Toni and Ryan - CORNspiracy

Episode Date: November 6, 2023

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Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. And have you heard a more hot California girl name than Becky? Oh, Becky with the good hair. Becky from California. Let's give her a buzz. Hello, this is Becky. Hi, Becky. It's Tony and Ryan. How are you doing? Yay. Are you good? How are you doing? Yay. I'm good.

How are you? Yeah, we're well. I mean, better now that we're talking to you. What have we caught you doing? What have we interrupted? Nothing exciting. I'm working. Oh, same.

And doesn't it blow? Nah, just kidding. We're just working really hard, doing our job. Working for the man, you know. We get it. But presumably hot girl Becky from California, will you approve today's podcast? I would love to. Yeah!

Wow! Hey, it's Becky from California and I approve this podcast. all right coming up today everything we have learned done answered on the meet and greet so far it's the meet and greet facts yeah faqs yeah um and we've actually only got one more to go yeah so i feel like we should have done faqs at the beginning so that everyone knew what to expect yeah um but coming up uh just there's a zero to 100 to back to zero, Tony. Oh. There is. That does sound like me. I'm not even going to.

Some food reviews, which may offend some parts of the nation. And actually, I've already said too much. All right. That's coming up. But first, these are top confessions. And top confessions, Tony and Ryan podcast confessions. No, because it's not tarpers confessions. It's tarp confessions. You're right.

Did me singing awfully then really emphasise that we've done a lot of meet and greets and you can hear it in my voice? Oh, yeah. You sound like a hard worker. Yeah. Yeah, you sound like a sniffer dog at the airport. You've done the hard yards. Yeah, I'm working nine to five.

Yeah. Thanks. What a way to make a living. I'm so bummed that when we were in Nashville, we didn't get to go to Dollywood. Yeah. We'll have to go back. I didn't even get to see Taylor Swift's bench in Centennial Park. And we were 100 metres from it.

Yeah, and then we had to leave so quickly to get to Louisville, and I'm so bummed. But anyway. We live in life, love, love. Yes, that's exactly right. A graphic confession from a fellow IBS sufferer. Oh, great. Yeah, I mean, it's already not a good start, is it?

I'll be honest. My tummy, I, like, have so much respect for you, Ryan, since being in America. How you going, mate? Because just from travelling, like, you know when you get, like, travel tum? Yep. I've got travel time. I'm eating a lot of weird food. I don't think I've seen a vegetable in like two, three weeks.

I don't think they have those here. No, I don't think so either. I saw a lot of cornfields, but haven't eaten any corn. The ratio of seeing cornfields to eating corn is off. Something's amiss. Yeah. There's a fucking corn spiracy. Because honestly, I don't know what is going on.

How am I seeing all of this farm but eating nothing that comes from one? In Australia, I'm eating a lot of corn, never seen a cornfield. Oh, they're exporting it. It's a fucking corn-spiracy. I'm so proud of that wordplay. It deserved a better laugh. No, it did. No, it's not even comedy.

It's just straight up, like, that's just what it should be called. These are Top Corn Fashes. And yes, definitely with a K. Backwards K. Thank you for asking. Backwards K. Backwards K, sorry. ABCD.

Baby corn. It's still one of my favourite episodes. Very underrated. Very underrated. The video fucking flopped online. Deserves more. Such a shame. A graphic confession. The video fucking flopped online. Deserves more. Such a shame. A graphic confession from a fellow IBS sufferer.

I normally keep the carbs to a minimum because it triggers my gut, but I was at an epic pizza place and thought, YOLO. Ryan, did you submit? No, and you'll know why. You'll know why in a second. While we were in Chicago. But I did say YOLO at Giordano's. Yeah. Yep. And I did pay the price. Yes. But I did say YOLO at Giordano's.

Yeah. Yep. And I did pay the price. Yes. But I'm fucking standby. All right. Okay. This lady says, there's a bathroom here.

We're not far from home. I'm going to get that garlic bread as well. Oh, babe. Yeah. I think you got to rip it. Especially when you know that there's a bathroom, there's facilities on site. Yep. Ryan, you and I did discuss that if you had Giordano's in bed, at least she'd be like, oh, my God, there's a toilet right there.

I'm at home. I'm in a safe place. Not in bed, at home. Well, we were discussing in bed, but at home is the same. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We're driving home after. The drive. We're almost home, and then I just, it's about to happen.

