Toni and Ryan - F**ked Fact Finale

Episode Date: December 15, 2022

[VIDEO EPISODE] I'VE BEEN GIVEN ONE CHANCE TO REDEEM MYSELF!! And Ryan and I exchange secret santa gifts... One of us went overboard leaving the other one feeling a bit shit. Hhahaha see if you can guess who 🤣 Next week we have OGs hosting for us, but we're back on January 3! LOVE YOU!!!! SEE YA NEXT YEAR!!! Toni xoxox Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Plus you can find the links to pre-order Toni's book here! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the podcast. I'm Tony. This is Ryan. Author Tony Lodge. We're calling... We're calling Suzy. Suzy! Suzy, are you there? She's gone to the tower. Hello?

Has she accidentally answered? I think she like bumped her pocket and answered and didn't realise we were there. Hello? Hi, is that Susie? Hi, Susie? Yes. It's Tony and Ryan. Hi, it's Tony and Ryan.

Oh, hello. Hi. Oh, my God. I think you accidentally answered the phone because you went, and then hung up. We were like, oh, bye. Okay, fucking rude. Oh, shit.

Oh, sorry. Susie, will you approve the podcast? I was born to approve this podcast. Hey, it's Susie from Bendigo, Victoria, and I approve this podcast. Welcome. The final video show of the year. Of the year. Christmas special, if you will, because we will be exchanging secret Santa gifts. We will also be writing each other's out-of-office emails.

Yes. And, wow, you've changed, is how people respond when they... Oh, Ryan, no, don't do a bad one. It's not bad, it's just direct. And there's clear boundaries have been put in place. So that's coming up soon. But for the final video show of the year, there has been a bit of conjecture through 2022.

Conjecture, nice. About whether Tony. What did you say the other day, credulous? Yeah, I just love C words. Love my C words. Anyway, about the fucked fact. About whether Tony can or cannot deliver some incredibly amazing fucked facts. Some facts that make you go, whoa, that's fucked.

Because I said I think that that would be a good segment. Yep. And Ryan said, oh, yeah, okay. And I did one. And then he went, you can't do that again. Those facts are shit. Oh, no. It was decided that it didn't really hit right.

Well, every single person that listens has loved it and enjoyed the facts and, in fact, learnt something. Well, so here we are. Yeah, and here's the deal, right? We're not doing this to get – I don't need to win a segment. I just want you to admit that the facts are good. Okay. And you can sail off into the 2022 sunset knowing that you are,

in fact, a great deliverer of facts. Well, just, yeah, okay, let me walk you through the lead up to this moment. Okay. So when we talked about what we were going to do for the final video show, because we were like there are so many cool ideas what we can do, I said, wouldn are so many cool ideas what we can do. I said, wouldn't it be cool? I would love it if we could do this.

And then you went, okay. That's not exactly how it happened. I was relentlessly bullied for months. People have been campaigning to bring it back and I relented. And so finally we were like, all right, yeah, I've got one more shot. Yep. One opportunity. To seize everything you've ever wanted. And I immediately was like, fuck yeah.

And then I was like, holy fuck, like I need to win. This fact needs to be good. Yeah, it needs to be good. So last week while you were eating lunch, I think you got Uber Eats. I think you got a little bar on me. Fucking out me on the fucking video. I think that's what you did. What?

Uber Eats? I ate a salad afterwards. No, I was eating salads as well when I was at work. Yeah. Fuck, he's fucking serious. Jesus Christ. I'm just saying you were busy so you weren't going to watch it. I'm just saying that you weren't watching it because you were busy.

When I go to Mac's on the way home, I pay cash. It doesn't come up with a statement. Oh, my God. And so I jumped on a live stream. So all of the Patreons had a little bit of a heads up knowing about this. It was all tears. And were you working together? We were working together.

So I read out four facts that I had and they went, oh, it's not really a good fact or maybe not that one or back that one in but not this one. So there was some really good teamwork. It's like a comedian doing some type fives to work on their material. It actually was like that. And I delivered it and someone said, oh, maybe move that word around so it sounds a bit better. Yeah.

A lot of people did say on the live stream that fact isn't maybe that good. And I said, as in like not that it's not a good fact, but just that it's like not a mind-blowing fact. Okay. But I said from everything that I've learned about Ryan over the past two years, I have picked facts that I think, based on what you have liked and not liked me saying in the past, I think I have picked some that are very Ryan-jum.

Interesting. Is this Santa hack going to be blown off the top of my head? I hope so. Imagine if that happened. That would be amazing. Fucking sick. Mind blown, like literally. So.

So is this like when there's an AI computer that it picks up like millions of data points to create something? You've like over the year been like, oh, it likes a bit of that, not a bit of that, picking up this, bit of that, bit of that, and then it's all moulded together. Like as an example, right, I saw a fact and it was like about, oh, it was like a science, more of a science-y one. And I saw it.

