Toni and Ryan - Episode #1000

Episode Date: December 10, 2025

[VIDEO FOR THIS EP AVAILABLE ON YOUTUBE] https://tarpsaidwhat.com/ Normal or Nah - 1000 EPISODE SPEECHES - TARP quiz- love ya!!!!!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What's crazier, looking back on a thousand episodes. You have a dog? I have a child. Wild. You have a new best friend. I think you. Like, you're really important to me. Thank you.

You're really special to me and I'm really like, this is really crazy. Have we got another thousand in us? Not today. Hi, I'm Jules from Adelaide, South Australia. Hi, I'm Catherine from quite a quick Canada. Hi, I'm Roshin from Ireland and I approve this podcast. Charles, you got on the right way for a smack bottom. Is that staying in?

One-th-oh, I thought you were going to join in. One-thouser! I thought you were going to join in. Join in the... Like, say, one thousand. Count me in What are you doing? Okay ready

Three, two, one One thousand Welcome to the one thousandth episode Of Tony and Ryan What an honour it is to have you here For the one thousandth time That's not going to be any better By the end of the episode

Have you? I've prepared A speech, have you? Have you? You go first off follow you. Well, like, for later, but I've got, have you, what have you got? Oh, yeah.

Got it's some stuff here. No, I haven't written the speech. I just, I just, um, follow my heart. Mm, a thousand times over. Print it off and give it to strangers. Freight train of facts. Yeah. Let's do normal or now, though. First, let's do normal honor.

Um, thanks for submitting these through, by the way, Tony and Ryan Facebook group or Tony and Ryan.com.com. And this, you know how I said here. Hearing Haley Williams, what's the band called that just finished up 20s? Hearing paramour and the wild is just gets you going. It does, yeah, I absolutely agree. This is from Tarp at Chelsea M. Hi, Chelsea.

Feeling healed when you hear unwritten playing. Oh, Natasha Beddingfield, yeah. Feel the rain on your skin. No one else can feel it for you. Only you can let it in. Sorry, Bab. No one else is big the words. Oh, I thought the chorus is a bit shorter than this.

Unwritten. Yeah. But I think that there are a few different reasons people like it because one of the reasons I liked it back in the day was just because it was a fucking banger. But now that I've watched the hills about five times, now I'm like, oh my God, oh my God, I can hear, is someone watching the hills or is the song just playing?

Because it's the theme. Yeah. It's the theme song of the hills. So you're like, yeah. I'm like, what's going on? Are people talking about the hills? somewhere are my ears ringing because they want to talk to me about Lauren Conrad and the blue Chanel bag.

Not the blue Chanel bag. Exactly. Chelsea said if the sun's out and Natasha Beddingfield comes on, I instantly believe my life is a montage. Oh, I couldn't agree more. Full main character energy. Is this normal or nah? It is sunshine in a tune.

That sentence is sunshine in a tune. Thank you so much. But don't you know, that's not like, there's just nothing at that song. you hear the boop bo doop uh yeah

they just gets you going it's very good I can tell that Charles was another song yeah it's uh it was after you your parents

might like it Charles's mom many times uh uh Suzanne Katie why was I so confident

in a name that had not even a scary yeah um you'd remember a Z name leave it with Suzanne you would be like well that's good a zanette Suzanne uh is Kate's mom

Kate Valentine So also simple kind of not really This goes with that uh Suzanne unless it's Kate Yeah um normal enough from Tapa Emily Hi Emily is it Emily spelled the slutway Uh no with a why Nice I love Emily spelled the slut way

With an IE Yeah I'll introduce you to my friend Emily with a dot IA and that could be the end of your engagement. Who's your friend Emily? When you meet, well, she's lived in Paris for 10 years,

so I haven't seen her in a long time. Zootalo. And you'd meet her and go, Tulbs, don't worry about it. Do I still get to keep the diamond though? Because I'm pretty fond of it. Yeah, exactly.

Like, just the greatest person you'll ever meet. Because my eyebrow girl, Emily, she's spelled the slut way as well and I love it. She's the funnest bitch Can I get my eyebrows done by her? You should actually come She would love that Okay

Because I just need the little A couple little greys plush Do you want to come in? Because I've got to get the greys out She could do yours while she does my lashes This weekend Zool de la Tapa Emily

Spelled the boring way My mum still chats with my ex Same do the maths on that does she know it's been two years since I broke up with this guy but mum like keeps in touch

with regular messages they're basically pen pals says Emily I'm trying to move on from him but my mum seems like she's the one having issues letting go she's dragging him back in

is this normal behaviour or nah it's definitely not normal behaviour right And is your mom giving you, like, oh, spoken to Jeremy lately? Because I was just texting him. He said he's doing really well. Like, is she, is the mum? Because I think that that's all so weird, isn't it?

