Toni and Ryan - Drive-In Toni

Episode Date: September 14, 2023

I'd like to go to a drive-in and RYAN NEEDS A FAVOUR. Love u! [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Hello! And we are going to South Australia. Ooh! Almost God's country. Almost. Not all the way across. And this is Georgia. Is this who I think it is?

Um, hello, is this Georgia? I'm calling from the power company. Um, just wanted to... Liz? Hello, is this Georgia? I'm calling from the power company. Just wanted to. Oh, my God, I've been so excited to talk to you all morning. Oh, thanks, Georgia. What are you up to? We can hear some clanging in the background. What are you, shaking a box of spoons or something?

No, it's my keys, my lanyard for school. Oh, is it a blue staff lanyard? It's not blue. It's pink. Of course. Of course it is. But yes, no, it's the school day, so everyone's coming in now. So I quickly ran outside.

Oh, lucky we called when we did. What do you teach, Georgia? I have a year three, four class for three days and then I work in the office doing leadership and literacy role. Oh, okay. What are you, like a curriculum coordinator or something? Yeah, a little bit like that. So I just make sure that everybody in the school knows what they're doing in English and supporting my school class. Sorry to interrupt, Georgia.

Tony's just leant back on her chair because she's so impressed that she just threw some random words out and it turns out they were right. Teaching shit. I know. My sister's a teacher. I know this stuff. She's leaning back going, I've just made that up and she agreed with it. Yeah, she went, yeah, Maddox, we like to.

Well, thanks for making Tony's day, Georgia. She's going to be insufferable from here on out. Yeah, I'm ready to go now. Georgia, do you mind approving this podcast? You don't need to. I have. Don't worry about it. Georgia, you hang up.

I'll approve it. My name's Tony and I approve the podcast. Hi, it's Georgia from South Australia and I approve this podcast. Yeah. Hi, it's Georgia from South Australia and I approve this podcast. All right, coming up today. Am I a needy friend? Do I ask for a lot? No, you actually ask for not enough and it makes me feel bad sometimes. Great.

I'm glad you've said that because I'm calling in a favour. Yeah. I'm calling in a favour. I feel like it's hard to ask for a favour until you know that it's even. Do you feel like who's even between the two of us? Not sexually, just genuine favours. I'd say that we are pretty, like we call on each other when we, you know. But is me calling in a favour, is that out of line?

No, not at all. It's not like I'm taking the piss. No, if anything, it makes me feel like, great, you need me. It's nice. I actually do need you. I actually really like that. Yeah, and actually I'm not going to blackmail you yet. I'll wait till we get there.

That's coming up soon. Earlier this week though. This is a video show, by the way. So for anybody that would like to watch this episode, you can do so in your Spotify app and you can stream it to your smart TV, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. And there's actually some visuals coming up later as well.

Oh, that you'll want to be a part of. I haven't seen it yet, but I'm told it's good. Earlier this week, some cinema going tarpers shared their cinema icks, including Tony, who was being coughed on. Well, now cinema worker Talia has had a few thoughts of her own. So it's similar. Straight from the horse's mouth. Yeah, but from the other side of the screen, of the projector room.

Behind the scenes? Sure. Is probably like what people would normally say. 100% correct. Four things here. What did you just say? Behind the screen of the cinema? Behind the projector screen.

Behind the projector screen! Shoshanna. It sounds a lot like, what was that show like behind the music? Yeah. And they would talk to like bands or whatever and they did a special episode of it in Josie and the Busy Cat. The movie. Yeah.

I remember things that are important. Now, I want you to say whether Talia, who's on the cinema's side of the argument. Do we know what cinema? No, but it's a smaller, she said it was like a smaller, it wasn't like a bigger, a hoist or a village in Australia or whatever the big ones are everywhere else.

But it was like a smaller community family run potentially. Oh, okay, sure. You know what I'd love to do? Go to the drive-in. No. We've talked about this. We've talked about this. It's terrible. Oh, it, sure. You know what I'd love to do? Go to the drive-in. No. We've talked about this. We've talked about this. It's terrible.