See, you've just made a face. I have. I saw it and I was like, that's really interesting. Yeah. And I went to write it down. Then I went, no, you don't like things that aren't tangible. Yeah. So when I made the fact about the murderers walking past you,

you went, well, how do you know? Yeah, it's ridiculous. You can't count that. I was like, yeah, well, it's an average. Like if you average out the number, you go, well, that doesn't matter. You can't do that. So with all of those learnings, I've tried to apply them to today. What I want to ask is.

No pressure. I have, I would like to actually, I was going to say something, but I would like to ask you instead. Sure. How many chances do I get? One. One fact, one opportunity. Have you not listened to Eminem?

Have you not paid attention? Eminem, thank you. It's Eminem. Meow, sure, meathers. But could I have more than one chance? Because that feels in the spirit of giving. Don't drag Christmas into this. What would Santa do?

WWSD. All right, here's what I'll... It still kind of comes down to the one. Yeah. But I'll give you your top three. Give me three, two, one. Oh, my God, perfect. Yeah.

Okay. And what I will do is whilst it does come down to that last one, I will allow the momentum of three and two to accumulate. Okay, so it's a little bit of, what's the word? Like a... Amalgamation. Like it spreads over, but the concentration of the vote is from the...

Yep. They're weighted. They're weighted. They're weighted differently. Thank you. Okay, well, fucking we're here. All right, I'm actually pumped about this. Okay.

And you have to go at it with an open and clean mind. I always have an open mind. All right. Here we go. Are you nervous? Yep. All right. I never get nervous before I perform.

Okay. Ready to go. I can feel your hand shaking. Yeah. Hey. Yeah. Can I just say something to you before we do this? I want you to do well.

Thank you. See, that's what I want to hear. I want them to be good. Okay? I want you to do well. Thank you. See, that's what I want to hear. I want them to be good. Okay. I want this hat off my head. Okay. All right. Fact number three.

Fact number three. You know the movie Home Alone? Yeah. Macaulay Culkin is now older than the woman who played his mum in Home Alone. How old was she when they did the movie? Younger than he is now. She seems like 1,000 years old. Yeah, and he is now.

And he still seems 22 in my mind. Yeah. Well, he's like 12 in the movie. Yeah. Well, of course he's really old. That's a pretty good fact. That's a great fact. Yeah.

Very Ryan John, right? As soon as you said something about a movie, I was like, Matt, you know I love it. Oh, you know. I do know. Because what do I do after I watch a movie? Yeah, tell me facts about it. I look up IMDB.

I look up Wikipedia. Do you know they filmed it in Poland? And you also love aging facts because it's something you can imagine. Yeah. Also, did you, when watching the Santa Claus, ever have a moment where you go, have they filmed this in the same town as Home Alone? Because it just felt the same.

Oh, I didn't. But now that I say that, it doesn't feel like. Yeah, kind of. I think I've only seen Home Alone like half a time. Is there like one suburb in the US where they're like, this is American suburb where we film the movies? That's the white picket fence area. Yeah. I reckon they probably do.

But it's probably like a lot at like Dreamworld or something. So a good start. Yeah? Okay. I don't know if people can hear it. It's just started piercing down. It's actually piercing with rain. I hope that no one can hear it.

It's going to be a white Christmas. It's snowing outside. Sleigh bells ring. It's a sign for. I hope that no one can hear it. It's going to be a white Christmas. It's snowing outside. Sleigh bells ring. It's a sign for... I think so. Because it's raining fax and dogs. Is that your second one? No. Bonus fact.

That's going to help you waiting. Alright. That's incredible. Okay. This one. Number two. Okay. Is a little bit skewed away from you, but I have a prop. I love a prop. I know. I know you do. I know.

Okay. This one is from Amber Lockwood. She submitted this fact after the live stream. So a tarpa? Yes. A Patreon? A very proud tarpa. All right.

Bite down on this carrot. Like bite into it? Like give it a chunk. It takes the same amount of pressure to bite a carrot as it would to bite your finger off. Really? Our brain just stops us because it hurts. So the chomp that you just. Just that easy?

Yeah. I could be chewing my finger. Yes. But your brain won't let you do it. Because that first, you really need to bite down. It's like breaking it to get that crack. Oh, the thought of that is terrifying. That's a fucking great fact.

That's a great fact. That's a great fact. Two for three, baby. Two for two, actually. Are we sure of that is terrifying. That's a fucking great fact. That's a great fact. That's a great fact. Two for three, baby. Two for two, actually. Are we sure about that? Yeah. So I guess it's like the, now this isn't the right. Sorry, I'm eating on a podcast.

Yeah, everyone hates that. I know that this is, and we can reuse these for reindeer food for when Santa comes. When I saw them this morning, I was like, I thought that's why they were here. No, see? Little trick. I'm impressed, mate.

So apparently. I'd hate for the momentum to build up. I'm guessing that it's something about like our bone density is like that of a carrot. Yeah. Okay. Or something. I don't know. Well, lucky I didn't bite down on this thing because that's my fake one.

Oh, yeah. That would have been bad news. That would have been bad news. That would have been bad news. Real bad news. Yeah. Where are we going to get another one at Christmas? It's the 16th of December.