When the mom is like, oh, no. Trying to play a bit of one-ups and shit. Yeah. I reckon the mum is on the exorcide. So he's like, oh, the new guy was taking her out to that place. Fucking, you know, you wouldn't have never have done that. What do you reckon? Has, was your mom ever, like, close, like, with Kears, like,

you're... She was friendly with everyone. But, like, post break up or anything. Yeah. Don't think they're texting. Yeah. We'd be surprised to start texting. I think that Torbs' mom is Facebook friends with Torbs's ex still.

I feel like that's okay. Are they, is she liking a random post? Well, I don't know. Setting a happy birthday on the wall. Oh, do know. But I'm not, well, I'm not friends with her, so I wouldn't say it anyway. Like, I'm not friends with his ex. I've never met her.

I met her once, actually. Well, she's like. Um, she, like, walked in and walked out when she saw me. I bet she did. She walked in and go, I can't compete with that. Aw. No, we were just like at a birthday thing and she kind of walked in and then walked back out with someone else. Was she hot?

Yeah, she's beautiful. Yeah. I mean, he's got good taste. Um, that's a gna from above. Wherever. Um, now this is Tapa, Emma. She has a normal or nah. Butter and chili oil on toast.

Sometimes I can't face veggie mite or fancy avo toast, so I just slather butter and some Lee Kumki chili oil on bread. Lee Kumki is the best chili oil. It's my favourite one. Please bring it in. And did we have that one available? Oh, no, I don't like that chili oil. It's okay.

I'll eat it, but it's not my favorite. Lee Kumki is the best one. The second best one is the chotto motto. like Italian one. Yeah, that one's really good. I don't know why I feel strange about Italians having any business with chili oil. Well, like, because on brachetta or whatever,

you do a bit of a chili oil. Maybe I think because Miss C's. You ever had a Miss C? Nah, who's that? Missy Elliott. Missy Higgins. Not Miss C. Miss C.

Miss C. Preregrin, the chicken from Stickett. Sorry, they've said on toast. And you've handed us bread. Oh, I actually am Team Tony on this. Read it out again. She said, on bread. No one can hear you.

No one can hear you. You need to talk into a microphone. I was like, we'll probably do toast. And look, they just say bread. It says toast, doesn't it? She says butter and, uh, chili oil on bread. Yeah, but do you know what toast is made from? You know?

Would you like it toasted? Well, no, now the butter's on it. And we don't have. the right chili oil. No, she didn't say Kim Kumlee. She said, I love the, um, the, um, that's good stuff.

I love the Naogamma. Naugamma. I'm about, I don't know if I need a massage or I'm about to have a stroke, but my neck is about to snap off and I think it's chili oil related. Because you need some. I just don't know what's happening to the right side of my body. Are you having a stroke?

That's what I just said. Oh, sorry you did. Am I? Oh, likely we didn't cook the toast because then I could have got confused. Go, fuck, I am having a stroke. Yeah, I can smell the toast. No, that's, yeah. That's.

Are you not? He's not. You know I get them confused. Yeah, I do. That's actually, if we were, if I was smelling toast, it's good that we're not. Okay. Yeah, you are cats. Do you want to lay down on the floor?

What is happening to my person? Do you want to... Will chili oil help this? Sure. Oh, not on bread. It did help but it was on toast. So are we eating that? Well, I feel like we can't...

Just on raw bread? Well, it's not raw. The bread is made. Was raw toast? Yeah. It's only been cooked once. Yeah. Are you okay?

Do we eat some water? Bread is cooked once. Yeah. And then you cook it again to make toast. So raw toast. is just bread, but raw bread's just dough. Yeah, so when you say that's uncooked, it isn't. It is cooked.

But it's raw toast. It's cooked dough. But it's raw toast. So true. If I was having it, like, how would I know if my whole body was about to... I think there's actually an acronym, Charles Google, the acronym for strokes. Is it stroke? Does that stand for the thing?

I don't think so. Shoulder. No. Tension. Fast. Face, arm, speech time. That's the way we liked for. Sorry.

Face. Face. Has their face or mouth dropped? No. You look normal. Can you lift both arms? Put your iPad down and put your arms in the air? Like you just don't care?

That's good. Is your speech slurred? Do they understand you? Not emotionally. I've had a, this is my 1,000th stroke. Okay. If you see any of these signs, call immediately. But no, I don't think.

need that. Do you want some water though, a little breath of air? Is water like KFC? Is water like toast for us to put chili oil on? Sorry.

I just don't think well, hang on, here's my question. Okay. Question. You get that raw toe off that iPad, young man. That is so gross. That is the most upsetting thing I've ever seen.

I didn't do it deliberately. I know you didn't, but that raw toe was still fucking dogging on that iPad. Are we? Young man. Which I'm going to drop a young man into the 2000s episode. Oh, thank you. Some water.

