Toni and Ryan - Falling over at the pub

Episode Date: May 21, 2024

This might be my favourite spelling error of Ryan's of all time! Love ya xoCheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. We are calling Sarah, who's here in Melbourne. We should have just gotten her to come in. All the way from Croydon North. Where's that? Kind of out near me a little bit. Country? Nah, eastern suburbs.

Nah, that's me. Oh, it's getting out there. Hello. Sarah! How you doing? Hello! I'm well. Yourself? Yeah, we're very good. What have we caught you doing this morning, Sarah, in our neck of the woods?

Yes, I am. You've caught me in a moment of tarp-ception, actually. What do you mean? I was just listening to the pod as I'm walking in the door. There you go. Imagine if we just cut in. Yeah. Like that was a feature we'd somehow employ.

Yeah, so I was sucking the IKEA guy's dick and then, oh, hi, Sarah, how you doing? Well, I didn't suck the IKEA guy's dick. That is defamation. That is defamation. Sarah, just quickly, Tony has asked if you are also in the country like she is in Reservoir. Can I get you to tell me if you believe Croydon is country

and do you believe Reservoir is country? I don't think Reservoir is, no. Correct, correct. I mean, you go two seconds down the road here and there's literally horse paddocks one direction, so maybe I'm on like a brink. Horse paddocks and a boy band, how nice. I'm north of Bell Street, you guys.

That's country. Okay. Yeah, that's good local gear too. That is good local gear. Sarah, will you approve today's podcast? Absolutely. Fuck yeah. Hi, it's Sarah from Melbourne and I approve this podcast.

Welcome to the show. It's going to be a great day. However. Whoa. However. That's how all good days start. We can have a good one, aren't we? Nah, coming up. Admit that that was what that was.

Well, no, that's what it is because coming up, this is pretty cursed. Oh, no. And it started with what do we know about Wrexham? The football club or the place in Wales? Yeah, nothing but good news. All good news. Until now. Oh, no.

And I think with the football club. What has Ryan Reynolds done? Yeah, with the football club and Ryan Reynolds and everything's all good, I was like, what can't Wrexham do? Back-to-back. Promotions. Promotions. Fuck, I couldn't remember the word.

Yeah. But, yeah. They're good, aren't they? We'll go through. Are you watching the new season? No, I've got to catch up. It's good. Because I love it but I just haven't, yeah.

Do you know what the only thing about it is that like you're obviously watching it as it's coming out but you're like a football season behind? Yeah. So you kind of like it's like real life spoilers because you know that they've gotten promoted. So you kind of like even though they're still buying because the story's amazing but it's like, oh, well, I know that they like. Well, all the sport ones are leaving like the drive

to survive f and they're like is he gonna win you're like well he did he did yeah and like and he's not with them anymore because at the end of that race he fucking biffed off so coming out soon is the australian cricket team like doco oh i remember saying that about and it's from the ashes which was last june and i'm like how long does it take to edit and like about. And it's from The Ashes, which was last June. And I'm like, how long does it take to edit? And, like, I get that it's hard. And it's also not just what you see in the news. Like, there's all the, it's like watching them in their, like, you know, getting hyped up at training and stuff like that.

So it's like. But so long as it lasts. Well, it's more just that you go, oh, I know what you're building to. Yeah. Like, I know what the, like, antithesis of this thing is going to be because I've already, it doesn't stop me watching it, but it is like you are kind of like they're so in it. You go, good news is coming.

Or they're really pumped and you go, oh. Don't get too excited, boys. You don't win. Or when it cuts to someone who goes, I know this is definitely going to work. And you're like, oh. You're like, oh, okay. Yeah. Yeah.

So that's my only, the only downside I reckon about watching shows like that. Yep, yep. Anyway, we'll get to Wrexham. Okay. It's actually not about the football club. Yeah, no, I believe you. I believe that it's got nothing to do with that. Yeah.

It's not like me to cling on to one detail. Self-burn, nice. Too soon also, yeah. It's a bit too close to the source. What? What? What? Oh, we're just making things up? Sounds like you.

