Toni and Ryan - Find Brittney!

Episode Date: February 19, 2023

CAN WE FIND BRITTNEY?!?! Love ya!!! Toni xo Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. Author Tony Lodge is here. My name is Ryan and we're calling Ohio. And this is Catherine. We'll say Ohio. Do that and see if Catherine laughs. Yeah, I will. Hello? Is that Catherine? Oh my gosh. Is this right? It is, and Tony has something to say to you. Oh, hi, Catherine.

Oh, my God. I can't believe you laughed at that. This is so surreal. This is amazing. Oh, where have we caught you, Catherine? What are you up to? I have been sitting around the phone anxiously awaiting and practicing my TARP approval, and my husband's been laughing at me

and making fun of me, but it's so worth it. Well, if you've been practicing, we'd love to hear it. Catherine, will you approve this podcast? Yes, absolutely. Great practicing. Worth it. Worth it. Hey, it's Catherine from Ohio and I approve this podcast.

Welcome to the podcast. Hello. Sorry if I sound a bit... Because Tony just forced me to eat a brownie. Don't. No. Don't do that. No. How many times did I say no?'t. No. Don't do that. No. How many times did I say no?

Once. Three times. And then I asked you again. And then I ate it. Yeah. So let's not paint you as this perfect person who went, oh, no, I shouldn't. And I asked you 15 times.

I said, do you want some of this? It's really good. And you went, no, thanks. And I went, Cam and I just shared half of it. You should have some. In the last few hours. And you went, okay. In the last few hours, how many times have you forced

that brownie upon me? Once. The one time just then. Blasphemy. What? You threw it at me across the table earlier. I actually said that I wanted it and you went, well, I bought it for myself.

I would never buy brownie for myself. Well, that's what you said. Cookies, yes. Have you seen the chocolate chip cookies they do and they're on the top so you never notice them but then it's too late and you go, fuck, they've got those cookies. I am a, I don't know if it's the same thing. You're a carrot cake guy.

Or a slice. Banana bread. You like banana bread. If it's really a naughty day, a fucking caramel or vanilla slice. Oh, caramel slice. Yeah, with the biscuit base and then the chocolate on the top. Yeah, that is good. I fucking murder a fucking caramel slice.

Yeah. My sister, her best friend Laura is like a- Is a caramel slice. Really good. It's like a really good- I don't think- My sister listens to this and I don't think I've ever told her this, but for her 21st birthday, her best friend Laura made her like a gift box full.

You know those hard gift boxes you just like lift the lid off and it was full of caramel. Like it probably would have been like three or four trays worth like in this thing. And I reckon this. Did your sister eat any of it? I don't think so. I think over the course of a month I probably polished the whole thing off

and then there was probably like mum and dad were probably sneaking a bit here and there. I did the most damage. And my sister Libby, she doesn't eat a lot of sweet stuff. She doesn't really like it. And like a month later, she goes, oh, you know what? I'll treat myself, have a little bit of that. And there was like one bit left.

And she goes, who ate this? And I was like, who's done that? It must have been dad. Call the police. Libby, if you are listening, I don't think I've ever told you that, but I ate the slice that Laura gave me. I'm so sorry. It was in a beautiful pink box.

Like it was for her 21st birthday. Oh, fuck. Anyway, yeah, I'm such a snack fiend. My mum used to tell me that everything she enjoyed had mint in it so I wouldn't eat it. So like until only recently, this is in the book actually, until recently I thought that Chiquitos, the chocolate bar, had mint in them.

Torbs offered me one and he goes, do you want some of this? And I went, no, I don't like mint. And he went, what? What are you talking about? And I was like, oh, then my mum's over at Chocolate Bar, but yeah, I don't like mint. And he goes. She got you real good.

Yeah. And all these years later I was still like, yep, Chiquitos, I got mint in them. So she was lying about the snack. She was lying about the Australian Children's Choir. Was your mum... Did she ever tell the truth? Yeah.

I mean, I guess we'll never know. Yeah, I can't ask her. Speaking of that, we've got an update this week. On my mum. Of the Children's Choir. I think it's pretty final. Yeah, well. I think we all know what happened.

No, on the choir. Because she said that you couldn't get in the choir. From WA. And it turns out she was fucking lying about that. What else was she lying about? I don't know. I'll never know now. If anyone's listening and you know your mum, drop me a line.

She took them to the grave. Literally, literally took them to the grave. All right. Do you have people that you DM back and forth with? Maybe you reply to an Instagram story or two, but you've never actually really hung out with them in person? Yeah. What do you call this person?

Because over the journey, I keep hearing stories about Tony's friends and I think, fuck, this bitch has hundreds of friends. She knows everyone. She's hanging out with everyone. And then it only takes a few follow-up questions like, oh, where do you know them from? That I learned that you don't actually know them at all. And then I have to sheepishly say, oh, we just follow each other on Instagram.

Or I follow them on Instagram and they don't follow me back. How do you know them? I follow them on Instagram. Oh,'t follow me back. How do you know them? I follow them on Instagram. Oh, that doesn't really know them. That's not the same thing. Oh, I did something the other day that people say about us. I was telling Bridget this story and I said, oh, a friend was telling me and I went, no, that was actually a podcast.

