Toni and Ryan - Don't Get Dumped In A Hot Air Balloon

Episode Date: May 10, 2026

QUIZ-Jon: Millennial Midlife Crisis - HENS PARTY SECRET - Monday Mailbag - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Tony, I don't think it's going to work out and I think we should go our separate ways. What? Yeah, sorry. But I think this is it for us. So, Tony, I hear you're single. Hi, I'm Alexandra from Fallon, Sweden. Hi, I'm Joel from Sydney, Australia. I'm Sophie from one-sacin-fries in Tasmania.

Can I agree this podcast? Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Author. Meow. Well, what's happened in your mouth? There's something in my mouth. Oh, oh, sorry. Did you see that?

Yeah. This is going to sound scandalous, but I think it was a bit of Lily's hash brown. Okay. What you guys do at home is up to you. It happened in the office. Oh. Also, can I talk about the coffee run this morning? Sure.

I think I fucked up. Oh. Everybody got the wrong milk and you're all going to shit yourselves. So, normally of late I haven't been doing a coffee run often someone will duck out and go I'm Eddie's run on the way blah blah blah or you'll come in with just a coffee for you well we all come in at different times and stuff but often if we're going to like hit record like at 10 a.m this morning I was like cool at 945 the text goes out like oh who's getting

the coffee so when I texted the group have you guys discussed this? No when I texted the group what I thought I was saying was like, is someone doing a coffee run? Let me, hang on. Let me read the text. And everyone and just set me their orders. Eddie's run question mark. Yeah, like who's doing it?

Can I say though? And I'm not saying I nailed the brief because I was in the car, so I just was that. It was via Siri, like you've sent through Siri. but we don't I don't think that we've ever been like is someone doing an Eddie's run like we've never asked that question

Oh no because normally someone is And I was kind of like oh like is someone doing that today Why didn't you just say that? What in my brain that's what I did say Sure And then the response I got was from Charles saying Yep I'll get a soy hot chock It does read that way

That you've said like Anyone from Eddie's here The only one pointing I'm pointing fingers at is me And do you know what's crazy is that everybody, I didn't, but everybody else said yes. Like, you know, when you go, anybody want a coffee? And then people just like, it's, you know, and it's never for flat whites. No, actually, read the fucking order. Like, it's never, oh, yeah, all of us just need a flat white on normal milk, please.

Read the order. And again, I was coming in, like, thinking I was going to rock up to the office. Someone was going to put a coffee in my hand and we hit record. Yeah. Because I was the last one in today. Cutting it fine. cutting it fine, but instead I spent 25 minutes down the fucking road because have a listen to this.

A soy hot chocolate, a hot long black and almond marcher with honey and some little hush browns. I tell you what's all so funny when you read this whole extensive list and then you go, oh fuck did I want something? Like I haven't, yeah. And then in the middle of there is Charles texting Tony is fine. Yeah. Fine.

Yeah. Is saying Eddie's run as well. is that like that's coffee implied can you do can you ask for food in that situation? No I'll pop a hush brown. Do you reckon? No, that's fine because often are. Is it hash brown the extent though? No.

Like could you go, oh, I want a ham and cheese croissant or like whatever? Well often they'll go get a coffee later in the day and I'll go fuck you wouldn't get throw a sausage roll in there, would you? Oh, but that's, if you're going to grab lunch feels different to being like we're grabbing coffee. I'm grabbing coffee on the way. Don't you reckon? Well, maybe that's why a little.

gave me a hash brown. Yeah, she was like, well, I better throw my bone here. Yeah. No, I like the coffee run. I like the camaraderie of a coffee run. I think it's really nice. Same. But that was just the little, and when the orders came in, I was, okay.

I'll do it then. Yeah, it looks like I got coffee run, yes, you. Yeah. It does read that way. I'd love to be on your side, but unfortunately. I'm not on my side. No, I'm saying I would love to be, though, but I do, yeah. Um, guys

In what world would that not read that way? You're also the last one in. Like that's also what would happen when the last person's in, they would message. Yeah. I know, I get it. Yeah.

It just my brain was not in that zone. And you're like, fuck, now I've got to get, not only eight coffees. I have to go milk some fucking goat because someone wants a thing. Yeah. Um,

I didn't need anything, no one's complimenting me for being low maintenance. That's okay. Brought my own drink from home. Did you want something, sweetheart? No, I'm okay. Thank you. That's why I said I was all right.

