Toni and Ryan - Drivers Are Getting Worse

Episode Date: April 28, 2026

Suit appreciation - Spew stories - Driving hot take- love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

It's crazy that more and more people seem to just be like not fucking paying attention. I don't know why, but it's on the fucking rise. If your indicator is not on. Hi, I'm Frank from Portland, Oregon and the US. Hey, I'm Indy from Perth, West and Australia. Hi, I'm Lauren from Victoria, Canada. And I am Christmas podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast.

My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Or the Tony Lodge. earlier I said hey Charles let's play this video at the start of the episode and I've forgotten what it was so this is going to be fun for all of us okay surprise yep it's like a lucky dip oh yeah this bitch is a legend gone you're legendary around these parts why I'm an awesome hairdresser and I also shit in a lunchbox is that normal behavior here in Wainui well if you get stuck in traffic yeah back to back can't get out of the traffic can't turn around and I just sat there like panicking because I was literally going to ship myself.

Yeah. So I was sort of driving along and I looked over in the passenger seat and there was my son's lunchbox. I emptied it out because it had yoga and whatever in it and slid it under my ass and just went for it. So what are you thinking after you're finished? How am I going to wipe my ass? I just love it at the top. Well I'm a pretty good hairdresser. but also you're going to know your strengths know what you're known for so you're pretty well known in

this town tell us why well it could be this one of two reasons yeah uh the fact that she's so proud of herself the fact that her kids they're not he's not oh mom he's just like fuck yeah my mom's shut in the lunchbox what your mom do it yeah your mom what's your mom done that's so great yeah your mom isn't on the news my mom's shut in the lunchbox mom's on the news yeah i thought she goes i took the yogurt out Oh, thank God for that. Oh, I was on the edge of my seat. When someone think of the yogh

Whether he took the yogurt out or not. I wouldn't have been able to continue with my day not knowing what happened to that yogurt. So funny. She's great. She's great. Let's go to... Who's the guy interview?

Is that like a sketch show or like an actual news? I have no idea. His name's Guy Williams. And he's like on radio and TV over in New Zealand. Right. Yeah, he's so funny. Let's go and hang out with Guy Williams. Yeah.

That guy has a yarn or two in him. That's good, yeah. What a great way to start a hump day. Also, that suit. Magic. If you're just listening to the pod, obviously, you've just heard the... But that guy is wearing a great brown suit. I would even say it's like a mustard.

Can you show me again, Charles? I'll say it's a tarp yellow. It wasn't yellow. He's on brand for us. It wasn't yellow. It is a mustardy brown. It's a yellowy brown. But yeah, it's a must.

Yeah. Yeah, that's a nice suit though. What a mustache. Kind of looks like Tom Wood a little bit. That's a good fit on the suit too. It's a great fit. Great fit. When I think of...

That's a tight pant. What's he best known for? Wearing the fuck out of a suit. Yeah. But he like goes around and like this is like his thing. I love that he wears different like suits and stuff. He's always wearing suits. He's always.

He's always in a suit. Oh, well it suits him. Oh, there's the same. Oh, a different suit. Oh, okay. All right. Well, I've had enough now. Thanks.

We're just scrolling through this Instagram. We, a few weeks ago, shared some vomit stories. Tarpers have sent through theirs. And as promised yesterday, I've picked the least graphic most fun. So if you think, oh, that's disgusting and that's gross. That's graphic and not fun. Yeah. These are not graphic and fun.

So on like an X, Y. Yeah. It's, yeah. Not graphic. Fun. Now, I've been cackling over here because the second line of this story, first line, take or leave it, but the second line... The first line tells us everything we need to know.

The second line, just the way it's been written is just so funny and I'm so immature. Okay. My mate spewed off the top of a double decker bus in London. I had to pull him off before anyone noticed. Oh, okay. Yep. Well, there it is. Like I see the pardon question now.

Fuck, what a fake. Spewing off the top of a double deck of us. Yeah. That's crazy. Very visual. Yeah, we'd finished a restaurant shift at 11 p.m. And went straight to the club. Isn't it great when you're that age,

when you're like, hey, we finished at 11, I've done two shifts with you, but bro, are we going out? Well, it's like, you know that that's what. You don't even ask. It's just like, oh, and we'll go grab a beer after. The way that you can rally when you're young, it's just crazy.

