Toni and Ryan - Feedback, Apologies and Explanations

Episode Date: November 8, 2022

Ryan needs to make MULTIPLE public apologies - and we finally iron out a hot button issue. Fuckin' love ya. Toni xoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Hello. We're about to call Catherine. Hi Catherine. But she doesn't know we're calling because I've messed up a time. Shocker. So we're just going to call, but she's from a very special place. That's all I'll say.

Okay. Is our mate Catherine. So nervous. Hello, Catherine speaking. Catherine, it's Tony and Ryan. How are you? Oh, holy shit. Hi.

Now, I know we're not calling at the right time. It's not your fault, so you're allowed to swear and be shocked. Uh-huh. No, that's okay. Amazing. Where are you from, Catherine? Because this is a moment in time. Yes, I'm from Eltham. Yeah, God's country.

Yes. The couple of old Eltham folks hanging out. What school did you go to? Did you go to school there? Yeah, I went to Eltham East and then I went to Templestowe. I went to Eltham East as well. And all my friends, Catherine, they went to Templestowe because that's where – I don't know why everyone went to Templestowe,

but I had to go to Eltham High without my friends like a loser. All my older brothers went to Eltham High. How much older though, Catherine? Yeah, how much older? Because Ryan's 56. They're like five years older than I am. Yeah, 30. Oh, yeah, righto.

Not old enough for Ryan. Now, do you still live in Eltham? Yes, I do still live in Eltham. Oh, mate, we'll be neighbours. You guys can catch up. Yeah, if you old enough, Orion. Now, do you still live in Eltham? Yes, I do still live in Eltham. Oh, mate, we'll be neighbours. You guys can catch up. Yeah, if you ever need a cup of sugar. Yeah. What's that cafe called?

I was going to say you guys could catch up for a coffee. Yeah, yeah, we'll be there. Amazing. Nice. Definitely. Great, perfect. But, sorry, would you mind approving the podcast? Oh, yeah, of course.

Sorry, we've got work to do, mate. Yes, 100%. Okay, after all that, Patrick up there. And I'll course. Sorry, we've got work to do, mate. Yes, 100%. Okay, after all that, we've had a bit of fun there. And I'll see you at Beyonce's Airbnb in a few weeks, mate. You're welcome to the housewarming. Bring your togs and dips and dips. Amazing, I will. Hey, it's Catherine from Eltham and I approve this podcast. I want to live forever.

I want to learn how to fly high. Is it fly or high? I don't know. I thought it was high. It makes more sense to be high. Well, to everyone listening, hi. Hi. That's nice.

Yeah, let's do it. Yeah, I've started. Where are you? Oh, welcome, mate. Thanks for coming in today. Thanks for coming in today, bud. Coming up today, a bit of feedback from the Tarpers about the Tony and Ryan podcast. Tarper, Tony and Ryan podcast.

Some things I need to... Is that DJ Tony making a... It was. I don't think I've met DJ Tony before. There's been some feedback about... We haven't done feedback in a while. Dog stories from last week and some controversy. Yeah.

And I've got an announcement to make about that as well. So you're just making a few statements. A few statements. Do you need me to do anything? I'd like you to be there for moral support. Should I head off? I'd love to go for a swim. It's a beautiful day.

I also have a statement about you and Architectural Digest. Fuck, did not go over well, eh? No, we'll get to don't spoil the feedback, but it did not go well. And also, Atapa found herself in a situation while listening to the podcast, and it's a bit of a quiz about what should she have done. Oh. But she's got some feedback for us as well. Okay.

I would just like to flag, having not, I don't know what you're talking about. We are not good people to ask for advice. I've shat in every car I've ever owned. You shat on someone's towel. Well, it's a very interesting area. Do you know what I mean? Like I don't think that we are actually good sounding boards for advice. You are a funny lady.

Do you reckon you've ever been so funny you've made someone shit? Well, Emily has a story. I made someone shit themselves? No, well, we might need to send some flowers either way. We'll get to that soon. But first, Audio Queen. Tony, in a former life, was a sound engineer. Yeah.

And you're about to hear why. Okay. I technically still am because I cut this podcast. Except for yesterday's episode, Franco cut it. Yep. Good job, Franco. It's only. Franco is the Audio Queen.

It's early November and Tony has really just, oh, Christmas time. Checked out. You were like, where's tomorrow's episode? I was like, mate, fucking, oh, Christmas time. Checked out. You were like, where's tomorrow's episode? I was like, mate, fucking I don't know, figure it out. Tell it to 2023, bud, because I'm gone. Colorado police have had to warn locals to refrain from licking this Sonoran desert toad. Sonoran. Sonoran.