What have you taught your child that was cute at first but is now really annoying? Oh, right. I taught my daughter, Mabel, how to cheers cheers so every time she has a sip here we go there we go cheers yeah and it's so fucking cute and kids love it i like they just get so excited about the community of a cheers yeah and she's got a little bottle and then when she wants to drink she'll like look at her mom look at her dad and like yeah hold up and cheers and it's so cute and the thing about kids cheesinging though is that they just fucking.

Yeah, they're all over the place. You know, so if you've got like a hot tea like what we just did or it's a bit unruly. Yeah, yeah, and it's just so cute and beautiful until it's fucking not. Now she won't drink unless she's cheersed. And if dad doesn't have a drink, she's on a fucking hunger hydration strike and will refuse to consume any liquid until it cheers. Because she's like, I haven't had a cheers.

I haven't had a cheers. So I'll have to like, I'll go here. Can you cheers with your phone or your hand or something? No, she doesn't fall for that. No, she doesn't fall for that. And so I'll be like, oh, here's your water. And she's like, holds the drink up. And I'm like, fuck.

So I'll have to go into the kitchen, like pour myself a glass of water, come back just to cheers it and then she'll drink her thing. Yeah. The other night she eats something and she like chokes. Oh, my God. And she starts coughing. Like she hasn't chewed it enough or whatever. Yeah.

And she's like, oh, my God, oh, my God. Here, drink this. And then she just holds it up to cheers. And I'm like, you fucking idiot. Yeah, she's like choking to death. I'm like, drink the water. then she just holds it up to cheers. And I'm like, you fucking idiot. Yeah, she's like choking to death. I'm like, drink the water. And she's like, cheers. And I'm like, so then I had to run and like get a juice and come back.

Oh, didn't just go for the water out of the tap? Nah. You go, oh, God. She's got a minute in her. A little something sweet. A little something sweet. You're making a coffee. You're grinding the beans.

Hang on, sweetheart. Hang on, sweetheart. Hang on, sweetheart. I've got to tamp the beans down. If my daughter's going to die in front of me, I want to do it with a nice bit of citric. I actually agree. Yeah. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. They say that parenting like you lose yourself and you've got to hold on to those parts. Imagine your child dying and you're drinking plain water. Yeah, from the tap. Well, not even cold. Gross. Yeah, no, no, no.

Get yourself a nice juice. Yeah. There's this orange juice down the road and they do like a mandarin juice now. Oh. Yeah. Now, that's something you can die for. Delicious. I love mandarins.

Me too. Do you know what I like? Eating mandarins. Yes. What's better than eating a mandarin? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to say it. Eating a mandarin. Yes. What's better than eating a mandarin? Yeah. Yeah. I'm not going to say it.

Eating a mandarin. Yeah. I like eating a mandarin, but they're a high admin fruit to enjoy. They are. They're picky. You've got to get the pith off. You've got to get – yeah, yeah, yeah. Little stringy bits.

So I'm discussing – That's what the pith is. So I'm – oh, that's nice. Yeah. Oh, you've got to get the pith off. Yeah, and all the stringy bits. So I've done this whole conversation with maids. I'm like, and now you may breathe.

Oh, yeah. Okay. Yeah. You you're like have you seen that mandarin but it's i'm like the cheersing is cute but like it just i'm sort of regretting teaching her cheers no but it is oh it's a good party trick though but when it's a great party trick though. But when it's not. A great party trick. I'm like, hey, guys, watch this. Yeah, like that's adorable. We were at the pub a few weeks ago and Dad had a beer and then Mabel had a drink and we like cheered at the pub

and everyone was like. How was your gluten free after that? I wasn't, you know, I was just like, today's Dad's day so he can have a beer and he'll pay the consequences. Yeah, and I'll just deal with it. Let's get home though. Let's get home, though. Let's get home. Just a quick one.

Yeah. But no, it was great. It was great. And it is a great party trick, but I am sort of regretting it. Yeah. Also, I need to discuss something about Mabel being in the pub. So she fell over in the pub because she's only just started to walk. Because she was wasted.