The millennial midlife crisis is here. And it's not what you think. What age are millennial? Like, what's our range? Do you know? That's a great question. I reckon almost, because you're at the right at the bottom end, I think. Am I?

Can we just get a confirmation of birth years? 1981 to 1986. Oh, yeah. So I'm 93. Yeah. What are you? 87? Yep.

So, 81. to 96. So what's that? 42 to 28? 30 to 45. Yeah, right. Yeah, okay. 40 to 35.

Okay. Yeah. No. That can't be right. 30 to 45. 30 to 45. Now our, and I say ours in millennials. Yes.

Midlife crises, it turns out a way different to preview. generations. Now let me read my little poetic speech here. Oh, I love it. We were told, be polite, earn a degree, get a job and you'll get the house and the car on the dream and it'll all be good. I don't know if anyone's read the economic section of the newspapers recently, but we kind of got fucked over on that, eh? Buying a house, it's like just, it's really expensive to get by and it's like, oh, I went to school and then especially America, it's like, cool, here's a hundred thousand debt for that degree plus houses in New York or like any big sick like just forget about it. Forget about it.

So millennials aren't buying sports car. You know, I was like, oh, he's bought a sports car and he's having an affair and that's like the really quick. The classic trope of like, yep. Instead, we're going to Disneyland. We're baking sourdows, joining run clubs, collecting vinyl and doing pottery classes. We're not falling apart. We're finally just doing the things we actually want to do. well to offer a like different perspective because I saw this thing the other day I think that the

the sentiment of this has been rolling around for a while and I really like it and it's like who you are it's normally aimed at women but who you are at 30 is being who you were at 15 but actually liking her this time oh it's like you re-return to all of those hobbies you really like, but you're not going through all of those big, like, hormonal changes, life changes that you are as a teenager, that you kind of, you feel a bit more settled and whatever, and you can kind of afford to put money into a hobby like a dance class or baking sourdough or whatever it is. So, like, would we consider that a crisis? Well, for the purpose of, I've already created a which midlife crisis personality quiz.

Oh, it's like, I reckon it is. I'm going with crisis as well. But you're right though. Crisis isn't the right word. I think it's more like you get to a point where you've gone, I'm actually overdoing what I'm supposed to do in inverted commas. And I'm actually just going to give me one. I'm going to do one for me this time.

I think and I don't think the word crisis is right. I agree. But again, for the sake of the quiz. Now, I've actually created a quiz here. That's amazing. This is going to sound buzzfeeding, but this is from quiz John. And let me tell you... Let's get quizzical.

It's a multiple choice. It deserves better. Thank you, Oterrvia Newton-John. Also, we got a lot of feedback that Olivia Newton-John wasn't referenced in one of the top Olivia's. And that is actually so fair. That is actually very fair. No, she should have been up there.

We all love grace. Now, all of your answers kind of get pulled together. So like a BuzzFeed quiz, at the end, it'll tell you, which type of millennial midlife crisis you're likely to have. Oh my gosh. Yeah. I love that. Question one.

It's a Saturday morning. Oh. What do your ideal plans look like? Is it A, a five kilometre run with a whole bunch of strangers? Is it B, reform a Pilates, then a green smoothie? Oh. C, elbow deep in clay, at a ceramics class. Or D, watching old movies I've seen 10 times and having.

a little cry. B or C. Okay. Charles, can you jot down her answers please? B or C? Because I love a refi forms.

Yep. And I love doing it. Because I remember when I did that pottery workshop for my birthday last year? Yeah. That was really far. I actually found all these pictures on my phone the other day of Torbs and I. Because he went with me and we both like wearing aprons like covered in clay. It's like really cute.

Did you get photos of that guy who used to be our neighbors who made the whole class about him? Okay, so I hate to sound like I'm going through a millennial midlife crisis right now, but that was the flower workshop I did. Charles, I hate to get my wires crossed here, but that was a different workshop I did. Charles, I don't know how you're going to document it, but that is so telling for which of the ones Tony's going to be. I think we already know. And it's D, buying a sports car. Yay!

Question two. When something goes wrong. like at work or you had a stressful day or something, whatever. You cope by a signing up for a half marathon. B, lighting a candle, having a bath and meditating a little. C, baking some sourdough and nurturing that starter like it's your own child. Or D, rewatching the office and eating cereal for dinner. Okay.

So I'm trying to decide between any of them that aren't I, which was the marathon. Yep. Um, I really do love making sourdough, but my starter is in a bad way right now. So I, it would be a very performative answer for me to do that one. Um, watch it, rewatching the office is definitely up there. What was B? Lining a candle, having a bath and meditating a little. I do love having a bath.