I heard that somewhere else. Yeah. With Bert Kreischner and Tom Segura. Oh, yeah. You love their pod. Yeah. Two bears, one cave. And I said, oh, a friend was telling me.

And I went, no, actually it wasn't. Yep. But we were all capable. I think it's one of those things because to start off a conversation or a story, say you're talking to your mate and you go, oh, so this chick I follow on Instagram, and you feel like you've got to give a whole backstory. Like you go, oh, so she got follow on Instagram.

She does fitness stuff. She's from New Zealand and X, Y, Z. Now you're ready for the story. Where if you go, oh, a mate of mine from New Zealand, she was saying, you know, you just sound like such a cock when you have to do the whole story beforehand. Do you think, and this is me just thinking out loud, that it's maybe unfair on your real friends?

No. Because then you're just categorizing any arsehole on the internet as your friend but like what about your real friend but the word friend doesn't sound that serious like i think that the word friend is like quite low-key it's the same as like a best friend isn't a person it's a tear well that's that's your theory yeah because it's like and me decaling saidaling said that first, I'm not going to claim that I coined that. But because you can have best friends, like best friends are not one person, but it's like a level of friend. It's not one, but you don't have a best friend. You've got many friends of that tier.

Yep. Because maybe, oh, my God, maybe it's because I throw the word friend around that I then feel like a real friend has to become a best friend. That's what I'm saying. So I'm, like, levelling up too early. Yeah. How many best friends have you got? 25?

No, not 25. So Torbs. Yep. Jag and Lane. Yep. My best friend, Aiton, who I went to uni with, Jane. Yep. I feel like I have to say you too.

Yeah, you're going to have to though. Cam, how does it feel to be a, I guess I have to? It'll do. It'll do. No, well, you know, I've been friends with Cam for a long time. That counts. Tim, 100%. Tim, I've been friends with Cam for a long time. That counts. Tim, 100% that. Tim, I'd say he's one of my best friends.

We've been friends for a really long time. We talk on the phone a lot. I have a picture of him in my wallet of the two of us together, a little Polaroid. I won't stop hearing the end of it. I'd say he's one of my best friends. I think that's too many best friends. No, but it's a tier.

But I see what you're saying. You see what I'm getting? Yeah. So what about a good friend? I think you've discovered it, though. I think you it's a tier. But I see what you're saying. You see what I'm getting? Yeah. So what about a good friend? I think you've discovered it, though. I think you've figured it out. What about a good friend, though? Oh, we're good friends.

Yeah. But what does that imply? What's better than a friend? I think that because I get confused when you say friend and it's just someone you follow on the internet. Yeah. But I feel like we're friends. I'm not saying you don't like them.

I'm not saying that there's no, like, mutual respect. I just feel like a friend is more than just a few DMs. Because I feel like we're on the – so if it's all a tier system, right? Well, according to your theory. I'll go with you. But if it's levels, right, of relationship. You're in my top tier. It's –

A relationship. You're in my top tier. Yeah. I'm actually emotional. You should be. What a great way to start the week. Will you need God maternity leave when I take paternity leave? What's God? Oh, like God mother leave?

Yeah. Yes. Okay. And it's actually going to be longer than yours. I'm going to need a month off. I've planned a trip to Italy and all six of us are going. Side trip, yeah. So what I feel like is that it goes like best friend, good friend, friend.

And then. Then people on the internet. And then online friends and then like an acquaintance. Okay. It's almost like we need to create a level between like someone you either work with or know just like mutually or something. Yeah. Before friend, something needs to swoop in. Almost.

Do you agree? Yeah. Yeah. I propose we give a name. So that I. So just to stop using the word friend friend just to make it like easier to understand yeah and just to kind of set the tone and I've come up with a few ideas and they're all fucking terrible great um friend didn't feel right friend's not right I do agree friend's probably

not right but then at what point do they graduate to being a friend maybe speaking on the phone or an audio but who does that who's talking on the phone i talk on phones well i used to but like if you meeting in person for a coffee if you started chatting to someone on instagram or whatever and you got along with them really well you're not necessarily going to call them up or they might live in a different country or city or something so maybe you're not necessarily going to call them up. Or they might live in a different country or city or something, so maybe you're not going to meet up. But if you were messaging to the point where it was like... Daily or regularly. Then that would put you into that next category, I think.

Yeah. Case by case basis. Case by case basis. Yeah. Okay, so what have you got? Oh, I actually fucking cringe because these are so shit. And I think the reason we don't have a name for it is because it's so hard to name. It is so hard to name because I've been thinking about it too.

And it honestly, it's almost like you can't use the word friend in it because then it becomes mean. I'm just going to say this. And if you think, don't. All right. No, safe space. Every time I say that, it always goes wrong. Don't be embarrassed. Every time you said safe space is basically triggering that I'm about to get roasted.

Yeah. Dot comrade. I actually love that. I think that's really funny. Dot comrade. Because it's like an internet friend. Yeah. No, I get it.

