Toni and Ryan - Don't Mention Mum's Affair

Episode Date: August 11, 2024

When have you ballsed up a secret?!?!?! AND I'M BACK AT THE CINEMA LOL love ya!!!!! Toni xoxoxCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. G'day, mate. This name fucks me up. Oh. N-I-A-M-H. Neve. No, it just makes no sense. There's no V in it. It doesn't make sense. I also hate it, but it's Neve.

All right, we're calling Neve. Who is in? Where would you issue the Neve from? Neve, Neveland? We're off to Neva Neva Land Hello She knew Sorry Neve Tony was singing back from Neva Neva Land Yeah

That's awesome I love it Thanks Neve You've got a shit name but I love you already I know right My name sucks too Yeah but at least people can pronounce your name And see what it is Thanks, Niamh. You've got a shit name, but I love you already. I know, right? Tell me about it every single day. I'm like, yeah, but at least people can pronounce your name and see what it is. Mine looks like Niamh.

Yeah, Ryan called you Niamh before we hit the phone. I have called someone like you a nymph before. A nymph? Oh, my God, I've had that before too. Yeah. It's confusing. People just these days don't understand old school Gaelic and frankly it's a shame.

But thank you for researching though and like not just calling me nymph first off. I really appreciate it. And by research, I go, hey, Tony, how the fuck do you say that? Yeah, no, you're welcome. Yeah, any time. All right, now I've checked that off. Are you good to approve today's podcast? I would absolutely love to.

Yay! We never thought you'd say that. Hi, this is Niamh from Melbourne and I've approved this podcast. Yeah. We never thought you'd say that. Hi, this is Niamh from Melbourne and I've approved this podcast. Welcome to a new show. Welcome to a new show. Welcome to a new week. Welcome to a new language, apparently.

All right, well, if you want to start with a fight, I've got a fight. What's the fight? Did you just say, hang on, I need to adjust my hair to put my hat on? No, I just said I need to re-hat. Re-hat? Yeah. Okay. Because my hair was slipping out the back and I was like, it's just going to keep pissing me off.

So I was like, I'll just re-do it. Because when I was in primary school, you know, you had to have hats, like no hat. No hat, no play, no school today. Yeah. And so because I was like, used to use four tubs of hair gel every day um used to sorry that was actually let's not start the week like that it's a new way yeah thank you i want to take that back i love you i'm so sorry i used to like do my hair under my like if i knew i had to take my hat off later i'd make sure the part was right so then when the hat went on it like push down but still in the part yes yeah so you wouldn't

take off and have hat hair you take it off and be like dapper well it was like a helmet underneath of hair gel yeah have you seen like um i think because i'm like hot on the olympic streak of like instagram and stuff or like the people doing their hair for the synchronised swimming and all of that. And it's like glued to their head. And they pull it out and it's like a piece of hair but it looks like it's like in one thing but it's like 100 strands. Can you snap hair off?

It looks like they could snap that off. It's really like not what I was expecting. Neither. It must have been very nice. No. Like it wouldn't feel very nice to be like encased. Yeah. And it was also very ASMR-y when they were cracking it off. Like, it wouldn't feel very nice to be, like, encased. Yeah.

And it was also very ASMR-y when they were cracking it off. Yeah, because they, like, tap into it. It's like Lego hair. Yeah, it's crazy. Yeah. Hey, somewhere in the world we're throwing a party and we're paying for the food and drinks. Music will be pumping. Everyone's invited.

This Saturday, August 17th. First clue coming up shortly. you just need to find where in the world it is yeah uh but first tony lodge yes when it comes to keeping a secret because we know where it is yes are you tell me where your head's at in terms of are you nervous are you watching what you're saying are you traditionally a good secret keeper what's the lay of the land i think that i'm a good secret keeper when it's like oh can you not tell anybody that this happened when i killed that guy yeah um but like that kind of thing i'm like okay with because i'm not like tempted to tell but it's more like like this

