Toni and Ryan - Facetime In The Bathroom

Episode Date: November 23, 2023

Normal or nah... Facetiming on the toilet? Love u xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello, welcome to the podcast. This is Tony and Ryan. I'm Tony. This is Ryan. We're calling Misty in Gainesville, Florida. Florida? Tony just winked and did facial things at me and was- You could do facial things to me if you want. See, that's what- Okay, sorry. It feels strange in the office now because you keep doing that wink thing. Yeah. What if I just keep one eye closed and then it's not a wink? It's just a-

Then you'd be a pirate's just a perpetual wink. Hello? Missy! Oh, my God, I can't believe it's you. Yay! Yes, it's Tony and Ryan. What's going on in Gainesville, Florida at the moment? It's cold, unfortunately.

Really? I didn't think it got cold in Florida. Florida was just hot and wet all the time. Just hot and wet and people, that's what I thought. Well, we get a few cold days here, so yes. Oh, okay. Well, rug up. It's under 100. Is it bad luck that we've called

on the only cold day you've ever had? No, it just makes my spirits better, that's all. Oh, well, you're welcome. We've come to rescue you. Will you rescue us and approve this podcast? Absolutely, I will. Hey, it's Misty from Florida, and I approve this podcast. All right, it's a Friday.

We're still on the road, so just an audio show. No video show today. Video show. Not available. We'll be back to those soon. But, Tony, coming up today. I have broken through a friendship barrier. Something really incredible has happened since we've been away.

Is it with me? No, it's not because you still haven't called me your best friend. That's okay. No, something. Do you call me your best friend? Because you always give me grief for not calling it you, but I feel like, you know- I'm just trying to think if- So, you know what's been really weird since you've been away that if I'm ever talking about you, because normally I'd be like, oh, I'm just waiting for Ryan. I feel weird being like, I'm just waiting for my friend because that sounds odd. But then I'm like, I'm just waiting for my business partner. I'm just waiting for my friend because that sounds odd. But then I'm like, I'm just waiting for my business partner.

I'm just waiting for my co-host. Like, what do you say? So, what do you say? Well, I haven't figured it out. Every time I go, I'm just waiting for someone. I'll just say that. Just waiting for someone. That's fine.

Okay. Glad we figured that out. How many people are you talking to while you're waiting? I wait for you a lot because you are always going to the bathroom. Yeah, but I never, if I see someone waiting out in front of the bathroom, I never walk up to them and go, well, what are you doing? Okay, this might be a ladies' toilet thing, but often if you're like waiting there for something, people go,

oh, are you waiting? Are you in the line or are you just? And I go, oh, no, I'm just like waiting for someone or a friend or whatever. One of the best things about the meet and greets is when people see a huge line and go- What's going on here? And they come up to Tony and it's always Tony for some reason. I'm obviously so friendly looking.

Oh, okay. All right. And they always go, excuse me, ma'am, what are people lining up for? And Tony goes, me. I don't- No, I don't say it like that. How do you say it? I go, oh, embarrassingly like- No, no. Yes, I do. Yes, I do. No, don't say it like that. How do you say it? I go, oh, embarrassingly, like, they're waiting.

No, no. Yes, I do. No, don't. It's said jovially. It's said lightheartedly. I'm like, oh, like, how embarrassing. Like, yeah, they're waiting for us. I literally do.

You go, they're waiting for me, doll. No. Oh, she's off. She's off. She makes it look like she's storming out, but she's actually just going to the fridge to get a can of diet coke because they've got another bit of cheese yeah um no i always go oh like us and they go and they go what and they go you get and then you go hey mate if you want to have a chat like so does everyone else in the lineup imagine you're a tarpa though and you go what's this line for like play dumb yeah so that you get to the front yeah oh i'll get a photo i'm like

well nah no no um shout out to who was the last guy cupid cupid uh dj dj cupid he lined up he goes i don't know you guys but i saw a line and i want a photo and we're like that's all that's all good he kissed me on the hand it It was very romantic. Wow. Romantic slash. Horrifying. Yeah. And he goes, I just love a photo. I'm like, yeah, of course, man.

