Toni and Ryan - Do you smell what Laroq is cooking?

Episode Date: March 23, 2022

The dumbest things you've ever heard and Ryan is a grumpy old man while reviewing Geordie Shore. Love ya! T x Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hi, is that Cara? Oh, my God, yeah, it is. Oh, my God, well, it's Tony and Ryan. Hi. And my dad. I'm in the car with my dad. Oh, hi, Dad.

Well, Cara, we wanted to know if you would approve this podcast for the day. Yes, I would. Yeah. But also, Dad, will you approve the podcast as well? Dad, do you approve the podcast? Yes. Yay! Today's podcast brought to you by Cara and Dad.

And Cara's dad. This is Cara from Virginia and I approve this podcast. So no one can see this at the moment, but Tony's just been, actually I can play a little bit of it. Tony's been dancing around to Lado, Big Energy. I needed a bit of an energy boost and you said, oh, have you heard that energy song? And I was like, nah, and I'm loving it.

So Big Big Energy. Is it Big Dick Energy? Yeah. But the radio version. The mum and dad version. And also I feel like I want to explain what I'm doing. What are you doing? So normally when we record, I'm sitting down but you're standing up because you've got to press all the buttons and do all the stuff

and I'm sitting down and I've just decided maybe if I stand up, I'll feel like a bit more. But, I mean, I will say the original reason that I wanted to stand up is because I thought I'd look skinnier in the videos. Let us know in the comments. Yeah. Have you lost 25 pounds? No, I'm just standing.

Yeah, I actually just stood up. My hoofs are fucking holding me up for the day instead. Like when I complimented your new haircut last week and you're like, I just washed it. Yeah. Have you lost weight? No, I've just stood up. No, I stood up.

I've just stretched my body out. I'm not crawled into a hole like I normally am. Me standing up is the most exercise I've done in fucking 25 years. All right, coming up today, Geordie Shore, the first season. Geordie Shore, where are you? Yeah, fuck, I love Geordie Shore. I can't believe we're doing this. We actually wanted to review Byron Bays,

the awful Netflix reality show about Byron Bay in Australia. So we thought, oh, let's do the category of trashy reality shows. Everyone will probably choose Byron Bay in Australia. So we thought, oh, let's do the category of trashy reality shows. Everyone will probably choose Byron Bay. It came last in the vote and everyone chose OG Geordie Shore. Yeah, and not to be confused with Geordie Shore OGs, which is a new show. It's the 28th season. Yeah, so actually the first season of Geordie Shore,

Ryan has watched the first episode. If you've ever listened to this podcast before, you know that I actually love trashy reality TV. I watch Jersey Shore, Geordie Shore, everything. Like there is no limits to what I will watch and so this is your first time and I can't wait to hear what you think about it. There are no depths to how low Tony's standards will go when it comes to reality TV.

And I'm proud of that, you know. I'm not going to back down about the fact that I like shit TV. I just like it. It's good. I need a brain break sometimes. Mate, when you're as smart as me, you're as switched on as me, you need a little break sometimes from, you know, high concept things. God, the standing up's working.

It must be hard being that smart. I know what you mean. Sometimes you just need to balance it out a bit. Mate, when I go to sleep, I don't get any rest because my brain's still busy. Well, that's not called being smart. That's called anxiety. Dream chat.

I'm not a doctor. I'm not a doctor. All right. First, though, dumbest things you've ever heard. People in the Tony and Ryan Facebook community are very polite, very nice people. So when they hear dumb things, they're polite and don't often say what they would love to say.

But this is where Tony Lodge comes in and just says the words you really needed to be said out loud. I can be the little devil on your shoulder and say the horrible shit, but not to anybody because I'm too nice to do that. Hey, but she'll troll a blank face on the internet. Don't get her wrong. I would never, ever do that.

Well, that's what we're about to do right now. Here we go. Oh, okay. Yeah, I get what you mean. I thought you meant leave a mean comment for someone. I was like, I would never fucking do that. You would never. Jan Henry.

