Toni and Ryan - Don't Have A One Night Stand On Christmas Eve

Episode Date: January 13, 2026

Cocktail chat - Fucking on Christmas - Top baby names- love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I met a guy at the Alpham pub on Christmas Eve and went back to his place. Christmas Eve. Stayed the night, which meant I woke up at his house on Christmas morning. That is debilical. He dropped me home in the morning and we were cute texting during the day. In the Arvo, he was like, I had less than 24 hours after meeting him. I cannot believe someone would do that. Hi, my name's Liv from Melbourne, Australia.

This is Lila from Tazzy. I'm Bethan from Cardiff and Wales. And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. If you're an OJ Tarpa, welcome back. Welcome back. Welcome in. Come on in.

Let's be friends. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. The water is fine. The water is fine. If you have to be professional at work and, you know, be serious. Yeah.

Or if you have to be civilized around your family, you actually don't have to do that here. You can just be yourself. take a load off, relax, 30 minute brain break every day. Let your hair down. Let your hair down. Is that on you? Let your hair down. I'd have to grow my hair a bit more. No, you've let it down. It's already down. Yeah. Mabel said that I can't use the brush because my hair's not long enough. That's my two-year-old daughter. I was like, doing a brush dad's hair? She's like, no, your head's not long enough. And I was like, oh, okay. Oh, so she's a bully. Well, since she found out that her trip to Fiji is, yeah, how she'd she take that last time when you got home? Okay. No, that's all.

good. I believe. We'll take her another day. I am because we have announced we are going to Fiji and we'll have our round one winner coming up. Podcast away. Yeah. I'd love to hear some,

a bit of volume for the pun of the name I feel. So true. Because I think that we talked about how great Fiji is. I'm like, are we talking about podcast away? Because it's a great name. It is a great name. Yeah.

I'm really happy with that. Well, round one, their first invitation will be offered today. Today. You'll hear their reaction. Don't want to give any spoilers. But you wanted to comment on my drinking outfit? I absolutely love the shirt.

Did you get that in Mexico when you were there? No, I found. Or is that from the dollar being at the, um, there was a sat on at the train station? Nah, at, um, at, um, Maya, they had a, like out the front, like a, I thought you must have gotten it in Mexico. Well, it's got that energy. And I think when I was in Mexico, I was like, this is my spiritual home. It's a beautiful shirt.

I love the colors. But doesn't it just, well, can you describe it for people listening? Yeah. people that aren't watching on YouTube, it's got like kind of hand drawn vibe, like sketch outlines. It's got pineapples, limes, tacos, tequila. There's like little drinks. Like there's a margarita.

There's like a daquery. There's a cactus. Yeah, it's just really colourful. It's so beautiful. But doesn't it just? Is that Mary? Is that Queen? Not Queen Mary because that's not.

not the same thing. Is that Mary? Mary Magdalene. She's in blue. I feel like that's Mary. Yeah, potentially. I think what this shirt says is, religion.

Is I'm not driving home from wherever we're at. No. So true. It's like a drinking shirt. Oh yeah. There's Kaluar in that ice coffee that you got over there. Is there? Fuck, wouldn't you?

I'd go back today. Oh, can I tell you guys a hack? As a non-drinker for the most part, I, fuck, feel like I would. I made a batch of espresso martini. and put it in a bottle and put it in the freezer for a few hours. Oh yeah? Then poured it over, like, so we could all have like a real cold one over the... That is good.

I've got into batch cocktail making. Batch cocktail making is a real game changer. You know what I've done as a batch before, like a batch of martini? Yeah. And you just do it in a picture and then everybody can pick their garnish. Some people like lemon, some people like orange, you know. I just discovered what a martini is. And it's just a straight moves.

Oh, it's rocket fuel. Yeah. Yeah. I was like, I assumed it was all this stuff. It's like, nah, just like rocket fuel and throw a fucking olive in it and call it a day. And you have to work to like them. You got to work up to, yeah. Like you don't like them straight away.

I remember turning 18 and ordering a martini out and being like, well, no. Yeah. I've only ever drunk a vodka cruiser before. That's not for me. That's a big girl's drink. There's seven steps between these two. Oh, yeah. You really have to ease in.

You got a lubey. yourself up. But I like him now, but I'd only have one because they fucking send me to the moon. So my mate Andy, his goal for the year is to get really good at three drinks. Like drinking them or making them? Making them. He's like, I've never been a cocktail guy, but by the end of the year there'll be three drinks that I just nail those three. Fuck yeah.

And then his partner, Rach is like, I want to learn to like a martini. You've got to work up to her. Yeah. And it's got to take a year. And it will. And it will. It might take longer than that. Yeah.

It took me about 15. 15 years. It takes a long time. Okay. And now I like a dirty martini, which has the olive brine in it. That's how I like it. Apparently they put a little like the juice from the jar. Is that a thing?

That's what the olive brine is. That's what I just said. What does brine? Is that what Brian means? Brian is the juice from the... I don't know. I thought... I didn't know.

I didn't know that's what was called brine. Yeah. I assumed, now I'm about to explain what grapes are and in my brain. And they thought they were olives. No, no, no. Yeah, laid on me. So imagine a bunch of grapes. I'm imagining it.

