Toni and Ryan - Famous Last Words

Episode Date: June 17, 2025

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What's better than a well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over deliver. This episode is sponsored by Audible and if you're into psychological thrillers, then listen up, this is for you.

Oh, it is. Sacrilege Curse of the M'Biwi is the new Audible original and it's bone chilling. Bone chilling. Bone chilling. It stars Caleb McLaughlin, you know, Lucas from Strange Things. Oh. And it follows the story of the Wallace family

whose trip to a luxury game reserve in Zimbabwe quickly unravels. He unintentionally desecrates sacred ground and unleashes a supernatural force called the M'Biwi, a vengeful spirit born from centuries of colonial oppression. We're talking possessed animals, shape-shifting horrors, a vengeful spirit born from centuries of colonial oppression. We're talking possessed animals. Shapeshifting horrors.

Vengeful spirit rooted in generations of colonial trauma. Now Daschen, that's Caleb's character. He has to face this curse and his own past to save what remains of his family. It's written and directed by visionary creator Nyasha Hatendi and presented in spectacular Dolby Atmos. Think pulse-pounding suspense with powerful explorations of identity and privilege. Listen to Sacrilege, curse of the Mbuie now. Go to audible.ca slash sacrilege. That's S-A-C-R-I-L-E-G-E. Hello, welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. I'm Tony, this is Ryan, and we never start an episode

of our podcast without a TARPA approval. Yeah, but TARPA is a Tony and Ryan podcast. I'm Tony. This is Ryan. And we never start an episode of our podcast without a TAPA approval. Yep. A TAPA is a Tony and Ryan podcast. Errr. And so we've got AJ who formerly from Darwin, now in Canberra. Bit of a change. Yeah. Now, AJ, what has your son just discovered in Balconon in Canberra, which is one of my favourite monuments? Oh.

Well, we were driving along and my son said, Hey, mom, look, there's the notorious penis owl. And I turned around and said, How do you know that it's a notorious penis owl? And he shared that granddad told me that. Oh, thanks, granddad. What's this penis owl? Well, it's generational knowledge for my son. Generational knowledge. Sharing stories. Well, that's in real time, Tony. If I type in Belle, Conan, Al into Google, now it's supposed to just be a statue of an owl.

Have a look at that girthy looking thing. Oh my shit. So why do you think it's called? Yeah. If you had to guess, Tony Lodge. I'm seeing it in real time. It's weird that that owl has two eyes. I'll be honest.

That's not what I expected at all. Yeah. It's quite a thick owl. If I'm honest. A thick owl. It is on Wikipedia. It's called the big powerful owl. I'd call it a girthy owl.

Yeah. If anything. All right. Hey, look, you've shared that with us. Granddad shared that with your son. I mean, I feel like we're family. Yeah, we're family. We're family. Everyone's a winner.

Everyone's a winner. Will you approve today's podcast? I would love to. Yeah. Hey, it's AJ in Canberra and I approve this podcast. Happy hump day. Hello. Now a few weeks ago. That's camel for those that don't speak Mandarin. Yeah. We flew home from the- I'd love a Mandarin. Do you want one? Do we have some?

Yeah. I'd love one. Yeah, right now? Mandy me, baby. Hang on, throw it from the fridge, Charles. Don't hit that camera. And Tony will catch it with that one hand. She's got raised up.

I reckon don't throw it from the fridge. I can throw it from the fridge. If you catch it, we'll all have a Mandarin. If you drop it, shame. Oh! Oh! Oh! Oh!

Oh! That was a perfect throw from Charles. And it went- You said I couldn't move my arm. What? Ah. Oh, didn't you? I thought you said I could move my arm.

It was a perfect throw. It seemingly went straight through Tony's hand. It went over. He touched my hand. Is it seemingly went straight through Tony's hand Is it down here somewhere? Is it in the cactus? It'll be cactus kind of did a disappearing man Look at that. It's really dusty down there. Okay, do you want to eat your mandarin? It smells so good. It smells like the dust under the cupboard.

No, it smells yummy. It does smell good. Okay. So we can't gatch or throw. That's good to know. When we flew from Canada, Toronto, to LA, Tony goes, It's just been such a perfect trip. This has been such a perfect trip.

Nothing's gone wrong. How wonderful. And even in the moment I was on a plane, like this was the worst time. And I said, why would you say that? Yeah. And I was on a plane, like it was the worst time to say that. And I said, why would you say that? Yeah. How did everything go? Everything was fine. Yeah. Everything was fine.

