Toni and Ryan - End Of Year Wrap Rap

Episode Date: December 14, 2022

It's the end of the year - and we're WRAPPING UP WITH A RAP! Fuckin' love ya! Toni xoxoxoxoox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. Hello, my name is Tony Lodge. This is Ryan John Dunn with me. And we're calling Tom Terrific. Hello? Is that Tom? This is Tom. It's Tony and Ryan. How you doing? Hi, Tom. Fuck me sideways. Where you guys been?

Yeah, we're slightly late. Sorry, that's my fault. I'm always running a little bit late. Yeah. No problem. I'm so thrilled to talk to you guys. You know, I love you so much. I know you probably hear that from everybody, but I'm the one who means it. Well, we actually don't hear that enough for our insecure selves, so thank you

for saying that. I really appreciate that. Needed that today, Tom. Yeah, one of those days, man. You know how you have friends in your head sometimes and you don't really know them, but you're like, geez, I could be great friends with them. Well, I think that you two and I would have the best time just snuggling up with some Maccas, watching all the movies that Tony should have seen

but hasn't yet. That actually sounds amazing. A sentence has never hit my heart as much as that one. Especially the inclusion of the Maccas. Maccas on the couch watching all the movies that Tony hasn't seen. We'll queue up any James Bond film and queue up a McChicken and some nuggets with some sweet and sour sauce, Tom, because I'll be at your place in a couple of hours.

Yeah, we don't need to ask you to approve the podcast anymore because we fucking approve you. So good on you, Tom. Oh, thank you so much. And I not only approve this podcast, I demand it. Oh. Talk to me. Okay.

This is a change from cuddling on the couch. Netflix and chill, if you know what I'm saying. This is Tom from New Jersey, and I not only approve this podcast, I demand it. We're just going to start the show today by Tony telling everyone how great a husband I am. Yesterday after we had recorded in the morning, Ryan's wife Bridget was here because she was kind of doing a few things in the city. And obviously because you've only got one car at the moment. She was like, I'm just coming to work with you and hang out between the two appointments I've got.

And after we'd recorded, we were all sitting out there in the office having lunch together and Bridget said, oh, Ryan, you don't mind dropping me off in South Yarra for my appointment, do you? And you were like, oh, no, when is it? And she goes, five o'clock. And I just went. What is the most fucked suburb in Melbourne when it comes to traffic? Getting between Richmond and South Yarra. And what time do you reckon is the worst time to attempt that feat?

Between about 4 and 7 p.m. Yep. Yep. Hey, can you just do me a favour? Could you drop me off at this place at 5? And you went. It's the opposite direction to our house. And you went, yep.

And I went, whoa, I'm out of here. I actually saw you instantly go, I'm going home, guys. See you later. Yeah, see you guys later. Because I was like, fuck that. Like, fuck that. But also, because you guys have only got the one car, it was kind of like she was hanging out and waiting for you

because obviously you're both head home together. And I know what you're like. You like to settle in and get work done. Yep. And so I knew that your plan was like, cool, if Bridges still got one appointment, I've got a couple of hours here to like knuckle down and get all my shit done. Get it done.

Interruption free. If you could just. Drop me off at South Yarra, which should take 10 minutes, but will take two hours instead. It'll take two hours. Drop me off. It was a hair appointment, which is about an hour and a bit. And I was like, do I come back?

It's not worth it because the 40 minutes it takes you to get back by the time you then have to leave again. Someone's been hanging out with my internal monologue because this sounds familiar. Honestly, as soon as she said it, I was like, cool, see you guys tomorrow. I don't want to have to deal or be around with this shit. Because as soon as she asked, I was like, no thanks.

Wouldn't have thought so, bud. Let's do normal or nah. Yeah, okay. Normal or nah. Asking annoying tasks from people. It's a small favour. Just a small favour. A small three-hour favour.

Round trip at that time of day, yes. And when we got to, you know, local chat, there's this curved bit that goes around the bridge. You know how you can do that bit? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It took probably 15 minutes to go 100 metres. It is honestly like the worst. It's a little bottleneck.

It's awful. And Bridge goes, this is going to take ages. Traffic's fucked. You could have probably been working still. Could I? Could I? No. But then, because you're such a nice guy,

especially at the moment while she's pregnant, you went, oh. Oh, wouldn't it be? What? I hate being on my computer. Could I have? I wouldn't have been. What? I hate being on my computer. Could I have? I don't think so. You overcompensate the other way and you go, oh, I didn't even think of that. I didn't even think of that.

