Toni and Ryan - Fire Up Those Thighs

Episode Date: November 24, 2024

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That's Oxio. Dot CA and use code TARP at checkout to get your first month free. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Arthur, best selling Dr. Arthur Tony Lodge. Hello. We're calling.

We're calling Wales. We're calling Wales. It is a Welsh name. Tony's backing in. I think it's Owen. I was going to say Lewin and the internet said. Yian. Let's find out.

All of those might be wrong. Yian. That's sort of what Mabel calls her grandma. Yian. Yian. I watch Gavin and Stacey. So I get Welsh names. Maybe Bryn means Hill in Welsh. Oh no.

That was not working. What's up? What's up? Oh my God. It didn't even. Hello, who are we speaking with? My name's Yian. What's up?

We did Google it and that's what the internet said. And I said, I don't trust the internet. So I backed in a different name. So sorry. So you're now... Oh, yes, fine. I guess your daughter's name is Lauren Luan Jane. It's been pretty...

Jane. Yeah, it's because the capital I looks like an L. Oh, is that an I? Yes. Oh, that would fuck me right up. Yeah. Okay. Now, Yiann, I that you are, like Tony, a theatre kid, can you tell us what happened

when you were doing Les Mis? Oh, Les Mis Ahab! Yes, I was, it was opening night at Les Mis, and I was about 13, and I was on the barricade, and as it splits, as everybody dies, it broke. And I was caught in the middle of it and I couldn't move. So I was cut off to hospital and there is a bit of medical comedy, really.

The one that the doctor said to me, so what have you been doing? And I just went, well, fighting in the French Revolution. Obviously, I've been just a French student with a French flag hanging off of me with fake blood running down my face. Did the doctor laugh at all? She just looked at me as if to say, shut the fuck up.

I bet you they're like, we hate theatre season for high schools. Like, that's the stuff that they would say. Yeah. All right, well, Yian, we all through today's episode? Too fucking right, they will. Yeah. Yian. This is the stuff that I would say. Alright, well, Yayan, we all through today's episode? To fucking right, I will. Aw, Yayan! Hi, I'm Yayan from South Wales and I approve this podcast. Do you want to know what gets you revved up and fucking ready for a huge week? What?

I'm pretty sure a young, hot boy who works at an X-ray place was chatting up Tony Lodge. See, I think so too, but I didn't want to say anything. Didn't he say, Tony? Oh, actually, he was talking about your, your boobs. My bosoms. My bosoms. My brassiere. Well, he was like, so I had to get an X-ray.

Yeah. And he was like, Oh, are you wearing an underwire bra and touched his own chest at the same time? Like to show me like where it would be. Yeah. I think cause I get a lot of old people through, so they probably used to be like, oh, like anything in this area. And then I was like, oh no, I don't have an underwear.

And he goes clips at the back. And I was like, oh, there are clips back. He goes, going to have to lose that one. I'm afraid. The fact that a 22 year old boy knows anything about bras where I'm still trying to figure out how to fucking unclip them fuck heads. Yeah. And he's just talking smooth.

And then he goes to correct me if I'm wrong, this is the quote. You're the girl from the radio, your laugh is infectious. Well, he said, yeah, you from the radio. I was like, oh, a podcast. He goes, your laugh is so infectious. Like looked me dead in the eye and I'm wearing the gown. That's like open at the back, you know, like, so it's like not that flattering. He was really sweet and he goes like, oh, hi, I'm Sam. I'll be doing your thing. And I you know, like, so it's like not that flattering. He was really sweet and he goes like, Oh, hi, I'm Sam. I'll be doing your thing. And I was like, Oh, you can call me Sammy.

Oh, no, he wasn't a Sammy. Okay. He is a Sam. Okay. Yeah, sorry. My close personal friend, Sam. But would that sort of gash up a little bit? It did a little bit.

