Toni and Ryan - Don't Do This When Naked

Episode Date: October 11, 2023

Your best normal or nahs, and Ryan needs some HELP from us. Be a good audience! Haha Toni xoxoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Hello. Sorry, Tony's laughing like a fucking hyena because I was just telling some old school stories about playing Sean Paul while DJing in dodgy regional clubs in Mildura. Yeah, and I was just, it's just fun to think about it. For those playing along at home, Mildura is a thriving city of about 38,000 people and the clubs went up. It actually batted above its average for nightclubs, considering the size of the town. All that fruit juice.

Everyone was hyper from all the sugar. Don't say that. The fruit juice. That's like saying everyone in Australia drinks Foster's. No, Mildura is like a citrus town. And Australia is a Foster's country. Is Mildura not a citrus town? What if it's just like not a... It's just like a thing that...

Should we call someone for an approval? Let's call Sarah, who is in the state of Victoria and nowhere near Mildura. She's in Little River. Actually, she was in Mildura. Let's ask her what she thinks of Mildura. And if she says fruit juice, then I'll pay it. Okay. Hello.

Sarah, it's Tony and Ryan. Hi. How are you, Sarah? I'm great. How are you, Sarah? I'm great. How are you? We're very well. We're in the middle of a dispute. I know that you don't live anywhere near Mildura,

but when you think of Mildura, what's the first thing that comes to mind as someone who lives in the state of Victoria? Oranges? Citrus. I told you. So Ryan reckons that like, oh, you can't just like tear them all with the same brush. Like, yeah, they have oranges there, but there's more stuff than that.

And I said, no, it's a citrus town. Well, it's a citrus town apparently. Sarah, do you approve today's podcast? Of course I do. Yeah. Hey, this is Sarah from Little River and I approve this podcast all right coming up today i need your help i'm hosting an innovation awards at my old university swimburn university tonight I'll be sending through my invoice as comedy consultant. Yeah, and all of you are welcome to do so as well.

Yep. Because I have a theme of comedy that I'll be laying down in the theatre tonight. Great. No, mate, I'm really excited for you. And this is a bit out of your comfort zone. Like I know this isn't your normal thing. Public speaking, not for me. Yeah.

No, thank you. Which is so funny because I know that people will go, you public speak every day on the podcast. It's not the same. It's literally just Tony and Cam for me. Yeah. No, thank you. Which is so funny because I know that people will go, you public speak every day on the podcast. It's not the same. It's literally just Tony and Cam in here. Yeah. Like I can't express how much it just feels like we're just sitting in here talking bullshit because we are.

Yeah, and then people happen to find it online and that's their problem. Yeah, they can deal with that themselves. Yeah. But that's coming up soon. But first, normal or nah, people send through their normal or nahs to the Tony and Ryan Facebook group on Facebook. Do you think we could do normal or nah more than once a week? Because I really like it.

Yeah? Do you think we could? I think we could. Or is it unnecessary? No, I think, I mean, there's infinite people messaging through their normal or nah. It's just really, I actually just love making it. Can you have two?

Says the person that doesn't have to prepare it. Yeah. I love contributing. Can you have too much of a good thing? But that is true as well. Because I ate like two rows of chocolate yesterday and I was like, I should have just had the one. Nah, I never regret too much chocolate.

Nah, it was Whittaker's. So someone very kindly gifted us a bunch of chocolate. My block, that's gone. Oh, is it? Yeah, so you are. So it's really good, but it's quite rich. Yeah. And I had a bit yesterday and I was like, fuck,

if I feel this good after that one little bit, I could eat a bunch more. And I ate a bunch more and then I was like, yeah, fucked it. The only reason I hate eating too much chocolate is because then there's no chocolate left. Yeah, fuck. I just don't know how to not overdo itdo it you know I didn't eat chocolate for 10 years why um as in like for a choice or you didn't have it or like what was the yeah when I was

playing volleyball and sometimes like that makes sense and just didn't have chocolate for 10 years wow but like and then I discovered it now look at at me. I could probably live without chocolate. I just couldn't live without salty stuff. Really? Like chips? Yeah, like cheese and crackers and like a charcuterie board. That'll do me in. Or like if I'm snacky, I would rather have like a toasted

cheese sandwich than like grab something sweet. Can you please remember that you said toasted cheese sandwich? I'll never forget it. Because there's a confession coming up next week, and I know this because when this one came through to the inbox, we were like. That has to go in? Yeah.