I haven't had one for ages. Um, can I combine B and D and watch the office in the bath? It's going to be hard when you have to click the button on the quiz. Yeah, but the Quizmaster Ryan John, though. Oh, allow it. Do we have those? Put a B and D. I've answered two for all of them.

So indecisive. Well, this next one, I actually read the four options and was like, Tony could be all four. And I would go, yep. Yeah. You've just made a big purchase. What was it? All that we, eat all of your above.

A, a bike so you can go on long bike, right? It's like. Already done it. B, a cold plunge tub for the backyard. Slate. C, enough yarn to knit a medium-sized country. D, tickets to a band you've loved forever. Oh, I think I'm going to go B because it's the only one I haven't bought.

I have been buying tickets to a lot, like I've been going out. Put B and D again. Yeah, B and D. Yep. Yeah. What was the other one? Enough yarn. I do that all the time.

That's fine. Yep. And what was A? The bike. I've got a bike. Do you know what's crazy? The bike place I bought that from. You know how we were talking about the other things for?

The bike place I bought it from has also gone into liquid. So like, oh, every three months you can go and get it. Service? No, they're bankrupt. Service? Bankrupt. So you can't take it. They won't do anything.

No support. These startups offering long-term... But they're not startup. That was 99 bikes. Oh, are they gone under? Read? Maybe read? Read cycles?

Sure. Yeah. Crazy. Oh, just business time's tough, bro. Absolutely. But you buy this stuff and then you go, oh. Your phone's most used app is A, Strava. For my bike.

B, some breath work app. C, Pinterest or D, a streaming service where you're rewatching a show from the early 2000s. Pinterest. Pinterest. Yeah, definitely. And also everyone listening and watching, jot your answers down because I'll tell you your results at the end. Yeah. I've been scrolling Pinterest a lot because I like lots of craft inspo.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. When you think about the future, you feel. I'm about to have a fucking mental breakdown. That's one of the answers. This is the Christ. A, weirdly competitive about it.

B, anxious and then you need to calm yourself down with breathwork or meditate. C, like you need to make something with your hands first. Like that's a way of like, I just want to like ground myself and make something. Or D, you'd actually, instead of thinking about the future, you'd rather think about the past. Like reminisce and, you know. On a fucking Monday. Can I please have those options again? You get weirdly competitive about it?

Competitive? Uh, anxious. Anxious. And then needing to calm down. Yep. Uh, C, um, you want to like make something with your hands. Mm. Uh, or D, you'd rather think about the past and reminisce.

I feel like at the moment though, when I'm thinking about the future, I feel excited. And that's not an option. Mm. Um, probably anxious and then the meditation. Okay. I think that's probably the best answer for me. That's a B. B.

This one's going to be. fucking testers. Here we go. Here we go. Deep down. What are you actually looking for? Okay. Well, I've actually shut that part of my body off.

So. A, a sense of achievement. Ooh. B, in a piece. Oh, namaslay. I don't. I don't. I don't.

A people say none on the internet. If you want to be the first one, say it into the microphone. Are people saying that though? Because I don't think I've ever heard someone say namaslay. I don't think people say namaslay. Tademark. That's mine.

That's fine. That's fine. And what would you like to say to people as they go off to their day today, Tony? Namaslo. That's amazing. What was C? C. Something that actually is mine that I've made with my own hands.

Or D, a time when things felt simpler. And you can't say inner slate. because that wasn't namaslay because it wasn't technically. It wasn't that technical. Yeah. So if you had to choose. Okay. Probably A.

What was that? Pride and. A sense of achievement. Yeah. I think the pride and achievement. I don't think I'm quite there yet. Yep. Let me tell you before we get to.

So basically it's like mostly A is mostly B. So Charles, if you could get a vibe from Tony. If you answered mostly A's, you are the accidental athlete. You decided physical. suffering was the antidote to extend extrustential dread and honestly it's working you don't exercise you train so they're the people doing half marathons getting out there and about exercise and I feel I don't know if it's like my age but there's a lot of people and I think I want to be this I'm not this person but I want to be this person where it's kind of like if you don't do that stuff it's not going to

be easier to get fit at 60 like you know if you want to do those physical things or take care of your body while you're still healthy. Yeah. Well, I feel like, to your point, this is the age where people go, oh, if I want to still be able to walk at 80 and I feel really good, you know, it's now when you kind of have to do it.