Don't lick the fucking toads is what the cops have said. Is it like a cane toad? In Australia we've got cane toads. We've got cane toads. Well, it's this one that's being found in Colorado up in the hills. Oh. Isn't Colorado a bit of like a weed smoking area? I like how you winked and then just said the word weed.

Yeah. Because then I was like, well, people that are listening can't see anything. You're like, if you know what I mean, kill him. He disappeared, if you know what I mean. I put him in the back of my car. Colorado police. That was really funny, the way that you said, kill him. That's definitely a video.

Franco, when you're cutting this, can you cut that into video? No, you can do your prep after. Stop. You're minimising your workload too much. I am. I really want to go for a swim today. Colorado police have had, like, it's been serious enough that the cops have had to come out and, like,

plead with people in Colorado. Don't lick the toad. Like, bad for the toad, bad for the people? Like, why would the police get involved? Like. So this particular toad, bad for the people? Like, why would the police get involved? So this particular toad has a distinctively low toot. A low toot. Yep, and it has prominent parotid glands that secrete a potent toxin and thus police have said don't lick it because they may experience hallucinations.

The colours that they see, that people can see, aren't the real colours. So their colour perceptions change. They can be a bit lightheaded. But licking a toad, I actually thought it was a bit of like a stereotype, cliche wives' tale that you can hallucinate. But it's actually like they've gone, yeah, but seriously, that came from somewhere. Don't lick the Suriname desert toad.

Because do we ever worry that sometimes a warning does the opposite? Absolutely. Like surely, oh, don't lick this table. What's the first thing you're going to do? Lick the fucking table. So I learnt this thing in marketing class and it's this kind of thing about, it's called like a nudge. So when you don't like tell people to do something, but when you like don't lift the toad, you're kind of nudging them to go, hey, guess what this does?

So one of the things was apparently there were these like sales guys out on the road and by the way, everyone, please don't. Like apparently you could like enter some buttons and like Jackie commission up and do a bit of a dodgy and like pay yourself a bit extra. And so they sent this email saying, guys, please don't do this. And then everyone went. So you just alerted everybody to the fucking hack of how to get paid more. And all these sales people went, oh, people are doing. I didn't even think of that. If everyone else is doing it, I might as well.

Yeah. And now I'm finding out. And they're like, lots of people are doing it. Please don't do it. And they're like, oh, if everyone's doing it. And now you've told me how are doing it. I didn't even think of that. If everyone else is doing it, I might as well. Yeah, and now I'm finding out. And they're like, lots of people are doing it, please don't do it. And they're like, oh, if everyone's doing it, and now you've told me how to do it, I mean, thanks for the email, guys. Yeah, thanks for the literal cheat code.

Yeah. It's like Motherlode in Sims. I've never played The Sims, but I've seen that meme online. So I'm hoping that that means something to someone. What you're about to hear is the sounds of the frog. Don't forget the distinctive little toot. Yep What you're about to hear is the sounds of the frog. Don't forget the distinctive of the low toot. Yep. You're about to hear a lady from Colorado.

She finds the frog. She licks the frog. And then she gets, hi. Okay. Toot. Toot. Do you know what a ribbit frog sounds like? That's a low toot.

Toot. Oh, sorry. I forgot the accent toot tony what sound does a frog make well yeah but you said it was a low toot like it's low oh jesus i'm sorry if this is your first episode. Ribbit. Oh, my God. I read something online about not licking those toads. Ribbit.

I better lick it just to find out what happened. Oh, my God. That blue looks purple. How would you know? The different colours? How would you know it's blue if it looked purple? Oh, what's happening? That is definitely a colour.

Oh, that red light looks green. I better drive through it. This is a cautionary tale. Oh, this feels amazing. I'll take heaps of toads home for my friends. Fuck. All right. Woo!

Boo! Oh, no. The boys in orange have turned up. If she was me, ma'am, we believe you got toads in the back seat. Ribbit, ribbit. Is that what you're talking about? Ma'am, I can see them. And her eyes are like this.

You might want to see photos of this one. Veronica Rajek from Slovakia said her body is too sexy and too dangerous for social media. The Instagram model said she's constantly trolled and body shamed because people assume I'm privileged and they're jealous and they try to take me down because I'm so hot. Some people are even reporting my Instagram account because they are offended by my slim look and I'm losing out on money and work because of it. Well, no one should be shamed either way for what their body looks like.