Well, for a fact, this finger for everyone is made of half coral and half of my wrist. Is that a fact? No, sorry to Ian. No, that's okay. That is a fact. Does that get added to the weighting because you've brought in your own facts? Sure.

The momentum is hot. So now I've got three for three. Facts. No, you don't get to count it, but I would say the momentum is high. Okay. All right. What I will say, though, is that it would be a real fucking shame for you to come in so strong and full of momentum

and fuck this last one. Okay. Or are you just so confident? I'm confident. Okay. Yep. Okay. Okay.

Drum roll, everybody. The final fact. The final fucked fact. The rain's just stopped. And there's a silent, there's a hush over the city of Melbourne. Everybody waits with bated breath. In anticipation. Oh, my God.

Will Tony sail off into the sunset of 2022 knowing she's a fact queen? Will I be impressed? Will this hat be on my head in 30 seconds? Okay. I'm so nervous you know the movie armageddon oh he's good areas i'm fucking well aware that's your fucking stop right there it's a winner yeah oh Okay, you know the movie Armageddon? Yeah.

NASA actually shows that film during their management training program. New managers are given the task of watching it and trying to spot as many errors as possible. It's like one of their tests. What kind of errors? Like management errors? Or just like actual What kind of errors? Like management errors? Or just like actual errors in the movie? Like actual errors in like. Like editing goofs and.

No, not like, but like science errors. Oh, like you wouldn't hit that tab. Yeah, you wouldn't do that and that wouldn't look like that. And yep, that error is blue, but would it actually be green kind of thing? At least 168 errors have been found by training managers from NASA watching that movie. My hat has blown off my head. How many facts?

168 errors. I'm actually going to cry. 168. Who fucking made that movie? Michael Bay I'll tell you And it turns out You know how the huge plot of the movie Is that it's easier to teach the drillers

To be astronauts Apparently not Don't go doing that in real life So can I add a fact to the fact? Please Apparently during the filming Ben Affleck's like You know they're doing this scene And he says to the fact? Please. Apparently during the filming, Ben Affleck's like, you know,

they're doing this scene and he says to the director, like, this part's pretty dumb. Like, this probably wouldn't happen. Yeah. And the director just goes, hey, Ben, shut the fuck up. Great. Adding your own facts. Bring your own flavour to it.

Mate, you had me at Armageddon. I know. But that. It's a good fact. Management training to an MBA student. Fucking call Peter Drucker, the doctor of management science. Mate. Holy shit.

Can someone please, not just because of the rain, bring a towel to the studio? Well, not for that reason. No, I've shat myself. No, towels ahoy. Fuck, Tony Lodge, you have outdone yourself. That was so good. Yay.

Do I have a Christmas hat here because my hat's on? No, you're fine. You can put your hat back on though if you want. It's across the other side of the room. Yeah, thank you. Yeah, so you know what? I'm really proud of that. And thank you to everybody who helped me workshop.

You should be paying the Patreons, not the other way around. I would just like to say The Home Alone one And the Armageddon one I had locked away I just had another sciencey one Locked away for a rainy day? Oh

You wouldn't think so in December But yes Tony got caught riding a scooter I did I got caught in the rain this morning Yeah You look good You look real

When you walked in You were a bit sort of A bit windswept Yeah and you're like Oh got caught in the rain. I was like, oh, fuck. Great day for me. Fucked and fucked.

Hey, it's Susie from Bendigo, Victoria, and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout-out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Facebook group. No, Patreon. Patreon. Facebook group, though, is available for anyone. Alice Champion. And what a champion.

Yeah. God. Do you reckon that Alice saw the tier and went... I can't not see that one. No-brainer. I've got to. Paloma Alassaf. You'll be hearing from Paloma next week.

Oh, I've actually got something to say about her at the moment. Oh, have you? Yep. Cade McLogan, thank you so much. Simone Thompson and Lords Rodney and Evan Stickles Palmer. So we hear from Rodney Stickles Palmer a lot. Rodney Stickles Palmer was one of the ones who was quite aggressive about bringing the fucked fact back.

Well, Rodney's probably not was one of the ones who was quite aggressive about bringing the fucked fact back. Well, Rodney's probably not even listening anymore because he died about five minutes ago from being excited about the fact. Yeah, probably. Rodney's from Perth. Rodney is the one who sent us the video of the garbage truck with our faces on it. Yeah, thanks for that, Stickles. Yeah.

I appreciate that. The big SP. Now. Silly penis. Today is our final video show. That was goodilly penis. Today is our final video show. That was good. Thanks. Today is our final video show of the year.

So next Friday and the Friday after that won't be. But next Friday I've got something special. Next Friday? Yeah. What are you going to do? Instead of a video show, there'll be the reaction video. Oh. Tony and I have done a little something special.

Something special. To replace the video show. But in our place for the next two weeks as we give ourselves a bit of a break, Oh. Tony and I have done a little something special, which we'll come out next to replace the video show. But in our place for the next two weeks, as we give ourselves a bit of a break, some tarpers are going to be hosting some throwback episodes. Yes. So shout out.

