Toni and Ryan - Farts in Jars for Cash

Episode Date: January 27, 2025

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This is Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Was we're calling Veronica. Um, I'm not going to attempt her last name. What did you just say before we hit record? That's not what you said. I did say something that resembled a light red. And starts with a C.

What up dog? Lovely to chat. Now I'm guessing you're from Wollongong because people from Wollongong say the gong, but you've got so lazy. You just says gong. So can I confirm? Oh, excellent detective skills. I was honestly hustling so hard to get the time submitted. So I was like, what am I going to write?

Well, it took you fucking 45 minutes to put your name in, I guess. Yeah, it's hard work. Yeah. Now, when it says, what do you do for work? It says interior designer for the team, hard on. What's that mean? No, it It says interior designer for the team hard on. What's that mean? No, it actually says interior designer for the team guys hard on. Yeah, what you're very aggressive. Oh my gosh, I was panicked. I'm not going to lie. I was under the pressure and I think I cracked a

little bit. Oh, you have well and truly cracked that gunk. Yeah. Yes. I will calmly say, yes, I'm an interior designer and I'm on hand is what I was meant to write. Oh, hired. Do you remember? Oh, thank you. Hired. Thank you. Yep. I'll add you to my list.

Great. Perfection. Yep. Excellent. Please do. Yes. I'm super reliable and very good at typing and being under pressure. So.

It seems like it. Quick, quick turnaround with Veronica. That's what everyone's saying. Yep. Uh, Veronica, will you approve today's podcast? I'm quick to turn around to. Hey, it's Veronica from Bull and night and it was so good. It was so good.

It said kids these days with their Netflix and chill. I remember back in my day it was go to a cinema and get fingered. And weren't they the days? And it didn't matter what was on. No. You know, like the movie didn't matter. Yeah. Yeah. We'll sit at the back. Yeah. Preferably in the corner. Keep away from the aisle. Yeah. Better bring a blanket. That's actually fucked. Better bring a blanket because it's cold. It's actually 35 degrees in the middle of summer. Oh, but the air conditioning in there. Better put a blanket over the two of us. I actually, I never did that. I never got fingered in a movie cinema. I thought you said never use the blanket. Well, people are just walking past. No, no, no, I never, I never got fingered in a movie cinema. Why not? I actually,

what was I doing wrong? Have you seen the latest movie and would you like to this afternoon? It doesn't matter what's on. I couldn't even think of a movie that's out right now. Wicked. Is that still at the cinema? No, you can already buy that. Yeah. It's on the fucking thing. Um, Blade Runner 7. What are they up to with that? Yeah. Or like a Fast and the Furious 27. I was about to say, yeah, they're wheeled out Vin Diesel again. Yeah. Um, yeah, I don't know. Maybe I just missed that. I don't know. Not that many people wanted to't know. Maybe I just missed that. I don't know. Not that many people wanted to finger me. I refuse to believe that.

That's really so. I actually really appreciate that. Can everyone in today's episode thread? No, we're not doing that. Okay. Just for confidence. Tell us if you wanted, I'm not even going to finish that. Okay.

Yeah. Do we need a moment? Shall we take a sip of this and we'll start it? We'll get started. No, I appreciate that though. Annoyingly, Anonymous Tapa needs advice. Oh. This has come through the confession line,

tonyandryan.com.au. We don't know who it is. We can't even find out. Yeah. And so we can't dox you. Yeah. You know, we genuinely don't know who you are. My husband and I want to go traveling later this year, but it's really expensive.

Absolutely. We've decided to sell pics of my feet on OnlyFans. Love it. Have some fun, make some cash, 20-20 thrive. Here we fucking go. I actually totally love that. I'm very for it. I'm doing okay, I guess.

My feet are tattooed, so I can't't cause everyone would know that on my feet. Yeah. That's why they'd pay extra at the moment. I mean, feet gone wrong.com. Do we end up looking up? Did we look that up the other day? No, we didn't. We didn't Google it on the show.

Well, I think you didn't. Then you did a weird burp and we moved on. Oh, I had suppressed that. Yeah. I'm doing okay. I guess says anonymous, but after seeing someone sell their fart in a jar for $700 on the dark web, I think I need to up my game. I'll sell worn socks.

I'll send feet pics the whole lot. Who else is doing this and what's your advice? And would farting in jars make more money? Tony Lodge, successful business lady with the finance team. Thank you. Your reaction? My reaction instantly is like, fucking go for it. I would want, people just want to buy your stinky socks.