Yeah, Vans or we all make that joke because it's hilarious. Or if you do many milks, mates, you know, like classic. Is it also fair to say that when we just turned drinking age and you're still sort of learning your body and how much you can have and really giving it a crack when you're 18 or 19 or whatever. 18 or 19, what a yarn. Yeah. But like everyone's probably once fallen over.

Is that fair to say? I fall over all the yarn. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. But like everyone's probably once fallen over. Oh. Is that fair to say? I fall over all the time. Yeah. Yeah, actually this is on the record. Yeah, yeah. I fall over a lot. Yeah.

So I guess what I'm getting at is when you're 18 or 19 and you fall over in a pub, you're like, oh, yeah, young kid, buddy idiot. Yeah. When a baby falls over in a pub, you go, oh, how funny. She's not doing much. But what about like if they're 13? Oh. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Or if an old person, heaven forbid, has a fall, you go, oh, poor old pet. But like... Poor old pet. But if a 40-year-old falls over in a pub, you're like, mate, where are you at? Yeah, you go, oh, mate. Yeah, like where's your life? Is this where we're at?

You should know your limits now. You should know that. Yeah. So I'm just trying to like. God, we're just assholes, aren't we? Yeah. But I'm picturing there's this graph, a curve that kind of goes up and down.

Up and down. Up and down of like when it's okay to fall over in a pub. Yeah. Because like I said, a 14-year-old, that's like, oh, geez, where are his parents? Yeah. But literally like I'll be a 14-year-old, that's like, oh, jeez, where are his parents? Yeah. But literally like I'll be out with friends and I'll have driven and I'll fall over.

I've seen you fall out of many taxis. And into a taxi. And into a taxi. Into a taxi, not into the side of a taxi. And I'll be out with friends and I'll have driven. So I'll literally have had zero, maybe a lemon lime and bitters. That'll be my maximum. Yep.

And I'll fall over and people go, oh, like hope someone's taken her home. I'm like, I'm actually driving everyone else. I'm actually the designated driver. We'll go through these in coming weeks because there's thousands to go through. But I did mention to the Tafas in the Facebook group what's something that your kid did that was cute as fuck to start with and is now annoying as fuck? Do you know what I reckon people would also have of like,

what did you train your pet to do? Like you thought it would be so funny if every time your sister came over that your bird said something to her and now it does it all the time and it's like, you know what I mean? Like you thought these things would be so hilarious now tony wouldn't appreciate this but chantelle baker says don't ever laugh at their jokes the moment you do they'll repeat that same joke 50 000 times oh that's what's happened to me yeah in my life people started laughing and i went people like this yeah yeah and now here we are yeah uh laura hi laura my sister taught my four-year-old

to whenever he hears something he doesn't like he does little finger guns and goes lap lap he walked into the kitchen where all the adults were and we all pissed ourselves laughing when he did it this one time. It was so funny. He was four years old then. He's now 12. Oh, no, that's your fault. And still does it daily.

Oh, no. Laura says, it's really lost its appeal. You're joking. You're kidding me. You're joking. You're kidding me. You're joking. That got old. He goes, son, that's really got a bit old. And what does he do?

Blah, blah, blah. Except now it's blah, blah. He's 40. It's his wedding day. I do. Blah, blah. Hi, it's Sarah from Melbourne and you're listening to Tony and Ryan We've just had a breakthrough

during that break of the podcast. If a dog had a moustache, where would it go? Because the little wet nose goes straight to the mouth. There's no in-between bit. Okay, would the moustache go like here? No, no, no. On the top of the nose? On the bridge of the nose, no.

No, no, no, no, no. No, that's called a unibrow. That's where we go. Dogs can't have moustaches. On the bridge of the nose. No, no, no, no, no, no. No, that's called a unibrow. That's really good. Dogs can't have moustaches. That is so sad. So that's why when cats have them, they look so distinguished. You know when a cat's got like a little.

Like puss in boots? The little. Does that have a little moustache? It's like a little goatee or a little something. Oh, okay. You just went to Shrek recently. Yeah, I'm back on Shrek. Anyway, I would love to hear people's opinions on where a dog's moustache would go for that one.

Where does a dog's moustache go? Do the names. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Alice Lawrence, good on you, Alice. Rebecca Davies, Charles Lutzenheiser, JC Roars and Megan Monique. Thank you very, very much for being part of our Patreon.