I think what, so for context, I am fine. Yeah. I just have been, I need to go and get a bunch of tests for, um, my skin is really bad at the moment, my psoriasis. So I need to like go on this new medic, I'm trying this new medication and it's like immunosuppressant. So they have to check my lungs, my blood. They're checking me for celiac disease. Really? Everything. Yeah. Like the full, what do they say? The full slide of like every single test under the sun because before I do that, you can't take an immunosuppressant if you have like cancer. So they're like, we have to check absolutely everything, which is a math, like

I would rather that they check. Yeah. It's good to know. But it's a lot. I'm like, You're not an admin girl. Well, if everyone chats you up like Sam, maybe the process isn't that bad. Yeah, it's good to know. But it's a lot. I'm like, you're not an admin girl. Well, if everyone chats you up like Sam, maybe the process isn't that bad. Yeah, exactly. So let me play everyone a little snippet from your Instagram a few weeks ago, which I believe you were have to drop us. My name is Tony Lodge and here is my audition for woman that has to drop off a stool

sample at the pathology clinic. Hi there. I just have to drop off a stool. Yeah, I'm just. Hi, I'm just dropping off a sample. Yeah, like the high chairs. Yes. Yeah, it's shit that I put out in my home and then drove in my car. Yeah. Update. I said I have to drop off a stool sample and they said, you don't have to tell us that there's a big container right there that says stool collection.

So I'm in the car before I because they give you the tab and whatever. Yeah. And then they the thing. Yeah. And then you have to go home and they go, oh, whenever you can get this back to us is fine. And I was like sitting in the car and I'm like, okay, I just have to go in there and be really confident because I don't want to make it weird for them. They deal with this all day, every day. So I'm like, and then I woke up to the desk. I'm like, Hi there. I'm here to drop off a stool sample. She goes, Oh, like, I don't need to know. Calm down, mate.

Like she made it weird. And I was like, that is not part of the deal. Did you announce to the room that you were dropping off a Stilts handphone? No, not to the world, not to the room. Because I think, because what I love about the end of that video is, and I don't want to add anyone at the start of the week. It sounds like that's what's happening. The option of not saying anything is not often the one you'll consider.

And you know how often I'm like, just don't say anything. Just don't say anything. Yeah. But when you cancel something, maybe you just say I'm not coming. Just say I'm not coming. Yeah. No is a complete sentence is something Ryan reminds me of a lot. Yeah. And so this is one of the I mean, you know, what should I say? I'm like, just drop it off. But so I'll see the bag and go from. But I didn't know.

So I've actually never done this before. Oh, that's awful. So I didn't know that there was just like a thing. Yeah. So I went up there and I'm like, oh yeah, like I just have to drop off a sample thinking that they would take it out of my, I didn't know if I had to take a number at the Dorovich thing. Yeah.

You know how like when you go for a blood test, you take a number and you sit down and you just wait. I didn't know, I would have sat there and waited for them to be available so that I could hand them the thing. So that's why I went over to the thing. Cause I'm like, Oh, do I have to wait at the pathology thing? And she goes, Oh, like you don't have to tell me what you're doing. You just have to drop it off at the thing. And then points to this container. It's like drop samples here, but any other samples in? No, I was kind of late in the day. Okay.

And I can't imagine that they let them sit. Okay. Yep. Yep. Yep. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You don't want them to sit there all day.

That's actually a great chat. Let's do a round of victims of medical comedy because I feel like I need some support. Yeah. I feel like you've, you've, I didn't even try comedy on purpose because I was like, this always goes terribly for me. I'm just going to go in there and do what I need to do. Yeah.

And that still didn't fucking work. We've got some birth sweet comedy today. Oh, sweet. Which is something I love. That didn't deserve that big a laugh, you guys. I appreciate it. Nah, it was a sympathetic one. It was just like, we're here with you.

And. Sounded real to me. And it was. The only birth sweet comedy that I don't like is when I got savagely burned by the doctor when Mabel was born. Did you hear about that, Sophie? Yeah. That girl was fucking just so good. And I respected her comedic timing, but they also would just see.

Yeah. A lot. Yeah. I fainted when I saw blood and. But also fair enough, it's a lot. And we're just podcasters. Yeah. You know, we don't say anything. Yeah. I fainted when I saw blood and. But also fair enough. It's a lot. And we're just podcasters. Yeah. You know, we don't say anything.

