Toni and Ryan - Divorcing Your Brother

Episode Date: January 15, 2024

This is a bit of a different confessional. Though... Aren't they all? lol LOVE YACheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Yeah, g'day. Welcome to the Australian podcast. G'day, it's Tony and bloody Ryan. It's Tony and bloody Ryan, and we are calling Brisbane, which is the spiritual Bogan home. Yeah, we're on our way to Breeze Vegas, mate. Up to Queensland, sweetheart. Yeah, up to the QLD.

I can't talk. We're calling Emily. BM. Hello? Hello, Emily! Emily! Hi! We just did a real off-cut. Oh my goodness. Yeah, we're off to Breeze Vegas, but we can't actually keep that up, Emily. I. Hi. We just did a real off cut.

Oh, my goodness. Yeah, we're off to Breeze Vegas, but we can't actually keep that up, Emily. I hope that's okay. Emily, what have we interrupted you doing? What have you got on today? I am in the middle of a naturopath appointment at the moment. What's a naturopath? Like herbal medication kind of vibes.

I don't know. All right. Well, before you get too stoned, will you approve this podcast? Of course I will approve this podcast. Amazing. Sweet. Hey, it's Emily from Brisbane, and I approve this podcast. All right, happy new year coming up today. Happy new year.

There's a phenomenon I've never been a part of and I'm pretty late to the party. MySpace? Yeah, I've just joined. Yeah. Being my top eight. Been my top eight. Was it top eight? You can choose. No, no, no, but was it eight?

No, so you can choose four, eight, twelve. Oh, yeah, you could too. Customise your own page. I was writing HTML before I knew that it was a job. Like, I used to make my own layouts, as I think most people did. Or you could go in and go like, oh, that's blue, but I want it to be black, and you could like rewrite those bits.

Rewrite the code and put a little music player in there. Yeah. Oh, profile songs. Bring back. Imagine if on Instagram you could have a profile song. We can kind of have songs on, you know, how you can put behind a carousel now. Is that a gateway to profile songs?

I just love. What would be your profile song? That is a great question Probably Torn by Natalie Imbruglia That feels right Yeah Because it is my favourite song ever But I do go through phases

Like at the moment I can't stop listening to Bitch I said what I said I was just about to go I've never I was literally As a joke About to suggest that song to you

Were you actually? Because I'm also in a bit of a Doja Cat phase I just love that fucking song. She devil, she a bad little bitch, she a rebel. I just love it. Like I listen to it in the car all the time. I think I listened to it like six times this morning. I tell you what's a weird part of that song that I fucking love is the

Oh. Yeah. I love that part. I just love that she doesn't sound like she gives a fuck and she's just like, you're listening to my song, like, sick. Yeah. Like, she's like, yeah, you can come if you want, I don't care. Yeah.

Are you doing that, eh? Whatever. I just love it. It's such a good song. I'm so glad we're on the same train. I'm going to share that song to my Instagram story later. Okay. I'll let Doja that song to my Instagram story later. Okay.

I'll let Doja know. So that I don't forget. Let's do, these are top confessions. Forgive me, Tapa, for I have sinned. Tup, Tony and Ryan podcast. Yeah, people submit these anonymously to TonyandRyan.com.au. And guys, it's not a murder mystery, but we've got a mystery on our hands here. You know that I'm into a murder mystery at the moment.

Did you watch that movie? Oh, Bridget, text me and ask me what it was called. I tell you what. Oh, can I tell you about that? Because she was like, oh, what was that movie? So I was with Mabel and it was like late in the afternoon. I was like, oh, we'll watch that movie that Tony recommended to her. Yeah, nice.

Appreciate that. But I was like hands on with her, so I didn't really have it it and I was like, oh, I can't remember what it's named. And I go, hey, Bridge, can you text Tony and ask her what that movie is? And then she texted me saying, hi, Tony, what was the name? And then she goes, and then my phone beeps and I go, can you check that? And she goes, don't worry about it.