Yeah. Yep. Yep. Or.com. This has got very iSnack 2.0 energy, doesn't it? Right? I did write down iFriend 2.0. And I crossed it out.

You don't have that. I do. It fucking says it right here. Oh, you fucking lame bitch. All right. I'm just kidding. you fucking lame bitch. All right. Just kidding. Cross that one off. All right.

What else have you got? I had pen pal. There's no punchline. That's it. Oh, but you're thinking of a pen pal. Yeah, okay. All right. Let me go again.

Let me go again. But I see where you're at, though. What about an OOF? She's my oof, my online only friend. Your oof? My oof. Oh, so I was talking to an oof of mine. Yeah, it rolls off the tongue. It does?

I think this is a similar category. I had like EBF, like BFF, but it's like with the E at the start. And what would that stand for? Or EBFF. Oh, E, like BFF, but it's like with the E at the start. And what would that stand for? Or EBFF. Oh, E, like email. Yeah. Yeah.

I also had NQF, not quite friend. Yeah, one of my NQFs. But that just came off as nasty. Yeah, it's a bit of a put down. So I didn't, yeah. And then obviously I had iFriend, pen pal. Or oof, my online only friend. But then does the friend make it sound like I'm still trying

to push the agenda of them becoming my friend? I know, but it's like saying it's categorising it with the Oof. Yeah. And I feel like Oof, my Oof. Yeah. My second one is A Digi Darling. Nah, I hate that. That makes me sick.

That sounds like something that like an online community would call. It's like a sugar baby. No, let's say it's like a beauty podcast. Welcome, Digi Darlings, to the latest episode of How to Inspire a Beautiful Life and Make the Best Life for You. Live your truth, girls. A bit like that. But yeah, that kind of sounds like, which is not really me. No. And that's fine if that's you, but that's just not me. It's actually not fine if that's you. No, it is fine, but it's not for us. Not for us. Okay. So I feel like Or oof. Oof. Which one?

What if we pepper these through and see what sticks? I feel like that's the right way to go about it. But then I feel like online only friend makes it sound like I'm not willing to meet you in real life. Where's a? Because I've got a great example of this. Of like, well, just because I do it all the time and then people go, you in real life. Where's a... Because I've got a great example of this. Like, well, just because I do it all the time and then people go, oh, we should meet up.

And I go, yeah, but then if they hear me calling them and only... Then they know. You're setting a boundary. Yeah, you know what I mean? It sounds like I'm going, cool, this... Because Tony doesn't want to hang out with you. This conversation, this relationship is not coming offline. It's staying. You know when on a meeting people go, let's take this offline.

Yeah, no. It stays up in the cloud. It's in the cloud and that's it. That's it. If know when on a meeting people go, let's take this offline. Yeah, no. It stays up in the cloud. It's in the cloud and that's it. That's it. If you lose your Instagram privileges, then see ya. See ya, bitch. Yeah. You know what I mean?

Yeah. It sets a boundary. Yeah. I think that.comrad is very like internet core kind of vibes. Like people would maybe say that on like 4chan or something. Yeah, yep. What's your username on 4chan? I don't have a 4chan.

Don't you? No. Then where do you do your, what do people do on 4chan? It's a forum, isn't it? It's like Reddit, but Reddit's better. But I thought 4chan's like where fuck shit happens. Yeah. I feel like you could buy guns and drugs and.

No, that's Silk Road. My mistake. Yeah, that's a different thing. Then what's 4chan? What am I then doing? No wonder it's so hard to make a sale. So what do you reckon we pepper through dot com rad? Let's pepper.

Our producer, Cam, what do you think? Because you're quite cool. You like dot com rad. It could be shortened somehow. Could be shortened somehow. We can't get rid of the dot or the com or the rad. No, because then it's not a joke anymore. You're just saying dot com.

Maybe if anybody has an idea, you could pop it in today's episode thread in our Facebook group, Tony and Ryan Podcast. Or just tell us that you're all about the oof or the digital dot com rad. Yeah, I reckon if people have ideas. Digi darling. She's a digi darling. How do you know? She's a digi darling.

You can just tell. You can tell. Because I feel like, yeah, he needs a name. I do agree. And because every time I go, oh, yeah, I'm friends with her, and then you guys all look at me and go, oh, and I go, okay, no. Okay, I know you don't leave the house. Yeah, like I know that that's not your actual friend.

You're not friends with that person. You've messaged them one time. Yeah. Sorry for just wanting for everyone to be my friend. Don't. Sorry I'm a beautiful person with open arms into the internet saying, love me like I love you, my digi-darlings. No, scratch digi-darlings.

Hey, it's Catherine from Ohio, and you're listening to the Tony and Ryan podcast. Tomorrow on the show, we have confessions. These are top confessions. So if you want to submit your confession, TonyandRyan.com.au. Tomorrow, there's a confession from Poopy McGavin who asks, Am I worse than Ryan?

And their name is Poopy McGavin. Oh, no. And actually that's all I'll say. Yeah. If you want to submit yours, TonyandRyan.com.au would be awesome. And they are totally anonymous. Yep. Like there's not even a spot for an email or a name.