It seems so fun. You just don't want to get out of your Audi. No, I just think it would be nice to, like, get set up. Like, if you had a big car or, like, even a ute or something and you could, like, sit in the back and, like. I'd say it would be a great drive-in experience if you could drive in but sit on your own couch in the lounge room. Well, that's just Netflix, isn't it?

Yeah. And when you get three minutes into a movie, you go, this sucks. I'm in my car. When at home, I can have any movie in the world I want in the comfort of my own house. I can't hear anything. But it's still a nice experience. There's like youths hanging out at the food stalls and they're like,

they're talking to you and you've got to like walk past the teenagers and they're probably like laughing and you're like, oh, fuck, are they laughing at me? And then you can't hear it and you've got to tune into the radio and you don't know what that is. You've got to leave the car on accessory so your battery runs flat, you get scared. Yeah.

Oh, yeah, I'd be anxious the whole time that the car was going to run out. Yeah, you'd be like trying to get a finger if there's a gear stick in the way, like, yeah. It sounds fun though, doesn't it? It does, but it's not. The idea of going to the drive-in sounds like something that like. It does. Like it sounds like a fun day. And that's how they suck you in and that's why I'm like, this is fun.

Let's go. And then I went and I'm like, this sucks. But you hate stuff. Like I know you think that I'm sad, but you don't like leaving the house either. No. But I think the drive-in would be fun because it's like more private. You know what else is private? Yeah, but like it's still the fun of like going out.

But you like you can't hear other people talking, which is something that I hate. Yeah, you can. Can you? But you're in the car. Because you're right next to another car. Yeah, then they're chatting. And they go, oh, it doesn't matter because I'm in my car.

No one else can hear me. We can. Oh, yeah. And people are walking past your car to go and get food or take a piss and you're like distracted. Actually, I know I sound like a poo-pooer. Just go and then come back and you go, yeah, I kind of suck. Should I go to the drive-in?

In Coburg, yeah. Yeah, I don't know if I could do it in my car because I don't know. Too fancy? Too nice? No, no, no, no. I don't know if it would be comfortable. Like I feel like you need like a big car to like settle in in. Yeah.

Or like to be able to, like I said, sit in the back of like a ute or something. Back in a pickup truck? As bad as that sounds. Like, yeah, I feel like. And if you were in the tray of you, then Pippa could be there and she could snuggle in. I think that would be really fun. But then you couldn't hear it because you need to listen to the car radio.

Oh, for fuck's sake. You know what? Please go and report back. And this isn't me being a dick. I'm just curious to know if you dislike it. Oh, but I'm just going to come back and be like, oh, I thought it was so. No, I can't lie. Like you, the thought of it seems

awesome. The idea of it seems great. And like when you see people that have done it like on TikTok or Pinterest or whatever... Social media's on the highlights! But you know what I mean? Like it looks so fun and it's like, oh, you can take a platter with you and whatever. It seems so great. You know where else you can take a platter?

To your own couch. Yes, I understand. I'm saying, though, that the joy of leaving your home. There's no joy in that for me. And you told me that I was sad the other week. Staying at home is great. Society said that. I'm just saying that I think it might be

nice to do something a bit different. But you're right. I mean, it's just the chances of it being bad is quite high, isn't it? Anyway. Talia has a few thoughts. Talia's like, yes, I work at a drive-in. I want you to decide for each one of these, Tony, if you think, nah, that's fair enough from Talia and the cinema industry.

That is a bit of a piss take. Or if maybe they just need to ease the reins up a little and let this one through. So yesterday you were the vibe police. Today I'm the vibe police. Oh, I like this power. Talia says, don't take the piss when sneaking food in. I know the candy bar can be a little expensive

and I'm happy to pretend I didn't see a chocolate bar or a sandwich. You know, I can overlook that stuff. But rolling in with a large Big Mac meal from McDonald's is taking the piss. Now the whole cinema stinks like fries, making everyone else envious, and when you drop that Big Mac face down on the carpet and someone steps in it, not only do I need to clean it up, but we need to deal with the Karen with the saucy shoe as well.