Imagine though if she'd said like, hey, my dumb husband, can't remember that name. Like you imagine she'd said something like like hell gnarly about you. That Ryan soon to be dumped John had a question. So we still haven't got, because then by the time the baby goes down, you're just like, oh, do you want to just like sit on the couch and not? But also you kind of, those kinds of movies, you have to like be switched on anyway.

Yeah. But we haven't got there yet, but we got a mystery nonetheless. Okay. Anonymous says, guess why I dumped this guy? Oh. We do love a good dump. Ing, sorry.

Guess why I dumped this guy? One night we're in an old school hotel that has a four poster bed. Oh, they don't. They look fancy. Do you reckon they their mozzie net over it? I wanted one of those so bad when I was a kid. Why?

Did you sleep outside? No. But I just wanted one of those like nets that you like climb into your bed and the net is like around it. How could you arrange that? I don't want it now. Okay. But I remember as a kid being like, that's like a princess thing.

Oh, because when you said that the net sounded like a mosquito net, not like a beautiful lacy thing. I mean, yeah, I guess it is. But it like comes from the roof, like drapes down. Yeah, beautiful. But a four-poster bed with like the things on it. Yeah, that would be such a pain. It would get so dusty.

My ex loved tying me up. And this night. I mean, that is why you get a bed like that, I guess. Yeah. And this night he had all four limbs tied up to all four posts. Cool. Yeah. Hot.

You ever done that? You ever tied someone up? Or been tied up? No. I don't think so. That was a yes, obviously. I don't think so. Who'd you tie up?

Was it the girl you dumped on Facebook Messenger? Yeah, she's still in the basement. She tied up. It's collecting dark energy. No, have you? I don't know. I don't think so. Just say.

I don't think so. Well, you have. No. Who was it? Was it recently? No, no, it wasn't. No. Who was it? Was it recently? No, no, it wasn't. No. Who was recently? No, it would definitely not recently

if at all, but definitely not recently. So, a different person to your wife? Yes. It's not my confession. This is anonymous confession. It's anonymous, so no one will know it's you.

And then I said, Bridget. So what's Bridget? No wonder you didn't watch that movie. You guys were busy. Being tied up to the four poster bed, all four limbs. Nice. It was going great until the fire alarm went off. In a sheer panic, he jumped off me, pulled his trousers on

and proceeded to run out the door. I was tied up, all four limbs. And... Jarrod, are you coming back? I was pulling, wrangling, trying to do anything to free myself, but it wasn't working. I was spread equal, naked and trapped. The whole time I was thinking, this is how I will die

and this is how they will find me. See, that's the worst part, isn't it? And then is your ghost always tied up as well? You're just getting railed for life in, is that a heaven or a hell stance? I think it depends who you ask. Some people might really like it. He returned 30 minutes later. 30 minutes?

I thought you were about to say 30 seconds. Like, ran out the door and then went, ooh, Elizabeth's still in the pink. Why'd you say your mum's name? Don't know. Regretted it straight away. I've seen her ghost, and let me tell you. He returned 30 minutes later and said, oh, all good, false alarm. Thank God.

Yeah. Any guesses why he's now my ex? You would be 30 minutes is a long time. 30 seconds would feel like an eternity in that situation. And because you wouldn't even want to yell out, like, help, because then someone would come in and see you. Yeah. Like, fuck.

What a jerk off. What a fuck. Yeah. Like, fuck. What a jerk off. What a fuck it, yeah. All good though. False alarm. Did he bring back a snack? Like, did he go like, oh, look, there was no fire, but I realised what I did wrong and I bought you a double cheeseburger. You know what I mean?

First of all, yes, I agree that would be perfect. I'd half forgive someone that did that. I don't know why my mind went there, but he, in my mind, walks in and said. Are you thinking about how, like. He walked in and said, do you want a snack? And then just got his dick back out. That's where my mind went. He sounds like a fuck boy.

He'd probably say that. Yeah. Was he hard the whole time when he was downstairs? Oh. Or they all go, oh my God, can't believe this is happening. He's like, yeah, you should see what I left upstairs. What a dick. Yeah.

