Toni and Ryan - Don't Do This At Your Friend's House

Episode Date: October 31, 2024

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] WELCOME TO HELL!!! No just joking hehehehe but there is some STRANGE SHIT!! Love u xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge, who is a very sane and well put together human being. Thank you. We are calling a Fernanda who is in Brazil. Can you hear the drums? Fernanda!

Fernanda? Lenora? Hello? Fernanda! Oh my god, Fernanda, that has made us feel so loved. How are you today? What are you up to? Oh my god, I was just like waiting for the call. I was so excited.

Oh, well, we were excited to speak to you as well because you and my wife, Fernanda, actually have something in common. What is your favorite thing to do? Oh, do you? Yes. What's your favorite thing to do? Oh, do you? Yes. What's your favourite thing to do? Oh my God. It's, I love messing around on Excel.

I love, love, love, love, love it. Yeah. That is so dorky. I absolutely love it. And yeah, Ryan's wife Bridget also loves that. Follows so many Instagram accounts. They're like, oh, there's this new tip for a V lookup. And she goes, oh, she goes, okay.

Yeah. I'll check that out later. But Bridget's just like a passive fan was Fernandez actually civil engineers. So, you know, Oh, hang on. So Fernandez got something in common with both of your wife's, my work wife, two engineers and my home wife's two Excel fans. Fernanda, you're the best of my both worlds. I'm just Hannah Montana-ing over here.

Oh my God. I absolutely love you, Fernanda. Can we please be best friends? Fernanda, I do know her. Yeah, you are getting into every single niche that we have. I absolutely love it. You don't drive a Jimny, do you, Fernanda, by any chance? Yeah, like, let me be like one of those people on the internet and say,

come to Brazil and we will be best friends. There you go. I'll come. There you go. Don't. Don't. No empty office here, Fernanda. Don't say things you can't take back, Fernanda.

Fernanda, will you approve today's podcast? I would be honored to. Yay! The honor is all ours. Hi, this is Fernanda from Brazil Brazil and I approve this podcast. Welcome, welcome, welcome. Hello and welcome to a video show. I've got a- Oh my God.

Should I twine that musical guest? Oh, is she? I'm just not impressed with me much. I just love that we have musical guests. So you get the moves. What have you never done? Don't get me wrong.

Yeah, Think you. You know that bit where she goes, so what? Are you Brad Pitt? I'm going to, that should be, so what? Are you Ryan John? That doesn't impress me. That doesn't impress her. No, but it's like, what, you're the hottest boy in the world. Cause like Brad Pitt, I think she just replaced it the other day with Ryan Reynolds. Cause like they're both Canadian. So I feel like there's a bit of like Alliance there. Yeah. Which I love them.

Love for them. Love for them. I love that we have musical guests on the show. Just on Friday. What I don't love is that because that was the perfect rendition is that we'll probably get triggered for copyright because the AI will go. Cause I sound so similar. That's Shania Twain.

No, no, no. Cause if similar. That's Shania Twain. No, no, no. Cause if it thinks that Shania Twain, they'll be like, she's got the rights. Who am I going to ask for the rights for myself? Well, it's on the turning Ryan Page though. But she is a musical guest on our podcast. Is that going to get cut out? Do you think? All right, if you saw that, enjoy it before, while it lasts.

Get in hot. Oh, speaking of while it lasts, get in hot. Oh, speaking of my body on the line with that, that's a real shame. God, you try and be a vulnerable artist. That's what happens. I'm not sure he does not care about art. And you've always said that. Why doesn't Melbourne care about country music from Canada? Come on. Come the fuck on.

Sorry. Our stance toward country music. Don't impress Tony much. Oh, we just got triggered again. Um, isn't that that classic, like one way to get the girls on a dance floor at a wedding and it's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, like, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down. Let's go girls. And they're off. 100%. Maybe I should have that like ready to go on my phone.

So you go to the bar and you're like, there's a huge line to get your drink. That is such a good idea. And they're like, oh fuck, I'm gonna be outrageous. Yeah. Bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow, bow. And they're, oh. And they would too.