I'm imagining that's how olives are grown. No. So my first mistake. Yeah. That's an olive tree almost. It's bamboo. It's fake. Olive tree behind Charles over there.

So. Like you can see it in real life. You know when you take grapes off? What do you call the little spindly, the sticky thing? Like a vine? Yeah. Maybe it's because it rhymes with brine. I assumed that like,

the brine was like the sticky bit that's from the olive and you'd like put that in. Fair. Because when you said, I don't include the brook. Because it. Well, you think I put a stick in it? Well, like it'd be fragrant. Do you know that I thought a fig was a twig?

And I thought that that was a vine. Do you remember vine? I think so many times coming back. Yeah, I sure hope it does. It's been threatened and it's coming back. Oh, no, it is back. It is back. Yeah, it's now, but I think it's called like Devine or something.

something now, but like the original like persons brought it back and like the big creators are back on it. Well, the last person that told me they were divine, they de weren't. So I'm not going to fucking fall for that again. But dirty martini with the, yeah, the olive juice, the brine in it. Very new year. Very good. Now, if you're new here, Tony is on the record in saying it should be illegal to have sex on

Christmas day. No, no, no, no. I just think that it's the naughtiest and sexiest thing that you can do. So on that I don't, I think you should be allowed to. I just feel like having sex on Christmas is like, because it's like the family day, you know? Yeah. It's just naughty.

It's real naughty. How, what, don't you reckon? How was your Christmas Day last year? I was sick as a dog. Yep. I booked an emergency flight home from Bali. Great. Yeah.

So. So I got it in. Nah. No, I didn't. I didn't. Um, we were with, Tobs and I were both so sick in Bali. We emergency flew home.

How was your Christmas day? Your wife was sick. She was. Yeah. Super sick. She stayed home and Mabel and I went out and did family stuff. Did you go? Bridget's sick, so we'll stay home.

Like, you know what I mean? No, I think part of me going out was taking the toddler out of the house. Yeah, okay, so she could have some alone time and just sleep. Just be sick. yeah sleep watch TV don't have to

because two-year-old oh mum's sick leave her alone no no yeah and it's her favourite person of course she wants to hang out

with her mum second favourite person thank you she wants to hang out with her mum top two top three maybe BJ

she loves BJ yeah well I always go like I'll have Mabel and be like who does daddy love expecting her to go me and she goes

BJ she's right and thank God she understands the hierarchy in home so yeah Yay or nay on the sex on Christmas. That was a no from me, this year.

Charles? I was with 30 family on a farm in regional New South Wales. So no. So answer the quick. Okay. Still. Yeah. I was just with family.

Someone brings their best friend along, you know? Betts rough. So Tapa Lailina. Lelina. Lelina has sent through a message on Patreon over Christmas. And because of previous conversations, this is... Sex on Christmas, I think, is... It's crazy to have with your partner, let alone not your partner.

I met a guy at the Alpham pub on Christmas Eve. Shut old! And went back to his place. Christmas Eve. Stayed the night, which meant I woke up at his house on Christmas morning. That is debilical. I cannot believe someone would do that. Like a gentleman, he dropped me home in the morning and we were cute texting during the day.

On Christmas Day, you don't have your phone on your Christmas Day. In the Arvo, he was like, want to come back over for dinner tonight? I had Christmas dinner with his family less than 24 hours after meeting him. When you know, you know. And she knew she was going to get railed again. That is. And she went. I did it.

Yeah. I mean, there are so many parts of the story where I'm like, and then obviously that didn't happen. Oh, like, well, and obviously she said no. Or obviously, you know, like, I just think, well, hooking up with someone on Christmas Eve, crazy. That's like a Hallmark Christmas movie. That's absolutely insane. So one of the biggest party nights of the year that's like,

doesn't get the respect it deserves is Christmas Eve. No. Because there's a lot of people who are like, I go back to my hometown for Christmas. Oh, and all your old mates are there. So everyone's like, oh, well, everyone's doing family stuff. But like the pub the night before, everyone's back in town. Everyone's home again.

And there's this energy. And then back in the volleyball days when a lot of my mates lived over in Europe and stuff, they're coming home for Christmas. They're here for three or four days and they've got family stuff for two. So it's like, are we going out in Christmas? And so I remember being at the orphan pub. And I met this girl called Lelowla Lola. And she came back to my place.

I took it back to Mum's house 200 metres away. So how she would get a little bit? back to your place. Hey, my mum just lives around the corner, sweet. Yeah. And Lulanda goes, what happened to that tree out the front? You got, Tony backed into the tree with the car. Tony hit it. I remember getting so drunk on Christmas Eve with Skech-a and... Skech-A-n't. No. Skech-R, not sketchy. I was like, what?

And what's that? Brandy. We'll get to this bar and I was like, can I get a double shot of Brandy? What the fuck? Because I was like, it's Christmas. Brandy's a Christmas drink. Yeah, I'll pay it. I get the logic. Yeah, and the barman goes, or shit, goes, what? Like, just, and I was like, yeah, it's like, I can see one up there. How about an inch of dust?

Actually, shit's like, like, get all the dust up. And it turns out the brandies like for cooking or like brandy flavored custard or add a dash of brandy to something else. I mean, you can't drink care. Yeah, but it is fucked. It is fucked. And I was spleen bar in Burke Street for those playing long at home. So I had a few.