Yeah. Megan Leck. Hi Megan. Or Megan or Megan. I had an emergency cesarean with my baby. So I ended up on heavy drugs and I became hilarious. Remember when Bridget became real funny? When she was pregnant. Yes. My sister was the same.

Yeah. So I think- There's something in the water. I think this happened to Megan and I think the heavy drugs just really like- Amped it up. Amped it up. So my mum was with me and the nurse asked my mum, oh, do you work in hospitals or healthcare? You kind of look familiar. And without skipping a beat, I said, no, she does porno. You probably recognize her from porn hub. Hilarious. The nurse was confused. I was pissing myself, writing my own work and mom who is in fact a nurse and not a porn star was mortified.

That is good though. That's very funny. Yeah. But I just love that no one else thought like she got nothing, but she was just, Oh, I would have kissed that. So funny. Maybe that's what I should have said to Sam, the X-ray technician. He goes, are you on the radio?

I mean, I should have been like, no, I'm a porn star. That's why you recognize me. Yeah. Yeah. You've seen it get cummed on. I'm one of the, I'm one of the top 0.04, you go on those faces and you go, yeah. Yeah, you've seen it get cummed on. Online. I'm one of the top 0.04% earners on OnlyFans. And aren't we all?

Well, they all are apparently, according to them. That's what I said. Yeah. Yeah. Tracy White. Hi Tracy. My friend's colon was flaring up. I raised her to the hospital and the doctors asked if she wanted morphine for the pain.

Oh, wow. Her response was, I don't want morphine. I want the most fiend. She got nothing and honestly fair. That deserves a little giggle, I feel. I think that's quite a funny play on words. I love that both the friend and the doctor were like, no. Except, you know, then do you think that the doctor goes, well, you can't be in

that much pain if you're coming up with comedy like that. Yeah. You're actually too hilarious to need pain relief right now. Like you're obviously fine. Yeah. It really backfires. You know how I love those sentences, speaking of colon where it's like, oh, a colon in the wrong spot can like change all the meanings.

A comma. You mean a comma? There's a comma, but isn't there a... Well, there's a colon, that's the two dots. Yeah. But you mean a comma. Well, just that category of humor. Let me, I've got an example here.

Or a semicolon. Let me just read what I've got here from Lisa. Okay. From Lisa, not Ryan. A colon can change the whole meaning of a sentence. Option one, Tony ate her friend's sandwich. Option two, Tony ate her friend's colon. That is good. Yes.

Yes. Yeah. It is good. Do you know what one I love that tweet that went viral and it's like, Oh, when he sprays his colon on your pillow, foreshadowing tomorrow's confessions. Yeah. Finally, Buccas has a medical comedy. Hey, Buckers, hardly know us.

Buckers has beautiful red hair. Oh. She went in for a pap test and the nurse said, oh, I love your hair. Is it your natural color? And Buckers replied, we're about to find out, aren't we? Sofie, did you send that in? Hi, it's James from South Wales and you're listening to Chilling Your Mind. Today's episode is brought to you by Cozy, the Canadian furniture company that brings adaptable, high quality furniture to everyday living spaces.

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Beck, good on you Beck. Michael Woodrum, good on you Mikey. Emma Williams, Russell Camero, Kayla Kramer and Erica Steele. Steelee. Steelee. Steelee. Medaillea, Steelee, we're the ones. Do you remember that?

No, that might've been WA only. Mama mate. Is that a thing over here? No. I think I want to do a segment about, is Western Australia and Queensland, the Florida of Australia? Because you grew up in WA and Sophie grew up in Queensland, there's a lot of like kooky shit.

And then you go, oh, that just must've been like a Queensland thing. And I go, what the fuck was going on in those places? Yeah, I think that- You know what I mean? Like not in a bad way, but also not in a gr- like just like crazy, like just weird shit that seemed normal for you folk. I actually also think though that there's stuff here that you're like, yeah, that's a thing.