Like, we used to do a full day in the deli, spend two hours cleaning the c-ch-out, and then we would go to Northbridge. Yeah, and turn one on. Like, you, it would, like, of course. What else are you going to do? What else are we going to do? Not do that.

By 3 a.m., this guy I work with was human furniture. I love. Like that saying. Completely gone. Human furniture. That's good. That was like Charles in Riga. The trains had stopped so I had to lug his barely conscious body onto a double decker.

And we both passed out upstairs at the very front of it. Away from a rowdy group of teens at the back of the bus. Oh no. Too scary. Question. Is it open air? It must be. Right.

Or at some parts. Because you know how some of them are double decker and they're like, Populous. Yeah, or maybe you got it out of. Same. Double decker, double do. I woke up just as we hit our stop. So they're like, he's coming to and gone, oh, fuck, we're here?

This is us. I shook the guy to wake him up and apparently I triggered some kind of internal pressure valve. And he just erupted. Oh, my. A vom puddle the size of lockness on the floor of the bus as well as getting some of it. Like, he tried to get a. out the window off the top of it. Yeah.

I panicked, ran the bell and pulled him off as soon as possible. Oh no, you've thrown up. I better wank you off. Just like Charles Ringer. It was only as the bus pulled away that I'd understood what I'd done. As the butt,

because they're at the, all right, they're at the front of the bus. Yeah. We'd got, they dragged his mate off and just like, fuck, before we get, oh, we were talking about spewing in. axes.

So he's like, he's like, I've got to get this guy off the bus before we realize we've destroyed the place. Well, and because your first instinct is to run. Yeah. Yeah. As the bus accelerated, uh, thanks to the G force, it's like the, the bus takes off and the, the spew starts rolling towards the back of the bus where the teens were. It was inevitable that eventually the spew would get back to the bus where the teens are.

As the bus got further and further away. way somehow the teenage screams got louder and louder. It's like someone's going, oh, is that a bit of, oh, gosh. Oh, yeah, what the fuck. Oh, that is a phenomenal spew story. Thank you to Tarpa Bond, that was. Tapa Bonn, wonderful storyteller, the pressure valve, the human furniture, all very well written.

He just erupted. Errupted. He's wonderful. There's so much going on in there. Excellent tale. Excellent tale. Next is Tarpa Bill who works in a Vegas casino. Hi, Tapa Bill.

Someone vomited over the bathroom store wall in a Las Vegas casino. My co-worker, innocently shitting, was sitting on the other side of the wall and copped it. Like the Bellagio fountain. You're going to. We work in a casino and two hours after going for a shit, he walks back in in completely different clothes and told us everything. So they must work in like accounts or just management or whatever in the office. And he's gone down to the floor and just like gone to the bathroom.

Someone's come in to the stall next door and spewed over the top of the wall. Let's be very real here. Yeah. If you worked at a casino inval environment, whether you're in the accounts team, whether you're working on the floor as like a crew PA or whatever, like you would have seen some shit. Yeah.

I mean, in Vegas we'll stop, but a Vegas cassette, like you've seen it all. Tony once ran into Guy Fieri in Las Vegas and got a selfie with him. And it wasn't until the next morning where she showed me the selfie with him that I pointed out that she was just in fact in start in front of a cardboard cutout of Guy Fierry.

But there was a time. There were a few hours that went by. A few hours where I believe. there it is and you can tell that genuinely I believe he's real you can see it in my you're subtle enough to be like hey

yeah and look at my eyes they're going in two fucking different directions my lips are redder than the devil's dick like I just have no idea is Guy Fieri holding a chicken or are you wearing a rose behind your ear was that not a clue

that may be in a casino know, Guy Thierry wouldn't be walking around by himself holding a chicken. And do you know where it was? So we stayed in Vegas. We stayed at Caesar's Palace. I'm sure you get this all the time, but is this the real Cesar's Palace? We stayed there. And there's like a food court where there's like a pizza place.

