Toni and Ryan - Fire Alarm On The Gold Coast

Episode Date: February 8, 2026

Gold Coast facts - Beach chafing - Fire alarms - love ya!!!!!Sign up to Patreon Here - www.patreon.com/ToniandRyanFAQ and T&C's PODCASTAWAY - www.toniandryan.com.au/podcastawayVideo for this EP is available on YOUTUBECheck out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toniandryanpodcast Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Isn't this episode going to be one of those harrowing scenes that floats around TikTok? And it's like, Little Lithana, about three names, Lainer, one of the great residential tower fires. Hit the Gold Coast. Hi, my name's Lauren. I'm from Melbourne, Australia. I'm Alexis from Vancouver, Canada. I'm Ali from Brisbane. And I approve this podcast.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. This is Dr. Author, Tony Lodge. My name is Ryan John. And welcome to the Gold Coast this week. and there's a few things you need to be aware of. First of all, behind us is a view of the Gold Coast. It looks half green screen, half corporate junket, half the sun is hitting Tony's back.

We're probably going to start sweating soon. Might get burned. Yeah. The other thing you need to be aware of is we're actually in Tony's bedroom in the hotel. And we're both on swively chairs. How do you feel about that? I'm definitely going to be spinning. I hope it doesn't make anyone seasick.

We can see that. the C. So maybe we'll get C-Sic anyway. Is it going to be an issue, Charles? I don't think so. I think we should be all good. Because I get the convenience of the spin, but it's also so much fun. What do you mean convenience?

Like, because you can, when you can move. Look. Oh, I see. What's over there? So I thought you meant actually doing it was convenient. I was like, oh, I guess, like I guess. Like, I understand the concept of a swiveling chair. I don't really understand a swiveling chair in like a hotel room.

Like I understand a swiveling chair Like in an office or It's a swiveling cuck chair So you can look at the view Or you can watch your wife Getting railed by a guy down the hall And what if you change your mind You know

You can just turn off Oh what's how you doing there That looks like a good time Oh look at the waves Yeah It is beautiful I've got some facts Actually first of all

We need to check in Zero being I'm not moving to the Gold Coast 10 being I'm moving to the Gold Coast Where you at? I think I'm probably like an eight or a nine. I do really love it. I have wet hair from going for a swim this morning.

Fuck. Like, that's good. So that's good. So, do you go ocean or pool? And what a great question to ask. Like, what of the two best things in the world did you experience today?

Yeah. Both are applicable. Yeah, I just went to the pool. There's not, hey, take that just out. Sorry.

I went to the fucking sickest hotel pool I've ever seen. Yeah, I went to the pool. That was really nice. Yeah. There was just people down there, like having a coffee and stuff. And I was like,

okay. This hotel is kind of random, though, like, people live here. Like, it's like a residential apartment block wearing like a... The hotel part. Like the service apartment, but it's not service. Like, it's kind of, it's so random. Is there a hotel part and a residential part or are they all just mixed together? I'm pretty sure it's all mixed together.

Yeah. And so those couples that were trying to recruit you last night in the hall, Charles, were they residents or were they on holidays? I think they were on holidays. Yeah, okay. What? Don't you remember the kerfuffle when he walked in? No.

I heard what was, there was like, it's like the lift got up and then the doors opened and then Charles and all these people were having a party and Charles was like fell in the front door of our place. Oh no, I don't, I don't think I heard that. Yeah. Oh. Did you go back out there after? No, it was like three couples. Yeah. They're on holidays, man.

Young and hot. That's right. And I said you'd be the seventh. Yeah, German. Sorry, the sun's got into me. I've got some Gold Coast facts. Gold Coast is the sixth biggest city in Australia. Oh, they're like,

literal facts about the Gold Coast. What did you think it was going to be? Like, Gold Coast isms or like things you've recognised, not like a Year 6 book report about literally the Gold Coast. There's a few in there. Okay. So what did you say?