But. Well, then I got my period and we had a bit of a stress time. That's OK. Because, and I'm not a scientist, but you, that shouldn't happen, right, for yourself? That shouldn't happen. Oh, no, because when you say I go it's like well you know. No well I mean getting your period is bad enough news at any time. Yeah.

Um but no I because I've got an IED I haven't had my period for like two or three years. Sorry. I'm gonna take that mandarin. I'm playing with the mandarin. Um don't put it on the floor. Um I'm gonna eat that. Anyway and then so. See? Are you listening? Yeah. You're like, God, something really terrible happened to you. Let's play with this Mandarin. I was taking away from, because we were both doing the same thing.

That now it's gone. But I stopped doing it first. Oh, I see. Which is better. Yeah. Yeah. Nah, but then we were kind of like, oh, that is definitely because you said that on the plane.

That's why this happened. Yeah. Everything was fine. Great. But there was just a bit of a hairy moment. Yeah. And we were like, oh, that wasn't ideal. And Ryan was like, you did this to us. Yeah. Some tarpers have sent in their famous last word stories.

And I think I'm just smug about it because don't say stuff like that. You're setting yourself up, and you'll hear it. And I think you'll have more fun if you just get on my side. No, but I think I am, but also I think that there's a part of it for me where I'm like, yeah, but like, I'm trying to be positive. I'm like, God, hasn't this been awesome?

And then that's when it doesn't. But you think you're doing the right thing. Emma, I had a car full of mates, the engine warming up, and I was mid-speech about how I'd never ever put a scratch on my car. Oh. Then I reversed straight into the front fence, still mid-speech, like mid-sentence.

You're like, God, yeah, like I've had this car for ages, haven't had any problems with it. Haven't had a single, oh. Did you say warming up the car? Yeah. What's that? It's for poor people who have old crap cars. Oh, it's like an old car thing.

Yeah, although some even I have idea. I don't know what that means yet. Because you're rich. No, I don't think it's definitely like an older car thing. But I think rich comments aside, if older car thing, but rich comments aside, if you have like a classic car, Yeah. That you would kind of like let that warm up.

But I think. Or if you have like a high performance car, as in like, like a fucking XR8 or something, whatever, that would probably need to be warmed up because it's like delicate things going on in there. Yeah, well, I just remember when I was- I don't know. I don't think it's a poor thing. I think it's like a- No, in there. Yeah, well, I just remember when I was- I don't know. I don't think it's a poor thing.

I think it's like a- No, when we turned 18 and it could have just been a couple of coincidences, but like a couple of mates had their old dodgy grandpa's old car. Sure. And it was always like, oh, just give her a minute boys.

Like, you know. Oh yeah, I've never heard that. And now the gag was like- Your old shit car or whatever. Yeah. Yeah, right. Chuck Givutti said, if you bought a car in the last 20 to 25 years then you don't need to do that. Rich.

No, so it's like cars have just come beyond that now. Oh so your car is post 2002. Yeah sorry. Sorry I rubbed my welt in your face. I have to warm up. Yeah. Hey, those seat warmers though. Yeah. I reckon it comes back around though. It gets to a point where there's like in five years warming up, the car will be like for a lush classics only. But I also think that I reckon a newer car, like a super high performance car, I reckon that probably needs it as well.

Alicia, our house was chaos. Two massive dogs, a four year old. And I just said how lucky we were that the giant water bowl for the dog had never been knocked over. Not five seconds later, the dog went to step next to it, hit the corner of it, sent the bowl flying waters everywhere. And my husband says,

sorry, were you saying something? Oh, what is it that attracts that? Like truly, I would love to know what the science is behind that. Lily from North Fitzroy. Lilliana. Midway through our Italy trip, I was proudly telling my boyfriend Blake how easy all the train travel had been thanks to my perfect planning Turns out I booked the train for the wrong day lost our seats paid double and it was late to our next leg of the trip

Shouldn't have said anything It's the worst when you're traveling as well because I think your tensions already high Yeah, I think I probably said something along the same lines just before I lost our passports in Japan. So that is the most untony thing I've ever heard in my life. I know. It really does not suit my brand. Tony left the lost the like you thought they're in your pocket and you're like, oh fuck it. Well, yeah. I just like put them down, like put all my stuff down to put my coat on at the train, like at the platform. And then like the train was, came and was like about to leave and we were like, oh, and we were, yeah,

we were backpacking at the time. So we just had heaps of stuff in our hands and whatever. And I thought that I'd put it all back in. And it was two hours later, we get to the next, cause we were like traveling by like bullet train to the next like town. So like two hours later, we get to the next, cause we were like traveling by like bullet train to the next like town. So like two hours later, I like look in my bag and I'm like, hey, like where are the passports?