Next Monday will be hosted by the Big Twig. Woo. Charles Patterson is hosting next Tuesday. Kimberley Majors. Kimberley Manors. She'll be in there as well. Liana Bruja Hardlin will be next Thursday. You mean Lenina Bratina, Tom?

Yeah, my mistake. Sorry, yeah. Don't get her name wrong, mate. She doesn't like it. Ashley Olsen, don't mention her and her sister, will be hosting as well. Mary-Kate was not available. Paloma from Texas will be hosting. Paloma Allesoff, yeah, she's doing Tuesday.

Travis Ladeau. Travis Ladeau. And the final episode of the year. Surprise. Surprise. Surely. A surprise. That's what I thought.

I thought it would be like an exciting, like, oh, my God. And the final episode of the year by two surprise guests, hosts who will be hosting the throwback episode. It is not Santa. So that's the next few weeks, and then we'll be back January 3rd. January 3rd, which is a Tuesday. So the Monday you'll have to kind of keep yourself busy. Well, everyone has a public holiday because they're all hungry.

Public holiday, everyone's hungover. You've only eaten cheese for like two weeks. Yeah, yeah. Because it's that weird time where like- We'll be back on Monday to record for Tuesday. Exactly, yeah, yeah. So we won't be on Monday. to record for tuesday exactly yeah yeah so we won't be on but that's what's coming up and uh it's been a long year and we are looking forward to

having a week or two off very much so i'm actually going off to record the audio book for my book oh so thanks you're gonna rest up then yeah so i'll be really well rested by the time i come back but before we go we need to do our secret Santa. So as a business, which we have, this year Tony and I became a business. We were accused of being a business the year before, which we weren't. Which we fucking weren't.

But we were accused of being a business. We were accused of being a business, which we weren't. We were not a business. Now we are a business. But there's two of us that work here. Sorry, Franco, you don't count. There was some chat about that. Yeah, someone I did see said, Franco, we will include you in Secret Santa next year.

And maybe if they were three of us, Secret Santa would make a bit more sense. So, hey, hang on. I was going to bring them over. No, they're my gifts. So, we pulled out of a hat between who was going to buy for each other. Oh, so if they're from you, then that means you got me

because you already gave it away. You fucked it up. Why are you ruining this? No one else knows. So you knew that, but no one else watching you, no one else listening knew. So we picked in a hat between Ryan and Tony. I did not pick myself.

Ryan did not pick himself. And also BJ and Pippa did a secret centre and Pippa did not get herself. So I would like to give you, because I want you to open BJ's present so that you can, like, say what it is. Okay. I think that makes sense. Are we doing that first? I'll do BJ's first.

First, okay. So we'll do BJ and Pippa. So you could go and grab Pippa's gift now and then I'll. So. Let's pause before I get the gift. Actually, I'll get the beautiful gifts. I actually don't have anything physical to give Pippa or Tony. I mean, whoever I got.

Whoever. Which is such a letdown and less, would you say less romantic? A hundred percent. Less sexy. And Torbs and I don't do Christmas gifts, so I just won't get to unwrap anything this year. Tony's being a dick right now and it's kind of fair, but I think when we hear what Tony and Pippa got,

we will be very understanding. So this is for Pippa picked BJ out for Secret Santa. This is from Pippa to BJ. And as you'll see, it is beautifully wrapped. I did this. Pippa did not. She chucked a tantrum. She doesn't have opposable thumbs. But I made those little gift tags on my cricket.

So I just got a cricket. It's craft mum Tony. That is actually, can I take a very quick photo of you holding the gift? Because I think that's very cute. Lovely. You could have done this off air. Do it now. The wrapping is exquisite.

Thank you. You should be able to just like undo that bow. Yep. That's fucking good. I don't want anyone to think that the wrapping's gone unnoticed. Thank you. I appreciate that. Because it shows that you care.

I also just love wrapping gifts. You do. So I get something out of it too. It's a selfish act. Yeah. All right. This is for BJ from Fipa. But maybe like go quickly because we've got to still do our presents as well.

Okay. It's a wooden box. Oh. And it says, Slay Mail, priority delivery for BJ from your cousin, Pippa. Within the box. Oh, open the smaller one first. Okay.

So this is for BJ from Pippa, and I know that you can't see anything right now For people listening It is a really delicious Collar, because his collar is pretty Crook, but No but this is just a fancy Christmas one And it has got a little bow tie

So he can be a little Christmas Mister At your house It has got a little belt and a little bow tie. So he can be a little Christmas mister. Yeah, Christmas mister because we're having Christmas at the house. At your house. So you're going to need to dress him up. Oh, yes. I mean, for BJ, yes. Yeah, the other one's not a dress up if that's what you're thinking it is.

Now, Pippa heard that BJ's favourite toy got destroyed. Lobby. Lobby V2. Lobby 2.0. Yeah. So BJ's very, very, I think it's a bit further down. Yeah. BJ's very, very favourite toy, Lobby, did get a bit destroyed.

