Toni and Ryan - Don't Go In The Dental Van
Episode Date: May 11, 2025DID YOU HAVE THE DENTAL VAN AT SCHOOL?!?!?! Love uuuuu xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge ...and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hello and welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.
I'm Tony, this is Ryan, and we never start an episode of our podcast without a tarpa's approval.
Yep, that's Tony and Ryan podcast.
Now, Yuli is a hot California girl.
Hello, Yuli.
But I believe even though you like our Australian podcast,
you hate an Australian animal, true or false?
It's true.
I hate koalas.
Oh, why?
A couple of reasons.
One, they have chlamydia.
Do you hate Tony?
No, but that's a classic Tony. Okay, classic Tony is not having chlamydia, but you know,? No, but that's a classic Tony.
Okay, classic Tony is not having Chlamydia,
but you know, not to yuck anyone's yam,
if you love having Chlamydia, that's up to you.
Anything else?
They have human-like fingerprints,
so they could like frame you for crimes.
And that's when they go crazy with the Chlamydia,
that's what they do.
Yeah. Rampage.
There's fingerprints all over this scene.
They can like frame you for an affair. How'd you get Chlamydia that's what they do yeah rampage just fingerprints all over this scene they can like frame you for an affair how'd you get chlamydia
oh it's from a koala yeah likely story both yeah chlamydia and human
fingerprints they could get away with anything yeah and the third one is
they're nocturnal so whenever I go to the zoo I can't see them so I just gave
up on them but why would you want to see them if you don't like them? What do you want to get, Chlamydia?
No, I want to give them a chance.
Oh, that's nice.
I also have similar beef with platypuses,
because not the Chlamydia thing, the dark thing.
Nocturnal.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But Chlamydia, they're all good.
Yeah.
Uli, are you up for today's episode?
I will. Thank you. Hi, it's approved for today's episode? I will.
Thank you.
Hi, it's Uli from California and I approve this podcast.
Welcome to a brand new week.
Hello. Are we, are we hearing a scandal from you today?
A sca- yeah, actually we fucking are.
Yeah.
And I'm the victim of this.
Of a heinous crime.
And somebody else has been named a- Okay, okay, that's coming up, that's coming
up, that's coming up.
In this case, someone else has been named and I think they're fully innocent.
Oh, is it you?
No. Okay.
Okay. That's coming up soon.
But first, a few weeks ago,
we talked about what was that incident at your school?
Yeah. Like how exciting it was when a dog got in.
Yeah. Yeah.
There were some high stakes ones and there were a few dogs that got in.
Yeah. Yeah.
We had, do you want to hear something crazy?
Did this happen at anyone else's school?
We had a dental van at our school.
Oh, is that a fucking thing?
I don't know about that.
So there was, when you think, when you hear this, it sounds like the beginning of a
fucking series of American Horror Story.
A thinking of Harold.
Yeah.
Does he do teeth now?
No.
So there was a caravan that set up outside of the staff room and you would go to the
dental van and they would do your dental checks and like twice a year they would come and
do like check out all your teeth and stuff and they would just-
What?
Yeah.
And they were in this caravan that was fitted out with a dental, like proper tools and dental chair and stuff.
And it would be like, oh yep, Tony, your time is at 10 a.m.
And so you would waddle over there at 10 o'clock
and like know that it was your time
to go and do your dental check.
It was like a real thing.
And I'm so fucking glad that it wasn't just primary,
Rolystone Primary School that had that.
It might be another one of those things
that WA and Queensland had in common.
No, Lil just said New South Wales.
Yeah.
I don't remember that.
But it was, and it was like a-
Also people in America listening to this podcast
are falling off their fucking brains because-
I know.
Yeah.
Yeah.
The amount of free healthcare we get, like shit like that.
Yeah.
I mean, it's any, I think what threw us all
is you said it was in a van.
I know it is in a van. No, but that's what I'm saying is so freaky. But it just makes it sound so much worse. Yeah. I mean, I think what threw us all is you said it was in a van. I know it is in a van.
No, but that's what I'm saying is so freaky.
But it just makes it sound so much worse.
No, I know.
Can they not just go to a spare classroom
and fucking set up?
But so they would like-
You know what I'm saying?
