Toni and Ryan - Funeral Directors and Piña Coladas

Episode Date: September 14, 2021

I'm really sorry for what you're about to hear - lots of people will be upset with my accusations but I'm SO happy to finally have this off my chest. Have your say on our pod in our Facebook Group! Love you x Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hello? Hello, is that Cindy? Oh, my God, it is. It's Tony and Ryan calling from Australia. How are you? Oh, my God! Oh, my God, this is so exciting. So you're in Northbrook in Illinois.

All we know about Illinois is that's where, like, Chicago is. Are you close to there or are you in a smaller town? I'm about two hours south. It's like, it's a larger city. I just went to bed and I put my retainer in, so I was like, I've got to get it out now. Tony is about to start Invisalign, so welcome to this world, Tony. Yeah, thank you.

I'll have to take it. Take it out. I texted my friend. I'm like, you're not calling. I'm going to bed. We're so sorry. We were running a little bit late, but I'm so excited to talk to you. This is so exciting.

Same. I've been telling all my clients about you. They're like, oh, my God, we love them. So you have a following here. So I used to live in St. Louis, which is, I believe, sort of close to where you are. And then my brother. Yeah, a couple hours away.

Yeah, and then my half-brother, who I randomly only just met on Ancestry.com like two years ago, he lives in Chicago. Chicago. I'm like right in the middle. Exactly. Oh, well, Cindy, you could go and meet up with all of Ryan's family. We'd just love before we get started with this episode,

if we could get your approval. My name is Cindy and I totally approve this podcast. Oh, Cindy, what a legend. Thank you so much. Thank you. All right. Thanks again. We'll chat soon, Cindy, what a legend. Thank you so much. Thank you. All right. Thanks again. We'll chat soon, okay?

Okay, bye. Bye. Bye. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast, episode... Nine. Now, on Monday, we mentioned a review from Zachary, who said, I recommend the Tony and Ryan podcast, and you can trust me, because unlike Ryan,

I don't give shit recommendations. You can pride yourself on that, Zachary. Good job. Well, coming up later, I nervously recommended The White Lotus. And, Tony, I believe, oh, see, even the way you're looking at me. Well, we've talked about it very briefly. I said, yes, okay, I'll have to watch it because you'd recommended it to me. I was very nervous.

And I'm nervous to hear what you – okay, okay. Well, we'll get to that. Okay. Also, what were we going to do before you trumped me with that Dalai Lama story? Okay, so before I talked to you about the Dalai Lama, I said there's something that COVID has destroyed. Yes. And I'm happy it's gone.

Okay. And that's coming up. We were going to do that on Monday until you just casually mentioned that the Dalai Lama had stroked your face. Yeah. And blessed your hands. Yeah, very lucky. Question.

Question. How long have you and your partner Torb's been together? Seven? Seven, eight years. Did you guys? It's our anniversary next week actually. Really? Yeah, the 19th of September, yeah.

Oh, how lovely. Cheers. Did you guys start like dating? Because I feel like our generation isn't like a I'll pick you up at eight to go on a date kind of vibe. How did you start? We went to uni together. Yeah.

And we were friends because we were working together on shows and stuff at WAPA and we started sleeping together. Yeah. And we slept together for about a year before we started going out. Right. And I asked Torbs out. As in like make this official. Yeah.

So this is actually the perfect example of what I'm talking about. Oh, great. Because I don't believe our generation dates. You kind of just like hook up with a friend of a friend and you hang out and then after a while you're like, are we doing this? There's no like courting process of let's go for dinner and a movie and then, oh, maybe we'll just, you could come back to my place or whatever. Yeah, or I see you at a cafe and I go, oh, gee, she's beautiful. I'm going to ask Tony, I'm going to ask what's your number? And then I'll like call you later and ask you out for dinner. Do you know that that's

how Andy Lee and his girlfriend Beck met? He was at a cafe and she worked there and he like chatted her up. Really? Yeah. What a guy. I wouldn't have the gall to do that. Not like you'd fucking say no. Absolutely not.

If Andy Lee came over to you and said like, hey, honey bear, you want to come around to my place, you'd be like, yeah. Andy Lee randomly came up in conversation while Tony and I were having lunch earlier and you threatened me and Andy saying, you better make sure Andy listens to this podcast. No. You did. No, I didn't.

No, I didn't. Andy, can you just reach out to us and just give us a nod and go, I'm listening. I mean, he's going to confirm any minute now. But we were talking about a common friend and that you knew them and that they were talking to Andy and I said, oh, my God, I hope he said to listen to the podcast because they were talking about podcasting. It wasn't that I was like, no, I didn't.

Have you got a thing for Andy Lee? Oh, who doesn't? Yeah, no, good call. Yeah. You're right. Yeah. I'm not an idiot. Well.

Well, I mean. That's your opinion and you're entitled to it. But I think, so Bridget and I met, she lived with someone I worked with. Yeah. And I genuinely think the notion of dating, I actually don't have experience with that in my life, which is why I'm struggling to relate to Marcella. Do you think it's because, sorry, just before you get into Marcella.

No, no, I'm just telling a story. She's not actually dating me. I won't be getting into her, nor will the person she's dating, it turns out, but I won't be in that. What was that sound? Is that not what it sounds like? I won't be. I won't be.

You won't be. You won't be. I can normally do that water drop thing. You just let me know when you're good. Sorry, I can't get it. Okay. So before we get to... Do you think that we don't understand the dating thing because both of us miss Tinder?