And he goes, well, I don't have a phone. Can you just take it on your phone? Yeah. And then we go, okay. Where should we send it? He goes, no, good. I just want that photo. I just want it to exist.

To exist in the world. You, Cam's, that's on Cam's phone. Okay. Oh, great. We'll put the photo up. Shout out to DJ Cupid. DJ Cupid. What a nice guy.

He was actually quite nice. And he was wearing a shirt that said, like, best pizza in Venice Beach or something, but I don't know where it was. Was he the best pizza? He said best pizza, but I'm like, oh, whereabouts? And he's like, what? And I was like, okay. Okay, just a shirt.

Then we left. Just a shirt. And then we ordered Pizza Hut, and we just hoped that that was the best pizza in Venice. That happened. That actually happened. It was quite good, actually. Stuffed crust, game the best pizza in Venice. That happened. That actually happened. It was quite good, actually. Stuffed crust, game changer.

It really is. You guys laughed at me, but beautiful. Last week, we found out that in the process of securing a house, Tony had to send some documents and take a photo and some screenshots. And because she was on FaceTime, was it FaceTime? Yeah, it was on facetime when i took the screenshot and forgot that tony was were you in a towel just straight up nude i was i was naked i had a headband on yeah was there oh that's right and um and then before i realized i'd already sent

the picture off to the thing with and then just i'm guessing so it's you in the corner so it's like the top right hand side it's like the top right-hand side. It's like me and Torbs also. And we're both like concentrating on what we're talking about. So, I'm like furrowed brow, my boobs out. And I'm wearing this big like headband that I wear in the shower so my hair doesn't get wet. So, it's not like a chic little headband like the black one that I wear. There's different kinds of nude.

It's like a big toweling headband. It's like comical. The tarpers have got your back, Tony, because you're not the only one that sent some dumb things to some dumb people. Or the wrong thing to the wrong person at the wrong time. This is just a nice cringy moment fest. Jessica Nelson. Hi, Jessica Nelson.

I broke up with a guy and texted my friend and said, it's finally over. But instead of texting the friend, I accidentally sent it to the guy and he replied, I know I was there. I was there. I know. As if you wouldn't know that that was obviously not meant for you. I think that's not on Jess.

That's on a dumb fucking ex. No wonder they fucking broke up. Yeah, he's a dead shit that couldn't read a room. He could read a text, but he couldn't read a room. Only just. It was five days later he messaged that back. He's like, yeah, I remember that happening. Our mate Smosh Smodges.

Oh. He's been in a few precarious positions. Yeah. Now, he's now in a happy relationship. This is not his current partner. He's very happily married, yep. I was dating this girl and I texted my friend saying how rude she was to my mother and that she's kind of a bitch and needs to grow up a bit.

Red flag, though, being rude to your mum. 100%. Like, that's not good. But guess who Smosh Smodgers accidentally sent the text to? Oh. Oh, no wonder it's an ex-girlfriend. He sent it to the girl and realised about four seconds later. What would you have assumed then, Tony? What did you just say? No wonder it's an

ex. She called me an arsehole, but surprisingly we kept dating for another few months. Oh. Oh, God, they were both desperate then, obviously. The thing is, is that I'm wondering, like, yeah, that's really, the moment it happens, you go, oh, fuck. But then do you kind of go, well, you were a dick to my mum. You were a dick to my mum. Like, is that not actually like a good, like,

do you harness that opportunity and go, I actually didn't love the way that you spoke to me on this occasion or whatever. That's a good way to, like, sneak it through. No, but it's not sneak it through. You go, look, I fucked up. I'll cop way that you spoke to me on this occasion or whatever. That's a good way to like sneak it through. No, but it's not sneak it through. You go, look, I fucked up. I'll cop to that. I'll go, hey, Ryan, I've accidentally sent you the message

that it was about you, not to you. But now that we're talking about it, can we talk about it? That's a good way to broach. Do you think it's like accidentally broach? You're going to get a text message this afternoon. Don't. Don't. I'm not saying it's the choice you make.