And I'm like, that is weird. Okay. Like, so I think it's just where you grow up and you just think something's so normal. And then you can't, like when I heard Frank Walker, I almost threw up. That is awful. Like, and then everybody-

Well, I feel like I was being lied to because he was national tiles, but apparently it was only Melbourne and Sydney tiles. Yeah. Like that's not a thing in WA. So then everybody's like, like, so everybody does that. And I'm like, that just sounds like,

it's bad. That's bad. That doesn't make me want to buy a tile. Every time I hear that I buy a tile. Are you joking? I can't stop. I bought you a tile for Christmas that time. Still got it? Yeah. Nice. That was, that's very funny. Does he sell them? Every time I can't find my wallet, I press a button and I hear, hello, I paid for the, um, I paid for the, the plan where he comes to your house and finds your wallet. That's top tier shit. Thank you.

Um, not my first time. No, I mean like top tier service from Frank Walker. Oh, thought you were writing my comedy. No, no, no. Okay. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I should have stayed home today. In January of 2023.

Yes. So coming up to two years ago. Yep. Tony Lodge came into the studio hot. Let's just take a little trip down memory lane and remember what she had to say. I want to buy a standup paddle board. Yeah. Have you ever gone paddleboarding before? No. No.

Now, one thing I do know about you, you don't like to not be good at something. Yeah. So if you're not good at it right away, you're just like, it's not for me. Why don't you get a four-lesson stand-up paddleboard lesson? If you commit to four of them, A, you'll learn how to do it. Yeah, I see what you mean. Do the four and then go, no, I've learned how to do it. I actually like this and coming down here every Sunday morning

has actually been a real fucking good. Yeah, so I've actually already bought it. Why have you bought it? So that's really good advice though. We already bought it. So that's really good advice though. It was good advice. It was great advice. It's also great comedy for me, I feel.

Very good comedy. Yeah. Yep. So that was January in 2023 and you had a bit of a, cause it's very weather dependent and it's a big, you got to drive down there, you got to pump it up and so I mean heavy admin heavy, which is not your area. And I feel like you had a pretty shit run. I appreciate that. Like had a few girlfriends that I was doing it with who then were busy or not busy. And then we got, we were about to go.

Remember that day that I'd already put on my sunscreen on and then they all canceled. Yeah. And then you just sat in your apartment with some old. I was all had a lot sunscreen on and then they all canceled. Yeah, and then you just sat in your apartment with some- I had all that sunscreen on. Yeah. Yeah. So a year later in 2024,

having still not stood up on that paddle board. Not through lack of trying. Not through lack of trying. Didn't try a lot, but did try. Well, that's the definition of lack of trying. Not through lack of trying, but I didn't do it a lot. But I did not do it at all. I like had best intentions, but you know.

In January, 2024, we set up Tony Bingo. Next year will be Ryan Bingo. This year is Tony Bingo. Yep. It was in Patreon only. Yep. Things that I thought Tony would do by the end of the year. And a few weeks ago, we announced that the only thing left to do was for Tony to

stand up on the paddle board because she ticked everything off. And I said, let announced that the only thing left to do was for Tony to stand up on the paddle board because she ticked everything off. And I said, let's flip the script. I'm going to tell you about it. Let's go out and be a hero and really take the power back. Yep. Ladies and gentlemen, people in the TARP community over the weekend, I was at Port Melbourne Beach and something came along. It looked like my best friend Tony but it wasn't just Tony that came along. It looked like

a hero. And then a hero comes along With a strength to paddle board And you cast your fears aside Tony fire up those fires You've had the board so long Pilates make you strong And then you finally get up on two feet And a hero stood on two feet. You're my hero.

That is so beautiful. I'm actually tearing up. Sal's really sweet. I'm tearing up because I think I've just pulled a lung. Tearing up. I'm tearing up because I think I've just pulled a lung. Got a great X-ray guy. She did it, ladies and gentlemen. That's my hero. Thank you. It was. It was amazing, actually.

