Toni and Ryan - Duck Duck Goose

Episode Date: April 18, 2024

Ryan has hit someone and I've got a terrible idea. Love ya xo [USED TO BE VIDEO EPISODE BUT NOT ANYMORE LOL TECHNICAL CHAT]Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge and we are calling Texas, baby. We're going back to Dallas. Everything's bigger in Texas. Remember going to, that was where we had the first barbecue. Yeah. What was it? Terry Blacks. Terry Blacks. That was legit. Let's call Sally. Remember when we saw the stock exchange and it was like all the horses in the street. Oh, at Fort Worth. Yeah. Stock exchange. That's the joke. Yeah, but we didn't get it for a while.

We were like, oh, so Wall Street. Oh, we're on Wall Street. Yeah. I didn't know Wall Street was in Fort Worth, Texas. Yeah. The market's stable. Hello? That's funny.

Hello. Oh, my goodness gracious. Sally, are you currently having Texas barbecue at Terry Black's I am not at Terry Black's but that is delicious as a couple of locals we've also been there all good

do we get to meet you when we were in Texas, Sally? We did. And I remember. Yeah. Yes. You do not.

Come on. I was very business when I met you. Very business. Very business. Yes. I'm very serious at work when I'm right there. And I was one of the first in line and I was probably the only person in a business suit.

I actually do remember that. You were in the beginning. Yes. And it was so hot. I was going to say, Sally, you're one of the only people that got a hug and didn't leave sweat on you. Yeah, because we sweated on every single other person because it was fucking hot.

Yeah. So well done you. That was a mild day in Texas, folks. No, that was rough ass. We were fresh off the plane, fresh out of winter, and we nearly died. Yeah, that was so rough. Yeah.

Well, anyway, sweat and barbecue aside, Sally, will you approve today's podcast? Oh, my gosh. Yes, absolutely. I would love to. Yay. Woo. Hi, it's Sally in Dallas, Texas, and I approve this podcast.

To celebrate the fact it's a Friday and we just watched Rebecca Black's Friday in full on YouTube. I didn't realise there was a full song. I thought it was just a chorus. And there's a rap breakdown in it that's awful. So to celebrate that, Tony is going to rap what's coming up. Oh, fucking hell.

Dangers of being a parent and I've got a great new idea but i think i've already been convinced that it's not a good idea it's friday that surprisingly rhymed more than rebecca black's verses that is i've i honestly i did not know it was a full song i don't think that was so terrible but i was like oh it's time to get the bus. Oh, there's the bus. Better catch the bus. Where's my bowl of cereal? Yeah, she's like, what? Yeah, very confusing. I'm not a fan. I'm not personally a fan.

I am good for her, though. She's really, she's still famous. Like, she's probably paying her bills with being like a TikToker or whatever. Well, we just watched it and she got a view and that video has done 300 million views on YouTube and it's still, people are still commenting and still watching so she's probably she's doing all right or do you reckon it's one of those murky ones where like the production company gets it and she got paid two grand maybe she got paid once yeah and they're still and they get the like royalties i hope she's getting a cut i hope she she's got 985 000 followers on instagram okay she's doing all right. She'll figure it out. She's doing all right. All right.

Emily Watson. No, Wilton. Emily Wilton. Emily Wilton. Who's a tarpa? Like a bit of spinach in a pan. She's Wilton. Ask tarpas with children, what's the silliest way you've hurt yourself?

And I can attest that when you have kids, you end up hurting yourself by doing the most embarrassing dumb shit. Like the kids hurt themselves? No, the parent hurts themselves. Oh. Like I. With what? So it's really funny when Mabel gets up close to my nose,

she wants to like. Oh, yeah. Like bite my nose. Yeah. And then the other day, she doesn't have teeth yet. She like gummed my nose and I'm fucking hurt. And it left like a mark. And it's like, what happened to your nose?

And it's just really embarrassing to say, oh, my daughter was just like trying to bite it you just feel like a bit of a dickhead yeah i get it also like um i've like been playing with a baby before or like fucking around with the kids or whatever and like you hurt yourself because you're not used to like being on the floor for that long yeah and there's a lot of there's a bit's a bit of that. Emily says, I was on those big circular swings. You know, they go round and around and it's got multiple seats on it. Like at a fair? Yeah. A lot of parks have those now as well.