No. But hot people privilege is a thing. As someone who is not hot and has spent a lot of time with people that are hot, you do get treated differently. Well. That is a real thing. And I will die on that hill. A suburban dad from outer suburban Perth also believes he's too sexy

and too dangerous for social media. And listen to him describing what happens when he goes to Scarborough Beach in Perth in his budgie smugglers. Fuck, it's a beautiful day today. I might go on down to Scabs. Yeah, sweetheart, do you want to come? Nah, you busy? More birds for me. So this is him driving down. He's driven down. He's there. He's gotten out of his white Hilux ute. Yep. Oh, looking pretty good ladies, aren't I? Oh, what do you mean, mate? Yeah, I can wear this.

It's my right to wear these budgie smugglers out. Mate, you're going to, mate, I can't, oh, my God. So he's just been told by the guys from Bondi Rescue that he can't wear his budgie smugglers. And this is the guy from Bondi Rescue. Yeah, mate, because you've got to swim between the flags and we can't have someone distracting people like this. This is not good.

Oh, well, mate, I'll have you know that I've been wearing these budgie smugglers for 40 years. Never had a complaint. Only compliments, if you know what I mean. Do you mind taking a snap from me in straight? Actually, sir, I can't. It's too dangerous.

Oh, your camera's broken. There's smoke coming out of your iPhone. I thought you might have said there's smoke coming out of your asshole. It's like, whoa. Shouldn't have that chili on the way down. Sorry. Sorry. Finally, you might have seen this story last week.

I still can't believe it. A man in China was hospitalized after he ate a whole live crab to take revenge because the crab pinched his daughter. So the crab pinches this guy's daughter and he's like, fucking not on my watch, not my daughter. So he just eats the live crab and the crab fucking claws the shit out of him and he's in hospital with a cut up face. How big's the crab? How big are we talking?

Like a small... Like a mud crab? Like a side plate, yeah. What? Is that like protective dad wholesome vibes? I just... Or just the dumbest fucking thing you've ever heard? I just can't ever imagine being like, oh,

imagine if you got stung by a bee and I went, well, fuck you, and I ate the bee. Like that's just ridiculous. Have you seen My Girl? No. McCulloch Elkin? No. Yeah, he fights a bee.

He doesn't. Does he? Does he win? He does well. Comes out on top. No. That's good. But for me it's like, you know those people, like the hotheads,

that are just like always looking for a fight? Like the crab didn't like start a fight. He's just like being a crab. Yeah. Can you imagine the crab then looks at the dad and he's like, oh, come on, you want a piece of this? You want a piece of this? Oh, stick them up.

I just also imagine thinking like getting so angry at an animal for doing, as you say, what it's supposed to be doing. And then eating it. I'll show you. Yeah, like, show it what? It's got no sentience. Well, you wouldn't fucking believe it. A similar story has happened in Perth, the suburban dad.

Oh, well, not on his budgie, Douglas. Yeah. He was at the beach with his daughter and they saw a shark who was circling the child. So suburban dad from out of suburban Perth. He got the daughter to shore and then went back into the water and tried to seek revenge on the shark. He's had a few drinks too.

Oh, I fucking tell you what, obviously this shark doesn't watch the news. He hasn't seen what Mick Fanning can do because I can do bloody way more than that. Mick Fanning punched a shark. Australian surfer punched a shark. Oh, you fucking come around my daughter, mate. I'll fucking tell you what fucking for. You've got no fucking right to come near my daughter, mate.

What are you thinking? She's a young'un. What was that? Yeah, can't fucking talk, can you? Shark. You're underwater. I'll tell you what I'll do. I'll take your fins off.

Then how will you swim, mate? I'm, like, talking to nothing. Yeah, you're really aggressively looking at something. Then you can't fucking swim, mate. Then what will you fucking do? Yeah, you fucking swim away. Oh, shit. I'll buy you. do. Yeah, you fucking swim away. I'll buy you.

I don't know if anyone else is in our office today, but I fucking hope there is and they heard some of that. What's going on in there? What I'm imagining is like back in the day when someone would be like, do you want a fucking piece of me? You'd like slap your chest? That suburban guy. Do you want to go? Do you want to go? Do you want to fucking go, mate?

You're a great wife. Well, I'm a great dad. Fuck yeah. Hey, it's Catherine from Eltham and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Tomorrow on the show. An announcement. Yes. And I'd say quite a big announcement.

Thank you very much. Yep, a big announcement. It's not about me. It's about someone else on the team. Someone else. Franco. And question in advance. Question. Because I am your hype man.