if i buy someone a present i'm like do you want me to tell you what it is like it was 12th birthday only a few weeks ago and i was just like so i bought you present a month ago and it's wrapped in the cupboard like do you want to open it now because i think we're all just really excited about it or like the lead up to christmas i'm like oh well i bought you something really cool like do you want to see it yeah that's the kind of thing that i i like get excited to tell people good stuff yeah but i'm not like a a gossiper yeah like you know what i mean yeah what about a blurter because i know in planning you know we're going to this party somewhere in the world and often when when you're going away

normally you'd be like oh while i'm there or you're telling your friends what are you going out to oh i'm about to do this yeah yeah yeah so that kind of thing is like almost tripped me up a few times because it's exciting yeah it is exciting uh so i'm being really careful um even like chatting to like my hairdresser or like go and get my eyebrows done or whatever and they're like oh so like what are you up to like what's what's the haps i'm like i think um another thing bit of a peek behind the curtain because we've been planning this for a little while during the live stream hell yeah not being able to be like, oh, well, because we're doing that thing. Yeah, I got very close.

Do you know what I mean? Or even if like something comes up that's slightly related and you go, and you have to like stop yourself. So I'm not great. I'm not doing well. A lot of tarpers have confessed that they are also not good at keeping a secret. And not that I think you'll fuck it up, but, you know,

it is nice to hear from some other people's woes and go, oh, well, maybe it's not all bad if, you know, I'm not going to, it won't be that bad. Yeah. Because I won't be as bad as Carly Harstead. What a bastard. Well, forget, I mean, remember you said that. Oh.

When I was seven, I told my neighbor he was adopted. Oh. Turns out he didn't know yet. He and his parents never forgave me. Now, what did you call her again? Oh. Carly Harstead, outed a bastard. That's not what a bastard is.

Isn't that when your parents aren't married? We don't have that information. I just assumed because that's what happened to me, that's what happened to everyone. It's not. See, this like breaks all of everything I know about being adopted because I remember one of the first things I said to you, I'm like, oh, what was that like when you found out?

And you're like, you don't find out, you just know. Yeah. And because my next doordoor neighbours, like, through my whole childhood, they were adopted, but I didn't find out until I was, like, 10. Yeah, right. They knew the whole time. And then one day they're like, oh, yeah,

we got new iPod Nanos or whatever. And I was like, oh, what did you get that for? Like, it's not your birthday. And they're like, yeah, it's, like, our adoption day. And they used to celebrate their birthday, their adoption day and christmas how could their parents afford it i know after i bought the kids as well um and so i was like what and then they were like yeah because you know we're adopted and i was like what and i was like heartbroken i love to make things about me as you know so i don't know how to wear that. All good.

Gavin McFall sounds like a fake name. Yeah. Sounds like a porn star name. It does. Do you have like, have you ever done your like porn star generator name? Oh, that it's like your first dog and your street name or whatever. Yeah. What would yours be then?

Like Cleo Norman, which is quite good. Mine would be Zach Abbey. Oh, Zach. Rhys. No, Zach. It's Zach. Both blue. No, one's a dog.

Gavin McFall. Both are dogs. I was drunk. This is fun. I was drunk and asked my friend about her mum's affair. Turns out she didn't know yet. Worst secret to spill ever. Wait, say that again?

It's like everyone knew that this girl's mum was like doing the hippity dippity on the side. With like not her partner? Yeah, and it turns out the only one who didn't know was the daughter. Oh, how old? Did it say how old they were? No, but I mean old enough to be saying things like, your mum's a fair. Although what a sick burn from an eight-year-old,

even if they didn't know what it was. Did he just say he was drunk? Yeah. Yeah, so it probably was an eight. Well, hopefully it was an eight. Otherwise, what's going on in this fucking town? Yeah, it's a big town. Yeah, lots going on.

Big weekend in a big town. Yeah, is your mum still fucking that guy? What? That is so heartbreaking. Like that. Oh, and these aren't funny. These are sad. Is there a funny one?

Do you want a funny one? Yeah. All right. I'll take out George's. Oh, no. Tell me George's now. No, no, no. Now I've got to know.