You know how there was like those few restaurants is too strong? But like there was a few places. And one of them was, yeah, like Guy Fieri's new restaurant. And we'd seen it when we'd walked to leave the hotel. And then on the way back in, I think I was like, oh, no, he's here. You know, like, and I was by myself. You guys weren't with me. It was like, we'd split up for the night and I was like, well, I'm going to go get some food before we got, you know.

And run into a celebrity. And I just, you know, and I probably went, fuck, I wish Ryan and Cam were here, you know. Yeah. RIP. Are you upset that you didn't get to meet him? I was for a time until I saw the photo. Yeah. And then I was like, you know what?

Because I did, you know, Charles, I went like, check this out. Like I was like, I wasn't like, oh. She was pumped. She was like, fuck yeah. You'll never guess what happened last night. It wasn't as if I went, oh, I did this last night thinking it was real. I've now realized it. I still at that point thought that it was, had happened.

I wonder if he's been spewed on over a bathroom stall in the Las Vegas. Probably not over a bathroom store, but I reckon he's definitely been spewed on. So my colleague had been in the store, mining his own business, scrolling on his phone when he heard someone sprint in and then over the wall it came. He went home, showered, got redress, came back to work. I would have taken the day. Surely you go, yeah, I'll be back in tomorrow. Yeah, he just got two hours.

I go, fuck you're right, man. And he goes, you'll never guess what happened. To this day, I remain both horrified, but also impressed that someone created a vomit fountain high enough to clear the divider. God, it's just bringing people together, isn't it? We don't need to be divided. Thanks, Tapa Bill. Thanks, Tapa Bill from Vegas.

Finally, TARP Claire. Hi, Claire. Hi, Claire. I assume this was at a nightclub. Because of subject matter. I slipped on someone else's vomit, fell down a full flight of stairs and broke my arm and my leg. Who?

Sorry, what was the Tarpers name? Claire Young. Oh, okay. Why? Because I know a story. exactly like that happened to my friend Beck. And I was like, has she fucking written this story?

What happened to Beck in the end? So we were at high school and like her. So we were, we're still really good friends. Really good friends probably stretch. But I really like her. We get along really well. But they were kind of a different crew.

Yep. And they'd all gotten some drinks on the weekend. Like on Monday morning, they come into school. Beck's got a chipped tooth. a broken arm. One of the other girls has got a sprained wrist

and one of the other girls got a black eye. Like just, and it was just like, what the fuck happened? Does she know drunken Duncan that chipped his tooth on a bowl of jelly?

Well, this is kind of similar energy because one of the other girls, Laura, they'd all been drinking. She threw up. Beck slipped in her vomit. Chipped her tooth

and broke her arm. And like, but it was like the school story for like a week For a week for fucking 10 years. That's amazing. I'm still fucking talking about it.

This was in 2009, I'm telling. And it was just one of those stories that like, yeah. And so the chipped tooth, like she, I think she's still got it. Like she, but it was just, and it was just this group of girls that had just like gotten hell silly on three vodka cruises and fucking like whatever. But I just was like, and that wasn't at a nightclub. That was just in fucking Laura's auntie's house or something like. This should be an ad for vodka cruises. because look how much fun you can have.

And look at the stories you get. The memories will last a lifetime. The memories. Um, yeah, fuck, that was just, and it was, it wasn't like, we're laughing at you. It was like, that's just funny. That's just funny. It's just funny. Like, there was no bullying.

It was just that that's fucking hilarious. Now, I've left a bit of the story off the end. Uh-huh. And I said, I wanted this segment because it's a bit gross to finish on a heartwarming, positive note. Love it. So let me now read the full story from Tapa Claire Young. Hi, Claire Young. I slipped on someone else's vomit, fell down a full flight of stairs,

broke my arm and my leg. I used the compensation to buy my first house. It was the best thing that ever happened to me. Fuck, yeah. Break my arm. Holy shit. Break my arm. Twist my ankle.

Put me in a new house. She's just like, yeah, it hurt and I healed and I have a fucking house now. So fuck yeah. So, yeah, was obviously at like a place where they should have been cleaning up after whatever. And she's just like, yeah, best thing that ever happened. It's like set me up. Because, you know, a broken arm like hurts, but it heals, you know. Well, yeah.

