Toni and Ryan - DVD's on Display

Episode Date: September 4, 2022

What did being lazy cost ya?! And we rap about Ryan's fave childhood movie: Ace Ventura. Love u! Toni xx Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. That's Tony, I'm Ryan, calling Zena. Zena the warrior princess. Hello? Hi, Zena? Hi. Hi, it's Tony and Ryan. Oh my God, you woke me up. I was just about to say, have we woke you up? It's quarter to 11 in the morning. Have you had a big night?

Oh, I had a big night. What did you do? I started a new job. What's the new job? Congratulations. What's the new job? I'm a bartender now. I've wanted to be a bartender since 16, so I got my RSA,

and now four years later, finally a bartender. Well done. Congratulations. That's fucking awesome. And sorry for booking you in for an early approval. No, you were right. We've got a fucking professional in our midst, and I don't mean wrong. Yeah, maybe you should just hire me as well.

So it's the three of us, right? Well, we don't operate a bar at the moment. I was going to say, yeah, Zina, I don't think we work in the line of work you're interested in. Well, maybe I'll have the drinks in the corner, right, and then we drug halfway and no one will know. Yeah, well. Well, they will because I'll sound even worse than I already do.

I like that idea. Well, Xena, I mean, pending obviously your future employment, would you mind approving the podcast for now? Yeah, definitely. Yay! Sweet! Yay! Another podcast.

Hi, it's Xenia and I'm from Brinsburg and Queensland and I approve this podcast. Yeah. Hi, it's Xenia, and I'm from Brinsburg and Queensland, and I approve this podcast. Whenever you're ready. Oh, sorry. Sorry. What a great way to start the week. You feeling good?

Sorry. No. I just thought that would be funny. Yeah. It's gone. It's really backfired. Yeah. So I want you to think about what your favourite childhood movie was.

And I feel like we've all got a few movies that when you're a kid you watch the same movie like 100 times. Yeah, because you've only – and back in the day as well, you only had one fucking VHS. Yeah. So you'd watch the same fucking 101 Dalmatians a million times. Actually, that makes so much sense because, of course, now you've got all this choice. You don't have to watch the same one over and over.

And they were so expensive then. How does it feel, Tony Lodge, when someone shit cans that movie for you? It doesn't feel very nice. So I'm nervous because coming up we're reviewing Ace Ventura and I didn't realise until I watched it last night. I was like, oh, I have seen this a hundred times. Every scene is a real moment and I don't know if it was like when I first started liking comedy.

Like I was a comedy kid and this was one of the first ones where I was like this is really funny you go oh I haven't watched it I'll see how I go and I'm nervous for what's coming that's all I'll say okay yeah all right because Tony a childhood ruiner maybe everyone says that about you. Don't act surprised. No one says that I'm a childhood ruiner. They don't. What a horrible thing to say. Oh, you know, Tony? Oh, that girl that ruins childhoods. But, like, retrospectively, I go, oh, that thing that you like,

that was fun. Yeah, that was fun. Oh, you like that? Oh. That's a choice. Says more about you than it does about Jim Carrey. I used to like that and then my mum got a job, yeah. All right, that's coming up soon.

What has being lazy cost you? I couldn't stand the thought of being at OPSM, at the optometrist for another 10 minutes, so I'm now considering laser eye surgery. For the sake of waiting an extra 10 minutes in the eyeglasses store. At the eyeglasses store. I was going to say the eye store. I was like, yeah, I'll get a pair of ones that work with blue.

I'd love some brown eyes, please. I'll show you. We've got one on the table for you, sweetheart. But, I mean, that's an expensive 10-minute wait, isn't it? I mean, the 10 minutes was on top of the two hours that I'd already been sitting there. Are you going to do it? You've had a bit of feedback.

People are really telling me how it's changed their life. The LASIK. Yeah. My sister actually just got it done. My sister-in-law, Chelsea, she just got it, and she reckons it's changed her life. So that $15 could cost you how much? $6,000 or so, depending on what one you want.