No, no, no. Now I've got to know. Tell me George's, then tell me the funny one. No, we're going to Chloe. Hi, Chloe. Chloe Vanderberg. got to know no now i've got to know tell me george's then tell me the funny now we're going to chloe hi chloe vanderberg when i was a kid my mom took a shopping to get dad a fishing hat for father's day oh cute and she said don't tell dad it's a secret we can't ruin this father's day surprise that night i dreamed that i accidentally told Dad about the hat and I woke up in tears. Like it was a full nightmare.

I've told Dad about things. And because you just do feel so bad but you feel special that you've been trusted with like a little secret. Yeah, because you've been brought into the inner circle. Yeah. So I ran into Mum and Dad's room sobbing. I go, Mum, I had a bad dream and I told dad about his fishing hat. To my horror, I looked over and realised dad was awake and that the dream was now a reality.

She wakes up again. Why? A third time. She was in Inception. Poor dream is down. Mum and dad burst out laughing and dad insisted that he didn't hear me um what a good what a nice dad and i was still sobbing saying this isn't funny it's not funny stop laughing at me mum and dad but now as an adult i can see this is obviously

the most hilarious thing that's ever happened in history even though at the time it felt like the worst thing that ever happened but it does feel like the world is crumbling because you go, oh, that's all. Now, Tony, I want you to put yourself in this position. As someone, no, not that one. Face back to me. Yeah, turn back around. Imagine this.

You know how you've mentioned that your Pilates place, there's a pizza joint or whatever yeah uh is there like a bar down there or something there is literally a bottle shop uh pizza place and a pilates place and i once told uh our producer sophie where it was she goes oh yeah i go to the bottle shop next yeah great go go great so imagine say there's a like a surprise party going on at your place. At my house. Yeah, for a friend. Yep.

And the friend's over and you go, oh, we've got to set up. So what I'll do is we'll go down the street. Yeah. And we'll go to that bar, just have a drink. So everyone can then like pile in. Oh, yeah. And you go, oh, we need some more ice. We'll go to the one that's an hour away.

Yeah. And so these two girls take their friend to the bar down the road to like distract her while they set up for the party yeah so it's all it's all going it's quite sweet yeah and then the girl who's surprise partied is goes oh um you know let's head on back and they're like oh no no good luck we probably have another drink or something you know like they're like stalling waiting for everyone to get there and then so one of the girls goes, and maybe this is you because you're a great performer under pressure. You go, oh, we can't go back yet.

I've got period pain. I think I just want to sit on the couch for 10 minutes and just – Oh, can we just chill out here? Yeah, can we just chill for 10 minutes? I've just got a bit of a sore tongue. Yeah, that is not what I would do. What would you do? I'd make up a lie.

I'd start crying. I'd be like, I think Torbs is cheating on me. Or something really traumatic. So people would go, oh, my God. And then I would really – like, it would be terrible. So you would commit. And then they can't go, oh, that sucks, bro. Anyway, should we have – no, that's you.

Fucking sit down. Tell me all about it. Yeah, and they're like, why do you think that? And then I'm like, oh, fuck, I'm in too deep here. I looked at his WhatsApp and I didn't even know he had WhatsApp. Yeah, and there's like, why do you think that? And then I'm like, oh, fuck, I'm in too deep here. I looked at his WhatsApp and I didn't even know he had WhatsApp. Yeah, and there's all these hoes. Yeah, there's all these people. You know what?

That's a great idea and I will say in hindsight better than the period, cramps, stomach, I need to sit thing. So what happens is they go, I've got period pain, and then the one who's getting surprised went, oh, I'm just going to duck back to the house and get a heaty sack so she can put it on her tummy. How lovely. But also if you've got period pain or like a tummy ache

or like anything like that, where do you want to be? Not at a bar. Your house. Yeah. So you go, well, we could go home. Like we're right around the corner. So this person's snuck out to go and get a heaty sack because they're a great friend, you know?

Oh, and I'll take it to the, you know, we'll sit at this nice little bar and give them a heaty sack and whatever. That is really sweet actually. I'd love a friend like that. They didn't want to make a big deal of it. They're like, I'll just duck over across the road, get the heaty sack, come back. I won't even make a big deal. Yeah.