Just don't know, fashion thanks champion. Yeah. Oh, fuck, thanks champion. Yeah. Oh, five Gugas, thanks. I'm going to show you a photo. Show me. Speaking of redacted and copyright and YouTube. Yeah. I'm going to show you a photo and after I show you, you're going to decide whether everyone

else gets to see it as well. Okay. Yeah. That's fair. It's only fair. It's only fair. First of all, what is the weirdest thing a guest has done in your house? Now, for those that listen to the show every day, we had tried to do this on Wednesday, but if my memory serves me correctly, I think we got interrupted by Tony who was bragging about railing a guy in a hot tub. I think that's what happened.

That's definitely not what happened. I don't even think that was the same bit. Wasn't when we're talking about the part was like when someone maybe had sex on my couch was when we said. Yeah, but then you were in that communal Airbnb, then you wouldn't stop telling us about it. I think that you're going to want to redact that yourself before people come for you in the comments.

Don't say come for me. Cause that's not what happened. And you know it. So anyway, let's try again. I don't take that on. I don't negotiate with emotional terrorists. I've said the T word. If anyone sees this episode, it's a miracle.

Honestly. I need to be reined in. I'm like a fucking reindeer. this episode, it's a miracle. I need to be reined in. I like a fucking reindeer. Not the same reindeer. That's not how it works. Not the same reindeer. Why are they called reindeer? It's all they're deers, but they're always just raining shit in.

Like that's why they're called reindeer. It's an educational show today. We did hear about Mike the other day, who his brother brought a girl home and she, with a nervous habit, took all the labels off the canned food and they've been playing dessert roulette for the last nine months. So it's just a surprise what they're eating all the time, which I actually think is quite fun. That's pretty fun.

Christine. Hi, Christine. And if, what's the weirdest thing a guest has done in your house? Let us know in the comments of the episode thread today. Christine, I was making dinner for a bunch of friends and to be fair, dinner was taking a little bit longer than expected. Yeah. But I mean, it always does.

Like dinner always takes longer than anything. One of my mates just orders menu log for himself. Oh, the gall, the audacity. I assume his name's Trent. Fuck Trent. His name's definitely fucking Trent. So imagine I'm at your place. You're slaving away over a hot stove.

Oh, that's just me. I ordered a bar me while I wait. I would be really hurt by that. There's so many layers for me, obviously, but then like, if you're going to do that, like you're off, like you can't be ordering shit solo at some, that's fucking. And also like if you were the one cooking and even if somebody went, oh, should we order something?

Just like in the meantime, you'd be like, fuck it. I'm like, yeah, I'm slaving away over a hot stove. Trent. Complaining your head. Like don't say anything. Yeah. Or like, or just say like, oh, I'm so sorry. I didn't eat lunch today. And I'm actually starving. Do you mind if I made myself a piece of toast? Or, you know, like you kind of would come up with a way to talk about it. That is so fucked up. And then imagine he eats his barn me. then you pull out this slow roasted lamb shoulder. Yes. And he goes, I'm not really that hungry anymore.

Yeah. I just had that whole barn mee. And you go, well, like, what did you think was going to happen? Right? That, nah, that's so fucked. Oh, that's really upset me personally. I think, cause I know that I would just be so pissed off about me. Yeah. Now, I don't know if this is main character energy or that this person is like, watch too many movies and just like assume that's a thing normal people does.

Do. Maria. Maria. I don't actually know that song. I'm going to get flagged again. A coworker was picking me up for a work thing and he arrived earlier than expected. He came and knocked on the door and I opened it and I'm like, Oh, hey, man. And he walks straight past me, walks in, walks into the kitchen, opens the fridge and goes, Ooh, fancy water, grabs himself the perrier cracks it open and then

proceeded to peruse my bookshelves and criticize my books. Literally all happened within the first three minutes. We're not even really friends or friendly. We just work together on this one project. You know what? He's called Trent as well. Definitely. Maybe it's the actual same Trent.

It's the same asshole. Yeah. A terrible house guest. Yeah. So. You know, like the Kramer, like every show has got like the wacky friend that just rocks up, gets something. And like does something that's like maybe socially not what you should,

like not the norm or whatever. Just very familiar. I think as well, if you were picking someone up to go somewhere, you would just text. I'm out the front. Or you would knock and be like, just letting you know I'm here, but I'm going to wait out the front. Cause you're like, Oh, I'm just going to call my sister. Or like you would just, you'd be polite, but I don't think you're, that is so strange. Right.