It can be a lot more expensive. Someone told me they paid $10,000 per so, depending on what one you want. It can be a lot more expensive. Someone told me they paid $10,000 per eye. Really? Yeah. Someone messaged me and was like, oh, I've had LASIK and it was this much. I was like, holy cannoli. So are you alone in what we're calling throwing money at laziness?

It turns out no. And I think that I could have written all of these comments myself. I haven't done all of them. Oh, Shmoney Shmodge has written through. No one commented on my post, so I just started writing random things that I've done. Creating Facebook accounts to leave comments. Nicole Varnado. Shabagadoo.

Fresh shabagadoo. Nicole. We'll go with Nicole. I regularly rent or buy movies on Amazon Prime because I'm too lazy to walk down the hall and find the DVD I already own. That is. Because you're a DVD. You have DVDs and stuff, don't you?

No, we don't have any DVDs. I think we've got like five movies that I love on DVD. Right. I've seen some in your house. Oh, I think that you might be thinking of like the PlayStation games that are on there. But are you still telling me that you're like, oh, I could walk over to that room, get the disc out and put it in,

or I could spend $5? The thing is, right, is that back in the DVD days, it was a real moment in time, which, Nicole, are you stuck in time? Yes. You've still got all these DVDs and Blu-rays. Respect it. All good. But you know how, say, you sit down to watch Ace Ventura.

You put the DVD in. Then later on you want to watch The Incredibles. So you open up The Incredibles disc, you take the disc out, and then you take Ace Ventura out of the DVD player. You put that in the Incredibles one. You can't be bothered. And then all of a sudden they're all one off. Yeah.

And then you watch She's the Man and the DVD for She's the Man then is in the fucking Harry Potter case. So that's a lot of admin. Yeah, and you don't like admin. And considering walking down the hallway and then going, let's watch Ace Ventura but, you know, the fucking Lord of the Rings DVD is in there, then what are you going to do?

I'd like to send a shout-out to my mates Liam and Phil. Yeah. Who have a wild collection of DVDs. Oh, are they on display? Yeah. But here's the thing. I remember Phil saying once, like, you know how people have, like, those beautiful walls full of books?

Oh, yeah. And it's a real, like, even just for interior design, like it looks beautiful and it looks grand and you're like, oh, these people must be smart. They've got a wall of books. They've got all these books. And it actually just looks fantastic. Yeah.

That's what our place will be like with all these, like, beautiful DVDs. So in time we will have, like, collected all this great stuff and we'll have beautiful walls of DVDs. No, see, it doesn't work because I can guarantee that over 50% of them are from fucking Bali and they aren't even nice looking. They're in that sleeve. He came to visit from me when I was in Malaysia and he brought an empty suitcase and took home a lot of stuff.

I bet. But here's the thing. Old DVDs don't look cool. I would say quite the opposite. It's kind of one of the more bogan things you can do. It's a real stuck-in time move, I feel. And here they were going, I mean, nothing's going to replace DVDs. Oh, God.

They're going to be frightened when they wake up in 2015, aren't they? And ironically, Phil used to work for Netflix. No. I know. I know. Oh, my God. Kelly Daly says, We live in a third floor apartment

and get groceries delivered every week instead of just going and doing the shopping because we're too lazy to bring the groceries upstairs. Do delivery people bring it up? Well, they obviously don't have a lift, I'm guessing, so if you pay for delivery, they obviously bring it up to your room. That's good work because delivery people can sometimes take the easy way out. Yeah.

I respect that because stairs are fucked and then you add stuff in. Yeah. I've had many a phone call from an Uber Eats driver like, oh, I'm on the street. I'm like, bro. Cool. Come upstairs, bud. Yeah.

Can you see the door? Yeah. Use it. It's number three. Yeah. Jennifer Ikebuchi. Ooh. Hey, Jennifer.