Let's not go on holidays this year because there's no place I'd rather be than just in traffic between four and seven going to South Yarra from Richmond. In fact, the time off from the pod, you're still going to drive into the city and do that. Yeah. You told me about those holiday plans. Yeah. Fuck Airbnb.

Yeah. Fuck Hawaii. Fuck Fiji. Yeah. I got some clippers from South Yarra. Yeah. Whoa. All right, normal enough.

Heather. Hi, Heather. Licking the Q-tip before putting it in your ear. I hate raw dog in the cotton buds, says Heather. Nah. But I don't know. Cast your mind back. Remember when we had that?

I think someone said something similar, but it was about how you always gag when the Q-tip goes in one ear, not the other. And I said that that happens to me as well. And then there was all this chat about Q-tips, and apparently if you wet it, and obviously you're not supposed to put anything smaller than your elbow in your ear, but if you wet it, apparently it's better.

Because it can absorb and get the gum. Yeah, but I would never lick it. No, your own mouth. There's other places to dampen things. Well, I run it under the tap. Yeah. Spit from a distance. And then I use like a cotton bar, cotton, you know,

those circles of cotton, like cotton round or cotton pad or whatever it's called, and then I use that to like squeeze the excess water out and then I use it. That's what I do. That's clever. That's clever. I don't think I would leak it. So you're just putting your own – and I'm not, like, a germaphobe,

like, by any means. I'd leak the floor. Yeah, I've seen your house. Yeah. What? Wait, what? But, no, I think that's – yeah. You know, I just –

It feels gross. Murray Hughes says, oh, normal, but my husband reuses the same Q-tip over and over and over again. I feel like that's more gross. Yeah, 100%. I'm licking it if that's, oh, is he licking it every time he uses it? Oh, well, he says, oh, because she says the lick is. Is he licking it every time he uses it?

Oh, I didn't even really realise that. That's fucked. So Murray's saying it's normal to lick it, but my husband reuses- Is he re-licking every time? That's fucking cool. That's probably the grossest thing. I didn't actually put that together when I was- That's not okay.

No. That's a fucking big fat nah, if you ask me. And you are, because we're doing this podcast together. I mean, they're literally asking you. Normal or nah, what? Did you want me to answer? Tony, shut the fuck up. We weren't asking you. Do you think this

is normal? No. Fucking tell someone who cares, bitch. I don't think I asked you. I don't remember asking. Yeah, I'm going to say a fucking absolutely the fuck not. If you're licking between reusing. But also, and I don't mean to sound out of touch here.

Of course not. A box of Q-tips is about $5 and there's like $300 in there. You don't need to reuse it. You don't need to reuse it. That is one of those things you don't need to reuse. Yeah, correct. Condoms, tampons, don't reuse those things, guys. Reuse condoms. Fuck.

I mean. Imagine if you put it on inside out. Then you might as well not use one at all. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. Ali Ratcliffe Barnes. Thanks for moving on from that.

Normal or nah? Going around the room and taking it in turns to open your Christmas presents on Christmas Day rather than having just like a present opening free-for-all. Normal or nah? Normal. You go around in a circle? Yeah. So we do that.

Or we do one at a time. Well, so my – sorry, I just got a little bit emotional. So like when I was growing up, my mum would always sit at the Christmas tree and like she would be Santa. Yeah. And so she would go like, oh, for Tony from mum and dad. And then pass it out. And then I'd open it and I'd go, oh, knickers or whatever it was.

And then she'd go, oh, how nice. And then she'd go, like my sister from mum and dad would do it. And so you'd see what everybody got. Yeah. And mum would get to see you open everything. I think that's because when even if it's a secret Santa, which ours is tomorrow, but you want to see the person that you got opening their present.

Yeah, 100%. And so when it's a free-for-all, it happens so quick and blah, blah, blah. You want to enjoy it. So it's normal for our family. And usually it was like one of the kids would be Santa and we'd dress up and like, you know. And it's obviously as you go on it gets a bit louder and noisier. Oh, yeah.

And there's fucking – and like there's wrapping paper everywhere and my dad would like – and my brother would like wrap it up into balls and fucking ditch it at us and stuff. So it used to be the youngest for a while, and my brother would like wrap it up into balls and fucking ditch it at us and stuff like. So it used to be the youngest for a while, youngest cousin would do it. But now the youngest is Georgia, who's 28. So it's not like this cute little, oh, the kids are over there. She's fucking hung over from a party at uni the night before or whatever.