It's happening. It's on. Mum says, just hold it, mate. We're home soon. And I yelled at my mum and said, if you don't pull over right now, I'm going to shit all over your seats. Pull into that petrol station. At least there was a petrol station. It wasn't just shitting on the side of the road.

So mum pulls up. I didn't make eye contact with anyone. And I'm power walking like Kath and Kel Knight towards the bathroom. Perfect reference. Great time for it. Amazing. I sit down. It happens.

What a relief. Great. You made it. That's all good. Fantastic. Fantastic. Oh, how is this a confession then? That's actually, you love to see it.

If anything. I've got my segments fixed up today. Wow. She did love to see it. And I can tell you, as someone who needs to go to the bathroom all the time, there is like when you're like, you think you're in a tight spot and then you like, you make it out alive. You're like, oh.

That did happen to me in Toronto. Yeah. I tried pooping. I think we'll get to that in the meat and grease. Okay. Oh, sorry. Coming up today. Okay.

Spoiler alert though. Sorry. Nope. You know what? It's coming. And. Okay. Spoiler alert though. Sorry. Nope. You know what? It's coming. And it was. It was. So, I finish up, go to press the button and nothing.

It's not like a small flush or a half flush, just straight up nothing. And it's like, cut and run. You've got to. Surely. As I exit the bathroom, there's a man waiting at the door. Oh, no. He's wearing construction gear, a hard hat, and he's got an angry face. Well, it's nothing he hasn't seen before, you know what I'm saying?

I mean, those construction guys, they said some shit. I've seen it. Literally. Literally. I look around the petrol station as I open the door. It's a construction site. They're building a petrol station. And not only is the plumbing not working, they haven't even connected it yet.

They're building a petrol station. No! Because she's like, I had my head down, didn't look at anyone, just straight into the bathroom. She's like, why didn't I think it was weird when they asked me to sign in and put a hard hat on? Isn't that weird? Yeah, it's my first poo in high vis.

Yeah. No. So the guy is like, what are you doing pooing in this unconnected toilet? It's like at Ikea. You know how it's like, do not use this toilet. That's exactly what happened. And so she just goes, sorry. And then just like bolted. No, I'd start crying.

I'd be like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. I just. The confessor said, I've actually not had a good night's sleep since and probably won't for the rest of my life. That is such an amazing story. But imagine the realisation when you go, gee, the shelves aren't stocked here. There's no one working here. Yeah, see, was there toilet paper in there?

Oh, great. You know what I mean? Because if there was toilet paper in there, like, it's obviously. You know what comes first, the chicken or the egg? What comes first, the plumbing or the toilet paper? I think the plumbing. The plumbing, surely. Maybe she had a wet one in her bag or something.

Oh, I thought you, when you said wet one, I thought you meant like, when you're like, oh, she had a wet one. Oh, no. No, I meant like, oh, and I know that this isn't part of the story, but it means she also didn't wash her hands. Well, she might not have got to that stage yet because she's like pressed the thing and you're like. Oh, my God.

I would literally die if that happened. That is such an amazing story. Thank you for sharing. That is amazing. I would literally die if that happened. That is so... That is such an amazing story. Thank you for sharing. That is amazing. I love that. Now, depending on how you feel about certain issues, this is either not a big deal or probably the most fucked confession. Oh, God.

And we've heard some crazy ones, so... Let me... Because there's parts of this story that's fine. So, you listening and you, Tony. Yeah. Let me know when you think this story goes from fine to absolutely fucked. Fine, not fine. Yeah.

So, you let me know when it crosses that line. Okay. Anonymous says, my husband has eaten my placenta from our births. Well, instantly fucked instantly fucked instantly not fine no that's pretty normal now like you get it um like turned into tablets or freeze dried or whatever that's like apparently it's super healthy full of really great vitamins and stuff it kind of like if i think about it too much gives me the heebie jeebies but i have heard it's good for you and it's like totally fine the weird thing for me about placenta is, like, what would you have it with?

Well, he barbecued some of it and did, like, a salt and pepper calamari style. I mean, it'll make your afternoon, but it won't ruin your dinner. That's what he said. Yeah. He was hoofing it down. Yeah. And the confessor says, I kind of really loved that he loved it. Oh, I think it's, like, quite a nice connection between the two of you.