I bought sheets instead of doing laundry Pour one out for Yamaguchi I respect the hustle there Yeah We've all thought about it Yeah There was a fair few comments of people saying Yeah, like really needed underwear Couldn't be bothered doing the washing

And bought some from Target or whatever. This concept's torn me because principle-wise I hate wasting money. Mate, have you seen what you're wearing? You obviously love wasting money. I'm wearing a great sweater today. Don't fucking pull that face at my sweater. Sorry. But as someone who also, especially when I was younger,

didn't like change the sheets that often because you only have one pair when you're young. Yeah. So you've got to get up. If you wait until midday, like it's too late because they won't dry. Yeah, and even if you have a dryer, you're like, oh, what a rigmarole. Dry it, mate. Yeah, but you didn't then.

We just bought a dryer for the first time when I was 30. Yeah, how good is it? But, yeah, and a few times I was like, oh. Got a girl coming around. Yeah, got a girl coming around. Probably should buy some new shades. That's funny. That's actually very, very relatable, I think.

Thank you. Because I get it. Yeah. I'd do it too. I'm just fucking so lazy. Hi, admin. Ebony said that she once went to the hairdressers to get her hair done just so they could braid it afterwards because she couldn't be bothered

doing her own hair for work. Yeah, now that is respectable. I also would accept I didn't need a haircut but I wanted a head massage. Oh, I'd accept that. Do you know what I really want to buy? One of those Orgasmatron things, the like claw that you, oh, my God. I'll tell you what's annoying though. You can't do it to yourself.

How is that possible? Well, it's kind of like how you can't tickle yourself. That's a real shame. And not through lack of trying. But I still don't know the science behind why the orgasmatron doesn't work on yourself. It must be the angle of it or who knows. It's the angle of the dangle.

Annika Amara says, I had a pregnancy test Ubered to my house, like Uber Eats, I guess you know how you can do Uber grocery, because I had gastro so I couldn't leave the house but was paranoid that it was actually morning sickness and there was no way I was waiting until the next day to find out. I don't even think that's lazy. I think that's fine. I think that's ingenuitive.

Yeah. Ingenious. How do I say this without seeming judgy? I don't think you can say anything. I can't fucking say it anyway. Imagine just being the Uber Eats guy, you know, and they're like, oh, what's the order? It's just a pregnancy test.

Just one pregnancy test. Okay. Surely if you're Uber Eats-ing from the chemist, you're getting some fucking glucagel jelly beans or something. You know those ones that are healthy? Yeah, that's one of the fucking great scams, but also they are delicious. They are so good.

Laurie Kalkin and this fucking sent me, because it sounds exactly like something I would do, very extreme. My car needed new tyres and on the way to get the new tyres, found out how much they were going to cost and thought, fuck, that sounds like a whole lot of shit. Left two hours later having traded in the tyre needing car for a brand new $34,000 car because I didn't want to pay for new tyres. Yeah.

Laurie, I fucking hear you, sister. That's exactly what I would have done. Fuck those tyres. Oh, my God. And isn't that just because it's one of those things where you go, oh, I'll just get a new fucking car. Let you say it, but she's done it. Laurie, I'm right there with you, girl.

I would have done the exact same thing. There's so much to unpack here. First of all, you saying, you know how you're always like, you just buy a car? No one's like that, just you and Laurie. No, but you know how you- Laurie, Tony, no, I don't know how you just say that. Laurie texts me.

But I know that you do. Laurie texts me because I think we could be friends. But the fact she actually did it, respect. It's a lot, isn't it? But I just think that's so fucking hilarious. Can you imagine the person doing the trading going, oh, yeah, fucking looks pretty good, this, my, blah, blah, blah. Oh, the tires are a bit bald.

And she's like, if you fucking mention those tires. Yeah, she's like, no, I just got them done. She's like, look away, look away. Oh, you might get a bit of extra value if you get new tires and that. She's like, if I was going to put new tires on it. I'd just keep the fucking car. There's nothing wrong with it. They're like, oh, why are you trading it in?