What? I've only just started going to playgrounds. There's crazy shit going on out there. There's all sorts of stuff. There are death traps. Do you know what used to be my favorite thing at the park? Flying fox. There's a flying fox at Wombat Bend in Templestowe.

I'm going there. Maybe went on it. It was awesome. That is so cool. They were my favourite thing, that and a swing, just a regular old swing. Emily said, had a bit of momentum going. So I went to put my foot down to kind of like stop and slow us down,

jarred my ankle, twisted my knee and like stumbled out of that and had to limp out of the thing. But what hurts most though is my dignity. Yeah, it's humbling, I reckon. Jen said, I was trying to make my daughter laugh by jumping up and down like a frog. I accidentally kneed myself in the face, gave myself a black eye and a concussion.

Worst of all all i had to explain this to a doctor like when you're young and you're playing in a playground you are so fearless because you're just like oh yep like just get hurt dust it off dust it off and get back up and play with your friends again and you forget that when you're an adult going into a playground it's actually not the same it's not the same yeah it's not the same. Yeah. It's not the same. Lucy says, I was trying to teach my daughter a cheerleading move and I popped a ligament in my finger doing an errant clap. What's an errant clap? Like, woo!

Oh! She, like, just clapped and it just, like, hit or something. Hit the wrong spot. Oh! Michelle said, I tore my calf playing duck, duck, goose with a bunch of eight-year-olds. Well, that's embarrassing. I once punched a five-year-old playing duck, duck, goose.

Why? I didn't mean to. Oh, okay. Oh, but it was like a deliberate action. So you went to like do the. No, no. So duck, duck, goose is when we're like duck, duck, duck, duck, goose. Like you hit people on the head or whatever. And then when they say goose, you have to run around the. No, no. So Duck, Duck, Goose is when we're like duck, duck, duck, duck, like you hit people on the head or whatever.

And then when they say goose, you have to run around the circle and take their spot. And so we're playing. And did you have like the older brother, younger brother, buddy system or whatever? Like when you're the first year in year seven, you get paired up with the year 12. Oh, yeah, yeah. So I went to a school that ended in year 10 and you had to go

and it was called 10's Friends. 10's Friends. Which is quite cute. That's probably why they did it. So so when i was in grade six i had a buddy who was in prep so when you're 10 or 11 you get a buddy that's like four or five that's cute yeah his name is ma little legend do you still in touch no oh that's a shame i wonder how he's doing well yeah shout out to what did you say mart man man yeah shout out to ma what did you say, Mart? Marne. Marne. Shout out to Marne if Marne's listening. So it's like the older kids and the young kids. We're all in a circle playing duck, duck, goose with our buddies

and they're coming around like, duck, duck, duck. Oh, and kids really milk it, eh? Yeah, I don't like that. So one of them touches me on the head and says, goose. And instead of jumping up and running after them, I was like, oh, I could probably just reach and, like, tag them before they get too far away. Oh, you were being cool. And then I accidentally, whilst trying to do that,

just punched the kid next to me square in the side of the jaw. Like, goose, and I was like, oh. So you didn't understand the game at all. Well, I might have had. Oh, instead of getting up, I should hit the kid next to me. That's how you play, isn't it? Oh, you're thinking of Duck, Duck, Roundhouse. Yeah, you're thinking of Duck, Duck, Punch, that kid in the back.

Yeah. Yeah, they always get confused, yeah. Oh, Duck, Duck, Goose. I thought we were playing Duck, Duck, Punch Punch a five-year-old in the jaw. And it's like you just feel awful because you obviously didn't mean to do that. Yeah, I think her name was Jessica. Oh, well, Jessica, if you're listening or watching on Spotify on your smart TV.

Sorry about that, mate. Hope you're well. Sorry, Mama. Shout out to the buddy system at Alpha Mesa Primary School on Grove Street there. Sorry, Jessica. And, Ma the buddy system at Alpha Mesa Primary School on Grove Street there. Sorry, Jessica. And mom, hope you're well. Yeah, hope you're doing well, mom.