No, that's why I said, just like stay with me.
But they would like tow the van in or whatever,
and it would be set up there for two weeks.
They'd go through everyone in the school,
and then like they'd come back six months later.
And I remember going in there and it was like, if your time was like after lunch, like you'd have, they'd be like, Oh, I've been a Vegemite sandwich in there.
You know, like it was like, they were really sweet.
I didn't like it, obviously, because no one liked it.
But um, no, it's super fucked.
It's re It's weird. So imagine if someone was doing really great work and what they did was deliver food to children
that didn't have access to...
Yeah, or at a school if they didn't have lunches or something.
Yeah. So now I'm going to change that story.
So there's this guy who drives around in a van.
No, who tows a caravan.
A van. Who tows a caravan around to see kids.
Yeah, no, totally.
You know, it's just a van.
Anyone starting a new business,
because we're about to be in the car wash business.
Yeah.
Our car wash won't be a car wash caravan.
It will be a stationary on the corner.
So true, yeah.
Because vans are not good for marketing.
Yeah, no, and I think it's also just like
the old dingy caravan is just like,
like visually-
And there's a guy in there with gloves on?
No, it was like these two women that did it.
It was like a dentist and like a hygienist
or whatever they are called, like the assistant.
And yeah, they wore gloves.
Like it was fully fitted out like a prop
and it had like the dental chair and the light,
and you wore the sunglasses and everything.
Cool sunnies or just stock?
Nah, the big cancer council ones that you can buy from Coles.
And you put them on, like, what are you, a celebrity?
Yeah, and they're like, oh, who do you think you are?
I'm like, you just gave this to me.
Yeah, you're inside, doll.
I'm six years old.
Don't bully me, please.
Besides people turning up and touching inside your mouth
in a caravan.
What was the incident at your school?
This is from Josephine Mullen.
Hi, Josephine Mullen.
Dental band.
We had a teacher that won the lottery.
That is wild.
Everyone would be talking about that for months.
Huge news.
When the money landed. So she goes, I think I've won. And everyone's
like, holy fuck, that's crazy, miss. Like that's insane. What are you going to do? So
I haven't really thought about it. But you know, you've got to cash that out. Like don't
do any dumb shit until that money hits your account. Cause you don't want to go burn bridges
and then there's a fucking hold up at the IRS or whatever.
Yep. All you haven't actually won.
Yeah. You got scammed like you do when you do detached. When I do my taxes. That was not fair chat. But yeah. When the money landed, she quit
her job and left her husband the same day, moved abroad and literally no one ever saw her ever again.
Hot. Isn't that hot girl behavior like you've never fucking heard before? Well, I guess you go,
if that's the only thing holding you back and you go, wow, all these opportunities have just opened up for me,
I'm gonna sell my dental van and I'm moving abroad.
We're getting three grand for that, two mil for the win.
That old fucking piece of shit at home, he can stay there.
He can have it.
He's an asshole, I don't give a fuck.
This job sucks, kids are awful,
I'm moving to the south of France
and I'm gonna sip coffees and do fuck all.
Was that a mild Clooney?
She's now married to George Clooney. Yeah. And then did
a Lauder grain became a Marl Clooney. So that is amazing. I can not. That's awesome. But you imagine
if she stayed at the school, you imagine the goss all the time. Oh, new shoes, Caroline. Yeah. Well,
I guess that wind's treating you well, isn't it? You know, like, oh, Caroline comes drives in with a brand new
Toyota Camry, you know, gold, gold. And then everyone's like, Oh, sprung for the
gold. Did you, Caroline? Yeah. Well, I guess you did win all that money.
Didn't you? You've never given into the school. You don't even come to the busy
days on the weekend.
Could you imagine the back chat?
Yes, that's what I'm saying. Schools are awful places. But also I just think all of the parents,
there would just be so much gossip about you.
Yeah, and so she fucked off.
I love that.
Never heard of again.
I love that.
I can't believe she even told anyone she'd won.
Just one day she wasn't there.
But remember what happened last time we did this segment?
They had a protest to bring that teacher back
and the kids thought, assumed he'd been fired
and he just retired.
Yeah, but they got to sit on the oval all day.
It's a great day.
Pretty good.