No, no, I'm making this choice. I'm just saying that if you found yourself in that position, it feels like it would be a good opportunity, like good jumping off point. And it's going to say, hey, Cam, do you think, considering there was four Diet Cokes at the studio and Tony had three of them, that was probably like a bit uncool. And then Cam replies and he goes, and all that cheese.

How is he replying? I sent it to you. No, you sent it to our group chat. The group chat. We're on the phone to you. We're still in the room and you go, hey, Cam. Isn't that like. Those cheese sticks just disappeared through the week, didn't they?

They're really good. Last time Spotify Los Angeles invited us to use the studio. Yeah, I don't think it's going to happen. Anyway, anyway, bit of fun, bit of fun. Sarah. Hi, Sarah. At a previous company, a HR person accidentally sent me a spreadsheet of everyone's annual salary.

Over 300 employees. 300. You're joking. So, once I was printing something when I worked in Perth and it must have been tax time and my boss had just printed out her pay slip so she could file her taxes. Oh, well, I mean, company dollar. Yeah. Yeah, take the piss.

Yeah. Yeah, I hope she wasn't claiming that printing on her fucking- Yeah. Yeah, so- Work paid for it. So, I picked up my boss's like annual- Did you have a gaze? Absolutely.

What was it? Was it- Yeah, it was her. Really? Yeah. How much was it? I won't say how much it was, but it was less than mine. No!

What? Yeah. Fuck yeah. Hostel and Breakfast Radio. Fucking- In Perth. But then I walked into her office and goes, you must have printed this and it was just left on top of the printer.

Shame, bitch. Yeah, and she goes, oh, thanks. It's a bit embarrassing. I was like, it is. Oh. Oh, my God. Three properties starts to speak up, eh? Wow.

Wow, wow, wow. But isn't that just imagine everyone knowing you had that spreadsheet and you're just walking around with a clipboard going, oh, okay. And you go, yeah, did you scroll down to L? Like did you see mine or did you just look at the top and then you would have a gaze though. You would. Naturally, I think that you would.

Even though there is a part of you that i think i would split second go i can't forget this like you can't unsee that and would it make you angry if you know there's the shit kicker who makes more and then you go oh and like well that's the thing you're curious but then you go i'm gonna have to maybe ignorance is bliss that's that's what i mean like you can't unsee it i feel like there would be a moment where you go, I'm going to have to, maybe ignorance is bliss. That's what I mean. Like you can't unsee it. I feel like there would be a moment where you go, I actually don't want to know. And because then I'm sure that like it's like inadmissible in court. So you couldn't then go, hey, I'd like a pay rise and then go,

well, we don't have the budget. And then you go, well, I know that Sally's getting paid $9,000 more than me or whatever. Well, because you know how companies like you can't talk about it and which is bullshit and illegal. So ridiculous. So that same job. can't talk about it, which is bullshit and illegal. So ridiculous. So that same job. Don't you say think, Ham.

Yeah, that same, yeah, find out what everyone else is doing. That same job, like I was on a really good salary, but I didn't get a bonus or any bonuses. And they go, yeah, we don't really do bonuses here. But I was co-hosting it, there was three of us, and the other two got bonuses for ratings, not me. Juicy. Yeah.

Wow. And so when someone goes, oh, something about this, I go, yeah, there's something about that. And they go, oh, yeah. Shut them the fuck up. Oh. Because I'm like, yeah. Knowledge is power, guys.

But like if you were then trying to negotiate a pay rise, they go, well, you're not supposed to know what salary gets paid, so it's not fair. I'm like, yeah, but I do know, though. But I do know, so shut the fuck up. Yeah. So, is it true? Because I used that to negotiate for a pay rise for me. I said, I know what these people are being paid.

Because they told me, not because I did the dodgy. Is it true, Tony Lodge, that a man doing the same job as you was getting paid a lot more? Two men, both doing the same job as me. One in a different slot, one in the same. They were both getting paid more lot more. Two men, both doing the same job as me, one in a different slot, one in the same. They were both getting paid more than me. And you said, hey, I'm not asking for more than them. I just think I deserve the same pay.