So we're still all good? I think that's fine, yeah. My husband said, yeah, so I've always wanted to try human and I feel like this is the only way it's socially acceptable. Have we hit the... Just eat my pussy next time. What? If we had done that instead of something else,

we would have avoided this whole situation. I've always wanted to try human. Is she living in a fucking caravan with Hannibal Lecter? What the fuck? And I remind you, this isn't some guy she met. This is her husband and father of her two children. I mean... This is a casual line to slip

out oh yeah i just wanted to try some human this also might be a red flag oh yeah i would be lying if the thought hadn't crossed my mind like ever right what thought like what would it be like you know how like when people go oh yeah I've had camel before, tastes just like chicken or whatever. You know how everyone's like, yeah, it tastes like chicken. Ha, ha, ha. Like, what does people taste like? That's kind of interesting. And what part would you eat?

Like, because I think that, like, you know, like, I've got kind of a big bum, so might the bum be good? Or would that be really fatty? Or, like, what bit of the human would you actually want to try? And if you had like, you know, when you get like chicken wings, how it's like both bits of the wing are like different bits of a chicken wing. Yeah. Like, would you serve the leg? It was just calf.

And would you serve the top? It was just hock. Like, what would you, would you make soup with it? Like a ham hock? Like, I'm just, I'm just saying. How often have you thought this? I mean, it's sounding would you make soup with it? Like a ham hock? Like, I'm just, I'm just saying. How often have you thought this? I mean, it's sounding very involved, isn't it? But I would be lying if I said I'd never thought about that.

How often have you thought about that? Oh, not like recently. Like as often as men think of the Roman Empire? No, no, no, no, no. I think my Roman Empire, though, for anybody that's wondering, is Princess Diana. Yeah. But I think I've definitely thought about it, but Torbz knows.

You know, like, that's not going to surprise him. Why have you guys talked about that? Yeah, we talk about everything. We're best friends. Oh, my God. So, it's not as if I'm waiting until our wedding night and I'm going to be like, by the way, I'd love to try a human, you know, like this guy has. He's been thinking about that for a while.

And he's just dropped a bomb. I'm up front about it that i would i don't yeah okay and torpes are still yeah and you guys are still going strong and i definitely don't think remind me of the phrase that he said i've always wanted to try human see i've never said that i said i wonder what that would be like and i wonder what part you would eat i've never said oh always wanted to try it like when you order a beef tartare and someone goes, oh, I've always wanted to try that. But wanting to try it, like thinking about what it tastes like is a gateway to wanting to do it.

There's only so many times you can- The curiosity is like the- Yeah, it grows and grows. Then you go, maybe I do want to find out. Maybe just a nibble, you know? Are you not going to let me babysit anymore? No. She'd be right in the oven.

No, just kidding. Sorry. Sorry. Obviously, I was just joking. I don't know if that's a joke because one time I saw you yell at Pippa and you said, shut up, Pippa, I'll put you in the microwave. Have you got a thing for putting things in things? Not like that.

Not like that. Not like that. Hey, it's Becky from California and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Champion tapas, that's Tony and Ryan podcast. Twyla's mum. Thank you so much. Where's Twyla?

Twyla's mum has got it going on. Love that. Baby A. Baby, baby, baby A. That's fun. That's fun. Okay. Stacey Granahan.

I already used the Stacey's song. Oh, yeah. If only there was a new song. Stacey Granahan, job. Katie Kemp, good on you, Katie, and Shona Bartlett. Love to see it. Thank you so much, Shona. Thank you so much.

We've been doing meet and greets New York yesterday. No, Sunday. What day is it today? Tuesday. Two days ago. All good, all good. It's happened. That's all we need to know about. Don't mention time zones. Sunday. What day is it today? Tuesday. Two days ago. All good. All good. It's happened.

That's all we need to know about. Don't mention time zones. No. No times, no days, no weeks, nothing. We've done Dallas, Atlanta, Nashville, Louisville, Indianapolis, Chicago, Toronto, New York, LA on Sunday. Next, this Sunday. Fuck.

Fuck. Lots going on. Here's some frequently asked questions, things people want to know. Tony, what's the most fun slash weirdest things you've signed? This trip, we've signed a toaster. We approved a toaster. Yep. We signed some boobs.