Hi, Jan Henry. Worked at Milford Sound in New Zealand. Do you know Milford Sound? I have not been there, but yes, I know what it is, yeah. So it's where the big cliffs meet the ocean and it's beautiful. And if you ever see those classic, like, is it the speedboats that are like cruising around the corners? The jetboats or

whatever, yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's that area. So she was working in travel and tourism there. Oh, okay, January. And there's often a little bit of like whale watching, dolphins, like beautiful part of the world. So one time a tourist said, oh, yep, we're going to do the boat ride in the morning. Then on the Thursday we're going to do that walk up to the thing.

But what time do you let the dolphins out into the water so we can go and check them out? And, of course, Jan, because she's so polite and friendly, said, oh, thank you for your question, ma'am. They're actually in the ocean all of the time. We don't, like, bring them in at night for a hot chocolate and tuck them into the little beds. Imagine that.

But Jan's polite. She said they're there all the time. But I'm sure what she would love to say when the person said, what time do you let the dolphins out? Who let the dolphins out? Who? Who? Who?

Who? Or he? He? Who let the dolphins out? Who? Who? Who? Or he?

He? Surely you would make up a lie like, oh, well, actually the dolphins are robotic. Don't tell the kids. But we turn them off and they go under the water or something. Oh, when do you blow your dolphin whistle? When do they come back into the shore? Oh, my gosh. We actually can't control the wild animals that you're enjoying,

like, in our area that's not up to us. Hey, mate, it's not a zoo. This is actually the real world. Yeah. Oh, my. Tony, what time do the dolphins come out? Whenever they fucking want. All right, correct answer.

Pick the box. All right, Javier Gonzalez Chincuala. Sexiest name yet. Sexiest I've ever heard, except for Ryan Jonathan Dunn, of course. Thank you, I was about to correct you. Another travel one. I'm the owner of a luxury travel agency. Oh, you would get some fucking flogs hitting you up for free shit.

Imagine the influencers messaging and being like, oh, I've got 3,000 followers. Would you like to be featured on my page? Do you remember? You'd get a lot of that. The girl that went to, you know how like Chernobyl opened up to tourists or whatever and when the TV show came out it became like a thing? Have you watched that show? It is fucking phenomenal. Is it? I haven't. Oh, you know how like Chernobyl opened up to tourists or whatever? I mean, the TV show came out. It became like a thing. Have you watched that show?

It is fucking phenomenal. Is it? I haven't. Oh, you have to watch it. It's incredible. It's very good. So there's this picture of a girl like at the nuclear plant or whatever the remains are or like as close as you can get.

And she's like in like a bright red thong bikini, like doing like a pose. And she's like, oh, just at Chernobyl, like the history is blah, blah, blah. And everyone's like, I don't think that's what Chernobyl is. Chernobyl, bitch. What the fuck? Chernobyl. Fucking hell.

All right, Javier Gonzalez Chincuala. Yeah, please use his full name at all times. Often does tours to see the Northern Lights. And because he does luxury tours, it's like very grand, you know, travelling in a beautiful coach and the European kind of those trains. I do like the see-through glamping tent. So you're laying in your tent. That is on the list.

Really, yeah. Oh, 100%. Well, give Javier Gonzalez Chincua a look. Hey, I've got 3,000 followers. Obviously pretty expensive because, like you said, the luxe glamping and the whatever. Have you ever, sorry, have you ever seen the Northern Lights? No.

Is it something you'd be into? I don't think so. Really? Yeah. But it's like a fucking natural phenomenon. Oh, I agree that it's beautiful, but if you go, show me a photo. Okay, babe, no worries. Because of the expensive price, someone said to Javier Gonzalez-Chincoala,

considering how much I'm paying, can you guarantee the northern lights will be on that night? Now, what Javier said is obviously cloudy nights, weather conditions, you know, most nights, sure, but can I as just one person who doesn't control the weather, can I guarantee it? Unfortunately, no. But we'll do our best to accommodate you and maybe find another date

if it doesn't work out. Very polite, you know. But I'm sure what Javier Gonzalez-Chcuala would have really loved to say is... Well, the great thing about that, Karen, is we've actually had them on charge. The solar power panels have been out in the sun, so we should be ready to go and you'll be fine. And at the last second, if they need to just put a projector over the top of their glamping tent, that shows, you know,

the northern lights. It's just them with like a green streamer like flicking it around. I mean, there's always a backup. There's always a plan B. You've got a battery, right? Yeah, charge it up. Can you guarantee? Can I say I kind of understand where they're coming from?