Yeah.
Lainey Kelton.
Hi Lainey.
One of our teachers took a semester off and she came back looking 20 years younger.
Beautiful new face, big perky and new boobs.
And you can imagine us 15-
Not the boobs, but just like awesome. Lainey goes, you can imagine us 15 boobs but just like awesome bit
Laney goes you can imagine us 15 year old girls oh yeah she's come back with
these huge boobs is big and all the girls are like oh my god and all the
boys are there yeah but the girls like miss tell us everything yeah because how
do I get that this is crazy yeah what Yeah. What'd you do? What happened? Did it hurt?
How long did it take?
We wanna know everything.
Yeah.
Especially if you're a cool teacher.
Now the incident wasn't the surgery.
The incident was what she said.
The teacher?
Yeah.
This is what got people revved up decades later.
They're still talking about this.
Yeah.
She goes, oh no, no.
It was just the rest and relaxation.
I've just been drinking heaps of water.
She goes, they go, oh, Miss, you look a bit different, you know?
And she goes-
Or even like, oh, you look fantastic.
You know that vibe?
She said it was just the rest and relaxation.
We said it was the facelift and the boob job.
Own it either way.
Yeah. But everyone's like, remember when she tried to claim, like the claim was the facelift and the boob job. Own it either way. Yeah.
But everyone's like, remember when she tried to claim, like the claim was the incident.
Oh, was it?
Oh, just a bit of rest and your boobs just doubled in size and perked up?
She goes, no, I was just seeing clients in Sydney.
I've just had some rest.
Well, yeah, we have Tony and I have seen that happen actually.
I think that was implied. Yeah, yeah, no, but Tony and I have seen that happen actually. I think that was implied.
Yeah, yeah, no, but it just took me a while to...
Shannon Lee Street.
Now this, I just read the messages.
Sometimes you don't even do that.
Allegedly, allegedly, allegedly.
Love it.
We used to joke that the IT teacher in my high school here in Wales was a drug dealer
because he had a really fancy Rolex and a really nice car and he was on a teacher's
wage. So all the kids were like, he's probably selling drugs on the side.
I think it's the guy too, isn't it?
Yeah, it turns out he was.
So years later, it turns out our joke were real and he was arrested for making illegal
substances. The local news here called him Welsh Breaking Bad.
And I was like, is that Mr. So-and-so?
And everyone was like, I think it is.
Oh my God.
How fucking crazy.
Also, if you're a fucking drug dealer on the side,
you're not rocking into your fucking public school job
with a fucking Rolex in your really
nice slick car.
You know, get out of your Porsche wearing your Rolex and all of that and you're like,
no, no, no, like I'm just a teacher.
She's been saving up, invested well.
Yeah.
My wife's got a great job.
Yeah.
Or my dad, you know, died and left me heaps of money.
I was like, you know, like not quite.
So they were making all these jokes the whole time and he was like, oh, they're your kids,
you know, and he bet he was.
Do you know what's amazing though that he never tried to sell drugs to those kids? That's
beautiful. Until he did and got caught, so.
But not the kids at school, because that would be an easy, you know, a lot of FaceTime with
customers. You know what I mean? Yeah.
Like that would be the perfect opportunity.
Like you're looking for a crowd to sell to, there they are.
You seem to know a bit about this.
No, but like when you're thinking about selling something,
it's like you got to get eyes on your product
and that's the whole thing.
Did you disagree?
No, I'm just, you just were very quick to,
I'll be aware of that.
I just marketing, yeah.
It's like with this podcast, the more people that see it, the better we can come across.
Are you making any other?
Sorry.
On the side.
Pull my cardigan down over my Rolex.
Your partner works in IT and bought that engagement ring.
Oh, wow.
In that car.
Fuck off.
So to stream in his house.
Yeah.
Like please.
Hey, it's you from California. Soda stream in his house. Yeah. Log. Please story.
Hey, it's you from California.
You're listening to Tony and Ryan.
A massive shout out on this beautiful Monday to a few of our champion tapas at our Patreon.
Samantha Jago, good on you Samantha.
Steph D, Nick Vanden Vonder, Sam Haber, Roland and Thelisse.
Roland and Thelisse, you gotta get your shit together.