Fuck yeah. Why not? Because you're not doing anything to them, but wearing them. It's the same as the people like, you know, when Orange is the New Black, did you watch that show? I've asked you that. So there's one of the arcs of the season is that they are using scraps of material that they're making for something else.

They use the scraps like make underwear and they all the prisoners wear it. And then she likes gets it to her brother who sells it and they're all like making money. Really? Yeah. That's like a one of the underground like trades that they're doing in the jail. And I'm like, I fucking, I fucking rate it. Like, I actually don't think it's that weird.

In the co- so this got posted in the Tony and Ryan Facebook group. Shelby says, love this for you. Make that money. Literally get that back. Christie said, I'm loving this thread. Get it girl. Uh, let's ignore her name because, uh, Lacey says, unfortunately I don't have any advice, but I'm here for it. Wish you all the best. Get that bag, sis.

Yeah, no, I absolutely love it because also it's like you're safe because you're just like posting it to somebody or even, or if it's a photo, I mean, it's all online, isn't it? Like only fans. Is it hard though to cut through on OnlyFans because there would be a lot of people kind of going, oh, we'll just, but it takes a lot of content creation. It takes a lot of time. So there was some like hundreds of comments and some good genuine advice and people like,

yep, you got to start a brand as in like, you know, you got to put yourself out there. You got to work at it. There's here's some different areas of Reddit where you might want to get advice or be like, find some buyers. And there was some genuinely like really helpful step by step. Like people like, here's the website start here. Here's what you can offer to make more money. Like I have a question about only fans.

How is everybody that I see? I see, do you know what I mean? How is everybody that you see in the top 1% of creators on only You can't all be in the top 1% because then who's in the 99% who's in the 99% I'm going to start an only fans and just be say like, I'm in the bottom 99% of creators. I'm in the bottom 99% of this. So our mate Angela Y. Yeah.

She makes fucking bank on OnlyFans. Yeah. It's like, lots of money. Yeah. Fuck. Well, so she makes a lot of money from like making porn. Yeah. But then she also like does that because she's like, I can do that while I travel.

And you know, I can kind of- Use my phone. It's pretty easy. Well, yeah, I can, my own schedule. Yeah. Like literally it is like the digital nomad of like being a porn star. Yeah. Fuck.

That's so sick. Alex says coincidence chat. Wasn't Alex Toblerone, was it? No. My husband and I had this same conversation last night and I've started the process of signing up for foot pick selling. If you sell feet picks, are pedicures now a business write-off? Yes.

One surely. Costs of goods sold. Yeah. Cause you go, oh yeah. Business expense. Yeah. To make it look good. It's the same as it basically uniform.

Yeah. So Alex said, I'm making money from selling footpicks and making money by claiming pedicures on tax. It's a double win. Get around it. Literally like I can't think of a better business. Lena said, I had this conversation with my husband last night. Can I just say I love that all the husbands are getting on board?

Absolutely. They're like, I'll take the photos for you. I'll hold the ring light. I love it. Is selling farts in a jar not the best way to make money? Would the farts stay in the jar though? Wouldn't it like, the smell wouldn't still be there. Lena said, why do farts have to be sold on the dark web?

Everyone farts. Can't we just do it freely? But then it wouldn't be worth what it's worth. And then there's a comedian in the replies. Ryan John, obviously. Nah, it was Can. Um, he says, I can't sell farts on the open market because you can't sell weapons of mass destruction.

I respect that Can. Um, Mindy says, if you find out the answer to the fart selling, let me know, because I would totally sell my farts in a jar. I just think it's like. But yeah, does it like. Yeah. I just, I just don't think that it would be anything by the time you got it. It would just be a jar.

I'm also like, oh, I really like collecting jars because they always come in handy. They do when you're making a jam. You're giving all the jars away. Like how much mayonnaise can you eat? Yeah. Well, I think the issue for at my house, cause Bridget likes making a chutney or a jam or something. Oh, not that jar sweetie. You know, like, oh no. Yeah. Cause you go, oh, well like I'm going to, I bought that one from the internet. Someone farted. That's a fart. Don't use that one. That's a good fart one. Cause it's smaller. That just had, you know, cocktail olives in it. This one though, that's a big one.

So that's good for sourdough starter. Like then you just dividing the jars up. Yeah. Or maybe are you buying specialty jars from like a canning store? Or maybe, okay. At our house, Bridge, if it's got a red jar, you can put your jams in it. Red lid. Yes.

Don't use the blue lid jars or open them. Cause they're full. Cause they're full of farts and I spent good money for those. I wonder, I wonder. Okay. So this is not how it would work, but this is what just happened in my brain. And sorry to introduce you to the wild world of what happens in my head. No, I like it.