Yes. Would you like me to, like, jazz you up tomorrow and, like, introduce? Or is this your time? You know what I'm saying? I don't know. I haven't really decided yet. Well, if you leave up. Yeah, I want you to hype me up, I guess. Yeah, okay.

Too much. Except the last time you hyped me up. Yeah, okay. Too much. Except the last time you hyped me up, it didn't go so good. What happened? Oh, with the architecture? Well, we'll get to that in a second. But tomorrow. Okay. A great day.

Okay. Well, the few people that I hope are very excited about that announcement are a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Yep. David J. Fernandez. Thank you so much. Thanks, Dave. Adam Up Church.

Oh, Adam Up. What's the opposite of a church? Hell? Hell? Down hell? Upchurch, downhill. Hell. Fuck.

Drew Fitzgerald, Joe Ferguson, thank you so much. Julie Claridge. I went to school with a girl called Bec Claridge, and she was really, really nice. I wonder if that's her mum or sister or something. school with a girl called bette claridge and she was really really nice i wonder if that's her mom or sister yeah uh cheldon gray lane flag rachel austin mcadam and daylon karangaroa i love it when you curl those thank you whatever they were technical speak yeah um but a big thank you to all those people that love watching all of our exclusive content over at our Patreon. You fucking love to see it. You love to see it.

Tomorrow as well, Normal or Nara is back. And for people who watch free-to-air TV, my wife does something while watching free-to-air TV that I reckon no one outside of her family does. Is it fucking switch it off and put Netflix on like a fucking adult? It should be. Yeah. But it's not. All right, first of all, we've got some feedback here. Yeah. But it's not. All right, first of all. Yep.

We've got some feedback here. Okay. Last week we spoke to a tarpa who produces, Tarpa Josh, produces the Architectural Digest videos, Open Door. He goes to celebrity houses and films those beautiful videos and we love watching them. If you haven't watched them before, do it. They are very, very good. And it is nice having a little nosy.

A sneak peek into the other side. It's like how, you know, on TV when someone, like their neighbour's house is for sale and you kind of go over and. Wander in. Yeah. Now that you live in the suburbs, do you think that you'll do that? Because you've got legit neighbours now. So at the open house for the house we've just moved into,

there are a lot of people like catching up. Like, oh, hey, Steve, how you been? And it turns out they were the neighbours. So they'd been looking at the outside going, fuck, I wonder what's going on in there. Well, they've seen all the build, because it's a new house pretty much. And so they've seen builders and tradies and it's been a hectic. And so you're like.

And then they looked on the photos online and they're like, that looks a bit like an overseas Airbnb. Yeah, and they weren't even trying to be like coy about it. When they got in, they're like, oh, hey, Ben. Yeah, so we come and have a look. Yeah, can you believe I didn't take the bins out last week? Yeah, exactly. You know what I mean?

A neighbour chat. So there's a lot of that. Yeah, a lot of that. But it is nice to just, you know, see how other people live. Have a noisy at their furniture, et cetera. Then after an interesting chat to hear about how the show's made and what it's like meeting the celebrities and actually going to their houses and stuff like that, Josh and I thought it'd be funny

to mention that you had been selected to be on Architectural Digest's World's Greatest Courtyards. Yep. I assume. Which is believable. See, that's the thing. I assumed that was totally unbelievable that you would go haha you guys are idiots thanks to arpa josh for joining us

however however you believed it and then i felt like an arsehole when i had to tell you that it was in fact not correct and i thought tony's the only one who actually went for it. No, not the case. I was not the only person that thought it was real. Every single person that listens to this podcast also believed it, except for one comment that I saw and it was a bit mean. Oh, okay. I won't say all. I'll say lots.

Lots. Cue the press conference. I, Brian John Dunn. Full name? Ryan John Dunn. Ryan Jonathan Dunn. Ryanathan Jonathan Dunnathan would like to apologise to Tony, Felicia Lodge and the TARPA community because we don't do pranks. We don't do pranks. We don't do pranks.

It wasn't intended to be a prank, but as you believed it, it sort of became a prank. But I know that's not what we're about and I'm sorry. I actually also have a statement. We got an email from TARPA Josh afterwards and he said, oh, my God, thanks so much for having me on. Tony, I'm so sorry. Yeah.

And he added me to the thread of the email of you guys going backwards and forwards organising the phone call. Did he? Yes. I didn't realise you could do that. So he just, like, went reply to you and then added me so I could see the whole thread. I didn't realise that was possible.

Was that legal? I don't know. That feels a bit. that's what happened. That feels a bit. When you add someone to the group chat and they can scroll up. And they can scroll up. Oh, not good. Okay, continue.