Cindy Gatcliffe, for some reason looking at that name reminds me of the word giraffe.
Gatcliffe? Cindy Gatcliffe. It's the me of the word giraffe. Gatcliffe?
Cindy Gatcliffe.
It's the shape of the word.
Yep.
Yeah.
Are you also looking at those names going, these are all the people I can sell drugs
to?
Just asking.
And Flynn the Bin.
Flynn the Bin?
Yeah.
I think Ed would buy some.
I've never met someone with Bin in their name that's known to drugs.
Well I think it's like a joke name like Flynn the Bin.
Like, I don't think that's like Christian name,
which makes it even easier to buy drugs.
So true. Yeah, because he's got a he's rolling with what's the word?
Homies.
He's rolling with the homies.
Now,
what's the fucking word?
Not pseudonym.
Oh, someone knows a lot about drugs.
What's that like rolling with a, not proxy.
Like a-
What are you talking about?
Like a fake name, alias.
Oh God.
Oh, that was not worth it.
That was not worth it.
Jessica Alba and start again.
No, who was that?
Jennifer Garner.
Jennifer Garner. Jennifer Garner!
Fuck, shame.
Oh, speaking of crimes though,
one has happened in our house and it's not good.
Two people have been named in the case of
the missing blue cardigan.
The missing blue cardigan?
Yeah.
Do you need me to get my detective's hat?
Well, I think that maybe we do because
you've been brought into this.
What?
I know.
I was just as shocked as you are.
Hang on, hang on, hang on.
A blue cardigan's disappeared and I've been blamed.
Let me explain and paint the picture.
Do I need to get a lawyer before I say anything else?
What I will say is that maybe you don't need a lawyer, but the two of us do.
I don't share lawyers.
Okay, but I say a lot of answers for the for the bit.
Like we're doing a bit awesome if you just supported us.
I'm being accused of a fucking crime, dude.
Me too. I don't think that you understand that I'm on your side.
I'm a lawyer. Let me explain to you exactly what's happened.
Sure.
So my partner Torb's absolutely beautiful boy.
I love him so much.
No, I'm off him.
No.
Well, I don't know what's about to happen, but.
So he loves a cardigan, both of us actually,
I'm wearing a cardigan right now.
Yep.
But he loves a cardigan and he has this one blue cardigan
that is his absolute favorite.
I bought it for him from an op shop like when we lived in Bumbri.
Was it a vintage store or an op shop?
It was an op shop.
Okay.
And it's like eight years ago, I bought this cardigan and it is just like a big chunky blue
wool knit. It's like long. It's really oversized and it's really really cozy.
Yeah.
And...
It's like, it's like worn in.
It is.
Like it's his.
Yeah, and because when you buy stuff from the upshop it's already kind of like...
Yeah.
Worn, like and it's actually from Woolworths from back in the day when Woolworths was like...
A cardigan seller?
Like wool, actual wool products.
Is that where that name's from?
I think so.
I thought it was a shortened version of Big Woolworths.
Well, that does add up, doesn't it?
But as far as I know, it's because Woolworths, or maybe it was of the same name, but there
was like a wool product.
Like a classic.
But it's like, not the same.
But it's a real old shop,
like doesn't exist anymore or does.
Anyway though.
It's such a big claim.
Yeah. And I just thought we'll go with it.
And we all did.
Yeah. Well, Charlie, I would suggest stop Googling
and just let Tony tell her story.
Or is there something you'd like to share?
No. Okay.
But it's like-
An old school, beautiful classic.
Like it's obviously old.
Like it's an old fucking cardigan.
Anyway, and it's in like, it's in really good nick and it is so comfy.
It's his absolute favourite and we can't find it.
And the other day, like out of nowhere, Torbz goes, have you seen my blue cardigan?
And I was like, oh, no, not for a while actually.
And he goes, oh, fuck, okay.
Like that's weird.
And he looked through his wardrobe.
He goes, I've looked through my wardrobe.
I can't find it.
I go through my wardrobe and I look, cause I've got all of my cardigans and
nits and stuff like in one spot in my wardrobe.
And I look in there, I'm like, oh no.
I look through my entire wardrobe, right at the back,
see if it's tucked in anywhere.