Yep. I didn't realise that a married man signing a lady's boobs was going to be a controversial issue when you're not married to the boobs you're signing yeah so yeah she said can you sign my boobs and then tony grabs a pen and signs and then tony passes the pen to me and she's out of habit because we normally both sign everything yeah and then she's like oh no ryan you can't do that yeah and then i felt like the creep but it was yeah it wasn't great but let's move on because it wasn't great. It wasn't.

Did I make it awkward or did she make it awkward? No comment. I'll play the fifth. I think, what else have we signed? Oh, you signed a shitty towel in Toronto. That was, was that funny or what? That was great. Trevor brought in a towel.

That was awesome. And everyone laughed at my expense. Oh, and it was a line of like 6,000 people. Yeah. And everybody was pissing themselves. Very, very good um glad you all had a good time yeah well we did um i actually remember sitting having breakfast with bridget and i told her the story of the towel and the barber and i said i think and she was like, horrified. Horrified. Nice. And I said, I'm going to tell this on the podcast. And she said, Ryan, if you tell this specific story, you will never live it down. And I'm like- She was right.

She must be fucking, tell her to give me the lotto numbers. Yeah, she's Nostradamus. Yeah. But I was like, oh, we tell stories every week. Like, you know, it's just another one. And she's like, nah, this one will stick. No pun intended. I actually remember when it happened.

And do you remember we were in the car together and you're like, oh, this thing happened at the hairdresser. And I was like, oh, do you want to save it for the pod? And you went, oh, yeah, actually, I will. Imagine if you hadn't. Imagine if you'd wasted that story on telling me in the car. And then Trevor wouldn't have got a literal shitty towel. What was-

Do you reckon it was like a coffee or a Milo? I think it was just like brown Sharpie or paint or something. Yeah, but it looked pretty fucking- It looked legit. It looked familiar. Oh. You know what I'm saying. Tony, is it true at one stage you were planning on moving to Chicago?

Oh, still am. I love Chicago. Okay, because I believe at 3 p.m. you're like, I'm moving here. Then at 4.30 you might have been like, I fucking hate this place. Look, Chicago, Chi-town, freezing fucking cold. Yep. So cold. And it's funny that every place that we've been so far has been like, oh, yesterday the weather was awesome and today it's fucked.

Yeah. And I don't know how we planned that so badly. Yeah. Like. We should have done the cold places first and then gone to Dallas. And then gone down. Because Dallas we were sweating. Okay.

Next question. How many people sweat did we. No. How many people did we put our sweat onto in Dallas? I mean, the number's the same. Yeah. How many people were at the meet and greet? Like, I cannot believe how bad I felt.

Every time someone came in for a hug, I was like- Nice to meet you. Give me a hug. Yeah. And I was like, I'm so sorry. Like, I smell so bad. I'm so sorry. I'm so sweaty.

And everyone was like, me too. And remember that girl offered us deodorant, and I was like, oh, that's pointed. Yeah. Yeah. That is- Yeah. Not subtle. You know what I mean? Yeah. It was- I do, that's pointed. Yeah, yeah, that is, yeah. Not subtle, you know what I mean? Yeah, it was, I do think it's nice though.

It is, but it was kind of past the point in our return. I was like, look, we've done 300 people already. Yeah. I'm just going to sweat on the rest of you. Someone brought me a little napkin to wipe my forehead that was sweaty and then, is it true or false, Tony Lodge, did you grab that napkin out of my hand and place it up your dress? Yeah, well, because I was wearing like a denim pinafore

with like a T-shirt underneath. You looked very cute. Thank you for that. I did that. And I had quite a lot of gooch sweat going on. What did they call it? Disco. Disco.

Disco minge or whatever. That's what it was. Yeah, it yeah it wasn't but to do it in front of 400 people was um well i mean i like to keep it real and you did i did so i think it's the least i can do next question who's been the biggest liability going through airports see everyone thinks that i'm about to say r and everyone thinks that Ryan's about to say Tony, but it's been fucking producer Cam. Cameron Morris Hutchings. Are you denying, Cam,

that you've been the biggest liability going through airports? No, I've been a shit head. Just an absolute piece of fucking work. Cam, I heard you in a, I wouldn't say a tiff with the lady at the American Airlines desk. He was about to biff on with her. He went, Silvana, I'm going to hit you. It was awful. Poor Silvana.