Yeah. Well. Yeah. Yeah. New confession here from Anonymous. So I'm in this hotel. Yeah. I let these girls sign up. I thought I married the most amazing guy ever and had the most perfect marriage

until I learned the truth. Oh. We thought it would be fun to do a DNA test. Never is. Ryan found out he didn't have a mum. I have two mums and I knew I was created with a donor, so I was curious about it all. Fair.

Any guesses where this is headed? She's married to her brother. Turns out my husband's. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no Either he ticked some box on some form and never really thought twice about it or there was a mix-up at the clinic. But either way, we both had the same dad. My husband was also my half-brother. Call me fucking Hey Jude because nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. What the fuck?

You're reading those T's and C's. Do you know what I mean? Like they're not T's and C's that you're just going yeah, yeah, yeah. Like yep, share the sperm. Who cares? So. I've ticked boxes because you know how I had to get my guys checked and we did that.

To come in your pocket. Yeah. So afterwards there was a choice to like, there's like, it can be destroyed or you can keep it like in the freezer forever in case you like. Oh, one day need it. Or if you died and Bridget wanted to get some of your bits. Even that, they're like, you have to sit with like this counsellor

and they go through all these kind of grim possibilities and you have to decide what's going to happen. And I think I ticked the box that it's going to be donated to science. Oh, yes. So they can use it for research and that kind of stuff. They go, wow, we've never seen so much. So the thing is, is that do you remember a little while ago last year when you said to me like how far away, like if my partner Torbs

and I found out that we were like distant cousins or something. How close is too close. How close is too close, exactly. Like that's brother and sister. Yeah, if you found out Torbs was your brother. I mean we didn't grow up together so there's not, you know, if you grow up as brother and sister, that's obviously not. But we didn't grow up together and we don't plan on having kids.

So does that make it better? I think the kids, yes. But let me just put an asterisk here. Over the course of this podcast, there's been some fucking crooked possibilities thrown up and Tony has never said I would have to break up with Alex for that because anything. Because I love him so much. We do have a lot in common though.

Like it wouldn't actually, like somewhere along the line we must be because we do have a lot in common. You can have things in common and not be related, which is probably recommended in this situation. Probably more likely, yeah. His family's all Irish and like all from Ireland. Most Irish are. But like all there.

So it's like it's not as if. Where's your parents' ancestry from? Don't do a test. Don't find out. They've been in Australia for like a few generations, but before that I think my nan is Scottish because she's a walker. Like, so the short way. Sorry, I thought you meant like just she walks a bit.

So she must be. It's like she walks a bit. Must be Scottish. Yeah. Everyone knows that Scott's always walking. Yeah. No, no, no. Like her last name's Walker.

Yeah. Yeah. So I think they're Scottish back there. So, like, unlikely, but, I mean, not impossible. Let's not find out. It felt so weird and gross. What would you, I mean, you were literally adopted. It's so possible.

Well, I had to check in America. I was like, tell me your family history real quick before I stick this in. Oh, before I tie you up. While you're tying him up, you go, look, so hypothetically. Two questions. Were you adopted and do you have a preferred not? Yeah. Sailors?

Great. Me too. That's the only one I know how to do. No, there was this moment where I, and it actually makes zero sense when you think about the details, but let me just tell you this moment. I was with this girl in college because I knew that my birth father was from America. So that was like a double asterisk red flag in the US because you're like,

oh. Yeah, I mean the US is pretty big. A lot of people there. And so I think it was like the next day and we're hanging out with their friends. So after you'd already. Yeah, it's too late to change your mind. Too late, yeah.

And something comes up in conversation about looking like your parents, does it run in the family, whatever. And I was like, oh, like, don't know, I'm adopted. And she goes, oh, me too. And everyone at like the cafe breakfast just went. Stiffens up. Don't say stiffens up. Don't say stiffens up.

And I go, what are you even on? She goes, keep in mind, like, we definitely didn't look the same, as in to be a sibling. But I went, when you were born? She goes, 87. I go, shit, me too. Twins. Twins.