Shuttle. And then I was like, had a few of those. And didn't that just set you right off? Then I ended up at China Express getting a fried rice at 4 in the morning. And I was like, I've got family Christmas in like four hours. I'm going to be full of ham soon. Yeah. Did you give someone a ham job, a hand dance?

I would have loved to have, but I was probably like beyond that. Yeah, okay. Yeah. And you had to get back to Eltham from the city. Yeah. Awful. Can you get a taxi at 4 a.m. on Christmas day? Well, that's how the big guy gets around.

Maybe I could have got to live. with him in the sleigh. Oh, mate, Rudolph, come on down, right. Have you done Eltham yet, bud? No. You don't drop me off there on the way out there. He couldn't grab me over way out. I'll pay her.

Do you take a post? You've been naughty. So, waking up on Christmas morning, you've just been... Hang over as hell. Yeah. You've just been railed from this guy you met at Eltham Pub. Yeah. You're at his house.

Yeah. What are you thinking? I'm thinking my mom is going to kill me. Yeah. Because I'm. not home and it's Christmas. I'm thinking like, shit, I've got to get home. Yeah.

Where's my car? Like, what am I? Well, he drove her home. That is really nice. That is very sweet. I'm also thinking, fuck, I hope he doesn't live with his parents. Like, am I walking out to mom and dad, Nisa's nephew's kind of situation?

His wife and kids opening the presents. Oh, my email. Is it my new mother? I think because you know when you meet someone you really like and it's just like oh my god and obviously it's like the honeymoon phase and blah blah totally but when you hook up with someone and you're like not only was that like a great night but like I like I like I like you that's when you're sitting and you're kind of like oh I'm not going to do that like oh wait a week and take it you like oh let yeah I'm going to hang out later no I absolutely love that he went like

you know what like I've got dinner well yeah like fuck let's keep this part How are going. Okay. She didn't invite him though. So true. Tapa Lelina went. I might head home. Let's roll play.

Okay. You're going to be the nurse. The guy. Oh, yep. And I'm going to be the guy's mom. Yep. And. Hang on.

So in this floor play, role play. Yeah. I'm talking to my mom. Okay. I'm going to have to really try and get into character. here. Hey, let me take my mind back 14 years.

Okay. Are there any family members for the purpose of the role play that you do? I love it. All right. So I'm the boy. Lelaina's just sucked me dry. And I'm talking to my mum. Earlier that morning.

Oh, yep. She sucked you drive that morning. Yeah. Then you've dropped her home. Yeah. And then it's late afternoon. You've been texting all day. And she's coming back.

Yeah. And you were having family dinner. Oh, okay. Yep. Hey, mom. You know how you always cook way too much, I? Yeah. I love you guys.

I want to make sure you've got enough food and there'll be heaps of the leftovers. Yeah, fucking fair dinkum. You're such a good slut, mum. It's in Eltham's, I'm guessing. That's a bit rough. Or, you know that bloody Tuolah brought in this morning? I know that Chololai out here this morning. I did notice she had a friend's day.

No. Yeah. Lelaina. Is she an old friend? I hardly know her. Oh, what? How do you know her? She an old friend?

We had a pash last night down at the Eltho. Do they call on that? No, absolutely no. Okay. We had a pash last night while DJ Jazzy Jeff was playing. Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

And then she needed a place to stay, did she? Yeah. So what happened? Oh, don't worry, mum. We use protection. Oh. Oh, jazzy Jeff. Call me Charles. I'll be Charles.

Oh, Charles. I don't want to know about that. Oh, Mom, I know you've had one up here. You gave birth to me, didn't you? Charles. I hate when you talk like that in the family home. Oh, Mom, it's Christmas. If you want to talk like, Matt, Mom, it's Christmas. If you want to talk like, Mattie.

Move out and get to her own house. Mom, you know that I don't. You're 35 years old. Get out of the house. Mom, you know that I don't have any money. Spina on Bitcoin. Well, I told you about those internet things. They'll never do well.

Mama! Now, you're talking about that girl who was slugging on your goboblo. Yeah, so that too old, she doesn't know I haven't got any money yet, and she's going to come back here for Chrissy dinner. What do you reckon? Oh, Christmas? Yeah. Yeah, she's around there now, but I thought she'd like a second dinner and a second dinner. She's had the turkey now.

She's going to have the booth. I would have thought one serve of pork sword was enough for the day. You know what I always say? Never too much pork swords. Did she want the crackling on her meal or is that a service? Show me, you crackling, mum. Oh, sorry. Yeah, so she's, the voice is so funny.

Yeah, so she's going to come around. Mum, is that all right? I'll get another plate out. Is she your girlfriend? Oh, we're not really at that place yet. Why, when did you meet her? Last night, at Jazzy Jeff. When did you first meet her?

Last night at Jazzy Jeff at the Eltho. See, you... We're new friends, Mom. We're getting to know each other. Oh, you kids are so fast these days. Yeah, well, I mean, she's seeing the inside of me arse. Sorry. Oh, so she'll be eating Christmas dinner and ass tonight.

That's nice. Kids these days, I tell you. She'll be full. I'm eating now. Sorry. I've just remembered that Layla. Lelina. Lelina.