Real strange. And also if he was early, right? No matter who you were picking up, if you're early, the person's probably not ready yet. So you can't go into their house. Barge in while she's putting her pants on. Yeah. Or like, you know, she goes, I'm just like finishing ironing my top or like, you know, or I'm just having something to eat before we go.

Or something like that. That is so fucking weird. Weird. Here's one. Aren't you a Sam Hook? Yeah. My mother made herself a sandwich and one of our relatives turns up, knocks on the door. So she goes to the door, lets them in. The relative walks in, sits down and just like finishes her sandwich. What? She's like, oh, great.

I'd love half a sandwich. It's got like a bite mark out of it. She's like, oh, is that how you're presenting it now? Yeah. Is that how we're plating up here? Is that fancy? What? I also just don't think I would ever go to someone's house and be like, I'm really hungry. Like, yeah, so I have to physically force Tony to eat or drink at my house.

No, like if someone said, are you hungry? I'd probably be like, Oh yeah. Like what, what do we got? Or whatever. Or like, yeah, should we? No, I would never ask because I'd be like. But is that a sign of like, you haven't got to that stage of the friendship yet? Cause I feel like that's a tier of friend where you can just, if you're at their house, wander into the kitchen and grab something.

Cause you're just like. I'd probably do that at my sister's house. Like I've gone there before and been like, do you have stuff to make a sandwich? And she's made me like a toasted cheese sandwich. You know, things like that, because I'm like, oh, that's like normal ingredients. I'm not going into a before and been like, do you have stuff to make a sandwich? And she's made me like a toasted cheese sandwich. Yeah. You know, things like that, because I'm like, Oh, that's like normal ingredients. I'm not going into a house and being like, Oh, you've got some lamb here. You haven't cooked. You mightn't doing that up, you know, cause she's probably got a plan for that.

But like a sandwich is, you know, I'd say pretty fair game. I remember as a kid, I had like a birthday sleepover one year. So it was probably like, we had like me and maybe like five girlfriends over or something. We were all going to sleep in the lounge room, like watch TV. And like the next, the morning after, one of the girls was like getting ready to like leave my house. And she dropped and smashed a bottle of foundation, like of makeup. And like, didn't, so there was like this light blue bath mat. Yeah.

She doesn't clean up the makeup or the glass, but turns the mat over. Nah, that's, yeah, that's Billy Madison energy. Just put some newspaper on it. Yeah, but literally, so turns it over and then like, well, my mom goes in there and she's like, Oh my God, there's glass on the floor. Like, is everybody okay? What happens? And I was like, Oh, no one said anything. Um, and then mom like lifts up the mat and all of the glass and all of the makeup is like under the, like, but it's all just still there.

Glasses, glasses. Like that's the just still there. Glasses, glasses. Like that's the fuck. Like that's a, yeah. You can, like if you stood on glass, it would cut through it totally with the pressure of your body totally psycho. Oh, I, she, I'm not friends there anymore. She just said, yeah. Oh, and you can guess why.

Yeah. Um, but I think we also had dogs. So I think my mom was like, mate, like, what the fuck? I think I got in trouble because like someone had done that. And I was like, oh, weird. That's like fucking shit behavior. Yeah. It was she's like, you know, mine's like, oh, I'm so embarrassed.

I don't want to tell anyone. Yeah, I guess so. But it's past that someone could panic. But you've made it so much worse. And it was one of those things where mum and I just like are in standing and like everyone had left and we're standing in the bathroom. I'm like, I'm sorry. Yeah.

Like, I don't really know what to. Was her name Trent? No, but I'm going to tell you her name and you're going to know. OK, wow. Emily. The Trent of the 15 year old girls. Emily. Yeah. Yeah. 15 year old. I reckon, yeah, we would have been.

Oh, I think like seven or eight. Yeah. Oh, no. So she's old enough to know better. She like did her makeup before she left. So that's what she was doing. I thought it was like your mum's makeup. No, no, no, no. She, yeah. What a bitch. So weird.