So I bought a fart in a jar and then I go, when I receive my jar, I open it and it makes the sound. Because that sound has been in the jar. And then I've gone, oh, I actually don't think that's how it works. Or what if all these people on like OnlyFans or whatever, they're like memeing people and they send them a jar and it's just got like a fart, like button in it. Like the button goes... A little whoopie cushion. Yeah. They got a little smell, but button in it. Like the button guys. A little whoopie cushion. Yeah.

They got a little smell, but like I put the fart in the jar. All right. What you're about to hear from Tony Lodge, the audio queen is someone opening a jar where you do get to hear the fart, but they just open a little bit just to see like. Okay. Oh my God, my farts are on. You were so deep in character. You didn't realize you just spat on me.

That landed on my hands. That was some of the fart that came out. Wet one. You pay extra for that. I hope so. You should be so thankful. I am. Thank you.

I'm loving the supportive energy of tarpas around this. Jackie Martin. Hi Jackie. It's crazy the stuff people sell. I heard of a seller who got a few thousand dollars to shit themselves in their underwear and sent it to someone. I'm already doing half that. You could be making money.

Darian. Never when I shat in the garden. Oh yeah. We don't talk about that until the 29th of February, 2028. But like, why could I make good cash for that? Darian said, no, this is, she did this for a year. Yeah. Hang on.

Sorry. Can you sell things on OnlyFans? No, it's this for a year. Yeah. Hang on. Sorry. Can you sell things on only fans? No, it's not like a marketplace. I think you think you can just. No, I think there's like personalized videos to merge. No, I think like you can request a personalized thing. Sorry. I'm talking like a physical.

Yeah. If you wanted to, so that that's not the same thing. Is it like you would then be selling that on Etsy or something? Or maybe you request that personalized thing and pay for it. And then it's just up to the only fans created to send it out and not just. Maybe you just have a merch website. Yeah. Yeah.

You know, sorry. I'm just asking for the time. You get a ping from Shopify and goes up, fart in the jar, please. Yeah. And you go, Oh God, I don't have one brawn. Give me a minute. Yeah. Sorry. Jackie Jackie in the jar please. Yeah. And you go, Oh God, I don't have one brawn. Yeah. Give me a minute. Yeah. Sorry.

Jackie. Jackie was the shitting the underwear. Darian. Darian. Darian? Darian? She did this for a year. She did this for a year.

The shitting your pants. No, no. I was a professional cuddler. So it's like, not like sex work, but it's like you literally like someone goes, Oh yeah, I'm just like, just really need a hug. And right now, can you come around and we'll just like curl up on the couch and, you know, for, for a fee, the companionship thing. Yeah.

Right. That sounds really nice. It was great. It was easy money and it sounds weird on the outside, but everyone was just really nice. Well, yeah, cause I think it would be people that are like, you know, I really just need a hug. Can you come around and just cuddle and watch a movie?

And she's like, yep, all good, bro. She did it for a year and made a stack. You know that? Have you seen those videos like on TikTok? TikTok? Have you seen TikTok? Where like those strippers come home and they go, yep, I worked last night from midnight till 5am at six o'clock. Now I just got home like, let's count my money. I have seen those. Oh, amazing.

And they look so like they're sitting there and they're like little outfit. I'm like, oh, as far so sick. So good. So good. Oh my God. Um, professional cuddle. I think I could do that. You're a good cuddle.

Cause I'm like, I think I like a good squeeze. That would be good. Are you a good squeezer or do you think you'd be the squeezy? Whatever they needed. And that's cause I'm a professional. Finally, Erin said, I saw someone selling their morning breath in a Ziploc bag. A Ziploc bag. That feels budget.

Try better. Doesn't it? Yeah. Oh, you customers just- Get a jar, you pov-bist. Surely. Surely. At least a specimen jar.

You just keep going to the doctor and be like, I think I need another stool sample. They just keep giving them to you. It's Veronica from Wollongong and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. So okay, I've just had a thought. So all of these people that said that they were thinking about, you know, doing sexy photos and now we're doing it with their husband. What a two for one, because you're setting up these sexy photos, you've just had your pedicure done.

Yeah. And then you go, oh, now that we've taken those photos, you're definitely having sex. Definitely. 100%. Because you're in the zone and you've probably got some like soft lighting on and you're like, you know, I reckon that would fit. You'd feel so sexy. 100%. You'd feel like super empowered. You're like, you're, I reckon that would fit. You'd feel so sexy. A hundred percent.