I just deserve the same. And what did they say? They said, oh, we'll have to talk to the big boss. I said, you've got a week. You talk to him and you come back to me. And then a week later, walked to him and you come back to me. And then a week later, walked into that office, marched in actually and said, how'd you go with the big boss? He went, oh, yeah, it's just not going to happen this year.

And I said, all right, get fucked. I quit. Yeah. And now I'm rich. It wasn't for a while though. Chris Gailey. Hi, Chris. I once sent a raunchy text to my husband quite specifically detailing what was in store for him later that night.

Hot. I would never do that. I wouldn't be confident enough, even to Torbs. Like, he has literally seen every part of my body and I'd be like, no, I can't. Why don't we text Torbz now? No. The three of us will craft this message and we'll say,

when I next see you. No, no, I can't. This is what's in store for you. No, I can't. I can't. There's no way. Write this down. Repeat after me.

Have you ever come so hard you shit yourself? I thought you were about to go, have you ever felt like this? When strange things happen, I'll be shitting on your dick. Yeah, good. Brainstorm. I'll send him that. Voice the text.

Yeah. Voice the text and ask me. I once sent a raunchy text to my husband detailing what was going to happen to him that night. Unfortunately, I sent it to the last person I was texting. Oh. Which happened to be my 20-year-old son. Oh, you would just die on the spot. See you later.

Enjoy my funeral. Vaporize to death. Just explode with death. It took a long time to live that one down. I fucking bet it did, Chris. And, you know, like, I guess it depends on, like, what the relationship you have with your family. But, like, I can just imagine if, like, if I was- I don't think there's any relationship,

well, maybe except for the dad-m don't think there's any relationship, well, maybe except for the dad moulded cock dildo story. But I think- Zero context. That's okay. I think besides that family that we learnt about, there is no, like, oh, how close are you? Oh, well, I just detailed how I'm going to rail your dad later tonight. Well, I more mean, like, if you were a, a like casual, funny family,

you could like take the piss. But you imagine if you had like a real like straight up and down. Don't say straight up and down, mate. Don't say straight up and down. But, you know, if you had like a real conservative family that you like couldn't bring and it was just like, sweep that under the rug and ignore it, that would be quite awkward. But if you had a family that you could have a bit of fun with

and you went, oh, that's so gross, mum and dad. And then they went, oh, well, you're lucky we love each other. You know how parents are. You're lucky we love each other. Yeah. Apparently you really love each other. Apparently you love getting fucked by each other. That's what I'm saying.

So Bridget's sister. Didn't know what you were about to say. Yeah. Texted me. That's right. Oh, my God. This will make you just piss. say. Yeah. Texted me. That's right. Oh, my God. This will make you just piss. Oh, God.

I don't think you're allowed to tell this story. Well, she wasn't specific. Adele. Adele. Her name is Adele. Don't stop saying her name. Oh, sorry. The singer.

Adele. Coliseum in January and February. She just said, are we still good for tonight? And Bridget Season goes, what? What? Well, Adele's in New Zealand. Stop saying her name. Adele's in Las Vegas.

Adele's in Vegas. Coliseum, Caesars Palace. And I said, oh, I think you've texted the wrong Ryan. And she texts back and goes, yeah, I have. That's not that. That's not tits. You know, that's not cummies. That isn't tits.

They're all cummies. Yeah. But, you know, like, I think that's okay. We're still on for tonight. That could be anything. That could be me picking up a shift for a friend. That could be, you know. Yep, divorce.

It could be divorce, yeah. But most likely it was for sex. Yeah, that's true. Hey, it's Misty from Florida and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapions from the Patreon, our champion tapas from our Patreon tapas, Tony and Ryan podcast. Errs. Sorry, I erred too soon.

Errs. Podcasters. You're okay. Yeah. I haven't seen you that revved up since you shared a drink with the Air Force boys in Vegas. The NDA has been signed. You're very popular with the – thank you for your service. I was very popular with the boys.

