a winery. He, yeah, Nick Parker, Parker Nol.

And then, yeah, thank you. Oh my God. He also has a housekeeper. Can I live there? He also has a housekeeper Chessie who works and lives there full time. I know Chessie.

What? Is that your twassey from Paris? I know her. I've stayed with her in Paris before. No. Except on Chessie couch. Chessie from the parent trap is who I aim to be as a woman. Can you bring her up?

I love everything about her. She wears double denim. She's absolutely beautiful. She's, oh, look at her. Isn't she stunting? That looks different to the Chessie, I know. Oh, I loved her so much. And she really wore her heart on her sleeve.

Do you know what I mean? Yeah. She was really beautiful. I just think that she's the ultimate woman. I love her so much. Who would you go to war for? Fucking Chessy from Parent Crap. Without a doubt.

Yeah. Yeah. I'd tell you who else I'd go to War for. Stifler's mum, but in legally blonde. Oh my God. Yeah. 1,000%. Yeah.

What a good bitch. Both us ladies spent time on that bench. Why? The next morning I texted the twin and said, thanks for the sexy time. Also, a number exchange and everything. Yeah, okay. Thanks for the sexy time in the bathroom with a winky face emoji.

This is when all hell broke loose This was the start of chaos Why? It wasn't a twin at all Turns out it wasn't the twin I went down on I went down on my colleague, the bride to be The sister who I texted She tells the groom

Hang on Hang on, what? Wrong twin I reckon that's what it's What I'm going to sound about Confused Tony And getting gone down on Tony Is the same sounds

Oh I was about to say Nah Nah all good No I reckon it's fine So the bride Fucked the work colleague Yeah

And Unwink that face There's a bride here Bride to be here So the bride Got her pussy ate By the work colleague But she thought it was the twin

Yeah And then she texts the twin Being like thanks for a great night Yeah And the twin immediately knew that she had a twin Which is a huge thing for Verity's twin Yeah the other twin just goes

What? Yeah I don't know what you're talking about Yeah That's crazy tells the husband tells the husband not because

she was on her moral high horse but because the sister was banging the soon to be groom oh you were right yesterday

I'm gonna need a fucking piece of paper the groom confront the groom to be confronted the bride to be even though he was

banging her sister he thought the bride going down on the colleague oh that's where we draw the line that's the limer so he called off

the wedding okay hang on So the bride fucked the colleague. The colleague thought it was the twin. Yeah. The colleague told the twin, thanks for a great night. So the twin told the husband.

Yeah. And they were probably like, this is our get out of jail free card. You can break up with her so we can be together. I don't think that was the cat. I think he was just like, well, I'm cheating, but no one knows about that. But I can't.

No, I think it's a double standard. He's like, no, you don't cheat on me, bitch. I'm the one doing the cheat. He doesn't want to run away with her. Oh. He's just like, yeah, we just fuck sometimes, whatever. Oh, I thought it was maybe that they were like, well, this is a great get out of jail free. We can.

Nah, no. He was just like, no, no, like I love you, but you don't love me back, obviously, because you're going down on other people at the thing. So like, obviously, you can't be trusted. What a. So did the wedding happen? No. He called it.

It's like he gets to call it off. Ugh. You know? Everyone got this group text that the wedding is off and no one knows why. But I know why because I was the reason. Do you know what he's crazy? these things, you really don't know what's happening behind closed doors. If drama like that was happening in your, in your circle for, you know, that is so bizarre.

Tarpers, please forgive me because I sinned at a hens party and caused the wedding to be called off. I don't think you need to bear that whole brunt because it sounds like there were other things going on. You went down on someone you assumed was fair play and get it. And also, like, you've saved that. that woman from being married to that fuckhead. And you've said, who was cheating on her anyway. Yeah.

In fact, you're the, Tarpa Anonymous, you're the hero of this story. Do you know something that I've always said, and I don't say this lightly, eating pussy saves lives. And I would stand by that. Yeah.

And that is real facts. Because that should be married to that cockhead otherwise. Yeah. So, once again, I hope that the colleague and the not bride anymore end up together and live happily ever after. Same time, same, same, time, time, time, time. So the Tapa and the...