I was like, you've got them. And I was like, ha ha, nah, but seriously. And he's like, nah, I don't have them. I'm like ripping stuff out of my bag. And I was like, I don't have them. Like full punny, like falling in the train station. How long did that rattle you for? Cause that would send anyone for a while.

I think I still am like, now. 10 years, I thought you were gonna go, oh, a couple of days. Oh no, like, as in, I don't think about it all the time, but now whenever I'm traveling, I like check for my passport. Like six, like I'll be in the airport and I'll just like keep just checking my bag,

just in case. How'd you go during PE class like phys ed in high school? Oh my god I hated it. Yeah but did you ever like try to get out of it or like just try to you know like minimize you? Or like I would get my mum to like write a note a lot. So Tarpra Olivia they were doing like softball and she's like I'm not a sports person there's fucking balls flying at me I don't want to do it. I'm not into this. Yeah I don't want to do it and she said and she's like I'm not a sports person. There's fucking balls flying at me I don't want to do it. I'm not into this. Yeah, I don't want to do it and she said to the teacher I just I'm genuinely scared of hurting myself. I don't want to do it. Yeah, this isn't my area

Send me to drama class. Send me to art class. It's not my area. Happy foyer and the phys ed teacher goes What's the worst that could happen? Sports teachers are c******. I like blanket rule. They all f****** suck. Every sports teacher I've ever had was a f****** bitch. They all were awful. And the thing is, is that they're like,

oh, what it's cause you're a little fatty. I'm like, no, it's cause I don't want to f****** run around in the sun. Did they say, is it because you're a little fat? You just know that that's what they're like. They're just such assholes. Yeah, that's what I mean. Oh, Mr. I don't want to play it.

And he goes, is it because you're a little fat? But like, I write when it comes to sport. Okay, sorry. Now I'll give you a second. I'll give you a second. I'll give you a second. Could you imagine? Totally!

But that's like the energy they give it. They go like, what's the fucking excuse this time? You know? But surely, like if I was a PE teacher and there's 20 kids in the class and five of them can't be fucked, I'd be like, hey, mate, I'm just at work. You're just at school.

Sit there and like, don't cause a ruckus and when the 15 of us will play and we all go home with what we want. Or you go, well, you're just at school. Sit there and like don't cause a ruckus. And when the 15 of us will play and we all go home with what we want. Or you go, well, we're all playing soccer. Why don't you guys just like walk around the oval? Like if the idea is that you're outside, you get some fresh air or whatever. Get some air. My thing was, is that I was like, I don't want to play fucking softball or fucking whatever.

But like if we were playing volleyball, love it. If we were going swimming in the dam, love it. If we were doing dance, like, it's not about the physical activity. It's just that like, fuck you for judging me for my ability to do- For being a little fatty. For my ability to run around an oval

when like that's just not what I wanna do. Like literally, go fuck yourself. Okay. And I say that to them. I've fucking, I have thought about like emailing my old school and being like, can you pass this on to them? This is damaging for children. Because it fucking is. Tony was in the Rolling Stone Courier last week. You should have put that in. Anything you'd like to say to people back in Rollystone? Yeah. Fuck PE teachers. Tell every sports teacher to fuck off.

If we do, when we eventually do a movie, The Tony and Ryan, like- When Larry plays me. Yeah, and, well, what do they call them? Like a biopic. Yeah. There'll be, I don't know if it'll, you know how there's always that one scene at the start,

like back to the childhood? Yeah, can I play the sports? Yeah, and who would play your like little Tony Cuz you're a little fatty those crouched down a little bit I'll do it Olivia Yeah, he goes so you little fatty Olivia I'll just crouch down a little bit. I'll do it. Olivia. Hi, Olivia. Yeah, the softball. Yeah, he goes, oh, you little fatty, Olivia. No!

What's the worst that could happen? I tripped over my own foot on the way to first base, fell to the ground and broke my wrist. Oh, Olivia. Do you know what's great about a broken bone though? No sport for fucking nuts. Oh, hang on, what else is great about it? Think about high school.