Absolutely love to see it. There is no punchline to this story. It's just cooked. Oh, okay. Yeah, and I just think we just need to go through it piece by piece and kind of what the fuck were they thinking. Okay. The people of Wrexham.

Sorry, is this like a did a tarpa send this through? Yeah, so something happened around Easter time and it's taken that long to get from Wrexham to Tony and Ryan HQ here in Australia. Tarp Tower is a long way. Yeah, but I just, the more I look at this, the more I go, what the fuck? Oh, okay.

An Easter egg hunt for children in Wrexham has been cancelled after a social media backlash. Now, when you hear that, what do you think? What do you assume? Social media backlash. I guess I assume that maybe, I don't know, that were maybe a bit like discriminatory of who could participate or something.

Yeah. Like they had an age limit that people were like, well, that's not very fair. Like all kids should be able to do, I don't know. When I first saw that, I assumed it was like a kid shouldn't eat too much chocolate. Oh, I didn't even think of that. Or maybe like nuts in the chocolate and, you know,

that kind of like giving away food and anything food. It's just so risky now. Since COVID and then it's like, oh, you don't want to have anything that someone else has like prepared. Grubby hands and hidden in the grass, you know, Easter egg hunt. I assume. Snakes maybe. Snakes.

Is there snakes in Wrexham? Yes. Haven't you heard? There's no snakes in New Zealand. Isn't that insane? It's crazy. So during a summer when Bridget and I were at her parents' place, she's like, oh, we'll just walk through this long grass to the beach.

And I was like, ah, walk through the long grass in summer? I would not have thought so. And she's like, oh, we don't have snakes here. And I go, what? It's like. Then what murders you? But there's just no way that one hasn't slipped in. Do you know what I mean?

Swam across the Tasman. I just think it's like a crazy statement to be like, there are no snakes here. Like, that's just sounds to me like too general. Yeah. Yep. Like to just be like, no, we don't have that here. I'm like, we don't do that. What? We don't do that.

We ban the customs. Yeah. A snake rocks up and they go, no. A snake with a suitcase. And the snake has got a travel pillow, but it keeps slipping down. Because it doesn't have any shoulders. So it just keeps sliding down. It's going to pass sport. The travel pillow.

Don't tell it your secrets. Fucking snake. Sorry, Tony is fucking pissing in her own ear. The visual. They should make a movie about the trip. What would they call it? Was there a passage in that Samuel L. Jackson movie where they discuss the neck pillows. Was that like a part?

I haven't seen the full movie. I've just seen the trailer. I haven't seen it. Is there a neck pillow part of it? I haven't seen it. Is that why they get angry? Because that would drive you nuts. I'm so sorry.

You just let me know when you're ready to continue talking about Easter egg hunts in Wrexham. And we're talking about shoulderless snakes in New Zealand. Which is ironic because New Zealanders have the broader shoulders in the world. Have you seen Moana? Yeah, I have. Okay.

The Easter egg hunt was due to take place in the Rex. This is serious and not fun. So. Sorry. Okay. If you laugh about what I'm about to say. Oh, don't. It'll be really inappropriate.

Way to give me the guilt about fucking. It'll actually be really, because this is really not fun. Oh, okay. Oh, what are we talking about on our brain break podcast if it's not fun? I'm here for the snakes with the plane. Yeah. All right, well, I'm going to say this sentence.

Okay, I'm fine now. And you're going to look at me and you're not going to laugh because it's not funny. It's actually quite. Dead mum, dead mum, dead mum, dead mum, dead mum. Oh, that's a weird thing to say. Oh, no. The Easter egg hunt was due to take place in the Wrexham Cemetery.

What the fuck? Yeah. Dead mum, dead mum, dead mum. Lots of them. Well, may they rest in peace. Peace. Peace. Well, may they rest in peace. Peace.