He's a real person. She's a real person. Who listens to this show? And thank you for sharing your story. I hope you enjoyed our foreplay. Roll play. Sorry, I genuinely keep fucking that up. Hi, my name's Liv from Melbourne, Australia.

This is Leila from Tassie. I'm Bethan from Cardiff in Wales. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. I think we all quite enjoyed the Charles impression from just before. So should Charles read out these championed arpers? Charles on his map Is that a normal conversation Between you and your mum

No, absolutely not Oh my God Which one specific part was not What you and your mum would talk like Yeah actually give us an example Maybe the whole thing No but if you have to choose one Oh so you'd snake a girl in you wouldn't tell her

That's fucked What's one specific thing that was said That you wouldn't say with your mum That I've seen that she We've seen in the inside of each other He's so uncomfortable right now I love it For such a cocky little

That's great to see him squirm. Do you know I saw the cutest thing the other day? Was it the inside of Charles? I have seen that. Wasn't that cute, but I have seen that. No. It was like this Instagram reel.

I'd got my maths question, right? And it was this Instagram reel and it was like, the best way to kill time while you're driving home, driving on, the best way to kill time on a long drive is calling your mum. And a boy posted the reel and guess who'd liked it? Suckold McSawkell.

fuck face over there. And I sent this, you know how? Because on Instagram it says if your friends have liked it, they pop up in a little bubble. I hate that. I know, it's very attie. But I sent it to, I sent a screenshot to Charles and I was like, this is very sweet. Like, and you know what? Oh my God, it worked on me.

I've been hustled. That's so that girl sleep with you and they think you're sweet. Because I watched that and I was like, what a nice guy. I actually had so many friends who would, because you sent me a screenshot, you sent me the start of the video and I was like, what's this video about? No, I sent you the part that says on the phone to your mum. No, you did not. Yes, no, I fucking did because I did it on purpose.

Charles? Fuck with me. Calling mum. Oh, I wonder what video it is. Maybe the words calling mum give you a bit of a fucking clue. Thank you, mate. You're welcome. I needed that.

Anyway. In for 2026. Back in your friends. Out for 2026. Charles. Right. A massive shout out to a few of our champion Taupers, who hopefully are going to enter

me no I'm gonna enter our podcast away and come on a trip to Fiji with us Brittany Gardner thank you very much Brittany Jeff, love to see it Jeff thank you DJ Jazzy Jeff from the album

he's getting around Who's DJ Jazzy Jeff That's a person It feels like Fresh Prince of Ballet Like that era I don't know who it is There you go That's DJ Jazzy Jeff

Oh hot The Fresh Prince of Ballet Oh no Jeffrey Allen Towns, better known by his stage name, DJ Jazzy Jeff. Yeah, hip-hop duo with Will Smith. Can you believe that? They're up the Elton Pub. That's amazing.

Sass Nichols, good on your SaaS. Stephen Gerrity, good on you, Stephen. That's Stephen with a pH. Jesse Thompson, good on you, Jesse. Sivan. Syrian? C-E-R-A-N? It's with a C-E-R-I.

It might be Kerry. Cherry. Carrie Ann. Gary Ann. Carrie. Carrie, Ken. Sorry, that's fucking sent me into oblivion. Tara Fulmer.

I love the name Tara. Good name. Tara? Former. Julia Emma. Hardly know them either. Joanna, Julia J.2.0. Cindy Lou Who, Merry Christmas.

And Catherine Tanya. Hardly know her. Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. Yep. If you join our Patreon, not only at the moment, do you have a chance to come with us to Fiji as a champion type of. But you have access to the back catalog of everything we've ever made on there. It's like live streams, old blogs, playlists. The group chat that's popping off at all times.

The group chat is unreal. If you need instant feedback on anything in your life, throw it in the group chat and people will help you out. They're good, aren't they? But yes, it's a lot of funding there. We announced yesterday on the pod that we're doing our podcast away trip to Fiji. Are we, oh, we move the plants. They'll fake. Yeah, we did.

We're going to Fiji. A beautiful tropical island. We're staying in a beautiful resort. The loveliest people you'll ever meet, the Fijians. And I'll tell you what, aren't we going to have a crack in time and holiday together? Oh my God, I can't wait. And you know what I hear when I think we're taking eight tarpers with us? And they're plus ones.

16 new best friends. And us? We're already best friends. Okay, great. Yeah, great. But it's like 16 new friends. Yeah. We're going to record the show there.

We're going to go stand up paddleboarding. We're going to do some activities, have dinner together. Tony's going to have a martini and like it. See you at the breakfast buffet. You will see me at the breakfast buffet. Oh, yeah. When times it open? What times are finished?

Great. Put me in the seat closest to that. Yeah. Can my, do I have a breakfast access room? Yeah. Lights at a pool access. You walk out your balcony door and the breakfast is right there. Last time we were there.

um, Mabel was like, oh, can I have one of these? And I'll always go, oh, you know, I'll come with you.

Because you know. Yeah. And do you ever get, there's always room for one more hash brown. Do you reckon? And I've always ever. Controversial. Mm.

I reckon it's totally acceptable to grab a little something to eat whilst you're walking around looking for other stuff to eat. Oh, hell yeah. Thank you. Absolutely.