Emily. Fuck. Where's she now? I don't know. I actually like, I literally, I don't even know her last name. Um, what do you call- She was one of my best friends. What would you call someone like, you know how Aquaman is like, he's the king of the sea or whatever. So that's why he's Aquaman. And are you calling her the king of the seaward?

No, that's funny. That is funny. That is funny. What am I called? Because as you know, I permanently have glass in my foot. Yeah, you do. Because our workplace wouldn't get surgery to take it out. Yeah.

Not this workplace. No, another place. So am I like, I'm expecting my superpowers to kick in any day now. Yeah. So where I used to work, I stood on glass and I said, I need a day off because I had to surgically remove it and the boss went, no. Yeah. So it's still in there and it's just like floating around.

Yeah. But when do the- So maybe are you like, instead of like maybe a play on the word classy is like glassy. Like I'm a glassy individual, you know, I'm a glassy guy. Isn't the glassy the guy that collects glasses from the pub? But like instead of being classy, it's like your superpower is you can work for minimum wage at a dingy hotel in

South meringue. Yeah. Let's go girls. And people with glass in their foot. Hotel in South Moran. Yeah. Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-ba- And as you shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon, these guys are all going to get one of our 20 and Ryan 2025 calendars. Last day. Last day. Nurse on the road. Good on you, nurse on the road. Devin Kill. Good on you, Devin. Katie Kershaw, Gregory, Craig Callison, the second, and a big happy birthday to Andrea Snoofer from Jeff for tomorrow. Jeff has bought Andrea a champion Tafa membership. Sorry. When you said from Jeff, I'm like, that's a strange name of the town.

That's no, no, no, totally. Happy birthday to Annie from Jeff. I'm like, oh, who's Jeff? And Ryan from Melbourne would like to say happy birthday to you as well. No, so it's Andrea's birthday from Jeff. Yeah. Uh, and, uh, it was, it's a surprise birthday present. So I think this is how Andrea is going to find out that this is the gift. Yeah.

So happy birthday from us. Andrea and your present is shipping you off to Jeff. Yeah. Is that you live in Jeff? Yeah. Maybe he lives in you. I don't know their relationship. Uh, so anyway, uh, congratulations on a great present.

Wow. Sorry about that. Hey, today is the last day to become a champion tarp to get the 2025 tarp calendar. Where in 24 hours, we're going to get the final numbers, send it off to the printers and it's on, it's happening. Yeah. And that's it. They're not going to be for sale after that.

You're not going to be able to get them laid out like there's, we're going to print enough and that's it. I're not going to be for sale after that. You're not going to be able to get them laid out. Like there's, we're going to print enough and that's it. I don't even know if we'll get one. Sophie definitely won't get one. I just, no, absolutely fucking not. I said don't print enough. So Sophie can't have. That's just nasty. That's mean. Yeah. Sorry. That is nasty. That is mean. Send me to Jeff, you know, so nasty. So if you sign up to be a Champion Tapa,

it means you can see Monday's live stream, because you can go back and see all the stuff. So there's three years worth of stuff. You can go back and watch the Tarpathon. Yep, the Tarpathon till gold, or the original Tarpathon, the 53 hour one. But what you will see in the last, now this is a very niche specific reference,

but on Monday's live stream. Live stream for Champion Tarp stream, we did Halloween crafting. I showed a behind the scenes photo of the photo shoot for the calendar. And one of us who isn't me, one of us who isn't Sophie, but one of us was shown a fair bit of body and it was hot. And I said, everyone let Tony know that she looks great. Gas her up. They did. She looked hot as fuck, but you can get a little sneaky pic. Sneak peek of the, uh, of the calendar.

I was considering putting in this show, but no. No, I think. And also I don't, if this episode hasn't been shut down 17 times already. Trent from YouTube's probably on our case. He's on our case. We can email these messages to you. Stephanie has a limerick. Hi, Stephanie. There once was a couple of mates who put all this stuff into dates.

The calendar is free, but not really. Join Patreon before it's too late. I think that's the first one that's actually a limerick. Wow. That's amazing. Fucking cut a guy down. Like that's the first one that I think might actually be a limerick. Was that supposed to be a compliment? Just, yeah. I guess so.