And if you've got insurance, like, you know. I've got insurance. Fuck. That is unbelievable. Well, talk about making lemonade out of the lemons or whatever that saying is. That's exactly the saying. Yeah. Hey, while the sun shines.

Not the correct saying. But that's what I said that to you the other day in the car. And it stays with you. It does. It haze with you. It does. Now, how's everyone feeling? I feel amazing.

And I've never been happier in my life to be sitting here with you in matching outfits. We are matching outfits. Well, I was going to say, how's everyone feeling? Because if you're not great, head to the top of those stairs. Oh, shit. No, because we've got to pay for it. No, we got insurance. No, we have to pay for it.

That's us. It's only fun if you work for some, you know, big fat cat. Fat-cap, Gold, Baird or whatever that thing I said was three weeks ago. It was wrong then. It sounds still very incorrect. Yeah, I still like it. Okay. Rain check on that.

Rain check. It's like I got a house. And in other news, I had to give someone a house. Yeah. I'm Frank from Portland, Oregon and the US. Hi, I'm Lauren from Victoria, Canada. I'm Indy from Perth, West and Australia. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan.

A massive shout out to a few of our champion tippers. We absolutely love you. Thank you for being part of it. And for messaging, because I chat to Tarpers in Patreon, just all the live long day. And I absolutely love it. I love getting the good news. I love the sad stories where I can help you through it and chat with you. I love the shit memes you send me.

It's just really, really fun. How good is shit memes? It's great. I could just get the set the randomest fucking, like, Instagram and Reels and stuff. It's just so silly. I think, you know how like some guys. retire and like play golf yeah I just want to look at memes dude all I want to fucking do is sit in a chair scroll on your phone yeah yeah I couldn't think of

anything more like the fire pour me a cup of tea load me up with some memes and fucking tell me when the potatoes are on for dinner you know oh that does sound like you've won me back yeah ding ding ding all right old guys fucking come into the dining hall for the thing yeah so in this situation you're in a nursing home or like a lifestyle village or something. Lifestyle Village is the greatest rebrand of a nursing home I've ever heard. That's why I changed it when you went. I mean, yeah.

Yeah, okay. Where else would I be? Like at your house. How young can you get into those? Because you're in the CWA. I am in the CWA. You know what I mean? There's obviously loopholes.

I've got a one way ticket. If I say my friend who's younger than me is in the CWA, they'd just go, oh, okay. Well, she's probably fine. Yeah. But like, you're obviously of age. I'm pretty sure you can't buy into a retirement village until you're sick. How old are my name? Because you know how you can buy the units in the thing?

So you've got what, six years to go? Or seven. Or seven. That's really upsetting. When I was looking at buying houses. We're 40 next year. It's like 25 years until we can play bingo every day. That sounds so fun.

I'd rather it'd be like three years away. Oh, so the upsetting part was that it's not. Not so far away. Yeah. Yeah. I just want to sit in a chair. Babe, I mean, I cannot stress this to you. You're not going to believe it.

Have I got news for you? Now, hold on to your hand because I've got some great news. Can I get you a hot towel? No, that would be a great time to have a hot towel. Too good. All I want is a hot towel and memes. And some memes. I just don't.

I'm not like. I'm kind of off the scroll at the moment. As you know, like I've got to get back on. It's so much better. I actually. Life quality, it's a direct correlation. Goes up. I've been, like, knitting.

I've been reading heaps. You have been reading heaps. I've been coloring in a lot. I'm loving it. Have you been scrolling memes? I haven't been scrolling as much. And I hate to say it, but I think it. Oh, that.

That's awful. I think it's doing something to me in the brain in a good way. No, you know that we saw that person online the other day that was like, I'm sleeping well and eating well and getting exercise and I feel good. Yeah, and I hate that. No, I hate that. I think though you should still scrolls for our videos. Yeah.

Do you know what I mean? Like, don't we shouldn't suffer. I hate the game, not the player. Yeah, totally. Kayla Perez, good on you, Kayla, keep scrolling. Like, that's how like, um. Sign up. Yeah.

Have a great day. And as I always say, keep on, keep on scrolling. Keep on scrolling, baby. Scroll and scrolling, scroll and scroll. May your memes and dreams come true. May your memes come true is hilarious. Thank you. And that sounds like a skit.