Is that to drink or to like cool me down? You get to pick. Do I? Went for life. I'll move the iPad before I decide. Spoiler. Not going to drink it. Please don't dip it on yourself.

That's what I was going to. That's what I. Am I not allowed to do that? I wouldn't. Okay. Are we in a position to judge Emily's choice as normal or now without having tasted it? I don't think it's Emily. I think it's Emma.

It is Emma. That's annoying. That's absolutely. Nah, that's all right. I would have loved if it was Emily. Let's try the chili oil thing. She says it's lazy, but it's spicy and it's weirdly elite. Yeah, no.

So Tops and I, one of our dinners, especially during summer like we'll do brachetta as a meal so we'll do like the bread right and then we've got all of the stuff but we put chili oil on it as well yeah like as you would eat like a garlic bread

totally like as a side yeah but we have it like as our dinner because we'll do like it like do it like poach some chicken breast or fucking you know what I mean get a barada some chili oil you have lifted your kitchen gang thank you so much you go oh I'm just no

year of 2026 respecting Tony in the kitchen thank you's what about 2020 tricks in the kitchen pass me that chili oil let's try it on the bread the cooked dough

yes all right Ryan has removed the lid of the non-leukum kea chili oil it's the neo laganda the neoliganda hardly no wow how much oil do we want

um a bit more than that i reckon um yeah that's probably all right and then do you want to just cut that one enough oh okay yeah i'm not gonna eat a whole bit fully fully um that had cut a bit easier if it was toasted it looks like good sour day though i went specially and bought fresh bread and tried to hunt down the specific chill oil and then they were still out of stock so do they not have toasters at the Blame Big Woolworths. Thank you, sir.

This is going to be delicious. Yeah, like obviously approved butter, fucks. Chili oil, fucks, bread, fucks. Was it Emma or Emily? Emma. Emma, normal. I panic. Tony just put all of it in her mouth at once.

I panic. And she looked at me in the eye as she was stuffing it into her mouth. Like I haven't seen that 81,000 times before. I'm bitten it lower down normally. You've heard that before. Hit the back of me through it. Would you like from where? Oh, you know what?

Can you all get me dark? Um, I'll do, Blay. two up just a skinty one I'm driving home there's only one can't wait for Ryan to take one sip out of that and then we find it in two weeks

nah oh you didn't deserve that we'll find it after the 2000th episode Cheers Hey just a little DC for our thousandth episode It's our thousands episode Those dogs made

are roaring on that iPad I've got to stop you right there Just two best friends Having a diet Coke Sitting on some glorious armchairs Celebrating the 1,000th episode of this podcast Look at your nail on that Fuck, that is fucking cold

It's real cold I think that hurts going down And that's what you want Yeah You wanted to burn your esophagus Well I think the little bit of heat in the chili oil now the contrast of the cold DC and that's I knew that water wouldn't help us

and you know what I knew that DC would bring you back if you're worried your heart you know what they should add to that stroke um acronym DC DC DC Crack a Diet Coke see if that helps have a fridge cigarette and fucking call the doctor

in a minute it can wait you know what I've learned over a thousand episodes of this podcast and I've got a speech prepared for after but I just lose a little preamble some people are trying too hard us no like sometimes a cold diet coke

and butter on bread is all you fucking really need and good friends good friends great butter butter bread us and you me and us well sometimes a while yeah I'm just

I can't believe you're doubling up on the bread that's crazy well I'm trying to ratio down the chili oil. Oh, was it a bit spicy? Yeah, it got me a bit. Okay. I didn't realize you're a pussy. You knew I was a pussy. I did, yeah. I knew what would happen.

Now, the butter to the bread, do that start as an insult? And we go down memory lane? I can't even remember whether I was the butter or you with bread. Were you the butter to my bread or... I think so. Like, you're the main cause. I'm just like... I'm so sorry. I've just had a sip of Diet Coke and I'm thurped. How does bread and butter?

The OGs. People have got that tattooed on them. Yeah. We could. We should have organised that for this episode. Let's do it next year and let's not tell my wife. No, I think she's fine with the tattoo. She just wanted you to have something that you'd thought about.

Not to get something at the last minute. For example, bread and butter. Yeah. But if you've thought about it. I'm comfortable with that. Where would I get it? At a tattoo studio? Like on my body.

you? Oh, I don't know. What would you do? Would you just contribute to your sleep? Has your leg got more stuff since I've seen your pins last? The whole front. Yeah. Where would you put your brain? That wasn't there. Well, if Courtney was doing it, I would put it on here.

But if someone else did it, which I probably wouldn't want anyway. But if someone else did it, I'd have to put it somewhere else because... That leg's got work to do. Well, just because this is hers. Aren't we getting a tattoo with the golden ticket tapper? Well, that was up to who wanted it. And I don't know if Jesse wants it. I reckon he's down.