So Pippa heard that and she was very sad because she'd be so upset if one of her favourite toys was destroyed. So she bought a replacement Lobby for BJ and this little Christmas box. That's beautiful. Thank you, Pippa. You're welcome, she says. Thank you so much. BJ does love lobby and he misses him.

He's now got Jerry the giraffe. Yeah. The OG lobby. And that's great. It'll annoy the fuck out of everyone else with the bell, but it's fucking cute as well. You'll know where he is the whole day. Yeah. Do you want to move that down so that it's not in your way?

Oh, no, it looks beautiful. It does. I want to feel the festivities. Oh, okay, great. Now, I'm so annoyed that I don't have something physical to give you. That's okay. But that doesn't mean that the present's not sick. Okay.

It is a... So this is for Pippa? This is for Pippa. Yeah, from BJ. From BJ. It is... Oh, should I just say what it is and then I'll explain it? Okay, yep.

BJ got Pippa a mother and daughter styled photography session with an incredible pet photographer here in Melbourne. So Pippa and her mum can get a beautifully styled photo shoot. Now, the reason it's like a voucher type situation and the reason it's like a voucher and not a, because there's a few details that Pippa's mum need to choose. Right, like so when it is. No, like if they want an outdoor adventure shoot

or if they want an in-studio kind of vibe, like, you know, like a really crisp in-studio. The styling and dress-up because there's different themes. Lovely. If you want prints, there's like a matte finish or a gloss, which is included in what I've got. Woo! So is this for Pippa or Pippa and I?

No, this is for Pippa. Oh, but mum gets to go as well. Lucky mum. Does mum not want to go? No, I can't wait. That sounds so lovely. That sounds great. You don't love BJ's pizza?

No, I love it. I love it. That's very sweet. I can't wait to spend the day because we'll go and have lunch beforehand, have a couple of wines, loosen up. Should I say the name of the place? Please, yeah, because it's- Is it called like portography or something?

Not far off it. I just- Erin King is her name and she is known and her portfolio is incredible. Okay. And she not only does the photos and the shoots, but then she'll like Photoshop and make it all beautiful, make the background perfect and stuff, and then you can have it. Why are you?

It is just so funny, and I think it's such a sweet gift. I feel like you don't like it. But it's so fucking random. I'm more BJ fucking squeaky. I was expecting like, oh, I got Pippa a bone, like let's move on. This really opened the top gift. How much was it? Do you promise you don't hate it?

Do you promise you don't hate it? I'm crying. How much was it? Can I just say, if anyone, if you're short on cash, go into the pet photography business because they are fucking, it's a crime scene out there. They are taking you for a ride. It's cowboy world.

They are taking you for a ride. Holy fuck. I didn't know until I just clicked yeah because it was like enough for the session and a print. No, why do you don't have a car? And a print. So it's one print. Well, it's a session.

Yeah. But the session, like what I've got in the voucher includes enough for a print as well. One print, right. But you can obviously get more or less or whatever and stuff. I mean, that's how they go, isn't it? That's how they go. Yeah.

Well, when I clicked do you want to add a print, I was like yeah. Of course, yeah. That was a mistake. Jesus Christ. Yeah. But I hope you guys, it will actually be a fun day. No, that's really sweet. And because she's so little and cute, I feel like when she's a bit older,

because is she still growing or is she not going to get that much bigger? She's probably like full size. Okay, but she will age. I guess what I was saying, you'll be able to look back to like when she was a puppy and stuff. And whether you want mum in the shoot or not, there's options. Oh, okay. All right. But I don't hate, and it's not my present now that it's been gifted.

I don't hate if you were dressed up together. Okay. The same brain. Okay. I love that. People will love that. Thank you very much. You're welcome.

The gift of a day out. It's a gift of a day out. Yeah. Entitles you to an outdoor on-location pet photography session and a print. much. You're welcome. The gift of a day out. It's a gift of a day out. Entitles you to an outdoor on location pet photography session and a print. Okay, yeah. Lovely. Well, seeing as you've given the gift

of art, it only seems fair that now I share my secret Santa gift with the person that I got. Merry Christmas. I had you. Did you? Yeah, shocker. Are you supposed to reveal that? Well, I. Merry Christmas. I had you. Did you? Yeah, shocker.

Are you supposed to reveal that? Well, I guess you have, so here we are. I guess we already knew, didn't we? We were all playing along, but we all knew. Merry Christmas. Thank you. Incredible wrapping. Thank you.

You don't have to say it every time, but it doesn't go astray. Now, it feels like a... Just open it. Okay. Okay. Okay. It's a print. Oh, my God. Is this for the new house? Well, okay.

So it is a lovely print by a First Nations artist. Her name is Rachel Sara. We've talked about her before, right? Yeah. You went over the limit. It didn't. She's an incredible artist. We know her.