The sixth biggest city. In Australia. What's the first five? Sydney, Melbourne, Brisbane, Adelaide and Perth. Oh, like literally. It's just those. So this is bigger than like Darwin? Yeah.

Oh, how many people live here? Oh, glad you were. 700,000 people live here, but there's also a couple hundred thousand tourists at any one time. Really? Yep. Now, I've got something for you here. This is a great fact. The Gold Coast is the home of Corrumban Century, which is Youngblood's favorite place in the world.

What else? Carumban Bird Sanctuary? That's a deep con. That is. I want to be there all the time. Shout out Corrumban Bird Sanctuary. I met a girl a couple years ago on New Year's Eve in Carambon. Caramban Bird Sanctuary.

You know, I'm not sure I got that from. Hey, we heard you had a great time here at Corumben Bird Sanctuary. We have... We've changed our name. But we appreciate all the shout-out. We changed our name to Corumben Wild Bissection. So you should come back and we'll say... Oh, they weren't.

Yeah, we'll have a great time. Oh, they were... They sound like the bomb. You remember when the bomb came out and said, please don't call. the bomb didn't that backfire for those like long of time that is the Bureau of meteorology it's the bomb bomb and they said please don't call us bomb and guess that's like a kid in high school being like you know that nickname that you gave me like I don't like that and you're not really a fan yeah that's just confirming that you're going to have it for the rest of your life we're obviously calling you the bomb

yeah and then the bomb spent 94 million dollars on a website upgrade and it didn't work and it sucked and they moved did they move back or they stuck with the shit one do you remember that no I don't Oh, it's probably a few months ago. Like, there was this big brew, ha ha. And they redid the website and it sucked. And then everyone's like, oh, how much you just spend on that? And they're like, oh, like a few million. And everyone's like, what the fuck?

And then the, because it's a government department. They have to say. And it was $94 million. $96.5. Fuck me right up. Imagine being wrong and being $2 million off. Yeah, the wrong way. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Fuck. So do they just go back to the old one then? Or is it just suck? I think they've just. stayed with it. They've stayed with it, yeah.

Yeah, it just like... Oh, I haven't been on it for ages. You know why he wouldn't? Because you're like, what's the weather? And then you go to bomb and you like still don't really know. Oh, because it's hard to find. Torbs goes in and out of being a radar guy, as you know. So I feel like if he was on an up of the radar, I would have known about the website.

But he must be on a down of the radar. Yeah. Or maybe he's just like, that's gone to the dogs. Yeah, now I'll just weather zone it on my... Yeah, I'll just look at the Apple weather. You know how everyone's got their like preferred weather app? like how it's like I'm just an Apple Weather girl I just go straight to the thing

but I said that someone the other day and they were like well someone I said it I was like oh it's this going to be 23 today and they went are you living on Apple Weather was it Charles? It was Lily actually Oh Lily in the next year I love that she can't defend herself

because she's in the next room yeah but yeah she was like I look on Apple Weather and I was like are you looking on your face yeah actually speaking of Lily this is a Gold Coast fact last said she's in the next room she can't defend herself here's a fact about the gold coast

if no one's working at the store and the store is closed and looks empty don't order if you see an iPad out the front don't just put your order in and wait 50 minutes and just hope for the best yeah yeah if the store's closed and you can see with your own eyes that no one's in there can I ask because I've been waiting 50 minutes it's taking a while like what what seems to be the problem there's no one here it's closed did you think about that when you put the order in? If I could yes and that, I feel like that's maybe not even just the Gold Coast. You could probably take that advice worldwide.

If there's no one in the store, it's going to take a while for them to serve you. Yeah. Like you're not just waiting for a can of Coke. Like, I'll just grab it. Like on a system, I've paid. Or like a vending machine that it like works when there's no one else around. Yeah. Or you're out of subway and you go to the drinks fridge.