The song or the standing on the paddleboard. Both. Great. Both an amazing feat of engineering. Off air chat. During the break, Tony goes, if you've got something you want to say about this, and I go, just fucking go with me. Yeah. I was like, I'll just follow your lead, mate.

Yeah, that was a complete surprise if you couldn't tell. But I saw it with my own eyes. She's done it. A hero. And even this old guy tried to fucking mansplain the beach to us. He really did. And I was like, mate, I don't think that you know that I've got my bronze. I get the water. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think that he knew that, which is a blot on him. It really is. It really is.

It's actually like him and his son where they're like, what's it like wind surfing? Is that what they were doing? Was that his son? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I thought he was like an instructor, but basically it was like, Oh guys, it's a bit shallow. And we go, yeah, we want to be able to stand up. No. So before that, like, so before you even got there, Sophie and I were like, Sophie and I, Sophie was pumping up the stand up paddle board and I had a pump, but she was like, no, I reckon we'll be able to do it. And I was like, okay, cool. But they were there and they had a pump in the back of it, like a big air compressor.

It was so loud. Like all vibes of the beach were destroyed because they were like in the back of their car. That is a vibe, Rue and I. But then like they like walk out, obviously that was all hooked up and pumping up and stuff. And then they walked to the front of their car and they like started laughing at us because we were pumping by hand.

Fuck those guys. And we were like, fuck off. It was hell random. And then when he, I know. Redacted. He was a, redacted. And then so Sophie and I were like, that's a bit random. Yeah.

I don't really like that. Like the beaches for all. Yeah. And then, yeah, he comes over and he's like, you guys, obviously, beginners, let me give you a few tips. And it wasn't in a nice way. Shut the f*** up. Yeah.

What a flog. Yeah. A flog. Yeah. Good use the word flog. Flog. God, we don't say flog enough. We don't.

And then I don't think that this man knew that it was two years in the making, me standing up on that paddle board. He didn't realize that a hero was coming along. Yeah, with the strength. Did you, oh, we don't have to do the whole thing again. But no, I think it was a really great day. It was a beautiful weather. Did you get sunburn?

I got sunburn. I did a little bit on my little shot. Had to pop the after sun on that. That was great though. You can go and watch the footage. You can. Where should we put it? In the Facebook group?

Feel like a good spot. Don't know. It'll be on the internet somewhere. It'll find you. Because it's for bingo. Oh, it'll be there as well. Yeah. We'll throw it around.

I feel like everyone needs to see the hero coming along. That's beautiful. Sorry, Sophie. Do you want to tell everyone what kind of camera angles we set up? Hero coming along. That's beautiful. Sorry, Sophie. Do you want to tell everyone what kind of camera angles we set up? So Sophie was on the beach filming. Yep. The, um, our mum POV.

And then we both were, we both were wearing GoPros on our heads. Strapped to our foreheads. Um, I, I don't know. One stage, Tony stacked it fucking hard and the GoPro got lost in the murky water. Yeah. And I was like, oh my GoPro! So that was the GoPro! And I, um, yeah, that was a bit of a, and I'm like trying to find it, but we fished that out of the water and we got going again. There, I think, I don't know if any of this made it into the video, but

also like an ice cream truck pulled up while we were out on the water. Did you get ice cream when you left? No, I didn't know if any of this made it into the video, but also like an ice cream truck pulled up while we were out on the water. Did you get ice cream when you left? No, I didn't. But there was a lot of chat, like, and I wasn't really thinking about it, but we were obviously rolling the whole time. And I'm like, Oh Ron, there's an ice cream truck up there. Like, do you reckon we get ice cream out of this? And you go, only if I've got chocolate nuts. And we like laugh about it. And then I'm like, we were filming that. So, you know, there's a few gems in there.

