Toni and Ryan - Don't Put THIS In The Dishwasher

Episode Date: September 15, 2026

Ryan's new fit - Washing fuckups - Dr. Toni's email - love ya!!!!!How often are we washing our jeans? be honesthttps://stemwave.com/slap mac app - https://slapmac.com/Tell us what you reckon in the episode thread in our FACEBOOK GROUPWatch and subscribe on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan and get in the group chat with us!!!Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

We were out of dishwasher tablets, so I just squirted a bunch of in instead. That's really tough. That's really tough. And left the... Oh, came back to the kitchen. The machine was foaming at the seams. And by the end of the day, once the room finally dried, the kitchen looked amazing. Hi, I'm Megan.

And this is Tilly. We're from Michigan. Hi, I'm Sammy Knudson from Rochester, Minnesota. Hi, I'm Abby from Sydney. And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Author, bestselling Dr. Author, new Jimgoer, Tony Lodge. Pleasure to have you in today.

Thank you so much. Thank you for coming in today. My best friend, Ryan John. Thank you. Thank you. Appreciate it. Yeah. I found, you know, when you just find a new word and you go,

why haven't we been using this all along? Yeah. And it just really pre-do. Do you know what I'm about to show you? I don't. But... I just wonder if this algorithm found you as well. Oh, I wonder.

Yeah. But, you know, when you find a new word or you hear like new slang. that you like. Yeah. And you drop it in for the first time and all your friends go, that's not something you normally say. Oh. And you get called out.

Like, say if I, oh, fuck, I don't even know what, like. If I did anything new here, you would destroy me. No, but I would be like, that's new. Like yesterday you sent me an emoji on Slack and I went, oh, emoji. Didn't we hear about that? You know? Oh, an emoji on Slack. What's good?

It's a Christmas in fucking September. That's different. It's different for Ryan. It's like the time I wore a singlet. Well, I was. there and that made international news. It did. Still different.

If you do it again, still different. I was on a website the other day. Congratulations. They're huge these days, aren't they? Everywhere. The internet? Yeah. It's happening.

Oh, my people are talking about it. Dot com. I've seen it. I bought some. Chapter.com. Because it's the end of summer in the UK. I found this company that does like funky swimming shorts. Cool.

But it's the end of summer. So they're having like their clearance. And I was like, it's coming into a summer in Australia. Gotcha. Anyway, so I bought some fun shorts to swim in and they're like, do you want the matching singlet? Like a little set, you know, little shorts, little singlet for the beach. And I went to click yes.

And then I was like, Charles will bully me. He will. Well, I mean, a matching singlet and shorts feels crazy. Let me find the website. Yeah, I want to say it. Because I want to say it. Because I think right now the visual that I've got is not right. It's not.

Happy Strides. Happy Strides. That's a fun name. A great UK company. UK Strights? UK Strides? UK Strides? Oh, yeah.

Colourful, colourful, colourful town. Yep. That's very fun. Now, Charles, go to shop buy. Oh, no, category. Oh, you're in the short section. Go back to the top. Yeah, we're in shorts.

Singlets. Buy other stuff. Buy tops. Crop. Do I want a crop top? No, I don't. Vests. Vests. Oh, that's what they call it there. Oh.

Could you imagine if I got the same short? Say the pink one with the love hearts? That would be me. Oh, yeah, go on that guy. Oh, yeah, go to that photo. Oh, they're actually out of stock of it. That's so crazy. That is surprising.

And there's my card number. Oh. Oh, shame. It's very easy for you to add to cart, though, Charles. That's good. Well, that's my work. I do think that the top of it up. I do think that the top.

and shorts is maybe like not the vibe. But if you liked the pattern, you could wear them separately. You know what I mean? Because if they're swimming shorts, does that mean that the singlet is like swimming material? No. Because I wouldn't want to. Yeah, nah.

Because it wouldn't be like a speedo singlet, right? Well, if they match, then isn't it the same material? Does it say, Charles, what the material is? I'm actually not a scientist. But do you know what I'm saying? I kind of do, yeah. Yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, It's bathers material.