Oh, okay. Have you ever had sexy? Actually, no, I've said too much, but that's next Tuesday. Tuesday's confessions, but that came straight to the top of the inbox, and we all went, whoa, pop that in for next week. Oh, okay. Let's get into normal on ours, though, which we at this stage do once a week. Sorry for the live brainstorm.

Is it normal to not say bye when finishing a phone call? Normal or nah, asks Ellen. I've been talking to someone recently and realised they don't say bye. He thinks talk to you later is the end of the conversation. In my mind, he's just letting me know that he needs to go. But when I say bye and reply, it feels like I'm being hung up on. He's like, I need to go. And she's like, bye.

Oh, I don't think that's normal. I think nah. Nah, not normal? You finish every phone call with saying I love you. I do. Or sometimes go fuck yourself, Ryan. Yeah, you say love you. I do. Or sometimes go fuck yourself, Ryan. Yeah. You say love you most of the time.

Yep. Sometimes when you don't, though, I go, oh, I don't tell me wrong. Yeah. But I think that when you end a phone call naturally, there's kind of like a ping pong of like three or so things. All right, well, I better go. I'll chat to you in a bit. Yeah, sounds good. All right, yeah, yeah, cool.

All right, bye. Yeah, see you. Yeah, all right, yeah, sounds good, mate. All right, I'll see you in the morning. Yeah, sounds good. All right. Yeah, yeah, cool. All right. Bye. Yeah, see you. Yeah. All right. Yeah. Sounds good, mate. All right. I'll see you in the morning. Okay, see you then.

Bye. See you, mate. Like that's kind of how, and I don't know if that's just me or like. At the end of today's episode, let's not mention it again, but let's see who gets the last buy-in. Mate, we'll be here till next week. We'll have to start doing the confession. The grilled cheese sandwich.

Don't you think that feels right though? If someone said, all right, well, yeah, I better go and you went, okay, bye, and then they just hang out and be like, oh, my God, what did I do to them? Yeah. It's a bit cold. You've got to be careful with Tony. Do you know Brad who we know? No, hang on.

Don't say you have to be careful with me. It's not about being careful with me. It's just like it feels really blunt. Yeah, but I bet more like because you'll think about it. Especially if you've been on the phone for ages, like talking about whatever, I reckon the longer the phone call, the longer like the wrap-up needs to be. You know our mutual acquaintance, Brad?

Yeah. He'll just stop dead in his tracks and end a phone call. Oh, he's never done that to me. Yeah, we obviously like you. But you can chat to that guy for an hour and then it's like, yes, that's what I reckon as well. Catch up.

Oh. Okay, I guess we're done then. I guess we're done. But see, it makes you feel like, oh, okay. So it's not just me. I reckon like universally people need a bit more of a wind down. Well, Alan needs a soft landing. Yeah, I agree.

And I think I'd be like, oh, fuck you. Punch that guy in the face. Muting a scary movie because if I can't hear it, it means I won't have nightmares. Normal. Normal or Nars, Angela? Normal. Yeah?

It's the score that, like, is the scary part. If you can't hear it, it means I won't have nightmares. Normal. Normal or Nars, Angela? Normal. Yeah? It's the score that, like, is the scary part. I feel like if you watch it with no sound, you wouldn't know. Like, the music tells you there's something up there. Yeah. So without the music, you're just walking around a dark house looking for a mate. I have done this before and hit mute and gone and gone oh maybe it's just getting a bit much and you just like it's a bit like sometimes like sensory overload you go like there's too

much happening i'm feeling too um scent uh too tense like there's too much suspense so i tried to say sense and tense fuck i tried to say suspense and tensors no what, I tried to say sense and tense. Fuck. I tried to say suspense and tense. And I said there's too much sense. Too much sense. Apparently not. Not a lot of sense going on here, mate. Oh, fuck. But, yeah, I have done that.