And then I saw security like- We received a legal letter about- Silvana in Chicago. I'm pretty sure I saw the security guy put his hand down towards his gun just to be ready. But, Cam, is it true or false? Because you guys were having your beef and me and Tony were pretending that we didn't know you. Yeah. This is a sentence I think I heard and I just want you to confirm or deny that this is what happened.

Between Chicago and Toronto doing meet and greets. I know the passport number is not exactly the same, but it's pretty close. Did you say that line? I knew we were behind time, so I was just trying to get through quickly. He goes, oh, so just those two numbers have been swapped around. What are you, a fucking national, like, liability? Honestly. And then.

Be like, it's pretty close, all good. And they're like, no. And they're like, yes. It has to be the same. It has to be the same. Honestly. And then- Be like, it's pretty close. All good. And they're like, no. And they're like, yeah, so think about the number. It has to be the same. Yeah. Otherwise, like, what's the fucking point? 19 or 91. All good, yeah?

Literally. Otherwise, I would just walk through and go, yeah, so my passport number's Fruit Loops. Hope that's fine. Like, if it didn't matter, it wouldn't fucking matter at all. Yeah. What about the other airport, though? Which? So, when we were in atlanta

oh yeah baggy big old bags cam baggage hutchins and we get to the front and she's like oh yeah like i can't let you your bag go on and then cam goes look i'll just pay the extra what is it she goes a hundred us dollars for an extra couple of kilos like 200, it's like 200 Australian dollars, 180 Australian dollars or something. Brutal. So. I can't wait to see what will happen, like, the rest of the, like. So, who's been the biggest liability through airports? Are you going to put your hand up, Cam, and cop that?

I will. You have to. If you said no, we'd kick you out, honestly. One of the most frequently asked questions at the meet and greets is, Tony, how's the tipping going? So, basically, all the advice that Ryan gave me I just had to forget and then the tipping was quite easy. Even though the only drama that I've really had with tipping, which is a new problem, is that I read somewhere that tipping's not a thing in Canada,

which is wrong. Yeah, right. And we were in Toronto for three days. Yeah. I didn't tip a single person. Are you joking? Because I'd, yeah. And.

Who said, just some blog? Well, I just read some, I don't know where, but I had in my head. Myustrips.net slash Tumblr. I had in my head, like, I don't need a tip in Canada. And then, you know, the driver that we got that took us to the airport in Toronto. Yeah. Oh, you were chatting to him. Yeah. What, you were chatting to him. Yeah.

What happened there? So, you guys got out of the car and grabbed the bags and I paid, which is like what we do. Yeah. Because I'm a strong man, you know, carrying the bags. Yeah, big boss. And honestly, the way that the feminism leaves my body when someone offers to pick up my 23 kilo bag, I'm not even joking.

I'm a proud, strong, independent woman. Can I grab these? Fucking grab that shit, Ryan. I don't want to see it. Literally. Literally. I'm like not even joking. I don't want to break a nail. So, I mean, it's very tragic, but I'm proud to say that's me. Hey, and you're out away from home, away from your nail lady. You've actually got many compliments on your little tips. I have. Yeah. And it'd be a shame for anything to happen, wouldn't it? Exactly. Imagine if I was getting around and I only had nine of these like what a drama anyway you guys got out to grab the bags and i was gonna pay yeah and he passed me the like terminal you know how

they pass you like the f-post machine and i just went to tap my card and he i'm not even kidding he turns around he's in the front seat. I'm in the back. He turns around. He goes, are you from Australia? And I went, yeah, I am. Like, yeah, I'm from Australia. Like, I'm from Melbourne. Melbourne, you know. And he goes, yeah, you guys don't tip, eh? And he goes, I'll just hit enter.

Because Cameron and I took the bags and we saw you guys chatting for a while. And I actually said to Cam, I think she's getting bowed up over there. Yeah. I better go try and save her. But he goes, yeah, I'll just hit enter then for you. And I went, well, I'm an asshole. I haven't tipped anyone because I thought it wasn't a thing here. So, I mean.

What about the guy that took you to Niagara Falls? A whole day that guy drove you down there for. Yeah. Actually, but that cabbie though, he was telling us how proud, like, that was his cab. What do you mean? Like, he gets all the money. Oh, yeah, because it's his business.