I would never, but you would be really disappointed. Imagine if that was, you know, it was something you wanted to see your whole life. You saved up all this, like you weren't, you know, a rich person, but you saved up all this money and you put it all into, like you'd be fucking gutted if you didn't see it. I also think the same with sometimes when you go whale watching, you may not see a whale.

Exactly, yeah. Katie Artemis. Katie Artemis. Katie Artemis. Cartemis, yes. Katie Artemis works in, like, construction. Okay. Like roadworks and stuff or whatever. And so she has set up the sign that says road closed

because they're doing stuff for work. They're building stuff. Good on you, Katie. Yep. Let people know that the fucking road's closed. Yep. And you know the road closed signs. They're huge, massive signs.

And they've got like the red striped thing on it. Yeah. Very clear lettering road closed. Every single day someone drives up and just goes, oh, excuse me, is the road closed? And she just goes, oh, hello, sir. Yes, it is. But I'm sure what she really wanted to say was

no we just thought we'd leave the sign up because then it's easy to get parking around here and then you let them through and hope that they drive into a pothole or something where can i park my car in the bottom of this in the bottom of this thing that we've dug. In this underground car park. We haven't fitted out with car parks yet. It's just a big hole in the ground. Is the road shut? Fuck off. Fuck right off.

Fuck. And I do not, I just don't know how to exacerbate that enough. Off. Fuck off. Who in their right mind is seeing that sign and going like, oh, is it still closed? No. How about you just assume it fucking is?

Don't ask me a question. Just assume it is. If it says road closed, do you know what the fucking powers of deduction in my fucking mind tell me? The fucking road's probably closed, eh? If I was a betting man. Yeah. I'd probably put the house on it.

How much money would you like to bet on closed? Oh, considering the road says fucking... Oh, fuck. Do you reckon it's open or closed? Fuck, it says closed. It must be open. They must have gotten it wrong. All right, last one.

Yaz Glendhill. Hi, Yaz. I'm a receptionist and often people with tricky last names will spell their names like phonetically. Oh, yep. Yep, it's T for Tony, F for Felicia, L for Lodge, so on and so forth. Really common when you're booking stuff in and whatever. This lady's last name is LaRock.

Oh, yep. She goes, yep. Can you smell what the Laong is cooking. Anyway. This lady says her last name is? Larong. Oh, I've got a bit of a hangover. Do you mind if I have a La Rocca?

The band kiss. Want a La Rocca? Who the fuck cares what Jazz has to say? No, I do. This is important. This is important work. This lady comes in. Her last name is LaRock.

She goes, yep, that's L for lady, A for apple, R for Roger, O for orange and Q for cucumber. Cucumber. Did she mean to say C? The name is spelt L-A-R-O-Q. I thought maybe she meant to say C and it was like a slip of the tongue. Now, Yaz is polite and she's very professional, so she just went, yep, L-A-R-O-Q, no problems at all. But when she heard L for lady, A for apple, R for Roger,

O for orange, Q for cucumber, I'm sure what she really wanted to say was... Here is your room key, Mrs LaRock Cucumber. It is so lovely to have you staying with us for the weekend. Room service will be up in the morning. They'll just come and put LaRock on your door. What time's checkout? 11, LaRock.

After I leave the hotel, I'm catching the boat. Where do I go? Ladakh. I'm planning on having sex with a really sporty guy Yeah I'm gonna suck his le cock Or the le cock of le jock I wanna That doesn't work I want a cocktail That doesn't work. I want a cocktail, but one with no alcohol in it.

Oh, la mock-tail. Oh, I've eaten too much. I need to take a walk around the block. Oh, what's your favourite app? Oh, la tick-la-tock. Yeah! app. Oh, LaTickLaTalk. I am in physical pain. You shouldn't be standing up.