I actually completely agree with that. I think that it's like know the range of what you could take. Like I think you can take things that are low maintenance. Actually, would you take things because you're a stickler for the rules. I do normally. Yeah, okay. I'd normally take a bag of Maltesers because at the movies they cost like $12. Yeah.

And that is ridiculous. How much are they at the super? Like $3 or $4 on special. Yeah, the markup is insane. I actually like- It's a dollar per ball. Yeah. Each teaser, you know.

The reason that they offer like popcorn and like lollies is because it is easy to clean up. Like if someone drops a box of popcorn, they just sweep it up and it's fine. Vacuum. You know and it's fine. Vacuum. You know, it's done. It's not as simple as, you know, if someone steps in a Big Mac, you're like pulling that out of the carpet and whatever. Yeah.

And the smell. I think it's fair game to take things into the cinema that you could buy there because you know that that's like cinema approved. I would have thought the other way around. Like that tier of things. But like if you wanted this, you could have bought it from us. We don't even sell that, so I guess that's fine. But, like, the smell and, like.

Macca's chips is a bit funny. When I was in high school, I snuck out of math. So I go, hey, I just got my driver's license. Oh, this is pretty cool. And I was like, hey, guys, watch this. And I was like, oh, Mr. Darling, can I just go to the bathroom? He goes, yeah. So then I ran to my car, drove through the Macca's drive-thru and got chips and came back. And I was just like, oh, Mr. Darling, can I just go to the bathroom? He goes, yeah. So then I ran to my car, drove through the Macca's drive-thru

and got chips and came back and was just like, oh, yep. And then I'm in class with chips and slowly everyone's like, because, you know, Macca's chips just lost their marbling. Oh, you know that smell, yeah. Yeah, and the whole class just knew. Yeah. And even the teacher was like, fuck, what's going on with chips? And I was just like, I don't know what you're talking about.

That is so embarrassing. That is so embarrassing. That is so embarrassing. That's real pick-me behaviour. What's more embarrassing, that or not having McDonald's and staying in maths? I mean, you maybe still wouldn't be at uni at 36 years old if you just stayed there. Sorry, that was nasty because you're doing your swoosh MBA.

There's so much to unpack. I think, though, that, yeah, you can bring in low-maintenance food or, like, a packet of shapes or something. I've been in the cinema before and someone walked in with KFC. Like, not okay. And also, you can't enjoy food in the dark like that. Like, you can enjoy popcorn because it's low-main low maintenance, easy to eat, but a burger or something, you wouldn't. It's hard work.

It's slopping everywhere. Can you imagine how much I would walk out with more food on me than was in my tummy? Like I would be just covered in shit if I did that. Covered in KFC. Now this one is a bit triggering for me, not necessarily in the movies, but I do this on the couch or when we're watching stuff, so I feel a bit seen here.

Talia said, it's totally fine when you recognise one of the actor's faces in a movie. What's not totally fine, and this happens every day, is people sitting in this thing going, what's that guy? I know him. What's his name? He's the guy in that. Oh, Tony, what movie he's in?

He's in that other movie with the girl. You know, what's... The movie Water, I believe is the one that you're talking about. What's Sally said here? Oh, and then people will go like on Wikipedia on their phone in the cinema. Okay, phones in the cinema, just fucking absolutely not. You just can't. Because you're like, oh, but I need to know which guy he is.

What's that actor from? Wait till the end. Shut the fuck up and watch the fucking movie, says Talia. I do this, same as you, I do this at home and I go on IMDB or whatever. But you can't use your phone in the, I don't think people understand how bright their phones are. Like you can actually, it doesn't matter if your brightness is all the way down. You can see, the movies are so dark.

Yeah. You can see it from the other side of the cinema. Now, I don't know if you've experienced this. I definitely have when I lived in Asia all the time. Tali said, stop trying to record the movie on your phone. I don't, yeah. Just be a normal person and download it illegally or wait two weeks for it to come onto the streaming service i mean if you want to download it illegally though you you're

relying on the people that record in the cinema aren't you some but most illegal downloads now are just like download they're not filmed in the cinema but not after like not straight away so if it's if you ever watched a filmed in the cinema movie? Yeah. My mum went to Thailand. Oh, the home. Yeah. And bought the DVDs that would be in that plastic slip.