You go, I've paid on the iPad. I'll take the power aid. I think it's fine. I'll get that from the fridge and that guy goes, I don't know, fuck. Yeah, I couldn't. I don't care. Yeah. Yeah.

That's a grilled, but I'll like, do you want me to get the drinks? And the guy just goes, fucking get out of the store. Oh, I grew, oh, do they not? Well, because I order. Yeah. And then I'll go and pick it up. And because it's like the hot stuff comes in the hot bag. And then there's like the drinks fridge.

And I'll go, yeah, I'll get those lemon sodas on the way out. And the guy just goes, do it if you want. Yeah, take them all, man. Do you know what fucks me off about grilled? And as you know, it's like my favorite place to get food. I love grilled. 500 meters from where we're staying. Why do they bother offering the other buns?

I want traditional. Stop ass-movie other ones. Do you know what I mean? Take your pinini bread. Fuck off. Take that flour and shove it into a different traditional bread. Stop putting it on the top of the pinini and use that flour to make me another traditional bitch. Like, grilled, okay?

Usually the hot take has to wait till the second half of there, but here we fucking are. Do you know what I mean? You've wasted a good hot take there. I went through a phase because we probably have grilled. If not once a week, definitely every fortnight. Yeah, yeah. Because it's good for you guys because you can grab it on the way home. It's literally on the way home.

Yeah, it works. And they've got little kids pack for Mabel and she likes little nuggets and stuff. It's very, yeah. And grilled is mean. It's great. I love grilled. I went through a phase where I got the gluten-free bun. Well, I'd as well just fucking lick the bottom of your shoe.

Well, and I did. Yeah. And it turns out I'd prefer just to have the gluten and deal with it, then lick my own shoe. Yeah. And then so when you say what's with the other buns, I've been there. Yeah. It's just traditional is the only way.

The other thing I will fuck with, though, is a lettuce bun. But the lettuce has to be really crispy. So you get like an actual crunch. Just don't get a burger. Nah, okay. No, but if you want to fucking seize a salad, then get a Caesar salad. Fuck, how good to seize a salad? I'm not dissing salads.

Just don't buy a burger. No, no, it's just not the same thing. Yeah, no. I got a burger. What did you get? A salad. Well, that's not a fucking burger. Yeah.

No, that's so fair. You know, I'll cop that. The Gold Coast has nine times more waterways than Venice. And you can tell. It is the wettest energy on the Gold Coast. Guess how many kilometres of canals there are that are navigatable by boat, jet ski or paddleboard on the Gold Coast? How many kilometers? Yeah, because we saw a bit of them.

As we flew in, you kind of see it. Um, oh, you know, I'm not great with distances. Yeah. Um, 10? 260 kilometers of canals to navigate by boat, jet ski or paddleboard. Oh, fuck, canal. That's really funny. Thank you so much.

Um, I could paddle board to work. Yeah, sorry, let's go back to the rating. I think I was a bit off when you asked me that. I think I'm a 10. Okay. I think I'm a 10. It wasn't about you being off earlier. It's about an update, like a continue.

like a continue. Yeah. I just really want to live here and you don't want to and we can't all move. When did I say I didn't want to? Can we? I'm just, I think that, you know,

every day, do you know, I'm actually in the opposite of distress. Every day before 9 a.m. We've all like, exercise, grabbed a coffee, been in the water.

It's honestly unbelievable. It is so good. Question for locals. And this could be anyone that. lives near a beach. Do your legs get used to chafing after a while and then it becomes a non-issue? Or is this going to be an ongoing concern? Great question.

Because my thighs rub when I... That's what's stopping us from moving here at this point. Because imagine this. You've got thighs that touch. Oh, fucking sorry. And then I get out of the water and it's the sand and the salt and the rubbing and me walking back to the thing about the time. I've nearly like...

Gone through the other side. Or maybe I need a... No, where bunchy smugglers and we're like, you know... like bike shorts. So it doesn't go skin on skin. Well, I was about to say, I think that the skin on skin is better.