There is a spot for a name, but it says, please put a fake name here. Yeah. So, you know, like as long as if we're like, oh, it'll be anonymous, but we've got your phone number. I don't actually know who Poopy McGavin really is. We have no information. We cannot contact you afterwards. I assume Poopy McGavin's not their real name. I hope not.

When I said put fake name here, I hope they haven't gone, no, I'll just put in Poopy McGavin. It sounds like a play on Shooter McGavin from Billy, not Billy Madison, Happy Gilmore. Happy Gilmore. They're both the same, aren't they? Well, they're not, but, like, you always get them mixed up. Would you?

Yeah. Well, his production, Happy Gilmore, his production company is called Happy Madison. Yeah. So, like, I just always get them mixed up Both great movies I'm not Why are you guys doing this to me?

It's so unfair We're not doing anything to you You are talking down to some of the greatest comedies of our childhood Okay, let's not get too hasty Well when you're 8 years old They mean a lot to you They mean a lot to me as well I have the DVDs.

I'm a big fan. Sounds like it. I was the one that recognised that it was a pun from Happy Gilmore from Shooter McGavin. You guys eat pieces of shit for breakfast? It's a great movie. Oh, it must be if you said that line. Janie, thank you so much.

Caleb Fryer, Lise and Nat Marley, thank you very much for being part of our Patreon. I wonder if any of those three have sent through a juicy confession. Well, I actually don't think I like confessions anymore because as soon as I read them, I'm like, this is so fucking crazy. I wonder who it is. And I'll never know. There's no, like, answer.

That's the thing. You can't ask any follow-ups. Well, you can, but you never, like, actually know what they are what they are no one's gonna answer you're just asking to their ether and you're just like oh i wonder then what happened and then what did he say yeah he say he say oh nothing the plant falls over again and nothing like nothing ever happens um so the other day right my boyfriend torbs who is the love of my life, we've been together, been doing it for 10 years, together for nine or something like that.

He, love him to death, right, but he's like quite clumsy and like sometimes a bit forgetful. And it stresses me out as someone who is like tries to be quite organised and like on top of things at all times, it like is a bit just like, oh, my God god why wouldn't you just think of that or why don't you put your keys in the same spot every day when you get home um i know this is about tobs and not me but just fucking calm down yeah because it's a bit aggressive it's a bit it's a bit confronting actually i know because i hear you but and i

agree but you both do the same thing and it's like – because every time you say to me, if I was my wallet, where would I be? I'm like, am I at home? Like this is just – it's too much. I wouldn't say that often, would I? You say that most days. And the only days that you – yeah, you say you're looking for it now. The only days that you don't say it are days where you go, I left my wallet at home.

Well, at least I know where it is. Exactly. It's in a safe space you left at home. A safe space in my house somewhere. The other day, Torbs was working in the office. So he works in the office for his work like two days a week. And I worked in our office in the morning and then was working from home in the Arvo.

And I was just like tapping away. I was working on the couch and Pippa was on my lap and I was just fucking doing shit. And he called me as he was leaving work. It was probably about 5.30 and he was like, can I grab anything for dinner on the way home? So he stopped. I think we're having tacos.

So he stopped at home and, like, grabbed the wraps. We had, like, everything else that we needed. He just grabbed the wraps or something. He literally grabbed two things. And he gets home. He pops the shit that he bought, like, in the kitchen and I was finishing off my work. And I close my laptop and we start doing our debrief.

So we're just talking about our day. So the other week I mentioned that Torbs and I do like a full debrief every day and basically it is like neither of us are on our phones or working. We're like sitting there having a conversation. Play by play, everything that happened that day. And Torbs was like unpacking his bag and I was sitting on the couch and we were talking.

So he's like unpacking his bag, like getting undressed and taking his fucking shoes off and whatever. And we're just chatting. And then like 20 minutes later after we'd been talking, I picked my phone up and realized i had some missed calls from torbs and i was like oh fuck dude did you try and call me while you were at the shops or whatever i didn't even notice he was like no no i didn't and i did the math yeah and realized he'd called me since being at home. During the debrief?

Like while we were. Have you been butt-dying or something? And I was just like, do you have your phone? Like what's going on? Instantly, actually, my phone, my mind went to, is this a scam? Because you know how they like the scam callers? Like I get missed calls from numbers that are like one off from my number. Really? Yeah. missed calls from numbers that are like one off from my number really yeah so it'll be like like say my phone number ends in 278 i'll get a missed call from 276 and it's like one number different

like that happens to me a lot maybe it's just your number neighbor calling to say hi maybe but yeah and i get like stuff like that and you know how they can like have you ever had the thing where you get a missed call and it looks like a normal number and you call them back and you go, hey, just call me. And some guy on the other end goes, nah, because they like go through other numbers to scam call. I did not know about this. So this is a real thing.

Yes. Yeah. This is a real thing. So they like, basically, if you answer a scam call, they know that your number is like hot and then they can use your number to call through to other people. Because the amount of time, probably it's happened to me three times, it's happened to Torbs a few times, that you call the number because it looks like a legit number.