No, let me finish, please. Sorry. I scrolled down because I thought I would really like to see, because you said I did not organise it as a prank. I honestly thought that you would know straight away. Tapa Josh mentions the word prank a few times. Yeah. You never do.

Thank you. The whole time during the organising, you said, she's going to know straight away, like it's fine. She's going to know. So I know that you're coughing it online at the moment. I just wanted to come in hot and say, you did not mean for it to come across like that. It didn't go great.

I was going to say, it doesn't mean I wasn't wrong. No. But my intentions. But at no point were you like, oh, she's going to fall for it. She's going to look so stupid. No. You did not set it up that way. In fact, when he said prank, I actually said, nah, nah, nah.

You said she's going to know, like, all good. I'm pretty sure that verbatim you said we don't do that. So I would just like to say stop coming for you because you tried. Thank you. Yeah. It didn't go well. I'm not saying it did. But, however.

Intentions are nine-tenths of the law. Isn't that what they're saying? Nope. Okay. Thank you for clarifying. That's okay. Please never go into private DMs again. It wasn't private.

It was sent to me. Tarpid, he's just creating trouble, that guy. Next up, Emily Donaldson. Oh, actually, this might, should she? Shmemily Shmonaldson. Shmembly bleedimble. I was enjoying my morning commute, having my trusty smoothie in the car, hanging out with my mates Tony and Ryan, listening to the podcast on the way in,

and I was feeling a little bit nauseous. Don't really know why, but I think my body is rejecting full-time work. My body wants me to be a lady of leisure. I get it. Oh, I fucking get that. On the scooter this morning, I thought, imagine if I just didn't go to work today and I work an hour a day. Yeah.

Yeah, I was like, oh, geez, tough. Imagine if I didn't have to go to work. Anyway, I'll see you in an hour a day. Yeah. Yeah, I was like, oh, geez, tough. Imagine if I didn't have to go to work. Anyway, I'll see you in an hour, babe. Yeah. Then the discussion takes a turn for worse on the podcast. For some reason we start talking about flossing teeth with toenails. Remember that guy? Yeah, how could I fucking forget?

Yeah, he bit off his toenails to the right size so then he could use them to get. So Emily's brain starts doing the logistics and she starts really thinking about it. And she was already feeling a little bit nauseous. And then suddenly she's like, yep, I think it's happening. So she's feeling nauseous. This made her worse.

And then you said something. Is she in the car? Yeah, she's driving to work. She's feeling nauseous. The toenail made her feel worse. Tony says a hilarious joke and she just goes, and has to throw up and it's like, you know, I've got two seconds.

What do I do? Yeah, as someone who has shit and thrown up in a car, not good. She'd half finished her smoothie so she spewed into the remainder of the smoothie cup. Yep, I'm trying not to dry reach because everyone hates that when I do that. But sometimes it's unavoidable, but I didn't do it.

I would let the record show. Well, we're not done yet. Emily then has some options. She's still 20 minutes away from work. Oh, my God. What do you mean options? Fucking get out of jail free card. Hey, guys, can't come in today.

I've just been sick. I think it must have been something I ate. See you tomorrow. We've saved her from going to work for the day. Well, that wasn't one of her options, but I think that's on Emily. You're a fucking idiot. D, that's the correct option.

Let me give you her options. Always take Tony and Ryan's D. That's the option. I've always said that. I'm always trying to offer a D, but she's only got A, B and C. A, says Emily, do I pull over, tip it on the grass and wait three business days for someone that was obviously raised in the country?

What's going on? Oh, okay. I see what she's saying. Is it A, pull over, tip it on the grass and wait three business days for someone to let me back onto the highway? She's on the highway. Oh, yeah.

Commuting, peak hour traffic. Everyone's going 100 k's on the highway. You can't just slip back in. Okay, I get it. It took me a while. Maybe you should have pre-read this. I thought, that's a funny message. I'll just put that straight in. That'd be fun. B. Do I wind down my window in the traffic

and dump the smoothie on the road out the window? No! Also not an option. From my Kia Sportage. That's a very funny detail, Emily. I like that. Oh, no, wait. No, no, no.

She goes, oh, fuck this up again. I really should have read this. For fuck's sake. If I tip it out on the road, it'll probably end up on some Karen's car with a Kia Sportage who will get really fucked off at me. Also a very funny detail. Yeah. C. C.