We'll see if that made the cut. We'll see if that made the cut. There's a few gems in there. There is one big difference between Tony Lodge and I. And I actually think this is how you can tell a lot about a person, is when you are at school camp and you need to take your sleeping bag or whatever, when you're in primary school, are you the kind of person who rolls up the sleeping bag nicely and puts it perfectly back into the sleeping bag

cover or are you the kind who either just tries to stuff it in or just throws the sleeping bag into like a garbage bag and just lobs it into the school bus? Or something and you just hope for the best. Because packing up the stand-up paddleboard. Yeah. Well, we, everything had come in one bag and not only had it come in one bag when I bought it, it has come out of the bag and back into the bag many times like for trying to use it. And, but here's the thing, I was trying to pack it into the bag and I'm like, well, obviously this isn't going to fit.

Well, I go, I go, not all of that goes back at bag. And Ryan's like trying to wrangle the stand up paddle board and put it back into the bag. And I'm like gently parenting and being like, yeah, so all of this stuff all went, so I think we might need to just roll it up a little bit. So one of you goes, no, no, no, no, no, she'd be right. And I was like, yep.

So everything here. So it's like the pump, the fin, the actual paddle, everything goes back in this bag. And Ryan goes, yeah. The thing about that is that like, you know, I was the kid on camp that just like had the, um, just chuck it back in the boot. And I was like, yeah. So I was the kid on camp having the panic attack about the sleeping bag, not going back into the bag.

It all goes back in there and it will go back in there. And Sophie was on the phone. She was on a VIP, very important phone call and I phone calls onward and it is. Is it? Not doing comedy, like phone calls one word. Sofie? Is it? Phone.

Oh, the top question is, is it phone call or phone call? And what's the answer? There isn't one. Okay, it might be two words. Maybe both. Reduct it. I think it's both. Let's say both. You can say both.

How convenient. Anyway, um, and so Sophie was busy and these two, we should have left the GoPros running for that. No, I'm glad. I'm actually happy there's no footage of us trying to put that back in or the snippy little, I think it's fucking fine, I just put it in the fucking bag. And I'm like, well, no, the pump went in before and you go, oh, well that's huge bit. Why didn't you pass me that before? And I said, it's all next to the bag. You could have seen it. Nah, it was all good. A few of the people walking past, I probably will like, how long have they been married? Like it really had the energy of a

married couple like putting a tent back together. Yeah. You know? Nothing will sort out a relationship like camping. Like a fucking tent. Yeah. Popping up a tent. And you know the big like sticks with the elastic in the middle like that goes on.

Oh no. Don't know. Fuck yeah. I stay in hotels. Oh yeah. No, that's fair. Get me an Airbnb. Yeah.

I don't fuck with camping. No, that's actually a great point. And it's not for any other reason other than the admin and I'm just not a handsy guy. Victor DeFar. Hands on. You were with me on, in a bathing suit on the weekend. I think that there was a bit of handsy going on. Oh, let me hold you up on the paddle board.

Yeah. Yeah. We all saw. It's on camera, mate. I felt it. I liked it. How do you think I was inspired for the lyrics? How do you think we stood up on the battle board? There was something holding that back.

The lyrics, Tony fire up those thighs and Pilates made you strong. I didn't just come up with those lyrics. I felt those lyrics. I actually really appreciate you putting in the Pilates made you strong. I was fucked after that. My core and my legs from trying to, cause you kind of get up and then a wave comes. So you're like holding a crouch for a while. And then you're trying to like come up.

It's a workout. It's a real workout. And I think if I hadn't been doing Pilates, there's no fucking way I would have been able to get up there at all. Well, Pilates got up. Yeah. Thank you, Dr. Pilates. Thank you, Dr. Pilates. Thank you, Dr. Pilates.

Because I got a bit trigger happy singing and rewriting songs from Mariah Carey. I actually wrote- It happens to the best of us. It's almost Christmas. And because I knew there was a bit of tension with the packing up of the- No tension, mate. It all went back in the bag. There was just a bit of bickering.

And I thought, what will ease the tension? I wrote another song, but I want to ask for your permission. Yeah. If you're okay for me to sing it, I'll just send you the first two lines just to give you a vibe of what's to come. Approved. Approved consent. Yes.

Are you sure? You didn't want me to approve that. I didn't think you would. Yeah, I approved. This it's a bit silly. I didn't want me to approve that and I will. Yeah I approved. It's a bit silly. I didn't think of that. Approved. Tony's riding on your schlong.