Like, half could make sense, but twins, like, absolutely not. I go, which month? She goes, June. I go, me too. And then it was like, which day? And she was like, oh, the 25th. And I was like, oh, it was the 28th. Is that still possible? And she's like. I go, me too. And then it was like, which day? And she was like, oh, the 25th. And I was like, oh, it was the 28th. Is that still possible?

And she's like, I don't think so. There's a huge gap between the first one and the second one. Yeah. But then one of her friends was like, you know, she's black, right? And I was like, yeah. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Okay. The confessor says, it just felt so weird and gross that we got divorced. And they'd been married for a few years and she's like this is the dream guy i actually completely appreciate why they would get divorced because they're like oh this just feels like a bit too close whatever like the next time you like go to bed then you like touching you is it and then it just doesn't yeah i understand it. It was honestly so fucking painful.

I'm so glad that we hadn't had kids yet. Well, yeah, because they actually are brother and sister. Yeah. But honestly, now, I don't know if this is a, I get this statement, but I don't know if this is a controversial statement, but I actually get it. To be honest, I wish we never did the test and we never found out. Ignorance is bliss.

Yeah. Though if you were planning on having kids, though, that's the only thing, right? But like, oh. Do you want to know something? And this is someone that listens to this podcast. I hope you're okay. That's so traumatic. It's fucked.

I won't go into the details because heaven forbid fucking defamation and blah blah blah but there's like a bit of fallout with the how could this have got mixed up and. Oh yeah of course. Can I just leave you with a sentence though which is probably the craziest part about it. Believe it or not. Yep.

It turns out we both have 22 half siblings. Because the clinic used the same donor way more than they're supposed to. So I don't know if it was like, and again, don't think about it too much, but like a great strong sample, or they had lots of, you know, like maybe it was a fruitful day or whatever. But usually they said when someone donates, they might use like two or three or four.

Well, to avoid this, yeah. Which is like, yeah, so they've got, so she's got herself, her husband. Ex-husband. Ex-husband and 20 others that are all like scattered around the state. Have you watched that show about like the doctor who was using himself

as the donor and he got like 9,000 children and he went to prison? Like he got charged for being a serial cummer. Yeah. Sorry, what was the charge? Serial cummer. I've been looked at myself. Cuff me. It was a pretty serious thing, though.

Yeah. Yeah. Hey, it's Emily from Brisbane, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over on our Patreon. Tapas, that's Tony and Ryan podcast. And our Patreon is actually completely separate from the Facebook group. There's lots of other content in there. We do live streams. You can see Tony Bingo.

Tony Bingo. Have I crossed anything off recently? No, don't tell me. Don't tell me. Don do live streams. You can see Tony Bingo. Tony Bingo. Have I crossed anything off recently? No, don't tell me. Don't tell me. Don't tell me. I'm not at liberty to say. But yeah, there's lots of stuff over there and we post like different things to what we post on Facebook, different to Instagram, different to YouTube. So you

can check it out if you like to. A few of the people that are in our top champion tier are Maka from The Ville. Good on you, Maka. From The Ville. Brad Parker. Thanks, Brad. Holy Noah.

BP. Joshua Silver. JS. Holy Noah. Maddie and Kirsten Janis. Yeah, those ones didn't have it, so I couldn't do it. Kirsten Janis? Oh, this is you, mate.

Not the fanny. Touch me on the Kirsten Janus. Anus. Anus. No. So there is a phenomenon in the world that I've never been a part of and I didn't think I was missing out on anything. In fact, you know when you kind of look on with something

that you haven't taken on yet and you go, oh, I don't really understand the hype? Something for me like that is a bit like Game of Thrones. Yeah, never got onto that. Never got into it. I've never looked at it and gone, I was just like, oh, I don't think that's for me. I never jumped on.

But now that I'm reading a lot, my boyfriend, he was like, oh, maybe you'd like the books. But like, because I didn't like the TV show very much. It was a bit confusing. Have you liked the books? I bought them on my Kindle. Okay.

I haven't read them yet because I'm in a different genre at the moment. But considering you want to read 20 books this year, isn't reading one of them the equivalent of reading 20 books? Aren't they like thick? Is it a thick bitch? I think they are. Well, I'm just saying, don't make it too hard for yourself of reading 20 books? Aren't they, like, thick? Is it a thick bitch? I think they are. Well, I'm just saying don't make it too hard for yourself with your 20. You know what I'm saying?