Although she was also sort of cheating just before she was getting married. So true, actually. Maybe she already knew about the husband, though. All three except the colleague's the only one not in the wrong here. I feel like the colleague, well, yeah, well, because the call, that the Tapa, the colleague, thought that it was the sister anyway. Yeah. So this is where we're going to.

see both sides of Tony. Let me just sum this up in two sentences. So this is the part I like and you're right. Getting gone down on in a bathroom. Yes. Very yes. Accidentally fucking the wrong twin. Very no. Don't like that. Not possible. So I keep telling my stuff. Maybe. You know for years I've been pitching us to do like a YouTube lineup video. Yes. Maybe we need a twins edition. I think that I I watched Rhett and Link do. Yes. They did one and it was like which twin has been swapped out. Yes.

It was like three people and then they turned around. Then they swapped one of the twins and they had to guess which one was the... So this is our game. Yeah. Two twins come in, identical, dressed the same. And one of them goes, Tony,

you're a hot bitch. I want to make out with you. And the other one says, love you too, but I'm taken. So all good. Yep. Then you close your eyes and they switch your don't.

switch, you open your eyes and you have to point to the one that you're hooking up with. Because if you get it right, you're like, yeah, because you can tell. Yeah. But if you get it wrong, then you're like, maybe all of these people all along who have been accidentally fucking twins are legitimately just making mistakes. But there's a, I think there's a difference if I've never met someone before. And I'm guessing. The twins will come in for three weeks.

You'll get to know them. You'll have coffee. You'll get vines. But you know, if you've never met someone and then they swapped with a twill. you actually probably wouldn't realize. Like, we just both told a story about a situation where we didn't know them. Yeah.

We're talking about people that know it. Like when people say, oh, yeah, my wife is a twin and I accidentally fucked her twin sister. Like, no, that doesn't happen.

Because you're married to this person. You know that that's not them. Do you reckon this is like, might sound like a creepy question. Imagine you're like fucking the twin like in the dark. As in like, you can't see the like little tiny visual cues. do you reckon you would also just know because of the like

I think you would know because of their smell and what they do and how. But the specific question is like the actions and like, you know how when you've been in a relationship, you kind of like, you know the moves. And then so this is a totally different. Or would twins just naturally have the same moves?

No, no, no, no. I reckon it would be totally. I think I would know straight away. That's where I think the tail would be. Yeah. With the fucking the twin that you've been with for a while. Yeah. Because you'd be like, oh, you don't do that.

is not the same person. They would kiss differently. They would smell different. Like, there's all those things. You don't normally put your tongue in there. You know, like all that stuff.

Or you normally do. Yeah. You're not doing it now. Yeah. Oh, you don't like that anymore. Oh, interesting.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. So true. Science. So, are any twins coming to Tony's hands party? They're not now.

No, but like, what's the... Charles, type this in. if there's 2,000 people in a theatre, what is the chances that two of them are twins? Like, it's just maths, you know? It might be a chance of one twin, but both of them coming probably not.

So true. You know, like... Yeah. I'd say that that would be fairly unlikely. The Google AI overview says, if there are 2,000 people in a theatre, it is highly likely, almost certain that there is at least one set of twins in the audience.

That is crazy. And I don't think that language, like, highly unlikely is really accurate. I don't, I think that there's a chance that they're being highly likely. Highly likely. Sorry, highly likely. I don't think that that's, I don't think it's highly likely. I reckon there would definitely be a twin, but not a set of twins. I bet there will be two twins, both of, like both of the twins there.

Like a set of twins. Yeah. Yeah. And if I'm wrong, you have to make out with me. And my brother. And if I'm right, you have to make out with me. me. Well, let me drive my hard bag.

There we go. There we go. Okay. Oh, up next. A special guest. A guest. A special guest. Special guest.

Yep. Which I believe they're. A special guest up next. Okay. Hi, I'm Jamie from Ipswich, Australia. I'm Suez from Belfast, Ireland. Hi, I'm Kristen from Boston, Massachusetts, USA. And you're watching Tony and Ryan.

Welcome back, a massive shout-out to a few of our champion Tappas over at our Patreon. Thank you very much to Sennie Myers. Thank you very much, Sennie. Low, good on your low. Emerald, mate, Nicole Barlow, Saabee, Paige Marshall, good on your page. Lady Catherine DeBerg, which is a very fancy name. Neve, Stephanie Heim and Chris Corbel. Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon.

We absolutely fucking love to see it. there's just a few of our champion tarpers. In case you have noticed, I've got a very empty seat where my best friend, Ryan, is normally sitting. He's bringing in a guest and I'm not being funny. I might not have a great sense of smell, but I have a great sense of hearing. And I might be correct that it's Michael Jordan.