Yeah, he kind of disowned me after that. He was like, not my buddy, punching young girls. There was like a ripple effect of, fuck. Yeah. God. There's just no way to come back from that. Well, there is, and that's by making Tony feel awful about something she's done.

Jodie Robson says, after this story, Tony will only have the second most embarrassing story regarding a ball pit. Ball pits are no fucking joke. Can you just bring us up to speed real quick? This is a real humbling episode it yeah it is um i went to bounce like the trampoline indoor trampoline park and i had a big ball pit i was there with a bunch of friends from work um i we were doing the like you

wrestle on the balance beam and there's a ball pit underneath you i fell into the ball pit i couldn't get and it was like a foam pit. Yep. And so the foam was like compressing underneath my body and I couldn't get enough purchase on the thing to get out. And the guys that I was there with from work couldn't lift me out and then a bunch of dudes that were there to like practice, it was like six really buff guys and they all lifted me out of the foam pit.

And all of- So apparently some people who work for us find that funny. Yeah, and I was so sweaty because I was getting so stressed that all of the foam was crumbling up and like sticking to my skin so it made it feel like I was like getting feathered. Was it harder for the boys to grip you and pull you out because you were slippery? I was all wet. That wouldn't have happened to Prince Andrew.

It was. He doesn't sweat, according to him. Sorry, a new movie's just come out about him, so I'm all up about Prince Andrew. Yeah, and so I was all wet. They tried to get me out and they're like lifting me and it was jizzy. It was really not good, to be quite honest with you,

and it's quite traumatising to have brought it back up. Jodie Robinson. Hi, Jodie. There's no way there's a story that's worse. There might be a story that's the same, but I don't think there's one that's worse. I climbed out of the ball pit, must be nice. Oh, good for you, Jodes.

And then jumped down from the ball pit onto the trampoline. I ruptured my PCL, ruptured my MCL, tore my ACL and LCL and ended up dislocating my kneecap. Well, she's just made up a bunch of stuff. I don't know what any of those are. Oh, we know acronyms. It must be nice. Yeah.

Three surgeries later, my knee will never be the same. Three surgeries. But being carried out of a kid's play area on a stretcher was the most embarrassing moment of my life. I'll give you that, actually. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And the ambulance pulls up to the ball pit and you go, oh, something's happened to one of the kids.

Oh, a kid's broken its arm. Yeah. And mum gets wheeled out on the stretcher. Yeah, that's humbling. I'll give you that. That is worse than my life. And finally, Hannah. Hannah leaned over to grab her daughter a dandelion outside

of the swimming class. Isn't that nice? Yeah, because you can make a wish. Yeah, they're real cute. I rolled and fractured my ankle, and that was the second most embarrassing moment of the day. The hot young receptionist from the swimming school called later in the day to check up on me after I'd had a fall earlier this morning.

I'm 29 fucking years old. 29? Had a fall. How dare you? Have we now found out our new age? No, because I've had a fall older than 29 and it was not considered having a fall. So now I've got all these grey areas.

Yeah, fuck. But could you imagine a hot young receptionist 21 say oh probably not even probably 17 18 works and going oh because you're old and 29 just wanted to check in on you because you had a fall and hannah's like fuck you 29 that's too young that's too young that's too young i hope you're doing okay now yeah sending open prayers to you hey it's sally in dallas texas hope you're doing okay now. Yeah. I hope you're doing all right. Sending open prayers to you. Hey, it's Sally in Dallas, Texas, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. And all levels of Patreon are currently scrolling across the bottom of the screen. So if you've seen your name, take a little screenshot and pop it in there. Yep.

Episode three. Thank you very much for your support. Megan, good on you, Megan. Thank you so much. Thanks, Megs. Cassie Blart, Celia Hagsveen, Hazel and Jesse. Thank you so much for being part of the Patreon. Thanks, Hazel.