I'm like, fuck, I don't have it.
And he was like, oh, that's really weird.
I'm sure it'll turn up.
And then I was like, when was the last time,
like do you remember the last time you wore it?
And he was like, oh, actually, no, I don't. Do you remember the last time you wore it and he was like oh actually no I don't do
you remember the last time you wore it and I was like I haven't worn it in ages funnily enough I
actually only wear it to like the dentist because you can like snuggle up into it it's really cozy
so it feels like or to the cinema or something so like you kind of a blanket but you feel like you
can like snuggle in. Was the dentist in a caravan? No, no, no.
You can't go to that after you've left primary school.
And so he's like trying to establish a timeline, right?
He's like trying to figure out all this stuff.
And I was like, maybe if you haven't seen it since we moved just over a year ago, a
year and a half ago, has it ended up in like the linen cupboard or something?
In some box.
Yeah.
I cleaned out the linen cupboard, it's not in there.
Anyway, he goes, did you take it to work?
Like have you worn it to work and left it at the office?
And I was like, no, I haven't worn it to work,
I've never worn it to work.
And he was like, well, where is it then?
And he starts getting really nasty.
You know what's fucked up?
And this is the same as when I grew up,
I just grew up, it was just me and mum, the two of us.
When you live just with one other person,
there's this like, well, if I didn't do it,
it must have been you.
Like all signs point to this.
If it wasn't me, it has to be you.
And it's just fucking bullshit.
It's absolute garbage.
Obviously lots of times it is my fault,
but then sometimes it's not.
Well, and then so I go, no, I definitely haven't wanted it to work.
And he goes, well, I don't know where it is.
Oh, you know how I said I was off tobs earlier?
Yeah.
This is why.
Yeah.
And that's totally fair.
Cause same.
And he goes, you've obviously wanted to work and left it there.
And I was like, I fucking promised you I'd like, I haven't wanted to work.
And he goes, I'll see.
He starts scrolling through my Instagram.
If you've wanted to work, we'll see.
If I've wanted in a video.
Have you?
No.
Imagine you were last week.
He gets to the very bottom of the feed.
Yeah. Jesus Christ.
Oh yeah, he took him fucking, we were lying in bed.
Do you watch a little bit of each video?
Yeah, yeah.
He's killing our attention.
Got the attention. Fuck.
Anyway, he's scrolling through and he's and I was like,
did I wear it anywhere there?
And he goes, no.
And I was like, I think you owe me an apology.
Yeah. And he was like, well, I'm sorry.
Ryan must have it.
What the fuck?
Does this motherfucker have any sense
of taking responsibility for his own stuff?
I'm a guy who loses shit all the time,
but I never blame other people for being losing shit.
But also he came out of nowhere.
I was like, why the fuck would Ryan have your shit
old cardigan that isn't from Woolworths the supermarket?
Yeah. They used to make wool tops. Yeah, but I was just like, bro. And I also, I'm not a cardigan guy,
but I fully was like- Never worn a cardigan in my life. I'm literally, like I came to your defense,
so- Thank you. And I was like, why the fuck would Ryan have your cardigan? Like you need to- Yeah,
what did he say to that? You take a chill pill, I reckon. Like I think you've gotten a bit big for
your boots since you started this investigation. Did you try You take a chill pill, I reckon. Like I think you've gotten a bit big for your boots
since you started this investigation.
Did you try selling the chill pill?
No.
But he's just like, well, if I don't have it
and you don't have it, like Ryan must have it.
What the fuck?
As if that's the automatic like-
Did he question Pippa?
Don't think he's talked to Pippa about it.
Anyway, so he's like fully on one about this thing.
And I was like, bro, I don't have your cardigan.
It's not at the office.
Like I was like, you're welcome to go and look at the office,
but I'm telling you, it's not there.
I have not worn it.
Please bring him down here.
Well, there's actually been a development.
Oh.
This morning, as I was leaving for work,
Torb's walks out of our bedroom,
wearing the blue cardigan.
It was on him the whole time.
Has he been wearing it for the last year?
And I went,
Wow.
Wow.
Jeff, something that you'd like to say to me?
Sorry to share bud.
And he goes-
Any apologies to deliver?