Like if we had like a sketch show. May your memes come true. Yeah, like that's amazing. I do love that as like a like the like keep keep on scrolling as like a, what's the thing like a call to arms no like a catch cry kind of slogan um like a holy shit put me in the fucking lifestyle village um not retirement home put me in the fucking lifestyle village we said catchphrase yeah what's that but like um what no what's the word was motto and it was declined.

What's like that, but like inspirational? Quote. But, huh? Mantra? I'll take mantra. It's not what I was looking for,

but I'll take mantra. Thanks, Tommy. Take something. For $500, mantra. Okay, how about we do a podcast call? Motivational.

Oh, did I say that? Already. Like, motivational thing is like, keep on smelling. The hardest thing about trying to figure out what you're trying to say is I don't think it exists. And I can't remember what I already said. Is it motto?

No, it's motto. Imagine going on a quiz show and the host asks a question and someone answers and the post goes, I don't know. What was the question? Like, was I right? And they go, I don't know. I just ask the questions. Yeah.

Hey, I'm, I don't work. Have you Googled it? I just work here. It's not my, I can't. I don't know what to do. I think that we should do a podcast called memes and dreams. and we finished by saying keep scrolling. What about merch that says keep on scrolling?

I also like scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scrolling, scroll on. I think Fred Durst has got a new song out. Who's Fred Durst? The lead singer of Lindbiscuit. Oh, hot. Known for some songs such as Rollin, Rollin, Rollin, Rollin, Rollin. Kayla Perez, good on you, Kayla. Thanks, Kayla.

Ryland Jasperson. Don't think that's a real name. Beck Milenkov, good on you, Beck. Colin Marquis-Bouton. Hello. Marquis Bouton. Does he make crepes? When you find out, they go, who's the world's greatest craper?

Yeah. And it would probably be someone named. Colin Marquis Bouton. Oh, he's one of the greats. Well, I would love to help you with that, but if you're looking for a good crepe recipe, you could Google it. Stephanie, good on you, Stephanie. Katie Cupcake, thanks, Katie. Morg's BB!

Corey McElwe, Brendan Collins, and Katina Walters. Thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. I think the ratio of Collins mentioned in one thing of champion Tarpers is never been more than today. Two. What was before the first one? There was a coal in there somewhere. Kayla?

Rylan, Jasperson, which I don't know. That's a real name. Beck, Millenkov. That's the cove. Oh, so not the same at all. Colin Marquis, button. Corey McElwee, Brendan Collins, Katina, so, kukk, kha.

Yeah, last week was all about Collins. Now it's about Collins. Yeah, what could next week bring? The Paris end of Collins straight, right here in our tarpers. Nah, sorry. Do you know that maybe we will live at the Collins end of the retirement village, the lifestyle village? The Paris end of the lifestyle village.

What did I say? The Collins end. We know. Now, do you remember that today is Wednesday and it's time for hot take journey? Does Charles know? I remember. Where to see a killing time for old mate to bring a match stick. We were having fun.

Thanks, Charles. Same thing. Yeah. When you're around. Thank you so much. Time flies when you're having fun with me. Have you ever heard that? Okay.

Sorry. Are you coming over to dinner tonight? Yeah. I think we've got time growing in the garden. Amazing. And we're going to have like pizza and salad and stuff. So I'm sure we'll use some. Can we make some sort of gag about...

Time flies. Yeah. It just feels like it's an obvious gag that no one has represented visually yet. I'm sure they have. I hate to say it. Charles, Google, time flies, literally. I remember the first joke book I ever owned. And...

Was it the Ricky Ponting biography? No, it wasn't. It was Koshy's sick jokes or no. Oh, it probably fucking was. It wasn't. And that is good. It was like a clock flying out the window and the joke was time flies like T-I-M-E. Yeah.

And I mean, now we're seeing T-H-Y-M-E flies in the time. Like, I'm sure it does exist, but we could make that. Great. Write that down, Charles. Yeah, all right. I can see your face. When you pull those faces, I can see them. Okay, I've got a hot, oh, no, it's because you had the fucking crunching up and I fucking said that this would happen.