Oh, if you're in LaPain, I can take you to LaDocTalk. This is Cara from Virginia, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A big shout out to our champion tarpers. Bethany Pye. Are you all right, mate? Sorry, I'm fucking still trying to recover. I reckon. Recover.

Nice. We just had that little interlude, and then I said, hey, Tony, you're right to go, and then you come over, put your mouth on the mic, and then decide to cough. Sorry. It's not COVID. It's just clearing my throat after I had some water from my Frank Green water bottle.

Maybe I'll just have a drink from my water bottle. Okay, mate. Yeah, you take your time. I ain't got no place to be. Okay. Well, in the meantime, I'll say a big thank you to a few of our champion tapas, Bethany Pye, Evan M, Laurie Broom and Jack Cameron.

Thank you so much for your contribution, buying our exclusive content. Very, very cool. You love to say it. I was trying to put The Rock in there and I couldn't. I've got The Rock on the mind. Yeah. The Rock on me.

Sorry. I'll have to list off. I was going to say, it's time to list off. Yeah. Okay. Anyway, all right. So we watched Geordie Shore this week. Season one.

Yes. So we decided we'd go back to our roots, watch the very beginning of Geordie Shore. I, like I said, have watched this billions of times. This is Ryan's very first time, so he's going to give his... Synopsis? Yeah. It's a real moment in time, isn't it?

It is. It's a real moment in time, isn't it? It is. It's a great snapshot. But the thing is, is that over all the 57 seasons that there are, it's the same. Is it, though? Yeah. For me, it was the first thing before they even said a word. Yeah.

Was the tans and the, I don't even know how to describe the hairstyle, but very straightened down and very specific. Is there a name for that? But you know what I'm, is there a better way to describe it? Just, yeah, we were into hair straightening then. In a big way. Everyone had very straight hair. It like had to be dead straight, where now it's kind of like most people

wear it a bit more natural. Yeah, it's a bit of a kick at the bottom or something. Yeah, and just the, I don't know if it's just the few specific people, but jet black. Yeah. Or just the, I don't know if it's just the few specific people, but Jet Black. Yeah. Or Peroxide Blonde or Bright Red. I think Holly has bright red hair. So I guess my question is, and because I've seen Gaz and Charlotte,

they're the two most, is that fair? Yeah. They've been interviewed on like Australian radio shows and TV shows. So that's sort of my only exposure to them. Yeah, because they were like a couple and it was like a very like, will they, won't they, Gaz and Charlotte kind of, will they end up together, will they not? They go out for a long time and then they're just sleeping together

and he will sleep with somebody else and then she gets upset and that's a whole episode and, yeah. From episode one, I already know that he's going to be a fuckhead the whole time and she's going to be like, oh, we're in love, and that's going to ruin her life. Have I been proven to be correct there? He actually ends up being quite a nice guy, but he does do some real le cock things through the show.

So when I see them interviewed in Australia, and Charlotte's been on a few reality shows out here and stuff, it seems that we like her, we care about her. She's super likeable, yeah. But the thing is, having just watched one episode, and I don't want to sound like an old grumpy white guy. Fuck, then maybe turn your microphone off, mate, because I think that's what's about to happen.

Are we laughing with them or are we laughing at them? I feel like we're laughing with them. Are we? Yeah, because it's reality TV. They know they're being filmed. They knew what they were in for signing up for the show. They're fucking getting paid. Like, they're being compensated.

Yeah, but when I say laughing, I feel like, okay, let me just play this for a second. My party trick is being able to put a glass between my boobs and then drink from it. She's proud of that. Holly, she can do whatever she wants with those. She's fit, she's flirty, she's got double Fs. 21, Geordie Shore, I'm going to be a coffee slut

and I'm going to put out. She's got the Geordie tan and the lashes like first. You'd have to be mad to go there. I can't believe, and they go, I know I'm being old. Yeah. The way they speak about each other when they're doing the piece to camera bits, I just kept thinking, you know the other people in the show are going to watch this.