Wow. Just bringing joyful poetry to the- You know what? Yeah. I'm so sorry. All right. Let me have another crack at it. Oh, please.

Actually, this is not a great example of how a limerick should go. So this isn't me trying to prove it's a limerick. It's just me trying to prove it's a limerick. It's just me trying to prove it's a limerick. All right. Let me have another crack at it. Please. Actually, this is not a great example of how a limerick should go. So this isn't me trying to prove it's limerick. It's just me sharing beautiful words. You just said, well, let me have another turn. This is just me sharing beautiful words Smithery with you. Tony Lodge. I wanted her in bed.

Already. It's not a limerick. Yeah. Love you. Go, go again. Lodge. I wanted her in bed. Already. It's not a limerick. Yeah. Love you. Go again. Because that's the you believe it has to go. I believe that. Yeah, I do believe that. I love facts. Tony, I wanted her in bed. She had a boyfriend podcast instead. You.

Just let me read it how I want to read it. Just let me read how I want to read it. Tony Lodge, I wanted her in bed. She had a boyfriend podcast instead. She won't suck my dicks, but you see her monthly pics in TAP calendar's Patreon on the web. That was beautiful. Also, I had to say dicks because it rhymed with pics, but I only have one.

Yeah. And I have sucked your dick, so don't tell people that happens. That's fake news. Okay, I'll try to do it with the da-da-da-da-da-da. Okay. Tony, I wanted her in bed. No, it's already not. It's too many syllables.

Tony wanted her in bed. She had a boyfriend podcast instead. Won't suck my dicks. See monthly pics in top calendar on the web. The last three lines are right. But, um, you know what the first line could be? I wanted Tony in bed, had to do a podcast instead.

She won't suck my dick, but want to see a pic you can when you're on the web. That would work. If I don't know if that was the right words, but that's what the rhythm is. Sounds pretty good. From off the dime. Not bad, actually. I hate to write my own gear, but turn out a turn. So Tony just made that up on the spot and fucking nailed it. And I took me about 45 minutes to write that.

Babe, do you know what, though? What I just did off the cuff, what I didn't, because I used all of your material. This is my material. This is a partnership. You bring me the raw dog and I just fucking give you that 1%. I do bring you the raw dog. And I'll give you that fucking 1% if you know what I'm saying. Yeah.

You know the size of your boyfriend's? Well, if you want 1% of that, he comes to the right place. 1% of that, I'd still get the job done if you know what I'm saying. It's not the size, it's how you use it. I'm not that good at that either. There's something in your eyes. Yeah, it was. Yeah.

There's a tiny bit of dust in my eye. Like, oh, that's me. Um, okay. For the last 20 years, you know, there's that joke when it's like, when you, especially when you got an auto car that like suddenly you just arrived somewhere and you go, Oh, highway hypnosis. Yeah. Yeah. So I had that, but not driving and I just like was in autopilot and I've just done something.

And then it wasn't too later that I've gone, okay, hang on. That's whoa. Was it right? No. Oh, okay. But there isn't the thing with highway hypnosis that it's actually incredibly safe? Probably. Yeah.

Cause you go, Oh, I don't remember it, but it's like a really safe state of mind. Like scientifically it's a very safe state of mind to be in. So for the last 20 years, I've thought this is the year that I'm going to keep my receipts for tax time. There's been a lot of tax debt on the show recently. And that's my, also my secret mission is bringing the skills of accountants to the mainstream. Yeah. And you're doing a great job. But every year you're like, cause you know, like, do you keep your receipts? You're going, fuck no. Oh, you can claim this. Oh, fuck.

Next year. I'll definitely do it next year. Totally. It's that new year, new me. New financial year, new financial me. Actually though. Yeah. And so Nick, the accountant says, you don't actually have to worry about keeping it. Just take a photo on your phone and then it's done. And then you can throw the receipt out straight away. Just get that photo. And literally, if you just take us literally, if you're at the office works, they hand you

the receipt, take a photo of it, give it back to them. It actually doesn't matter. You just need to take a photo and then I send it through. So I was going on a big drive work related because we were filming something the other day. So I filled the car up and if I'm about to go on a long drive, what would I probably do at the service station? Probably also get a little snack. And what also would I do? Oh, you would poo or wee or both or wee out of your butt. Oh, you would pay away or both or way out of your butt. Oh, no. You just text this to me. Yeah.