Yeah. In their uniforms? I was wearing a tuxedo t-shirt. They were like in in full what is it called when it's like the formal military wear well they're in their like proper um oh what's the word like their um it's like a formal garb it is garb but that it's like their it's their not their uniform it's not their civvies. It's like their ceremonial something. But their fancy going out ones. Not just like the uniform. It's like the dress robes of the.

And then Tony in a tuxedo t-shirt. And Doc Martin sandals. Thank you for your service. Thank you. Kenneth Room. Room for one more. Thank you, Kenneth. Katerina schmier schmier uh megan blacksmith megan magen moggan uh chelsea ahmed thank you chelsea lisa kovaka good on you lisa

we love you so much and trevor mead you love to meet it yeah you love to see me it's great to meet you trevor great to meet you trevor good on you um that's not the trevor that brought the shit towel to Toronto, in case you were wondering. Different Trevor. I wasn't wondering. I have broken through a friendship barrier. I have kept you, Ryan, and all of the Tarpers, my family,

my closest family, across the growth and movement with my friend Rachel. Yes, Rachel Sarah. Sarah. Thanks for the artwork in Mabel's room. She loves it. You're welcome. Looks at it every morning. She does love it. To refresh everyone's memory, you might recall we were just IG friends. So, we followed each other on Instagram. Dot comrades. Exactly. This is where dot comrades came from because we needed to come up with a term because I kept saying my friend on Instagram and you said they're not your friends.

Yeah. But then on Instagram and you said they're not your friends. But then on the pod I said, when do you think I can move this friendship offline and ask for her number? And we were all there for that. Yep. And now we actually are like real-life friends. Haven't you guys gone and partied together? Yeah, we've like gone out a few times and whenever she's in Melbourne

we always catch up. That's right. You went to a music gig, dancing away, time we did and a wonderful update that you're engaged nope thank you though um better we're going to tail swift together holy fuck yep when did that happen what happened i'm telling you now no there was so much brew there's the tickets i know so she bought tickets for her and her brother to go. And she killed her brother. The brother's dead now.

Thank God. Yeah, fuck that guy. And I'm going. She's not performing six feet under, so he can't. Exactly right. No. So, I'm going with Rachel. Her brother can't go now.

I'm glad we clarified about the brother. We're going. Yeah, he's not dead. Thank God. Otherwise, she might be a bit of a downer at the concert. You know what I'm saying? Just cheer up. Just smile more. Yeah. It's two hours. Thank God. Otherwise, she might be a bit of a downer at the concert. You know what I'm saying? Just cheer up. Just smile more.

Yeah. It's two hours, babe. Get through it. You're crying. We'll bring him back. Yeah. Anyway, and so we're going to Taylor Swift together, which is quite a serious- That's a big friendship thing.

As a Swiftie, you don't want to enjoy that or experience that with someone who's not into it. Are you going to buy her a present? I paid for the ticket. Okay. Which I think is present enough. Yeah. You're friends now.

You want to impress her. We'll probably, like, go out for dinner beforehand or we have, there has been chat of, like, maybe do a sleepover after, which is quite cute. Are you guys going to? Well, or maybe, maybe like After the concert Do we like Get a hotel

And like Get room service And like hang out And watch a movie Or something Does she think This is like a friends thing No

Or does she think She's gonna get Which is like Yeah but when you go Do you wanna spend the night I just wanna make sure That she knows what I mean

Does she think That you think No No But how do you know that She goes Oh fly into Melbourne We'll see a show We we'll have dinner first,

oh, drinks, I'll stay in the hotel. Oh, fingered. Fingered all of a sudden. Oh, righty. Yeah. No, I don't think that's the plan. I'm sure because it sounds fingerish. Sounds fingerish.

Well, I don't know. She might not want to finger me after what happened. Oh, what happened? So, like everybody on earth, I use my phone on the toilet. Okay? Why? How has this story turned so drastically so soon? Because everybody uses their phone on the toilet.