Yeah. Oh, well, I think he wanted a little bit of cream on the top, a little bit of half and half. Yeah, a little half and half. Because, yeah, he goes, yeah, you don't tip, eh? Because I just went to tap my card, like, out of habit, like, in Australia. But, yeah, so in Canada, you do have to tip. Fucking FYI, everyone.

I think I'm pretty sure you're the only one who didn't know that. It's too late for me, but not too late for you. So I'm really sorry to anybody in Canada that I didn't tip because I just, I didn't know. If I had a dollar for every time. I would have tipped someone. I would have used that dollar and given it to somebody. If I had a dollar for every time someone came to a meet and greet and said, oh, hey, I heard Ryan talking about the tipping.

Ignore all of that. If I had a dollar for every time I heard that, that would cover all the tips for this trip. Yeah, well, I wish that one of the tips was fucking me tipping in Canada. Tony, I'm going to give you two words. Uh-huh. Well, let's go three words to review their foods. First, Texas barbecue.

Amazing. Yeah. How good was that? Terry Black's for those playing at home in Dallas. So good. That was the most amazing food. Yeah, and it was an awesome place. Yeah.

Chicago deep dish. Oh, delicious. Yeah. Heavy. Thick. Thick. Thick. Delicious, and it was an awesome place. Chicago deep dish. Oh, delicious. Heavy. Thick. Thick. Delicious, heavy, thick. I think I'll give it three. Canadian poutine. Not for me. That's three words. Not for me. Okay. How'd you go,

mate? So, I have found out retrospectively that I didn't go to the best place um not gonna name any names but while we're in toronto i had the poutine uh it did not agree with me uh i did not like it and then someone said oh why didn't you like it where did you go i revealed the name of the establishment they said oh no you don't go there apparently the place tony went to usually it's a 3 a.m it's a 3 a.m on the way home and it's a 3 a.m not a 3 p.m well i learned that the hard way was anything else hard that day um well no because my shit was soft and it came out of me at the speed of light

and in the middle of the meet and greet. And we had to stop the meet and greet for about 20 minutes so that I could go and shit myself. Yeah. The other fuck up that happened with the poutine, though, is that I thought that poutine was like a side. Yeah, well, I thought it was nice. But I thought it was like a side.

Nothing to meal, isn't it? Well, because like in Yeah, well, I thought it was nice. But I thought it was like a side. Nothing a meal, isn't it? Well, because like in Australia, right, if you got chips and gravy, which is like our equivalent, you would kind of. Is it? Well, it's the same thing. Chips and gravy. It's like a. But if you were like, say you went out for lunch with two people. Yeah.

You both get a sandwich. You go, oh, should we get some chips and gravy like on the side? Great. To share. Delicious. You know. Yep. went out for lunch with two people you both get a sandwich you go oh should we get some chips and gravy like on the side great to share you know and so we go into this place and they've got like all these different types of poutine and it's like a traditional poutine and they've got like all these random like buffalo chicken ones and stuff and then on a separate like part of the menu they had like philly cheese steaks and like cheeseburgers and stuff like that and i was like oh so i went with producer Cam. Yep.

And I was like, oh, do you want to get a cheeseburger each and then we'll just share like a small traditional poutine? Yeah, right. Because I was like then that way we just like there's a few chips in the middle for us. The same way that you would normally get like chips in a burger anyway. So you're saying like, oh, fuck. But like that's actually a normal amount like but as in but if

yeah now that we know that poutine's like what it is yeah um yeah and so it actually turns out they don't have philly cheesesteaks and cheeseburgers on the menu it's philly cheesesteak and cheeseburger like poutine ah so we ended up with three serves of poutine right and we've got like the traditional one that's just like gravy and the cheese curds and stuff yeah and then we've got two other poutines which is like chips gravy and like mashed up cheeseburger patty and bacon and like cheese sauce and like pickles and that sounds like fucked in a good way though yeah it's not good no it's not good and because we had three of them we were just like like we didn't even put a dent in it like yeah because when he said yeah that'll be 45 dollars

i was like fuck that's a bit rich but like okay yeah it's because it was like so much food um but yeah so and i didn't tip them either so well you sort of paid for your ape. Oh, yeah, I paid for it. Yeah. Not with money, but with my dignity. Yeah. Well, I had a good time chatting to some tapas without you, making some small talk. Good, good.