It's like getting a boost juice in a shopping centre. So true Walk around with a little numnums Yeah little nosh Taste why you look So we actually have spoken To our first travelling Tapa Yep

Here's a little snippet of us calling Annie From the Netherlands And telling her that we're taking her To Fiji with us I'm gonna hello Hello is that Annie Chip balls

We don't do pranks You know that We don't do pranks But we were warm Can you do us a favour Annie Tony and I are going to Fiji and we're

wondering, would you please be able to come with us? Yes. It's in November. So how long does it take to get from the Netherlands to Fiji? Do you have to leave soon? See in Fiji. So Annie's in? Annie's well and truly in.

Very excited. Seven more rounds. Round two is open right now. So Tony and Ryan, that's we got to search for it, Patreon. And you can be coming with us. What do you got there? No, so I, um, what do you got to hear?

I've been over the break into scrapbooking. and I've saved last year in 2025 every single playing ticket from a trip that we did together I picked up like receipts and menus and did a bit of junk journaling but I picked everything up but I hadn't put it together yet and then also chat in the new year of like goals and vision boards and stuff

but I thought that because I'm so excited about our podcast away trip to Fiji this year I thought I would make a little vision board Oh my God so I've made a like A little Fiji book I've started a little scrapbook, so I'd stamped those on myself. That looks cool.

And so I've got a little vision board that I started. Oh, shit. And this is like the vibes of our trip I feel. It's like the energy of everything that we're going to do and see and how I want everyone to feel when they think about the trip. You know what I totally forgot about? The watermelons. And you put them on there and I was like, oh my God, we're going to be heating so much watermelon.

Yes. Tarpers. There's photos of Fiji. playing Uno on the beach. With the tarpet. Like we could sit around and play card game. Play card game. Passport personality is written here.

Uh-huh. You're good at this. This looks great. Making new friends. Oh, you so much. I attract beautiful friendships into my life. That's all the new tarpa friends we're going to make.

And it's got a picture of someone, um, they seem to be standing on a stand-up paddle board. Not relatable for me. Oh, no, actually we, you and I both do that once for a second. We give it another hot. Give it another. It'd be harder in the waves, though.

Well, it's pretty flat. But it's not, it's not. No, but it's calmer. Calmer, but not. Yeah. Yeah. But we can take a picture of that and maybe pop it on the screen for people watching now or we can share it. But I made that because I was just feeling really inspired and I was like, what is this trip to me?

So that's our first page. So maybe as we meet people. We add some pitch. Huh? Add some picks. Add some more stuff. And take Polaroids. No picture of my family in there.

That's. as we like meet people, we'd take Polaroids and add them in here and journal our trip. I think I'm into money. Real things, touching. Yeah, tangible.

Like when you say Polaroids, I'm like, yeah, and I know like Polaroids are being cool again for like five or ten years. But I get it. I'm in. Yeah. I'm in. I love this so much.

I'm so proud of it. So Annie, see you in Fiji in November. See you in my vision board. If you would like to join Tony, myself. and Annie and Annie's plus one. So Annie gets plus ones, she gets more plus ones than I get.

Yeah. Interesting. If you would like to be part of this, Patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan come and join us. Every month there's a new round. So there's chances right throughout the year. And then we're all going together in November. It's going to be sick.

And all the logistics chat, you can look at the T's and Cs at the link tree in our bio or inside Patreon. Sorry, we'll do the link in their show notes as well. But also in Patreon, every time we launch a new round. And everything's available there. You get to see me in budgie smugglers.

It's the ultimate prize. But also in the T's and Seas. Is that a prize or is it a deterrent? No, it's a prize. What are you talking about? I actually knew that. I was just fishing. I just wanted for someone to say it.

Fishing, you could go fishing, Fiji. I was just fishing for a compliment. Oh, well, sometimes you catch one. Twice in one day. Huge. But all the logistics chat is available. Yep. And if you've got any questions, send them through them.

We'll do our best to answer. But very exciting stuff. Um, so 2020 thrive is over. Yeah. But it means we've got some official data. Oh. Of like the final. How hard we thrived?

The final tally of 2020 thrive. Um, the first tally we've got here is that of all the people born in Australia, we have the top names from 2025. Oh, wow. Now, because Tony is my best friend. Yeah. Your best friend. Oh, Australia's best friend.

I welcome new friendships into my life. That's what that said. I've manifested that. So as we reveal the top names of 2020 thrive, I would love you to, like, in a sentence, throw a nickname at them. Oh, love it. Yep. Yeah.

On. All right. Number five. If your name is under all of them, is that what you've done? Is one to five, Ryan? No, but that would have been hilarious and I regret that I haven't. The fifth most popular book. What's just happening?

Fifth most popular boys name. Fifth most popular boys name in Australia in 2025. Matteo. Mateo. Oh, big Maddie. What would he? Maddieo? Oh, just having a drink outside.

Yeah, out on the Mattio. You didn't laugh at my pun. What'd you say, mate? Out on the Maddieo. That is very good. Should have been paying attention. Yeah. Mateo.

I like that. I do like Mattie. Maido. Mado. You know, Maido? Yeah, Big Maddie, M dog. That's a big one in Australia. You've got Big M.

I like C out on the Maddieo. Now that you've said it reminded me of it. Thanks. Number four is. Elijah. I hardly know what. Eli? Jaja Binks.