Have you ever? Especially if I'm home alone. Have you watched a scary movie with someone else in the cinema or at home and you kind of look toward the area of the screen but not directly at it so you don't get outed for like looking away for a little bit i've done that oh no i've never done when i was young you just close my eye because it's happening over here and you go so when i watched the mummy when i was like young like little when it came in it was real scary oh that's pretty scary i watched it the other week for the first time well last year maybe it's pretty scary i was gonna say the other week and then i was like no we watched it the other week for the first time well last year maybe it's pretty scary i was

gonna say the other week and then i was like no we watched it for the pod like last year um and so i just looked towards the front of the cinema but deliberately like didn't visually engage it just because i needed a moment to like breathe so i just like looked at the curtain just so if my friend glanced over and looked at me they wouldn't know that i wasn't really smart the only thing is is that they wouldn't have seen that you were looking away because they were also looking away. Yeah, no, I did. It was Rowan and he goes, you're not looking, are you? And I went, oh. You just grab a handful of popcorn, shove it in your face.

Don't yell at me. I'm trying to eat, mate. Yeah. Oh, what? There's a movie on. Waiting for the hot water to start running through the tap before you fill the kettle so you don't have to wait as long for the kettle to boil. Normal or nah?

Asked Jackie. I think about this every time I make a cup of tea. I think that's normal. Yeah. But I do it with, like, boiling a pot of water. Because the kettle you can kind of, like, put it on and go and do something else. Whereas, like, if you're boiling a pot of water, like, for pasta, say, you kind of have to be watching because, like, you've got to –

In case it boils over or whatever. Well, yeah. So do you wait for the tap to get to hot and then – because you're, like, skipping the middleman almost. Like, why am I putting something cold in if I'm just going to heat it? Yeah. No, I think that that makes sense. It makes logical sense.

I don't know why I do this. It probably saves me two seconds of time and wastes heaps of water, but I feel just so unproductive, says Jackie, putting the cold water in. I feel so unproductive. Or inefficient. Yeah. I actually, I think that's fair.

If you put water from the kettle into a pot for boiling pasta, would that be really fast? But you've already waited for the kettle. Yes. What's faster? would that be really fast? But you've already waited for the kettle. Yes. So what's the, yeah. What's faster? Well, surely whatever time you lose at any point equals the same amount at the end. And the pot's bigger than the kettle, so then you're going to start

at the kettle again. Yeah, you've got to do two full kettles into the pot. You might as well have just heated the pot. Yeah. Life's too complicated. Actually, it's too much. Alright, finally. Showering with your dog. Is this normal or nah? Ask Leah. Hi, Leah. One day I walked into the bathroom

and my now ex-boyfriend and the dog are both in the shower together. He said there's no easy way to wash the dog without getting soaked himself, so if he's going to get wet and have to have a shower anyway, he may as well two birds, one stone. I thought it was really weird. I asked him to never do that again, but then we broke up and he kept the dog. So as far as I know, now they're naked showering together all the time.

Normal or nah? I do agree that normally when you wash the dog, you end up, like, completely soaked. But dog shampoo is, like, different to what you would use on your skin. Is it? And you probably wouldn't want that on your skin. It's good enough for Bron. It's good enough for me.

Yeah. Unless it was, like, but lots of dogs use like an oatmeal or like a medicated shampoo or whatever. Like, would you want, I actually don't know. What would Pippa be like in the shower? Would you bother? How does she? We normally just like kneel over the bath.

Just give her a little scrub in her. Because she's so little that if you were in the shower with her, you'd have to like kneel down anyway. That's weird. That would be like completely weird. Yeah. I think that my problem with it. In a doggy position.

Yeah, like I'd be like leaning over. Like that's so odd. Yeah. I think the weird thing about it is that the boyfriend was naked, like having his own shower. Yeah. Well, he's just cleaning up. He's been for a walk with the dog,

put some shampoo on the hair and body wash. You know when we talked about once like washing the shower and doing that, as in like scrubbing the shower and doing, like would you do that naked? Yeah, but it's not sexy. Well, no, it's obviously not sexy. But you kind of do that naked because you go, oh, well, yeah,

then I can like run the hose and what am I going to do standing there with clothes on? Yeah, feeling awkward. And then they get soaked because I'm all wet. Yeah, where do we end up on that? Well, I think it's the same kind of thing because my boyfriend, Torbs, he does the shower. Yeah.