Maybe, maybe it's, it's my turn. I think so. Yeah, I'll dress up. Do you have like a tradition at your house for like, who, like is it a big deal when you put the tree out for like who puts the angel on or anything? Like do you have that? The first Christmas tree in 30 years this year. Right. So when you say is there a, no, there is no precedence.

But growing up like with your mum was there like a. Never really had a Christmas tree. Oh, right. No, it wasn't a thing for us. Oh. So nothing, yeah. So when you were saying like, oh, we do it on- We never really had a Christmas tree. Oh, right. No, it wasn't a thing for us. Oh. So nothing. Yeah.

So when you were saying like, oh, we do it on the first and we do it like this and I've read your book and I've- There's like a very extensive Christmas section. Process and step by step. Yeah. So we don't have any of that. I can't wait for people to read that actually in the book. Yeah, it's great. Yeah.

Available for pre-order now. I can't wait for them to read it in February. Yeah. Oh, in 10 months. Oh. Yeah. Yeah. It's great to read now. It's't wait for them to read it in February. Yeah. In 10 months, I'll. Yeah. It's great to read now. It's evergreen. Okay.

It's evergreen. But thank you, Ali, for that question. Oh, that's a great question. But, yeah, I like, and we couldn't open presents until, like I would watch on movies and stuff how kids would be able to just, like, wake up and go and start opening presents without their mum and dad. I was like, oh, I'd be dead. Yeah, see you later, mate.

We weren't allowed to touch the presents under the tree. We weren't allowed to touch them. You weren't allowed to pick something up and see how heavy it was. For whoever got me for Secret Santa, I have held and fondled my present. It's beautifully wrapped. There might be a clue about who got me. But it gives away a bit, doesn't it? Well, yeah, that's why when I said, did you move those,

I said, oh, well, I'd hate for it to be a surprise. Yeah. Yep. We'll talk about that tomorrow. Jimmy B in Patreon. Now I'm going to just hand up here. I'm out of my depth with this question. Okay.

So I can answer the question, but I don't really know of this phenomenon that Jimmy is suggesting. Oh, is it about the female clitoris? Normal or nah? Finding where she likes it. Did you know, Jimmy? Yeah, I've read the message. People who like

Twilight hate Buffy and people who love Buffy hate Twilight. Is this normal or nah? Now, you are a Twi-hard. I am a Twi-hard, yeah. Still into my late adulthood. Late adulthood.

Oh, sorry. Late 20s, mate. Late 20s. Late mid-20s. I guess, yeah. You're in your late 20s. Yeah, I am. I'm 29.

You're almost early 30s, mate. Yeah, I just turned 29. Thanks. Thanks very much. Well, are you a Buffy fan? I never watched it growing up. I think I was a little bit young to watch it when I was growing up. We get it, mate.

You're in your 20s. But about a year ago, I was like, oh, my God, I love Twilight. I quite enjoyed The Vampire Diaries. Like I watched like two seasons of Vampire Diaries, which I quite liked. Maybe Buffy's in my wheelhouse. And because Buffy, there's like 50 seasons. So I was like that'll keep me busy for a while,

especially during COVID. You were just looking for things that would keep me busy. Yep. And I tried to watch it and I didn't like it. But I don't think I didn't like it because of I think it was just a bit and I say this with love. I think it was a little bit dated to start. I think it's something that if you watched it at the time,

you'd have that nostalgia. But, like, when I watched it, I was like, it's just a bit, like, lame. Her character's cool though. Yeah. When we watch our movies and we do some old ones, if we haven't seen it, we're like, ooh. Well, just like we were talking about the Santa Claus this week. Like we watched that and we were like, as a kid it was amazing

and you still like it for the nostalgia, but you watch it and you go, fuck, it doesn't really look the same. Yeah. Yeah, so that's probably the reason I didn't like it, not that I didn't actually like the show. So I'm going to say nah. Have you even heard of this kind of rivalry? No, I didn't.

Yeah, okay. But I think it's the same with like Harry Potter and like, oh, I don't know. Something else is shit. Something else. Not something else is shit. Harry Potter's good. No, I meant like some other shit thing. Like fuck J.K. Rowling, but like Harry Potter's good.