On a singlet. Yeah. So I think that is a bit random. Personally, I wouldn't like the texture of that. Great chat. Good chat. Yeah. Good chat.

Good chat. Good chat. Did get a lot of shorts though. Great. So get ready for a colourful summer. I like that. And get ready for, if you're watching the podcast on YouTube, and they're like, you know. So question, are you moving away from a budgie smuggler?

I think I just wanted some variety. Okay. I also think like budgie smuggler have their own specific style. Yeah. And so I just wanted to like see what else is around just so I can like mix it up. Because it's going to be a wet summer. And by wet summer, I mean, I'm going to be in the water every day from now till April. No, and I love it.

And I can't just keep wearing the same three budgie smugglers because they're getting over me. Yeah. Yeah. Do you also reckon that like if you've got your budgie smugglers on, you need shorts to put over the top to like go to the shops or whatever as well? That, that, that, yeah. It's the combo. Yeah, or like, when we go to Fiji, if I'm in like,

because we're going with all the tarpers. If I go with shorts on. Yep. I can jump in the water with Mabel. And then we go, hey, should we go over to the bar and get a Coke? And I go, yeah, I'll just walk over. But you're not just going to like,

sit at the bar in budgy smugglers. Totally. I mean, if you could do it anywhere, you could do it in Fiji, but yes, I said it same. Or like if Charles and I, we're all going on the jet skis, I wouldn't just like,

have budgie smugglers and a life jacket. That is so funny. You know what I mean that? Yeah. So I'm like, oh, I need some versatile swimmers. No, I love it. That are crazy colours and have a matching single. Sorry, my head's got stuck in my microphone. No, that's great.

So I found a new word. Oh, yes. It's budgey smugglers. It's budgey smugglers. No, bring it up, Charles. It is contortionist. A who's personally caused significant harm, yet somehow can contort the story in themselves.

into the aggrieved party. These infuriating perpetual victims are skilled at truth bending and blame shifting. They have an incredibly selective memory and can remain fully convinced of their own victimhood and bullshit even when presented with clear, substantial, contradictory evidence. Can I please just add a disclaimer?

The other day on the pod, you said, we've worked with an Elizabeth Holmes type. Someone messaged on Patreon and said, does he mean you? No. And I said, oh my God, absolutely not. Absolutely not. And this is also not me.

No. No. But I would like to send a... Did you make this up? Because that's very good. The word or the graphic? Oh, I know you made the graphic. Because I can hardly read that hell viticru it so close together.

So I know you made it. Thank you. Appreciate it. Which I love. My commitment to... Did you make the word? No, I saw it and I said... That's amazing.

It's a great word. and here's the thing let's put this online I want to send a shout out to the two people who have DMs to each other they don't even need to say who it's about Oh I know Yeah I know you know and I know too

Because they're a DJ They're good at spin and shit That's amazing I have never seen that before But I'm sure someone else has said it Didn't realize I was working with fucking Diplo over here That's amazing

Thank you so much For saying that That was Diplo is jacked and so much She's in the gym. She's in the gym and on the phone. Yeah, I'm on the phone. I'm on the gym.

Jungle gym. But there's a new word for you. I like contortionist. Yeah. Question, quick logistics chat. How are we talking about beeping contortionist? Well, we'd only beep the word. If we're on its own.

Yeah, but contortionist. That's a different word. That's fair game. And thank you for bringing that to our attention. You're welcome. And I agree with you. People have sent them and gone, don't even need to reply.

Don't even. even need to open it, you know exactly who they're talking about. I already know who you're talking about. And wasn't that a horrible time working with her? Um, I didn't really learn that much about finance. Neither did they. Yeah. Clazy. Clazy. Crazy. Crazy. Clazy. Lots of people have come to the, not defense of your husband torbs for destroying your jumper in the laundry, shrinking it to so small that your French bulldog can now wear it. Should we get the jumper? Is it still here? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not fucking taking it home.

No. Charles said we should get it framed and pop it up on the wall and I said, I'm not really ready for that yet. Bring in the jumper. Thank you. This is the jumper. It used to fit a person. Yep.