I think that's probably the approach to exercise that I have at the moment, like doing strength training and like stretching and stuff rather than like getting out and running and like gassing myself all the time. I'm like, no, I think that if I'm trying to be consistent, it's probably better long term. B, like mostly B answers is the wellness spiral.

Spirals also are a fucking rough word. Yeah. Did you make this? With the help of the internet. The wellness spiral. Pilates led to breath work. Breath work led to cold plunging. Cold plunge led to $300 supplement stack.

You haven't joined a cult. You've just found your people. I think I had a lot of bees. What was C? C is the late bloomer creator. Oh. You make things now. Pottery, sourdough, knitted objects.

You loved ones you received as gifts. Sorry. Your loved ones received them as gifts and you're being very polite about it. And they're being very polite about it? Not to read well. Your loved ones received them as gifts and they love it. Oh, well, I gave Mabel those handmade gifts.

I don't think I said, nay, a single C. You're actually pretty like spread. Don't you fucking wink at me, slut. D is the nostalgic. I don't think I'm nostalgic. The future you had promised didn't show up. And so you went back for a time you remember. You've been to Disney as an adult.

You own vinyl. And honestly, it's kind of beautiful. Okay, well, take it back. I think you are because that was like a band you've loved for over a decade. Yeah. That's watching the office for comfort because it's like back on remembering things you loved. Yeah. You do have a few go-to.

movie. Yeah. I do. Yeah. And I think nostalgic is the word rather than like living in the past. It's like, no, just appreciating the stuff. That's fair. And I think when the, the term like in a simpler time, we just think of my childhood

as like, oh, before we had like bills and fucking, you know, we were just doing our thing. Yeah. Tony, how was the spread child before we revealed the most one? Was it a? It was. So like you've got one that your top one's four, but then your second like in order. your second you'd had two on that level. Yeah, okay.

Your highest was the wellness spiral. That's because I look fantastic. Yeah. Which I would have guessed you were going to be the nostalgic or maybe the late bloomer creator. Well. And that's what you tied. Those are your second.

Yeah, sure. Because I think that some of the questions it was like, oh, would you make something or calm down? I'm like, but that like. I'll do all three of those. Yeah. Yeah, like that's kind of how I, the meditation for me is, at the moment, I'm like strapped to my sewing machine. I've been sewing heaps of stuff.

Really? What are you doing? Yeah. Well, I made, I've made like three, you know those bags that I've been making? Those little makeup bags. Oh, yeah. Yeah, I've made like three of those. Really?

And then, um, yesterday actually I, I, um, re-sowed my hens party outfit because it arrived and I was like, I need to take some things up, take some things in, make it a bit shorter, things like that. Shorter. Yes, it was really long. Really? Maybe I'm thinking of something else because you wore something the other day. Yeah, no, that's not the, yeah, that's not shorter. Because I was like, sweet heart. There's no shorter.

Unless you're taking your pants off. Yeah, no, no, no, no, that one's not short. I've seen an outfit and I was like, I can, like, you know, sometimes leaving something to the imagination is nice. Oh, no, no, that was real life. That was. Yeah. And now you're like, oh, yeah, just taking it up a bit. No, no, no, no.

No. Because that was too short that I'm going to buy something else. Yeah, I'm going to buy another dress to sew to the bottom of that dress. To the bottom of that one. Yeah, well, that was one of the plans. But, no. So, yeah, I've just been sewing a lot, which is probably how I'm, like, meditating. I tell you where, like, if this sewing era was during coat, you know how people were getting

real creative making face masks, like different colors and old materials and stuff? Oh, yeah. I feel like if those. I still got that that existed. Yeah, but I feel like if that era clash, that would have been, like, right. Because it's just like, oh, I need, oh, you got a little face mask. I don't use those surgical ones. I make it a fun.

I'm on. I'm watching favourite colour and pattern and I'll whip something up. No, I did the banana bread bar. Yeah. That was good. Oh, yeah. Do you know who made my face mask? Who?

Georgie Young. That's amazing. Yeah. I mean, she's making my wedding dress, but that's cool. Yeah. Guess which one was more expensive? Hi, I'm Alexandra from Fallon, Sweden. I'm Safi from Lonsest in Tasmania.

Hi, I'm Joel from Sydney, Australia. And you're listening to Tony Ryan. So obviously I made a huge... Tony invented a word. I invented a new term just before. Namaslay. Turns out I haven't.