I mean, I don't claim to be friends on the internet. But this piece in particular, so she like releases new collections like once a year or whatever. And this one in particular, this piece is called Momentary. Yeah. And the description of it is, life doesn't need to be complicated. We weren't born to feel confused or anxious or to live in fear every day,

but somehow we allow our minds to be conditioned that way. Life is about moving through the mess at whatever pace you need to to reach the other side. Beautiful. Yeah, and, yeah, I know that art is like a really personal thing to buy. I love it because I love the colours and it's fun and, like you said, it's not too serious and randomly you know there's a space, that front room at the house. Yeah.

Which is going to be kind of. You're probably, like, covering your microphone a little bit if you want to, yeah. Guys, I'm covering the microphone. Yeah. We'll put a photo up in the Instagram or something. That is beautiful. Thank you very much.

I hope that. I know that art is, like, hard to buy other people. What I was going to say, there's a front room at my house that's going to kind of be the home office. And if Tony comes, sort of like a creative space where we can. Like our area. Yeah, and I think that's going to be perfect there. It's the first room you see in the house and I'm going to have a gallery.

Wall. Wall. Yeah, oh, perfect. Because it's just going to be all like fun, colours, great stuff. Yeah. And I love her so I'm so excited that she can be in our house now Part of it, yeah So I hope that you like it

Thank you, that is a beautiful I do, I fucking love that It's a beautiful present Did you speak to Bridget about it? No No, I just bought it Because I'm having a pink phase Oh, are you?

Oh, well then I've picked well Because I just like the bit of colour and excitement Yeah But I also really liked the description of it, that it's kind of like you get so bogged down, not you, like everybody, get bogged down in like the day-to-day. And I just really liked that maybe you could look at that and go, oh. And the fact that obviously we supported local art is lovely,

just as you did for Pippa's Gift. BJ did, sorry, for Pippa's Gift. I hope you like it. I know that buying off other people is fucking risky. Yeah, that's fucking risky. No, you've nailed that, though. But yeah, I hope you like it. You've nailed that. No, I'm glad, like I said, I'm glad that I can have her in my house. Yeah. That sounds weird out of context. She's a lovely girl, though. You wouldn't say no. Well, I would because I'm married and expecting a child. Now, I don't have the beauty, again, of giving you something

to un-raff. And this is the least unsexy line you want to hear when you're getting a present, but I'm going to forward you an email. Great. It's at your. Yeah, did you get me something for Christmas? Oh, didn't you get my email? Okay, that's now sent. Okay, hang on.

Hang on, everyone. It's forwarded from Taylor, but go to my email. There's just a big picture. Okay. It hasn't come through yet. Are you doing that thing where like something's on the way? No, no. I've just sent it.

I've seen you. I've heard your phone buzz. Okay, it's just come. No, no. I've just sent it. I've seen you. I've heard your phone buzz. Okay, it's just come.

Breathe out loud for everyone. Oh, my God. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Tony Lodge private screening, entire gold-class cinema, 18 seats for friends and family, cocktails and canapes, and private bar before and after. Is that your favourite Harry Potter one? It is. Did you ask Torbs whether that was my favourite Harry Potter?

Don't know. Did you? Don't know. Oh, my God. So we've got an entire gold-class cinema. Is Harry Potter 4 your favourite Harry Potter? It is my favourite Harry Potter, yeah. So Harry Potter 4 is on there and all cocktails, drinks and whatever and there's like the private bar beforehand so you can all meet

and have a chat and a cocktail. And then you know how sometimes you get anxious about like when they're coming in and doing all that, whatever? They said that they'll have a little chat with you privately to just nail the thing. And because there's no random public that you're going to ruin the show for, you can obviously have whatever you want whenever you want and they'll come in and just take care of you.

And everyone else, your closest friends and family, you've got a whole cinema to watch Harry Potter 4. That is a great gift. Do you promise that's the right movie? Yeah, no, that is my favourite Harry Potter movie. I feel a little bit anxious because I don't have 18 friends and family. Okay, I've discussed this with them. Did you say it matches just be two people?

Did you go, could we just get the gold class that has two seats in it? Okay, so do you want the logistics chat? Oh, is this good chat for the pod, do you think, or should we take this off air? So I said, what's the smallest gold class? She's not going to be bringing anyone with her. No one likes her. She's not going to be bringing anyone with her. No one likes her.

But they said, so how it works is you have to, like, book every seat. But then you. So you just, you definitely also. No, I didn't. No. Cut of friends without good friends at Village. You just paid for my Christmas present? I said, they go, we'll give that to you for this much.

And I was like, no. How much was our limit? We said the limit does not exist. Oh, I thought it was $200. Well, I was like, I'll pay the limit and you can pay the rest. Tony can pay the rest. She'll fix the bill when she leaves. No, no, Village can fix the bill.

Do we have to make a few videos for ourselves? Oh, mate, there'll be videos. Okay. So is the real gift in all this the fact that you're going to watch a Harry Potter movie? Well, here's what I wanted to ask you about the 18 people. Yeah. Is do you want me to ask you about the 18 people. Yeah. Is do you want me to be one of the 18 people?