Now it fits an ant. Has that stretched out a little over the last few days? Oh my God. It's so sad. So a lot of people, it's not in sympathy for your husband, but there's a lot of people going, hey, I've also made some mistakes in the law,

whilst cleaning and in the laundry. And so in like, Solidarity. Solidarity. Yeah. God, you had contortionists from contortionist reading to go

that solidarity was next door. Liz Smith. Oh, hi Liz. I went to school with a girl called Elizabeth Smith. That's really crazy because it's the most generic

girl name. I know. So did I. It's Susie Smith's sister. Oh, well, but Elizabeth Smith went by Elizabeth. That's... Like you couldn't call her Liz.

Like she was a little. Elizabeth Smith and she was in the, she played in the band. I think there was an Elizabeth in our primary school. And then I didn't see, you know, going to different high schools, run into her like a few years later. I was like, oh, Elizabeth. And it was like, it's Lizzie now. I like Lizzie.

Same bit. But it was like, I knew Elizabeth. And I was like, well, that's not. Yeah. It's like when someone called Allison starts going by Ali and you go, oh, or stops going by Ali. And you go, Ali, hey. Oh my God.

How much seen you. She goes, it's Allison now. And I went, Oh, okay. And you know what, Slay, our names identify us.

I completely understand, but you just go, oh, something's happened here. Did you start studying journalism or something? Yeah. Lottie, who I went to high school,

when... She's a Charlotte now. She's gone back to Charlotte. Yeah. I respect it. I respect it. I respect it. I like a Lottie, though.

I like it a Lottie. Imagine if my name was Lottie, Lottie Lodge. Hello, I'm Lottie Lottie Lodge. You are a lotie. I'm a perfect amount. Not enough. More.

Liz Smith. Hi, Liz. We were out of dishwasher tablets, so I just squirted a bunch of dish soap in instead. That's really smart. I would employ you to. Shut the fuck up. Your judgment until the completion of just one more sentence, actually. Yeah, okay.

Came back to the kitchen. The machine was foaming at the seams, and the whole kitchen felt like that scene from Willie Wonka where they're in the floating bubbles room. By the end of the cycle, the dishes were very clean And by the end of the day, once the room finally dried, The kitchen looked amazing. Oh.

Well, yeah, I guess it foams up and like a dish tablet doesn't. Yeah. Yep. And that's a bit of a common theme today. Oh. Yeah, but how are you jumpers, Liz? I'll leave that with you. Yeah.

Another Elizabeth. This is Vanessa Elizabeth. Vanessa Elizabeth. Oh, my God. Oh, a lot of people still putting oven racks in the bath to clean them because an oven rack

it's often too big to like really get some purchase and get it in the sink and so people go oh I'll just chuck it in the bath and let it soak sure I mean I've never done that but yep I guess people would Vanessa says when I was pregnant and running on one brain cell

I popped the oven racks into the bath turned the bath on lobbed in a few dishwasher tablets and just walked off sure like as it was filling you need to let it soak but because of where she was at she just sort of forgot about it baby brain yeah and like started cooking dinner

or something and just whatever next thing water overflowing from the tub carpet and skirting boards drenched dog sliding down the hallway and it wasn't just water it was oven crust water like oily fucking old pork roast fat

yeah a bit of like sausage skin burn just cracks it onto the side there God you've never used an oven in your life No, never. I could tell. I burst into tears while my husband grabbed the towels. That's it. I'm glad that the other person in the home was like, no, I've got this.

You would feel awful. I thought you were going to say. She forgot she'd put the oven racks in there and went, I drew myself above, like hopped in and the like racks were underneath. She's all, what fuck is that? Bits of my butt coming through the. Well, she's like, I popped the rack. in and threw a bath bomb in from Lash.

Yeah. And just thought, oh, that'd be lovely later. Yeah. And then the next week, everything's tasting a bit. Yeah, you go, oh, that's a bit weird and glittery, isn't it? Slightly lavenderish. Yeah. That's strange.

Kelly Veach. Hi, Kelly. I washed my partner's pants. Didn't know he had a winning tab ticket in the pocket. 200 bucks we'll never see. Oh. That's on him. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, you can't be leaving shit in your pockets. Do you, do you check pockets before you take your pants off or is that like whoever does the washing straw? Wow. Wow. Is it? Aren't more jokes on you neither because I don't wash pants. No, that's, that's what I meant. But do you check, do you check your? No, but like.