This is going to surprise a lot of people, I think, but I actually don't chafe. I've got, no, like, well, the committee assumed when we got together to discuss,

do we think Tony Chase? I just think that like, you know, fat girls, they're, oh, they all don't. It just actually doesn't happen to me.

Like, my legs don't. So whenever you say it, I'm like, oh, I wonder if it's because I'm not wearing like, board shorts. and they're not frictioning, but you're right, you do wear budgy smugglers.

So my baitha bottoms are no different to, you know, they're just like the undie car. Well, maybe that's just because the part of you being wet for life is just being at one with the ocean. Dolphin, yeah. The Q1 building, which we are currently sitting in right now, is the largest residential building in Australia. The top of it was designed to look like the top of the Sydney Olympic torch. Oh. Wow. So when you squat on it from a distance for a tourist Tony video later.

Yeah. Keep that in mind. The Gold Coast has the highest rates of cosmetic surgery per capita in Australia. Really? That's insane. That's a crazy statistic. Yeah. But ultimately not surprising because fucking live your best life, go get it.

Oh, I can never tell. But then... I can quite genuinely never tell. I've got no idea. You know how there's those TV shows that are like in L.A. and it's like kind of like a reality show of the cosmetic surgeons. And you hear these stories of like cosmetic surgeons earning 50 million a year in the hour. Like this, that's where we are of Australia.

That's it. There's some surgeons making bank and everyone's looking hot as fire. Good for them. No, I can quite literally never tell. Now, Australia is also, this is slightly an opinion and not a hard fact. Okay. This is more what I thought it would all be. Okay.

Yeah. Is it been okay? Oh, no, no, no, no, it's wonderful. I just didn't think it would be, like, actual facts. They're really interesting. The Gold Coast is the Florida of Australia, and I can prove it with one news clip. What's Florida? Florida in America? What's, but what's the vibe? Every time you hear a story that's like, a naked man, wrestled a crocodile and... Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yep. A thong wearing bystander has stepped in attacking an accused Hoon on the Gold Coast.

Jordan Bissell, a woman who says her car was hit, recorded the violent exchange. Imagine being a news reporter, yeah. And that's what you're saying. Yeah. Well, on sunrise... We get sent out to that story. What story am I covering today? Oh, you've got the thong wearing bar stander.

Can you go down there? As if you don't think that there was two reporters and they scissors paper rocked on who got to do that one? I would so be going to that one. Well, whenever on sunrise they crossed to Georgia Costi, who does all the on-ground reporting on the Gold Coast, Oh, she's great. And there's always something going on. This is the thing about the Gold Coast. There's something for everyone.

There's great children's playgrounds. There is the beach. There's the sea. There's the ocean. There's the aqueduct. There's the aqued duck. There's fish bowl. There's hard rock.

No. Hogs Breath Cafe. Yes. Which, yum. Do you know what I mean? Like, there's just everything. There's the Kongdom kingdom? Yeah.

Wow. There's also, this is the final fact and the final rule of the Gold Coast. A rule? Yep. It is illegal to come off the beach and wash your dirty sandy feet in the hotel pool before going up to your hotel room. And would Tony Lodge like to explain anything? I did not do that alone. You shut the fucking hell up.

I did not do that alone. I did not do that alone. I did not do that alone. I sound offensive. Over there. She's lashing out. I did not do that alone. But as I have recently had surgery on my foot, the skin is very sensitive.

So I did, you know, what I had to, you know. Did you bring a note from the doctor? Yeah, I just wanted to make sure. And you know what? Charles stepped on a different step to us like around the other side. Yeah. And this morning when I went for a swim, all of that sand had pulled. on that top step and I was like, who's done?

Oh, Charles Patterson. I'm Alexis from Vancouver Canada. I'm Ali from Brisbane. My name's Lauren. I'm from Melbourne, Australia. And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tappers. From the fucking Gold Coast.