Of course I do. But I know you hate Harry Potter. But I love you. And I will watch. Because we are. Real good colleagues. Okay. So close.

And I will watch Harry Potter 4 without the context. Of 1, 2 and 3. Well, I've got a bit of 1 because we've watched 1 and 3. Oh, yep. But does much happen in 2 or 3? No. Okay. No.

Well, I'm pretty good then. Who's the bad guy? The guy who's in Die Hard. Voldemort. Voldemort. No, the guy. Die Hard ends up being a good guy, doesn't he? Yeah.

Yeah. Snape. The bald guy with the nose. Snape's all good. Yeah. Who being a good guy, doesn't he? Yeah. Yeah. Snape. The bald guy with the nose. Snape's all good. Yeah. Who's that? Also, you were trying to give me clues. You're on camera, mate.

It's a video show. No, I know, but I was just trying to make- It's gotta be Voldemort. Oh, that's Voldemort. I thought that was like- No. Voldemort. He's the bad guy.

That's all you need to know, basically. So here's the deal. If you want me to come, I'll come. Of course I want you to come. I need to fucking fill some seats, mate. Well, you've got 18 seats, but the thing is you don't have to. If you just want to go with Torbs and really settle in. Is it like, because you know how Gold Class is like at the back?

No, no, no. It's your own cinema. Oh. I think you're thinking of like the luxe bits. No, this is like the smaller. Oh, see, I thought it was like the back part. And I was like, oh, are they selling like nosebleeds at the front? Well, because it's not a new movie coming out.

Yeah. Like they're putting this on for you. They're going to have to order it from the people. Well, I've got the DVD. Do they want it? Oh, well, that might cost us an extra two. Yeah. That would save us some money.

Yeah, that would save us a bit of cash. They could log into my stand and just stream it. Just play it. Hot spot off my phone. You laugh, but. That could be a lot. Because they kind of said, oh, with ones that aren't new releases, we have to, like, get permission from the distributor

and reorder the reel and stuff. Oh, fuck. And so there's an extra fee for that, which has been covered because I love you and it's a Christmas present. But you've got 18 seats. It's an 18-seat cinema. So it's nine booths of, like, you know how there's, like, the couple of two?

So there's nine of those booths. Right. It's like three, three, three in the double and that's it. And so you can choose. And no one's going to talk because no one else is there. So you can either have it for you or Torbs or you can invite people or whatever. I do like the idea of no one talking in the cinema.

See, the thing I liked about having a cinema to yourself is that you can talk and there's no one else. No, but like you can talk is that you can talk and there's no one else. No, but like you can talk but no one else can because there's no one else there. And you don't have to be scared of like, I can't talk because I don't want to ruin the experience for someone else. Yeah, because that was what happened with the Maltesers at Jurassic World, remember? Yeah.

That's why I knew you. Because you're like, I don't want to ruin it for everyone else. But when there is no everyone else, then suddenly you can do whatever the fuck you want. Just for myself. Yeah. You're a real man. You're a real man. You know what? Let's take a logistics chat offline. Yeah, maybe I'll just ruin it for myself. Be a real man. Ruin your own day.

You know what? Let's take a logistics chat offline. But that's a great gift. You promise? That's a really thoughtful gift. Well, I... That is a really, really thoughtful gift. I think someone suggested something similar for the Fuck It Fund, and I went, I like that

idea. All right, well, get ready, because next year there's going to be about 800 personalised videos. Hey, Village, turn in right here. Sponsored videos for Village Cinemas. So shout out to our good friends at Village. Our good friends at Village Cinema. That you have your own cinema to watch your favourite movie.

Oh, my God, that's a really great gift. And I apologise. Now that you know what it is, I'm sorry I can't, like, give it to you. No, that's a great gift. That is a really – yeah, that's a very thoughtful gift. Okay. Thank you. Thank you for saying that. And thank you for your present.

It was beautiful. We've done well this year. I feel a little bit upstaged. Mate, you think you're upstaged? How do you think Pippa feels? Pippa brought BJ a lovely gift. Oh, no, she did. That was mean. It's mean because you react like that

Pippa bought BJ his favourite toy That unfortunately was destroyed At BJ's hand I think we did well We did real well this year I'm nervous for next year I can't afford it already Before we get out of here we need to set each other's out of office email.

Yeah. Tony, we'll be going first. I've written yours. Great. Hey there. Thanks for your email. Tony and Ryan is taking a break over Christmas and only checking emails occasionally.

So I'll get back to you on my return on January 3rd. Merry Christmas and chat in the new year! Exclamation mark. Ryan. I think I want you to read your email out. to you on my return on January 3rd. Merry Christmas and chatting the new year! Brian. I think I want you to read your email out. Oh, should I have done that for yours? Nah, maybe. Okay. I've texted it to you.

Oh, okay. Okay. Oh, Brian. Go on. So this is what people are going to get automatically when they email me. Actually, can you just spell out the first word before you say it? H-M-M-M-M. How many M's?