Oh, you don't put them through the wash. You shoot yourself a lot. Jeans. Well, they need a wash eventually. How often are you washing jeans? Um, like four or five months. Nah, probably two weeks. Probably every two weeks, I'd say.

I, like, wear my jeans most days. On my black jeans, I've got still a bit of tomato sauce from that pub on the corner in Latvia. That's disgusting. And what am I going to not remember our great time in Riga? The thing about not washing jeans, though, is that like, you, it's like, oh, you only need to wash them if they're dirty. So if they get dirty, you should wash them. So true.

Like the thing about not needing to wash jeans is that it's like, oh, don't wash them if you don't, but if you spill something on them, you should definitely wash them. Totally. That's really gross. Shout out to Riga. Marissa Brown.

Hi, Marissa. It just nothing could be as bad as what you've just said. Is that a challenge? Because I, Mom asked me to mop the floor. I think Marissa was like in high school at the time. Sure. Mum asked me to mop the floor and I didn't know what cleaner she used.

All I knew is that it got soapy. The floor does not get soapy. Well like the, like when you mix the mop bucket, but there's a bit of something in there. She's like, okay, there's something in there. So I went with dishwashing liquid. If we learn anything today, Dishwashing liquid soaps right up.

It's the enemy. The floor. turned into an ice rink. We were sliding around for days. Because it would take a, you wouldn't be able to like get, because every, if you rewet it,

it would just get soapy again. It took five mops to undo this, like, after the four times had gone over it, it was still like, mom was furious. But, I mean,

great way to get it and never ask again. But for us kids, we had so much fun. Imagine having an ice skating rink in your own house. Yeah, that is fun. Greatest week of our life. Yeah.

And she's never going to ask you to, do it again. Weaponized incompetence. Yeah. I don't know how to use a washing machine. Nah, sorry. Nah, I love you. I'm just going to read a message.

Uh-huh. Someone, because you know how I said, I'll do anything if someone can find this jumper. The jumper that has been destroyed. Yes. Which is a very sweet offer, by the way. Well, maybe I'm about to find out it wasn't. No, someone goes, I've got it. Oh, amazing.

Um, I've got the pink version in a size 10. Where should I send it? Size 10. Oh, I don't know. Now, on a scale of thank you to kick a slut while she's down. Yeah, a size 10. I mean, what I will say is that mine... It's currently a size 10.

Yeah. Well, someone commented and said, I've got it in a size small. I said, so do fucking eye. I don't. Look at it. Look at the fucking jumper, bitch. Like I'm seeing it. It is a small.

Yeah. But whilst mine was too big, I could probably go like two or three sizes down. I'm not doing it at 10. Yeah. I reckon, no, I think that the small, I would go a 14. Okay. But a 10. Well, the email comes through and we're like, thank you.

No, I need a six. Yeah. Sorry, too big. Yeah, it's probably been too big for me. Yeah, the problem with this is that it's too big now. Yeah. stretched it out. I prefer it much smaller than this.

Yeah, that photo with the dog wearing it, that was my German shepherd. That was actually an elephant wearing her. Don't worry about it. Hi, I'm Sammy Knudsen from Rochester, Minnesota. Hi, I'm Megan, and this is Tilly. We're from Michigan. Hi, I'm Abby from Sydney.

And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Hello, welcome back. We're on the jumper network. All sizes welcome. Massive shout out to a few of our champion tarpers over at our Patreon. Thank you so much to Daisy Davidson. Great fucking name. Favorite double Ds I know.

That is lovely. Mads, good on your Mads. Taylor Webster, like the dictionary, I guess. Shana Weidner, like the Weidner, I guess. Jack, Shannon Coyle, good on you, Shannon. Betty G. Betty G. And Jasper Graham.

Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. Thanks, Jasper. Appreciate it. Now, back in the day when you and I worked in radio, and anybody that's ever like worked in media, you kind of end up in these weird lists and you get these random bursts of P, not PR to like get free stuff

because that's what you think it's going to be. You sign up and you think you get put on this PR list and it means that Rimmel's going to send you a free eyeliner every two weeks. It's not that. It's like, oh, this person's just written a book. book, would you be interested in having them on your podcast or your radio show or whatever? And after working in radio as a producer, I then was working somewhere else in the finance area. And I started kind of getting like finance ones of like, oh, would you be interested in this product or

this person or this book or whatever? And I've slowly kind of over time taking myself off those lists. I'm like, I've sent to people like, oh, I don't actually work in media anymore. I'm not like, I'm not doing this. Do you think it's passive aggressive? Because sometimes I think I'm being a dick when I go, hi,

thanks for reaching out. Can you please take me off the list? Take me off this list, yeah. Is that fair? Or do you just kind of like fluff it up a little bit? Because sometimes I'm like, oh, I'm just,

but after the fucking 30th one, you're like, and your inbox, you're wasting your own time. I'm not going to. And even like, because we get people that are like, oh, obviously send a blast out to like people with podcasts, right?

Yeah. And they go, oh, um, this person has just. written a book about family dynamics. I think they'd be great for your show. But they just email people with a podcast and they don't know what our show's about that maybe that's not really of interest to us or our audience or that we don't

really do guests. And so you get them and you kind of go, oh, you've just sent this to everyone and that's fine, but please don't send them to me again. Yeah. Yeah. The financing is crazy because people go, this person's got a new investment strategy. I'm sure that your audience would love to hear it. And I go, well, you've not listened to this.

That's not really what we're about. What's the best finance advice we've given? Probably Qantas points related. Yeah. Like getting good at points. Like how can systems for points? And it's like, oh, finance strategies. And we go, yeah, so.

So what tier are you? Between us, we've bought a lot of stuff. And if it comes to saving money. This is just like probably not for you. And I think that we also buy silly stuff, you know. it's okay. Where does your investment author stand on stand-up paddle boards? Yeah, because I've bought two in my life and used one once.

So if you could get back to me on that, not technically financial advice, I guess, but just wondering if you address that in your podcast. Chapter one, stocks, chapter two, index funds, chapter three, stand-up paddle boards. And let me know if there's anything else you'd like me to add as a doctor of finance myself. But so I'm kind of immune to these emails, but I don't get them. very much anymore. The other day, I opened up my emails and I've got this fucking cracker. And I go, oh my God, they've Googled something for me to end up on this particular list,

but I can't really figure out what exactly they've Googled. And I'm going to give you the email. Okay. And what I've got to guess what they've Googled? I think we can probably figure it out. Okay. Okay. But I've got it printed here for you.

and it's very official like PDF saved down from my email. If you want to read out the beginning of the, it starts strong. And it starts strong and just get better. Hi, Dr. Tony. Thank you. Thank you very much. I came across Tony and Ryan today. Put a towel down.

As we're dinner first. And I was curious if you're keen on exploring new ways to bring additional cash revenue and improve patient outcomes in your practice. So in the beginning, you kind of go, oh, you've Googled Doctors with a podcast. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But then they mentioned the practice. And I go, they think we're a doctor's surgery. Yeah. Read on. Are we allowed to say the name of their business? Yeah, I'm going to say it. Stemwave is now in more than 900 clinics nationwide. They've sent it from America.

So not our nation. That's okay. It's in 900 clinics in a nation. Not your nation. Not my nation. It's non-invasive, highly effective. That's how I described my sex life. It's not invasive.

Well, actually, it is invasive. It's non-invasive, highly effective and only takes three to five minutes. I wish I'd have to read that next bit. Yeah, I was like, you're going to love this. For new clinics, we make it easy. We plan the device in your office for 60. days and if you don't add 5,000 to 25,000 and get the results other are seeing, you can return it at no charge.

Well, that's actually got me interested. Because all of a sudden, we could try this for free. Yeah. Should I send more information? Oh, fuck off. Thank you. This last line has done me the fucking. I appreciate that.

Sent from iPhone. You've sent that on the go. You've got all the information wrong and you've sent it what in your car? Like what are you talking? Cynthia Handel, Head of Sales. So I've got the, I've got, this is the website of the thing. I thought that as a group we could decide whether we want to move forward. The future of care is in your hands.