So the two people who are supposed to be distracting this girl are still sitting at the bar. But the vigilante is on the loose. The person who- The heady sack vigilante. The heady sack vigilante who is also the surprisee has gone back to the house and walked in and gone, oh, why is everyone here?

Do you know where the heady sack is? And they've gone, oh, surprise. That's your surprise. Because they go, fuck, is it now? Yeah. We're not supposed to be back for half an hour like what the fuck and then the whole half a streamer on the roof but i think what's more awkward is um then the vigilante surprisee goes oh there's two people who were supposed to be distracting me yeah they're at the bar getting drunk i'm getting her a a heady sack. Yeah, because I'm really nice. Why are we calling it a heady sack? Isn't that what you guys call it?

That's what I call it at home. Wheatbag? What did you call me? So did you think the people who pretended to have period pain, who were still at the bar while the surprise was going on, how would you describe those people in this situation? Well, I mean that they had. And when I say how would you describe them, tell it to Sophie's face.

Sophie. Hang on. Were you the one getting the heady sack? No, she was at the bar being drunk. Oh, I should have known. Yeah, it was her job to keep her distracted. Sophie's a really good party mum. So I thought that maybe she was the heady sack person.

No. I learned from the best, which is the surprisee. Right. She's even better. Oh. Yeah. Oh, classic Sophie getting drunk. Hi, this is A from Melbourne, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. We absolutely love to see it. Thank you very much for being part of it. The replay of the tapathon is available in Patreon for exclusive and champion tapas to re-watch. Shockingly, a lot of people are loving it. The views are pretty high and I, yeah. We didn't really know whether people would be into it, but people are loving it.

So if you missed it, you can join and rewatch the whole thing. Especially now that the games are over. Yeah. I mean, go relive the glory. Yeah. And by glory, I mean our tarpathon. Us, yeah, for 20 hours. Landon Slaughter.

See you at the party, Landon Slaughter. What? Go on. What did you say? See you at the party. What party? We're having a birthday party. Oh, I was like, do you know this person?

Emma Heston. See you at the party, Emma Heston. This is going to get annoying. It's also Heskin, so you weren't even listening. Bronnie Ryan, good on you, Bronnie. Aisling, Karen Hafner, Joshie L. Fenn, Janet Roberts and Fanna Cox. You can have that one. See you on the party, Fanna Cox.

That was such a womanly laugh, wasn't it? Like a rich woman laugh. Rich woman laugh. Someone in Turak that keys your car. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm just in Turak that keys your car. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I'm just in the Aesop shop. I'm having a good time, but I'm too rich to open my mouth when I smile.

I've had many, many, many thousands of dollars worth of dental work done. Yeah. I don't drink out of a Frank Green water bottle. I've got an Antipodes bottle. We gave my kid lots and lots of money and instead of using it on education he used it on drugs he's loving his life in uh in la but we'll probably have to bring him home soon yeah i hope that screenplay works out for him yeah we've had to buy him nine horses

anyway um yeah so having a birthday party where Where in the world are Tony and Ryan? Somewhere in the world we're throwing a party. We're paying for the food and drinks. The music will be pumping. Everyone is invited. It's on this Saturday, the 17th of August. All you have to do is find out where in the world it is and it's time for clue number one.

Are you going first or me? Who's saying this? You can say it. And now it's time for clue number one. Ben Stiller. Hardly Noah. That's not part of it. That's not part of it.

That's not part of it. It's just Ben Stiller. Ben Stiller. Ben Stiller. Is clue number one. And we will see you this Saturday at 2 p.m. A lot of secret chat going on the pod today. Also in the office, just full stop because we're like, oh, who knows?

And you're like, well, obviously I know, so you can talk to me about it. But there's just been a lot of back and forth and I feel like real edgy about secrets at the moment. But not only I think it's like pretty clear that I'm not very good at like keeping a secret because I get really excited. I think another thing that we don't give me enough credit for is how good I am at not learning a secret. Like if I cop it like curiosity killed the cat,

like if I get a whiff of something, i can't help but like claw at it until like i figure it out even if i don't keep asking questions i just fucking love ruining shit for myself yeah i just can't let shit go speaking of not letting shit go because we call it the wormhole it's like when i go into the wormhole i get a bit stuck and then i either have to let something go or i have to find out and it's definitely like probably part of my OCD, but I just can't actually like, yeah, I just get really attached to stuff. Sorry, you said the word I can't let this go and there's something I can't let go.