Is that where that comes from? What? Jaja Bings is his full name Elijah. No, he's like an alien, isn't he? Yeah, but aliens can have full names. Actually, you know what? Sorry, that was disparaging. Sorry.

Ellie, Eli, Eli, Jaja, Jaja Gabor. That's what I'd pull him. Oh, I like it. Number three is... Oliver, Oliver, never before has a boy wanted more. Oliver, Oliver, Oliver. No, no, stairway without any but a star.

Sorry, I don't remember the whole thing. I love an Oliver. It's just a classic name that I'll, there can never be too many Oliver's. Ollie is great. Oliver, I think Oliver is also a great name. I reckon it's quite a cool name that works from like birth to death. Yeah. You know how there's some names that really suit a little kid, but maybe don't suit an adult?

The opposite to that would be Theodore. Or Graham? Yeah. Like a baby Graham, probably not. But a grown-up Graham, you're like, well, yeah. Are they born 37? I think so. Does anyone know a Graham under 40?

I'd love to know. If you know a Graham that's under 40, let us know if it suits them as well. But how come the name Graham has aged terribly? But Oliver. Oh, still around. Sounds just time. Yeah. Jamie Oliver?

Not his first name, but still. anonymous with a great name. Number two. That's happened like a fart. Is Liam. I love the name, Liam. I think it's a real cool girl name. Yep.

Liam. Nickname. Leigh. Leg of Leigham. Leigham sandwich. Leaky cord. Liam, are you going to finish that? Liam, I are your best friend.

And the most popular boy's name of 2025 was... I hardly know. So the top name really was Noah. Yeah. Semi god names, eh? I think that's back. I think like... It's that bad.

Old classics are back. Yeah. Like biblical names. Noah, I love Liam. I love them all. Especially the Maddieo. Have a drink out on the Maddieo. Yep.

I can't believe Noah was genuinely the first person. And then... I can't believe you didn't put Ryan on there. It's data. Are you a data guy? It is data. But maybe I should lean out of data and into actually being funny. I've been encouraging that for five years.

Yeah. Yeah. Turns out hosting a comedy podcast does have opportunities for comedy. At times. But it's up to you to take them. And that's just all life is. Tony brings the comedy and I bring the boards. Yeah, and I love it.

Top girls' names in 2025. Can I, now that I've seen the vibe of the first one, can I see if I can guess what might be in the top five? Yep. Lucy. I reckon Lucy's in there. Any other random one? I'll give you two that you can throw out.

Okay. Oh, what's a popular girl's name at the moment? I think Georgina is going to be in there. Ooh. Yeah. Why have you got Georgina on the montage? I've just, there's a lot of like, in my family, a lot of, we've got a Georgina, but then like, I know like some other like people at that age who are awesome.

Would you say that similar to the boys? There's like a classic older school name. Georgina, yeah, isn't as like, because you remember when everyone watched Game of Thrones and then they went through a bit of a lot, like everyone called their kid Carlisi for a bit and shit? Yeah, fuck. Gonna regret that later, are real. I think they already are. Okay, another one.

I've said Lucy. Charles has gone Georgina. I've gone Lucy. The other name I reckon is... You'll kick yourself. Oh, I will. No, that was my suggestion. Oh.

If that's a one of them. Oh, shit. And you will anyway. Oh, fuck. I'm really drawing a blank. Is it like Sarah? I'm going to go Sarah. Sarah and Lucy.

All right. Number five, most popular girl's name in 2025 was... Oh, of course. Isabella. Isabella. Yeah. Well, then you could do a Bella and Izzy. I don't like Izzy.

What if they spelled it with a Z? Nah, the worst. Yep. Oh, Izzy? Is he? No. Bella, I like. Or Bell.

Like, B-E-L-L-E. Do you reckon Mabel will get Bell? No, I don't think she's a bell. I think Mabel for me is a maybe. Mm. Like, I, that's what... Like, you're not sure if you're like... and I.

Yeah, I'm on the fence. No, like, I call her maibs a lot because you call her maibes. But in my mind, when I'm thinking about her, I think I call her maybe girl. Yeah. And I think in my mind, like, she's a maybe to me. Yep. M-A-B-E-Y. Don't call me maybe.

Don't call me maybe. Yeah. Yeah. Number four. Emma. I mean, I was about to be like, God, these are common names. It's, that's the data. Oh my God. Spotify is so knows me.

It gets me. It gets me. It's data. Emma, Hang on, I did do my nickname. We could go again a big M. Yeah. Like Madio.

Yeah. Or just an M like E.M. Not a lot. It's already pretty small, isn't it? Small name. M. I like Em. I like Emma better than Emily, I feel.

No. Oh yeah, but like there's just a lot of emilies in the world. You don't want to fuck them off. No, I'm not trying to fuck them up. And all I'm saying is if I, if there was one name, if there was two, if there were two names of girls I wouldn't want to fight, I wouldn't pick a fight with Emmys. Yeah. And I wouldn't fuck with Briannas because they're psychos. Yeah, you have said that before and they like that.

Number three. Sophia! Oh, that's good. I was, one of my favorite names is for a girl is Sophie, like our Sophie. Yep. But because of that, obviously. Is there a trend? And I'm just, it's not Isabella, it's Isabella.