And she brought heaps of those home. And you'd get home, you'd have 100 DVDs, and you'd put them in the DVD player and you'd go, that one doesn't work. Put it in the DVD player, you'd go, oh, that one's a home filmed one and you'd go, oh, but I really want to watch it and you'd be sitting there and it'd be like the fucking Blair Witch Project, like shaken away. Then someone would walk across with their large popcorn and coke and that would like happen in front of you.

So I watched one of those. I was in a share house and it was like filmed and the audio was so, because it's the audio just from the room. Yeah, it was so bad. So the audio was really bad but it was really low because they were just filming the audio of the room. So I, like, in the share house cranked it up and then after we finished watching the movie, someone was like, oh, the movie's finished, all good.

Like, can we chuck something else on? And we nearly just, like, blew the fucking speaker down. Oh, my God. Because I was on, like, 100 trying to crank it up. Yeah. Like, why are we doing that? What were you watching? I was like, oh, I was on like 100 trying to crank it up. Yeah. Why are we doing that? What were you watching? I was like, oh, I was watching Batman and I think that film.

I definitely don't think people still do that as much because things go to streaming so quick. Just wait two weeks and it'll be on Netflix or whatever. But it didn't used to be. Do you remember it used to be? Half a year. Yeah, it would be like six to nine months. A movie would come out and then it would be like, oh. And the reason you went to the cinema is because you went,

I don't want to wait nine months for it to come out on DVD. When do you reckon Barbie will be on? In the new year? Christmas? In about two weeks' time, I saw. Really? Yeah, not kidding. Wow.

Because there's Warner Brothers, right? Yeah, on one of them. But I saw it on Twitter. Yeah, two weeks' time. I mean, that's how quick it happened. And, like, even the new Little Mermaid, that was on Disney+, and you pay, like, $30 to watch it or whatever. That was on Disney+, before it was even out of the cinema. Oh.

Yeah. Because it came up for me, and I was like, oh, why do you have to pay for the old one? Torbs was like, I think that's the new one. Yeah, right. I couldn't believe it because it just said Little Mermaid and I was like, where the fuck do you have to pay for it? I haven't seen it yet.

30 bucks. Well, yeah, I was like, it'll be free in a month. To sit on the couch. I could go to drive-in for that. I'm already paying $15 a month or whatever for Disney+. Yeah, it's a bit rich, I reckon. I mean, it's fucking taking sweet-ass time, isn't it? Yeah, I reckon.

Yeah. Anyway, sorry, Talia. Back to you. Finally. Stop giving a hand, Jobs, and fingeringering each other thinking no one can see you. They can. We can. Yeah, that's why you've got to go to the drive-in.

We can see you. We can hear you. And unfortunately and all too often, we can smell you. Talia's words, not mine. Oh, Talia, no. We have to clean those seats. Someone has to sit in those seats. Do it in the back of the car after the movie's finished

like a fucking grown-up. I haven't ever fingered or been fingered in a cinema. Like, I've never hooked up with someone in a cinema. Had like a cheeky pash, but not like an actual, you know, handjob situation. At this stage. She hasn't been to the drive-in yet. Yeah, I mean, I'm only 29 and a lot of life left to live.

It's Friday. It's a Monday show and we'll have an update. But the thing is I do understand why, like, kids do it. Like teenagers go, because they go, oh, it's the only, you know, like dark place, you know, because you don't live, you still live with your parents or your family or whatever. I understand why people do it, but it is foul, isn't it? Like you're looking at me like I know you've obviously fingered

slash been fingered slash whatever else you've done in a cinema. No, but I'm not a cinema guy. No, but I know you've obviously done it because of the face you're giving me. No, I'm just laughing at you like tiptoeing around. No, because I'm saying I get why people do it though because when you're young, you're horny as fuck. You're like all your hormones have come in. You're very keen on it and I get it.

It's safer than doing it in a park or something, but it is really yuck that people have to then sit there after you. People have to clean it like Like, it is pretty foul. But I do understand. You know what I mean? I'm like, I get it. Do you reckon depending on the movie it could, like, rev you up? Like, if it's a sexy movie?