You'd feel like super empowered. You're like, you're taking a hot photo of me. You're looking at me all slutty and like, oh, yum. So every now and then on Twitter or somewhere, you, I'll find a dumb thread. And it's like some guy that's like, Oh, my girlfriend is posting skimpy photos or fuck, and they're a bit like protective and a fuckhead and whatever. And I think what you just said, like for me, I'm like, I'll take the photos. That's hot.

Yeah. That's like, you're like a hot, you're feeling yourself. You're wearing your hottest clothes and strangely like from what we're like, I love taking a photo, you know, you interest. Oh, but like as the in-house graphic designer of Tony and Ryan, like, I'll get Lightroom, I'll fucking jazz you right up. Yeah. See, I think that actually sounds like a fun thing to do together. Yeah.

And then after you've, you know, you've been at the beach and you're fancy, you're like, oh, well, like, obviously, obviously I'm walking around here with a camera and a raging hard on. What are we going to do with this? Oh yeah. I'm taking these pictures with a stiffy. That's not what I said. Oh, that's not what I said.

I've got a stalk on, which we've banned from the podcast. I'm not allowed to say have a stalk on. When people who are taking the photos and stuff, clearly if like the talent is going for it, like you would be like, no, I think you're a professional in that stage. I think if you were husband and wife or like wife and wife, whatever, I think you would. But I think if you're at work, you would be in work mode. Like it's the same as when like doctors literally say like, oh, it's just another boob or another penis or whatever. You would be like, oh, how's the light hitting it?

You wouldn't be like, is his name the light? Like you wouldn't be like, what's the shading on the boobs? You just got, what's the shading? I think you would be thinking, but I reckon if you were husband and wife, you would be like, we're just amateurs here. It's like amateur porn is like so hot. Cause it's like, normally it's just like two people that are making it together and he's holding the thing and it's like, okay.

Sorry. Not just one of those EPS. I've said too much. I feel like we're all revved up. We're all thinking about cash. We're thinking about naked people, which is like, it's just the, it's the zone today. And I just think that there's just nothing hotter than a business owner.

Like, nothing, nothing hotter. But like, so we're talking about people that are like taking their financial future into their own hands. I'm like, oh, get it sister. You need to get on LinkedIn. You need to get on LinkedIn.

That just like makes my nips hard. That's cool. Actually, let's post this on LinkedIn. Okay. Hello. Everyone, if you run a business, tag yourself, and Tony will reply. Circle back, more like circle jerk. We've just been taken off LinkedIn.

Oh, yeah. That's just for the show. Massive thank you to a few of our champions up at our Patreon, which is basically OnlyFans. We could start selling stuff on there. Uli, good on you Uli, Steven Fink, Matty Jansen, Martin Karen, Hayley Topping, and Shaz, good on you Uli. Steven Fink, Matty Jansen, Martin Karan, Haley Topping and Shaz.

Good on you Shazza. What would you pay for from me? I'll do it. Let us know in the episodes, right? Oh, I thought you were asking me, I was like, it's free. Why would I buy the cow when I get milk for free? What'd you call me?

I'm just some fat cow that provides you with milk. I just love your milk. Your nut milk. There's people in the room. Oh, well, reductive. Reductive. This Saturday, the cricket's on. And I will have calmed down by then, I promise. I'm going to go home and have a cold shower. Bring your tickets and a hose to cool off Tony Lodge. So this Saturday, the Melbourne cricket ground, the Australian women's cricket team is playing the England women's cricket team in the Asher.

It's going to be sick. It's actually fucking awesome that cause they're advertising on TV and everything that like, Oh, that big clash of the Asher light sick and Melbourne cricket ground, a hundred thousand seats. It's a huge stadium, biggest cricket stadium in the world. Taylor Swift played there. For those playing at home. So are you wearing the hat?

Thank you for on behalf of her. You're so welcome. Instead of buying two tickets, we accidentally bought two bays. They're in Tony's name. If you'd like to come. You're so welcome. You're so welcome, but you have to dress up like Tony.

Because otherwise you won't be able to get in. Cause I'll be like, this ticket's for Tony Lodge. And you'll be like, yes, I'm here. Yeah. Cause do you know what's crazy? I love Billkin business owners. Do you know what's crazy about impersonating yourself? You don't have to change your voice.

You actually just. Because I'm already doing it. This is the best impression of all time. Watch me do an impression of Ryan. Hello. Watch me do an impression of Ryan. BEEE! Come get my milk for free! What's his name?