There's quite a number of businesses on the internet. Charles even tried to make me feel better and say, well, how would you spell it? Maybe it is a bit different. No, it was exactly the same. It was namas same. So that's okay. That's all right.

I've still had a good day. I'm still happy about it. Well, we can namaslay together. So fucking true. Nothing means namaslay more than doing it as a community. And feeling excited about it. Yeah, a community of people who have already thought of the same thing. And that's how you know it's a good idea.

Someone else already thought of it. Is it? Yeah, because you go, oh. I've got an idea. Yeah. The internet. Well, that's a great idea. Thank you.

Someone already did it. I thought of it myself. But you know, when you go like, oh, well, it was always such a good idea that someone else had it and they went, let's make this a thing. Beautiful. Yeah. Namaslay. Okay. I've got a few champion type of shout-ups.

I'm not going to let that get it. us down. We're going to continue to namaslay. Steph, good on you, Steph. I think you should tell every one of these to namaslay. I think that's going to get pretty old. I've got about 20 people. Okay. We'll do it. A namestlay to all of these people.

Yeah, and to all the good night. You know what sucks? Tell me. Not a fucking Dyson vacuum. Battery goes flat. That's what I'll fucking say. NAM needs to namestay on charge. It doesn't namestay fucking charge. That's for sure.

Maybe you need to turn down the mode. Because there's... But then they don't suck enough. Then they don't suck. It needs to be on match. Because have you got the thing where it says how many minutes left? It's got the bar on the size. So we've got minutes left.

So it'll be like you've got... But isn't yours an LG or something? Yeah. Yeah. But life necessarily is not good. Interesting. So it'll say you've got 18 minutes of sucking to go. Yeah.

And then I'll pump it up to like extra suck. And it goes, oh, we've only got seven minutes at this level. Oh, you should have said. you know like oh well no yeah and but then you got to play the game of like well how hard do I want to get sucked and how long do I want to suck for

and you got to find some middle ground there but I think on the dice and it only works on Max otherwise you're just pushing the dirt around you might as well just got to bed but do nothing so true namaste in bed okay uh Steph good on you Steph

one of our champion tubbers Namaste Olivia thank you very much Olivia sorry we couldn't sneak you into the top three last week live yeah sorry Liv um Jillian Claire M, good on you Jill. Megan, thank you very much, Megan, Anna T, Bex Birch, Karina Pleaser. Thank you.

Pleaser. Chris Higginson, good on you, Chris. She's hard to Karina Pleaser. Yeah, she's fussy. Abby, good on your Abby. Penny Watson, good on your Penny. See you in London, bitch. Is that who I think it is?

I'm guessing so. Is she a chair for Tapper? Yeah, I think it's Penny. Well, yeah, I think for work. Do you know what I mean? This girl that works for us. This girl. this amazing woman, incredible woman.

We fucking parr enough. She can buy a Patreon subscription. And Brianna Grilke, thank you very much, Brianna. We love to see it. Thank you for being here. And hopefully some of those people are going to be my bridesmaids when we go to London. One thing we said when we announced the Hens party is there wasn't going to be any family drama. And there wasn't going to be any long-held family secrets revealed.

and I certainly hope that's still the case. Well, I think it is a common theme. I certainly hope that's still the case. A common theme across these kinds of events is that drama does ensue. Someone has an argument. We find out that Aunty Sue isn't really your Auntie Sue. She's a mom's best friend, something like that. Yep, your grandma Betty tells you you're adopted and you didn't know yet.

Yeah, you know. You know, and like trouble arises there. There actually, I do have something that I need to share. at the hens night actually and we've got something that I want to show you. My name is Tony Lodge and I've been waiting for this moment my whole life. I grew up in Perth. I was a quiet kid. I didn't have much, you know, but I had this.

So all will be revealed at the hens party. I just have something that I need to share. And with all my bridesmaids who will be there, everybody that attends is one of my bridesmaids. Yep, you'll get a bridesmaid sash. Yep, you get a sash. Will you're wearing now sashes when we find out what the fuck this is? Yes.

Is that good or bad? I don't know. I just need to tell my nearest and dearest, and that includes everybody all the tippers. So you'll find out at the hens party. Hooking your thing. So if you don't have your ticket, you might want to fucking get one because it's going to be juicy.

Juicy? And so will I. Yes. My puss. I just need, like, all my gals around me. I'm here for you. During this time. I'm here for you in your millennial midlife crisis.