Love to see it. Love to see it. As I rapped earlier, I've had a great new idea. Sorry. It's strange that doesn't roll off your tongue. Yeah, it doesn't. Yeah, as I was rapping about before, you know when you say to someone, oh, let's have a quick rap about this, like a rap session?

Like, you know when you say that? Oh, I don't like saying stuff like that because when I put in our calendar, we were going to have a whip. Oh, you know, when you say that. I don't like saying stuff because when I put in our calendar, we were going to have a whip. Oh, and you spelled it with a H. Yeah, and then you said, what do you think a whip is? And I was like, oh, what am I missing here? Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I was like, am I going to walk in?

You're like. Yeah, there were a lot of jokes made at my expense, but a lot of lasso chat which made up for it. Yeah, yeah, we went back around to Cowboy Town. I've had a great new idea, but I think I've like maybe already been convinced that maybe it's not a very good idea. Okay. Because of self-awareness or you've done some market research?

I've done a little bit of personal research and I've realised that maybe it's actually not the right way to go forward. I believe in you. Let's find out. I'm proposing eating a big lunch every day. Yes, sold. Next question. Yeah.

So you know how other countries do this, like their bigger meal is lunchtime? Like I feel like it's a big thing in England because you know how like school dinners are a big thing because of Jamie Oliver. That's the only reason I know it and so I don't know if it's a real thing or not. But you know how he had that TV show? With a lot of liberties and stretches made in, yeah. No, But you know how he had that TV show? With a lot of liberties and stretches made in, yeah. No, because you know how he had that TV show and it's like the kids

get fed like a big hot meal at lunchtime. Was that in America or did he do an American version? I think he did like a healthy American, like where it was like changing all the food. But it was like Jamie's school dinners and he went to these schools and fucking changed what they ate and whatever yeah that is the extent of my knowledge on this okay um that's surprising you seem well read in the area yeah thank you um and then like at dinner time they just have like a smaller dinner

because they've had like big lunch so last Friday I was I was working with you guys in the office in the morning and then I was like, cool, I've got to go home. I didn't have any lunch with me and I was like, you know what, I'm going to head home and work from home in the afternoon. And I was like, and I'll just like make myself a sandwich when I get home, whatever. I get home, it's pretty cold, it's pretty dreary. I actually washed my hair so I was like, oh, I'm'm feeling like a bit i want to get a bit snuggly

yeah so i ordered grilled for lunch delicious so i get i got a um mighty melbourne which is like a beef burger with egg and beetroot and like i added brie so i had like soft cheese in there i also got a sweet potato chips um to share like the to share size like the massive one and then like six little nuggies because they do nuggets at grill the hfc yeah yes healthy fried chicken bites so good like they're so good and you know what's mean about grilled apart from everything yeah the little dippy sauces i was just about to say get the herb or the herb mayo whatever to go with the chicken dippers. That's amazing. And you will fucking not have a bad night.

I got the chili mayo and it was literally like shove it up my ass. It's so good. Anyway. I was just about to say this could be an ad for Grilled until you said. Okay, well, it could be. Because that's a great testimonial. On a TV ad and it's like, I love this chili mayo so much,

I shove it in my asshole. Or like it's me biting into the burger. I'm like shove it up my ass. It's so good. Anyway, so I'm like having this good and I've had this massive lunch and then I got an Uber Eats. So like I literally have not gone anywhere. And then I've eaten my big fucking huge lunch

and then I'm on the phone to you you and I are like doing some work stuff together and I'm just like working on my laptop and I worked on the couch yeah but for the whole afternoon I was like really alert because I'd like eaten heaps of food when normally I'll just like have a sandwich or like fucking snack through the day because I haven't had time to sit down or whatever. And I felt really switched on because I was like, oh, I've like fed my brain. Yeah, absolutely.

And because you've had meat and protein. Yeah. Yeah. And I just felt really satisfied. Can I run you through my pros and cons? Or have you got some pros and cons? Well, I'd just like to add one more thing. Please.