What's his name? Sophie, can you do your impression of Tony? I'm spat all over my microphone. I'll do an impression of Tony doing an impression of Ryan. I'm sure. Please. And Charles, don't you laugh because Charles, after this, you're going to do an impression of Sophie doing impression of Tony doing impression of me.

I'm still in probation. That's actually fair. That is fair. That is fair. Yes. Sorry Charles. Okay. I know we're doing the cricket this week and there's going to be 1,496 other tarpers joining us.

That's so sick. One of the Bay is completely sold. The other Bay is like mostly sold. So like last, last, last chance to get in. There's going to be 1500 of us all wearing a black and white striped shirt, our blue denim jacket and watching the cricket, having a good time.

Cricket, if you're not like a huge cricket fan, it's like a pretty cash, like we can just talk and have a beer and hang out. We'll be chatting because we don't have to be quiet. It's not like the tennis. Yeah. So it's pretty chill. It's a good time. We can hang out, but also because we want it to be really full so that it looks unreal. Yeah. So if you're thinking of coming, please just and you can bring whoever you want. They just have to dress up. Tickets are free. Details on Instagram, Facebook and Patreon. But also maybe if you bought a ticket and and you can bring whoever you want. They just have to dress up. I think it's a free details on Instagram, Facebook and Patreon, but also maybe if you bought a ticket and now you can't come, it would be great if you could find someone to like swap with or whatever,

because we really want it to look like full and awesome. So because we've spent a lot of money, hence us wanting it to be full. Yeah. There's been a bit of chat of Hence I was pointing it to people. Yeah. There's been a bit of chat of like, well, let's at least use these opportunities to promote the podcast. You know what I mean? Let's get the word out there.

And Jacques JJ, incredible name. Amazing name. She said, I heard you mentioned that no one should explain what's going on at the cricket and I think that's hilarious. Yeah. People go, what's going on here? And you go, oh going on at the cricket. And I think that's hilarious. People go, what's going on here? And you go, I just enjoy the game. And they go, okay. Um, however, Jack JJ said, why don't you get a massive big sign with a QR code and

everyone has to take a turn holding it up in the base. So everyone gets a job. Or you just hold it for a minute, pass it on. So that when you get shown on TV, people might try and pause to scan and go to your YouTube or the Spotify or something. You can also make a heap of small square business cards that has your logo on them and the QR code. Does Jack want a job?

Oh my gosh. So now Tony, I believe, and I don't know this, I'm new to the QR code game, but I have made a few. But you're a fan. I have made a few. I'm in the game, I'm new to the game, but I'm in the game. You're a fan of a QR code. I think that you didn't know what they were for a while. I didn't get them.

And then all of a sudden you were like, did you not, and I was like, oh yeah. Yeah, we're like 10 years or so, really. Yeah, well, I mean COVID. Really accelerated. When we were, yeah. But I'm new to QR codes. So I don't know these answers, but I like what the questions I'm hearing.

OK. So. I can answer them, because I'm a QR queen. Well, you said the other day, how big would the QR code need to be in person for someone to like see it in the background of the cricket on the TV and to be able to use it? Yeah. You just claimed to be an expert.

Do we have an answer on that? Um, no, I don't know. Okay. But when I was at a comedy show not that long ago and it was like quite big and it was quite hard to scan. Right. So they had it like- That was like up behind them.

Right. Cause it was at the, um, like at Hamer hall. Yeah. Right. So what was it called? Yeah. Hamer hall, Hamer hall. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Where the spire is the art center. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It was there. So it was up behind them.

And it was sort of, you couldn't really get it. It wasn't annoying, but like people spent the show trying to get the QR code instead of maybe like, but also it's the cricket. So you're not like missing anything. Yeah. Although as in like, it goes for a while. Yeah, it goes all day. But what, but, but watching on TV.

So is the QR code for people watching on TV or for the other people at the ground? Both. A QR code doesn't discriminate. It's for everyone. That is beautiful. A QR code is a symbol of equality in my eyes. That's for everyone. That is beautiful. A QR code is a symbol of equality in my eyes. It's for everyone to enjoy. Cause I'm thinking at when on the broadcast, they're obviously broadcasting controversially the cricket and not just us.

We'll get a few hits in though. All right, they'll cross, but I'm thinking if they do a quick cross, like a quick like glance, then there's a QR code. Then you pull your phone. I just, I mean, people have their phones out already. True. But they'll be on Instagram. Like it's a pretty quick, like when they cut to the crowd. Oh fuck. It's QR code. What is it? But do you know what that would do for me? That I'll go, they'll cut to them again soon. I better be ready. So we're actually a game within a game. Well, yeah. But also the TSL is going to be off the chain. Yeah. People are going to, people are going to keep watching. It's time spent listening for those new to the biz. Not tender loving care. What's that TLC? It's a radio term. Just a bit of fun.