And does he do it while showering? Well, he doesn't do it while, like, so he'll scrub the bathroom and then he'll, like, have a shower to, like, clean himself off. Can I just put a little asterisk in here? Yeah. If you shower, like, you know, like the glass door closes and it really encloses. If you go really hard on the cleaning product,

you can really get, like, a wee-woo. Yeah. We don't have a door in our shower. Okay, great. But with the hot water, the steam and it really – Yeah, you could really gas yourself. It's as if you've been walking through duty free at the airport. Like you're hammered in no time.

You're like, how good is cleaning the shower, sweetheart? Yeah, or I open the door later and he's just had a little nap in there and I go, hmm. He's been in the shower for a while. Yeah, and Pippa's in there as well. He's been in the shower for a while. Yeah, and Pippa's in there as well. Hey, this is Sarah from Little River,

and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon. That's our champion tapas over at our Patreon, Tony and Ryan Podcast. Brandon Phillips. Brandon, exclamation mark, Phillips. Brandon Phillips. It's like panic at the disco. It is like that.

Yeah, sorry, my ass. I got an emo chat from you recently. Nah, it's the back end of the year. My Spotify playlist always takes a bit of a turn. Remember how I went through that phase again last year? Yeah. Getaway plan. Getaway plan. If I learn anything from it.

There was a bit of short stack, a bit of Amy Meredith. Yes. Controversial to include that one, apparently. But this time of year, every September, I get a bit emo. It's a spooky season, mate. Tomorrow's Friday the 13th. Who knows what will happen. Oh, God.

Spooky town. Matt Broman. What's up, Doug? I don't know. Shaka Brothers. Lynn Sanchez. Lynn with her pug, Rudy. Oh, yeah.

Tracina Cisneros. Thank you, Tracina. Amy Twomanen and Emma Farker. Yeah, she does. Yeah, she does. We were just talking about sharing with your dog. Is it cute that I shower with Mabel or is that weird? I think that's fine because you're using the same stuff

and you're like holding her. Yeah. It's like I think I always used to shower with my mum and dad. Yeah, because when Mabel and I go for a swim in the pool together, like we're both cold and you don't want to like – you want to get her warm as possible, so you just like jump in the shower. Yeah, because she's like warming up on your body temperature as well. Skin on skin.

Yeah. Yeah, but then when the water drips on her head, she like giggles and stuff and just loves it sick. Oh, that's fun. Yeah. But, yeah, no, I think that's really normal, but I think doing it with a dog, showering with a dog, I just think that's different areas if I'm being completely honest.

Yeah, fair. But, I mean, not trying to yuck anyone's yum. You do your own. I don't think you can yuck. There's a bit there where you can start yucking it, I think. But, you know, like if that's more practical for you, it makes sense. But my dog is so small, it makes no sense. And she can't get her ears wet.

But then what's the opposite? If you've got a great day and are they fitting in the shower, you know what I mean? What's the perfect size for a shower dog? I mean, that's the question really. And then all of a sudden do you have – see, the ultimate shape for a dog is a person. What if they're standing?

They're going to sleep over and hurt themselves, pop a hip out. You need to be long and tall for a shower. You can't be, and tall for a shower. You can't be, oh, I just put them in the bath, which is what people do. I think in our new house we've got like a trough in our laundry, which will be so much better for Pippa rather than like at the moment where we're like hunched over the bath. Yeah. That'll be really cool.

Or just put her in the hot tub. Yeah. She's just boiling like a little dumpling. She's swirling around in the hot water. In the jets. So if I put it in the hot water. In the jets. So if I put it from the kettle, it'll be faster than if I do it from the hot tap. Hot tap. I need your help.

Tonight I'm hosting the Innovation Impact. I've got it written down what it is. But basically the alumni of Swinburne University where I studied my undergrad. Congratulations. It's the people who've done really well from our school. Like it's specialty. You know how universities like do a lot of everything.