Sorry. I was like, what? He was
like, sorry? I was like, where was it? Where was that blue cardigan? Where was it? In his
fucking wardrobe. Fuck off Torbz. The engagement's off. I have cleaned out the entire house, my
own wardrobe, thinking I'd accidentally stolen this fucking cardigan. I was like, it's definitely not like I've, and then I was like, I messaged Libby
being like, have I worn it there and left it behind? Like taking it off? Is she a dentist?
Is she involved somehow? Um, yeah, but you got called into questioning before anyone else.
Wow. And I was in the fucking cupboard the whole time.
And so I already like, I was going to tell you about how you've been brought into this.
Thank you.
And thanks for defending my character.
Yeah, and I did to the death.
And I'm not even kidding, as I was leaving the house today,
he walks out with that fucking cardigan on.
That's brave of him to wear that.
Okay, okay.
Oh, I'd burn it.
I'm off him?
Yeah.
If that was me and I found it,
I would bury it at the bottom of the ocean.
Yeah.
Or you'd be like,
oh, look what Ryan dropped off while you're at work.
Oh, next time I lose,
I hope I lose something soon.
Yeah.
So you can be like, oh, can I just,
hey, Torb, just giving you a call to see
if you've taken my budget smugglers
out of my fucking car or something.
You often have bathers in your car.
It's a random, yeah.
But it's true.
Yeah.
So you haven't borrowed my underwear, have you?
Oh, it's bathers.
That's all good.
Yeah, I guess so.
Yeah.
I actually can't wait to lose something.
So that you can call him and be like, oh, just wondering if you've got-
What's something I've lost recently?
Do you reckon he's got my wedding ring?
He wanted to just see how it felt.
Yeah.
He's I'm just trying it on, literally trying it on the size. If I called him now, A, would he answer and B, what would he say?
If I asked him.
He might answer, you can call him.
And if I go, hey, where's my wedding ring?
Ask him where your house keys are, your old house keys.
Ask him where his blue cardigan is and if he found it yet.
Ask him where Tony's charger is.
He knows what it's about.
He fucking would too.
Did they have a voice mail?
Yeah, he goes, hi, this is Alex.
Hi, this is Alex.
Oh, you're fine.
Leave your name and number.
Oh.
Please leave a detailed message after the time.
When you have finished recording,
you may hang up or press one for more options.
Hi, Alex Toblerone.
This is Ryan.
You may know me from working with your soon to be wife.
Just a quick question.
Speaking of wives,
I haven't seen my wedding ring since Rachel's wedding,
which was two years ago.
And just a quick question, where the fuck is it?
Yeah, cause you must have it.
I don't know where it is.
So where the fuck did you put it? It's missing. So obviously you must have it. I don't know where it is, so where the fuck did you put it?
It's missing, so obviously you fucking have it.
Just let me know, sweetie.
Thank you.
Love you.
Yeah, and we'll update everybody on that.
I saw pass possible.
I got a love to say it here.
It is from Tapa Kevin Parker.
Hi, Kevin Parker.
Who is doing God's work.
Good on you, Kev.
Kevin said, I had a shitty job I hated,
but now I have a job I love and you love to see it.
My new job is delivering supplies to car washes.
That is amazing.
So everyone- The rainbow,
like the detergent.
Yeah, the chemicals and stuff,
and the special chemical gear and whatnot.
Amazing.
So everyone loving going through car washes
in Jersey, New York and Connecticut,
you are fucking welcome.
Fuck yeah.
You're enjoying the fruits of TARPA Kevin Parker's labor.
Oh.
We should get a car wash this week.
We don't have a car.
That's amazing.
Well, we should get a car wash.
Yes.
We'll take an Uber through.
Yeah. Can you do that? Do you reckon they would? Surely if we said- Yeah, we should get a car wash. Yes. We'll take an Uber through. Yeah.
Can you do that?
Do you reckon they would?
Surely if we said, we'll pay for it.
Yeah. I've got 12 bucks.
I'm good for it.
Yeah. 12 bucks though in New York.
I mean, what's that?
75 Australian dollars.
Yeah. The dollar is not strong.
Anyway.
Okay. But Kev, congrats on the new job.
You are doing God's work.
And thanks for doing God's work.