If he's down, I'll do it. Courtney would be absolutely keen. All right. Are we still podcasting? Yeah, I think we are. All right. See in a minute. Hey, I'm Jules from Adelaide, South Australia.

I'm Catherine from quite a good Canada. I'm Rohing from Ireland. You're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out. to a few of our champion tapers over at our patron. We've had just a little, um, diet clock break. I still think I've got a burp or two left and I'm going to be, oh, me too.

Like, try and be polite about it. Safe space. But like, I tell you one story I just always think about from the last thousandth episode of our podcast. Yeah. Is the girl who instead of saying twist my arm to the waiter said, pull my finger. I just think about that all the time. Pull my finger.

Do you guys want some desserts? Pull my finger. Whoever shared that, that's probably why. I don't want to say, like, my favorite because, geez, there's been some crap. But that just comes back into my mind all the time. Yeah, it is good. And it's like, I want to die a Coke. Oh, twist my arm.

Oh, there's one. Sorry. Oh, I'm as a shout out to a few of our champion tubbers. On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me. Ethan, Russell, Amanda Olson, Emily, Bryant, Crystal, Adriana, Louise, Jane, Such a living, Girl, wow, NGK, Caitlin Lewis, Chloe LaGrand, Cat, like meow, meow, meow, meow, and a meow, meow, meow in a meow, meow, meow. A bit short on names, bud.

Cat like meow is a real one, and then I just added the meows because I thought, in honor of it of the being the 1,000 episode, people miss the meows. We haven't meowed in a while. Should we bring a meow back to the next thousand? Well, when we used to meow, it was because we had. the audio in our ears, yeah. Meow, me, meow, me, meow, meow, meow, me, meow, me, meow. You know what I'd like to get done by Christmas?

This side of Christmas. This side of Christmas. Yeah. People don't know this exists. Should I just mouth it to you? Or should I say it out loud? You can say it and we can beep it. I'd love to see the meows version of I still call Australia Home Online.

Oh, you can actually leave that in because we did actually make this. So when we went around and. Tony sung the song. Yeah, for Qantas, I also did a Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. But it doesn't exist anywhere, but Franco did just have a baby. That's fine. That's fine.

What, they're going to put it back in? No, I didn't know. I was like, fuck, if they announced that, but it was like a couple of, it was like a month ago. They post on Instagram, it's fine. I was like, fuck, have I just said something I shouldn't have, but no, they had a baby. Good on him. Congratulations. congratulations, but like, you know, back to work.

Back to, yeah, come on. We did a meow, meow videos. Three years. Yeah. We have something very cool, though, for our thousandth episode. Are we going into technological advancements first? Or are we doing speeches first? Should we, oh, do you want to do speeches?

So then we've got something funny to... Yeah, I think so. Okay. Tony's prepared a speech. Oh, I said you could go first, I believe. Well, this is just, if. you knew like let me just the fact that we've done a thousand episodes is kind of crazy when you think about the point of us starting the show so if you will tony and i used to sneak into

the kiss fm radio studios on the weekend uh supposedly mocking up an audio demo for tony to get an on-air radio job tony was an audio producer doing occasional bits and pieces on the jason pj show shout out but one thing we've learned about Tony she isn't an occasional

bits and pieces girl she's the main character Tony is the moment I don't do bits and pieces on your show I do this show

we've all learned that over the years that's sweet so we started putting those demos on the internet and that is what

they were at the time and a thousand demos later I think I speak on behalf Half of all of us when I say, thank fucking Christ, she hasn't got a radio job yet. Still open, if anyone's interested.

If you're gone. Love, I don't think there are. Not if you've got a vagina. Edgey. Edgy comedy. Thinking about the amount of stories and ideas and time and energy that goes into 1,000 episodes is pretty huge. But to be honest, the amount of episodes,

the amount of downloads, who actually fucking cares. What I do care about is the fact that so many tarpers around the world are choosing to hang out with us every single day and how good and how safe and how comforting it feels to be a part of this community. That's beautiful.

Sorry, man speaking. What do you think this is? I forgot it was the radio. Is a thousand episodes worth celebrating? Fuck yeah. Hell yeah. Are we going to do another thousand? Fuck yeah.

But most importantly, I love being a tarpa. Thank you for listening and supporting and contributing to our show. Thank you for being tarpa as well. I think when we're on our deathbeds, we will all look back and go, oh my God, remember when being a tarpa wasn't a thing. And because of Tony's audio demo and her inability to get a job. And also inability to shut up. And inability to shut the fuck up that we all got to be a part of this together.