Yeah, yeah. We can separate the two. Yeah, thank you. Sorry, I meant like some other shit thing. Like fuck JK Rowling, but like Harry Potter's good. Yeah, yeah. We can separate the two. Yeah, thank you. Sorry, I couldn't give a good answer either. I'm too young. Too young to give a good answer on that one, unfortunately. I've never seen a more obnoxious grin and she's poking her tongue out. I'm just so young.

My skin, full elasticity still. Do you know what I mean? Beautiful. No Band-Aids on the back of these hands, baby. I tried to flick you across the room because you look like an elastic band. That's how stretchy and beautiful your skin is. Plump. And your hair looks great.

A plump young girl. Every time we post a video, I'm like, oh, this is a funny joke. Everyone's like, great hair, Tony. Didn't notice any jokes. Yeah, people are loving the hair. Yeah, keep it going. Well, you want to be gassed up? Here you go. Kiana Ship. Hey, Kiana. Like a ship in the night. Yeah, keep it going. Oh, you want to be gassed up? Here you go.

Kiana ship. Hey, Kiana. Like a ship in the night. Oh, ship me, girlfriend. Oh, sorry. I don't know. Normal or nah, when talking about the podcast, referring to Tony Lodge and Rian John as your friends.

For example, something came up in conversation and I said, oh, my friends were talking about that the other day. Maybe it could just be me. Lol, says Kiana. Well, I don't think that I can say normal or nah to that, but it sounds lovely and I love that people think that. Well, it's normal for me because you are a friend and when someone says. Oh, yeah, but I mean as a listener. I got a friend said that the other day. Oh, where were you? I was in a someone says. Oh, yeah. But I mean as a listener.

I got a friend said that the other day. Oh, where were you? I was in a podcast studio. Yeah, yeah. Talking on my podcast to my friend from the, you just call me a friend. Well, I thought you'd make a bigger deal at the time. I'm glad you've come around 20 seconds later. That's your present, by the way.

Merry Christmas. Yeah, I noticed nothing under the tree. Mine is not. We'll get to it tomorrow. We'll get to it tomorrow. No, I love that people the tree. Mine is not. We'll get to it tomorrow. We'll get to it tomorrow. No, I love that people say that. I actually, oh, no, normal. Because the other day I was telling Tubbs about something that I saw.

Oh, my God, this is so cringe. That is something I saw on Instagram. And I was like, oh, my friend posted about, like, he mentioned something. And I was like, yeah, my friend posted that on Instagram the other day. He was like, oh, who? And I was like, oh, just this girl I follow. day he was like oh who and I was like oh just this girl I follow and he was like so not your friend and I was like oh well no no I guess

not I'm going to call Tony Lodge out you get a bit forward with the and we are friends so this isn't a fucking gag about that but you do get a little friend happy I do I say internet friend sometimes well no there has been some occasions where you go, oh, yeah,

we've been friends for a while. And I go, yeah? And you go, and it's like they've posted an Instagram story, you've replied with a DM, and they've just, like, replied back. And you're like, yeah, we've been friends for ages. That makes you friends. Doesn't it? Doesn't it?

I mean, you're not like. That's the first time we ever talked was our reply to your Instagram story about you doing kiss breakfast. And I said, looking forward to working with you. And you said, yeah, you too. How's the pod going? And I said, yeah, it's really good. It wasn't.

Well, I was asking how's your pod going, hoping it would be, the answer would be like, oh, not great. I wish I could like do a different kind of one with someone like you. With someone really handsome and with beautiful teeth and lovely hair. Yeah, and a small dick and stuff, yeah. Yeah, I'm talking about me. A lovely teeth. Oh, it is small.

You can't even find it. No, I think normal because I fall into that trap as well. Yeah, okay. Oh, fuck, that's so embarrassing because I fall into that trap as well. Okay. Oh, fuck, that's so embarrassing. I actually do that. Well, whilst that's embarrassing for you on the internet, I, coming up, have some internet news which I, be honest, am I like a, would you say like a humble person? Um, yeah.

Well, can you just give me maybe a two-minute window where I can just really get on my high horse and chub myself up? Oh, chub yourself up. Absolutely. That's coming up and I'd love to see it. And be excited. Okay. Because I've done something.

Well, I am. You've sold this well. You're not the only one chubbed up apparently. Woo! That's on the way. This is Tom from New Jersey, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tuppers over at our Patreon.