And people who don't are liars. Exactly. It's like saying you don't wee in the shower or you don't swallow your mucus when you cough it up. I am always either, like, scrolling or texting or whatever. I'm a multitasker. Like I just, it makes the time go faster and just like a little poos plopping out and you just like doing your admin or whatever. While we were in Vegas, I was chatting to Rachel like we were texting and I was chatting to Rachel like we were texting.

Yeah. And I was pooing. Which is, again, you wouldn't say you were pooing, but it's fine. But it's fine. It's like ignorance is bliss. Like if I'm texting somebody or whatever. So, what you're saying is as long as she doesn't know that you're pooing, it's fine. Well, to be honest, I'm pretty open.

So, if someone was like, are you pooing? I would probably go, yeah. I'm going to text you one day. We'll be mid-text and I'll just randomly ask if you're pooing. Mate, it's already happened. I text you on the toilet all the time. I've put myself on mute while I've been on the phone before and I've been pooing.

Oh, is that? I'm like, I'm not getting back on this. Hello? Yeah. You can't even hear me breathing. You're like, have you died? What do you reckon? And you just hear this, good. Yeah. Pretty good. You go're like, have you died? What do you reckon? And you just hear this. Good.

Yeah. Pretty good. You got like as you mute or something. No, anyway, so we're all messaging and, you know, like the juiciest ghost is like, let me just call you for a sec. Yeah, I don't want fucking screenshots or evidence. But also just like I can say it faster than I can text it. Let me just call you real quick.

And the phone starts ringing and it's a FaceTime. Oh, my God. You guys are friends. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't just FaceTime anyone. Oh, hang on, hang on, hang on. But you're still sitting. I'm on the toilet.

And because we were just texting up until now, I'm like, I hadn't said, I'm just pooing and like i'm in vegas that's not a regular poo you know i'm saying yeah that's yeah it's a fucking dense old bitch it's uh i've had eight different types of drinks yeah um anyway so we're texting she goes oh let me just facetime you real quick and tell you this thing and i was like oh i've got to make a snap decision here the phone's ringing yeah what do you run me three options here okay so instantly i'm like the gossip's so good obviously like whatever it is you've got to tell me is obviously like so good because you want to text you want to call instead of text but i'm pooing we've never done this before how like do i say something do i decline

and go i'll call you back in five minutes? Give me a sec. The girl like, oh, hang on. Let me just, I'll call you back in a sec or whatever. We were in a position to like. Wrap up? Yeah. Not really. That's a nice way of saying it. Not really.

I was going to say snap it off. Was who? But I'm like, what would Jesus do? You know what I'm saying? And instantly I'm like, we're friends. This is fine. No. I answer the FaceTime.

No, you did not. And I answer and I go, hi. And she goes, hey. So, anyway, and I went, I'm just pooing. Is that okay? I ripped the Band-Aid off, you know. Well, if you thought it was a date, it's not anymore. And that's what I mean.

Maybe after this she's changed her mind. And I go, I'm just pooing. Is that all right? you know well if you thought it was a date it's not anymore and that's what i mean maybe she after this she's changed her mind um and i go i'm just pooing is that all right and she goes yeah oh good we've passed the test that's huge that is actually huge yeah that's quite big if someone did that to you would you be oh i wouldn't care because i'm like everybody poos this is a great time for you to like not be doing something i don't think it's about the pooing i think it's about the like if if i called someone and they were on the toilet, I'd be like, oh, do you want me to call you back? I wouldn't have answered, though, if I, yeah.

Yeah, true. Like, the same as if you called me and I was like, oh, you can wait a minute. I would just, like, decline it and call you back in five minutes and go, hey, mate, sorry. But, like, if I was like, oh, I've been waiting for you to ring me, I'll answer. Yeah. Okay, so any time you decline and call me back a few minutes later, I'll have assumed you've

pooed. Yeah. I've also done it when, like, called you back after, like, having sex with Torbs as well, which you've done to me as well. Not with Torbs, obviously, but with Richard. No, I've done it with Torbs as well. Lucky you. It's good, isn't it?