That's not a word, that's a whole sentence. Yeah. So I actually just need to, my brain, similar maybe, my brain can't move on until I've just. Okay, no, I'd love to hear it. What is it? Unless it's against me, then I don't want to hear it. No, I need to hear it, obviously.

Can you, sorry, I believe you said something along the lines of I don't get enough praise for my ability not to learn stuff and you said that like it was a compliment. Yeah, and I meant it as one, so let's continue on. Yeah, so here's the thing. No, but we give the fact that I like, I'm not that good at keeping a secret, but I'm also, you know, really good's the thing. No, but we give the fact that I like I'm not that good at keeping a secret but I'm also, you know, really good at learning stuff I'm not supposed to learn

and finding out things that I probably don't want to find out. Okay, okay. So because I just I really. There's just so much to unpack in that one sentence that we could speak here all day. But continue and I agree this is a compliment to Tony. So it's also like how I always get got by stuff. Like if people tell me like something's a really good deal,

there's like a really salacious headline, I like have to click because they just get to me every time. A marketer's dream. I am a marketer's dream. And so recently Deadpool and Wolverine has come out. It's like a huge fucking film. Talking about a marketer's dream, that's just been everywhere. It's everywhere.

And as soon as it came out, well, when it was coming out, I said to Torbz, like, we need to see this really early because I'm not a big, like, Marvel superhero girl, but I really like the Deadpool films. And there'd been a lot of chat about who might cameo in it and things like that. There's no spoilers coming by the way for anybody that maybe hasn't seen it yet um but there'd been all this chat and i was

like i really don't want it to get ruined for myself because i will click on a headline it's like you won't believe who's in the new deadpool film and i'll click on it and then i'll go why did i do that yeah and so your strategy is see it straight away, don't fuck it for myself. Don't fuck it for myself. Because I've seen people lock their phone in another room because I'll check the football score. Yes. But I'm going to watch it later.

But I want to watch it later. So you're like, no, your strategy is just fucking get in there. Also growing up in WA, like the final of Australian Idol would happen like three hours before it played in WA. So if people started like posting online, that wasn't really a thing when I was a kid. Congratulations, Anthony Kaliya. Yeah, he didn't even win.

On coming third. Yeah, he came second. Casey Donovan won. I really like Australian Idol. Anyway, so this really is a bit of a crossover of TARP niche. I don't want to explain event diagram, but it's secret chat, it's me being impatient, but it's secret chat, it's me being impatient, and it's cinema crimes.

You know how I am with the cinema. I like to sit very still, I like to be very cold, I like it very silent. And so Torbs and I, like, it is chockers because we went opening weekend. It's absolutely packed. We couldn't get tickets to a cinema anywhere near us. We ended up having to go to Richmond. Shit. Yeah, we looked at all the cinemas around our area.

How was the old gal? It was nice. We went to VJ, Vic Gardens. Shout out. Shout out. Anyway, so we, like, travelled into Richmond. Yeah, into the city to see the film. Into town to watch the pictures.

Yeah. And it's fucking absolutely packed out. Like, there's not a single person not sitting next to someone and we're sitting there and we're silent and I'm like, here we go, it's opening weekend. So only people that are hell keen are going to be here. This group of like six people walk in after the previews have started, which I hate.

There was a starting time on the ticket? Yeah. Oh, imagine if you – they should just not print that. Just come in whenever you want. Not only do they walk in talking and having fun, which is completely unacceptable. Yeah. They walk in each with a bag of KFC.

Fuck yeah. Fuck yeah. No. I love that. Oh my God. I love that for them. I hate that for everyone else because the smell of KFC. That's the thing.

Were you jealous or were you angry? Both. No, but like. Were you angry that you didn't have KFC? Well, I'm sitting there with popcorn. They're sitting there with popcorn chicken. I mean, who's the real winner here? Do you know what I mean?