Yep. Do you carry on driving with a full to the brim chunky smoothie with no lid on for the rest of the journey? You okay, mate? Yep. And then try and clean it out in the work car park, only to have one of your colleagues walk past and say, bit of a waste of a smoothie, Em.

You're telling me, ****, says Emily. Oh, wow. So guess which option she chose. Surely C. But D was the best option. I've created an option that she doesn't have to go to work. Yeah. Could you imagine after an already awful morning?

Because then she's tipping out the smoothie. Obviously the person doesn't know what's in the smoothie. Yeah. Bit of a waste, isn't it? Fuck off, mate. But, I mean, who's going to say that? They'd just think that in a bitchy way and then keep walking. I think sees what happened.

Oh. See, I wouldn't clean it out. I'd just ditch the keep cup or whatever it was in and go, you know what? Yum. See you later. See you later. See you later. I still think she should have called in sick.

That would have been the best option here. Why can't you come to work today? I was listening to Tony and Ryan. I would have skipped over that detail. Maybe just the throw up would have been enough. All right. And finally, final piece of feedback today. Okay.

Last week, we shared a story from a tarpa. Yep. About a dead dog. We've had a few weird dead dog stories. And I've actually got multiple announcements within this announcement. Yep. The story was that this lady is house-sitting. The dog passes away.

The owners are overseas. The owners say, hey, if you can just take the dog to the vet, they'll take care of everything. Yeah. She doesn't have a car, doesn't have a heap of cash for a taxi, so she decides to get the train. She ends up getting robbed. The dog's in the suitcase that the guy takes.

Because the guy was trying to hit on her and she goes, oh, it's audio equipment. Because obviously you're not going to say it's a dead dog in a fucking suitcase on a train. Because that's fucking weird. Turns out the guy's into audio equipment and he robs it. Yeah. Now, a lot of people.

We were beside ourselves. I couldn't believe it. We couldn't believe this story. I couldn't believe it. Because we told a dead dog story previously. Yep. First of all, before I get into the nitty gritty of this story. Yep. No more dead dog stories. No. I don't believe it. We couldn't believe this story. I couldn't believe it because we told a dead dog story previously. Yep. First of all, before I get into the nitty gritty of this story. Yep.

No more dead dog stories. No. I don't like it. We did say that that would be it. Did we? Yeah. Well, I just want to reiterate. Reiterate.

Yep. Please don't correct a man. What's the word? Am I allowed to fucking talk? Yeah, you're allowed to talk. Reiterate. Let me reiterate. Nice. No more dead dog stories. Yeah, you're allowed to talk. Reiterate. Let me reiterate. Nice.

No more dead dog stories. Yep. They're off. Yep. I know they're funny and weird, but it doesn't matter how funny and weird they are. Yep. I don't like it. Well, especially after we've been burned by this one.

Wow. Someone goes, ah, this seems to sound a lot like this viral story from four years ago. Okay, that's a bit weird. It's a very specific story. Very specific. You know, you're not getting that mixed up with your mate Joe fucking making up a story. Yep.

And then someone posts this other article going, that old story about the dog in the suitcase, myth or bust or whatever. Myth or bust. It's one of these like old wives' tales that's been told a thousand times and then there's like a 4chan thread about where it originated and who told it. And it became increasingly clear that our tarpa mate, this didn't happen to them a few weeks ago.

It's too specific. It's too specific, yeah. But we've been had Because we didn't I'd never seen this story online before Maybe I'm not hanging out In the right corners of the internet Or maybe I am I would say maybe you're hanging out

In the right areas of the internet And I'm not seeing this story Yeah And I was very taken Because I got a few DMs Of people being like Hey, hate to break it to you But that story is not true

Yeah Or I don't You know And I was like It makes us look like liars. Well, look like fucking dickheads because here I am talking up an exclusive. Yeah. We're beep, beep, beep, beep, beep, I'm a viral.

So behind the scenes, this came through on Patreon. Yep. And you were looking through the Patreon and you sort of read the first sentence and went, I'll forward this to Ryan. Yep. He can do a follow-up. Yes, because I was like, I don't want to ruin you telling me the story. I'll flick it to you.

So then you forward it on and I read it to my wife, Bridget. And you go, holy fuck. This is unbelievable. Bridget's like, what the fuck? That's the craziest thing ever. I was like, should I tell the story? She's like, you have to. That's like fucking insane.

It's an amazing story. But is it just a tale? Wow, a story it is. Yes. A truth it is not. We gave the name, I think was it Miss A? But I've got the phone number of the tarpa who sent the story. Now she goes, oh, it was my friend.