Do you know what I mean? I actually do know what you mean. Do you know what I mean? I've got wet hair. I can't believe that I've defied the fact that you can be. in a bad mood with wet hair. I'm back now. I swam in the ocean twice yesterday.

A morning and a sunset. And you can tell. And you can tell. Where can you tell? It's swollen with salt water. Oh my God. No, it's an energy though. You can sell.

Oh, new game. New game. We're in a studio sitting on couches and there's a lineup of five people. And then you have to figure which three have been in the ocean at some stage today. I tell immediately. I'd be able to tell immediately I've said a few of these random line-up things Can we compile these and actually do that one day?

Yeah, that sounds really fun I reckon I'd be able to tell What other things could be out of tell? If you've had an LLB in the last week? Oh, if you're in your wedge window Yeah Plus five people Two are in their wedge window

Definitely not wedge window Yeah, there's three ripped people And two not ripped and you go, I reckon it's those two I think you might be in your wedge window Three are in their cutting Oh no, there's cutting your body and there's cutting the literal potatoes to make wedges. Yeah, I'm in a cutting face. Cutting wedges every goddamn fucking night.

Cutting case to get to the pub and get some fucking wedges. All right. I must have a shout out to a few of the chemmints. Cut in a hole in my jeans so I fit in them. Olivia, good on you, Olivia. Audrey Strickland, good on your Audrey. Shayla Fan, Alex Kage, Elhoff, Gracie Howell. How you going, Gracie?

Christy Buchan Kirstie, Christy, Kirsten Kirsten, Kari-Frank, Katie B, Georgia Davies and Kloel And something that we've decided to do this week is

each night We've picked a Jake Gyllenall movie To watch each night And for everybody in the Patreon You saw us watch the trailers And actively decide this And then Lily, A Late Edition was that she wanted to watch

another movie which will be revealed on Thursday but tonight we're watching Charles's pick first and we're watching 9-1-1 with Jake

Gillen Hall in it Is it called 911-1-1? I don't know who but like it's that one No, because that's the highly berry one I think it's called The Call Isn't it called the guilty

or is that just a spoiler? Yeah it is called the guilty It's called the guilty It's on Netflix It's on Netflix That really gives it a lot The title. Yeah.

Guess if he did it? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, I wonder what happens. Well, I'm going to just want my guilty. Anyway. I'd like to make an executive decision to support you and all of us. We're moving to the Gold Coast?

Not quite. I'm not against it. I'm just open to it. I just think we should. How are the schools here? They're wonderful. They actually are because Ryan and I Googled yesterday. I have to be here about six.

Do you want to know how much fun we've had here? Listen to what we googled yesterday. We googled what time schools start and finish on the Gold Coast. Because they start earlier so that they can get more beach time in the afternoon. One school finishes at 140 every day. This makes so much sense because when the Lino are like out. School zones start at 7 a.m. Yeah.

Isn't that amazing? My executive decision, because there might be more travel on the way, thanks to Webjet, go somewhere like the Gold Coast. Yeah. Thanks, Webjet. And there's going to be some... I'm thinking about calling them Webby J if they could come back and let us know

if they're happy with that. Is Maddie J okay with that? I don't know. We've got some exciting things planned for this year and I don't want to give anything away. Yeah. But there's going to be a bit of like getting about and seeing people.

Getting about. But then winter, winter and Melbourne. You actually don't know what I'm talking about yet, so shut the fuck up. Sorry, Charles. I am okay with the hot take Tony a tight not being forced to travel because there are baggage limits. Thank you.

Yeah. Because is that just making it harder than it needs to be to cart that shit around insert destinations here? We also, we didn't take it to the US and Canada last year either. Because we didn't have it yet. Or did we? Yeah. Did we?

Yeah. We're hot taken over there. We didn't bring it with us. I thought we started hot taking when we got back. No. Because we didn't have it yet. Apologise. Apology knows.