It's not you. Well, popcorn is awesome. But when I can smell KFC, I'm like. And the movie started at like seven. So, it's like dinner time. Yeah. And I'm like, and the movie started at like seven, so it's like dinner time. And I'm like, oh, we didn't eat before we came because we were like, oh, we might get something on the way home or, you know. Anyway, and we're sitting in there and then all of a sudden I've sat there

for so long thinking about that. We're halfway into the movie and I've gone, fuck, I've got no idea what's going on because I've been thinking about them this whole time. I blacked out and then I'm like, hang on, what's going on? The movie's already started. They're on the screen. They're still talking and eating their KFC.

I've gone into a time warp. So how's the movie? Yes, we've got the zinger. Yeah, so have you had KFC recently? They're like, what? I had the supercharged sauce, which I thought was an interesting choice. Which was really good, yeah. Yeah, you know how they only do Pepsi there?

They don't do Coke. God, you know. Ryan told me the other day it's because, you know, they used to own it and then they sold it and they said, you've got to sell Pepsi for 40 years. Pepsi. Business facts. Business facts.

Is that on the podcast? No, I don't think so. I think you told me in the kitchen. Guys, Pepsi used to own KFC and then they sold it and. I just said it. Yeah. I just said the fact. Business facts, yeah.

You don't have to say the fact again. Fact, fact. Yeah. Coming once a year, end of the year at Christmas time. Anyway, so I'm sitting there and I've just gotten so distracted because I just love ruining shit for myself and I've sat there like, what are they talking about? What are they-

Were they youths? I just can't let it go. Nah, they were probably like- Youthier than us? Youthier than me. Maybe like 25 to 30. They were grown up. So are you implying that maybe the movie is still open to be spoiled for you?

Or you're not in a position to spoil it for others because you don't know either? Nah. Like where are we landed? That's a really good question, actually. I mean, you don't know what you don't know. Yeah. There could be heaps of stuff that I missed. How does that cameo and you go, what?

I go, when was that? They go, yeah, in the first five minutes. I go, oh, I didn't see that because someone had KFC. I've got to love to see it here. Amazing. First of all, let me, sorry, I'm putting you in all sorts of positions today. A lucky girl. You go to your local servo.

Yep. Say it's 7-Eleven. You fill up with gas. Mine's not a 7-Eleven. It's like an independent one. Is that okay? You go to an independent servo. There's like a kebab place next to it.

You know how sometimes they park a kebab like the trailer? Welcome to the Northside, baby. Fuck, it's good. Yeah, it's really good. You go there. You fill up with fuel. You go there, you fill out with fuel, you buy a Diet Coke from a can inside the bottle-o, the servo.

Sorry, that's a different place. And then you get a kebab-y on the way out. Fucking touch me. Now that sounds, you should have had it on the way to the cinema. Imagine taking a fucking kebab into the garlic sauce. And wear a white t-shirt. sauce oh that's the ultimate white shirt challenge

um you go in there to get your diet coke and pay for your gas oh nice and it's the middle of the night because you know you're a fucking hoon i would never but yes um and the lady behind the counter is asleep oh my god is okay? It's just like doing the graveyard shift. No one's come through for a while. Just falling asleep. What do you do? Very gently wake her up and make sure that she's safe. And

then I'd just be like, oh, I just wanted to make sure you're alright. Do you need anything? Can I buy you a Diet Coke? I'd probably be like, do you want me to watch The Register for 10 minutes? You'd go to the bathroom and stuff and then come back. That's probably what I'll do, actually. That's very nice. That's very nice.

Maya, I'd love to see it, which I've just sent you. Oh, hang on. This man was faced with the same predicament. And it says his family raised him with very good morals. How does he scan all his own stuff? So basically he's just let the girl keep sleeping because obviously she must need the rest. So he's got himself a drink and paid for his gas

and then he's like scanned the thing. But how did he scan all his own stuff? And then he holds up the receipt to the camera and just goes, all good, and just lets her be. That's, I don't know if that's better though. Isn't it? If someone's asleep, oh, she needs the rest. Tough job.

Yeah. I don't want to interrupt. Oh. I mean, it's sweet that he pays for the stuff. He could just drive away, I guess. That is really nice. You do love to see that. Yeah.