Yep. Take you back into that energy. it? Think about high school. Yep. Take you back into that energy. Can't write anything. Yeah. So you can't do a test. I think this is more of a silver lining. People can sign your cast. Yes.

Olivia said, I ended up cast for weeks, which was actually kind of cool. Oh yeah, you're the cool kid if you've got a cast on. 100%. Who started signing casts? I don't know, but they deserve a pay rise. Yeah, same. Cause what an iconic thing to decide.

Yeah. Cause imagine if like people just started- Who was the first person that did it? Yeah. Cause like, that's pretty fucking dumb. Do you reckon that they like dig up all the mummies and it's like, see you next year. Yeah. Like on their bandages. Have a great summer.

Like, tell your boyfriend I think he's hot! Could you imagine if you came into work one day with a... It's just the massive S, like the stussy Superman S. Imagine if you rocked up... You are so lucky Sophie that your name starts with an S. Did you do that S all the time? Of course. That's baller. I used to have to write my full name on stuff so I could do it cause my middle name has an S in it.

So I would have to write like Tony Louise Lodge on everything to get an S away. Yeah. That's awesome. Why didn't you say if you were labeling stuff like this is Tony's. Yeah. Okay. Think of all the-

You said I've done a three banger name. Yeah. You've triple barred yourself. Yeah, I have. I'm like Sarah Jessica Parker. Fuck that's heaps of S's. That is a lot-banger name. Yeah, you triple-bowered yourself. Yeah, I have. I'm like, Sarah Jessica Parker. Fuck, that's heapsaces. That is a lot. Like you slut. Slut.

Slut. Hey, it's AJ in Canberra, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. What's better than a well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue? A well-marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue that was carefully selected by an Instacart shopper and delivered to your door. A well marbled ribeye you ordered without even leaving the kiddie pool. Whatever groceries your summer calls for, Instacart has you covered. Download the Instacart app and enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees, exclusions, and terms apply. Instacart, groceries that over-deliver. ["The Daily Show Theme"]

A massive shout out to all of our champion tarpas, but just a couple in particular today. And I really obviously wish that I had known that we were going to talk about the Stuzziers. I would have picked only people with S names, but here we are. Rebecca Haywood. Sorry, you didn't have an S in your name. Jay Face with a C. Wouldn't it be with a J?

Sorry. Yeah. Jackie Connor. Good're gonna be with a J. That's it. Sorry. Yeah. Jackie Connor. Jackie. Olivia. Megan Simmons.

Was it that Olivia with the broken wrist? Maybe. Hope that you healed up. Adrian Farias. Nice. Ellie Drake and Kristen Limhau. Thank you. Oh, Kirsten.

Sorry, not Kristen. Thank you very much for being part of our champion tapas. Do you think that Kristen Jake Drake would be- Ellie Drake? Ellie Drake would be like forced to be team Drake and not Kendrick, like, cause of the name, you just have to like back it in. No.

And did you see that when Elon Musk and Trump were fighting, someone said, this is like Drake versus Kendrick for rich white people? I did see that it was like Kendrick versus Drake but worse. Yeah. I think it said that both are Drake. Oh, that's good. Fuck the internet's good. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Tarpathon. We are, I can't do the maths, a few weeks away. Oh my God. I also, you just went Tarpathon. We are. And I went, yep. Yep. What a man of few words. Oh my god. I also, you just went, Tapathon, we are. And I went, yep.

What a man of few words. Tapathon, the we. Yeah, that is it. June 28th, Melbourne, Australian time. Yeah, 9am. 9am till 9am Sunday, 24 hours, Tony and I are in dual confinement to prove that we are best friends.

If we can survive each other, and, and here's where we're getting into the details yes and we complete 20 best friend challenges then we will officially be without any shadow of a doubt or legal consequences yep best friends but we could lose yeah well I mean it's obviously not our plan but this isn't like oh and then they're just gonna win and it's just fun like genuinely like we have to pass 20 challenges and we only have 24 hours to do that yep so one every hour at the top of the hours you see how it goes and then we have last chance to loon which is if we fuck up any along the way we

get another chance in the last hour yeah obviously we don't want to leave ourselves too much to do because if we've only passed 10, we're not going to pass 10 challenges in an hour. That's what every, yeah, no. Do you know what I mean? Like that's not going to be possible. So we've got to be a bit like- We're going to be on a game.