I'm going to end up seeing it, yes. And so when Sophie and Holla, I think Sophie in particular, was maybe a bigger girl than some of the others. For the standard of the show, yeah. For the standard of the show. And the way the guys are like, oh, she's fine, but I would never, that's fucking gross, gross. And they're like looking at the camera being like shaking their head

and I was like, who are these fucking assholes? Yeah, that is fucked. And let me just, this is the first time Gaz has ever seen on TV, all right? I literally know pulling birds inside out. From the minute I get the number to the minute I shag them, I know that situation inside out. Ready to rock. Ready to pull.

Ready to ruin someone. I'm probably the first person you'd want away from your girlfriend. I've definitely got a reputation as a player. Definitely. There's no shadow of a doubt about that. I've definitely got a reputation as a player. It's as if, like, if you replace the word player with a good person and he's trying to prove, I am a good person, I promise,

it's not even in doubt. Does he know that a player is not something to aspire to? Yeah, and to be proud of. It's actually an insult? Does he know that or am I reading the word player wrong? Because this whole time I'm seeing guys brag about things I'm like, you're not supposed to be proud of this. You're supposed to be ashamed

of these things and not tell anyone. And you're like boasting about it. I think have you misread the here? Like what are you trying to prove here? The flip of the coin there though is like, are you trying to tell us or tell you? I'm just so good at pulling birds though.

I love fucking cheeky babes. But are you... Who are you talking to? Are you proving it to you? Are you proving it to us? I'm just watching 15 News. I don't care. Are you trying to convince yourself or something?

Yes. So that's where I'm like are we putting them on a pedestal? Because for me I was like, hey, you don't even got to prove yourself to me, bro. Just be yourself. Come over here. I'll give you, you want to have a couple of beers? Let's have a couple. Like, I felt like they were trying to prove how cool they were to me.

And I'm like, you're on Geordie Shore. You don't need to prove shit to me. And I'm like looking into it and whatever. But I just felt so gross and ick about the whole thing. Okay, I have a question. Yeah. Are you supposed to take it with a grain of salt as it is reality TV? Because when we watch things like Byron Bays,

and I'm using that as a good example because that's new, whereas you kind of look at things that came out, you know, the beginning of Geordie Shore was years and years and years ago, like over 10 years ago. Yeah. So you go, oh, you know, that's a bit like, you probably wouldn't get on TV and say, oh, she's okay, but I'd never go there because, oh, she's, you know,

half a kilo over my limit or whatever. Obviously people don't say that anymore and if they do, they get cancelled. Yeah. But then you look at things like Byron Bays that are brand new. They have that same cocky, confident vibe. Is it just because they're on reality TV and, you know,

we can't always blame the villain edit. Right. But are we just, are they going in there and they are forced to be cocky, they're fed booze to like, you know. Loosen them up. Seem fun or whatever. Liquid confidence, yeah. So is it kind of like do you just take it at face value and appreciate the like entertainment of it and ignore that side of it?

Well, I think that's when I was like are we laughing with them or at them? Yeah. I was a bit like what is the point of me watching? I'm like am I supposed to be laughing at how like much of idiots they are? But I'm like that feels like I'm punching down. You know, I'm making fun of these idiots. I don't want to make fun of idiots. You're calling them idiots.

No, you don't mind. No, but, like, if someone's, like I said, a bit over the top and trying to prove something, I'm like, hey, man, it's fine. I mean, they're doing all right out of it. But to be a laughingstock, I just don't understand why am I watching? What's in it for me, the viewer, when I've got the choice of literally anything, any movie, TV show, why would, like, what's the, like, why do you like it?

It's just that, like, brain break of, like, it being something I don't have to think about and it's just silly and it's drama and it's, like, if it was the exact same show but it was scripted yeah you wouldn't turn it on because you'd be like i don't want to watch that i think that'd be funnier because then you could write like okay let's write the most dumbest playboy dickhead character and then go with it but that's what they do they produce them into this like i don't know i just i just didn't get it i didn't understand i. Like I get where you're coming from.

Why do you love it? I like it because it's just shit. I like the drama because it's just stupid. I don't have to think about it. I only watched the first episode. Yeah, so there's drama because like the girls will bloody pull a dude when it's supposed to be girls' night or they sleep with each other in the house and they're not supposed to.