Yeah. Get a couple of easy 120 pages in there. But I'm going pretty well. You are? You're still on three, though? I'm on four now. The other night I stayed up till 2.30 a.m. reading a book. I just could not put it down.

What the fuck? What night was it? It was Saturday night. So Torbs jumped on and was playing games like with his buddies on Saturday night. And he, I think because like it's his mates in Perth, so like time difference. They're like, oh, we'll jump on

at 8 o'clock. And he's like, fuck, that's like 11 for me. Anyway, and so he jumped on at like 11 o'clock and I hopped into bed. And like 15 minutes later he came into, I jumped into bed like to read. I was like, oh, get all cosy. And 15 minutes later he hopped into bed and I was like, oh, did no one come online?

He goes, I've been playing games for four hours. It's 2.30. Fuck. And I was like, I've been reading all that time. What book was that you were limited to say? The one that I was reading was The Good Sister by Sally Hepworth. I read heaps of her books. Fuck, they're so good.

Yeah, right. And it was 2.30 and I was like, I've got about 10 pages to go. Like, I need to finish it. Yeah, and I finished it in a night. In a sitting. Fuck. Yeah. That's heckers.

Anyway, so, yeah, I mean, I'm on the reading train at the moment. But aside from the reading, I've had the best summer of my life. How come? I am now a passenger princess what is it i didn't know that this was the life that i was destined for but apparently it is what do you mean okay so you know like that i guess it started on tiktok or online or. And it's like being the passenger princess, like, oh, I don't drive anywhere like I get driven. Oh. And so I've been with my partner Torbs for like we've been doing it

for 10 years. Yeah. We've been officially together 10 years this year in September. And potential siblings for life. Yeah, which is so nice, isn't it? And he's never had his licence. Yeah. And then late last year, just before we went to America,

he got his licence so that he could like move house for us because he was going to be here doing it himself. And so I've never been, I've always been the driver. So I was curious when he got his licence if you would let him drive your Audi. And he did, yeah. But was there a bit of like, because I know I've asked to drive the Audi and was swiftly rejected. You asked me about a week after I got it, in fairness.

That is fair. Yeah. But I didn't know if that was like your Audi. And I feel like you like, and I don't mean this in a mean way. No, I'm not taking it that way. Like you like to be in control. If you're driving, I know where we're going. I've punched into maps.

I know where I'm going to park. Like I know what I'm doing. I also really love driving. Like I know that a lot of people are like, oh, I don't really care. I really enjoy it. Like I actually like if we go on a big drive, I'm happy to drive because I dig it. But even if, say, you and I have to do something and we go, oh,

do you want to come to mine? Do you mind driving out to mine? You're like, no, no, I dig it. But even if, say, you and I have to do something and we go, oh, do you want to come to mine? Do you mind driving out to mine? You're like, no, no, I love driving. I'm happy to come out to your place. And I have a car that I love to drive. Yep. And I just also enjoy the alone time. And anyway, like I just, I really vibe it.

So all these things lead to? Me being the driver. Boy, was I wrong. Really? Yeah. I have been picked up, dropped off. I've been the one who got to say, oh, get me a surprise when Torbs went into the servo. Isn't that nice?

Which is so fun. And I got to be the one that's like, oh, can you also get nuggets when we're going through the drive-through? Yeah. And normally I'm the one that has to say it. But I got to be the one that was like blah, blah, blah. And I've been the DJ. I've been the navigator. I've been the sitter.

Had a little iced coffee and I just went left up here. These are your strengths. Yeah. These are your areas. Turns out I'm very good at being picked up and put down. Wait. Picked up and dropped off. Picked up and dropped off. Picked up and dropped off.

I like a chain dry set. So I know one of your like things that can irk you is being accused, because you're not, but being accused of being high maintenance. Yep. Did you say the word princess earlier? Passenger princess, yes. This does have some like take care of me, sir. I'm owning it.