Four. Okay. This is what the message sounds like. Hmm. Seems like a next year problem to me. I'll be back on deck from January 3rd, so if it's still relevant, I'll get back to you then. See you next year.

Keep going. Author Tony Lodge. You know what? I'll use it. Yes. Yep, I've got to. Hmm. Sounds like a next year problem to me.

Mine's so nice. If it's urgent, call the cops. But do you like how on yours you're checking emails occasionally, so I guess you're running the business for the next three weeks. I'd love to. Your mobile phone number's in there as well. Is it? I obviously didn't read that out for privacy reasons.

What do you love to? You're busy at a mother-daughter pop-tography shoot. Portography. To round out the year for the last video show, what do you love to see? Keep it fucking

tight, I reckon, as well, if you can. If you've got it in you. We're doing a little bit of an air check on the way through, are we? I'm just actually looking for mine. Oh, do you want me to go first? Yeah, please. I have... This is a fucking bold way to end the

year, I think. On a recommendation. A bit of holiday viewing, if you will. Yeah, alrighto. You've had a good fact. I'd hate to lose the momentum. I recently watched the TV show Bad Sisters on Apple. It's like on Apple TV or whatever that thing is.

Amazing. Right. Okay. Torbs and I demolished it in the weekend. Bad Sisters. Bad Sisters. So it's about there's like five sisters and one of them is married to a real fucking asshole. Like he's just like, you know, like treating her not very nicely.

Is it the stepdad from the Santa Claus? Neil. Neil comes back and it's him. Reprising his role of fuckhead stepdad. And she is like, he's kind of And he's kind of hitting her a bit and being really emotionally and financially abusive and just like a real awful guy. Turns out that he's done. Yeah, he's a real Carla Conti.

And the sisters actually come together and go, we're going to kill him. Whoa. Okay. It is the best show I've watched in ages. It is so fucking good. We started watching it on, like, Saturday afternoon. Yeah.

And then all of a sudden it was midnight and we were like, we've got to go to fucking bed. Yeah. And then we finished the rest of it on Sunday morning. That's when you know it's good. Yeah, because we just, like, could not wait to find out the end. That's huge. It is such a good show.

I fucking fully recommend while you're bloody in a coma after Christmas lunch or in the days where you've eaten too much cheese and you don't know what time it is. Gay call. Fucking pop it on. Pop it on. My I Love To See It is from a guy called Mark. Hi, Mark.

Now, he goes to the cafe, orders his thing. The barista goes, can I get a name for the order? And he goes, yeah, it's Mark, but with a C. And have a look on your phone. I love this so much. Have a look what's come back. Cark. How's it spelled?

C-A-R-K. So, you know how we went to the cafe ourselves earlier this morning? Yeah. I got you something. Yeah. It was a little piccolo, and it's Tony with an I. There you go, mate. I-O-N-Y

This is better than the cinema. Excuse me. Just for comedy. Definitely cheaper. That is it. Can I get a spare cup and a texter? There's not a lot of names that this would work for. So that's very clever from you. I read that and I was like, maybe I should do it for...

It worked. Two props today. The carrot and the cup. What a way to finish the year. That's amazing. What a way to finish the year. You know the other one of those I love? What? Stephen with a

PH. Whenever I see that meme, I fucking piss my pants. It's so funny. Alright, Merry Christmas, everyone. Merry Christmas. Thank you for hanging out with us all year. Yeah. Honestly, fuck, what a

fuck. What a... Fuck. What a year. Just amazing. This time last year, we were working our full-time jobs and recording this podcast on the weekend. On a Saturday, cutting it on a Sunday. Yeah, and it looks very different. Our lives are very different because you watch and listen to this podcast. So thank you very much.

Our dreams have actually come true, being able to do this every day. And fucking, like, what a life. Best job in the world. Our dreams have come true. Our dreams have come true. Fucking love you. Thank you so much for listening. Thank you for everyone who's filling in for us over the next few weeks.

Exactly. So there will still be episodes over the next couple of weeks, but take it easy. Enjoy your holiday season, whether you're celebrating, whether you're with family, whether you're with friends, whatever you're doing. Drive safe. You know how that's like a thing that celebrities say at the end of like a Christmas.

Yeah, it's like, oh, sounds like someone's got a car. Drive safe. Well, drive very safe, because if you drive with my car, then you'll fucking take care of it. I was quietly hoping when I opened this I was going to see it. The keys to the Audi were in there? Just the Audi. Mate, the Audi is sizable.

Could you imagine in the Santa Claus where he pulls the canoe out of the bag? It's an Audi. Oh, my God. Get out of here. All right. And our final thing to save is... Meowering Christmas. When will we see everyone next time?

I hate this. I'll let Tony do it on her own. See you next year! Love you. Love you so much. It's not funny. Love you. Love you so much. It's not funny. Love you. Bye.

See you next year. Do you get it? Because next year. Yeah, I got it. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Just making sure. No, no, I got it.

Yeah, I'll see you. How good was the fact, though? The fact that we'll see everyone next year. Bah! Franco, turn it off.