When they said to the snake, what are you, what did they say? Snake? I'm a snake. I'm a slippery snake. The Wrexham Cemetery said it was a wonderful idea to get young people involved and interested in local genealogy. Oh. to get young people involved and interested in local genealogy. Okay, so now that you've read out the reason why the Wrexham Cemetery thought it was a good idea about like running around looking at the names,

that's fucking strange. Yep. But so where my mum is, she- Heaven. Yes, above us looking down on yonder but where she is is actually like a big beautiful park yeah like it's it's stunning and um a lot of people have their like family photos down there and stuff because it's like a beautiful park. There's always lots of kangaroos there. There's lots of wildlife, really beautiful native. So it's not just a cemetery? But like no.

So when you picture. A beautiful space that has a cemetery in it. No, so it is a cemetery. Okay. But it's like there's big parts of it that are just big lawns where the kangaroos are because it's out of the city. Yep. But I think when you picture a cemetery,

you picture like one from The Simpsons where it's like dark, scary tombstones and stuff like that. But they don't really, well, that one doesn't look like that. So I'm like, oh, the fact that it's like a memorial park but it is, you know, maybe that would be fine. But the fact that they were like, and also it's Wrexham, so I'm kind of like imagining that maybe it's a bit more of a spooky one. They also said the idea was to promote the preservation, care,

and improvement of the Wrexham Cemetery as a place of historical value and interest and as a community green space for public benefit. Don't put that onto kids. Like that's actually not like little kids looking for easter eggs actually if i went to visit my mom and there were grubby little kids running around trying to find chocolate and like running all over the dead people yeah i'd actually feel more disrespected by that than i like then i'd be like oh at least people are playing here like that's just not how i feel about it that's not what I want in a cemetery.

No. And also when you go there to like pay your respects, it's not really you don't want like people running. It's not a joyful time. It's a time to reflect and remember. Yeah, like you can have a nice time there, but I don't think it's really the right move. And also because Easter is like, you know,

we're not talking about like religious Easter. We're talking about like commercial Easter. Yeah, they're different Easters. Same time, same spelling. But it's not the same theme. It's really not. Do you want to know a fun fact about Altham? Yes.

There's the Altham Cemetery. I drive past it when I come to your house. Yeah, yeah. So the road just before it is called Metairie Road. Yep. It used to be called Cemetery Road, but the locals were just like, it's just too grim. I don't want to live on Cemetery Road.

I totally agree. So they physically cut the SE off to turn it to Metairie, like on the sign. Yeah. And then like the council would come and replace it and then they would cut their S and E off. And this like went back and forth for years and years and years. And then they just went, fine, it's called Metri Road.

Sorry, you just said that they would cut the S and the E off and it is obviously CE. Sorry, I just couldn't let that go. I'm so sorry. Sorry. Sorry. People have died sorry. Sorry. Sorry. People have died. Cemetery.

Cemetery. Do you know what might have been a nice, maybe calling it like memory road? Great. Because it's like, you know. But you can't cut. No, you can't cut the S and the E off that and make it memory. You're right. I actually agree.

I personally wouldn't buy a house on Cemetery Road. Yeah. That sounds like you're asking for trouble. Yeah. Like, do you want a ghost? Do you want a ghost? Like, oh, my God, it's so crazy. I think we've got a ghost.

Where do you live? One Cemetery Road. Like, oh, well, you know, that's where the ghosts live. If I was Casper and I was looking for a new place. A hundred percent. Yeah. Because it's your first day in the afterlife I was Casper and I was looking for a new place. A hundred percent. Yeah. Because it's your first day in the afterlife. You're just going to go across the road.

Yeah. Do you know what I mean? It's like a halfway house. Actually, if you were thinking about coming back, maybe, you know, you're just going there. Yeah. Baby steps. That is crazy.

Yeah. So I can kind of see. So this is what I'm imagining in Wrexham, right? There's like a big, beautiful park. Yeah. And there's like green spaces, there's open airs, there's conservation areas and there's a cemetery bit. And they're having like the Easter egg hunt,

not on the tombstones, but like somewhere else. Yeah. But you just see the headline and you just go, nah. I just think when you talk about like the conservation and like all of that of this space, I just don't think that that's kids' responsibility. Like I feel like if you want to do something and you do like a clean-up day and it's, you know, maybe teenagers

or adults that are there kind of, you know, cleaning up people's grave areas because there's actually a lot of people that don't get visitors. Yeah. When you go and see your mum, do you like give it a little sweep and a little dust and put the flowers down and stuff? Yeah, and so you're allowed, there's like at the one that she's at, you're allowed like one piece of poly pipe in the ground next to it.