Anyway. Sorry. Sorry. Anyway. So, the phone rings. We're on the phone. I'm pooing. And she's, like, telling me this thing. And I was like, oh the phone rings. We're on the phone. I'm pooing and she's like telling me this thing. I was like, oh, my God.

And then I was like, I'm kind of ready to wrap up. And I just like tilted the phone like so it was instead of like my whole face. It was up. I kind of tilted up like that and I was going to wipe and clean myself up. And she was talking. So it wasn't as if I was like I'm talking and I'm like, you know, I just kind of tilted my camera up. I wiped my bum and it was all clean. It was all good.

It wasn't, you know, it didn't have to go back second, third, fourth time. Yeah, thank God. It was, you know, like one and done, clean. A ghost. It was a bit of a ghost. Ghost vibe. Which I didn't think would happen in Vegas. Yeah.

Yeah. What happens in Vegas stays. Stays in Vegas. And in your asshole. And anyway, now feels like a good time to bring something up about the toilets in America. Yeah. So, you know how like in Australia there's like not a lot of water in the bottom. Yeah.

And everything that you do like goes to the bottom of the toilet and it just like flushes away. Yeah. But here, it's like a big bowl. The bowl is like an aquarium. It's like a stork's mouth. Like it's got, it's like it got the gullet at the front. Yeah. And anyway, when I first got here, I was like, God,

they probably get blocked really easily. Is this what happened? And so... Is this what caused the little phone call to answer the line at 6am? I get up and I go, oh, I'm done, ha, ha, ha. And she goes, how did you wipe and stuff? I was talking and I was like, oh, not my first time. We're like laughing.

I flushed the toilet. I actually, I flushed the toilet. I don't like it here. I think I'm going to be an accountant again. And instead of everything going, it doesn't. Does it start rising? It starts to rise. And again, I realise I've got a snap decision to make here.

I either watch this water rise or I plunge my hand into the toilet. In real time? Yeah. You shut the lid and pretend you know none the wiser and you leave. And so I- While on FaceTime. I'm on FaceTime. Are your pants up yet?

I was wearing my nightie. Oh, easy access. I'm on FaceTime. I go, shove my hand in the toilet, pull my shit and toilet paper back out, and I, like, throw my phone down, and I'm like, oh, my God. I'm, like, clawing my shit out of the toilet. Tony Lodge.

Tony Lodge. And then. And then. More poo gets handled in this podcast than- Is humanly possible. And then I- The thing all- It all goes down.

Like, it's fine. Right? It's not so fine. Nothing about this is fine. So, it's, like, not fine. But, like, the toilet's fine and it's functioning as normal. It just got a little bit clogged. Yeah.

He's just standing there on FaceTime holding your own poo. So, the phone was, like, on the, like, where you flush it. Like, I'd kind of just, like, thrown it down and then was getting down to business. She was pissing herself laughing. Like, losing it. And then, anyway, I go, oh, my God, the toilet was getting blocked. Like, I didn't know what to do. And it was kind of one of those things that if I didn't do that immediately, it would have been, like, such a mess.

Anyway, I go, hang on, I'm just going to go wash my hands. And so I'm, like, scrubbing for dear life. And anyway, she's losing it. I'm all good. The toilet's all good. My hands are clean. And she's like, oh, my God, that is hilarious. And then, like, continues on with her story.

Yeah, so what's the gas? Oh, no, well, that's for girl time. But anyway, and so that's what happened. And then I was like, God, like, how did I almost block a toilet? Like, that is not good. And then, like, two nights later, I wake up to everything's exploding. My hotel room completely blocked and backed up, and I had to call down to maintenance.

I called the front desk. Who asked you to have the call? Well, hang on. So, it's, like, 4 a.m. I have to call maintenance. They take, like, an hour to get there. I'm, like, the toilet is overflowing, I have to call maintenance.

They take like an hour to get there. I'm like, the toilet is overflowing and the shower is like rising with like black water in the bottom of the shower. That was disgusting. Anyway, and then I'm like, is this my fault from the other day? Yeah. And then the guy comes in, he's like, no, these are brand new buildings and they aren't like really working properly yet. A few teething issues. Yeah. new buildings and they aren't like really working properly yet.