So thank you very much for being a part of it. That's beautiful. Thank you. Tony has also prepared something. Yep. I am also very, very proud to be a Tapa. Yep. This whole thing, and please indulge me just for a moment,

but this whole thing is such a dream come true for me. I wanted to be on the air. All I wanted was to have a shot and be able to talk and laugh and enjoy and entertain people the way that I'd been entertained by radio and TV. my whole life like I've always turned to that in times of strife like when my mum was sick I didn't have a lot of close friends

and I was caring for her a lot so you know I was watching TV and listening to the radio on the way to and from the hospital so all of those things I was like to know now that people share that time with us and allow us into their lives

is really beautiful but I also did not realize that with that would also mean that I had a new best friend since April 23 last year um but you know I just I never thought that that would be part of it you know I was like oh yeah we might work together and whatever but I just love also the way that we've changed and grown together and um I've learned from you and hopefully there's been times where you've learned from me or that I've helped you through things and um there's been some really hard times over the last

four years, um, like both worldly and personally. And I just, I love that the constant in my life through that whole time has been you and all the tarpas. So, yeah. Um, I also should have included Tony in my speech. No, no, no, no, this is not like that. It's not the TikTok awards. Are you talking about that? Okay. Very quick recap. We did not win, but we thought that we might for one second. We were nominated for a TikTok award. Tony went on behalf of us. Yeah. We did not win. We did not win, and that's fine. But they said, prepare a speech just in case you do win. And I was like, well, I don't think we're going to win.

Probably don't need to worry about a speech. Then right before Charles went, I think that we might have won this because they played a video of ours and we were like, fuck, are they like. Anyway, and then in my head very quickly, I was like, fuck, who do I need to thank? And I was like, well, I've obviously thanked all the tarpers and thank ACAST. Ryan was not one of the people that I thought to thank while I did my quick search in my head. that work here?

Any of these guys. People have worked for this in the past. Yeah. Torbs. Like, nothing. Yeah. So.

What's crazier looking back on a thousand episodes is like in terms of, let's think of our lives a thousand episodes ago. What's crazier? You have a dog. I have a child. Wild. You have a new best friend. you have Charles

you also have a new best friend yeah I said a best friend oh I thought like you mean we both do yeah I mean I think you yeah yeah I mean I love Pippa I love Mabel but yeah like you're really important to me thank you you're really special to me

and I'm really like this is really crazy because there's also not a lot of people that get to work with people they actually like. And Charles. And I actually thought you were going to say, Charles. That's throwing me a little bit. You love Charles. Yeah, but I've known Charles for fucking six seconds.

Yeah, which is the majority of his life. Yeah. But no, very proud to be Tapa. Really proud to make this every day. And can't believe that people are hang around and been with us all this time. shed tears and laughs with us it's really fucking cool have we got another thousand in us

not today yeah today I've actually just had chili oil and a bunch of gluten so yeah I've probably got 10 minutes I've got reflux would you like

some nexium no because all of those things are pepperminty and so I can't do it I don't think nexium is what's the one you're thinking of Gavis gone

Or like quickies, they're like pepperminty. Yeah, you know, Nexium might be your new mate. Oh, maybe I'll have to have a look. Yeah. I'll Google up. And I found out information about nexium from Jarch, from We Meanwell. Sure. He'll double drop a nexium before going out on a night drinking wine to get ahead of it.

And I didn't even know you could double drop a nexium. And I was like, wha. I mean, old habits die hard for Jarch, I guess double dropping on a nightout. Yeah, he goes, someone said, have you ever double drop nexium? And he goes, I'm familiar with half of that sentence. What's next to him? No, you should try that, though. You know the other part that's crazy?

I actually listened to a really, really old episode of the pod before recording the suburban dad stuff earlier this week. And it's crazy the difference between us then and, like, you can just tell we don't really know each other. And like, it's just, yeah, I... We didn't know each other. But you can tell. Yeah, right.

And I think that that's probably part of the journey that's so nice is that you actually hear us become friends in real time. Do you think that, Charles, because the reason you know the pod is because you were a champion Tapper and you listened to the show. But even like I was like going through the archive and stuff the other day and hearing, I was listening to an off air talk you guys were having in the first episode and you were getting to know each other. And it was just like, it was so weird and like just hearing that because it wasn't in the pod. But I was like, that's like so weird hearing that compared to like, now. Like what we're talking about? I can't fully. Or did you talk to some page on or something.

Yeah, I'll, I'll clip it up. I can't fully remember what it was. What's your favorite color? I think what Charles said to me that it was kind of like me being like, so what he up to on the weekend? Like first date shit. I would have hated that. But no, but like, because we didn't know.

The smallest of small. Yeah. Because we like just. Remember after we recorded one then you said, oh, like, if you, if you, if you want like, if there was a lot of that. There's a lot of that. So Tony invited me to come over for dinner after and I thought you, like, oh, if you like not be, I know you've like probably don't want to, but like you want to be a friend. I'll just go fuck myself.