Don't think you'll last that long. Beautiful. Tony really loves to ride population pace will go inside I'm not gonna last that long her riding game is so strong Because the hero's coming in. I'm the hero now. My hero comes in. That is absolutely stunning. Sorry, I'm just getting a phone call.

Oh, it's Mariah Carey's legal team. She has something to say. That's absolutely beautiful. I've got an announcement to make. I'm retiring from singing as of now. No. Imagine depriving the world from that. Imagine. I loved it.

Okay. And I thought that the creativity was really beautiful. Okay. How fun is writing a parody song? It's like one of my favorite creative exercises. Do you want to give a little teaser about what's coming up later in the year? Well, my lifelong dream is coming true. And it's not just standing up on a paddleboard.

Yep. But it's singing Christmas standing up on a paddleboard, but it's singing Christmas songs with a twist. Yeah. Well, I guess my retirement is basically like making room for a star to shine. Yeah. Yeah. The last week of the year for us. So five days.

Yeah. There'll be a brand new Christmas song from Tony Lodge every day for five days. Is it enough to call it an album? Might be an EP. Yeah. Yeah. Yep. People are interested in remixing it.

Um, so that might make it an EP. Okay. I think given that all together, the five songs are going to last about three minutes. Yeah. Maybe it's just one song, a medley of sorts. A medley. Yeah. Um, no, but so- Of Christmas parodies from Tony Lodge.

Are we allowed to say the other thing about that week? Uh, yes. Um, and so that week we will be releasing the videos, but you will also get to see their premiere in the video shows every single episode of that last week. So what's that week commencing the 16th of December of December. God, I really held onto that just in case. Yep. Whole week of video shows, a whole week of Tony singing Christmas parodies.

Yep. Music videos. Yes. Music videos. Filmed on our phones at Tony's house. All good. Yeah, all good. Production quality low, quality. Hi.

Hi. Cause a hero comes in you. Thought you were tired. As of now. But yeah, a full week of video shows to kind of kick off the end of the year and say goodbye before we fucking have a little breaky. Yep. I've got to love to see it here. Aside from all of that and your song. and say goodbye before we fucking have a little breakie. Yep. I've got to love to see it here,

aside from all of that and your song. I wrote this before, so I can't change it now. Okay. We got this message from Tanika Mitchell, who is a year four teacher in New South Wales. And Tanika says, she sent this in Patreon by the way, Tanika says, we use normal or not to transition between lessons.

So I guess they go, all right, everybody pack up your math stuff. Yeah. Now we're doing silent reading or fuck and whatever. And she said, my students absolutely love it. For example, one of the kids the other day said normal or not making your friend ask your parents for a sleepover. Cause there's a higher chance they'll say yes. Oh, normal.

We all did that. Absolutely. No, no, you guys, you'll get it. No, she'll say yes to you. Or you know that if you ask your mom in front of people that she can't go to see. Yeah. So you'd be like, oh mom.

She always tries to look like the cool mom in front of those guys. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you go, oh mom, can Rory and Matt sleep over? And she's like, oh, of course. Or can they stay for dinner? And she's like, yep. I'm like, oh, you always cook way too much.

And she's like, mm-hmm, yep. That's good power moves. Isn't that good normal or not? That's great, I love that. I do genuinely love to see that. That's huge. It's very sweet. And also obviously adapted for a younger audience.

Yes. Of course. I was going to, when you said, I thought they were going to pull out the normal or not playing cards and I was like, fucking hope not. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Now I don't know if this is a love to see it or maybe a questioning of loyalties. Oh, I love the term questioning of loyalties.

Not when it's directed at me, obviously, but... Nick the accountant has gone on a bender. Okay. Let me text you what has happened. So I know where he was. Nick... He did not! Hey, Hamish and Andy is in a former Australian radio show now a podcast, one of the greats.

People know who Hamish and Andy are. Yeah, yeah. Or maybe it's an oversea. But Hamish and Andy, great. But huge, like... So Nick, our accountant who claims to love our show, he went to a Hamish and Andy meet and greet con con. They had a conference. Convention, yeah. And he got a tattoo at the convention. I cannot believe that.