Is there something wrong with it? She's like, no, it's genuinely fine. That's so good. I know. But this one. What? That's not the last one? The Peste de Resistance or whatever they say.

Sorry. Are you telling me that buying a car to save the $300 for new tyres and just the annoyance of going to the tyre power is not the crescendo of this. The crescendo. Of this. Olivia Jorgensen. Tarpers, we need a fucking lift. This is, what's the name again?

Olivia. Olivia. Welcome to the fucking Hall of Fame, mate. Okay. What the fuck? mate. Okay. What the fuck? Buying a house in an area I can't really afford

and don't really like to avoid the commute. Oh, no. Absolutely. Yeah. 100%. Throwing money at a problem, mate. No. It'd cost you money not to live there. Tolls, mate.

Tolls, tolls. Gas. Have you seen the petrol prices in this economy? Train ticket. There's COVID on trains now. Move into the office. Fuck the commute ride off. Hi, it's Senia, and I'm from Brinsburg and Queensland,

and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tubbers over at our Patreon. They're loving our exclusive content, just loving it sick. Loving it sick. Lots of fun. And I believe that as... As this podcast goes to air.

That people will be receiving emails about their Frank Green water bottle. If you are owed a Frank Green one, check your inbox, check your junk, check your spam. And if you have any questions about Frank Green Water Bottles, please message on Patreon. Okay. Because we will see all of them because we'll be checking them a lot. Don't message on Instagram or Facebook or anything because they get lost.

They do. And Tony and I will be manning the inbox. Otherwise, we could give out the email address. Yeah, we could do inbox. Yes. Otherwise, we could give out the email address. Yeah, we could do that. Yeah. Otherwise, you could email merch at tonyandryan.com.au. Fuck, how official is that? Fucking finger me in the arsehole.

How good is that? Fucking how good is that? Roshwin Jones, thank you so much. Ed, Charlotte Dutton, Alex Larson. Oh, you're Larson to say that. You're Larson to say that. Lisa Starr. Oh, the real star of the show.

Julie Hagen and Irene Haldorsen. Wow, fucking hell. Want any more names? Can't afford the Patreon. Bought all those extra names. Want to buy a vowel? Paige. Paige Bockman, thank you so much.

Carissa van der Kroon, Frankie Morales and Trilby. Trilby. Trilby, who you'll all know, tarp of fame of getting that amazing tattoo over in Perth. The first tarp tattoo. The first one, yeah. The tarp tattoo virgin. One of one. I think there's been another.

One of two. Yeah, I was going to say there's been another. Yeah. But anyway, thank you so much to everybody over there. We fucking love to see it. Tomorrow on the show, things you can say at a music concert and also in the bedroom. As someone who doesn't like fun, I'm not great at this.

Yeah, it's not great for you. Oh, maybe that could be, you could work that into your gear though, like something like, oh, can we leave early? That's coming up tomorrow. But thank you to everyone on Patreon who voted for, we did mystery slash comedy genre. So we were choosing between the nice guys, Ryan Gosling and Russell Crowe. Is that a comedy?

I don't actually know. I think it's supposed to be, yeah. Right. Ghostbusters, the OG one, like the Dan Aykroyd one. Murder Mystery, the Jennifer Anderson and Adam Sandler. Have you seen on TikTok at the moment that audio that's going viral and it's like, oh, and the Emmy goes to Adam Sandler. Have you seen on TikTok at the moment that audio that's going viral and it's like, oh, and Amy goes to Adam Sandler and he's like, now everybody else will be forever known as the guys

who lost to Adam Sandler. But it's so fucking funny. And it's this girl and she's, I'm sorry, it's really hard to describe a video, isn't it? No, you're doing great. And it's this girl and she's like just like this average girl and she's like, oh, when my boyfriend picks me over two really hot college girls or something and it's her like mouthing audio,

you'll forever be known as the guys who lost to Adam Sandler. And it's so funny. I love that. Yeah, it's very funny. And Pink Panther, the Steve Martin one. But the runaway winner. Ace Ventura, Jim Carrey. Pet detective.