Yep. I'm actually owning it. Yeah. And then like. Maintenance, high. High. I think you got to booze. Is this, because when we're in the US, we, okay, side note,

we all spent so fucking long getting our international driver's license. Then we got there, realised they were driving the other side of the road and got terrified and none of us drove. We all got so scared. So we booked all these cars, like all these hire cars, and we cancelled the reservations and booked people to drive us instead because we were like, we just can't do that. Well, there's like the equivalent of air tasking.

It's like a bit long distance and stuff. Yeah. But I remember I said at the end of the trip, I go, as I hate to admit this, but like it's kind of nice being driven around. Hey, I'm Tony's like, yeah. So everybody in America has those big SUVs. Big cars. So like you're in the very back.

There's like 19 people in the car because we obviously like, we had to do an Uber pool a couple of times. You know, we're splitting the fare. And we're sitting right at the back, phone charges, your own air conditioner port at the back. And they give you water in the thing. What's the Chevrolet

where they don't have the middle seat in the back so you can walk through to the back. Like what Kim Kardashian gets dropped off to the Met Ball in. Yeah. It is. Like you, me and producer Cam RIP, we were like, oh, my God, we are Kardashians.

We were literally getting picked up like the Kardashians. So you're Kardashian in Melbourne now. Yes, I am. You're being driven around. I'm being driven around. And then so like because it was my car, there's still a bit of like, oh, well, obviously I get to pick the music. You know how it's when we like driver gets to pick?

But I'm like, well, you're driving my car. So I think we're listening to Dallas here. So it's still a power play. The power dynamic still sits with the owner of the Audi. Well, yeah. Is he going to start contributing to the repayments and the insurance? So actually we did just purchase Torb's little second-hand, third-hand car.

So no longer will he be driving the Audi, which means that I'll probably be getting picked up and dropped off a bit less. Because we're not sharing a car. Because you don't need to be picked up or dropped off. Yeah. Do you want me to call Billy? No. No, thank you. Is that how to insure? No, thank you. I can make sure he can get picked up and dropped off. Yeah. Do you want me to call Billy? No. No, thank you.

Is that how to insure? No, thank you. I can make sure you can get picked up and dropped off. It is insured, but no, that's okay. Okay. I don't really want him knowing my address, if I'm honest. No, no, you just tell him where you're leaving it. Nah, that's okay.

Preston Market, parked at the back of the train station. He goes, there's two Audis. He's right, I did to both of them. Yeah. Yeah. Shame. Hope Alan's insured. So, yeah, so Torb's now, unfortunately,

so I think it might be the end of me being a passenger princess. Oh, but I still feel like when you guys are, like, cruising on a Saturday or you're going out to dinner on a Friday night, like, he can drive. Oh, yeah, he can drive. Not that you're a huge drinker. I get a bit tiddly. I know you don't hate slapping a few old fashions around. I don't, yeah.

Or a little champers. Yeah. Just one. So what about if you come over for a swim during the summer? Oh, yeah. Then you can have a couple of drinks and he can drive your drunk ass home instead of the other way around. Yeah, that does sound very nice actually.

So maybe not day to day, but I feel like you can still live your passenger princess dreams. It's really fun. Yeah. I didn't know how fun it was getting driven around. I think there's, of the many personality traits of Tony, one that I love is the giddy 16

year old, like, my boyfriend. My boyfriend can drive. That, this, most people experienced this 12 years ago. But I'm getting it now. Late in life. Late bloomer. So, Han, let's just, just to give you the opportunity to use the line, say if you still just had the one car, how are you getting home from work today?

My boyfriend's going to pick me up. Will you go through the drive-thru on the way home? Probably. How long has he had his license for? Oh, he got it in October. So what's that? Only three, four months. Now, obviously, he's new to driving and needs to concentrate on the road.

Yeah. But since you've been a passenger princess. I haven't jerked him off yet. Okay. I want to. I think. Well, actually, now that he's got his car. He needs to be christened.