Yeah. Like, you weren't planning on it, but then you're kind of sitting there going, fuck. I don't think that teenagers go to the movies without planning on fingering each other. Oh, okay. I think that, you know, you could watch any movie and they'd be fingering.

Okay. Yeah. But, like, would it get you more in the- Well, it doesn't matter. You're just fingering either way. Yeah, I think you are just either way. And if I watched a sexy movie now, I'd be like, cool, let's have sex when we get home to our house

and not at the drive-in. The screen's just turned off. The movie's over. So the lights have come on. Stop fingering each other. They know we're talking shit about screens and they're like, fuck you, we're out. They're on strike like the writers.

Hi, it's George from South Australia and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our favourite champion dupions from the Patreon. Matthew Hayes. Love to see it, Matty. Thanks, Hayesy. Leah.

Jackie. Yeah, Jackie. Megan Smith. Smitty. Do you know what I love? A Smith's chip, like the crinkle cut salt and vinegar chips. You're on the record. Very good.

Matthew Hatton Pool. Make sure you wear a hat in the pool. Don't want to get burned. Yeah, all right. I'm feeling a bit kooky because this morning, instead of a coffee, I got an iced chocolate. How's it going? It's actually, do you want to try it?

Please. It's really good. It's social proof that we're together. Naughty Milk because Friday. Actually, do you want to try it? Please. It's really good. It's social proof that we're together. Naughty Milk because Friday. It's like more of a Nesquik than a Milo. Yeah. It's not a Milo.

The chocolate's good quality chocolate. That is. Because we walk into the cafe and Tony goes, you know how you can get a nice coffee? Do you reckon I can get an iced chocolate? I'm like, fuck yeah, you can. Yeah, I think I actually said cold chocolate and you guys were like, iced chocolate? Yeah.

Because, you know, if you get a hot chocolate, a cold chocolate. Makes sense. The opposite of hot isn't iced. Well, it is in coffee, I guess, but when I don't go hot, iced, I go hot, cold. Do you want to know the difference between Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen? According to one of them. What? They said to Ashley, are you and your sister pretty much the same?

And then Ashley goes, no, because I think the opposite of fire is water, but my sister thinks the opposite of fire is not being on fire. Oh. And she goes, and that's how I know we're different people. That's a lovely insight, isn't it? That's just beautiful. What do you think the opposite of fire is, Tony? I don't know the answer.

I mean, immediately I probably went ice in my brain, like fire and ice, but they're not the opposite thing, are they? Well, what's the opposite of ice? Water. Like that's – Yeah, you don't then go ice or – Call a scientist. You don't then go like ice or boiling water, do you?

Even though that's probably... I saw this thing online the other day. I don't know if it's true or not. So feel free to... My favourite kind. Yeah, exactly. I saw it online, so who knows? But apparently, you know when you freeze like ice blocks and they have...

Freeze water. Yeah, sorry. But like it's like for ice blocks, like for a drink or whatever. And it's got that like white bit in the middle. Yeah. Apparently if you boil the water first and then freeze boiled water, it's clear. Really?

And it, like, would make them look real cool. I'm going to try that because I'm getting into cocktails at home. Yeah, well, so you know how you can get those spherical. Yeah, we've got those, yeah. Yeah, if you feel, because they always get that, like, thing in the middle. Yeah, try it. I'll report back. I like theme in the middle. Yeah, try it. I'll report back.

I'll tell you on Monday. Yeah, try it with boiled water. I'd love to know if it's real or not. I wonder why that is. Why is that? Science, man. It's crazy. Question for Tony.

Question. Question for Cam. Yes. Question for you listening to this podcast. Lucky you. If you could do one thing in the world and with one specific person, not sexy things. Okay.

But if you could do one thing with one person, what would it be? Example. Shoot hoops with Michael Jordan. Oh, okay. Smoke weed with Snoop Dogg. Do, like, I don't know, whatever hot girl shit Kim Kardashian did. Like, imagine, imagine like you can go and do something with anyone in the world what do you think it would be for you oh and cam you

have a ponder as well and you listening have a think that's a really hot because yeah immediately there's like um you think of every celebrity you've ever considered but then the activity as well and what sort of because like shooting hoops with Michael Jordan makes sense. Playing golf with a famous golfer might be like you're up your alley, but then you're like, well, I don't want to go play golf with Michael Jordan. Yeah, or do you go, oh, I love Michael Jordan, but don't really want to shoot hoops. I'd rather like sit down and chat.