You can have a look at our Patreon at any time you wish. All the links are in our show notes and in our Instagram bios. A few people that have been around for a while that we'd love to give some love to. Jessica Meyer, thank you so much. Jordan Stewart, Kimberly Majors. Kimberly Miners. Peter Rodriguez, Kayla Cornell, and Heather Shelley.

Thank you so much for being part of our Patreon. You fucking love to see it. Also, sorry to cut you off there. I saw you were taking a big breath of air. Okay. All of the normal Nas you just heard all come from our Facebook group, Tony and Ryan Podcast on Facebook. They come from all of our tapas, which are Tony and Ryan Podcast listeners,

and we would absolutely love for you to join us at our Facebook group because we are, as we recently discovered, boomers that have a Facebook group. Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Well, how do you feel like my relationship is with people in the Facebook group and Patreon? Because sometimes- Tumultuous. Like highs and lows? Yeah.

Like always changing and violent. Well, yeah, a bit violent. Yeah, because sometimes like you love them and then you hate them and then you call them out and then. I've been bullied. Have you? I'm actually not going to name names because I don't want to give air to bullies because that's what they want.

Wow. Okay. What's the problem? However. What happened? For the last 45 days. 45 days? I've got DMs and there's been constant messages,

even on the episode threads, out of context, just saying, just here to let you know that I want Tony's fucked fact to come back. If you're just joining the show, Tony had a chance to prove herself as a fat queen. It was a bit shit and it got culled. Okay. I would just like to rebut that and say Ryan decided he didn't want

to like the fact. Nope. Yes, and torpedoed the entire segment because every single person that listens to this podcast, all of our tapas, agreed that the facts were good but you were a spoil sport. Can we agree, if we can agree on one thing, is that you weren't as offended by like maybe it not being a regular segment but you just wanted to know that you were in fact a fact queen. Yes.

Okay. I just want you to admit that the facts are good. I like facts. Just the ones you would dish out as shit. Anyway, here's my offer. Here's my peace offering that I've been bullied into. And I've succumbed to the bullying. Tomorrow is our final

video show of the year. Video show. You can watch it as well as regularly listen to it, but you can watch it on the Spotify app and on your smart TV and click all the buttons and stuff. A final opportunity for you to deliver a fact, and if it's great, I will give you the kudos you deserve, and you can sail off into the sunset of 2022 knowing in your heart that you are a fact queen.

I would just like the freedom to be able to go, oh, fun fact, and say it without judgment. Well, if you nail tomorrow, I will, I was about to say I'll never judge you again, I will never judge your wanting to put facts into a story ever again. I was going to say we won't have a podcast anymore. What else would I do? I judge you for a living. So tomorrow on the show.

I've got one more chance. One more chance. Now, are you going to come at me with a here's four you might like or is there the one? I've got three. Yeah. You're going to have to choose which one is the one. I think I know.

Okay. I'll let you know my process tomorrow. All right. Tomorrow on the show, as well as the Secret Santa, redemption round of Tony's fucked facts. Yep. Thank you very much. I'm very excited about the opportunity.

It is a big opportunity. All right. You just have to promise me that you're not going to be an asshole just for the sake of being an asshole because I feel like and please is that something I would do please oh look at you getting so defensive already I feel like you know that there was a little bit of you last time that decided don't just shake your head I think don't tell me what I think I think you know don't invalidate my feelings I'm not but what I'm saying is I think you know that there was a bit of you that went, I just hate this and I don't want to say it's good.

The fact you gave me wasn't that good. Everybody agreed they were good. Then you said another random fact later. I was like, oh, you should have used that one. That was fantastic. Yeah. It's about the selection. See, I've taken my learnings from that.

What were your learnings? No, tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. See, I've taken my learnings from that. What were your learnings? No, tomorrow. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow. Before all of that. Please. I, every Monday, rap about the film that we watch. So our tapas decide on what movie we watch. We give them a theme and multiple choices and then they offer some more suggestions.

But we talk about the movie and then I rap about it. I thought it was only fitting that for the end of the year, I do like an end of year rap rap. Rap the year with a rap? Yeah. Feels right. Feels right. Because I mean, I've watched the year.

Yeah, you were part of the year. What can I expect? What's on the hit list? Well, I'll be honest. I kind of sat down and I was like, fuck, what am I going to say? Yeah. Like, you know, like, fuck, is there enough in there? Is it the year in news or the year of the podcast or the year of Lodge?