We do, yeah. We're going to be sharp. And the hard thing about that is that I'm already not starting off super sharp, but also the more tired you get, because like we're awake for 24 hours, the more tired you get, cause like we're awake for 24 hours, the more tired you get, you get a bit guampy, you get a little bit like, oh fuck,

like you get a bit short, you know? And you're just kind of like, ah! Do you think you'll get short in 24 hours? Yeah. Yeah, I do. No, I think that 24 hours is very different to... 51. 51, which we did in Tarpathon 1 a couple of years ago.

And that was really... That was fucked up. That was tough on the mental health. And I think it took just weeks to try and... Unfog. Yes! You get foggy. That's a hard...

Did you do 51 hours? So I've started already. I'm gonna stay awake from now. But yeah, I think that that's when you get foggy and you kind of make shit decisions. The same as like, you shouldn't do stuff when you're tired. And that's the hard part. Now, I don't know how we're gonna like strategically

get to this, but like. Yeah, so what's the deal? Are we coming up with a strategy? Like what are we, we're on the same team, obviously. We wanna pass together. Well, we've allowed three personal items each to bring in with us. Yeah, you gotta say contraband.

Contraband. Sounds more like. Three items of contraband. Contraband. Sounds more like... Three items of contraband. Yeah. And I guess where I'm headed is like, do we use these contraband for like energy, like as a strategic play to like, what am I going to need when it gets to 3am

and we start getting a bit short and we start getting a bit far? Is one of the contraband items something that's just going to like help us get through that or is it more of a comfort or like you know how are we gonna use these because can I bring the massage chair? Oh that's not where I thought you were going with that. Because maybe especially when the two of us it's just been the two of us for a bit and we start getting a bit like how fucking... But I think that the massage chair put me to sleep. And the...

Mmm. Mmm. Mmm. So last week... Because you've seen me... No, I see it every day. Disappear into that massage chair. I see it every day.

Um, Lily... Sometimes you cut the middle man and just go to bed. I did that the other day, yes. Um, little stress nap. It was good. Woke up, No one was here. Yeah. That is actually not nice. What? When you wake up and like, everything's different. You're like, what year is it? You know, when you wake up from a nap and you're like, holy fuck. Well,

I got a text from George and she was like, I don't know if you're awake, but we're leaving. And I texted her eight hours later being like, oh God, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I think is that, yeah. Is there a limit on like size of the, like what are the limitations of the, cause is it like the contraband has to fit inside a one by one meter box? Like is there rules on this Lily? Like is there a rule on the contraband? Lily's zooming in. Rules, a sort of Lily's area.

There's no set rules on size of contraband that have been set yet, but I don't like the sound of the massage chair. Just putting it out there. Well, it sounds like you should have thought about the one by one meter rule before I brought it up. Sounds like they haven't thought about this. Sounds like we're too creative for them. There's a one by one meter rule that just got implemented.

I think I'll actually maybe have to consult the BFI and get back to you. Oh. I don't work for them. No, you work for us. Yeah, so I'm not the one implementing the rules. Would you say you're like stuck in between us and the BFI? Yeah, it's hard at the moment.

Yeah. Well, you're just making sure that we're gonna correctly pass this challenge. Yeah, okay. All right, so massage chair, but- Potentially in place. Potentially, but I think could be more of a danger. I do think that there's a bit of a danger

of falling asleep or just also being like a bit too comfortable and it may be not being great to watch. Yeah. That for like 15 minutes, it's just like you going like. Brrrr. You know? I don't know, man. If I got in that massage chair I reckon people would pay extra for that if we got the angle right. I don't think I would. I wouldn't.

I would ask for a refund. Okay. I'm just looking for ideas for my only fans. I like the massage chair idea but I wonder if we won't be able to bring that for size restriction reasons. Where my mind went to on contraband was also comfort, but in a different way. You know how last week we talked about like food we'll be eating because obviously we'll be eating like prison food. And I thought, what about a big bowl bag of Maltesers? No, it's too, I mean, it's yours. So you can do whatever you like.

What do you mean? But don't you remember the great Malteser controversy of 2024? Well, when we won them and then we didn't get them. Yes. I'm calling in my debt. No, then that shouldn't count as an item. But I thought like, yeah, like a lolly or something,

but that's good because then you've got like a little snacky. Like a barley sugar. Well, no, because that's not what I said. You said Maltesers. It's too triggering. It just fucks me off when I say them. When you get promised a kilogram of Maltesers.