Because then at night time, so Torbs also didn't't take lunch so the reason we normally make lunch every day but we didn't have any sandwiches left yeah so we were like cool and then he grabbed i think he ordered nando's probably because that's what we get when we're separate yeah um i get grilled and he gets nando's and then at night when he got home normally i'm fucking ravishing by the time it gets to dinner but both of us were like not that hungry so we just like had some eggs on toast at night time and then like was just a little snacky which was perfect and then you hop into bed you don't have like a belly full of dinner which is supposed to be why it's good for you right 100 so this is why i'm thinking like i'm all in pros and cons from you pros and're all on a big lunch. Pros and cons from you. Well, here's what I love about it is that, first of all, yes,

you're taking in heaps of food but you're burning that energy all day. Yeah. Because when you have a big meal at night, then you just go to bed and it just sits in your tum. Yeah. It's like a waste. A waste? It's not a waste but, yes, I know what you mean.

Oh, yeah. It's like bad for you, I guess, because it's just sitting in your tummy. Another thing, I've got no qualms about dinner not being a big deal. Me too. Bridge has his thing about like it needs to be some event, but if it's leftovers or I've had a big lunch and I'll just have like a smoothie, I don't give a fuck about the order of like big or whatever meals.

I'm on board. Could not give a fuck. I would eat toast for dinner every night. Yeah, easy. Like it would not faze me at all, yeah. Yep, big thick sourdough, peanut butter and a cup of tea and put me to bed, sweetheart. Yes. Yeah. easy. Like it would not faze me at all, yeah. Yep. Big thick sourdough, peanut butter and a cup of tea and put me to bed, sweetheart. Yes.

Yeah. Yep. Now here's the thing with the big lunch. Yeah. And this is more I'm speaking about myself personally. Yep. Is that I love to like order a bit too much. Yeah.

And so I think there's a threshold where you go from like I'm full of protein and energy to finish off my day versus a little bit too much and you're asleep on the couch at 2.30. Okay, so here's where I've already been convinced it's not a good idea. So this was last Friday, right? So like a week ago. We're grilled today. Fuck yeah, we can.

Fuck yeah, we can. Anyway. I've never been so, The way you spoke about it before Fuck I'm so amped to grill Literally Sophie Can you send this to grilled

Please Anyway Can you send Sophie Can you send me to grilled Please Sophie Can you take this to grilled

Personally And grab Pick some up While you're there And bring it back to the office And can I just say Air drop it to them The staff

At Altham Grilled Are some of the best staff you'll meet. One of them's a tarper. I said, so am I. Then I said, did you go to Eltham High? And she said, no, it's Diamond Valley College. And I said, shame. That's funny.

I haven't met the people. Lauren was her name. And no, it wasn't that one. So shut the fuck up. You think it's Lauren in a plane, but not that one. So I haven't met. Edit this before you send it to Grilled. Don't leave that bit in um i've never met the um lauren staff at my local grill because i've only ordered from uber eats

i've never been there i'll go hey you know how your kids go through college this is her yeah this is she's the one who's funding it so on the friday i really liked that it was a work down i actually sat down and wasn't just like working through because normally i'm just like eating while i'm still doing an email or fucking whatever but i like actually sat down enjoyed my food and then got back on my computer so i was like it's actually a really good way of like breaking up your day because you're like sitting down or even if you're like eating with utensils because you can't work at the same time didn't you the relationship between you and my wife bridget because you guys would have your lunch break together, right? You're like, tools down, let's go have lunch together.

We actually like would go to the lunchroom. We'd sit there for an hour together and we'd like heat up our lunch and we'd chat about fucking whatever and then we'd go back to work. It was great. So I think like foster is a great relationship with food also because you're concentrating on what you're doing. Then on Saturday, I went to my sister's for lunch and she made a huge butter chicken.

Was it the curry that was left over from the other time? No, so they ended up not having the curry for dinner and we had it for lunch. There's been internal disputes about a curry going on in the lunch household. Don't worry, I've replaced the yeast and we're all good. Please. So my sister made this big butter chicken for my nephew's birthday. It's what he picked.

It's what he wanted for lunch. And she made like homemade little flatbreads. She made naan. Naan you didn't? Oh, shit. Naan in business. Yeah. Anyway, so she made flatbreads. She went all out. She did the curry from scratch. Like it wasn't just None of you didn't. Oh. No, it's none of your business. Yeah. Anyway, so she made flatbreads.