It looks real. Yeah, and you call them back and they go, no, I didn't just call you, bro, and you go, oh, okay. And then you sound like a fucking idiot. Yeah. Did you just call me? No. But they call via proxy.

So this has happened to you since Torbsjorn's been sitting there next to you? So I got calls from his number and I was just like, what the fuck? Is this a scam? Like what the fuck? Yeah. And he is checking his bag and he's like, oh, see if I've got my phone. Yeah. And he didn't.

And then I realised I had a text and it said, hey, you're the emergency contact in this phone. I've just found it on the floor at the tram stop and I want to return it to its owner. Oh, my God. So it was actually Torbz's phone calling you. It was actually Torbz's phone, but he like had dropped it on his, he'd like gotten off the tram and obviously it had like slipped out of his pocket or out of the top of his bag or something.

Is it weird that we, not weird, but like we we associate when it says Torbs, you go, it's Torbs, but you don't actually go, it's from Torbs' phone? No, because I'm like, that's you. It's the person. You are that person. Because why would I get a text from Ryan and go, oh, Ryan's phone's text me? Yeah. Well, no, yeah, no. No, someone's pushed something.

So what, some girl's feeling the phone at the tram stop and you're an emergency contact? Or did you just call the most recent? Yeah, so it was like I was the favourited. You know how like you have a favourites list? First of all, I was like, how did she get in her phone? I know, right? Because you're not locking his phone.

I mean, it's worked out well for him. Maybe that should be like a regular, you know how it's like you can, anyone can call triple zero? Yeah. Maybe it should be like. It is. So if I. My great idea that they invented 10 years ago.

Yeah. So if I like open. Oh, hang on. It's opening because I'm looking at it. Your face ID. If I do. If you try and open it, which obviously you can't. I think it was emergency.

And it should say emergency ID at the bottom or something? It's got medical ID. Yep, medical ID. So click on that. Oh, and then Torbs. And then it has like your emergency contacts and stuff in it. So you can set it up so that people can't like get into your phone. Oh, do you know who?

Oh. What? In your emergency contacts, the first is Torbs. Yep. Probably fair enough. Yep. Second is your brother jamie yep probably fine yep um third is jane yep so i've got torbs who's obviously the love of my life

and would need to know straight away uh jamie who is a family member but is in a different state on the other side of the country so if there's an emergency what's he going to be able to do and jane because she can drive torbs can't drive So if there's an emergency, what's he going to be able to do? And Jane, because she can drive. Torbs can't drive. So if there's ever an emergency. What would I need to do to get up into the top three there? I mean, you did yesterday just say that I was in your top tier of friends. Or was that today?

You would be on my list of three. No, I wouldn't. Yeah. No, it would be your wife, Bridget, and your mum. Yeah. And you, top three. No, I wouldn't. I'm probably not even in your favourites in your contacts.

No, you definitely are. Am I? Yeah. You're in the top. You know how in the iPhone you can put at the top? How many can you put at the top? I've got three, and it's you, Jane, and Jamie, actually. Because Torbs and I don't text.

We use Messenger. Oh, okay. I don't know why. Because you guys are too cool. No, I think it's because at our house we don't text. We use Messenger. Oh, okay. I don't know why. Because you guys are too cool. No, I think it's because at our house we don't have reception. And Torbs doesn't have an iPhone, so you can't iMessage. Oh. I know.

Fuck, don't even get me fucking started. Yeah, you know what? We often joke about he hasn't proposed yet, but fuck, I wouldn't say yes to a guy who doesn't have an iPhone. Him driving's not the issue. Oh. Yeah, can't drive, doesn't have an iPhone. Hang on, hang on. All right. He's a not the issue. Yep. Can't drive, doesn't have an iPhone.

He's a really great guy, guys. If you're on Tinder and in the bio it says, I don't have an iPhone and I can't drive, would you swipe on him? No, probably not. You'd fucking skip over that faster than anything else in your life. Yeah.

See you later, bud. I was in too deep before I realised the other stuff. Tell it walking, sweetheart. Literally because you can't drive. You know what I'm saying? Anyway, so back to the story. So I get this text and it's literally like I've got the phone, WhatsApp, and it was 20 minutes before or something because we'd been chatting and I wasn't on my phone.

Yeah. See, this is why you can't debrief. So I try to call them back. It rings once and then it stops. Oh, no. And so I'm like, okay, it's obviously like they obviously went, I'll try and do the right thing. They didn't hear back and they went fucking bingo, new phone.

Fuck. I don't know. And then I call the same thing again and then I call again and this girl answers and she's like hello and I was like oh my god this is my boyfriend's phone like he's such a fuckhead um he's lost it and she goes yeah I just lost it but I'm not where he left it anymore so because he left it at the tram stop she was like I waited there for a minute but that was 20 minutes ago and she goes I'm actually walking my dogs so i'm gonna walk it to the richmond police station which is like a half hour walk from my house she's like i'm almost there now and i was like i'm literally about to

i'm gonna jump in the car right now and i'll come to the thing and because i didn't know at the police station what the process is of like handing in property? Like how do you prove that that's your phone? So I'm like if you've got it, can you just hold on to it? Yeah, give me one sec. Because if we go to the police station, they're going to go, well, hang on. You know, I didn't know what the process was. Does anyone actually know what the process is?