Okay, let's go. Did not. You did say it. You did say if you ate crunching up before the show, you'll start burping and you'll get silly and you'll hit decline. Yeah. You don't have long to go. It's not. I've got a good hot take go.

I think it's going to bring you back. Okay. If your indicator is not on, your steering wheel should lock up so you can't turn. You've been scorched. Does Tony know, Charles, that roads move? Like, like the... Okay, do you know how words works? I think after...

We're over two. I think after 1,200 episodes, we all know that the answer is no. There's no. But like, say you're not on a straight road. No, I think, though, that there should be a way, because I understand a curve and whatever. But do you? No, no, no.

But there should be something. in the car, I don't fucking know what it is, but that if you aren't indicating, you shouldn't be allowed to do anything. You can't just turn off. Because I have just seen a rise in absolute fucking spoons on the road lately. Like, I just, honestly, it fucks me off so much. And the amount of people that I've seen go through red lights is like,

it's on the up. I don't know why, but it's on the fucking rise. just like taking really shitty risks on the road and then not indicating you don't know where anyone's going no one's fucking like i'm yesterday on my way to work someone pulled up next to me and yelled at me for going 40 in a school zone like they yelled at me for doing that like we were in a school zone which is 40 in australia i don't know if that's like but 40 k's an hour and they pulled up what the fuck are you doing i was like it was a school zone And they just went, uh-huh, and then drive off.

So they wanted you to go faster. Yeah, like, they were like up my ass. And I was like, well, I'm doing the, like, they had been like right, like, go around. Like, it's fine. And I just feel like people are just doing like really dumb shit. But I think that, yeah, if your indicator is not on, your steering wheel should lock up and you shouldn't be able to turn. You shouldn't be able to change lines. You shouldn't be able to do anything.

And that should teach you that then if you just do your little ding-dong, do your little ding-dong, let people know what you're doing. and I think that it's crazy that more and more people seem to just be like not fucking paying attention like you pull up to the lights and everybody around you is on their fucking phone

it's so fucked up you're trusting other people to like do the right thing you're trusting that they haven't been fucking drinking that they're not texting that they're not distracted whatever and I do have a real soft spot for this

because my best friend who we talked about the other day she died in a car accident so I'm really funny about that's why I'm so I'm so like really fussy about car stuff. I don't like, I don't fuck around. I don't touch my phone.

I just take it really seriously. And I just feel like we should lock up their steering wheels. All good though. Yeah, okay. Thank you, Charles. I've got a wonderful you love to see it here to bring us back around. Please. From Lisa sent this on Instagram.

Yep. I just wanted to let you guys know how fucking amazing the tarpas are. I already know, but I never get sick of hearing about it. These kinds of stories, what I'm about to read is like makes me feel like I'm proud of our children, like out in the world. I'm a back-of-pack marathon runner whose real-life friends are strong and fast. I've had two attempts to qualify for a marathon but didn't tell my, tell real-life people I was trying. Like, wanted to kind of practice and get up to speed by myself. Just do it.

Not put the pressure on. Yeah. The tarpas have a group on Strava and have been so supportive. even encouraging. Today I run 48 kilometers. What? Oh, I didn't want anyone to know because I don't know if I'll make it. Well, fuck you.

That's amazing. Imagine doing a marathon of being like, probably still got another six in me. And I beat the six hour cut off by seven minutes. Isn't that fucking unreal? I will now line up for the marathon in June, knowing my real life people, my dot comrades, like the tapas in the Strava,

group are rooting for me. So all of the tarpas have been like, oh my God, Lisa, like you shave that time off because I guess you get notifies your friends that. She's done more than it. Like she's done it. 48 kilometres. Yeah.

Or he's like 48 miles. No. She said 48 kilometres. Yeah, but a marathon's 42 kilometers. Charles, Google Comrades marathon. Or is it one of those like fucked ones? Maybe it's longer. The Comrades is the world's longest and

oldest ultra marathon. Ultra. That's 60. Ultra. Or is it 100? It says an ultra is approximately 88 kilometers. Fuck off. That's two marathons.