So, engineered with pace. What I understand it to be is that it's like a vibration, like muscle stimulator kind of want and they run it down like muscles. So it says like it's for athletes, but it's also for like older people that need some relief in their muscles and stuff like that. The craziest thing of all of this is I think I'm interested.

I'm seeing this. Well, I mean, I can email her back. She's very open to her. All right. Here's the response. Gide, champion. We're in. Cynthia.

Tony from Tony and Ryan. our practice would love one. If we can't get five to $25,000 in more patient revenue this month, where do we send it back to? Yeah. Or maybe add the return envelope. Add the return on the loan. Oh, Brian Johnson.

Oh, that guy that's going to live to be $3,000? Yeah. It's like, must work. So there's a few things in this. email that I think are important to point out. Hi, Dr. Tony. Obviously, that is correct. So no problems there. I came across Tony Ryan today. So I'm like, okay. Did you? You've, well, did you? Well, how have you come across it and then thought we were a doctor's surgery? Because my first thought was, have you Googled doctors with podcasts? And that maybe I would

understand how that's come up, obviously, because of the Dr. Tony Lodge bag. Are you a doctor on LinkedIn. Can you check Charles? But then to think that I had a practice, I'm like, have you got this so wrong? Like, no, just co-host. Muscles, be a bird in charge. Dr. Throat. Did you didn't realize your job title on LinkedIn was Dr. Throat? Fuck, dude. We're trying to run a fucking business here. That's a lot even for me. Dr. Throat. But if you go back up to the top trials actually scroll to the very top. Oh, someone's not catfishing anymore on LinkedIn.

There's a new photo. Thank you. Looking good. So I'm just curious as to how this came across. But if we're interested, we're able to try it for free. Is that what we would like for our practice? Would we like a stem wave machine? If any tarpa's listening or watching who live in Melbourne would like to come and be the first patient of the stem wave machine,

people are talking about it it's huge Brian Johnson's interested yeah he's probably going to come down to Heidelberg West and try it out can we just play the game

and just reply Just email back yeah absolutely sounds great when can you send it yeah or like oh we've got quite a small patient base

what does that you know like do you kind of go like what's your definition of small zero zero well I gave you a massage the other day that's one patient and I really needed it that day

I was just having one of those mornings that really brought me back. You know what? Don't say yourself short, Dr. Lodge. You're doing a lot of great work around here. Maybe I really, I'm doing a good job. I will watch this space, everyone. Yeah, so we might be the first in Melbourne to have a stem wave machine.

That is fucking crazy. I read the email and I was just like, oh, it's just another one of those things. Like they want us to have someone on the pod and they haven't listened, but they just, you know, and then I was like, it's not about the podcast. It's about our doctor surgery. I, sometimes when I'm in a mood, which, what? I've never. seen it.

I'll just, I'll email back when it's like a podcast interview thing. And they go, oh, hi, um, dentist so-and-so has got this new great way. They'd be perfect for your podcast. You know, that'd be great. Um, and I go, oh, thanks for reaching out. Um, what segment do you reckon? Do you just never hear back though? Uh, sometimes not.

And then other times they go, oh, all of them. I'm like, oh, would you like to do the top. five ways to say you need a shit. Yeah. We'd love for you to come in and tell us how you tell your family you're going to shit yourself. Yeah. From a medical perspective.

Fucking whoever. Another one that I've got a bit recently is they're like, they're always an expert. Oh. Are they all? It's like this cyber expert has created this new thing. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. They do blah, blah, blah, blah. And it kind of got to the bottom and I was like, I don't, what are you actually asking for?

You've just told me about this guy. What are you doing? No, but it's not like that'd be great on the show or do you want to sign up. They were just like. They just letting you know. But at the bottom, it's like, let me know if you're interested. And I'll reply and go, this is, again, I go, this is great. What are you actually asking for?

Yeah, and they don't know. And then she replied and goes, what do you mean? And I go, no, what do you mean? No, what do you, answer Spider-Man? Yeah, I was like, sounds great. What are you, are you pictures? a webinar, a podcast guest, are you trying to sell?