So I lost the keys to Bridget's car. When? The Golf. Oh, a year ago? Oh, right. I went to get bagels at Bizzle B and got back to the car. I was like, I fucking don't know. The keys are somewhere dropped on

Bridge Road. So I go down to the police. I give it a few hours because I'm like, well, they're not going to turn up to the police station in three minutes. Straight away, yeah. I go down there and I go, hey, mate. Did you do a recce up the straight? Did you walk back? Yeah, I kind of looked, but I was like, I don't know. I still don't get it. Anyway,

so I get to the police station and I'm like, hey, mate, I've lost my keys. Is there any chance they've been handed in? And he goes, leans under the counter and pulls out a shoebox. And there's probably 25, 30 sets of keys. And goes, any of these yours? So I'm like rummaging around. Rifling through. And I'm like.

So they're not even like tagged with what date they were handed in or anything? Yeah, these three. And he would have gone, okay. That's not a good system, is it? Well, it might be if you don't have to. I mean, the opposite is you're trying to prove it's yours. Yeah, that's true. But I'd probably rather be on the cautious side.

Yeah, like you'd rather it be a pain in the ass to get them rather than anybody be able to go, oh, I'd love a fucking Mercedes, take those keys and just fucking click the clicker around Richmond and hope for the best. Because with the clicker, you can just walk around pressing the button. And so I rifled through this one. Oh, none of them mind. He's like, all right, well, if you want to come back in a week

and see if they turn up. And I was like, okay. He goes, yeah, people drop them off all the time. And I went, okay. Because I don't have any defining like qualities yeah you do you're beautiful that's lovely but i meant on my keys like i don't have anything on my keys that is like it says tony lodge on them or anything but you wouldn't know you wouldn't be like here's my address yeah oh a free car and a fucking free house i'll take your fucking tv you know that'll

fit in the back of that car it's's huge. Got a fucking cute dog. Don't joke about that. Oh, my God, you've hit a nerf. The Audi and the TV, no problem. You can have the fucking Audi. My little pippy, no way. Anyway, so I'm like growling at Torbs in the car. I'm like, who loses their fucking phone, dude?

Like, it's actually like a ridiculous thing. Nah, I lose mine all the time. I cannot. Do you reckon yelling at tobs helps the situation no i don't and you have to go oh actually that's a good point tony i'll unloose it 20 minutes ago yeah well see that and i was like well it's already happened at least someone's picked it up and it's not like actually gone missing um anyway and so she texts again and she goes um oh they won't let me into the police station with my dog so I'll just wait out the front, which is fucking like, can you imagine though?

You go, I've just found this phone. Like I was trying to do the right thing and now it's turned into a fucking rigmarole and a half. Yeah, they want me to do this, this and this. Or do you want me to cook dinner for you as well, mate? Literally. So then it's like almost 6.30 and we finally pull pull up out from the police station and there was no parking the traffic was crazy i see this girl with two dogs and torbs goes i'll just jump out of the car and she like

kind of meets us halfway on the road gives him the phone and he just like jumps back in the car and i rolled down the window and i was like thank you so so much she's like it's honestly totally fine like so glad that you found it. And then anyway, it was the nicest thing. Did Torbs think to say thank you? Oh, he did. Sorry. Because it sounds like he's like, thanks, bitch.

No, no, no, no. Snatched it out of her hands in the middle of the street. Oh, my God. I would have hit him if he did that. No, he's like, thank you so, so much. And I was like, what's your name? She's like, Brittany. I was like, Brittany, thank you.

Like, you've saved us so much fart-assing around. Like, can you fucking imagine how much of a pain in the ass that would have been? Reinstalling the apps, getting a new SIM card. And the fact that you couldn't even back it up from an old phone because the old phone was gone. Of course. Yeah, what a pain in the ass.

But also just buying another phone. Like, who has a spare fucking $1,500 or whatever a fucking phone costs? They're so expensive. Like, ridiculous. Do you guys have insurance? Nah. Yeah, who does? Not on our phones. It's a fucking scam. It's $15 a month. Like, They're so expensive. Like ridiculous. Do you guys have insurance? Nah. Yeah, who does? Not on our phones.

It's a fucking scam. It's $15 a month. Oh, you pay an extra $15 a month. So then if you lose it, you only have to pay full price for it. And you go, what? Yeah. We'll give you $7 off the new phone if you pay $15 a month. Yeah, and if you pay the $15 a month, yeah,

it only costs $50 to get a new one. I'm like, I've paid all this money though. Where does that money like compound or whatever if I've paid it to you? I'm better off just saving that $15 in my savings account, making some more money and then buy myself a little snack. Just a little treat or something. Spiced salami stick. You can buy a brownie for that.