Yeah. So the first one, there's two, isn't there? The sequel was made the following year because the first one was such a success. And it was like Jim Carrey's breakout role. That never works. They did that with Twilight. And then there was a

spin-off and maybe a later one. The second one was still pretty funny. Really? I can't believe you hadn't seen it. Is it a real boy? Is it a boy movie? I think maybe because this came out in like, what, 95? Yeah, 94.

Yeah. I think. I think I maybe just missed it a bit. I was born in 93. You're not going to watch it as one, you know what I mean? What I couldn't understand was watching it again now as a person in their early 30s beautiful is it like a bit of mayo on that there's some aspects that you're like is this a kid's movie but then there's obviously like a sex scene and sex references and you're like well it's

it's not a kid's movie but it's very slapstick and theatrical almost isn't it it's absolutely not a kid's movie but i'd say it's like it's like a teenager's of a slapstick and theatrical almost, isn't it? It's absolutely not a kids movie, but I'd say it's like a teenagers movie, I think. I guess because of the silliness. Yeah. Is this meant, like just pulling funny faces, or is that a kids? Yeah. Stoners? Teenagers smoking weed, I guess would be like the target demographic for this.

So you're watching for the first time. Well, I mean, so I thought, right? So I was like, I haven't seen this movie. And I was like, I've seen obviously like the beginning because it's played on Channel 7 100 times or whatever. And then I had seen it but not all at the same time. Yeah. And so like bits would come up and I'd be like, oh, I've seen this bit.

But what really confused me, and I hope that you get what I'm saying. So you know how like the beginning of the movie is like obviously really iconic, like with them, then he goes into the tank and he's like looking for the diamond where the dolphin's been stolen or whatever. And obviously the first scene where he steals that dog back and that, he has sex with that chick or whatever. And then the like next section of the movie is him like getting like chased by that shark.

He's in a shark tank, which is horrifying. He's being chased by the. When he, when he goes to that fancy party. Yes. And he falls in that thing and it's like, there's a shark in there. Yeah. And then the next part of the movie that I recognised was like them down in the docks like where he finds Dan Marino and whatever.

I thought they were three different movies because they just don't fit together. What do you mean? Well, the way you described it, they don't fit together because you missed about five scenes between each one. No, but so they're like the three bits that I'd seen. Right. And you're like, what ties all these things together? Yeah.

How many of these movies did they do? Because if you saw like the end part when they're down in the docks, you're like, there's no reference to really him being like a pet detective. Like he's just cracking a case. He's finding a dolphin. Well, yeah. Which is what a pet detective would do. Apologies. you know. And when he's in the tank, it's like an animal

because he's looking for a dolphin. I mean, how are these things connected? No, so like I get that, but I'd seen these three things and I was just like, I don't get it. I think I've seen Titanic a hundred times but never in the one sitting. Except for when we watched it for the pod and you were like, oh, that's. I've tripped away at this over years.

So I know the gist of it. So did you laugh? Did you think it was funny? Like. This. I love this movie. I've watched it so many times. No, I know, right?

And it's a bit like we're watching The Lion King as an adult who hadn't watched it as a kid. I understand why it's really nostalgic for people. I truly do. Would I have thought it was funny as an eight-year-old? A hundred percent. Like the faces and the whole writing there and stuff like that. Like that's funny as a kid.

I just think that I maybe missed the boat a little bit. Yeah, there's a lot of like subtle little gags that I didn't realise until watching it yesterday. Yeah, like I a lot of like subtle little gags that I didn't realise until watching it yesterday. Yeah, like I liked the bit where he like jiggles the keys to like let the animals know to like hide or whatever. Ventura. Yeah. Yes, Satan? Oh, sorry.

He sounded like someone else and just looks him straight in the eye. That did me in. Oh my god. That did me in. You are such a boy. It's so funny. So I watched this very late last night. Oh. And I wrote like two things down in my phone. Okay.