Sure. Do you know what I mean? Oh, that's a really good question. I don't know what I would do. I think immediately in my brain I thought about something to do with my mum, which is obviously impossible. I don't know why and I don't know if this is just like a random thing to say, but like, and I know you're not like a party hit the clubs type,

but would you like to like party with like the cast of Geordie Shore or something? Because I know you love those shows. Do I meet heroes, you know? Is one of those. But even though I love those shows, that wouldn't be fun to me. Yeah, cook with Alison Roman. That would be amazing.

I really don't know. What's yours? I didn't know what mine was until this morning. And before I show you this, I just want to remind you that I did, in fact, surprise you with Alison Roman, that I got you an audition with the Australian Girls Choir and helped you do the I Still Call Australia Home. Okay.

So I'm about to show you what I'd like, and it's not just me hoping okay but i want you to organize it for me because i want to do it okay please watch this video and everyone else can watch this video as well okay i'm telling you now though spray tans are the fucking move so you went when did you go i got like a spray i got spray tan with young gravy what. What? The musician, Young Gravy. You guys went together? No, I had them come here. And then, yeah. What?

I don't know. I don't know. We've become friends. He's so much younger than me, and he fucks so much. And I just hear his stories, and I live vicariously through him. And you got spray tan together. We got spray tan together. Me, him, and Trevor Wallace got spray tan together.

Trevor Wallace looked fucking awesome. That guy's pink. He has got really pink nipples. Yeah. So we got him spray tan, and I feel fucking awesome. We're going to America soon, and I would like you to organize for me, Burt Krasner, and Young Gravy to all go and get spray tan together. And I know, because you value our our friendship that you'll get it done.

I'm calling in a favour. The logistics of what you're asking. Which part of it? So Bert Krishna said that he's already friends with Young Gravy. Yeah. But they weren't friends. They've become friends. So we both know that they're the type, they're open to new friendships.

No, no, and that's fine. So it sounds a bit like you actually need to do the groundwork to become friends before I can help you with this quest. No, you help me become friends so the quest can begin. No, because I think the friendship needs to be formed and then I could come in and help the rest of it. Did you know Alison Roman before I introduced you guys? We had talked on Instagram before.

There was some amount of. I mean, I've tweeted and sent DMs and not got any responses. So, yeah, I've done the groundwork. But do you see what I'm saying? No. Like, I will do what I can. Please, thank you. I look forward to it because anything in the world that I would love to do

is to get spray tanned with Young Gravy and Burt Krashner. What a lovely afternoon. What if I couldn't get them both in the same place at the same time? Because obviously while we're in the US, our schedule is quite tight. What if I couldn't get them both together? What if it ended up being one or the other? One would be better than none, but I'm not liking that the first thought is about excuses.

No. I'm trying to think of how is the best way I can get this done. Yep, is make a few calls and get it done. Okay. You're being really nasty. Would you like to get it spray tanned as well with us? No, I'm okay. Okay.

I'm not into young gravy. Okay. Would you, are you pro me getting a spray tan in general? Yeah, I think that they make people feel hot and I think that's fair enough. Cause I'm white as fuck and I burn and like, I don't want to get skin cancer and shit, but I feel like I'd have a bit of like, I'd feel like I'd feel two inches taller with a tan. It does like when I fake tanned before it does make you feel like, I think it just like, it's the same as when you put on a great outfit or like do your hair really nice or something.

It like gives you that little like, ooh. Yeah, and I want to walk into a room and go, ooh, and you go, fuck, Ryan, you look confident today. And I go, yeah, yesterday I hung out with Bert Krashner and Young Gravy and we got spray tans and I'm fucking feeling good. I just don't think that would be fun. Bert Krashner would be good, but what does he? Young Gravy?