So if you put like fake flowers, you're allowed that amount because you can't just leave a million things because it blows away and then it's like littery. Yeah, right. And then they have like people that go around and like pick up the dead flowers. Yeah. Like if you leave fresh flowers, they go around and collect them

and keep it looking nice and stuff. So they've got people that work there or maybe volunteers that do that. And is there someone to mow the lawn? Yeah. Because you can't have long grass because. No, well, they've all gone on holiday, fucked up to New Zealand. Oh, of course. Mind your step.

Mind your step. What do you love to see, Tony Lodge? Well, it sounds sad to go from that to this, but my love to see it is me being right because. Oh, please. Because on this podcast before, well, I mentioned it and everyone took the piss out of me, but I mentioned about how my boyfriend Torbs can't wear a watch. No.

Because he's got too much magnet in him or something is what I said, which I understand doesn't really sound that foolproof. Is magnet his side boyfriend? Too much magnet in him. That's really funny. No, it's not. But in the Facebook group a little while ago, someone posted like, if you had a superpower, what would it be? And Polly Ivanova commented and said- Sounds like a real name. Yeah, I know, but stay with me. So Polly commented and said, I actually have a very

annoying superpower that Tony has mentioned before. It's called a high electromagnetic frequency. The doctors and radiologists figured it out when I had my first MRI because it kept coming out blurry even though I was sedated. And they were like, there's something like, she keeps moving, let's sedate

her. Too much magnets. And then when she was sedated, it was still the same. Basically, watches speed up or go backwards, and the glass cracks on watches, on poly-art, right? I drain batteries and demagnetise credit cards if they're in my hands for too long, and I can't go near a radio because it squeals. And it's 2024. Who would go near a radio?

So you're not near a radio anyway. DAB+. Do you know what I'm saying? But, like, you can't go near a radio like those old – Do you know what the secret sound is? That was good actually. Hello, is it a bitch screaming? For $20,000.

An old school computer monitors would like scramble and go funny after a few days. And they actually had on the MRI, they had a demagnetized button and she thought it was really odd until they explained it. Like the doctors explained, like they were like, is there anything else strange that kind of happens to you? And she was like, oh, actually like all these things. And they're like, yeah, like that's what you've got.

And she said that she'd never heard of anybody else that had it until I mentioned that Torbs couldn't wear a watch. And his isn't to that level. Like he's, from what I know, like he's only experienced like the watch thing. Yeah. And does she experiment on the weekend with like substances and stuff? No.

But this is like. Like a little something in your cigarette, you know. But I think the thing about the old school radio and computers and stuff that was obviously when she was like a kid yeah so that's not like oh like this one time i was wasted and something happened that's like i thought that was because i've never heard it either and to be honest i after i said it to you and you're like that's not real i was like, maybe it's not fucking real yet. I gaslit you.

Which you do a lot. I challenged your reality. Yes, you did. Anyway, but to hear somebody else have it, I think that is crazy and I fucking love to see that. Do you love to see that or do you love to see that you're right? Heaven forbid you would make Polyamorous a story about you. No, but I think that Polyamorous made it about me because,

Tony's mentioned this before in the podcast called Tony and Ryan, so, I mean, everything automatically is about me. And I love to see that. Actually, my love to see it is that me, that I'm everywhere. Tony, take a sip of your coffee because shit's about to get real. This is lovely, by the way. It's just a little Nespresso jobby, but it's good. Because my love to see it, it has a built-in quiz.

A quiz? Yeah. So that's what I mean. Are you ready? Yeah, I'm ready. Do I have a buzzer or use my name? No, no. Tony!

Yeah? Use my name. Oh, sound effects. My love to see it is the name Frederick. Frederick. Yeah, nice. Because it has seven names within that one name. Tony, I'm passing you the spelling.