So Lisa is, yeah, getting up to that to qualify for that. And when she ran the 48Ks, that's when she shaved seven minutes off to qualify. Got seven minutes. Yeah. Fuck. So because you've got to get obviously a pace to qualify for that. As if a marathon's not fucking far enough. Yeah, that's insane.

Jesus. That's impressive. So all of the tarpas are rooting for Lisa in Strava. I guess that, yeah, it pops up when someone does a run. You can send a message or a pre-h. Never downloaded the app. I wouldn't even know. Now, tell me more about it, time.

I'm in the top of Strava group. Are you? How do you like? I have you seen Lisa pop up. I have you. There's only a few people in this year. I'm going to join. I'm going to join.

Can I tell you a story about Strava? Longest TV marathon. Friends marathon. Nailed it in two days. In the world of... What do you call it when like two battleships are battling each other? Like war? Navy shit.

Navy. Head to head? Yeah. One on one. Yep. This guy went for a run, but he's like on a battleship. And so he goes, he's doing laps of the battleship. Yeah.

Right? Like when you're like, yeah, I've got to get my exercise inshore. Yeah. So he run like, and he logs on to Strava. And that gave up the position of the ship and the other country found out. Like, this is only a few weeks ago. Because I've seen people doing that on cruise ships. Yeah.

But oh, yeah, like. He gave up the position of the. Their war ship. Yeah. Holy shit. Oh, fucking Israel on. Yeah, like it's right up in there. Oh my God.

But, I mean, you wouldn't miss a chance to log it, would you? Like, if you ran that far, you'd be like, well, I'm going to put it in. National security is at risk. Thousands of lives, bombs being dropped. And he goes, oh, but I got a pitting on Strava. And I'm going to not log my run. Well, yeah. What's the point?

It's like what is the actual point of running if you can't brag about it on social media. Well, yeah. That's why I don't do anything. My point. Why would you bother? I'm going to get on Tarpstrava. Lisa. Taps, Tava.

Congratulations. That's fucking crazy. Do we know when her one is? No, I actually, I actually don't. But she's qualified. I can message her back. That's huge. Congratulations.

Oh, sorry. I will now line up for the Comrades Marathon in June. Fuck it up. So it's soon. Good on there. Yeah. Isn't that fucking awesome? I got to love to see it here from Becca Snow.

Back in, February, after many years of singing in choirs and various groups, and almost 10 years since Daly departed friend suggested it, I set up my own choir and singing group. Oh, hell yeah. I finally held my first singing workshop. It took a while, but she was right. It was awesome. And I love doing it.

Start the fucking blog, says Becker Snow. That's so sick. But how far did you run, Becker? No, the joy of singing with a group of people, there's nothing like it. singing in a group of people, dancing in a group of people. Like the vibes that gives you is just unreal. If we get together and do a few domay ramees, should we log that on Strava?

Yep. Lava, like what one? Like, you get it. Like a palava? Yeah, sure. Pavlova. I hardly know it. Tomorrow on the show.

So many, anybody that's not watching on YouTube, so many facial expressions just happened. What's going on? You're in for a treat. A treat? What for? That's fun. There's some breaking news and I've brought the breaking news to Tart Tower.

Oh my God. And tomorrow you're going to... Die. Experience it. Oh. Yeah, dog. Okay. Fun.

You're going to give it. I don't want it. Nah. When you hear this... Okay. It's good. I suspect you'll say... How do I say it's without us?

losing our broadcast license. Broadcast license. It's like a pen license. It's the internet. You're probably going to want to undress and say, I know that's not how you normally do it, but just all over me, please. Okay.

Danny knows what I'm talking about. I agree or disagree, Danny. I actually might not come in tomorrow. Agree. Is that? I'm going to want it to be calmed on. No, you're going to want it all over you, though. Okay. Yeah, you're going to want it.

Yeah, Kirill is. All right, see ya. You're going to get it tomorrow. You're going to like it. You're going to really like it. I hope. Probably. What was that?

I think I've had some crunchy nut and I'm ready for bed. You're going to get it to? What's that? I'm ready for bed. Is that like a sexy talk thing that you do? I am fading. I've had crunchy nut. I'm ready for bed.

Okay. All right. See ya. Bye.