Each. Each. And 250 turns up in a fun size. Fun for who? Yeah, it's not fun at all. It gets less every time you do it. It's not fun for this little fatty over here. I wish you remembered that they weren't each, like even the ones that you did last.

Yeah, in disgust. We were trying to ration them. I think they're still here. No, we've eaten them. They're gone. Also, fun fact, if you don't eat them, they like shrivel up and get real fucking gross if you leave the container open.

That has never happened to me. But I was thinking, so you've kind of fucked up what I'm saying, but I guess like, I was like, oh, like a barley sugar, but like something that we, cause I don't think we're gonna get like access to like constant food. Gotcha.

So, yep, okay. So I thought like a sweet thing would be good. I don't feel like you're on my vibe and I don't really know why. I totally agree with the sweet treats. I can't. What if it wasn't a Malteser or a Barley sugar? Cause that's just fucked me right up.

Yeah, I can tell. So me saying Maltesers has fucked you up. Well, it's just triggering me. You saying barley sugar has made me so mad. Do we need to get in the massage chair? So. So. But do you agree on a little sweet treat?

And I would be willing to share that with you. You see what I'm saying, what if we pulled our resources here? Because another thing that I thought about, and I don't really know what the situation is gonna be, but what's something you know about me, is that I love to be cozy. You do.

I am going to bring in a huge gigantic blanket. Please, and can we like big enough for the two of us? Well, that one I might not share. Oh, I thought that's what you're building up to. I would kind of won you over with the lollies so that then I could have my own big fluffy blanket. Can you not just like make it a bigger fluffy blanket? I just, as you know, I like to burrito myself. Yeah, that's what like two people can't burrito in one thing. That's what someone with a not big enough blanket would say. Well, that's just where my heads are. The other thing that I thought about was like a little hand cream. What? What?

What? What? Sorry, okay, this is going to take a few steps for me to explain it. Okay. The concept of friends like sharing a blanket is obviously designed to give hand jobs. Obviously. And then when you said, wouldn't it be nice for a little hand? And I went, oh great, we're on the same wavelength. Oh!

And then you said cream and I was like, what? Well, I thought that like a little bit of luxury because it's going to be hard in there. It's going to be difficult in there. OK. OK. I've gone silly because of the lack of sleep we're gonna get. Yeah. In the future.

Okay, so you're thinking Maltesers or something. Not Maltesers and not Barley Sugar. No, not jelly beans because you can't eat them and then talk. And talk, yeah. All right, so Maltesers, a big blanket, a size still in dispute. Yep. And the third is a hand cream. I think so. That's where I'm at at the moment. Okay. Now that you've said that, I'm definitely going to like have to use one on like a lip balm

because I'll chap up. We could share a lip balm and a hand cream. Yeah. Oh, so the hand creams in play. Oh, definitely. Okay. A lip balm. I'm going to continue to negotiate on The massage chair. Or some sort of like,

cause I know being comfortable over the journey is important. So It is. It actually is. Oh, actually, Lily. Cause I think the whole thing is designed to make us uncomfortable and not push us over the edge. That's why I need the big blanket. I did think about asking whether I could bring in a couch. Okay. I have also considered that. Can we have a couch? Each? I was going to,

I was, yeah, I was going to maybe use one of my comfort items to be the couch. Cause I've heard and seen the cell doesn't look comfy. Which is strange because if I was designing a prison, I would design it with comfort in mind. Me too. Turns out- What did Martha Stewart fucking do for everyone? But it turns out pre- lots.

Yeah. I mean. It turns out that people that do design prisons, comfort is like not a top priority. It's like, oh, make sure they don't escape. Well, you know, like. Who cares? So what is the actual seating situation?

What's the furniture looking like pre-contraband? I believe I will have to consult the BFI on the couch situation, but at the moment it's looking like some chairs and some single beds. I don't even know if I'd fit in a single bed. You need to stop. I know. I know. That's the last one. Um, yeah.