Yeah, no, we were taken. Were you? Because it's the stick for me. Fitting that in the case is just, because remember one of the hot takes was I reckon that they turned the heat on in the airport to sweat the criminals out. That was one of your greatest. Yeah. And I reckon they do.

Yeah. I reckon they do in this fucking hotel in the morning as well. Yeah, it's hot, eh? I will say that like, because the aircon obviously like in every hotel, it like times out off like 16 hours to like. safe power or whatever. And it's just like stressing me out. Why don't you time out in winter?

Because I feel like it starts to get hotter. And I go, oh, maybe I'm just hot. And then I just start gaslighting myself. That like, I'm like, oh, that must be me. I must just be getting hot. Like maybe I'm going through the change. Yeah. And then I, and then someone else is like, oh, no, I'm pretty hot too.

And I'm like, oh, my God, bitch. I'm fine. Maybe we're all just going through change. The change. Okay. I've got a hot. Is it that? No.

Even though that would make me hot. Yeah, that's what yeah. And it would take it out of me. Um, okay. My hot take is that fire alarms can't be for specific people. Charles, have you also seen the same sign in the list? You've both seen the same sign. So we get here, right?

Actually, hooking through the Thursday's episode. Oh yeah. We'll see what happens. we get here right we walk it we've got all of our luggage we walk because like we've got all the extra shit for like all the cameras and stuff no room for the hot take

stuff that's okay um Charles can bring eight modems but I can't have my hot take cake well you can have your hot take cape but there just won't be anywhere to film it or you just be hot taking on your own which again the trade off is there and you get to decide yeah

and we fucking haul all of our shit into this lift and there is this little piece of paper up there with fucking cellar tape on the inside of the lift right and it's like hey everyone so we're going to be doing a test of the fire alarm on Thursday just ignore it I reckon if you hear a fire alarm on Thursday don't worry about it because all the staff are going to be listening for it and all the staff are going to go to the evacuation point. And all the staff are going to action this thing. But I reckon just don't worry about it.

Yeah, we're on the biggest, tallest residential building in Australia. There's 70 floors. And if you're on floor 70 and a fire breaks out on Thursday, it's actually fine. Don't worry about it. It's just a drill. I wouldn't worry about it. You will see all of the staff actioning it. So you might think for a second that there is a fire, but I wouldn't worry about it.

And it's just island time, you know, no problem. I'm on the beach, you are no. But you just, I just, do you see why? No, I don't think that you can just do that. Because, and that's what we're all thinking. Yeah. What happens if something goes down on Thursday? Right.

Isn't this episode going to be one of those harrowing scenes that floats around TikTok? And it's like, Little did they know, that three-nage Lainer, one of the great residential tower fires, hit the Gold Coast. Oh my God, well, we're not willing that on us. And everyone sat in their apartments and went, better get another lemon lime and bitters and watch the fucking sunset. And just went, oh, no, you know what? That little cellar taped sign to the inside of the lift that had a rip on it and like vape smoke soaked into it.

I actually reckon it's fine. I got into the lift and someone vaped in my face. What? Like, hello, Gold Coast. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. Vaped in your face. Into my face.

Like, well, let's go. And I went, fuck, sorry. And I went, I've just tasted your strawberries and cream breath. Like,

are you joking? Can vapes get some of not shit flavors? Can vapes just fuck off? Yeah. Put them in the bin, you doofus. I just can't. You're sucking on a battery.

So hang on. Lick your iPhone instead. Like, shut up. This is the better hot. Um, Sorry, is it really upsetting that my bare feet are facing you? I can't see them because they're not.

Yeah, good. What's the weirdest part of all of this? Is it that he blew it in your face? Was it that he was vaping in a lift to start with? Or the fact that he thought vaping was cool. Okay, all three are an issue for me personally. And like, and instantly I'm like, okay, so it probably is the actual fire alarm because people are vaping inside, first of all.