Michael Jordan's here. Close your eyes, Tony. Okay, my eyes are closed. Hi, Michael. Hey, close your eyes. Hi, Mike. Michael's coming in. I've heard he's got a foot like a subway.

Did you guys say that the subway loyalty programs shutting down? I'm so sad. Hi, Michael. Should we bring in another chair for Michael? My eyes are still closed. I don't know what's going on. I can hear someone sitting down.

I can't hear Michael Jordan. I'm opening them. Oh, my God. Oh my God. That is horrifying. That is the scariest. I actually don't like that. That's movie quality.

Okay. You might have to explain what's going on. Yeah, yeah. I was about to. You just need to give me one fucking moment. Well, I don't have a lot of oxygen in here. Okay. So, right.

Sorry, the Grinch has just sat down. Jim Carrey. Hello. So nice to me. The eyes are fucking piercing my soul. It's really a freaky mask. Full movie quality. green fur hands legs

it's the grinch when he's Santa at the end oh sorry he's actually the hens party Grinch I don't like the sound of that the eyes are really freaky can you put some sunglasses or something grinch I think I might have to take the mask off because it sounds terrible and I also can't breathe

yeah the eyes are really freaky okay hello hens party Grinch Does the Grinch have a voice? Yeah. He does. How does it sound like? It's like, um... Like, nah.

No. No, it's like deeper than that. And it's like, so you'll want to get to know me. You want to spend a little quality time with the Grinch. You want to spend a little quality time with the Grinch. Yeah, it's a little bit New York. Well, I guess I could use a little social interaction. Did you know with the Grinch hands, it is quite difficult to use the iPad because it's so smooth with the grip, it doesn't move the thing.

Oh, Jimmy to cut a little hole in your grinchy finger. We already did jokes about cutting fingers off last week on the show and we don't need to cut off anymore. No, you're just doing like a transatlantic. Like, look at how, say. Come over here, tots. I haven't seen a lot of the Grinch, which they shocked something. No, I love it. Now, I was in the, well, my friend Ryan was in.

Because this is the Hens Party Grinch. I'm the Hens Party Grinch. My friend Ryan was actually doing a live show in Patreon. and I did a checklist of, I want to make sure, well, he said, Ryan said. Ryan said, he wanted to make sure that there was nothing happening at the hens party

that Tony wouldn't like. So I was like, can everyone tell me things that she wouldn't want to be there? So I can just double check that they're not going to be there. Yeah. And then someone said, why don't you do all of them and be the hens party Grinch? And I said,

well, no, we don't do pranks. Yep. And I love the Grinch. So this is kind of a crazy crossover. But then we got into this crazy chat because someone goes, obviously we're not going to do that on the night. But because, and whilst it is prank adjacent, yep, because Tony loves the Grinch, wouldn't it just be a funny segment to read out the stuff that we hopefully don't see at the Hens party?

Yes. Hence the Hens party Grinch is in with a few stories. The eyes of the Grinch, I really can't get over how creepy the mask is. Yeah, it's really, it's a lot. It's really, it's really fucked. Yeah. It's really fucked. It's accurate to the film.

Like it actually really looks like... Thank you. And can you believe I made this myself? I don't. No. I don't. Is it quite warm? It's very hot in here.

Yeah. To take off all your Grinch. You're our hands party grinch. You're going to take your clothes off. Are you ready for story one? I am. So these are just a recap, sorry. This is what might happen on the day of the hens party if the Grinch was in charge.

Oh, okay. So this is things we don't want. This is no deal. So I've accidentally dressed as the Grinch today What could the odds of that being? We should not go and do the weather in front of a green screen today Yeah, oh my God, you'd see my nipples Wait, does it make you look naked?

No, you just can't see anything. It's on the X-ray machine. I was like, oh, you'd see right through in my titty lalas. It's the day of that. Oh, that made it worse. Green Pube. I'm not being funny, but do you want me to reach you? There's so much squeeze

They're still there It's it Oh Oh No There's so much That's actually better Thank you

I think when you get Licked by a dog Take that back Yeah Take that back Well you just normally your saliva is on my fingers I don't lick my own ass What yours like?