She went all out. She did the curry from scratch. Like it wasn't just a Patak's jar. Like she's like roasted the spices. No, she wasn't. That's impressive. Yeah. And so it was like really big effort because it was for his birthday.

And so like I had a big bowl of curry. Yeah. And then I had another big bowl of curry. Yeah. And it's like. It's a birthday. It's a celebration. It's like one o'clock. Yeah. And then I had another big ball in Cary. Yeah. And it's like. It's a birthday. It's a celebration. It's like one o'clock.

Yeah. And then it's a birthday. What happens at a birthday party? Cake. Because I had a piece of cake after. And I've had like two homemade little naans and I'm literally bursting. Yeah. All of a sudden my phone goes off because I'd set an alarm for what time I needed to leave their house because I had a tattoo

appointment yep and oh this is pre-tattoo fuck fuck sorry I'm putting two and two together yeah nah you fucked this right up yeah there's so many things so many separate things you've fucked up here yeah I thought you got to say and then I went home and I was a little bit tired so I laid on the couch and didn't do anything. I would have loved for that to have been the reality. And anyway, so I'm like 45 minutes away from the place that I had to go. I'm in the car.

Literally my stomach is rock hard because it's just full of fucking food. Because you're tired of abs. Yeah. Well, okay, we all laughed a little too hard, okay? I mean, what? No, yeah, you mean my abs, right? Yes, yes.

My stomach is literally just like I've pushed my body in a different way to sport, you know, and it's rock hard. I'm in actual pain because I've literally just eaten way too much. Did you need to go to the bathroom? It wasn't really that I needed to poo. But when I saw Tommy Mum would be like, did you need to go to the bathroom? It wasn't really that I needed to poo. But when I saw Tommy Mum would be like, did you need to go to the bathroom, honey? And I'd go, yeah, probably.

Probably. No, it wasn't even there yet. The food was all in my stomach still. Yeah. And I'm like driving to this thing and then I'm like feeling a little bit tired. Yeah. My body's a bit confused because it's like is it bedtime?

I'm like, no, we're doing the big meal at lunch now, and anyway i get there and i meet courtney and she's great we get along really well and then um she's like oh cool so i've just got to finish like drawing up the thing that you want yeah um do you need to go and get anything to eat like because she's like do you just want to go and kill 15 20 minutes okay yeah she's like do you want to go get something to eat and i was like no and she's like she's like no there's heaps of places she's like, do you want to go get something to eat? And I was like, no. And she's like, no, there's heaps of places. She's trying to fuck you off. Yeah. She's like, no, there's heaps of places.

And I was like, no, I've actually just eaten a huge curry. Like I've eaten so much curry. I've eaten two curries and three slices of cake, mate. Like I'm actually full to the brim. Were you picking up on the fact that she was kind of like, I just need you to leave for 15 minutes? I was like, can I just sit here? I just need some fucking, I need respite. Lay on the fact that she was kind of like, I just need you to leave for 15 minutes? I was like, can I just sit here?

I just need some fucking, I need respite. Lay on the tattoo bench. Yeah. And a couple of the other tattooers who I'd like met and we were all chatting or whatever, and they turn around, they go, oh, right on. Like that is actually the best thing to have before, like because you need to be like full of carbs because you're burning heaps of like energy because your body's like stressed.

Yeah, absolutely. And they're like, so you've actually done the right thing. And I did not shit. So I've actually become fitter probably or something. But I didn't poo. So then I got home like five hours later and I didn't poo between then and later. So is what you're saying is the big lunch is okay

if we all get tattooed every afternoon? Yeah, yeah, yeah, which I mean that sounds pretty cool. Do you reckon I should get a tattoo? Sure. I've got a great guy that will do it. Courtney was great? She's amazing. Her Instagram's Miss Quartz.