Well, I just like I don't really know what his personality is like. Like because it's like the Geordie Shore people, like does he just like party all the time? Like, what would it actually be like talking to him? Oh, he's a very interesting man. Is he? I don't know. Yeah, see.

But we've got an icebreaker. We're spray tanning. You know what I mean? It is a good icebreaker for sure. I think the best way to make friends is to meet them in a paper g-string. I've always said that. What if, yeah, what if only one of them is available? Sure.

Is that okay? Okay. All right. Where do they live? Burtley's in California. Okay. Young Gravy, I'm pretty sure, lives in a random town on the east side, but also they're both like on the road all the time.

All the time. Yeah. But we're also on the road all the time. All the time. Yeah. But we're also on the road all the time. So we just line our roads up, you know, get a room in a hotel, come down, put our paper G-strings on, fucking tan up. Is there a... Don't you just think that would be the best? Yeah, and I love it for you.

I do. You value our friendship, right? Yes, obviously. Yeah. Can't you see that, like, the cogs are turning? I'm, like, trying to find a way for this to happen. Leave it with me. I'll do what I can.

So it's yes. Leave it with me. Yes. I'll do what I can. I knew. If I can look at Ben, look at me. My eyes are up here. I knew that you'd come through for me, so thank you.

Yeah, I said that. You've made a young man's day. I said leave it with me. So, yeah, leave it with me. Leave it with me. Do you reckon people will have any inns that listen to our show? Like surely someone that listens to our show knows someone that knows someone that knows Young Gravy or Burt Krashner or a spray tan artist.

If you do. What are spray tan artists called? Spray tanner? Yep. Probably. Beautician? Yeah, but I guess like if someone did all of it, then yeah. I think spray tan artists should be like, you know,

how sandwich artists are at Subway? Oh, yeah. Or even like a spray painter, like a sign writer. Like a body shop guy? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Pimp my ride. Pimp my Ryan. Okay.

Okay, I'll also accept if you can't get either of those two, exhibit. Okay. Not sure if he wants a spray tan. If anybody does have an in with Burt Kreischner or Young Gravy or Spray Dana, probably the easiest one, to be honest. Transportable. Like you come to us sort of thing. Yeah. Not as in like the tan next to you.

I get it. Shut up. Please sign into my DMs with maybe like, yeah, Pimp My Ryan as the top line. I love that name. So that I can filter my DMs. Let me know. Do you want to be there when I'm in the paper thong?

Absolutely. Great. Maybe you can help him. I want to see Burt Krashner in the paper thong. It wouldn't be too bad. Are you saying Young Gravy's third of three for the three of us? A hundred percent. He's probably 90th of another list of...

How many people are in the world. Just in case you do pull this off, be careful with what you say, especially on a video show. I'm just saying. He's just not for me. That's okay. He's okay. Everybody is not for everybody.

He is for me, though. Yeah, and that's fine. Yep. Yep, leave it with me. I'll do what I can. What shade should I get? It's different every time, but I would just go a very low glow. Darkest legal tint?

I would go a very low glow. What is darkest legal tint? That's on a car. So that's like the, because if your tint is too dark, you can't see in, it's illegal. Yeah. So it's a different thing. Thank you for taking this on.

Yeah, that's all why i leave it with me i'll do what i can cool um i don't call in many favors in fact this is the first time where i've gone i actually i'm calling in a favor okay it's a very specific oh okay actually question wouldn't you rather do something else that would leave a better like lasting impression why how long does the spray tan last no no like because he's already gotten a spray tan with Young Gravy. No, but I also want the spray tan. Well, I could just get you a spray tan. But I want to do it with Bert.

Are you getting what I'm saying? No, I am. I'm just saying, like, wouldn't you rather do something else that's, like, weird and quirky with them? Because they go, yeah, we got a spray tan together. But, like, with Ryan, we blah. I don't know what the thing is. But, like, you know, because, like, with Ryan, we blah. I don't know what the thing is, but like, you know,

because like that's already been done. Well, yeah, but it hasn't been done with me. But do you know what I'm saying? If you've got, I am open to ideas. All right. Leave it with me. Leave it with me. I'll see what I can do.