Normally your saliva is somewhere else on me It's the day before the party. Oh, towards the night before Christmas. To relax before the big show, you decide to see a movie. Oh, okay. You order a Diet Coke. They give you a Coke Zero with a paper straw and you have to sit between a bunch of teenagers who talked and were on their phones during the whole movie. Grinch.

That is Grinch behavior. I don't want my hands party Grinch. After leaving the movie, Tony goes back to the end. Airbnb. Shout old. Torbs tells Tony he just bought something and paid for an extended warranty. He then shows her a map of all the postal delivery centres the item is going to visit before being delivered.

He says pretty cool right and goes to give Tony a high five. The item he bought was mint chocolate for them to share. Do you know what's crazy about that? Is that then I would cancel the hens party. I'm not marrying that freak. Yeah. So true. Actually, question.

Question. If, like, touch all of the wood, fucking jinx, uncross, fucking whatever. Oh, you want me to touch your wood? No, like, I don't want to jinx nothing. If you and Torbs break up between now and the hens party, can we just still do the hens party? Yeah, but do you know what I reckon it would be? It would be like one of those like destroy the dress parties. Oh, fuck yeah.

You know? Or like the energy changes. Because I'm just like, sometimes you just want to party. And someone goes, oh, something happened on the wedding and go, I don't care. I just want to get loose at a handskey. We're still going to get fucking leading to titty. Yeah, I just want to go to a bachelor party and play golf off someone. Yeah.

Yeah. Also. Oh, I'm going to fucking sling some ping pong balls out my pussy. That kind of shit is what I want. Do you know? Like, not if we are getting married. That's not the plan right now, but that's what it would change to. All of these stories were, we did this as a group of tapas in a live stream, by the way.

They're very good and very specific. Yeah. Oh, just you fucking know. I really like this. I'm detail-oriented. Tony gets a taxi from the London Airbnb to the Troxy Theater. Oh, showed all. When they arrived, the driver said he only accepts Fijian dollars.

In cash. If she doesn't have any there, there is a Fijian ATM at the kids center next door at the bottom of the phone pit. And I can't get out. A Sydney and Robin there? I'll help you out of the pit. Finally. Fuck, that's that's law. That's deep law.

L-O-R-A. Last one. I'm not ready for you to go yet, Hens Party Grinch. After you've endured everything. Are you okay? You're struggling with the fur. I'm so overstimulated by the fur of the Grinch.

No, I completely understand. Um, considering that you've somehow in, you, considering that you've, considering that you've, do you know that Jim Kerry had to go through like CIA training for to sit there and get the makeup done every day because it took like over six hours. What's CIA? Oh, because they're like, he had to go through a preparation course so that he could sit there still for six hours.

But what does the CIA do that for? Because they're not doing a lot of grinch work, I wouldn't have thought. I don't think it's for grinch work. I think it's for like remaining calm. if you're like being held hostage or, you know, like being tortured somewhere for information. If you need information from me, I'll give it to you. Just ask. You don't need to threaten to cut my finger off.

I'll literally give it to you. Just let me go. If you don't, and I've already got the file open. Yeah. We haven't even threatened anything yet. Just take it. I go, oh, hey, actually my passcode is blah. Just take my phone to call whoever you want.

Like, I just have a. So. So. So I'm doing hand gestures and realize I've got Grinch hands. It's the fairy heads. Can we keep this costume? Is it doing something for you? I want you to fuck me like the Grinch.

I'll call you Christmas. Why, because you're going to come in me? Come in me Christmas. Considering in this story of all the things you've endured so far, the fact that you've got to the bottom of the phone pit to get Fiji and cash out to pay the driver. And you've done such a good job. get through. It's almost like, if she can get past all that, surely I'm making it. This is just one thing and I reckon you'd go, you know what? After all I've been through today,

fuck off. Take it or leave it? Leaving it. Yeah, just go, you know what? No. See ya. Tony finally gets inside the theatre. Thank God. She goes up on stage and her old fridge is there. Still can't get rid of that fucking thing. The fridge? She tried to get rid of it 15 times on Facebook marketplace and sat in her lounge room. And now, in London at the Truxie, you're fucking joking me. Bringing up the fridge is actually traumatic. I had just wiped that from my short-term memory.

The guy who finally took it goes, oh, I actually can't take it. Can I just leave it here? It's your responsibility now. Actually, I know I took it from you a couple of months ago, but I stopped working. I stopped working and I've just come to make her a turn. You don't have the cash, do you? I only take Fijian dollars. I'd like my money back.