We're going to get that term spent listening up. Yeah. And the cube. But the cube will be off the fucking chisity chain. So where are you at though with the QR code? I think we should do it. Because I also think that a QR code is like, it immediately makes you curious. It should be called a QR code. Name pending. Working title.

Because it's curiosity. QR-i-ocity. Oh. I knew I'd get there. Tony's blacked out. Yeah. And where is it? Is it just going to Spotify or like to YouTube or something? Yeah. Or maybe our link tree?

Yeah. Cause that is like YouTube, Spotify. It's all there. By Tony's book. By the Hollandaise sauce from the Tony and Ryan Amazon store. Yeah. Have a look at that wide slot toaster. Do we put that up?

That's no, I don't think so. Did that get put up? It's pending. Okay. Okay. Great. You'll enjoy that. How big do we want to make if we're doing this, how big does the QR code need to be?

Okay. So we can't be assholes to whoever's behind. No, but it's all us in the bay. And if we're just taking it in turns. Cause that's what I think about a sign. You go, Oh, then the people behind you can't see. Oh, but that's still, yeah. And I hear what you're saying.

Is it Dicky? Yeah. But then if it's- Are there people behind us on our level? No, we've's still, yeah. And I hear what you're saying. Is it Dicky? Yeah. But then if it's- Are there people behind us on our level? No, we've got a whole bay. So there's not, it's not like split level and there's people that are. So there's no one that could get blocked by that because they're like the next level.

Only the other type is behind us, but like every minute we're passing it around, then everyone gets a turn, snake it around. So two bays, two QR codes. Ooh, that took complicated. Jeweling QR codes. No, we got to like spread it around because you never know where they're going to cut to on the broadcast. What if like that we had one roaming QR code like that, but then we got one

embroidered on the back of our jackets. And so every time we turn around to talk to someone, someone could scan it. Would that work? Can you embroider that? Can you embroider QR code? And if so, can we do that in three days? Oh, what about our guy? We've got a guy from... We've got a boy. We've got our boy. Oh, yeah. We've also got a cricket. Can you do it on the cricket?

We're going to the cricket. Yeah. No, can you do it on your it? We're going to the cricket. Yeah. No, can you do it on your cricket? We're going to the cricket. Yeah. So at the cricket, will you be ringing your cricket to the cricket? I don't like cricket. Oh, no. I fucked it up. I love it. Um, but that doesn't like kind of embroider with that.

No one knows what it is. It's the cricket is an enigma. No, and that doesn't, I like can't embroider with that. No one knows what it is. It's the cricket is an enigma. No, and that's okay. That's okay. But the cricket's an enigma. None of us really know what it does. That's even incorrect because the enigma code to me, easy, but a cricket, very difficult to understand.

What if we put a QR code on a netball bib? And we just hoofed that over ourselves. Because then we wouldn't be wearing the Tony Lodge outfit. Yep, so true. Because I do not commonly wear a netball bib. I think we've got an embroiderer guy that did the Tarpathon jackets for last year. Imagine if we got some QR codes embroidered on like a denim jacket, which is the uniform. It's on theme. Yep. Oscar.

Oscar. Yeah, Oscar's listening. It's on theme. Yep. Oscar. Oscar. Yeah. Oscar, we could do that. Yeah. Oscar, if you're listening, send us some. Well, cancel the rest of your week, Oscar. Yeah. That would take a, but do you think it would actually work? My friend's baby's named Oscar.

It's not the same guy. But I just pictured a 14 month year old boy hammering out these jackets. Yeah. It's impressive. Do you think it would work? I feel like screen printing it would work. Maybe not embroidering. Oh. Embroidering would be hard.

Well plus screen prints you can do so easy. Like your logo, your lemons on your shirt right now, that's screen printed. That's actually on my breast, Charles. I'm gonna have to ask you to take a step back. Charles, I would just like to let you know that, Charles, I would like to let you know that Tony's eyes are up there. Yeah. Don't you talk about the lemons under my shirt, Charles. Okay.

What are those lemons? No, they're my breasts. I like to squeeze those fucking acidic bags. Yeah. Charles is over there Googling Tony Lodge fart in jar. Tony Lodge lemon juice. Get lemons, make lemonade. That's what they say. Yeah. Um, yeah.