No, but I was just like, yeah, and you're like, really? Like, you don't have to. Like, it's like you offered and I said yes and you were like, oh, no, well, you wouldn't want to. Yeah. But I just, yeah. Yeah. Why are you listening to old things? Or is that because of what we're about to discover?

Yes. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, not only listening, but of the Webby's judging panel, because I'm. submitting this for a webby. It's unreal. Do you want to introduce what the fuck you've done, Charles, or would you want us to pump you up for you? This is a year of smugness.

You're allowed to say what you've done. So I thought, no, play that people thought, it's not about me. This is about Charles. He's done something amazing. Wouldn't it be fun to do like a quiz and be like,

what word have we said the most in a thousand episodes? How many times have we brought up this topic? And Charles goes, oh, yeah, give me a sec. And then fucking a few hours later has created one of the crazy things ever. Tarpers says what.com. Tony and Ryan said what. Now,

Charles has created a search bar where we can type in certain words and find out how many times it's been mentioned on on what episodes and on what day. So if you're watching on YouTube, we're looking at this on the screen at the moment. But if you're listening,

we'll talk you through it. So yeah, you just search whatever you want. He has got some suggested words in the search bar, which I think are probably pretty accurate. But he has included himself. He's included in,

yourself twice on that actually when you include the disclaimer down the bottom yeah do you want to read the disclaimer Tony the disclaimer is built by Charles but all copyright remains to Tony and Ryan as he was working there when he built it even though it was outside of business hours he

ordered Uber Eats on the work account for dinner love you and you know what respect that yeah this would be whatever you had for dinner that night would be the greatest investment in my life because oh hell yeah bitch Fuck, you had an amazing day when you built this.

Yeah. Now, what I thought we would do, Tony. Yep. Is, um, it's like, I've made some, like, little quiz questions. Yeah. Using Charles's innovation. And again, it's tarps says what.com. To the nearest thousand.

Mm. How many times has the word fuck been said on this podcast? Oh, fuck. Oh. Not including today. Just so you know, fuck. and fucking are two different words. Oh.

That is actually great. That is good. Because that would have changed things a lot. To the nearest thousand. Okay. Oh, actually, all right. Well, let's do some maths here. A thousand episodes.

We say fuck more than once an episode. Yep. This is only on 99. Oh, sorry. Current episode, notwithstanding. Fuck. Now that I'm doing that math, I'm like, well, it's more than two times an episode. Is it

I'm going to I'm going to say 6,000 I was going to say 8,000 which is similar areas They're not the same No I feel like it's close Yeah Yeah okay

Search at Charles What You did it 8,784 time Hang on sorry It tells you what episodes And how many there are in it The greatest postie ever

From the 7th of August We set at 35 times that feels fucking low what's fucking um but hang on so what's surprising for me is that there's 15 episodes that we didn't say fuck but in those 15 episodes fucking was said because in one of those one of the episodes you didn't say it in because I added this little ibox so we can see which you didn't is live from our boat party but in that episode you met you said fucking a few times well click search on fucking 21,000.

I would have thought that was less. Nah, because we'd go, oh, fucking, yeah. In genius all night, it was said 73 times. Okay, so let me say, in fuck, the average was like 20 or 30 times in the episodes. This is way higher. 73 times, 66 times. I didn't know we swore so much. Oh, bitch.

Such b***. Oh, no, it's always bad. It doesn't come up. That's disgusting. It shouldn't come up. It didn't go. That'll be fixed. It snuck through 216 times. What I will say is that there's definitely been times where I've said, don't beat that.

And it stayed in. Can you type in the words don't beat that? Oh, just sentences work. Sometimes. We'll see. Tony can't say tits. Just did. Okay, my next question for us.

What has been said more? Diet Coke or Titanic Oh It's got to be Diet Coke Same It's got to be Yeah You don't know the answer right

No All right hit it Hit it Charles New page It's called Compare Titanic Whoa Diet Coke Diet Coke 151 hits in 64 episodes

Titanic has 195 hits in 63 episodes Oh, are they all the same episodes? How did we say the word... Oh, hold on, seven episodes contain both. Charles, this data is phenomenal. Yeah. As a data girl. Hang on.

How did we say the word Titanic 45 times during the IKEA guy episode? But only nine times in James Cameron, Titanic Secret. How come in the episode where I... It's called Tony has bad news. We said Diet Coke. 17 times.

Was that me saying I needed a diet coach? I was going to say, if you had bad news, I'd be like, oh, guys, you better give her a diet Coke. She's struggling.

Nine hits for Diet Coke on the podcast called hand jobs at the cinema. Sounds like the best day of my life. Getting fingered with a fucking diet Coke in the end. At the cinema, no less. Um, okay,

next question. What word has been said more? Tony or Ryan? Give you a clue Probably not Ryan I think it's probably Tony But because you introduce me every episode You welcome

Would you like to guess though Because this is Okay Do you have you looked at the results Just to make sure it worked Whatever Okay I reckon Tony would be said Four or five times per episode

So four or five thousand times Has anyone mentioned my name Because I don't call you... 999 episodes worth. I don't call you Ryan, but you introduce yourself as Ryan. Oh, of course. Like, welcome to Tony Ryan or... Ready?