And like Geordie Shore, one of the big things that they do, they get like wasted and they'll go and like get kebabs and fish and chips and stuff. Yep. And then they'll come back and they'll like have a food fight. So it's like really gross and they're like fucking in the spa and they've got like a shag pad out the back and stuff. Like it's just chaotic.

Right. And like. This doesn't sound relaxing to me. It sounds stressful. I'm's just i'm stressed i'm stressed hearing about it but you just don't need to know anything you don't there's no storyline to follow you don't even need to really know their names because it flashes up on the bottom of the screen every time they talk like it's just it's so easy to watch and i think that like whilst i respect your opinion yeah i think it's just like are you missing the point of what it's supposed

to be i'm not even missing it i point of what it's supposed to be? I'm not even missing it. I'm looking for it. I want to find a point. Give me a point and I'll take it. You also just don't really like trash TV. It's not really your thing. Question.

Question. If someone said I want to start a reality show and Tony to be in that, would you be in it? I don't think so. How come? I think it's because we see how, like, you don't get to pick how you're portrayed. Yeah.

Like, it would depend on the context and what the show was, but, like, would I go on The Bachelor or Bachelorette? Fuck no. Fuck no. Absolutely not. Because they pit all the girls against each other. Yeah. Or then if it's like a bachelorette season where it's like the female

and then there's all the boys, then everyone's like, oh, she's a slut, she kissed all the boys. That's literally what the fucking show is. Yeah, I never understood that either. He's dating five guys at a time. Yeah, the show is like. It's the fucking premise. Yeah.

Like you're paying by watching this show and being like watching the ads, you're paying for this to be on the TV and you're then like, oh, I don't like it. I think what does my head in about the Geordie ones, not does my head in, just like that I can't click, is like when there's a reality show like Survivor, The Amazing Race or something, it's a bit like it's a competition, here is the goal, there's drama on the way to the goal.

There's competing. But there's like a ribbon of purpose. I think that's what I was missing. At least in The Bachelor, and I mean in inverted commas, the purpose is to find love. And in The Block, the purpose is to build a beautiful house. And in The Apprentice, the purpose is to make the most money or whatever. And then I watch Geordie Shore and I'm like, to build a beautiful house. And in The Apprentice, the purpose is to... Make the most money or whatever, yeah.

And then I watch Geordie Shore and I'm like... But it's the same with, like, Big Brother, Jersey Shore, Geordie Shore, like, all those things. It's just, like, there isn't really, like, no one, at least with Big Brother, I guess someone wins and there's eliminations and stuff. But Geordie Shore, it's literally just, like, zoo watching. Because it's, like, you're just...

They're, like, they they're fed food they're given alcohol and they fucking party and that's their job for however long because as much as i've been on my high horse here being like who are these idiots yeah i'm sure that anyone who found photos of them going to a bar or a club yeah when did it start 2011 10 15 years ago longer yeah long time yeah i've seen some photos of me in clubs from 2007 and it is a wild ride. I definitely had the big swept side fringe and did like dark eyeliner and stuff and like dead straight hair.

Yeah. Absolutely did that. Definitely like started listening to Nirvana in year eight and decided that I was never going to wear anything but Converse's and skinny jeans. Oh, you were a punk rocker for a bit? A bit grunge, yeah. That was my vibe.

I was like super into Nirvana and I only listened to scary music. Did you listen to Korn? That was a bit of a vibe when I was like 10 years old. Yeah, I think Korn was a bit. Oh, yeah, I forget that I'm older than you. Yeah, I think that was a bit before my time. But, yeah.

Don't age shame my love of Korn. Sorry, sorry. But, yeah, there was definitely some tragic fucking nightclubbing photos and stuff like that. Like, don't fucking get it twisted. It definitely wasn't always this put together. Now, before old man grumpy Grandpa John gets off his high horse, Newcastle, where Geordie Shaw is based,

is like two or three hours north of London. Sure. It's further north. Yeah. London is cold and wet and gross and not like a summery vibe of a time. Yeah. I can only assume that going further north to, what did I say, Newcastle, not Liverpool.