Okay. We could be looking into that on the back of a denim jacket. Cause that's already on our, whether it's screen printing. What about like an iron on? Is that a thing? What is it? 1993. With something like that is that it would be easy for the bits to move rendering

QR code just completely useless. Would it be useless or it's just shoot you off some other place? Yeah. And then what you're looking at my farts in jazz on OnlyFans, you know, before you know it. Maybe if people ask what's going on here, we go, Oh, Tony's an only fans, greater tonely fans, tonely fans, greater. Yeah, that's fine. They won't believe it, but yeah, they'll believe it. Someone else, I got this message on Instagram now, like, oh, when people come up to him public, have you ever thought about like lying about whether like, cause sometimes

people go like, Oh, where do I know you from? And you go, Oh, I'm the only fence grader. Someone messaged you the other day and was like, Oh, have you ever fucked with anybody like, and I was like, no, I haven't like, Oh yeah, I'm a porn star. And then whoever they're with is like, Oh, can you imagine? I have met a few tarpas where the, the wife or girlfriend is a tapar and the boyfriend has no idea. Yeah.

And so maybe that's where I should go and go and I always go, good day, man. Oh, thanks for coming along. And he goes, Oh, what's the deal here? And I go, yeah. So I've got a huge dick and I send pictures on Tik Tok and she obviously like, likes that. So that's where she knows me from. That's why Tik Tok got shut down. It was Ryan's fault.

Yeah, I mean, I think that we should look into something on the back of the denim jacket, but I definitely think one big roaming QR-iosity code. I have one more question on the QR code. And I don't know if Charles is our tech guy for this, but I know Tony, you're also an expert. Yeah. If we have enough people, say, if I were to just like pick a number 1,496. And that's actually crazy that you just said that because that's how many people are into that is for the cricket.

How did you know that? If we got the right amount of like black t-shirts and white t-shirts and spread everyone out properly, could we make a QR code out of humans? But then what about the- And no one moves. Someone's like, oh, it didn't work. Oh yeah, Steve's getting a beer. Yeah.

But also that the uniform then, the costume won't- Yeah, but again, hypothetically, the concept of a human made QR code. Do you know what I reckon you could do if everybody was holding up a sign and then top down that would work? Cause I have that in movies like at a sports thing and it's like... Yeah. It's just like the leveling that's like at the sport thing cause they're at different stages. Heights, yes.

Oh, the tilt. Or also if you're really short and then the next person's really tall, then that would fuck it too, wouldn't it? Yeah. There's a lot of variables. Charles just said he's bringing a drone. No, that's a lot of variables. Charles just said he's bringing a drone. No, that's not what I said.

And even if he was, he wouldn't say that out loud. At an MCG. Not any MCG. The MCG. An MCG. You would never bring that to an MCG. Alright, watch this space and watch the curiosity code. That's good, isn't it? That is pretty good.

I've got a love to see it. Please. My love to see it is people that know how to reference properly. I never went to real university, so I don't really understand this. Okay. But people that actually understand referencing, wow, pop-offs this. Absolutely love it. Carissa Castella is a tarpa. Yes, she is.

And she had to make a sign for her work. She like, is a doctor, works in to make a sign for her work. She like, is a doctor, works in a hospital or like a med center and was like, oh, we need to make some signs to like encourage people to remember to like refill their medication, things like that. She made this sign and used the term 2020 Thrive, which as we all know, was coined by Tony Lodge 2025. I don't think we all know that. I think we've heard you claim that. But we know that.

No, no, no. We've heard you claim that. No, so we know that. On the bottom of the sign, I've got it here and I'm going to just swing it over. So this is like a huge sign that's in the doctor's office where Carissa, where Carissa, where Carissa, don't encourage her. It says along the bottom, in a fucking hospital for other doctors, 2020 Thrive concept from Dr. Tony Lodge.

Thrive concept from Dr. Tony Lodge. I hate that people are going to go, oh, is she the one from the neurosurgeon department? And they'll be right, because that's what I'm doing on the weekends now. I'm moonlighting as a surgeon. I'm not. I'm not, obviously not. Well, you're not this Saturday because you'll be busy at the cricket. I'll be at the cricket. But yeah, I just I love to see that. I thought that was so funny. What a good gag. I know you're so unimpressed, but it's pretty funny.