Is it because you've done really well? Is that why they got you to host it instead of giving you an award? Well, they said, oh, we're celebrating the success as former students. And then I'm like, why are you calling me? And they said, oh, can you hand out the trophies? Yeah. Yeah. Could you give people the name tags out the front?

Yeah. Yeah. So there's a bit of that. But it's like at the specialty of my undergrad uni, Swinburne, it's like engineering, technology, IT. 12th winter Swinburne. Yeah, exactly. So that's their area.

So it's like innovation and impact. And when I've seen some of the finalists, I was like, fuck, these people have actually done some pretty impressive stuff. And so there's a bunch of finalists tonight. I'll be announcing the winners and hosting a big sort of gala event sort of thing. You must be quite flattered. No, I'm nervous as fuck.

No, no, no, but you can be both. Like you can be flattered that they wanted you to do it because obviously they recognise that not only you weren't there but also that you're like a presenter. And I think being nervous is healthy because otherwise you go in like real cocksure and then people think you're a jerk anyway. I'm not sure of my cock. But you know when you – and people go,

I've never been nervous in my life. And you go, maybe you should be. Maybe you've never stepped outside your comfort zone. Exactly right. That's beautiful. That's where the magic happens. So because it's all about innovation and technological change and stuff, I thought, and this is what I'm going to say.

Yeah. Like it's hard to have a conversation about innovation and change in 2023 without AI or machine learning getting mentioned, right? I feel like that's all everyone's ever talking about. So with this in mind, I've asked ChatGPT to write some jokes to open an innovation awards at Swinburne tonight. That's quite funny. That's very funny.

And then I think what I'm going to do. Do you have the jokes? Yeah, yeah. But I think what I'm going to do. Oh, no. Sorry, the fucking robots have gone against us. The screen behind me. Oh, yours has changed as well. Oh, no. Sorry. The fucking, the robots have gone against us. The screen behind me. Oh, yours has changed as well.

Oh, no. Okay. And so, but I don't want to like back these in and say they're my jokes because if they bomb, then I can like blame someone else. Okay. Technological innovation. Tony has changed the screen behind her from the Tony and Ryan sign to a picture of Tony's face stuck on the front of the KFC logo.

Oh, my God. What? Maybe you could do this. Computers and shit. This is the opening. Anyway, the first category is. Sorry, mate. I think it's really funny to be like.

Is that a good area? I think it's hilarious to be like, oh, so I got ChatGPT to write these. And if you get a few groans, you go, yeah, so no one worry about the computers taking your jobs. I don't have to worry about it taking mine. Well, the benefit of using chat gpt is saying like these are you can deflect so i thought before i even start i'm gonna say like you know oh with a round of applause who thinks they're gonna be awesome and who thinks they're gonna suck oh we'll find out who's right huh so i'm gonna be like do we think they're gonna be good or do we think Huh?

So I'm going to be like, do we think they're going to be good or do we think we're going to be bad? Oh, the jokes. I thought you meant the people. And I was like, oh. That's a bit rough. Well, yeah. Here's your reward, you piece of shit. Yeah.

Oh, you suck though. You were nominated, you dickhead. No, I mean, I was like, who thinks the jokes are going to be great and who thinks they're going to be terrible? And then if they're terrible, I can be like, oh, that's a terrible. And like you said, go on. It's all good. Because then you have like a common enemy.

Yeah. You all hate the jokes together or you all like the jokes together. Instead of me being like, I've spent hours preparing this. Yeah. So you're ready for some of the gear. Yeah. And keep in mind, engineering, technology. Yeah.

So I put all this info into chat GBT. I was like, it's a room full of engineers and IT and a lot of biomedical science. Wow. Actually, the more I read about it, I was like, should I be doing jokes because these are very impressive people. Impressive people have fun too. No, I don't think so. They do?

No. Because we've got a lot of doctors that listen to this podcast as a brain break. A lot of PhDs. Yeah, you know. What's the favourite TV show of electrical engineers? Big Bang Theory. A Current Affair. Oh!

Is that a real laugh? Is that a real laugh? Yeah, that's funny. You sure? Yeah, like a current. I get it. I just want to prove that I get it. I don't want people to be like, she doesn't get it.