Can you name them in 15 seconds starting now? Fred, Derek, Rick. Fred, Derek, Rick. Seven, eight. Red, Dick, Freddie. Am I doing nicknames based off them? Three, two, one. Or Ricky.

Red. Has to be direct spelling. Oh, hang on. But then the stipulations weren't clear. Fred. Yeah. Ed. Oh, I didn't get Ed.

Red. I said Red. I think Derek was in there. I said Red. I think Derek was in there. Did you say Red? Rick? Maybe it's different. There's a difference. Rick.

Because this is not how you would spell Frederick. Oh, maybe that's why I fucked it up. Yeah. Because that's why I added Derek because that's not how you would spell. Yeah, because Derek's in there. But hang on. If someone sent you this story and then how did you get this wrong? Yeah, but I've typed that. Why didn't you just copy

and paste their name? I just typed Frederick and apparently I fucked it up. I think you missed it E, so maybe you could have Eric in there. Yeah, so I said Eric and I said Derek as well. Yeah. But it's not written but yes. It's not written here because Ryan fucked it up. I thought I was helping with giving

you the thing so you could look at it. Yeah. I'm not a good quiz master. No, no, no, I see where you Ryan fucked it up. I thought I was helping with giving you the things you could look at it. Yep. I'm not a good quiz master. No, no, no. I see where you were going with that. Actually, how many quiz keeper Sophie has written down what I got? I believe I've got them all. You said Fred, Derek, Rick, Red, Dick, Freddie, and Ricky.

So I added a few nicknames, even though I couldn't do a nickname. But I think I got pretty close. You guys did pretty good. But I didn't get Ed. Yeah. And I didn't get. Red. No, I said Red.

I don't think you got Eric. Eric. Oh, did I not say Eric? Yeah, but that's because I fucked the spelling. Oh, because, yeah. I fucked it up. No, but it was still fun. Well, let's just instead focus on snakes with neck pillows

and forget about my quiz. Oh. And if you know someone, Frederick, tell them that I was the... I think you did a great job. I think you did such a good job. And it's made me so happy that you're here today and not in the S-E-M-E-T-E-R-Y. The semenic.

The cemetery with an S-E. The semen tree. When I'm finished, I would love to be in the semen tree is about when i'm finished i would love to be in the semen tree mate when you die i'll do whatever you want and i want to be semen tree like as in like whatever you want yeah whatever your wishes are but like like do you know what you actually would want i mean i know that people probably change their mind a lot through their life, whether they would like to be cremated or buried or whatever. Well, first of all, I want my Google history cleared. Yep, I can do that.

I would like... Now that we're best friends, am I the guy that has to do this? No, so I know we've talked about this. In my will, I've allocated a large sum of money to my friend Liam McIntyre to throw a party in my honour. Yep, and we've talked about this on the pod, yep. Oh, have we? Yeah.

Oh, great. Yeah, yeah, cool, cool, cool. If I am buried, I want to be buried about one centimetre deep with a handle on the inside of the coffin. No, just a handle so I can just open up and go on. All good. Yeah. I'll buy that house.

One cemetery road. Sold. Yeah. One cemetery road. No, cremated, cremated. Yeah. Yeah. Just so you definitely know. Definitely dead. Because I don't want No, cremated. Cremated. Yeah. Yeah. Just so you definitely know.

Definitely dead. Because I don't want, because of the fear of waking up dead. Yeah. Waking up dead. Yeah. I mean, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What about you?

I really, I love the idea of those tree pods you can do. Tree pods? So your ashes get put into like a big tree pod thing and then a tree grows. Oh, that's nice. Which I really like the idea of. Not in a forestry area though. I don't, I guess you could do it in a cemetery area. Or maybe

like if you... I'll water your tree. That's actually really nice. Because I'm supposed to water the plants in the office and I don't. We know, mate. Sophie's been doing it. I noticed Sophie do it the other day. Sophie texted me and said, do you mind if I water the plants? And I said, oh,

do I mind if you do a job I hate doing? Yeah, that would be awesome. Anyway, love you so much. We're going. We'll chat to you tomorrow. Bye. Bye. Love you. Bye. Say hi to the cemetery.