It is pretty funny. Thanks, Carissa. That's very sweet. Let me send you this picture. Oh, Melissa, not to be confused with Carissa. Good morning Tarp family. I wanted to share a Tarp inspired creation. I am the principal of an alternative high school

for students that have suffered trauma. So a pretty intense job, but doing incredible work. I've been doing for about a year, the process of getting a therapy dog into the school for students. And now we're like, we've got our certification and we're passing all these tests. So Luna has been coming to work some days

and isn't Luna just beautiful? We've got a photo here. It's in there. You'll love to see it as well. Yeah. But what I needed was a way to let students know if Luna was like in today, cause she's only in

like a couple of days a week. And it seemed only correct to whip out the cricket and create this not masterpiece, but task masterpiece. Friends, the dogtor is in. That is so cute. And at the top it says Luna's office. The dogtor is in. That is so cute. And at the top it says Luna's office, the doctor is in. That is so cute.

Luna, five-star girl. What a sweetheart. Beautiful sweetheart. Oh, and there's one of the students at the top, like giving her a pat, obviously. Oh. Also, imagine being like, sorry, I've actually got a doctor's appointment

and you just get to go hang out with a dog. Like, isn't that the best? That's so sweet. Does the dog to Luna give you a little pass? That's very, very cute. I actually said last night to Bridge, I said, because I was cuddling Beige and I was like getting him into the bed and he's like, not probably not really supposed to sleep in the bed.

And Bridge was like, oh, there's not enough room for us. And I said, I need him. He's my therapy dog. What did she say? Well, it's sort of like when someone pulls that card, it's hard to push back. Yeah. Or she just goes, fine. You know, I decide whether you've got the energy for that. Yeah.

Well, Pippa sleeps in her own bed in our bed, like down the end. Bedception. But some nights if she's had a long day without us or whatever, sometimes she creeps up. But she only ever curls into me, like she doesn't curl into Torbz. And so this morning I woke up and my spine was in the wrong place.

And literally in our king size bed, Torbz has like his side and then Pippa is like on the edge of my side and I'm on the bed. Yeah. Because she's in the middle. So every time I creep over, she creeps over a little bit more. I creep over a little bit more. Now I'm going to lay on the ground here.

Yeah. And you're going to describe how I'm lying and where BJ would be in comparison to me. See, I know the answer already. Because me and BJ have our side of the bed and Bridge has her. A similar story. Uh-huh. Might be a struggle in the jeans. No, you know the answer. Because me and Beej have our side of the bed and Beej has her. A similar story. Might be a struggle in the jeans. No, you got it.

All right, Ryan's. Oh, wow. Oh God, that's cock forward. Please describe the shot. Ryan is lying on his back and has his knees bent to either side. And what I'm guessing is that BJ was right in your butt. And I'm guessing that his fat,

like his chin was resting on the thigh. Am I correct? His head on the inner thigh, his whole body is in a circle made of my legs and it looks like I'm giving birth to him. That's actually really cute. His head's just here and I'm scratching. We could sell this photo on OnlyFans.

I think I've done it. No, that's very, very cute. You love to see that. There is actually, even though I go, oh, in the morning I'm like, fuck, I've slept a bit crook. Cause like, you know, I'm sore, but I do like it. It's so worth it.

And you like the attention. You go, oh, they've picked me, not my partner. Oh, Beige would never pick Bridge. Because Bridge wouldn't cop it. Oh, right. Get out of the way and I'm like, you come here, sweetheart. Oh, yeah, nasty. Like, I'm Pippa's person as well.

And so I always, I'm like, feel a bit smug. Ian for 2025. I've just texted Bridge. I think she got a photo of Mabel asleep on me and then Beige in his. Oh, that is so cute. Oh, well, if we get that photo, we'll pop that in the episode. Directly will come in the next minute. A minute is a really long time for us to vamp until the end of the episode.

Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. I want to be a meowing dog. Nope. Fridge has probably got her own life. Like looking after the baby and the dog and you know. Yeah. If we get that photo through, we'll pop it in the episode thread.

I actually don't know if we'll be, oh no we won't because that is. Can I say it? A lot. Can I say it? Wow. And I'll decide. I didn't realize how unflattering I looked. So just keep in mind that I've got an asleep baby and an asleep dog of me and I'm stuck and can't move.

We... I don't think we'll post it. Yeah. But it is very cute. I'm not wearing much and I've got a sleep baby on me. Yep. No, but very cute. Very cute. Is that what I look like laying on my back

with no shirt on? That's confronting. I could have told you that. Thank you very much for listening. Is that what you say? Yeah. We'll be back tomorrow. Love you so much.

Meow, meow, meow. Bye. Love you so much. Meow, meow, of both worlds, where performance meets style. I wear my Dior pants to work, out with friends, on hiking trails, and everywhere in between. If you haven't tried Dior, you've gotta feel the difference for yourself. Head to Dior.ca slash Comfort and get 20% off your first purchase today. That's Dior.ca slash Comfort.