Well, actually, just before I'd gone off to the toilet, you did. So those people got a lovely meet and greet experience with some of me, some of you. Yeah. Later this week, I'm pretty sure we're going to dedicate an entire segment to the excuses people gave to their bosses to get out of me, some of you. Yeah. Later this week, I'm pretty sure we're going to dedicate an entire segment to the excuses people gave to their bosses to get out of work to come down to the meet and greets. Yeah. The next one in LA is on a Sunday, so there won't be that issue, but a few mid-week ones.

Hey, people work on the weekend. True, true, true. It's how the world goes around, mate. Cafes. Yeah. Flight attendants, everything. Yeah, you know all that shit you do on a weekend? Yeah.

People do that for you. People have to do that, yeah. But TARP is very creative. Very creative. Veryants, everything. Yeah, you know all that shit you do on a weekend? Yeah. People do that for you. People have to do that, yeah. But TARP is very creative. Very creative, yeah. And final, it's not really an FAQ, it's more of a statement. And you know the saying, it goes without saying? Yeah. I think sometimes that's a shame because sometimes we should say those things.

Like what? Aren't TARPers just the best people in the world? Oh, it goes without saying. It goes without saying. But I do want to say it today. Yeah. Everybody's been making friends. Like this lady in Toronto.

Toronto. You have to tip there. Don't let me know that. I've heard. Got a lift with another tar of she'd never met before because they both found out. They were both in the Facebook event. Yep, and they're an hour away out of town.

They go, oh, you know, driving in by myself. Can I, you know, anyone need a ride? Making friends. A lot of the lines have been a lot longer than we've expected. So, we've felt a bit. Thank you. Great problem to have. Great problem to have.

But the amount of people making friends in the line, the amount of people, oh, this guy's got to go to work soon. You go in front of me problem to have. Yeah. But the amount of people making friends in the line, the amount of people, oh, this guy's got to go to work soon. You go in front of me, all good. Yeah. For the cold ones that we did, I don't think we accepted the offer, but people are like, can I get you a hot chocolate? Yeah.

Well, you guys look cold. People brought us- People brought hand warmers. Hand warmers. Yeah. This lovely lady in Toronto, and we've still got them now, gave us this big pack of vitamin C lollies because they could tell our voice- We're working our way through those.

Yeah, could tell our voices were getting raspy. That was from Catherine, who was from Perth. She lived in Toronto for 26 years or something. Isn't it cooked hearing an Australian accent over here? Oh, and they walk over and they go, hi. And I go, oh, that's what we sound like. Is that what we sound like? How embarrassing.

There was also in Toronto, actually, I saw this on Facebook afterwards. But do you remember those three girls that all came over to us together, but they, like, weren't friends? Yeah. Jill was one of their names. Yes. I'm sorry, I don't remember. I don't recall the other two girls.

I remember Jill because we tried to steal Jill's pen. Yeah, we did. That sounds a lot like what we did to everybody. And the three of them met in the line, became friends, and they went out for Mexican food after. I saw that in the group. Isn't that the most beautiful thing?

I saw that, like, I was, like, crying in my bed after the meet and greet with, like, sore feet. I'm like, how beautiful. Did you actually cry after that one? No, I didn't. It was the closest I've come, though. Yeah. Yeah.

Because our feet were like ice blocks. We were standing for five hours. We were standing, like, on the cold concrete. We need one of those. You know how hairdressers stand on those, like, gel pads? We need those. Yeah. Because our feet were like ice blocks. We were standing for five hours. We were standing like on the cold concrete. We need one of those. You know how hairdressers stand on those like gel pads? We need those. Yeah. What was crazy is those three girls went out and had drinks,

then got home and we were still out there. Yeah. Yeah. That made me cry. They actually woke up the next morning and we were still out there. Still out there. But like I said, everyone meeting in the line, people bringing dogs and the dogs cheering up the kid

who's patiently waiting five rows behind. The dogs, honestly, the dogs. I'm really missing my dog, Pippa. Ryan, you're really missing your dog, BJ. And they're like such a sight for sore eyes, honestly. Yeah. But thank you, everyone, who's come down so far. It's been pretty incredible.