I think I'm going to take a new tool to the thing, which is called Tony GPT, and she then explains the joke. Chat GP Tony. Chat GP Tony, and then she explains the joke. What is AI's favourite type of music? Algorithm and blues. Right? Yes, yes, yes.

Not a lot from Camden. You can't take the credit. You didn't write it. I'm not taking it. You're like, yeah, yeah credit. You didn't write it. I'm not taking it. You're like, yeah, yeah, but you didn't write it. That's so funny. I'm tapping the computer. She's tapping the computer.

Well done, technology. Well done, computer. Why did Tony, the audio engineer, get locked out of the studio? Why? Because she left her keys on the board. Keyboard. That's very funny. That's funny. those you like this yeah um there's a category that's for sustainability and environment beautiful so i thought like i'll keep a couple

because you know like you do the opening and then there's like a few awards and then you do a little bit more and then there's like a few awards and stuff so i thought i'll keep this one for the sustainability bit nice what did the wind turbine say to the winner of the Renewable Energy Award? I'm a huge fan of yours. That's very good. Yeah, good work, TechieBT. I think that you've come up with, like, a really creative way of, like, presenting the thing as well.

Like, it's quite interesting. Like, you go, I'm not a tech guy, but like AI. It's the biggest topic we're talking about. Yeah. I think that's great. It's so much better than you just getting up there and being like, welcome to the sustainability awards. The toilets are in the back corner.

Yeah. Or like, you know, when you go to an event and the MC is like really nervous, understandably. I'm going to be nervous. No, no, no. But when the MC is really nervous or when you see a stand-up that's really nervous and you go, you're supposed to be putting, like I feel nervous for you now.

Yeah, you're supposed to be putting me at ease. Yeah, like when you walk out and you go, hey, everyone, how are you feeling? Like you need the vibe. Whereas otherwise sometimes when you go and you go, oh, they don't seem real confident. So like now I feel like you don't know where we're driving. Should I be more like?

So one little trick that I have used in the past for nerves, and I've said this to other people, but now I'm questioning it because I believe you're right. It's like if you're steering the ship, then I don't. I'm like one of the best way to get the nerves out is to go out there and say I'm nervous. Yeah. Because hiding the nerves is almost worse

when you go and you go hey guys welcome to the show gonna be a fantastic evening my name's ryan really nervous to be hosting tonight so and i feel like as soon as you say you're nervous it just like takes the pressure away yeah because then if you fuck up then people go oh well he said he was nervous it's almost like acknowledging the nerves yeah he's a bit nervous oh but he said he was yeah i don't know. It sort of just takes the pressure off. But I think it's just so much worse, though, when someone, like, walks out there and they're, yeah,

and then you go, oh, they don't really know what they're doing. Like, should I be, like, immediately you take that on? No, I think good areas. Good areas. Why did the Swinburne sustainability expert break up with the plastic bottle? He wanted a longer-lasting relationship than a one-off fling. Because like reusable bottles. And one of the nominees is like a reusable bottle. Too wordy.

It's quite wordy. It is quite wordy. But I think, again, the value of you saying, well, that's chat GPT, like, oh, he doesn't really get the beats of a joke. Yeah. You know, you could learn that. There's one. Have you ever lived in a world without Google, you young spring chickens?

Well, yeah, like, there was when I was doing, like, computer class at school. Yeah, it was like this new thing. Google was, like, less of an immediate thing that you would go to. Because I think on the pod we've talked about like Ask Jeeves and like Dogpile and stuff that they were like the original search engines. So I still think for some reason in my brain like when someone goes, oh, internet technologies and stuff, I always think, yeah, the last five or so years.

And, you know, it just hasn't clicked. So Google turns 25 this week. That is crazy. And here's another little thing as well. Here's a little one. Because there's an internet technology. Great. And so based on this, I was like, hey, hit us up with some Google gear.

Google turns 25 today. And in unrelated news, Leonardo DiCaprio has started using Bing. Hilarious. That is so funny. I thought it was going to go in the direction of, oh, now Google can rent a car. Because you can't do that, D25. You save that for you.