It's definitely not a year in news. We don't talk about the news. So, you know, no, I really get it. It has. But, like, listen to the fucking, you know. BBC. Yeah. CNN.

ABC. Yeah. There's other places for that. There's so many podcasts on your Spotify app that you can listen to about the news. What's your favourite news podcast? The Daily Oz one. Yeah. Yep.

Thank you. It is. Very much. I also listen to Daily Drive, which has got like SBS news and stuff in it. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I like that. Thank you. What?

Because you were trying to put me on the spot because you know that I don't listen to that many podcasts. I do listen to Daily Drive, though. Okay. No, you don't. You don't listen to any podcasts. Tony's allergic to other people's shows. That's not true.

You just don't commute. There's no need for it. I don't go anywhere. I can't listen to things on my scooter. Maybe I could get a UE boom and strap that to my scooter and then I could listen to things on my way to work. Can you imagine someone with a boom on a scooter listening to, like, True Crime? Yeah.

You pull up at the lights like, then he pulled the knife out. And I'm like, oh. And the people next to me are like, oh, who did that laugh at? He did it. Yeah, he did it. He just got convicted. I was like, oh. Oh, fucking spoilers, bitch. Thanks. And then the light's green and we're having this before. He did it. He did it. He just got convicted last night. I'm like, oh. Oh, fucking spoilers, bitch.

Thanks, and then the light's green and we're having this before. What the fucking. Anyway, if you want news, you have come to the wrong place. Okay. But I was like, have we really done enough to go into a 30-second rant? How can I fill out an entire 30 seconds? There's been so much stuff. Like of all the things that actually went in there,

I didn't even mention about pooing in my car. That's a shame. Yeah. I just like to say that the poo towel story happened in 2021. So I hope that's not in there. Yeah, it did. It isn't in there, but that's interesting. Good.

Yeah. I feel like it's hard to put lots of highlights into such a short rap. Yeah. I did consider making the music longer so I could fit a few more things in, but then I thought, no, the challenge is that I fit it into our little bit of music. Just drop it, babe. Do you reckon?

What's up? Did you include the time I called you babe as one of the grossest things that ever fucking happened? I'm thrown now. What's happening? That's probably the third time you've called me babe today. Not on the pod, but like earlier. No, I'm not a babe guy.

Or am I? Well, I'm saying. What did you like call me? A fucking liar. What did you hear me say? I cannot wait until the holidays. I will not talk to you for literally the whole time. Are you not coming around for New Year's?

No, I don't think so. I think it was a pity invite. I don't do New Year's. I think it's the worst night of the year. Okay. It is the worst night of the year. Don't come to my house. I hear what you're saying.

Well, there's going to be people coming around. You're welcome. Thank you. Well, we'll come. What time does it start? Everyone's welcome. Everyone's welcome. Is this dips and dips?

What would you do? No, this is not dips and dips. We have to wait for all the Is this dips and dips? What would you do? No, this is not dips and dips. We have to wait for all the furniture for dips and dips. Oh, of course. What time would, do you do like the five o'clock and you have like an afternoon swim and a barbecue kind of vibe because we're old now? But then do you still have to wait up till 12? Yeah. But like some of our friends have got kids and stuff and Bridget's pregnant. It could be the lamest New Year's of all time, which is fine. I don't care about that. But I just hate the New Year thing.

I feel like you always are like, it's going to be the best night of our lives. I'm going to meet someone at midnight and fall in love and we're going to kiss and then we're going to get married. That never happens. It's always shit. You can't get a taxi and everything's expensive and like it's just a mess. Anyway, okay. New Year, new me. Play the okay. Oh, you knew me.

Play the song. Yo, here we go. Do, do, do, do. All right, here we go. Let's do it. 2022, wrapped up. T-Lodge. Here we go.

22. End of the year 2022. Never thought that I'd be here with you. Let's take a look back at some fun. Your baby in Bridget's tum and I became a mum. Ryan told us he doesn't have a car. We had to keep explaining normal or nah. We laughed so hard we couldn't cope

and I finally learnt how to use so. That's good. That was awesome. You like that? Yeah. But can you see like there's really not that much room for lots of stuff? No, especially when you used the first half of it explaining what the rap is. No, I said... What?

Two lines. Yeah, we only got six. Actually, no. I take it back. It was a great rap. I don't want any negativity around the rap. It was a good rap. This is the second time.

I know. I know. I feel like an asshole. That was actually sick. But I didn't explain what it was. I said end of the year. Yep. 2022.