And then I woke up this morning and was like, oh, I think I wrote some notes about that. This is so unfair because I have to write a whole rap about the movie. I can watch it late at night and go, here's two funny things. The first thing is just like, how hot's Courtney Cox? Gorgeous. So good. I understand why she was like the it girl of the 90s. I don't remember.

Obviously, Jennifer Aniston has like probably this decade. But like Courtney Cox was doing a lot of movies back then. Yeah, we've watched all of them, I think. Yeah, like She Scream. And I was like, oh. And I, this sounds, I forgot she was in it. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, fuck Courtney Cox.

And I was like, oh, of course, she's like the second main character of was in it. Yeah. And then I was like, oh, fuck, Courtney Cox. And I was like, of course, she's like the second main character of the whole thing. Yeah. And when they have sexy times and all the animals are watching, that was pretty funny. But just like how goofy it is. She's like, oh, four times. He's like, sorry, I was tired.

I'm just like, oh, my God. This is so – you know how when – oh, my God, I've just figured it out. You know when you watch Brides just like, oh, my God. You know how it went? Oh, my God. I've just figured it out. You know when you watch Bridesmaids, which is my favourite movie, and you were in your jumper the whole time, like really cringe? That's how I felt when I was watching Ace Ventura. I'm sorry. Yeah, but to be fair to Bridesmaids, it was cringe because they,

like by design. This one's not on purpose. Not because it was shit. So I feel like we don't rate the movies, but, I mean, five out of ten. Would that be fair for me? I agree with we don't rate the movies. That's an unofficial rating. Do not take that as gospel.

But, I mean, I did write a rap. Good. Okay. Don't fucking ruin this for me. I haven't. Good. I was nice. Ventura.

Have you seen Breaking Bad? No. Oh, okay. The first few episodes. Oh, no, because that guy's in it. Is he? Did he say the line? He's like mute in Breaking Bad.

Yeah. He probably lost his voice from doing Ventura too many times. Must have. What's the guy's name in Breaking Bad? Yeah. We probably lost his voice from doing Ventura. Too many times. Must have. What's the guy's name in Breaking Bad? Helsingberg. Eisenberg? Yeah, fucking whatever.

Helsingberg. Are you thinking? Heineken. Van Helsing? Aaron Scott. Aaron Paul. Aaron Scott. Who's Aaron Scott?

He's a golfer. I don't know. Aaron Paul. Aaron Scott. Who's Aaron Scott? He's a golfer. I don't know. All right. MC Tony Lodge is going to not destroy my favourite childhood movie. Do you want me to do Animal Noises? Sorry? Would you like me to do Animal Noises as your hype man? I'd actually love that.

Okay, great. Yeah, yeah. Just thought I'd check. Didn't want to ruin the artist thing. All right. No, that's okay. Okay, ready? What sound does a dolphin make?

Perfect. Perfect. As thought I'd check. Didn't want to ruin the artist thing. All right. No, that's okay. Okay, ready? What sound does a dolphin make? Perfect. As an example. Yeah. Ace Ventura, the pet detective. Finding a dolphin was his objective. He'd plan their pets, you know. People think he's dumb. Talking from his bum.

Finds a dime in his snowflakes tank People think his job's a load of wank But he's going to save the day And keep all the animals safe Yeah, he is, yeah he is See, I was kind Yeah, you were great Yeah

You were great, you were great Sorry, I fucking nearly threw both of us trying to do that dolphin sound Oh, the dolphin sound Oh, that sounded a bit like it Yeah, it was quite similar And I thought, I'm stepping on the audio queen's territory here doing sound effects and I got nervous. That was great though.

Thank you. He does love animals. He does. And, you know, fucking if that's a crime, lock me up. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I love animals.

You love BJ. He misses you, by the way. I do love BJ, your dog. You said you were going to bring him in today. I did. That's why I got up early and took him for a run. Oh, so that he could just curl up on the couch? And then I didn't bring him.