I'm here for your hands party. He's kind of that vibe, actually. It's time for Monday Malbac. Monday Malbac. Many people were very thrown. They like that. When Charles said the year he was born. What is it fucking 2012?

2003. Little M, Tarpere M. Little lamb. I could have cried when Charles said the year of his birth. My sons were born the same year he was, so I could actually be his mum. Anna Potts, Gide Pottsie. Hi, Anna.

You mean to say Charles is old enough to be my child? I thought she'd say old enough to be my dad. I was like, I don't think you get it. I don't think he's old enough to be anyone. Because I think we all kind of went, oh, yeah, a bit younger than us. But now we've got, oh, no, he is actually old enough to be our child or of age to be our child. Yeah. Anna Potts, I can't believe it.

And to find this out on a fucking Monday. On a fucking Monday. Yeah, it hits harder, I reckon on a Monday. Tapa Coldfish Jess has a message through. Hi, Tapa Cold Fish, Jess. And said all the chat about deal or no deal. I don't know if it was your. accents, but I kept hearing

deal or no deal and was like... Like pickle or no pickle? Yeah. Yeah. And I just was thinking about deal all week. And then I thought about the big deal, one of the OG tarpers. I know, big deal. I hope you're doing alright, big deal.

I think, yeah, I think big deal's, she's floating around still. Oh, Kemprat 54. Not Kemprat 54. She goes, Tony, my mom also died on a fucking Monday. Oh, horrible way to go. She goes, mums, am I right? Oh, so true. Always dying on a fucking Monday, those moms.

On a fucking Monday. You should watch out on a Monday, mums. You know, I'm just letting you know, be safe on a Monday. Well, the grim reaper. We're shoes in the house. The grim reapers had the weekend off and he's back with a vengeance. Fucking ready to go. The grim reaper.

What a funny thing to say. Isn't it crazy that if someone says the grim, it just, it's so visual. Yeah. Like the second you just, you see the cloak and the thing and the. You know how you had to rush back into the hospital when your mom did pass away? Yeah. Were you quick enough to meet the big band? Yeah.

He was getting in his car as we pulled in. What did he drive? Yeah. Um, you know what? He's worried about resale value. See, you just had a Toyota Corolla. Yeah, they do hold their value. They do.

They do. I'm standing there crying and he goes, should have got the corolla. Yeah. You pull up in a Yaros and he goes, and he goes, oh, nah, that'll, that'll fall. Coincidence chat from Carly Souter. Hi, Carly Souter.

Hardly Noah. My partner and I just did the Simba move the other night. And it was so funny. Then I heard you guys talking about it on the podcast. You mean to tell me my idol knows about this as well? I love Tony Lodge and I love being simbid. You know what? I love that you love getting simbid.

That's great for you. Do we want to remind new friends what that means? Well, we, yet we can. But I just want to remind, well, I want to share with everybody what happened when Ryan brought this up at my house because you saw Torbs. Yeah. Remember, and you briefly described it. And what did Torbs say?

He goes, oh, the sex move. He goes, oh, the Rafiki. The name of the thing, which is... The Rafiki, yeah. Yeah. And I started laughing because obviously how fucking funny that he knew what it was. And I just also said, we've never done that. It's just funny that we both knew what it was.

You don't need to get defensive, sweetheart. I'm just letting you know it's fine. I'd be honest if we had, but I wouldn't do that because it would get in my fringe. So that would be bad news for me. It'd be like something about Mary vibes in the front. Yeah. The sex move is that you come and then you rub the come on your partner's forehead and you go, Simba. Can you please give the voice the...

Symbol. Simba. Does he do that in the film? I don't think so. I don't even... See, I can only watch the movie once. I don't even know. That's genuinely only from sex thing.

So, considering my three-year-old's not on Urban Dictionary, where do you think she got it from? Well, I'm guessing she watched the Lion King. Oh, so true. you know what I mean shout out to Carly Souter thanks Carly and I'm glad that you and your partner did that and you had a fucking sick time

that's awesome like that's awesome I think it was a comedy move not like a sexy move like they both laughed but who cares like it doesn't matter I think like have fun

but it's not like oh I'm so into it's more just like Simba no but we're not yucking you yum if it was in a sexy way literally sly have fun with it you got to have fun um

you know how we were talking about being broken up mid burrito or mid macca's run. Yeah. And we talked about the worst place to get dumped. The worst place to get dumped. Erica Gamut. Hi, Erica. Thanks for sharing what is, you know, a personal story of, I'm guessing, not the funnest time in your life.