A few teething issues. Yeah. And so then immediately I'm like, oh, so I didn't really block the toilet on FaceTime the other day. That's pretty good. Like how good. And then the guy goes, no, that was you that time. And I can't believe you're on FaceTime. So instantly in my head I'm like, oh, so it wasn't my fault the other day.

And I was like, yeah, but that already happened. Yeah. Yeah. So Rachel and I, very close obviously. And then you called me and I had to. oh so it wasn't my fault the other day and i was like yeah but that already happened yeah yeah so rachel i very close obviously yeah and then you called me and i had to i well i text the group chat and i was like guys so they go you can't stay here and we don't have any more rooms and i'm like well so it's fucking 5 30 in the morning morning. What am I supposed to do? They go, I don't know. And guess who comes crawling over. And I'm like, I don't know.

Ryan, you're like. Yeah, it's actually all a ruse to get into Ryan's bed. I shat myself with this. I just, that happened, you know. How do you feel? I think you were a little frazzled. I was frazzled because I'd been woken up and like all of a sudden. Oh, but I've been Vegas.

You're not really a Vegas person, but I felt like you were a bit flapped. I'm not a Vegas girl. It turns out. Not that anyone will be shocked by that information, but no, it wasn't for me. I think I'd like to see the Grand Canyon, but the actual strip, not for me. Okay. I've got to love to see it. Do you classify Pippa as a rescue dog?

Not really. Nah. We, like, re-homed her from someone else. Gracie said, people with rescue dogs act like they're superior humans. Thanks for taking me out of that category first. I hate it and then. So, when people ask if I adopted my little pup, I go, no, he's my biological dog. I love that, Gracie.

I agree, though. And it's like, oh, but if you want like a certain breed or whatever. And I think as long as you go to a registered breeder and not like a backyard breeder where the dogs like get treated really poorly, that's a different situation, I think. Oh, is that a pup? Is it rescue? Yeah, yeah. We get it, mate. That's a different situation, I think. Oh, is that a puppy? Is it a rescue? Yeah, yeah. We get it, mate. That's what my mum says when she takes me down the street.

That's what I say about you as well. My love to see it is from Brittany. She sent me, Brittany Poms. How do you pronounce Brittany in the USA? Brittany. Thank you. I love when you guys talk about America after this trip. Tony won't have to say that she hasn't been there anymore.

Bit of a backhanded compliment, I think. I'm sick of hearing about Tony saying she's never been to Hollywood, but now I have been to America. Loved it. Loved it. Has been to Hollywood. Survived it. Been to Trader Joe's in Hollywood.

Yes. Wow. Which is the real Hollywood experience. It is. And next week we're going to do a wrap-up of things we would bring to Australia from the US and vice versa. The final edition. You got some things to add?

Well, I'm thinking about the toilets now. I think I might bring the Australian version of the toilet here. Okay. Yeah. Harder to block. I've never blocked a toilet at home. Have you? Mate. Oh, yeah. Okay. Are. Harder to block. I've never blocked a toilet at home. Have you? Mate.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Are you joking? Write that in for next week. Us blocking toilets. Oh, I've got another random you'll have to see. Okay. When I got on the plane the other day, I walked in,

and you know how there's like when you get like a subway type sandwich, it's like cut in the middle? Oh, yeah. So I got on the plane and the guy's just sitting there holding one half in each hand, just bite it from the left, bite it from the right, and he just looked like the happiest guy I've ever seen in my life. And I was like, isn't this guy just loving himself sick?

Should we go get Subway? Yes. Yeah. This is a great way to end the week. Yeah. Fuck, you look good though. Oh, me? No, the guy double-fitting the Subway. Oh, I thought you said, fuck, you look good. I was like, oh, thanks. No, you look good though. Oh, me? No, the guy double-fitting in some way.

Oh, I thought you said, fuck, you look good. I was like, oh, thanks. No, you do look good too. Okay. Love you. Love you, bye.