Like when you say, do you mean like a fold out prison star single bed? It doesn't look good. Do you know what's really, I think it's going to creak. And what I will say is that- The fold out trundle. It's like, have you ever kind of gotten a massage? And it's like they use like a folding travel massage bed. And so every time they press down it kind of creeps because the pressure obviously of your body

but then them actually putting their body weight into you. And it kind of goes like, and you kind of go like, sorry. Like when at Pilates, one of the reformers squeaks when you. And everyone knows which one it is? Yeah. So you're like, that's the last one every time and people are filing in. Yeah, because you go like, well, I don't want to be the fat

person on the squeak reformer where everyone's like, you little f*****. You said we were done. And then you say. I can say it about myself. You're bad from saying it. Let me tell a story about this. I'm like, fucking come on.

No, but like, so I'm the fat person on the squeaky reformer. You know what I mean? Who is little? Heartbreaking. I'm a tiny woman. Yeah, that is heartbreaking. Yeah. And so then when I get there, and I'm always early anyway, because of who I am as a human

being, but I'm always like, my own one's still left. You know what I mean? That's always the one that gets taken last. So what's the creak situation? I will have to test that out. You'll have to test it out. Yeah, but I get the nervousness of, for show, sound quality.

Sound quality, yeah. Not because. Not because I'm vulnerable. Yeah. About being a little fussy. I just rock up on my creaky bed and my bag of Maltesers. Yeah, if the beds are creaking.

My new blanket. With the hat. Yeah. Oh. All right, if you want to watch this exciting time, patreon.com slash Tony and Ryan, the top tier champions will be watching this live stream June 28th. Very much looking forward to it. And we've placed our hopes for our contraband and obviously there's a bit of clarifying

that needs to happen. Yep. We'll do an official submission of our requests and see if they get knocked back. I'd really love to see it here from Kiara Lees. Hi Kiara. Driving the speed limit in a road works area. Don't you feel like when you go through road works and it's like, oh, it's 40 because we're doing works, you feel like you're going so slow.

Yeah. And it's noticeably slower than, yeah. And then this idiot behind me says, Kiara, he's like flashing his lights. He's all frustrated. He's like, cause often they're like, I'm doing the limit you fuckface. Yeah. And what sometimes annoying is like the workers are on their break

and it's seemingly like nothing's happening but we still have to drive 40. And also like, it's just, it's going to take one more minute. Yeah. So, not even like just get over it. So he's right up her ass. He's tooting his horn He's flashing his lights being a fuckhead

So anyway first chance he gets the guy overtakes me just flies past and you know how you have that moment Where you wish you're a fucking undercover cop you can go? With the fucking yeah, so I scoff and roll my eyes and thinking the same thoughts as Tony B Like wouldn't it be fucking great if this guy just... Yeah. Where are the police at that time? So the police are actually coming the other way towards them and kind of sees this guy overtake and speed off and they've kind of gone, Oh, road works on here. So then they flick the lights on, does one of these ones and drops a yui and then goes chasing after that guy, pulls him over and then Kiara like, yeah, drives past.

I hope you're not late now mate. That is fucking amazing. Instant karma, I fucking love it says Kiara. Well done. And because the amount of times you hope that that would happen. Someone flies past you and you go, what a knobhead. And then you go, don't you just wish that there was an, oh, I would pay to see that.

Yep. That is amazing. How much? What? We said you'd pay. Yeah. How much? $35 a month.

I've got a love to see it. And this is actually very wholesome and beautiful. My love to see it and this is actually very wholesome and beautiful. My love to see it is gardening. Because I've been doing a bit of gardening at home and as we know I'm a lawn queen, I love looking after the lawn. The lawn's a bit fucked at the moment actually. Oh it's the season, it's not you. Yeah, I think it actually is.

Because then it's like a real hot day and it goes brown because it's so wet. Because it's like raining and then it's fucked. Anyway You gonna go there with like the hairdryer? I feel like I might need like... A heat lamp? No. I think I might need to like watch a few YouTube videos and like find out really what I should be because I think I'm doing things at the wrong time. Have you gone into the rabbit hole of lawn tube, like lawn people, YouTube? Cause I reckon. Lawn hub. That's not where I was going.

That is very funny. Yeah. Better have you. Well, no. Cause I reckon once you start. Cause it's so over, like, you know, when you pick up a new hobby or you start looking into something, you go, could I DIY that or, you know, whatever. And it's, there's so much information out there that you kind of just get overwhelmed

and you're like, I don't really know where to start. I reckon. I don't know who they are, but you're going to find one person that's going to become your lawn bestie. They're somewhere out there on YouTube and you don't know that you've got a new friend just waiting around the corner And I'm excited for you to find them. You know who I do follow Lawns in good Nick, you know Yeah, hey bandsgrove's husband you guys could hook it up and then I'll drop me a cooler

You could just come he could come around and be like this is what you need to do bud So I think maybe I'll do that watch some of his videos. Yeah, you want him to personally come around and be like, this is what you need to do, Bart. So I think maybe I'll do that, watch some of his videos I'm really liking. Do you want him to personally come around? Well, maybe he could, I think he does that. Well, she's 39 and a half weeks pregnant, so I don't reckon he's got much. So that doesn't have anything on him. I reckon he's pretty clear, so.