It's not Sophie, it's Sophia. Oh. It's not Emily. It's Emma. A's are back in. Aza in. Get in my, eh? Love to.

Okay. So far, Charles and I have both struck out on the names we predicted. Second most popular girl's name of 2025 was. Amelia. Amelia. Would you do an Amy short? for Amelia? Or would you do like Amiel's?

I think Amy doesn't do the beautiful name of Amelia justice. I agree. I think Amelia is beautiful. Well, on the Princess Diaries, she's Amelia, but she goes by Mia, which Mia, I think, is the most beautiful name. I love Mia. I love Mia. I love Mia, Mia.

So, so far, no Lucy. No Lucy, no Sarah, no Georgina. I know you're going to kick yourself. Which was your prediction. Shocker. Absolute chucker. The most popular girl's name of 2025 was. Olivia.

That's the one where I was like, you're going to kick yourself. Because do you know what I love? Live. Hi, Liv. I know a few lives and they're all cool and they're mostly hot. Yeah, they are. Now, the A's dude.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Is that coincidence chatter or is that a trend? Well, it's obviously people are, God, we're going back. to basic names.

And I don't mean that in like basic bitch. I mean like, like simple, like classics. What? Olivia. I hardly know her. Amelia.

I can't say that for me, my brain, Amelia and Olivia. No, there it is. I was like, they're the same word in my brain. Oh.

Sophia. Hardly Noah. Emily. Doesn't get it. No. Um, Isabella, I don't know. Now, this is a tricky thing to ask. Oh.

Do you have a go-to, this is my favourite kid's name at the moment. And why it's tough to ask is because if the answer is yes, you're like, you don't want to give up a kid's name. Yeah. Because for some reason we like it either like keep them private. Yeah, you get like a dick like, yeah, keep it in. But is there one in your mind where you're like, oh, if I would have a kid's name? it would be this. Well,

that was probably me with Pippa. Gotcha. I really liked the name Pippa. And now I have her. We have our Pippa. Yep. I like, I think Pippa's quite a cool girl name.

Would, if you had a kid, would it be like PIPA 2.0? Yeah, we got one. We used the good one on the dog. We didn't think we were going to have kids then. Yeah. Yeah. How long does Pippa Pipple's live for?

Yeah. Yeah. Can we wait another 10 years, maybe? Yeah. Yeah. Do you have another? Because you, oh, can I say the other name, that you guys had always settled on ITA. Ida.

Ida. Sorry. For your baby. Five years. When we were looking at houses, we were like, this would be Ida's room. It was Ida. It was always Ida. And then about eight weeks before now Mabel was born, Bridge goes, you're a bit sick of

of Ida? And I'm like, yeah, kind of. She goes, what about Mabel? And I was like, cool. And that was like the whole conversation. That's amazing. And she's such a Mabel. But for five years, she was Ida.

But she, like, it suits her so well. Yeah. I've got goosebumps thinking about that. Yeah, I know. Because I even remember, like, yeah, when you won the auction at the, like, Beyonce's Airbnb where you live now, I remember you saying like, oh, my God, and I'd are, like, I remember you guys saying that. You also remember me blurting out Mabel at a restaurant?

Yeah. And then Bridgett's getting real mad. Well, because I was just like, oh, my God. I haven't seen her that mad since you found out she wasn't going to Fijit. Yeah, I'd be angry about that, too. That's your fault. That's on you. I feel like you're trying to put that on me.

It's not on me. I'm not taking that on. Well, yeah. Well, I've got, how you love to see it? I think she might. Because there's like a difference between not taking it well and not accepting the news. Sure. And maybe that's an off-air conversation for us all to have?

In fact, probably is. Yeah. For us all to settle once and for all either way. Yeah. But I don't think this is done. What about the conversation we had off-air? After the other day. All.

Where we settled it then. Yeah. Yeah. Well, that was before I spoke to bridge. Yeah. Well, I've got to you love to see it to hopefully bring us back around. What's the tropical version of Between a Rock and a hard place? Between a palm tree and a pineapple.

Oh, that actually sounds quite good. And that's where I am right now. Yeah. Between a palm tree and a pineapple. Sounds lovely. What's the weather like? It's great. Garrett Goulet sent this through and he said, look, very last minute,

year of smug submission. But Tapa Garrett, who sent this in the Patreon, he says, my wife is working full time. We've just moved a thousand miles across the country. And she's taking her master's engineering classes part time. So working full time, they've just moved. So like crazy time. And taking master's engineering.

Just on the side, you know, whatever. Just to, yeah, something to do. Keep the fucking cogs turning. Yep. Engineering gag. Yeah, I get it. Garrett says her class this semester was like the topic was sediment transport, which Albert Einstein's son studied and Albert Einstein told his son to pick something else

because it was too difficult a concept to figure out. So Garrett's wife is currently part time doing something that Einstein was like, oh, be rough. They should put that on the pamphlet. Yeah. Because doesn't that sound like a challenge? Yeah. Oh, Einstein reckons you can't do it. Yeah, we think you can.

It was too hard for Einstein. You want to have a crack? And you go, yeah, fuck that old guy. So, Garrett says, my wife struggled through the semester because it was tough and there was some serious low points. Turns out Einstein was correct. No, he was actually fucking wrong because she got an A minus for the semester. The highest marks that they've seen in years. That's insane.