So I did say like, oh, maybe we could go on a date in your car. And he said, oh, you know what I would do? Dizz in your mouth? Yeah, but no, that's not what he said. He goes, oh, I'll drive around the block and pull back around and then like pick you up. And come and knock on the door, pick you up at eight. That's so sweet.

Can that be my love to say? That's an incredible waste of petrol. It's just a bit silly. It's just a bit fun. It's ruining the planet. Fuck you. It's just a bit of fun. I'll be honest, it was fun.

It was so fun. Thank God it was fun. God. I don't know, who do you answer to for ruining the planet? Who's the boss? Who's the boss? No, that is cute. Isn't that so sweet?

And did you want to make that you love to see it? Oh, I have another one. Oh, no, I've got a really good one. Okay. Okay. My actual you love to see it is from Samantha Achille in our Facebook group. Samantha says, I'm in school to be a midwife and today I delivered my first baby. Fuck yeah.

How good? Isn't that so sweet? I imagine of all the jobs, say when I finish accounting, right, you're like, oh, my first tax return. Who actually gives a fuck? I care. That's fine. You can't stuff it up or whatever.

It's just paid. But it's like an actual human. Yeah. Like a real human. And that's coming out. And you're like catching a fucking real baby. A person. Imagine how nervous you'd be the first time.

Oh, my God. Yeah, it slips straight through. So, yeah. My soundscapes. That's awesome. That's so cool. Congratulations, Samantha, and congratulations to the lucky baby and the lucky couple, whoever had the baby.

Yeah. Good on them. Hopefully they're not brother and sister, as we discussed earlier. The mum and dad aren't brother and sister. Or the midwife and them. Tarpa Paulina is from Poland. Paulina from Poland. And she said, we're the home of bisons and onions.

Oh, that sounds nice. Does it? No. She sent this in and goes, Australia looks great. I've been loving learning about Australia in the podcast and I saw this news story about an Australian and I need you guys to read it

and tell me if this is a real thing that happens in Australia. So open up your phone there. I've sent you the news article that Paulina has sent me. This 110-year-old Australian man knits sweaters for injured penguins. Aww. Isn't that the cutest fucking thing you've ever seen? That is so sweet. Because little penguins get injured and they need to keep warm

while they're being taken care of down at the little centre in Phillip Island. So he makes them little sweaters. They've got little patterns on them. One of them has a penguin on the front like the books, like Penguin Publishing. Oh, and one has a little seascape. One's got a fishbone. How cute is it?

And that old man just knitting away. And he just looks so happy, doesn't he? So I've got this theory and this has been developed because my grandma is a fucking legend who is- Betty. Betty. 90 something. She can't rhyme, but she's a lovely woman.

She can. She just doesn't have to in every poem because that's not required. But it's like with your brain, use it or lose it. Because she's like writing poems. She went back in her 50s to finish high school because back in her day, that's not a thing you'd do. And she's like goes to the Living and Learning Centre and does new stuff. And it's like if you keep using your brain.

Totally. And so this guy, he's 110. It's like how is he still alive? Because he's like doing something. He's got a purpose to his day and he's hanging out with little penguins living the fucking dream. That's so sweet. What a legend.

So yes, Paulina, that's what happens in Australia. We all do that. Yep. I'll be do that. Yep. I'll be doing that. Yep. Tomorrow on the show, guys. Yep. We're going to find out if Tony Lodge is down with the youth.

Oh. I mean, you saying down with the youth. I mean, surely it's a strike straight away. Gen Alpha has its own English language. Which one's that? Which one's Alpha? Is that me? No, no.

What? Is that Gen Z? You're a millennial. So below us is Z and then it's like below them. Like they're real young kids. Can they even talk yet? Mate, they're fucking out of control. Can they actually talk yet?

Because aren't they babies? No, they're fucking out of control. Can they actually talk yet? Because aren't they babies? No, they're like young'uns. Oh. Like 10 years old. You're like, Gen Z's are old, mate. Do they talk at 10? I believe so. Oh.

Yeah. Good for them. But tomorrow, Tony, with no prior knowledge, is going to explain what some of these words mean. And I'm sure the internet's not going to be fussed either way. All right, we'll chat to you tomorrow. Love you, bye.