That's awesome.
I've got your love to see it here.
And for anybody North side, shout out.
And actually I would travel from the South side
to the North side for this.
I'd go on the fucking West gate bridge to get to this.
Why you wouldn't?
Cause that's not the direction you would need to head.
The East gate.
I've been to the most incredible chemist warehouse
over the weekend. And I just, I just have to share about it chemist warehouse over the weekend.
And I just have to share about it.
You guys, I have no idea.
Like I'm closing my eyes at night
and I'm seeing this chemist warehouse.
That's how fucking nice it was.
It's in Laylaw, shout out.
Shout out.
I walked into this chemist.
North of the ring road?
I don't know what that means.
Well, there's a ring road and is it on the north of that? No. Okay. How do you tell? So there's a ring road? Yeah. And if it's to the north of it,
it would be? It might be north of the entrance to get onto the ring road. Is that what that means?
Unless it's in between the entrance to the ring road and the ring road itself. Yeah. Then probably, yeah. I think it is. Okay. It's parallel to the ring road. That'll be on the ring road.
It's on the ring road. I don't fucking know. Anyway, this chemist's warehouse is what dreams
are fucking made of. Yeah. Why is it so good? So I just walk in there, the aisles so nice and wide, but let me tell you the pièce de résistance
of this chemist's warehouse.
Every single shelf has a little LED light underneath it
so you can, it's everything is super well lit.
That's incredible.
Every single shelf and fully stocked.
So I'm so surprised I'm falling off my chair.
I fallen off my chair.
I almost fall off my chair.
I know it's only May and I know it's going to be May.
And I know we don't do a like MVP of the year.
I think LED lights are having a moment.
Oh, sure.
What do you think I was gonna say?
Probably the chemist warehouse that we're.
Oh no, you know I'm in for chemists.
But I'm just saying the chemist warehouse
has been an important part of my life for years.
But LEDs are just having a moment
because of the convenience for years. Yeah. But LEDs are just having a moment because of the convenience.
Yeah.
Yes.
You sound like you don't, you're anti LED.
Well, I don't think that they're having a moment.
I think we should let you do the cloudy thing up on the roof.
Well, it's never cloudy if now LED is on.
No, you put LEDs and then like you put the fabric over the LEDs.
I think they're having a real thing right now. He now. I think he's taking the piss out of you.
Oh.
I think that you're right though.
LEDs are everywhere because several years ago people installed them.
Yeah.
And now they are everywhere because everyone's talking about them.
Everyone's using them.
You're right.
I'm having a moment.
You're right.
Our doorbells.
Is it Mr. LED? Is it Having a moment. You're right. A doorbell.
Is it Mr. L?
Is it big LED?
A doorbell.
The chemist warehouse guys come down here and he goes, it's above the ring road.
Yeah.
All right.
Now tell me, I know you've mentioned the width of the aisle, but that is a, could you?
Because my point of reference for a wide chemist warehouse aisle is the Northland
chemist warehouse.
Oh my God, mate.
You won't even know yourself.
Yeah, because you honestly, you won't even know yourself.
Can you have two outs?
Because chemists warehouse, sometimes they can fuck you right up.
Remember that one in Richmond that was like-
Yeah, that's pokey.
That's like offensive to fat people.
The one near me, the Preston one on High Street.
Yeah.
Nothing on this little one.
I reckon you could do two outstretched hands
and a person and then, yeah.
Could I drive a Jimny down the aisle?
100%, easily, easily golf cartable.
I actually went up to someone that worked there and said,
this is the nicest chemist's warehouse I have ever been in.
And they said, thanks, it's really new.
And they were just so, so chuffed
that I had acknowledged it.
Absolutely.
Yep.
And then I got my flu jab and then it was like,
I couldn't even feel it.
Like it was just, it was honestly just the most
wonderful experience I've ever had.
And I just wanted to shout out to Chemistwarehouse Lailaw.
If you're looking for a new local, that's the one I would suggest no matter how close it is to you.
I think I am looking for a new local.
And I think I am looking for a flu shot.
Yes.
Should we go to...
Recommend both.
Should we go today?
We can go both.
Because we need to top up the Glucajals.
Yes.