Like, it sounds great. Like, tell them, what do I do? Yeah. She's like, yeah, it's fantastic.

And this one, this one particular one, I reckon you'll see the email show. I'm just like, I'm glad that you're spending your time wisely. I'm very busy. That's great to know. I'm very busy.

Well, before you and Charles fucking sold me out because I never do anything with this business. Oh, no. Well, Ryan's doing so much. I didn't sell you out. You sold yourself out and I agree. Which is very different.

Very different. And I'm just pointing a pen in someone else's direction. No one respects me. People want to put things in my doctor's surgery. People want to put things in your lots of things. Hey, and thank you for saying that. I've got to you love to see it here, which is a pump up for Tony Lodge. Yes.

Because I feel like I've been like nudging and angling you into a hobby or encouraging a hobby. Restoring furniture. This is from Vinnie Gives. Graves, R-I-P. Vinny Graves. Yeah. What a great name. Come on down to Vinny Graves for a tattoo and a fucking pie.

You know what I mean? Like a random, like... Send me that email. Yeah. Good day, T-Done. I'm interested. I'm from tattoos and pies.com. I'll be there.

I've been wanting to redo my bathroom tiles for a really long time, but I haven't had the money. I've got those like really yellow textured, you know, from the 70s that were... and they're all a bit misaligned and a bit weird. Yep. The other day I went for my evening walk and someone had left these boxes and boxes of these smooth, dark grey vinyl floor tiles and it just said free to a good home.

And so Vinnie went, I'm going to do it. That's a sign from something that you should do that. That's amazing. It's a sign from Stemwave. Free to try. Today I spent eight hours cutting everything right, fitting everything measuring, getting the old bits out, putting the new bits down. Obviously, there's waterproofing and moulding and pipes.

Yep. I watched a lot of YouTube and just figured it out and did it. YouTube's awesome. Have you guys seen it? That is good. It's good. YouTube's sick. It was a long day, but now my bathroom looks sick. I'm so fucking proud of myself.

Oh, fuck yeah. So that you... He cut around that pipe? Yeah, so that used to be grimy, yellow, poo, weird, those little tiles from Oh. Look at the difference. Oh, Vinnie, you won't know yourself. Done by themselves for free because the stuff was free.

The only thing it cost them was an afternoon. Guys, Tony is thinking of being a bit silly at the bathroom at her house. It's got some really old tiles. It's fine. All good. But sometimes someone has a personality. And their bathroom needs to reflect that. They're white subway tiles.

Like, so there's nothing wrong with them. They're not cracked and it doesn't look bad. It's just too bright for me. Yeah. Like it's a bit like white building. Bring the white down. I need a bit of warmth or some colour. You know what I'm into?

And I think someone's mentioned this word this morning about talking about something else. Burgundy. Oh, yeah, Lily's going to, yes, Lily was talking about the new iPhone. Oh, but isn't that in a bathroom just a bit sexy? I love a burgundy in a bathroom. Yeah. Wild tone? Yeah.

If Vinny Graves can do it? Do you think, how hard do you reckon it would be to, like, crack off the old tiles and retiler? Probably not that hard, eh? I would love to come and crack off in your bathroom. Just give me a hammer, a chisel. Well, it kind of sounds fun. It's real fun. I've done it before, like, you know, as a kid or whatever.

Let's do it. Do you reckon? Yeah. How long do you reckon it would take? Oh, Vinny Graves did that in half a day. afternoon. I would want it to be start and finish

in the same day. But because you've got an onsuit, like in, it's not like you without bathroom. True. You know.

Yeah. You just use the other bathroom in that time. The bad thing. There's a long weekend next weekend. The bad thing about that though. We go to Bunnings. There's a long weekend coming up.

What I will say. And that is the perfect time. And you know my areas. I'm trying to get sucked in. The thing is that if I go, oh, it doesn't need to be finished. It won't be.

That's so true. So I actually need to. to be like, no, it's starting and ending this weekend or this whatever, because otherwise, it blows out. And then you're those people with the fucking half done bathroom for 10 years and. Yep. Next long weekend, which is next weekend. Like next weekend.