Oh, but talking about people's simba, that's fine. Yeah. Soon after my partner said that they wanted to get a divorce in brackets, whole story in itself. fucking hell. We went out for dinner to like talk things over. First of all, that feels crazy. It does.

Maybe about counselling or we're working out some details. Would you go out for that, but I guess if you've moved out of the house, maybe it's like a neutral. Yeah. Maybe, yeah, but that was my first reaction. All I'm thinking of is then the Sprightly server comes over and he's like,

do you folks want small garlic bread? You know, that's the last thing that you'd eat. So because it was, you know, emotional time, they obviously didn't have the biggest appetites necessarily. Yeah. So they didn't finish everything. And so they asked the server if they can like get the boxed up to take away. Sure.

Separate boxes. She comes over. The server goes, was that together or separate? And then Erica blurts out. Well, that's the big question, isn't it? That's actually what we're trying to figure out. That's the $60,000 question at the moment. We got divorced and it was the best thing ever.

Oh, I'll say. Can't say as much for the sad leftovers. Yeah. And then, you know, are you going like, well, who gets the dog? But who gets the rest of my Padmaat Mumwam? Do you know what I mean? Sorry, what was the meal? Padmaut man Wang.

What's? It's like a Chinese thing. Padmao Mut-Mang. They eat it on Kath and Kim and they call it Padmaut-Mung. I don't think that's what's actually called. I don't think it is either. Because there's nothing on a Chinese menu. I haven't tasted and loved.

But you know, like, oh, well, that's got three prawns left in it. I'd like to take that home. Well, I would also. Like, you took your share of prawns already, so I'd like to take that home. How many do you have? Yeah. I had five. Yeah.

Well, you take an extra one. This next one, we're going to act out because Kenneth has said this is actually the worst place to break up with someone. Tony, you're going to be the person. Would you like to get dumped or do the dumping? I'm better. getting dumped. I've had more experience. You're going to get dumped. I will do

the dumping. Of course. And there's actually a third person in this scenario. Charles, you will be the operator of the hot air balloon. Tony, I don't think it's going to work out and I think we should go our separate ways. That was us going up to the air ball. Acting?

Great acting. That was amazing. What? Yeah. Sorry. What do you mean? I just used the coupon from the entertainment book to book this. Yeah, I know, and I appreciate it. And now, but I think this is it for us.

Is there something that I've been doing wrong? No, it's just, we've gone our separate. You know, we've grown up different and... We've got high winds just another 30 minutes before landing. Yeah, thanks. Sorry how? Will we be landing where we parked the car? No, we're 20 minutes down the road because of the high winds.

So then what do we do? You'll have to get an Uber. You'll have to get an Uber. Do you want to split an Uber? How long until we land? 30 minutes. So is there anything that I can do to... Is there anything that I can...

There must be something that I can do or I can work on or do you want to go to counselling? I think we should just enjoy the trip. So Tony, I hear you're single. They start fucking. And the boyfriend's just there like... Yeah. And he's like, you don't mind holding the little thing down to him.

That's amazing. Yeah. what do you think of me now? Who's winning this breakup? And then the hot air balloon guy goes, Simba. And it looks at me and goes, do you ever do this one?

Yeah. And you go, did you see that viral clip where the guy proposes in the hot air balloon? And then she says no. And then they're just in a hot air balloon. High risk.

And like he's invited all over our friends and stuff. And so she's like, oh, no, no. It's like it's too soon. And he goes, yeah, so true. Oh, and you, like, it would be really hard to be honest in that situation as well. Like, you would feel so much pressure to say yes. Honesty time. Honesty time.

Yeah. We're going to be honest during this time. Yeah. Would, I mean, we can answer for ourselves, but would we just say yes just for the moment and then like talk about it? I think I would have to. Yeah. You know. I think I would have to.

I'd be, I'd feel so bad. Mm. And he'd be like, oh, fuck, it's, or just like, for my own next 20 minutes. But then also, when I have a feeling, I'm like, because I'm not a good liar. I'm not a good actor. Like, I feel like if you ask me, I would be like, oh, like, maybe I actually wouldn't be able to, like, lie through that and play the character. I don't think I could.