That's a great excuse to go to a Chemist's warehouse. Not that you need one.
Why pay more?
So true.
So like, you get the flu jab.
They've worked this out.
I get the flu jab and they go, oh,
hang around in the store for five or 10 minutes.
So that like, just to make sure you're all good
and like feeling, like not feeling woozy or anything.
Lightheaded, yeah.
I spent $150.
How can you buy that?
It's so cheap.
I had an arm full of stuff.
Did you get GlucaGel?
I didn't buy any GlucaGels,
but I did buy some little travel sized things
to take to America.
Such as?
Like a Sarave face wash,
but in this little version,
some Sarave hand cream, little version.
Should we do a little face mask night?
Yes.
That'd be cute.
Absolutely.
I can bring some.
That actually sounds so fun.
Yep.
And then, oh, we could do that during the day
when we're getting ready.
Yeah, let's do it.
Yeah, I love that.
Yeah, so like that kind of, I'll have to go back.
Oh no. Hang on, who'll have to go back, I'll have to go back. Oh no.
Hang on, who'll have to go back?
We will have to go back.
What else did I buy?
Bobby pins, hair lackeys, some silk scrunchies,
some tea gel shampoo.
I also bought a new toothbrush to take with me
a tiny little toothpaste.
I bought some Band-Aids.
I bought a lipstick. I bought an eyeliner. I bought,
this is just like honestly the value. Why pay more? Bought some Q-tips like a big 150 thing
and I bought, oh and they gave me a little sample of a perfume as well. That's nice touch. Yeah.
That's a nice touch. Yeah.
All 450 bucks. Yes!
I think I live at Laylaw now.
How good? Why Laylaw?
Very funny.
I think that they should start a membership program, though,
because I would pop out on points at Chemist's Warehouse.
No, but Chemist's Warehouse is for everyone, not just members.
No, no, no, absolutely.
It's not an exclusive club, it's a club for everyone.
No, no, no, and I appreciate that, but like at BCF, you don't have to be a member to shop
there, but I mean, if you get the points, like how good.
So I'm just saying about the positives about BCF, they could transfer over to a Chemist's
Warehouse because if I was getting points every time I have to stand there for 10 minutes,
then I mean, imagine what I'd be swimming in points.
I'd probably buy a house.
In Chemist's Warehouse. Do real estate accept Chemist's Warehouse friends? They do.
I've just actually, that's just come through. That's great. Before we finish up today, two things. First of all
Wednesday's episode will be recorded straight after the webbies, straight after
it so I don't know how we'll be traveling but that's what you'll hear
Wednesday. Yep. Second thing to tidy up, Charles, what is Woolworths?
Yeah.
Oh, okay.
So I asked ChatGP team, my new friend, did Woolworths used to sell wool?
And it said no, Woolworths never sold wool as a primary product despite the name.
And the name Woolilworths was chosen in 1924 when the first store opened in Sydney.
There you go.
Yeah.
Something to do with the American retail chain
but the two businesses were never connected.
Oh.
That's, I wonder, I'm going to get to the bottom of this.
I think we have.
No, because it's obviously a different brand, right?
But Woolwurst do sell like some clothes,
like you know the socks and undies?
Yeah.
No, I know, but it's not like...
Like it's a few rebrands ago?
But it isn't like that brand because normally when you buy clothes at Woolworths or Coles or whatever, it's like a Coles brand.
It's not, doesn't say Coles on there.
Like an Anko.
Yeah. So like at Coles,
the clothing thing used to be called Mix.
Right.
So, and like Kmart is Anko,
so it wouldn't say Woolworths on the thing.
I wanna, I'm gonna figure this,
I'll take a picture of the label
and someone might recognize it.
And I'll be able to take a picture of the label
because we have found the cardigan.
If, Tadjibi just said, if it looks vintage, it could be from the UK Woolworths chain.
Oh.
Woolworths UK was known for affordable everyday fashion and variety items until it closed
in 2009.
Oh my bloody god, it's from across the pond.
2009.
Good accent.
Oh, great.
Love that.
Thanks everyone.
What a journey. We live, laugh and learn. Love you. Good accent. Oh great! Love that!
Thanks everyone!
What a journey! We live, laugh and learn. Love you!
Bye!