Liverpool. It must be freezing cold. Yeah, it would be cold. How are these guys going out in the tightest, smallest T-shirts I've ever seen and not getting cold nips? How are these girls wearing these skirts? Like tiny dresses, yeah. And they look hot as, but they must be fucking freezing.

I don't know how they do that. If I watched this show 10 years ago, I might have loved it. But now I watch it and I'm like, put a jacket on, love. How are you cold? You'll catch a chill. You can wake up with a sniffles tomorrow. That's not his name. That's the actual sniffles, by the way.

I think you feel that way when you watch the first season because they all drive in. They're in a, like, old Hyundai Getz. But then in the second season when they all rock up in fucking Range Rovers, you don't feel so fucking sorry for them. You don't feel the cold when you're rich. Yeah, I've heard that. I have heard that.

You would have heard that. Elon Musk has never been cold in his life. Two stars. Oh, I'm upset about that because I love shit TV, but I respect it. I'm not going to push it on you, but it is good, isn't it? It is good, isn't it? It serves a purpose. You have to appreciate that.

I want to know that purpose. If someone can tell me the purpose. The purpose for me is that I get to sit there and not have to think about it and I can do my wordle on my phone. Get smarter and dumber at the same time. Double jeopardy. Alright Tony, what do you love to see?

My final you love to see it for this week is from Tamara Boulkes from Budapest. She posted in our Facebook group I literally died and she's posting this, I'm assuming not literally, but maybe it's a language barrier. Yep. Literally died in the gym while listening to the podcast.

Four people came up to me asking if I was okay while I was gasping for air and laughing my ass off. And she attached a photo of her, like, lying down in the gym. I saw that. And she's, like, trying to exercise, but she was laughing in the podcast. I fucking love to see that. I do love to see that. Good on her. I really

really love that. Imagine just knowing that you had something great to listen to in the morning that was going to give your day a good start. I can't believe that we are that for people. You are that for me, Tony Lodge. You're that for me. As you know, I was unwell and I thought, oh, I get to hang out with comedy queen Tony Lodge today.

That'll bring me back. That's actually really nice. I'm glad that you feel that way. I do feel that way. I feel many things towards you and that's one of them. This won't help my cause with you, though. You know what I love to see? Tell me.

This honest headline from Vice that's made me, Ryan, feel a little bit more reassured with myself. Can you read this headline from Vice that's made me, Ryan, feel a little bit more reassured with myself. Yeah. Can you read this headline from Vice News? All right, it is a screenshot over... Just read the headline. Good news, tiny dicks might come back into fashion. Well, thank God for that.

Is there a fashion of penis size? Is there, like, in vogue size? If Tiny Dicks comes back into fashion, then call me Calvin Klein. That is the worst reference I've ever heard. You have sounded so old in this episode. Oh, the girls are getting cold. I'm Calvin Klein.

Call Mark Wahlberg because I've got my pants down and I'm Calvin Klein. I guess, though, like... I'll be back to my mid-30s next Monday. Yeah, that'd be great. I guess, like, bigger boobs and smaller boobs kind of go in fashion, I guess. Do they? But that's, like, how you... Like, you can see that.

It's not the size of the boob, it's how you wear it. It's how you wear it, yeah. But I don't see your penis ever. Except for... But I've never seen it because it's behind me. You've never seen my lecoque. Well, thank you so much for listening for the whole week. You'll love to see that, I feel.

You'll love to see that. We'll be back on Monday. Ryan will be returning to his normal age. Yeah, sorry about this. Which is great. And if you liked Geordie Shore, please let us know in today's episode thread. Am I going to get crucified in the episode thread today?

You're one or the other. You're not like, oh, I don't mind it. You either love it or you hate it. And I think that's fine. Let us know in the episode thread what you liked. Make sure you check us out on Instagram and TikTok and all of that. Give us a follow. Have a look at all of our videos.

Share them. Send them to your mum. I won't, obviously, do that. Why not? Bad reception. She never replies to my phone. Y'alls, meow. Bye, love you.