Did she? Yeah. Did she actually? Well, it's not her anymore, it's her friend. But I still think. The story's changing. I still think. She goes, no, it happened to my friend about four years ago

and then the story went viral. Is she claiming it's the original? Like when my wife claims she invented the feature nail. The feature nail, yes. Should we call the tar part? And just because she got us. And just ask. Because if someone, okay.

Egg on our face, you know. This is what I'm picturing. If you hear a story like that and you go, oh, maybe I'll send them the fucking that old classic. And then they ram with it. She's probably listening going, what fucking idiots believe me. It's like the AD prank. That I'm like, oh my God, they want to come and film my courtyard.

Everyone's in on it. And you're like, oh, I didn't think that it would go this far. Everyone's in on it except gullible Tony and gullible Ryan. Yeah. All right. Should we call? But we're going to call once. If she doesn't answer, then I feel like we need to admit defeat.

You know what I mean? Okay. Maybe twice. Maybe twice. Hello? Hello, is that ***? Yes. Hey, it's Tony and Ryan, your favourite podcaster.

How are you doing? Oh, my God, are you serious? Yes, it is. Wait, are you serious? No, this is not a prank. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I was just listening to your podcast.

I'm just shopping in Kmart and I was listening on the way and feeling like a piece of absolute. It's taking all of my energy to listen to it again because I love it so much. But I felt so fucking stupid and I was so annoyed because my friend. Hang on, hang on, hang on. Hang on, hang on. Hang on, okay.

So we're trying to figure out what's happened here. All right, so what we need to tell you, we'll beep your name, all right, in the beginning. But Miss A, what we are just talking about is obviously the story that you sent through yeah so yeah uh first of all just did this happen to your friend no to my it was so it's my best friend's brother's ex-girlfriend Turn it off. No fucking way. Yeah, and she told us this story like, oh, fucking what, eight, ten years ago. And it was the best story I've ever heard in my life.

But I know it's a lot. But I was like, twist and turns. I couldn't believe it. And so when you talked about yours, I was like, oh, my God, this reminds me of this frigging story. Yeah. So hang on. So a lot of people in our Facebook group are saying

it's fake, it's a hoax, it's been doing the rounds. That it went crazy viral on Reddit. But are you backing it in that it was the original tale was in fact a real tale of your friend's cousin's girlfriend's ex-partner? I don't know if it was fucking real to be honest now.

Your story is changing. I rang my friend. I rang my friend and I was like, hey, you know that story? And she's like, oh, yeah, man, that's the best story. And they tell it at parties. And I'm like, I don't think it's fucking real. That doesn't legitimise it. I've told fucking stories at parties that I've read online.

Like telling it in a story, you don't go, oh, fuck, it must be real. So you said, and what did they say? She couldn't believe it. The whole family's up in arms. That we told the story or that it happened? No, that it's not real. We didn't know it wasn't real. This chick told it like it was her story.

So my best friend's brother, his ex-girlfriend, used to tell this story like it happened to her. She told us it was this real story that happened to her. And we couldn't believe it. What I'm saying is that you guys are realising now that you've been had as well. Yes. We thought it was this. I've been telling this story for years.

Not to everyone, obviously, but like at parties when I have a few drinks. And I thought it was 100% because it was the craziest story I've ever heard. Who makes that shit up? So we thought, oh, my God, there's egg on our face. Kate's done us in. But really, there's egg on all of our faces. We're all realising. I couldn't believe it.

The phone calls that I made after I found out it wasn't, I was so pissed. And then I felt like such a piece of absolute crap. Oh, my God. Because you guys, I was, yeah, anyway. She's a fucking ex-girlfriend for a reason. What a line B to work. Wow. What a Carla fucking cunt.

I think your best friend's cousin's brother should get back with her just to dump her again. Yep, me too. And then she goes, oh, but I got robbed and I was carrying a parakeet that I fucking. I couldn't fucking believe it. Yeah, because to be fair, we were calling up ready to rumble, but it feels like we are actually now all on the same team.

We are on the same team. Yeah, no, that's legit. I was like, oh, you guys are going to think I've deliberately tried to. Wow, we did think about that. We did. I bet, yeah. No, that's fair. Well, I'm glad we've called and got to the bottom of this now.

Me too. Wow. What a mystery. Oh, my God. They'll probably do a Netflix special about this. Yeah, four-part documentary. Yeah. All right, well, enjoy shopping in Kmart.

So glad we straightened this out. Thank you. I'm sorry. This is like, I can't believe you guys called. I'm dying. Thank you so much. Well, you know, it is good to get to the bottom of these things. I feel very relieved that we weren't hard.