All right, but now we've got all of that out of our system. Yeah. And that's all of the things. And I guarantee that's not going to happen next Tuesday. And you know why? It's because it's not on a Monday. So true. Luckily we didn't plan the Hens Party to be on a month.

On a fucking Monday. The Hens Party Grinch is here now. The Feecheon Hens Party Grinch needs to be paid on the way out. That motherfucking fridge. I love that. Give it up for the Hens Party Grinch. Really. Sorry, I just clapped and so much fur game off.

All of the furs coming off. It's very cute, your little Grinchy. I got to you love to see it here. Do you want to de Grinch or you're okay? No, I think we just push through and then. Oh, yeah. Okay. It's the CIA preparedness training you did.

That's keeping you going. You go first. All right. I've got an amazing you love to see it. It's a quick, tight, lovely one. Great. Just how I describe your vagina. That's really, that's really nice.

That's classy. I like that. Okay. We got this via email, vintage. Love that for us. Nicole in Swansea in Wales, because there's been a lot of chat about people. watching shorts on their TV.

Oh, hasn't that rolled them up. And Nicole was sent through a photo saying, we watch YouTube on our TV as a family, but not a short, the full videos. Yeah. And there's this photo of Nicole's TV, and they watch as a family every day.

I love it. And watch the podcast. Don't get me wrong. YouTube on TV, fuck it. It's the shorts that does my head in. But I think that we just give a big shout out to people watching YouTube. on the TV in the correct way.

Yeah. And I think everyone should take a photo of me on the TV as the Hens Party Grinch. Yeah, okay, he's putting the mask back down. So if you're watching right, the eyes really are crazy. Don't say the mask because Jim Carrey gets confused. Oh, yeah. I haven't seen the mask, so I don't know if that happens. Somebody stop me.

Is the mask the one where, oh no, that's Ace Ventura. Cameron Diaz is in the mask. Isn't Cameron Diaz in? Oh no, that's Monica from Friends. Courtney, Courtney loves Cox. Okay, Grinch. Hens Party Grinch. Do you have you love to see it?

Yeah, I do. I've got one from... Jun to lift your mask back up. We can't really hear you can't even go hands party Grinch. Sorry. Oh. Up the right way. The Grinch pad.

I Grinch. Like, that's just what... Grinch 2.0. Yeah. Now. Grinch 2.0. I snucked 2.0. Do you remember that? Yeah. That was awful. This, um, this couple's had a baby. Congratulations. Oh my God. How wonderful. Beautiful little girl.

A little girl. Do they name it Tony Louise Lodge? No, not exactly. They named it Tony Louise Smodge. Oh, so close enough. We might be twins. Don't you hate? And I mean hate in the most loving terms. when some people just look amazing in the worst of circumstance. And you go, how do you still look that beautiful? Yeah, and you're just like, oh my God, like. So, so the father hates in inverted commas, his wife,

because he's like, she just looks great all the time. He always look great, yeah. This is our baby announcement photo. My wife looks so obnoxiously thin 24 hours after delivery that I joked that I looked like the one who'd given birth. She looks in great book. So we decided to swap for a funny photo. I love the photo. The photo is very sweet.

And there they are in the hospital bed. The dad is in the gown and in the bed and she's just standing there looking lovely like nothing's happened. The only reason that you know that she's been in hospital is because she's got the wrist, like bracelet on. Oh my God. I don't look like that on a good day. And that's why she's obnoxious and how dare she? That's amazing. Oh my, congratulations.

Congratulations. And isn't he just the happy, like, can you put that back up, Charles? They both look so happy. Like, obviously you're happy because the kid's born and the fuck. But like, doesn't he just look like the happiest motherfucker you've ever seen? He's holding his brand new daughter. That is the luckiest baby on earth. He knows.

He's like, this photo's a winner. He's like, he knows it. That's so fucking beautiful. Yeah, beautiful. And she just looks so happy as well. The mom, like, just looks so happy. as well. Stoked.

Oh my God, congratulations. Congratulations. Congratulations. Yeah. Yeah, all right. Don't, that's worse. You put the feathering your mouth. Okay, love you.

We'll be back tomorrow. Love you. Hens party tickets available. Tonyshenspity.com. Love you. The Grinch won't be there and you won't be doing that noise. I actually guarantee I'll never put this on again. This is awful.