So I texted him and I said, tell me. Did he text you that photo? Yeah. I was gonna say, I didn't see that on IG. No, so I spoke to him, I said, how was the ConCon? And he goes, oh mate, it was so good, their podcast is like so good. And I said, how was the con con? And he goes, oh, man, it was so good. Their podcast is like so good. And and I said, hold back. He goes, I may have ended up with a little memento of their show.

And I said, tell me that's not permanent. And he said, it's very permanent. I love it. It's a tattoo that says must be very nice. Do you know the only other person that I reckon would get that tattoo? Yeah. Sophie doesn't. Is he jealous? He's got the hat.

That must be nice hat. So- Not as permanent. No. A hat or tat? Okay, we're getting a spinning wheel. And every portion says heart or tat, like half and half, and you spin it and you either have to get a hat or a tat.

I remember how I told you about trip or snip and the legal team wouldn't let us do it. Yeah, I do remember that. When I worked in Toowoomba, you could win a trip to Thailand or get a free vasectomy, but you didn't know until the day and you had to spin the wheel. Yeah.

And the legal team said you can't do that. Yeah, and that's fair. Is it? Yeah. Why not? I think so. Why? Well, what if you, I guess if you're gambling, you're entering the ring. You're entering the ring? Yeah. What if you wanted both and one of them is going to be paid for? Yeah, that's true. Yeah.

What if you really wanted the vasectomy though? And then you have to go to Thailand. And then you have to go to Thailand? Oh, damn. Well, for the right price, you could get one over there. That's true. Yeah. Two birds, one stone. You have beautiful recovery next to a lovely pool. So like I said, I love that our accountant is getting loose and getting tattoos whilst under the influence on another podcast.

He wouldn't have been able to get a tattoo while he was drunk. Is that like a legal thing? Yeah, they wouldn't tattoo you while you were drunk. So he's lied to you. Oh no, I just assumed because he was away. And it's on the Gold Coast. I assume as soon as you get off the tarmac at the Gold Coast,

you just drown. Someone's ready to tattoo you as soon as you land. Oh no, someone's ready to pour alcohol into you. Both. I've never met a sober person on the Gold Coast. Yeah, that's true. That's what's happening. Yeah.

Wow. Yeah, there you go. Spikes volumes. Tomorrow on the show, we've got confessions, which I may have alluded to earlier. What was the words you said? I said, when he sprays colon on your pillow, but she meant cologne. No, but more. I'm not. I can't.

It's so close to Christmas. Like, honestly, Thanksgiving week, the joy that I'm feeling in my veins, the Christmas joy is bubbling up. You know, I'm making fucking my Christmas decorations on Patreon. Like I can't be hearing shit like this, this close to this. All right, then I'll tell you what else is happening tomorrow. What?

We're gonna be joined by a guest. Not Michael Jordan, not Michael Jordan. Not Michael Jordan. This is the worst week of my life. Tomorrow Scoop Jon has an investigative report. About Michael Jordan. About, actually no, I don't even. No, don't, yeah. I'm interested though.

So something has happened and I've done some investigative reporting and I'm actually come to a conclusion that's gonna. What's it regarding? You're not going to tell us. No, okay. No, no, no, no, no. All good. Insurance fraud. And it doesn't involve my boy Billy, before you ask. Insurance fraud. Well, you can't be talking about me. Love you. Why not? Because I would just never fuck with that, you know? Yeah, but maybe that's you'll just play in the long game. Building up decades worth of character references. Well, Scoop Lodge is on tomorrow as well. Scoop John tomorrow. We'll chat to you then. Bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye

bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye bye candidates. Hundreds of thousands of Canadians with disabilities are ready and eager to work. Help create an inclusive workplace that benefits everyone. Find the tools and resources to help you hire persons with disabilities at Canada.ca slash right here. A message from the Government of Canada. Based on Charles Yu's award-winning book, Interior Chinatown follows the story of Canada.