I would love one. Yeah, I know. Anyway, it was like the most wholesome thing. Like it was so beautiful. And the hardest thing was, is that I wanted to call you and tell you straight away, but I was like, because it's just like a crazy story.

But I was like, oh, I have to wait and like save it for the pod or whatever. And also, I realised that the reason that it took so long for us to realise that it was gone was because we were doing our debrief. And that's why you should never debrief.

And I've always said that. I've always said if you waste your fucking time boring yourself to fucking tears for an hour every night, you could lose a phone. And you've always said that. And what do I always say? It'll end up with the police. You'll end up at the police station. Yeah.

Starts in laughter, ends in tears. And, yeah, so anyway, we had been chatting in our, you know, phones down conversation of the night and that happened. Hang on, hang on. You said you wanted to tell me straight away. The debrief caused you this problem and the first thought that comes to your mind is I need to debrief this with someone. Because I like to get things off my chest.

But the other really embarrassing thing was, right, so I didn't have any of this girl's information because I said to Torbs, I was like, when we meet her, we should ask her if we can, like, buy her dinner or do something. Or bring her home, get her a drink first. What do you mean? Take her out for a meal. No, no, no, but be like, oh, how can we say thank you?

Like offer her a reward. No. Well, you can't text the message back because you'll just text Torbs. Well, so. Did you try? Fucking Torbs is still with her. I know, he's sitting right next to me. Well, I just didn't even think about it.

And I went, Brittany, thank you so much for, like, helping us out with the phone. And then Torbs' phone goes. I just didn't even. I was like, well, that's Brittany because she's in the phone. Yeah. And Torbs is over there, but she had the phone and that's how I was communicating with her.

Torbs, have you got Brittany's phone? Yeah. Why are you reading her text? Do you know her? How does the three of us all know each other because we've all got the same phone? You know what this brought memories back of? Because I don't know if this was a Melbourne thing,

and I know it was definitely on the east coast, because you were never like a commuter, i.e. like catching the train to work and back. No. But there used to be an afternoon paper called the MX, and I know a lot of other cities have that, and it used to have lost connections, like a section. Oh, yeah.

Because it was literally designed for people on the train. And so it would be like, oh, I caught the train home on the Hurstbridge line and there was a girl in a purple dress and she was beautiful. And I just wanted to tell her that I really admired her thing. You need to be like to Brittany, the mysterious, beautiful Brittany. With two dogs in Richmond. With two dogs in Richmond who picked up my boyfriend's phone. I would love to take you out for dinner and bring you home to say thank you.

If only we had a way of reaching many, many people at once. Are you saying we should start a podcast? That's a really good idea. We weren't going to post this anywhere. Do you reckon she listens to the podcast? I don't know because I said to Torbs, what's my name in your phone? Yeah. Because imagine if you saw Tony Lodge pop up.

I'd Google it. Surely. Well, I'd Google any name ever. Even if you saw Tony Lodge pop up. I'd Google it. Surely. Well, I'd Google any name ever. I'd Google any name ever.

All right, so when I've got a group assignment at uni. Yeah. Oh, you Google the people. So we get into the group and they're like, oh, what do you do for a living? I'm like, we don't need to do this because I already know. Yeah. I've already found you all on LinkedIn. Yeah, how's your mum going? Her leg, has that gotten better?

Yeah. How are the kids? Yeah. How was fucking Sicily in 2012? Yeah, I would have, like not because you have a podcast, but just anyone. Yeah, you would just see it and go, who's that? Because I love peering into other people's lives.

Fuck, could I sound any fucking more creepy today? He's not great. But it's like when you're sitting in a cafe watching the world go past. Yeah. That kind of a peek into other people's worlds. Yeah. That kind of opinion to other people's world. Yeah. Not like which draws the underwear. I mean, you said it, not me.

But it was really lovely and I honestly wanted to do something for her. And she obviously, she needed to leave. Like she didn't plan on spending half an hour of her time at the fucking. Cop shop. Right. But, yes, I texted her, didn't hear back because obviously I went to talks. So shout out to Brittany.

Shout out to Brittany. Is that how you love to say it? No, no, no. You need a. I need a proper one. No, no double dipping here. No double dipping here, sweetheart. But, Brittany, if you are listening, I'd love to shout your dinner or.

What, with her? No, I'd like give her an Uber Eats voucher or, like, buy her a bottle of wine or something because it was... It's a thank you gift. Yeah. Or even if you're just listening and you appreciate the thank you, that's also fine. Maybe I don't need to buy you anything.

But I don't know. Yeah. What do you get a gift for someone at Foundry Fund in the Traynham Stop? That's a good point. Maybe a box of favourites. That's the gift you give when you're told not to bring anything. Exactly. The marketing is working.

I've got to love to see it. And I do love to see that, though. Isn't it lovely? But, I mean, we wouldn't have got to that if Torb's kept his fucking shit together. Yeah. Do you know what I mean, though? Like, how fucking frustrating is that? Who loses their phone?

I love to see it. Because I could bang on about Torb's being useless all day. And then I realise I'm really just yelling at myself. Yeah, because you do the same things. Over the weekend, I went to this restaurant out my way. It's called Ember. It's in Warrandyte for those playing along. And you know how it's really normal now for like a lot of restaurants kind of have the like feed me option or the chef's choice or whatever.