You've got to pay the premium. You can save that if you want. You can use that for free. That's good gear. Well, you said for free, but you've also mentioned multiple times you'll be sending an invoice. So which one is it? I mean. You can use that for free. That's good gear. Well, you said for free, but you've also mentioned multiple times you'll be sending an invoice. So which one is it? I meant.

You can use that for free. $1,000. Yeah, here's the money that I require. Now, that's really funny, the Leonardo DiCaprio gear. Yeah. Do you think they'll get that? That's the thing. It's like very pop culture-y, reference-y.

But. As we know, scientists don't have personalities. No, that's not true. See you guys tonight. Impressive people like jokes. I reckon go in with the Leo gear, but if people don't respond, then you've got the rent-a-car gear in your back pocket. Tony said rent-a-car.

No. I'm nervous. Yeah. Oh, and then they go, oh, well, great. He said he's nervous, and he was. He said he was nervous these jokes would be shit, and they are. And he was trustworthy because he did tell us right at the beginning that he was. But all in all, do you feel like I'm prepared or do I need to go back to the table?

No, I think you're super prepared. Like I said, I think it's a very creative idea. Rather than you just getting up there and being like, yeah, the toilet's right at the back, the car park's going to be open till 12 for tea and coffee. Boring. Who's having tea and coffee in the car park? No, like, you know how when you're at a function, they put that big silver urn on the table and it's like,

oh, but the car park's, like, open. I'm not hosting someone's 21st birthday at the local RSL. Well, we don't know who's coming, do we? Is it televised? Can I watch it? It might be live streamed. I don't know who's going to watch it though. I'll be watching it.

Well, I'm actually busy tonight. Well, Tony, tonight is with Life Uncut in Perth. Yes, I am. It's a dry heat. We've got to get going. Yeah, you've got to get your flight and get your dry heat on. It's a dry heat, yeah. You take plenty of moisturiser.

It was a hydrolite. It's a hydrolite. Saved myself from the dry heat. Yeah, but are the tickets available? Three-hour time difference. Okay, you'll be sweet. No idea. Literally no idea.

Google, if you're in Perth, Life Uncut Perth, Tony is a guest on their live show tonight. Yep. Or you can come to the Engineering Awards. I mean, what's going to be more fun? Yeah, did you get any tickets? Like, were you allowed to invite someone? I didn't even ask.

Rude. I would have loved to go if I wasn't in Perth. Well, you're busy in Perth. I I would have loved to go if I wasn't in Perth. Well, you're busy in Perth. I actually would have loved to go if I wasn't busy. Would you? Yeah, I'd go and support you. Do you want to know something that's actually impressive? And do your laughs, yeah.

Because they do a lot of product design, manufacturing, engineering stuff, they actually got students and experts who work at the school to design the trophies. That's cool. And there's a video that i'm like as part of the presentation being like hey check out how they made these and the guys basically like the trophies have been pretty boring and the same for a long time so we've got like these natural indigenous woods and we've created our own design using autocad and then we

use a 3d printer to print this thing onto it's actually like really so the trophies themselves are actually like a work of the school. That's cool. And they're like, oh, we're going to have this little speech about how the trophies were made. And I was like, okay, if that's what you guys want. But then I watched it and I was like, this is sick. See, that's interesting though.

Yeah. Not when they go, oh, yeah, and thanks to Southwest trophies down on the main highway. Like, that's boring. Yeah. No, that's sick. I mean, no, Southwest trophies. I mean, the best trophies I've ever seen. Especially in the South. Yeah. No, that's it. I mean, no, Southwest trophies. I mean, the best trophies I've ever seen.

Especially in the Southwest. Yeah, the Southwest. What do you love to see? Sorry, hang on. Just before we get into how you love to see it, how are you feeling? You feeling good? Like I said, I am nervous. Yeah.

And I think that's good, though. But it is. I think now that I've seen all the videos of the nominees and the finalists, it is like it's just really impressive about what they've done. Yeah. And I think there's a lot of, especially in business, there's a lot of awards and stuff and there's podcasts. But I'm like, oh, these people have truly done some really great stuff

that's impacting a lot of people. So it's kind of pretty special to learn about their story. As wanky as that might sound. It's not then i but then i feel a bit bad about going yeah so i also graduated from here and um i tell dick jokes for living so but thanks for like saving the planet everyone's got to do something yeah everyone's we all contribute in our different ways yeah exactly but so i'm like it's an impressive night so it's kind of nice to be a part of it yeah no that's really cool but I will be like, when I've done my main hosting parts and it gets more to the drinks and stuff afterwards,

there'll definitely be like a deep breath. As it always is, yeah. And I mean, it might as well be the duty-free section of the airport after I'm done tonight because I reckon I might stretch your legs a little. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I think you might get an Uber home. Might not drive. Not driving.