Yep. Okay, Tony has been mentioned 15,000 times. Ryan has been mentioned 7,000 times. There are seven episodes where my name is not mentioned. That's my favourite star. Well, I mean, all of them. You're in all of them. Um,

uh, well, yeah, yeah, okay. Well, Charles, this is phenomenal technology. That's also us saying

the website and, yeah, which my name is also in. Yeah, that's crazy, man. Why? Um, Charles,

can, oh, can I ask for a Google? Or are we doing it? Let's, we'll finish your quiz. Then we can do my quiz. mine two more questions I've got is how many times how many times has the word

hypothetically been said hypothetically I feel like probably not that many because you say it more in real life because you come out here and you go hypothetically if you're my car keys where would you be so that's not on the show as much I don't know if you would have said that on the show so much I'd say 40 I'm going like 12 oh 105 Across 56 episodes. Oh, well, that episode's called Hypothetical Botic Fowl. Also, I'm glad we did a good job of naming the episode on the... When is that?

This could be a little, like, error in the system. Okay. Yeah. Oh, I just see. Yeah. Oh, we weren't even doing a podcast in 2011. Not by the long way. That's our 2012.

Oh, the dates back to front. I see. I was like, 2011. We haven't been doing this a while. I was only 18. I was only 18. All right. And finally, and this will be tough.

Yeah. Melbourne or Perth, what city has been mentioned more times, considering of the 999 previous episodes we've recorded, I'd say 960 of them have been recorded in Melbourne? Yep. And none have been recorded in Perth. I'm going Perth. Oh, Melbourne, 1,400, Perth 845. But both words together, there's 210 episodes that contain both. Now, I don't want to explain a Venn diagram, but the crossover, that's good.

Why is there an episode called shitting on Billy Ray Cyrus's chair? What were we talking about? Yeah, 2002, wild time. Yeah, bread, murder and a cheery. Cransky. Can you search for Billy Ray Cyrus, just in general? Because surely that's the only episode. Wow. 11 times. That could be Miley Cyrus as well, I guess. Don't use capitals if you're searching on this website. Okay. Tony, you had a question for the... Would you like first 0408? Do you want to see how many times? Yeah, actually I do. I reckon I've said 0408. Will that

work? Because... It does, yes. It does? Yeah. Um, I'm going to say more than a hundred times. Okay. What do you reckon, Ryan? 150 times, including 10 times in the episode, oh, 408 royalty. Um, oh, the episode isn't too early for nicknames. Was that with us or for Benny? No, that was, that was me and you because I called you Rye.

Oh. Okay, I've got one. I would love to compare what has been said more. Car wash or Frape? Have I saw Frape? F-R-A-P-P-E. Surely Frape. Car wash.

104 times we've said car wash and we've said Frape 41 times. There was one episode that contained both Car Wash and Frape. What episode was that? Sounds like the best episode ever. At McDonald's and in the bedroom. Classic. Classic. That's good stuff.

Charles, I think I speak on behalf of everyone in our team and all TARPAs around the world. This is unreal, man. That's so crazy. TARPA said what.com or TARPA said what.com slash compare. Well, but sorry, I just realized that there's a button there that says top 25 words. Oh, yeah? Yeah, click it. click that's uh yeah we've said yeah a hundred and three thousand times oh so they're just like

filler words yeah oh fucking is number 24 or number nine is no can we google cum pardon can we google come like how many times do we say come but would the with the computer know the difference between come and come do both that one's called semen samples i reckon it does that's a lot of jeez a lot of cum that's a lot of jiz what do you love to see Tony Lodge

I've got a great little tale here from Jess Nolan who sent this on Patreon we've been DMing Jess's son Hudson he's five they're getting ready for a barbecue that they're hosting

and with some friends and she goes you know some of mummy's friends are coming over and Hudson goes oh what time are Tony and Ryan coming and Jess had to break it

to her son uh that tony and ryan aren't coming to the barbecue our friends amy and ryan are coming to the barbecue sounds lame he cried for 20 minutes and doesn't want anything to do with the barbecue anymore yeah fair uh now who is that yes now i think there's an obvious question that needs to be asked that sort of where was the invite to the fucking be bebe qua jess we would have come to it i've never seen tony say no to a barbecue well we've just recently discussed Sisson every fortnight. So the

reason your kid is crying is because of you. Is because of your shit inviting technique. I can't come to a barbecue. I don't know about girlfriend. It's pretty simple. If I knew about it, I would

fucking come on over. Fucking come. After 2,000 episodes, we'll recheck their data. That is, I love that. People are going to have a field day with that. It probably will be updated. It past 1,000 apps and hit some limitations when you upload a thousand things.