It sounds like we've already done it. You'll have to see it almost. That's so beautiful. Oh, I got a good one. Okay. I do too. Oh, it sounds like we've already done it. You'll have to see it almost. That's so beautiful. Oh, well, I got a good one. Oh, okay. I do too, but I just was like. You go. You go.

You know, they're saying, well, God, a lot of sayings today. You know, they're saying like, over my dead body. Well, I saw this online and this girl whose mum has sadly passed away. Her mum had like a famous cookie recipe. Yeah. And people would always ask her for the recipe and she mum had, like, a famous cookie recipe. Yeah. And people would always ask her for the recipe and she'd say, oh, over my dead body. Her mum's passed away and on the back of her tombstone,

they've had engraved the recipe for the cookies. So, because she always says, over my dead body. And so, there's, like, a full-on recipe, like, on the back of there. And I just thought that's really sweet and like creative and funny creative and funny but also just how wholesome that she was like oh i can share that now like that's it's the worlds now i thought that's really really nice so you're pro gatekeeping what how do you get that out of what i said you're such a fuck um That is quite funny, though. One question.

Was it like a straight recipe or is it like a food blogger and on the back of the tombstone it's like... So my parents met in... The tombstone is 900 metres long. It's 12 pages. Yeah, you've got to click through it. It's actually an iPad on the back and you've got to scroll through. She's got some AdSense ads coming through.

Oh, yeah, she's making cash. Yeah, she's not an idiot. Wouldn't it be... Is there anything that your mum would never let you do? I was allowed to catch the train. I was going to say you can't catch the train over her. Because the concept of over my dead body just seems like a power play in Flex. But you can't do the train thing.

My mum's buried under the train tracks. What do you mean? No, I was like, if you weren't allowed to eat and solve vinegar chips, then you could go over there and be like, well, guess what I'm doing over your dead body. Catching the train would be a hard one. Yeah. Depending on where she's buried. Do you want to go?

Yeah, I think I will. Cute or harrowing? You let me know. I mean, all the things that you've just said, harrowing. Juliet is in London and she listens every day on the way to school. Oh, thanks, Jules. Her friend knows how much she loves the podcast, so she got her these pyjamas as a present.

Toni, have a look in our group chat at the tarp pyjamas. Oh, my God. How? There's my face. And your face. And it's our faces, what, 50 or 60 times? Yeah, like tessellated, like, all over it, like a big collage. So...

What a cute idea for a gift. So you're saying cute, not harrowing? Oh, no, I think that's sweet. I mean, it doesn't look good. You wouldn't wear it out. Well, py idea for a gift. So you're saying cute, not harrowing? Oh, no, I think that's sweet. I mean, it doesn't look good. You wouldn't wear it out. Well, pyjamas, yeah. No, some pyjamas you can get away with. That is true.

Yeah. You've seen me in my nightie a lot of times. Yeah, but with that. Normally it's on the floor. Sorry. Was that your going out nightie though? No, that wasn't my going out nightie. You're right.

No, we knew. Oh, fuck you. That's very, very cute. I love that. Thanks for sharing that, Juliet. What a great friend you have. Yeah, that is great. I don't have any friends that would buy me such a thoughtful gift. Would you like me to get you that? No. Oh, whose faces would you get on it if you had it? Pete Davidson, so that I could say like, oh, just hopping in with Pete Davidson. That's quite funny. Yeah, thank you. That's quite funny. Cheers.

That's quite funny. Cheers, yeah. Cheers, yeah, cool. Maybe we'll come back and do this tomorrow. Yeah, no, let's do that. What is on the show tomorrow? Oh, favourite segment. More lies your mum told you.

Oh, told you that you couldn't have the cookie recipe. And, fuck. There was an incident. No, not an incident. Something happened. We witnessed one of the great accidental comedy routines of all time on a plane. And it was like Ashton Kutcher was going to jump out. Poor air hostess didn't realise she was giving one of the great comedy routines of all time.

Bless her. Cotton socks. Bless her. Cotton socks. Bless her. She was doing her best. It just wasn't her day. And that's okay. But we all kind of forced each other not to discuss it because I think I've actually got a theory about why it was so bad.

Yep. Okay. And we'll reveal one of our flights was... Love you. All right. See you tomorrow. Love you. All right. See you tomorrow. Love you, bye.