Yep. Which like would be stupid if that wasn't in there because of the rap. Yeah. Like the rap is a self-contained thing. Okay, right. The rap isn't part of the – the rap exists somewhere. It's its own entity. Exactly.

Is that part of our business? And then – It's got its own ABN. That's its trust. Its own trust. Rap trust. And then I said, so I never thought I'd be here with you, which is actually –

It's really fucking beautiful. Thank you. It's fucking beautiful. So that is the part you're being an asshole about. So I was nervous when you said that. I was like, are you going to fucking get emotional and make me cry over a rap? No, and then I said, let's take a look back at some fun so that I could rhyme your baby in Bridget's tum and I became a mum.

All good lines. Because I was going to rhyme it with cum. I was going to put like. As soon as I heard tum, I was like, uh-oh. Yeah. Because I know how it got there. Yeah. Yeah.

The Uber and the cum was one line. But then I changed it. And then Ryan told us he doesn't have a car. We had to keep explaining normal or nah. That was good gear. Thank you. And then we laughed so hard we couldn't cope and I learned how to use soap. Because I did.

That was this year. Can I say? Yeah. The soap video has just found its way onto YouTube? It has. And a whole new bunch of people have discovered. That I'm an idiot. What Tony has not discovered.

Yeah. But, I mean, I think that rap was good. That was good. I can't believe that you came at me at the end saying that I wasted half of it explaining what it was. I regret my words. It was a great rap. The thing with a rap is that you have to make it all rhyme.

And would you rather a random line that didn't actually make sense or, you know, for the sake of a rhyme? I don't know if, like, when I hear poetry that doesn't rhyme, I'm like, that's just words, mate. Yeah. And this rhymes. It's fucking art. I make this rhyme for you every week, twice this week.

Twice this week. Because there was a Santa Claus rap about the shit CGI and then there was this one. Yeah. It was a good rap. I want you to take that back because I worked really hard on this. I had to cull a whole year into one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight lines.

Check the fucking tread on my tyres because I'm trying to U-turn real hard right now. I work really hard for this podcast. And I just don't want you to think that I don't. It was the wrap of the year. It was the wrap of the year. I'm changing it. I'll do another one tomorrow.

No, it was good. It was good. It was good. Thank you. It was really good. I can't express that enough. Yeah. Oh, I wish I hadn't wasted half of it fucking explaining what it was.

I didn't even do that. Oh, you fucked me up. Tell me something that you'd love to see. Oh, you're going to gas yourself up for your love to see it. Yeah, it doesn't feel right now. Great. It doesn't feel right to gas myself up now. All right, well, I'll go first.

You please. We'll save yours for last. Please. My love to see it today. Yeah. We'll save yours for last. My, you'll have to see it today. Here's a post that I saw that went a bit viral.

Yep. The photo that accompanies the text is a pilot feeding a baby on a plane. Oh. Today on Finnair, we had a mother on board travelling with four little boys. Oh, my God. Two of the boys were only babies. Naturally, one cannot travel with two babies on a lap, so we had to solve the dilemma of a missing lap.

Otherwise, it would have been a no-go for the mum and the kids. Like, they wouldn't have been able to travel. Geez, just expecting travelling with four kids. Oh, solo. One parent is brutal. Jeez. Luckily, we had our positioning crew on board and the wonderful pilot, Tom, took the task of being the extra lap. That's incredible.

Would you be a spare lap? Oh, absolutely. I could snuggle a baby on a plane. Fucking no problem. When we came back from Jakarta, do you remember me saying how much? Oh, my God. So it's a pilot. He's got the baby and the baby's bottle.

He's having a great time. Who's flying the plane, though? Yeah, exactly. So I think that there was extra people on board to take care. Yeah, I think maybe it was like a training day and they had some spare people. I get it. But a photo op versus, you know, the 400 other people whose lives are in the air. So do you remember me telling you that when we came back from Jakarta,

I was sitting next to that couple? Next to that couple, yeah. They had a very young baby. Very young baby. And the whole time I was kind of like, here if you need. Can I have a go? Yeah, can I have a go? Do you need a hand with that?

No, we've got this couple. They're like, can you fuck off? Because I'm actually expecting, so I'm obviously qualified to help. I could obviously help you out. So did you need me to? And they're like, not really, no. Yeah, they're like, I don't really want you to look at us or talk to us again. Even though I obviously didn't say these things out loud,

they knew I was thinking it. Oh, and because you're like peeping over like this, like looking at their. Can you stop looking at my wife? I'm not looking at your baby, mate. Yeah. Does that make it better or worse? Don't know. Don't know, but because I love them, I'm waiting on a baby.