So I think you got it as well. Oh, Sophie, I don't think that legally she can look at that. Oh, she's saying it. Oh, no, Ryan. It's a live photo. It's not. It is. Redacted. But it's a live photo. It's a live photo. It's not. It is. Redacted. It's a live photo.

It's a live photo. Oh no. Does it have sound? How do you know if it's got sound? Oh, I'm in the toilet with you. I'm in the toilet with you. I'm in the toilet with you. Tell people what they've. Oh, so we're going to put it on the screen.

Are we? Are we? Oh, maybe we can't because there's some private information on there, like your card numbers and stuff. All right. I'm going to just have to describe it. Um, the view we have is Ryan sitting on the toilet and I can see his shoes and his pants around his ankles and, uh,

his hand splayed out like this with the receipt like this, but it's birds eye view of shit happening. If you know what I'm saying. Well, we do because you said it. And it's a live photo. I didn't realize. I didn't know it was a live photo. So the movement is. So like I said, it was like highway hypnosis. So it was like, take a photo, take a photo, take a photo. And I'm like, pay for the fuel,

go to the bathroom before I hit the road. Gotta take the photo. What do you think Nick said? What did Nick say? Maybe wait a minute next time. That's what I said to the guy after I left the room. Ryan. This is the text he sent back.

You right, mate. You're right, mate. Like, get it together. You fucking right, mate. We, oh, that is, oh my God. Do you remember when I accidentally, I'm just going to try and make you feel a little bit better. Do you remember when we were in America and it was like the settlement of my house was happening? That's right. And everything was kind of happening over face.

So I was like, Torbz and I would be on FaceTime and we'd be like looking at stuff to get at the same time, to make sure it was all good. And remember we were on FaceTime and I just hopped out of the shower and I was like, Oh, let me take a screenshot. I'll send it to my lawyer. Yeah. Like the conveyance person. And I sent a screenshot of me naked in the top corner of the thing of the, yeah.

That was hot. You know, so it happens to the best of us. Cause we just go, that's a photo of the thing. But yours was hot. Would you describe this as hot? This is disgusting. Do you know what, maybe next time. I don't think that. Do you know what I do with the servo ones though? I hop back in the car before I turn the car on, I snap a quick pic.

If I get to the car, my mind's already done. Yeah. I think at the counter is the right vibe. Yeah. Okay. Can I just say one thing? Shout out to this service station, which again, I'm not going to name it because for personal reasons, very clean bathroom for a service station.

It was early in the morning. I was the first crack, I believe. Not, not literally just crack of dawn. Who's dawn. Fuck that's shocking, mate It is a clean bathroom. You've sent that to someone that like we work with. Maybe we should shout them out because it is a clean bathroom. Or does it actually have my card details on it?

Well it will have you. Anyway, we're not going to do that. Um. Show that to the BP Tempelso for some very clean facilities. Yeah. And Ryan buys ultimate 98 if you don't mind. Must be nice. Must be very nice. Ultimate fuel, hey? The accountant's obviously giving you the thumbs up. Things going pretty well at home.

The accountant's going, you know what, mate? Treat yourself. V98 or whatever it's called. Get the ultimate, sweetheart. Now that I've shared... Treat yourself, baby. Not even 95, but 98. What are you putting in your 97 Saab? So fucking cordial.

That's what we're running on over here. What do you put in yours? Actually was instructed. It's, it's quite old, but it only had like 18,000 Ks on it. I got it from my grandparents. It's like 2005, but he was like, I was instructed to only get ultimate 98. Sometimes.

Oh, what are you putting yours before you judge us? Yeah, that's what I fucking thought. You stupid. But I've showed you this and I'm being vulnerable and I'm putting myself out there for comedy. Yes, you have. And because we are best, this is my love to see by the way. Oh, you're crossing two over. Your love to see it is becoming your story.