Well, we were. We had four layers removed. Yeah. I mean, the best friends, ex-boyfriends, girlfriends, cousins. When she said that, I was like, fucking righto. Same. Because I'm like, okay, it's gone from being you to being a best mate to now being fucking six fucking degrees of separation.

Well, you know what? We're all learning together. So now what it means is that not only were Tony and Ryan had, but the whole internet. Yeah. You know what I mean? Everybody's read this story and gone, what a crazy story. But it wasn't just us.

What a Carla Conti. What do you love to see? Get us back on a positive note. All right. My love to see it very quickly. Ashton Kutcher. You may remember Ashton Kutcher. Everybody knows who he is. Just thought I'd throw to hear it very quickly. Ashton Kutcher. You may remember Ashton Kutcher. Everybody knows who he is.

Just thought I'd throw that in there. Anyway, Ashton Kutcher has just raised over a million dollars for his charity by running the New York City Marathon. I saw him doing the running, but I didn't realise it was for a charity. Yeah. That's incredible. So he has a charity called Thorn, and it raises money to protect children from sexual exploitation

and education through kids on the internet and things like that. And he did the marathon in under four hours as an amateur. Like he's never run a marathon before. Apparently that's like a fantastic time for someone that's never done it before. Under four hours, first marathon, unbelievable. So he's been training for fucking six months and he's gone through all these injuries and stuff, but over a million dollars. Well done. been training for fucking six months and he's gone through all these injuries and stuff, but over a million dollars. Well done. Isn't that

fucking insane? He's an incredible dude. He's one of those guys you feel like you should want to hate him for some reason, just because he was all because he was like a prankster and like a bit of a brat of a kid or whatever. But he like does some fucking great stuff, doesn't he? Yeah. And I just thought you fucking love to see that. How nice. How nice.

You know how we haven't heard, when I say this name, you go, oh, yeah, we haven't heard from her in a while. Like Ashton Kutcher. You may remember him from that 70s show. Tapa, Liana, Bruton, Letty Spaghetti. Oh, Bruton, Tina, Tana, Tuna. Yeah. We haven't heard from her in a while, have we?

No. And now we know why. Because she got robbed at the train station. She was the dog. She was in the suitcase. And this guy thought she was a piece of DJ equipment and he's been robbing it. Let's not go down too far on that analogy.

Liana says, I finally moved into my own first ever home and I've managed to buy my own house from selling press on nails on Etsy. What? So she's been making, what's a press-on? Yeah, press-on nail, yeah. So she's been making these nails and nails and bits and pieces and selling them on Etsy and she's done, and she's been working her ass off so when more orders come in,

she goes, shit, I've got to keep making them, to the point where Tapa Liana Brunelletti Spaghetti has bought her own house with the money she's made selling them on Etsy. What? Is that just fucking insane? That is so cool. Unbelievable.

You know on Monday how you, like, start the blog? Yep. She's fucking 12 steps ahead. Set up the Etsy store. Lana Brukatina, she's doing amazing. Can you share her Etsy store in today's podcast, Graeme? I can. I'll reply and ask her to send it. Ask Lena Tuna Kamanina for her Etsy store in today's podcast? I can. I'll reply and ask her to send it.

Yeah, ask Leena Tuna Kamanina for her Etsy information. Yeah, because when I spoke to Liana Bruchetta, I said, I haven't heard from you in a while. And she goes, oh, fuck, now I know what you've been up to. Here I was thinking you were getting your name changed every six hours. Yeah, but it turns out you were busy. Yeah. And, you know, like a fucking set of press-on nails,

they couldn't be more than $10 or $20. She's selling a lot of units. That's a lot of nails. Yeah. Maybe they're really expensive. Yeah. I've sold one. She only needs to sell one.

For a million dollar press-on. Well, Liana, Bruce Liano, Bruce McIvaney Liani. We're very proud of you. That's fucking awesome. You love to say that. That is fucking awesome. Speaking of you love to say it. Yeah.

Tomorrow's a big day. Yeah, it is. Are you nervous? Am I allowed to have the announcement as my you love to say it? Because it's pretty cool. For tomorrow? Yeah. No.

Oh, okay. Well, I've got another one planned, but I just thought I'd ask you if I could snake too. Actually, I think I'm one short. Okay, you could use it. No, because we would have just talked about it. We'd talk about it and go, oh, my love to say it was that. See ya. Yeah, that's fine.

We'll see you tomorrow for a big day. Big day. Big day. Love you guys. See you tomorrow. Meow.