What's the one weekend for? Because AFL grand final. So everyone's got the Friday off. The Friday off. So Friday. That's fucking nice. And then you know that by Sunday R though, it must be complete. That is good.

That is good. It will eat into my hot dog eating time, though, for the grand final. I don't think you're using a bathroom right. No, because you've got to let the waterproof dry. So you just have to have it done by that time. Charles, who's fucking tidy one? Charles, are you going away for the long weekend? Do you want to come and help me?

I would love to. I would love to. If Hawthons not in the grand final, and fuck, I hope they are. Because they're playing this weekend and if we win we're in the grand final. But if we don't win, I reckon we're all in at lodges. And we're all tile. in a bathroom.

Yeah. We're all shitting in her onsuit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Another way to say you doing. We've all eaten eight hot dogs and we're down on toilet. Yeah.

And you know, it'll be like old school busy bee thing. I'll be like, I'll put on the Barbie if you guys help the, you know how that's what you used to do like. I would love that. I'll put the Barbie on. Let's get all the work done Saturday morning.

So when the game's on at least we can have our hot dogs watch the game. We're good to go. And then we'll get back into it. That's good. I'll bring the blow up mattresses. We'll all stay for the weekend. That actually sounds amazing. you'll do that?

Yeah. You're really agreeing to a lot of stuff. Do you remember when we did the types of... Oh, hot dogs and football. Oh, no. And saying at my best friend at Tony's house. But remember when we did the friend thing and you were a captain? And it was loves to make plans but doesn't really do them.

I just don't want you to hurt my feelings when you cancel on me. I don't want to get excited. I have said up front that if Hawthorne are in the grand final, I will be out of commission. Yeah, that's fine. But if they're not, you're there? This is a great consolation though. Because I go, oh, damn, we're on the grand final. Now I get to do that thing.

Yeah. Who's good of Tiling? Your dad? Yeah, I was going to say my dad would be good. Rod could come round. Rodney. I'd love it. Should I do my love to see it?

Sure. Yeah. This is actually quite funny and it does take a deviation from what we're talking about. It's not DIY related. Any hot dogs in this story? No, but... I'll find a way. It's horny in a different way.

Hugo sent this story on Patreon and said, Hey, Fab Tarp Team. I think everybody, at Tarp Tower should definitely install this app on the computer. I've got a video here. Okay, so this is my new favorite app. It's called Slap Mac. Slap Mac. And it's basically you slap your Mac and it makes sounds. And there's different sound packs. That's not real. It is. It is. How does it know? So there's an accelerometer in your MacBook

basically to protect the hard drive. Right. And they're somehow... Although... The goat one. Mabel is going to have a field day. You'll need a new computer. She'll fucking smack the shit out of it.

Me working at home. Isn't that so fucking funny? Not only that it exists, that's hilarious. But the fact that Hugo has gone, I'm going to use my Champion Tauper membership to message Tony about this fucking moaning app. I've actually got it on my iPad here. Oh yeah?

One second. I'll just turn it on. Yeah, just start it up. Yep. Can you just blow on my hand? For luck. Tricky, dinky. Sorry, I didn't know.

if you needed me, but you'd text Charles. Sorry, go again. Bit of a delay. Can you, wait, can we install our own sounds into it? Or it's just their pre? I actually, I don't know. I just saw that and I was like, we need to investigate. I think you can.

I've seen this online. It looks sick. It is $9.99 to buy it. Oh, that might be a deal breaker. Maybe we just get on the one computer. Hello? Who's this? Oh, today's office productivity.

You're not coming in today. Oh, sorry. Oh, and $70. to the Slut Mac app. Yeah. Isn't that so funny? Amazing. People are great.

How fucking stupid and whimsical is that? I love it. Whenever you think humanity sucks, just remember that someone in humanity made that. Slap Mac. Get amongst it. Slap Mac. Makes me want a Big Mac.

Does it? I know a guy. Slap me Big Mac. All right. See ya. We'll get back to you on the DIY. Oh, look how long that hair is. Oh, I dropped it.

See ya. It's one of mine, but my hair is just... From which end? The pussy. Love you. Are we still on? Nah, I don't know. I never know.