Bart, anyway, so I love the lawn, but I've gotten into gardening and my wife, nope. Your wife and me, Bridger, have been chatting about plants because she's got her veggie garden going and stuff. So we've been having a bit of a yarn on the side, being like, oh, should I line this thing? Should I put drainage holes in? Like what do you, you know,

and we've been having a great time. And isn't it so nice? And I think this is what you mean about like, there's a best friend out there just waiting you haven't met yet. Isn't it so nice when you connect with someone on a hobby because like, then it's like, oh, well, how'd your strawberries end up coming out?

Yeah. Or like, oh, like, they've just started popping through or whatever. I just love it. It's so fucking fun. So you know Hunter Smith? Yes. He's the only other guy I know that listens to this random podcast called The Town.

Oh. And like, I've never been able to just like, bro out about this podcast. Sure. Say bro out again. Oof. Oh no, but like just get into the weed. Cause there's two hosts and they clearly don't like each other. Oh, what's the actual, like, is it American?

Yeah. It's about like Hollywood. One's a Hollywood reporter and one's like the host. And he goes, oh, we'll check with the expert. But they're like, I don't think they like each other. Oh, interesting. But I've heard and I'm listening and going, oh, like it's interesting, but I think there's like,

I don't think that, I just don't think they like each other. And then, so you guys kind of met and were like, so. Hans from Mentions in the Town, I go, oh, I've never really met anyone else who heard that. And he goes, yeah, do you reckon those guys like each other? And I'm like, oh my God, yes. And he's like the best feeling. He really is, yeah.

And so even though My You Love to See It is gardening on the face of like, I've been enjoying doing it, I think that My You Love to See It is like connecting with people over hobbies. You know what you're- It's like a really wonderful feeling. You know what the You Love to See It is

of this whole thing? What? It's friendship. Yeah. Maybe the friendship is the You Love to? It's friendship. Yeah. Maybe the friendship is the You Love to See It's we made along the way. Stop. So I'm trying to take Tony's ring off as we hold hands.

And that is on there. And lucky, because look at this. Yeah, I have to put this thing on there. So that doesn't fall off. The real You Love to See It is friendship and jewelry. Well, no, I don't know if that's You Love to See It, but I do fucking love to see it. I do love to see it. I love to see it. Anyway, yeah, so don't know if that's your love to say it, but I do fucking love to say it. I do love to say it.

I love to say it. Anyway, yeah, so now am I beautiful? You love to say it. No, that was actually beautiful. Yeah, it's just so nice, isn't it? Like I chatted to Lil about like knitting and craft stuff. She went and did this like paper mache course thing the other day and we were fucking nerding out about it.

I just love it. And you talked to Sophie about smoking cigs and stuff. Yeah, French boyfriends. Every friendship group's got their own little clique. Yeah, every friendship group has their time of day. Yeah, what time is yours? That's a nighttime friendship. So, we'll be back tomorrow.

Finally, normal or nah. Normal or nah back tomorrow. Oh my gosh. Normal. It's such a long fucking seven days, isn't it, without it? I love it. Well, It's such a long fucking seven days, isn't it? Without it. I love it. Well, the thing about a podcast, it's playable on demand.

No, I like doing it. Oh, we can do a little off the- We could just hang out and do it. Yeah, that could be our friendship thing. That could be our friendship thing. You and Lily talk about knitting. Yeah. You and my wife talk about gardens.

You and so smoke. We got that we got that. We. Yeah. French cigarettes in French bars and talk about French boys. And Tony and I do normal and us. Yeah. And you and Charles talk about technology.

Charles and I talk about Taylor Swift a lot. Yeah. And how the new merch isn't for you guys. And that's fine. And that's okay. Not everything's for everyone. It's so true. And that's my love to say it. Let's be g***s. Love you. Bye. Bye. What's better than a well marbled ribeye sizzling on the barbecue?

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