Not driving. Not driving. My love to see it is this suggested post that I got on Facebook for Tatura family butchers. I'm not sure where they're actually based. What have you been searching that Facebook's like, I know where to get her? I get crazy shit on my Facebook, honestly.

I don't know where Tatura is. I'm just going to my Facebook, honestly. I don't know where Tachiro is. I'm just going to Google it. Oh, it's in Victoria. Okay, so not that far off. You'd hope so. But they posted this thing, and I thought it was such a good idea. Yeah. They said, why not try one of our breakfast packs this morning?

Saw this on Sunday morning, so it was very appropriate. Yeah, they knew what I was doing. For feeding two hungry people. And it's this little pack that they do. It's got, like, four sausages in it, four eggs, a bunch of mushrooms and an orange juice and some bacon. Is it like a little DIY hangover buster? Yeah.

Can I send one to my place tomorrow morning? Actually, yeah, this might be a really good idea. Yeah, but I just saw that and I thought, that's a really fucking good idea. That's great. Everyone should be doing shit like that. And what's that lady in the photo? What's her deal?

Well, she just works there. So shout out to the Tatura family butchers. Really great idea. I thought it was awesome. My love to see it today is... Now, this starts like a bad story, but you've got to stick with me here. A food delivery driver is off to deliver some food, and he gets arrested, and it turns out he's done some misdemeanors

in the past and he like gets taken in oh shit um where's the burrito now well the cop the cop felt bad so then the cop went and like delivered the order and that's why he loved to see it that's a great lady opens the door and there's a cop and she's like oh is everything okay and he's like oh um three burritos and an orange juice and she's like, oh, is everything okay? And he's like, oh, three burritos and an orange juice. And she's like, thanks. He's like, yeah, the guy got arrested. Sorry about that. Anyway, have a great day, love.

And don't you love to say that. A police officer showing up at your door, though, the most horrible thing that you could ever imagine, surely. Because, like, every TV show you've ever watched, it's like the mum and dad are waiting for their daughter to get home. And, you know, like, how fucking scary would that be? And they take their hat off? Yeah. And they go, oh, Mrs. West.

And they go, yeah. Burritos? Yeah. I know, Tony, that you are, you know, a very responsible law-abiding citizen. But do you even see a cop and go, yeah. Yeah. Like that's normal? I think so.

Well, it might not be normal, but I just think I'm always like, oh, am I doing the right thing? I was talking to my sister the other day, though, about when you go through a booze bus or a breathalyzer thing or whatever, and you go, oh, my God, did I drink alcohol this morning? Yeah. You're like, oh, my God, did I put champagne on my cornflakes instead of, like, I just always do it i haven't had more than one drink in the last in one day in the last six months and you're like yeah like and it doesn't matter where i am what time of day it is i'm like

oh my god did i accidentally have an espresso martini instead of a coffee this morning and i'm like and i just i don't know why i do it but i'm just so unsure of myself at all times. There was a booze bus driving home from New Zealand, like from the airport. Yep. And I went, I drank all that stuff in duty free. And then I was like, no, that was on the way there. And also you weren't driving. Oh, you mean from the airport. Oh my God.

Oh my God. As if you would have even gotten the car. Like if that was the case, I would have been like, we'll leave your car here. I'll drive you home. As if I would have been able to find the front seat. Think it happened again today. Yeah. Just go back through there.

Whoa. Okay. All right. Thank you so much for listening, and we'll chat to you tomorrow. It's a video show. Video show tomorrow. Tomorrow, this is where we talk. Tony's lying mum makes a return.

Oh. Gosh, she's copying it this way. No. a return. Oh. Gosh, she's cupping it this way. No. Love you, bye.