When Torb said, will you marry me? What was the first thing you said? I told him to fuck off. Yeah. Or get fucked. I don't really remember. Then Pippa just, she would, like, because she never. bark she doesn't make any noise she was like barking at us because we were both just like

huh who-hoo-hoo and she's like something's going on like what's going on we're trying to get engaged pip shut the fuck out but it was just that i yelled and not yelled but i was like fuck off and then it's like sorry that pip up for 30 seconds our attention's not specifically on you i know she's like her mummy and finally some feedback uh from this is feedback not just the malback Oh no, it's mailbag. Okay. Mrs. Kay. Hi, Mrs. Kay.

From Scotland. Special Kay. I love watching your videos. I laugh so hard. My absolute go-to when I'm stoned as fuck. Oh, thanks, Mrs. Kay. Yeah. In the Mrs. Kay hole.

I've been smoking up and I'm just laying on the couch and I'm going to pop some Tony and Ryan on. Mrs. Kay? More like Mrs. Slate. Namas. Mrs. Slay. That's awesome. I'm very glad to be part of that routine.

Yeah. Tony, what do you love to see? I've got a, you love... Oh, Charles. No, I got it. I've got a you love to see it here from Cici.

She sent this through... Cici Babcock? Yes. Sent this through on Patreon. Okay. And she started the fucking blog. Cici says my partner and I have been working since January to get our small business up and running,

so a fair few months. And I'm so happy to say, after a few months of figuring shit out and crashing out. We've launched. We've started with our first drop, which is like beach accessories and cover-ups for like swimwear. So they've got like some netplaces, some bandanas. I love a crochet bandana.

Yeah, it looks so cool. Like a little sarong, which I think is so cute. So if you want to have a look, I mean, Charles has the link open now. If you're watching on YouTube, you can kind of have a sneak peek. But we've got the Instagram info, the TikTok and the web seal it. You've got the web sold it. They look really cool.

Really sick. So that's a tapir and her partner. You love to see it. Thanks for sharing. That's so fucking cool. I've got a message here from Marcia. Hi, Marcia. I want to make a public apology.

Oh. To my dog. Oh, the pet food brand. No, like her dog. Oh. Like she wants to make it. She said, I want to make it a phone.

apology to my dog. Yeah, I think the cadence in which she said, I want to make an apology to my dog. To my dog. You know that fancy pet food? Charles, can you show us my dog? Give me my dog. It's really fancy pet food. That one.

Yeah. Yeah, no, it's not related to them. Yeah. Good for them. They've been a stayer. That's been a brand for a long time. Yeah, if you got a 12 month warranty on that, that would survive that 12 months. 1,000%

That, a little treat, those little small ones, chuck them in the dry food. No, for Bronson. Like a little mix out into the dryer. He's like, oh, I've never bought it before. It's a premium product. Yeah, that's why you just get a little one. Oh.

A little treat. Oh, Christmas or birthday number. Oh, that's good. Fuck, it's his birthday next week. Okay. I want to, let me get my cadences, right. Yeah. I want to publicly apologize to my dog for yelling

at him at 2 a.m in the morning for barking and waking me up. Yeah. He woke up the neighbours. Oh, my. And you're so embarrassed, eh? Turns out they were being burgled. And my dog was at the fence line barking at them. His barking alerted them.

They called the police and nothing was taken. My dog saved the day. And I said to him, pal. The pet food, friend. Yeah. Farmer's choice comes out. And you said, you're a fine pedigree. And that's a super coat.

You can Uber. I hardly know. I'd say that you're in the top prime 100. I don't know any other dog food friends. Like, I'm officially maxed out. That's it. It's amazing. The dog saved the day.

And I want to apologize for yelling at him. For yelling. Yeah. And, oh, well, he's actually. actually been to Aldi, so in the background there. Oh, oh, what a chocolate lab. Yeah. Oh, what a babe.

Yeah. Good job, Inspector Dog. That's actually my dog. That is so funny, and I have lost so much oxygen to laughing at that, that my head is hurting now. So that's good. I think, can you get some oxygen into your face over the next day? I'm going to have to. Day, because tomorrow, forgive me, Tarpers, for I have seen.

a tarpa has done something at a colleague's hens party. Oh. And we're going to need to like the mind map of what went down. Okay. We don't need a piece of paper. Potentially. Okay. Now, but something happens that you're going to be like,

fuck yeah, this is the greatest thing I've ever heard. And then something else happens that you're going to go, nothing pisses me off more. So I don't... And it is easy for me to oscillate between those two things. So we're going to see the full range of lodge tomorrow. Amazing. All right, we'll chat to you then.

Love you so much. Big shout out to all the brands called Namaslay. Big shout out to every dog food brand I've ever heard of. Yep.