Well, you're not sure. You're more of a wake up. I probably wake up just to be like, are you all right? Or have you like passed out because you're like not well or something? For you listening at the moment, a lot of people listen in their car. If you have to get gas and you fill up and you go into pay and Tony works there, that's why. Yeah, because someone's just gone to the bathroom.

All good. Yeah. But I'll figure it out. Yeah. I don't know how to take FPOS, but I could figure that out. FPOS takes itself these days. Exactly right. I just say, pay how you feel.

Yeah. How much do you reckon people put in? How much do you reckon it was? And then people just beep. Yeah, that's fine. They go, oh, just a dollar. It was just a dollar that I just need a little bit. Yeah.

Okay. All good. I just needed a quarter of a litre. It was only a dollar. Who am I to judge? It's very expensive fuel these days. Economic shock. But I love to see that.

That's very sweet. It is nice that he let her sleep. I've got to love to see it here from Jay Nooch on Twitter. The guy I'm seeing is getting his hair cut before he goes to the shelter to rescue a dog because he wants the dog to think his new dad is handsome. Isn't that so silly? So, like, well, first impressions count. Oh, 100%.

So what about this, though? What? Then some get, I'm assuming it was like a scruffy dad who just, like, tidied himself up. Well, he goes, yeah, I'm going to go get a haircut so that, you know, I look like a good dad and they give me the dog that I want and stuff. And then over the next few weeks, you know, the facial hair grows back, the hair gets a bit rougher and the dog goes,

before I moved in, he was on top of things. Yeah. Ever since I've moved in, he's now a dishevelled mess. What have I done to this man? He goes, I got dog fished. Instead of catfish. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's good.

Yeah, that is good. He's out there dogfishing dogs in the pound. And the cats and the cradle and the silver spoon. I do love to see that. You've got to put your best foot forward. How did you dress when you went and reclaimed? What was Pippa's birth name? Melody.

Yeah. She's actually not a stripper. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. She's so not a stripper. Isn't that crazy? Yeah. She's so not a Melody. Did you tell her you're going to rename her in front of her? The woman actually said, don't feel bad about keeping that name.

And you go, well, we won't because that's awful. And I was like, thanks for your blessing. But it was because you remember when after we got Pippa and I was like, because the lady needed, like couldn't keep Pippa anymore. And I was like, oh, but we're actually going to New Zealand in like a month just for five days. Like is there any chance that you could?

And she goes, I'll take her back. Absolutely. She already knows us and whatever. And, boy, wasn't it awkward when we went back there. And she goes, hello, and didn't want it back in her name because she's like, I know that you've changed. And I was like, this is Pippa. And she was like, oh, beautiful.

I was like, oh, my God. I thought you were going to say she was like Melody. Yeah, but she's like, oh, have you renamed her? I don't want to say anything. I'm like, this is Pippa. She's like, oh, yeah, my name is a bit better. That's okay. You backed that one in, did you?

Yeah, oh, Pippa. That's what you've chosen. You know it means fucking Swedish. Yeah. But if she's a stripper, Pippa. That's what you've chosen. You know it means fucking Swedish. Yeah. But if she's a stripper, Pippa doesn't sound right. Yeah, is that okay? Anyway. What's your dog's stripper name?

I can't remember what I was wearing. I think I was just wearing like this. I think I was just wearing pants and a jumper. And Pippa still went home with you. I know. Yeah, well, she was naked. She wasn't wearing anything. Nudie Rudy.

Well, she was a stripper. Her name was Melody. She was on the clock. Tomorrow, confessions. This is what a confessor said. This young lady who listens to the show. I accidentally gaslit my boyfriend into thinking dot, dot, dot, and I'll fill in the blank tomorrow.

But her boyfriend has this new belief. Oh, no. And it was sort of accidentally over time. She's like, oh, and I'll fill in the blank tomorrow. But her boyfriend has this new belief. Oh, no. And it was sort of accidentally over time, but she's like, oh. She's like, oh, we're back this year. I've done something to this man. Oh, no. Yeah. All right.

I'll share that with you tomorrow. Have a good one. Love you. Bye.