And it's kind of like it's like half the stuff on the menu, but they just bring out little plates. You can kind of try a bit of everything. It's share plates across the whole table. Yeah, and you just pay like a set fee. And they just bring stuff out and you go, great. And you know that you're going to get to try like the chef's favourite stuff normally. How do you go though with a feed me because you can be a bit of a fussy eater? Like there's stuff that you don't really like.

Onions, like there's a few things that you don't really like. So how do you go with that? I know it's probably the only real thing. Oh, is it? Yeah. Oh, okay. And then I just pick around it and stuff. Yeah, sure.

But I feel like there's like, especially with the group, like a festive atmosphere if we go, hey, should we get the fucking food? Yeah. Like there's a bit of excitement in the room. It feels more of an event. Yeah. And so we're at the thing and we're deciding,

and, you know, the eyes are darting around the table and with Bridget and with Bridget's parents and we're kind of all, I'm kind of looking at Bridget's dad's going, what are you fucking doing on the feed? Yeah. He's looking at me going, these guys do their own beer. We could probably have a couple of those. Yeah, we can probably do that.

Yeah. So there's a bit of that going on. And then, you know when we got the really expensive coffee the other day, how they were real the people who worked there were like so excited to make it yeah that it kind of made us more excited to drink it and you felt like you were having it was more of an experience yeah so my love to see it is we ordered the feed me and the waitress there goes yes because she was just so fucking pumped because she's like oh this is the best because the chef will do this and i'll bring you these drinks and

i'll fucking we'll get the dessert you guys and she was just like, oh, this is the best because the chef will do this and I'll bring you these drinks and I'll fucking, we'll get the dessert. You guys are going to, and she was just like, and it wasn't like the manager and it wasn't like, oh, yes, I'm making more money. She was just like, fucking great. She was so pumped that we did the feed me. It made me more pumped to eat it all. It actually makes such a difference when you go somewhere

and people like actually are loving being there. Yeah. So one of them was like this Tennessee chicken popper Such a difference when you go somewhere and people, like, actually are loving being there. Yeah. So one of them was, like, this Tennessee chicken popper with a sort of whatever, and she goes, oh, I'll make sure you get this one because it's my favourite. Oh, they could say that about human shit, and I'd be like, oh, I can't wait to try it. When they say it's their favourite thing,

doesn't that just get you off? Yeah, and so my love to see it is the girl who worked at Ember, just the waitress who was dropping the food off. Fuck, that just put me in a good mood and it was great. It was awesome. That's amazing. Okay, well my love to see it What are you going to do? It's Brittany. She's called back.

Just Torb's asking what's for dinner. Brittany does want a bottle of wine after all. Take her to Ember and Warrandyte. Maybe I will. I'll take you to Ember and Warrandite. Yeah, maybe I will. Yeah. Oh, maybe I'll offer. I'll take you to Ember and Morandite. It's actually unreal. That sounds really, I'd love to hang out with you.

Because as your top tier friend, I'd love to. Yeah, okay. As your emergency contact. Yep. Yep. Okay, almost there. Yep. I saw this tweet, it went viral and it made me really laugh.

It says, this morning I cracked an egg and it was a double yolk. Oh, fucking oath. That is the best. Isn't that the best feeling? Yeah. No, don't play down the, you love to say it, this morning I cracked an egg and it was a double yolk. Oh, fucking oath. That is the best. Isn't that the best feeling? Yeah. No, don't play down the, you love to say it. This is sick. And I was like, how cool.

Second one, I got a double yolk again. They come in boxes. And I was like, whoa, third egg happened again. Fourth egg, what are the odds? And then I read the box. Third egg happened again. Fourth egg. What are the odds? And then I read the box. Double yolks, jumbo box of eggs. All of them are double yokers.

What I love for the first few, she got excited. Yeah. Oh, no. She got to the fourth and was like, I should buy a lotto ticket. And then it says on the box. Yeah, righto. Okay. Jumbo double yolks.

I fucking pissed when I saw that because, you know, when you think that you go, oh, oh, oh, what the bloody hell? And then you realise that, yeah, it's playing. What are you going? What the bloody hell? I think that was pretty clear. Do they sell them? Is it common to buy a box of double yolks? How could they?

How could they confirm? How do they know? Right? How would they know? Because a big egg doesn't mean a double yolk. It's a Samaria 51 vibe. Because there's like, you can get a big egg. Are they real eggs or are they like made in a lab?

Scientifacts. You can't just tell a chicken to have twins every time. No, you can't just tell a chicken to have double period. No. Is that what it is? Because that's what it is. The egg is the period. Is it?

Yeah. Okay, I'm glad I know that now. Yeah, so double yolk is double period. Fuck. Well, don't you love to see all those double yolks? Buy a lot of tickets, sweetheart. Cheers, cheers to menstruation. All right, tomorrow, confessions.

These are tough confessions. We'll chat to you then. Yay. Love you, bye.