Oh, yeah. So, it's all right. We'll do 1,000 to 2,000 next year. Give me some time. Should we change it to Tarp says what in the first thousand episodes.com? Now, this is just a real quick, fun one. What do you love to see, Ryan? Try to say your name more.

If you're really bad that we've said your name half as much as much. Tony, Tony, Tony, Tony. Ryan, what do you think, Ryan? Ryan, I'd love to hear your thoughts, Ryan. See how unnatural it is for you, Tony? It's weird, because I don't say your name ever. Except when I'm squealing like a piggy. Right.

We, sorry, right, everyone. Whoa. We have to make a conscious decision when Mabel was about one to start saying her name around her. Yes. Because Bridget called her chicken and I called her girlfriend. and we're like, she's not going to know her name's Mabel because we never call her that. Would you like to know how many times Mabel has been mentioned? Yes.

Oh, I would actually. 940. We got up that. Yeah. Well, she's only been around for half of it. True. Yeah, 325 episodes. Oh, Pashy's Lodge.

Can we check Pippa? If Pippa's got more than Mabel. Well, she's been around longer. Oh, it wasn't. Thank God. If we're in awkward afternoon. Here it's toughdown. 572.

We'd probably get to get that up a bit as well. Why would that be bad if we'd said Pippermore? She's been alive longer. Okay. I don't think BJ is a good one to search because that could be many ways we've said it. Oh, but BJ seen a ghost is the third one that pops up. Yeah. Oh, that was when he saw me naked.

What do you love to see, Ryan, John? Jonathan Dunn. Atap of Lauren. Hi, Lauren. I just sold my house from a Reddit post. What? She goes, I just got really fucked off

with the real estate fees being so high and didn't want to go through because you know that I'll charge like 20, 30 grand? I've never sold a house. Yeah. Like I, so I don't actually know that.

Yeah, like it takes a long time, right? Yeah, so she just posted on Reddit. Does anyone want my house? Here's the price I want. And someone goes, yeah. And she sold it, gone through, money's arrived, done, signed off. She's like, fucking.

stoked saved $25,000 on real estate fees that is the craziest thing I've ever heard and Reddit as well I don't know why that just feels a bit even crazier because like what if the person just oh yeah and you don't know

that they're going to send you the money or whatever but I guess you just don't give them the case yeah what if would you buy a house on Reddit? No right well you'd still you'd go okay I want to get a builder's inspection.

So true. I forgot that you could do all of that stuff legitimately. Yeah. Just not do the website. You know, just like click the link on Reddit and hope the house turns up. Yeah, so that's what I was thinking.

So when's delivery, 24 hours? That's where I went in my mind. Tony, did you order a three-bedroom, two bath? He knocks at Tarp Tower. Yeah. And I go, oh, sorry, I didn't know that went through. Yeah. I put on the work card.

That's Charles. How many times have I thrown to Tony for your love to see it and you'd already done it? Oh, can you search for dads on boats? Dad's naming boats. Charles, I can't say it. Yeah, because it's like... Oh, yeah.

Just go naming boats. 17 times. I cost 12 episodes. Oh. So, Tony, what do you love to see? I already did the barbecue. Of course. Good one.

Is it because you don't care about my love to see it? No, because we never, it's never like Tony always goes first. No. There's no rhyme or reason. So sometimes I just don't know where we're up to. There's no Ryan or reason.

That's funny. We're going to spend the next seven hours playing with this website. Just playing with this website. Yeah. Sox it's been said 280 times. Oh. What about? What about pussy?

I was about the same. Oh, that's low. That is low. I've got to get that up. That's 203. to get our pusses up um pop our pussy up how many times have we said Kathy Bates that was on my list originally oh you've spelt that incredibly you've absolutely fucked that up I was trying to see it on the screen I couldn't see it but doesn't do take the E out of

Kathy for a star maybe put a K on the front but I think it might come up with both yeah okay try see oh wait let me do about this 75 times Go back to the, with the KHRs. We said Kathy Bates 12 times in the episode of 6 degrees of impossible Kathy Bates, but 22 times in Cancelmints Pires, which was the episode we won the Webby for. You're welcome. You're welcome.

No one else clap. That's okay. That's okay. I'm holding an iPad that my feet haven't touched. Toe jam on that iPad. Thank you. Sorry, I'm just. Are you okay, man?

No, I nearly had a stroke earlier today. I'll be having a stroke later Thank you for indulging us on our 1,000th episode We've had a really good time I don't know if this F's been interesting for you But we've been loving it But thank you so much for listening And being part of this or any of the other 1,000 episodes

We don't take it for granted We really appreciate it so thank you so much Can't do it without you Yeah And to take us out for the thousandth time Love you, bye Meow