Yeah. I wrapped him up in a blanket before I left, though. Oh, like a little taco dog? Yeah. Oh, that's cute. Anyway, enough dog chat. Never enough, but you'll love to see it. My love to see it is that there is a new... We have a lot of listeners in America, right?

Yep. We get a lot of people being like, is China a real place? It is. A new Aussie budget airline has allowed the Australian public to name its first plane. And it's called Shazza. Great.

And the budget airline is called Bonza. Oh, I think I was... Yeah. They're really leaning into that, aren't they? Yeah. And it's like, this is the plane. They're not helping us convince Americans that we're real. I know, and so I just wanted to say, this is actually real.

This isn't a fucking Batuta Advocate article. This is a real thing. Can I just let everyone know that Toni recited some research she read in the newspaper called The Onion, and Torbs had to tell her that The Onion is not a real website. I didn't know. This was, can I please stick up for myself here, this was probably about eight years ago.

The internet was different then. It was like when I got catfished. Yeah, okay. Yeah, it was a different place. So when you say it must be true it's on the internet. I don't say that. I've never said that. What were you saying here?

I said that people ask if Australia's a real place. This one is legit. Okay. As far as I know. It was on the project. Anyway, I thought that was really funny. No, that is good because Nah, that is good. That is good.

Bonza. Would you trust someone? Fuck no. Are you flying with Bonza? Wouldn't have thought so. Oh, and instead of them being like, welcome to the A380, be like, yeah, welcome to Shazza. Put your fucking durry out because we're about to fucking take off, mate. Or don't put it out. Fucking smoke the whole way there.

The pilot will be. Yeah, mate, don't fucking worry about it, you know? Is that what you really want to do with your life? I'll catch a bus. Yeah, I'll drive you, mate. Yeah. Coming from the US, I'll get a jet ski. Jet ski?

What have you got? I want you to read out the big four letters of this billboard. Oh, okay. Because I love a good marketing story. Oh, you do? Yeah. What does it say on the billboard there? Please buy Yorkshire tea.

That's what it says. Please buy Yorkshire tea. Now read the line at the top, the little one. We spent our whole Australian marketing budget on this billboard, so we'll just level with you. Please buy Yorkshire tea. It's the number one brew in the UK, so we promise it's nice. I'd buy it.

I respect that. I 100% would buy it. Because obviously every company is like, we're the best and it's so good. Here's this spiritual meat. 100% would buy it. Because obviously every company's like, we're the best and it's so good. No. Here's this spiritual meat. Hey, guys, we fucking blew all the money on just getting the billboard, so we ran out of space to do any graphics. So can you just buy the tea?

I just think those anti-marketing campaigns are fucking great. Have you seen the ones from like Cotton On and Boost Juice and stuff? And it's like, my boss, I need to impress my boss or they're going to fire me. Can you please like and share these posts and buy something for me or something? And people, like, the post went viral. Yeah, like that. Sorry, viral.

And, yeah, like, so good. And I think people are just like, you know what? It's not pretentious. It's just, like, getting on my level. I like it. Put the kettle on, Doug. Mate, I've already ordered six boxes of the tea. Get around it.

Delivery. Of course, of course. I'm not going to pick it up. Yeah, deliver it to the door. Deliver it to the kettle, please. Thank you to everyone who was sharing their stories, by the way. Instead of click and collect, it's click and kettle. I put it right in.

Do I have to jiggle it as well or is that extra? Nah, well you're not paying for teabagging. You know how much I charge for that. It's going to be broke. If anybody else has any What Did Being Lazy Cost You story, we'd love to fucking hear it. Pop them on today's thread. I've got one

for next week because I'm loving this area. It's so great. It's about pet owners and I've done it. Oh, my God. And it's the most fucked thing. Love it. Save it. Back next week.

Tomorrow, what you can say at a music concert and also in the bedroom. So we'll chat to you then. Love you. Bye. As women, our life stages come with unique risk factors. Like when our estrogen levels drop during menopause, causing the risk of heart disease to go up. Know your risks. Visit heartandstroke.ca.