That's going to set off a fire alarm. Yep. But I just don't think that you can say like, oh, you just relax safe. Don't worry about it. I wouldn't worry about it. You know, when they normally do fire alarm testing and they go like,

this is a drill, this is the thing, they kind of, the way that this thing is written, it alludes to the fact that they're not going to do that. It's like the only way that they've told people

that it's a drill is via the cellar tape piece of paper on the inside. the lift that's covered in vapes smoke. I think what you should do is when it happens sprint out in a panic. Yeah.

And they go, don't worry, man, it's just the drill. And then you go, well, how the fuck was I supposed to know? Why don't you put a vapes soaked pit of salatine in the lift and maybe someone would fucking know about it? And they'll go, they'll go,

we thought we did. We thought we did do. I just don't think that the advanced warning and the way that it's written is just so funny to me that it literally says like, don't worry about today. What are you talking about? I've actually got a public service announcement for Thursday as well. Imagine if you hadn't seen that, you know?

On Friday, the police ambulance and fire brigade will be doing testing. So if you see them on the road with their lights, don't worry about it. Just don't worry about it. Don't get out of their way. I wouldn't worry about it. Now, like, I'm reading it and I was like, things are loose here. Yeah. So, you know how you like scary rides and we'll get to this later in the week?

Because there's a lot of theme parks here. Oh, sorry, the Gold Coast has the most theme parks of any city in the southern hemisphere. Wonderful. So Tony. Does that include the Australian Outback Spectacular? It couldn't not. Yeah. Go somewhere.

We've moved it. So Tony is going to do the scary rides in movie world. I'm more of a water slide guy. like a big slide. I don't like scare rides. I do like water slides. I'm going to go to Went Wild. If there was an evacuation on Thursday, there's a fire in the building.

Aren't you not supposed to take a lift in a fire? Yep. So where, as you can see out the window, pretty fucking high up. Floor 52. Would you take the stairs or because I like slides, you know what I'm getting at? That bin shoot. I reckon I could slide down. Matt.

Well, you know what? And do you reckon it comes out in the pool of the bottom? As horrifying as that visual is, the last time I took the stairs on holiday, I broke me fucking left flipper. Yeah. So I think that I probably, the bitch shoot sounds like a good alternative. Yeah. When I did say I hope.

Sorry, I've been on the golf ghost. Yeah. And I just said broke me left fucking flipper. You live here. I love it here. Honestly, tomorrow am I having a cobra? I think Lucy and or Nikki are moving from the Gold Coast of Melbourne. We'll swap.

They can live in your house and use our studio. And we'll live in their place and use their studio. It couldn't be simpler. Yeah. And we'll wear their clothes. Yeah. I'm going to bring Pippa. Yeah.

But aside from that, they can hang out with Torbs. I assume Torbs would move here with you. Nah. Just a house swap, just for a bit. Would that be a fun show? I think that someone might have already done that. What I was going to say is just asterisk. I actually don't know that the bin chute comes out in the water.

So like, before you jump. Where do you think it does? Because you were like, that sounds fun. I'm like, it does, but I don't know for, I do. Duty of care. I don't actually know. Yeah. Okay.

And that's the only thing, the only flag for this episode. Well, I've got a water-based. love to see it, which felt very gold-coast. Josie Brooks shared this with me on Patreon, and we were chatting back as and forwards, and I just absolutely upset. Josie says, I love how you guys influence us tarpers for the best.

I have always loved the beach and loved swimming, but never prioritise the things that really make me feel good. Bitch, same. Daily discussions of being wet for life on the pod influenced me to get out more. Since the end of December, I've gone swimming every single day. Huge.

I've literally never felt better, never felt happier, and never felt better regulated. Says, thanks guys. Hashtag wet for life. My new favourite thing to say is swim it out, bitch. I don't think that any of my problems have ever not been solved in the pool. Just putting that out there. Well, that's a great saying, but I think one of the other,

what was the sentence about being regulated? Never been happier, never been better regulated. Like emotionally regulated. I don't think she means like, Oh. Her pose. Okay. If that's what you were thinking.