You remember that I didn't ask for Alison Roman. You just expected it. I know. No, but I, you know, I didn't like come in here demanding anything. No, I just did that out of the goodness of my heart, but I didn't come in here demanding anything. No, I just did it out of the goodness of my heart. But I didn't come in here demanding something, which is what you've just done. So I would just like for everyone to know that that's

how we operate here. So when I do, I don't have to ask. Hang on. I don't have to wait for Tony to give me a push along to do something. I just do something nice because that's who I am. But you need like a reminder. Which is now.

Is this what you want to say? No. I just want a spray tan. I'll just get you a spray tan. Like we could easily do that. How long do we leave? It's really not that far away. I said leave it with me, okay?

I've got my new favourite thing on the internet. Are you ready to start swiping? Okay. And this will be everyone else's favourite new thing on the internet. Okay. My favourite thing on the internet is people selling mirrors on Facebook Marketplace. Have you seen this?

I have, yeah. Because you can't take a photo of a mirror without your reflection. Yeah. Please look at exhibit A through K. The first guy is this guy kind of getting a bit of a lounge on. It's a bit of like a sexy one, the first one. The second one. Check out the second one.

Do you reckon he knows about that? I think so. I don't think he's selling them. I think this is just a picture from Tinder. I don't think it's from my space. Yeah. Number three is someone who's aware of this and has tried to cover up a little bit by wearing a towel. Number four is an old lady loving herself sick.

That just looks like a selfie, that one. I don't think that's it. Now, number five, this is great marketing. See, I was literally about to say, why don't people just like scrub themselves out? But he's gone one extra. Now, while number five knew that they're in a reflection, pictures six and seven.

Nah. Not quite sure about those. Nah. Sorry, sure about those. Nah. Sorry, I scrubbed the next one. Oh, I've bought a mirror from a ghost. Yeah, someone's wrapped up in a doona, like, hiding, and they've just stuck their arm out.

They're holding the phone. Yeah. But if you haven't seen those, I'll chuck them in the episode thread, but if you're watching... Oh, my God. Oh, the last one that you sent as well, the makeup mirror, the guy doing the makeup. But I didn't really know about this. I wouldn't call it a trend, but just like phenomenon.

Yeah. And I just went, oh, what's this about? And I clicked on it the other day and I was like, this is fantastic. I have seen it before, but it gets me every time. And because you know that when people are trying to like lean in, like they go, yep, you can obviously see me haha but when other people like no um i also have something from the internet that actually you know maybe you should look out for this isn't a problem that i face in my life but um apparently it is a what did you say about the the chair thing it's a phenomenon

yeah um so i saw this online this online and it's a great poem unlike any of the ones that your grandma wrote. I'm just passing you this poem. Excuse me? Can you read this poem out loud please? Roses are red, life isn't fair, man's testicle

accidentally gets stuck in an Ikea chair. And it's a picture of this red stool with the, like, holes in the top. Well, hang on. And it says it's in his shower. I was going to say, why is he sitting in the stool naked? So I'm guessing it's like, oh, you know, maybe he can't, like, stand up for a long time or, you know,

maybe he was, like, shaving his legs and was like, yeah, you've got to get a sit down for that. And it's like obviously like slipped right through the hole and gotten stuck. Did you have to cut it out? I don't know. I mean, the stool in the photo is intact. So I don't know whether this is like a stock image of the stool. I mean, they're not going to get a photo of the stool.

I don't know. But yeah, that really made me laugh. Do you reckon after it gets, like, cut out and submitted into evidence, it becomes a stool sample? I'm really sorry, everyone. I'm sorry. That's pretty funny. I'm actually really sorry about that.

That was actually very funny. I'm actually sorry about that. You should be sorry about a lot more stuff, not about that. That was very good. Thank you so much for listening and for watching, if you're watching. If you weren't go back and watch uh the video though and have a look at all those photos they're really funny um look forward to hanging out with gravy and bert soon and looking smooth brown tanned darker what do you look like's the word? Why are you looking at me like that?

I don't know what you're saying. Thank you so much for listening. See you on Monday. See you on Monday. Love you, bye.