And so Garrett says, Hmm, smug. And fucking rightfully so. Are we staying smug in 20206? I don't know if we are, because he did say late intro for this one. But that one deserves it every year. That's amazing.

I'm happy to stay with smug. I like that. Because smug is just like knowing what you've done. Yeah, like appreciating your own work. Yeah. Too, where does the Einstein said it was too hard? It's just one of the great sentences you'll ever hear. And doesn't that sound like such a.

beat up. Like, oh, mate, I gave up on that bloody. Even Einstein would think that's too hard. Like, it sounds like a thing, like a saying. Can you imagine like in a movie where you know how like something's happened? The world's going to end. Fucking blah, blah. And they're like, oh, we have to go find the crazy scientist expert. Yeah. And they rock up and he goes, too hard for me. And then the movie just ends it. Yeah. And they just go, you know what? Cut whatever why you want. Yeah. It's too much. We're all fucked either way. So whatever. Global warming, etc. Is Einstein in Oppenheimer? Yes. Yeah.

Is he smart in that? It's not, he doesn't play himself. It's an actor. Do you know much about acting? No. Oh, well, basically, um, acting. It's actually just pretending. Oh, so the guy, the Einstein in Oppenheimer.

So you think that's Einstein and you go, oh my God. He's a scientist. How they get him. Yeah. But it's him. He's playing Einstein. It's just pretending. So it's not Einstein.

No. So he doesn't know anything about science. He's just pretending that he does. Acting as though he does. Acting is crazy. That's wild. I have, you'll love to see it here.

Please. Now, I think I've done this. You love to see it every year and I will continue to do it. Dads timing boats. I get tagged in so many boat things on Instagram. You know what I get tagged in? Did you know that Torn was a cover? Did you know that the word?

Homeowner has meow in it. Yeah. Yeah. And I love it. It makes me feel really seen. Emma White. Hi Emma. Emma.

Emma? Best name of the year. Top. Third best. Fourth. Fourth best name of the year. It's darter. Fourth.

Cumberley wasn't third. You're joking. Should have been higher. Hot cost buns are on sale. Hot cost buns. Are on sale. Hot cost buns. Are on sale.

What is a hot cost bun? You'll never believe the cost of these hot cost buns. Hot cross buns are on sale at Coles. Oh, a hot cross bun. Oh, that sounds lovely. They were already on sale. They were out on literal boxing day. Boxing day.

Christmas fuck it off. Hot cost buns, get them in. I love a hot cost bun. It's weird that they've got a cross on the top. Why don't they have a cost on the top? What shape is a cost? A circle. With that throat, you know how like when you're watching Squids games and after the first few episodes,

you don't realize right away that they have different shapes on their faces? Yeah. And then you start going, hang on a second. And you go, well, how are they telling each other apart? Yeah. Yeah, fuck. That's a good show. Good bit of sniff.

Maybe they should embrace Squids games and some have crosses and some have trodn't. Wouldn't that just fucking. A triangle, a circle? But wouldn't society just fucking melt down? Well, I mean, they melt down the fact that they're on. sale at all. Sorry, sounded like a lounge singer at the end there.

Welcome to our podcast where we teach you to be a rich New York woman in her 60s. They're on sale at all. Come on down. You wouldn't buy it at the department store. You know where I got that sex fifth avenue. Yeah, that's good. So that was my love to say it. That's awesome.

Hot cost bans are on sale. I think, do you know what? Can I do a second love to say it? Not only a hot cost buns on sale, but I think they're also selling hot cross buns. Like the ones from Easter. In for 2026. Being a .

In for 2026. Friends support friends. So I'm here for it. In for 20206. Comedy. That's what I'll say. Acting. Acting.

It's all here. Thank you so much for watching, listening. being a part of it and submitting your stories. And gas up, Annie, our first travelling TARPA in the comments as well. Yep, absolute legend. Tomorrow, normal or now, you can submit yours in the Facebook group or at tony and Ryan.com.com. Go get yourself a hot cross bun or a hot cross bun.

Either one. They're selling both goals. Love you so. Oh, you know I was late for work this morning? Why? The things were down at the train costing. I thought maybe Bridget was a bit cost. She's not going to Fiji.

Yeah. Well, she was just looking up at the sky up at the Southern Coss and was like, oh, wouldn't be great to see this. Wouldn't it be great to see this to be Jim? Oh, when you, when you saw Youngblood, did you see, did you catch the train to Southern Cost station? You know your neighbor, not the one that lives next to you, but the one across the ride. Stop pissing me off. I'll get really coss. You know how you call it an agnostic poem, but it's actually an acoustic pole. That's funny on so many levels.

It really crosses the... Oh, what a shame. Yeah. Oh, all right. Cost to you tomorrow. Love you, mate. Oh. Nah.

Nah, you got it. You got it. Remember when we're on the TV. We're doing a live cost. At the Australian Open tennis? Yeah. Yeah. Should you hit down the line or go cost court?

Should we go to Get buy some stuff in bulk We could go to cross code I go the other way Oh okay Thought might Maybe you could cost back Okay

Sorry love you bye bye bye bye I didn't get a new car It crossed too much See? No Bye