I'd love some practice. Do you need me to hold that while you're eating your food? Yeah, I'm over here. Here if you need. Here if you need. Yeah. No, I think that's really nice. That is actually cute.

I feel like travelling with kids, whether a solo parent, whether there's 12 adults to one child, I think it's still like I cannot even understand how people do that. But I thought you loved to see that people were just like all chipping in and helping out. I do love that. I've got some good news. You want to know what I'll see?

Uh-huh. I'm a matfluencer. That've got some good news. You want to know what I'll say? Uh-huh. I'm a mapfluencer. That's who I am now. An influencer in the map community. Do you remember? Sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry, sorry. What? Didn't you not like 15 minutes ago in this podcast say,

I'm going to gas myself up. I've got like a great, you love to see it. I'm a mapfluencer. Have you got two? Is, you love to see it. I'm a map fan. Have you got two? Is there another one coming? No, this is it. This is it. I've hit a new fucking weird part of the internet and I'm bombing out.

Is this that shit maps thing on Twitter? Yeah, it fucking is. Have a listen to this. Here's a tweet. Oh, so a few weeks ago, Terrible Maps, which is the Twitter account, which I was talking about a few weeks ago, they said at the end of November, we've just hit a million followers. We've been working on this account for a few years

and we've finally hit a million. Do you remember how many they had when you first looked at their? Sorry, sorry. When it hit a million, that's when I came across it. Oh, sorry. Right, right, right. So that was about four weeks. It was like late November.

Then they sent another tweet yesterday saying, it took us years and years and years to get to one million. Something's happened in the last few weeks and we're now at 1.5 million just a few weeks later after we hit the mill. We don't know what happened, but thank you for loving our terrible maps. That is sick. That is sick. Correlation causation.

Has to be. Has to be. So this person, like they sent that tweet out and someone tagged me and goes, it's probably because at Ryan John, the map fluencer gave you guys a huge shout out. On our pod. And that's how I became aware. So I was like, what's he talking about? Then I scroll up and I went, that's some crazy numbers.

You don't get to a million over years and then get to 1.5 two weeks later. Causation, correlation whatever tony said yeah it has to be i'm a math fluencer that's amazing that is incredible thank you that is very very cool you do love to say that you do love to say and thank you for being so supportive of me it makes it even worse about how unsupportive i was of you earlier. No, I actually think that that is fucking sick. I'm really proud of you. Well. Yeah. I never, ever criticised something that you did, so I'm really happy for you.

Proud to be a part of the journey. On the map. That was actually very funny. Thank you. Really proud of you. You're such a good man. Did you want me to have another one or was that a good one? No, no, no.

Oh, you managed to squeeze two. You love to see it. It's out of the one thing, but that's good. What was the other one? No, you squeezed two. You love to see it. It's out of the map chat. Oh, yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, we've got to do one every day. I was fucking roasted for talking about the bloody radar the other day. Your map chat, I'm glad that you got two stories out of that. That's awesome. Fuck, should have put that in the rap. This is a little end of year rap.

Ryan wants to talk about his map. You're so good at that. Yeah, I know. Okay, can I? Nah. Because it's our final video show tomorrow and we're exchanging gifts. We are. Can you accept my judgy map behaviour and apology?

Because I feel like I want to go into tomorrow in a very friendly, festive feeling. Oh, I'm feeling festive. And I don't want any of that either. Whatever this is. Face your fault. You're worse than me. How? Matt, either. Whatever this is, the face you're putting, you're so, you're worse than me. How?

I was so supportive about your Matt thing. I think that's sick. Stop, stop winking. But you were just an asshole about my rap. Tony's rap versus Ryan's rap.

Ryan's Matt. She can't stop. She's a poet. She didn't even know it. I'm fucking Eminem. Yeah? Does his wife know about that? All right.

Tomorrow. Chat to you tomorrow for the final video show of the year. Meow. M, meow, nem. Shit, meow. Meow. Shit meows. Shit meows. I'll give you a map and show you where to fuck off to.

Sorry. Meow. Did you say ate meow before? Ate meow? Pretty meowfy. R.I.P. Yeah. Oh, God.

Love you. Bye.