Yeah, I was like, oh, that sounds nice. Although, you're pretty regular. Too regular. So regular. My love to see it is from Donna Ridley. You won't believe it. Hi, Donna Ridley. Ridley's believed or not.

On Cavalab. Shoddle. Is there a Ridley's believing or not? Of course, there is. Welcome to the Gold Coast. Thanks to Webjet. Turn left at the Condon Kingdom. If you hit the grilled, you've gone too far.

Now, I got this message late last week, and I hope it's still happening. But her neurodiverse nephew is Callum. Hi, Callum. And he is... Donna's nephew. Donna's nephew. Callum is currently on a hot streak on the British TV game show Countdown. What?

Like, there must be like some sort of carryover champion kind of thing. And he's on a hot streak. And so all of his skills and powers have come together, and he's just fucking dominating this TV show at the moment. I love a game show, as you know. So I hope the streak is still going. And I just want to send a shout out to Callum and say, well, fucking done, mate, all the tarpers is behind you.

And Donna Ridley, fucking believe it or not, thanks for sharing because that is so cool. That's so sick. And any UK tarpers probably saw or are seeing or did see Callum on the telly. I'm so frigging proud of him and would love to know that other tarpers are watching him smash it. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. Fuck, that's better news than us moving to the Gold Coast.

Yep. That's amazing. I love to see that. Is there a timeline on the move? What are you thinking? What about? Let's count down from three and we'll say when we're moving. Okay.

Within, like a, we'll live here by? We'll start living here at, yep. Okay. Three, two, one. Twelve months. Oh. I'm not going home. Oh.

Okay. I love that for you. Well, I'll go home and get Bridget Mabes. They know where the fucking... Oh, okay. They can get to be a book. And removalists, like, if there's stuff in the house, chuck it in the van dog and drop it off.

You don't need me there to point to where the fucking couches. You know? What? I am. I'll probably have to pack myself. Why? I don't think I could afford a white glove service like that. House prices here are like half,

like you'd be saving money. Really? Yeah. What do you, have you, I know that you've been around. I actually haven't. What? Yeah.

Because until 15 minutes ago, I had no intention of moving here. I love it, but I just hadn't really thought about it. Well, okay. What if we didn't move to the Gold Coast, but we've got to move to a coast? Yeah, the coast of Port Phillip Bay in Melbourne.

The Bay. it's a city by the bay um tomorrow on the show we've got a confession and it's let me just set the scene over the years we've had 20 plus stories of tarpas um needing to go to the hospital because they've had something stuck inside themselves yep and shout out to producer sophy um even producer cam rip Bree is currently having to crack at it, no pun intended. The people that deal with the file of confessions see some shit. Sophie, she's like, I can't do it before two wines. That was her thing.

Was like, fine, I get it. So Friday afternoon, she'd pour a couple bottles out and fucking just like... Bottles. Two wines isn't two bottles. You know that, eh? How big you get up the glasses in that house? We don't read all of them because after a while they start sounding the same. They do.

Or it's like, it's the same thing that got stuck. Yeah. Ladies and gentlemen, and everyone else listening tomorrow, I don't want to say a new angle of the story, but this is like a, oh, haven't had one of these yet.

I thought we'd heard it all. I actually thought we'd heard it all. Interesting. And if I gave you a hundred guesses, you would not get near it. Golf tea. You match it. Golf tea, man,

I'd do that if I sneezed. All right, tomorrow on the show, hear that. And it feels like a good time that maybe if you have a confession that isn't related to something being stuck up your asshole, if you want to go to Tony and Run.com.com. That actually would be awesome. Yeah, if you've got a confession, just something that, you know, it's completely anonymous, very safe.

If you're listening to this as soon as it's come out, enjoy the Super Bowl. Oh my God, bad bunny. Bad bunny. All right. Love you so much. Bye. Bye.