No, no, I just want to, because we're being vulnerable and I'm only sharing this with you because you are my best friend and I love you and I trust you. I totally trust you with my literal life. Because we are best friends, I want to propose a best friend's handshake. As my love to say it. And I've got a video of some inspiration. I absolutely accept. Would you like to see the video I propose? Yes.

Okay. This is a guy and a girl who have their own one. I've just texted it to you. Oh, restricted video. You must be 18 years old or over to see this video. It's a good one. Check it on your phone. It's a good one. Oh my God.

My computer won't even let me. I've got parental locks on. All right. Bye. It was so nice seeing you. I've got parental locks on. All right, bye, it was so nice seeing you. I accept. I accept.

I accept. If it means also that I get to drive off in a Bentley, I guess I, or a fucking Rolls Royce or whatever that is. So part of our handshake is I drive off in a Bentley. Yeah, is that I have a Rolls Royce. What do you reckon? Yeah. What do you think? Yeah, I'm keen for our handshake is I drive off in a Bentley. Yeah. Is that I have a Rolls Royce. What do you reckon? Yeah. What do you think? Yeah. I'm keen for a handshake.

I will say that I have thought about this before in my life. Yeah. That if I ever had a secret handshake with someone that I would love for it to be the one from the parent trap. What is that? Or should you say nothing and then next week we'll just see what happens on next Friday's episode. Love it.

Yeah. Love it. Okay. If someone could DM me the timestamp, that. Love it. Yeah. Love it. Okay. Um, if someone could DM me the timestamp, that would be great. I'll send it to you. I'll send it to you. Okay. Um, I physically do it. Yes, totally.

Yeah. It's like, it's like two kids. Yeah. Yeah. Um, but my love to see it, speaking of you shitting in a toilet is actually kind of similar. Um, not really though. Someone posted this, it's going to be viral last night,

I guess like post trick or treating. And I can't let Halloween go yet because I've seen this and thought the world needs to see it. I'm sending you a screenshot and we'll pop it up. We'll pop it up on the video episode if you're watching on YouTube. I hate Halloween. I pissed my pants when I saw this last night.

Okay. So it is a pumpkin that is wearing a lacy thong and I was like, Oh, is that Tony at the local pool? Um, and they've painted on hands, which is like spreading the butt cheeks and the butt of the pumpkin is the butt. Like the bottom of the pumpkin is like the asshole, but it's also like pulling the underwear away. To the side? Yeah.

When you're just in the throes of passion, you don't have time, you just pull to the side. I wonder where they borrowed that G-string from, but it's a good... Why do you wonder that? Just funny. Just funny. Why do you want to that? Just funny. Just funny. But Brooklyn, Brooklyn baby on, I think that's on Twitter posted that and it fucking made

me piss. I laughed so fucking hard. That doesn't make me laugh. That's that's Oh, I thought it was so fucking funny. It's a bit hot actually. Wow. I just think it's so creative.

It actually is. Yeah. As a crossover of a crafty girl and also a dirty bird, I just feel like that made me love so much. I feel your crafting's too wholesome. I think you should be inspired by this. Slutty a craft. Okay.

Slafed. Slafed. That's an awful word. Yeah, it's not great. No. Pending. Pending, yeah. We'll come up with a better name.

But I thought that was really funny. Love to say that. Thanks so much for watching today. We really appreciate it. We appreciate it so much. We can't believe how many people are watching and listening. It's like really crazy.

Yeah, it's really nice. Thank you. There's a little bit of time left still, if you would like to join our Patreon to get our calendar. Yep. This is going to be the last chance that you've ever got. No more limericks.

No more limericks. They're one sw you've ever got. No more limericks. No more limericks. That was nasty. That was nasty. And I take that back reducted. I'm so sorry. Don't inverted comma my limericks. I'm sorry. Love you so much. That was nasty. And I said, I'm really sorry. I don't want to finish the week like that. Do you know that something else just the splash? What if we do a little, let's try and do a little handshake. Oh.

Yep. Love it. Oh. Is that worse? Look at the pumpkin asshole again. Yeah. He's been cute. Yeah. He's got a big weekend there.

All right. Love you. Catch you on Monday. He's been cute. Yeah. He's got a big weekend ahead of him. All right. Love you. Chat to you on Monday. Yeah.