I've shared her stuff, but like she's fucking awesome. Okay. And so you're saying you're pro big lunch? So I thought that it was a really good idea because it worked on the Friday and then the Saturday I was like, you know what, I could not go back to work after this. So maybe the good thing about eating a massive dinner is that you do just go to bed, but it's not that good

for your bod maybe. But either way, I think it's a work in progress. We could try it today maybe.. We could try it today. Maybe. And we will try it today. And we will. But so I've offered one out of two so far. I think it was two out of two. Don't say you're so sure.

That's true. I couldn't have worked after, but I got work done. On you, yeah. On me. Work happened. Things occurred. Things were achieved. I'll pay it.

I'll pay it. So, yeah, maybe people could give me their tips maybe the amount is important yeah once you tip over that mark it was the bit it's always an extra bit of cake it's the extra no it was i only had one bit of cake it was the second bowl of curry that really fucked but who's making butter curry and not having seconds right like don't even fucking turn up good as well like yeah so yeah i actually don't regret it at all um now we don't do pranks on this show we do not but this is excellent oh no my eight-year-old is currently battling her uncle in a prank war

and last night she delivered this devastating blow when we were at his house oh check out the photographs aren't you oh that's good can you explain it for us um so she's drawn a line outside of um what i'm assuming is the uncle's car yep and written reserved for mr fart i don't think he can recover from this mr fart that's an epic burn yeah that's good yeah i don don't think he can recover from this. Mr. Fart. That's an epic burn. That's good. I don't know if he'll recover. That is so, yeah. You just. Tools down. What is the word?

Surrender to that. A truce. You win. We'll have to end the peace talks. White flag. You go, yeah, no, no, no. I can't beat that. That's so funny.

And isn't it quite sweet as well? It really is. It's really adorable. And she looks so proud of herself. She looks stoked. Now, if I... We don't do pranks. We don't do pranks, so bear that in mind.

But if I wrote, reserve for Mrs. Fart and put a little sign next to your car, would you be like, dang, he's got me? Or would you be like... I'm not married, so I wouldn't assume it was me. Miss Fart, maybe then I'd be worried but mrs fart that's so fishy i can imagine being like who the fuck is that and then you cross that out and says miss and you're like oh damn it all right lodge what do you got um i've i've sent you a i've sent you

a meme that i saw and it's the other week I described to Ryan what his perfect night would be and someone posted this in our Facebook group actually and the text sounds like a cracking night, but can you explain what the photo is, Ryan? The number plate is BJ69KFC. Doesn't that sound good? You won't have a better evening than that. You will not have a better evening than that.

Tell me what could occur to make that evening better. Cake after the KFC. No, too much. Too much. Too much. But you know what I like about this is that scientifically they've got it in the right order because you're not BJ and 69ing after the KFC.

And I've always said that. You've got to fuck before the food. If you can fuck after the dinner, you have not eaten enough. And I actually have always said that. You have always said that. And that's why I never call Tony on a Sunday afternoon. You can't. Because I've had two bowls of curry and I'm ready to go.

No, just kidding. that's harrowing um on monday what keeps you up at night that i've worked i mean that's gonna be close that's right up there don't say right up there sorry it just gets worse and worse uh lots of tarpers have previously worked in mcdonald's i feel like a lot of people have worked at McDonald's during college or in high school. It's a great first job. And don't they have amazing manager? I don't know if this is an Australian thing, but I was always told if you have McDonald's on your resume,

like people really respect it because of the management training and they're like. They do heaps of courses and stuff internally. Heaps of training, but also like they turn up on time. They have accountability and it's like they know how to get shit done. People go, oh, we hired this guy. He knows how to get shit done. How funny.

Yeah. I don't know if that's Australia or everywhere else. Let us know. But it's the I used to work at McDonald's edition of What Keeps You Up at Night and people have said some harrowing shit. Oh, if this is something that's going to turn me off McNuggets, I'm not going to come in on Monday. Nuggets are safe.

Great. Thick shakes. We'll chat to you on Monday. BJ, 69 KFC. Thick shake. Enjoy your weekend. Yeah. Love you.

Got those Hawks this weekend. Oh, I love the Hawks. How many wins have we had this year? Zero. It's going to be one on Monday. Watch this space. Love you, bye.