I didn't quite miss it. I got a bit of Tinder. Oh, did you? But again, Tinder's like you kind of skip that whole courting thing because you're just on an app. Oh, and then you fucking. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Marcella was freaked out by something that happened on a date. Now, she feels guilty about it because the guy didn't really do anything wrong. So she's not sure if she's entitled to feel grossed out, but she feels grossed out. Is this an am I the arsehole? Have you seen that thread like on Reddit? I love that. It's not quite because she's moved on from this guy.

But I'm curious to know. All right. And I'm going to put it out there. It's one of those things where if we're all the truest, most perfect people we claim to be, there's a correct answer. But actually, you know what I mean? Yep. So the guy sends her a text and says,

I'm going to pick you up at whatever time. I'm going to take you out for dinner. Great. Looking forward to it. That's quite nice, isn't it? That afternoon he texts and says, oh, is it okay if I pick you up in the work car? I actually then have to drop something off at the office on the way

to dinner. Like it'll take an extra few minutes. Is that fine? As long as he's not like a funeral director. Fuck off. Fuck off. He's picked her up in a hearse. Are you kidding me?

What are the odds of me saying that to you? As soon as I asked, I was like, she's got to guess it. You are joking me. He's rocked up in a hearse and the thing that he had to drop off is just a coffin? Not just a coffin, no. Two coffins. No.

Oh, my God, the coffin's got her Auntie Norma in it. Norma's fine, but there is what was a person in a coffin in the back of the car and she sees the car pull into the driveway. You know, it's like that stretched kind of sedan. It's like a limo, but it's not a limo, obviously. Not as many people fit in it. Yeah. And he's like, oh, hey, you know, we just need to drop off work.

So he was going to drive the car to work and then pick up his actual car and they'll continue on their way. She's. I'm really bothered, yeah. She said he didn't do anything wrong, like that's his job. It's a very important job. It is. It's an important part of ending someone's story. it's a very important job it's an important part of ending

someone's story um she's like i respect it but i just without knowing that was coming she said i couldn't look him in the eye the whole night i just couldn't look him in the eye and it was awkward and he kind of knew and she knew and then he dropped her off later and she just like thanked him for the evening and they just never spoke again. And, again, she said, I know he hasn't done anything wrong and it probably says more about me than it does about him, but that's just how I felt. It's sort of, you know, like that ick. She's like, as soon as it happened, I was like, I just can't, like, not.

Yeah, you just can't shake that. Yeah. But is she in the wrong? Here's my question. And let's just all assume, which it is, he's obviously entitled to do that job. It's a very important part. The job isn't the problem.

So here's my question. Is she in the wrong for being a bit judgy about it and not accepting it? Or is that something he most definitely should have flagged before he pulled up in the driveway, in the car with something in the back of the car? Yeah. Because saying, oh, I've just got to drop something off at work, that could be a set of keys. A laptop.

Your water bottle that you normally leave on your desk. You know, that's not rocking up in the Rees's plumbing van. That's rocking up in a hearse. Like the problem is not the job that he does. I probably just would have flagged that and been like, hey, or just done it beforehand. Go to the funeral. Drop the, yeah.

Do you know the other thing that is bothering me a bit? What about poor Auntie Norma in the hearse? I don't really like the thought that if that was my Aunty Norma, that she's gone on a joyride so that this dude can get it on with Marcella. I don't think he would have described it as a joyride, nor would have Norma. But do you know what I mean? Where is my dead relative?

Oh, they're actually on a hot date at the moment. I find that a little bit disrespectful to, like, the body in the car. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? That kind of bothers me. So you're with Marcella? Yeah. He's in the wrong.

I don't think that he's necessarily in the wrong, but I don't think that that is a very good thing to do if that's your job. Because think about, like you just said, it's such a big part about ending your story and, you know, their family would have been trusting this company, this business with the body and he's like, oh, I've just got to whip around to Coles, then I'll grab Marcella, then I'll drop the car off just because it's easier, save on fuel.

Like, you've probably got a fuel card, mate. Work's paying for the fuel, mate. I don't know where he picked up the deliverable or. I don't think. No, that's weird. I'm sorry. I don't know if I'm in the right or the wrong in what I think, but I think that is freaking weird.

I don't know about that. Marcella, I think we're with you. I'm with, yeah. You don't need to that. Marcella, I think we're with you. I'm with, yeah. I think you don't need to feel guilty. No. Because she's like, am I an awful person? I don't think you're an awful person. I get why you might even be asking the question,

but I think most people will be like, you know what, mate? It's a bit weird for us too. Do you know the other thing is that being a funeral director or a mortician or anything like that, it's not a weird job, but it is different. That's going to catch people off guard. I think that if you know, yeah, I think that if you know that you've got a job that maybe you should flag the same way, you know, if you talking on the air all the time, or you and I doing this podcast, you kind of need to tell people in your life that you're going

to use their stories as content, right? Do you find that you ask people in your life, like if someone tells you a great story or something happens, you're like, can I talk about this? Yeah, that's the story that I was going to tell today but now I've got to tell the COVID story because we, yeah. I texted him and I was like, can I tell that story? I'll like won't use your name.

Yeah. Yeah. You have to. What other jobs besides funeral director or podcast host do you have to flag? Hitman. Yeah. Yeah, you're killing people. I'd rather know that.

You'd rather know. How's work today? Oh, busy. Yeah. Three. A priest because you've probably got quite strong values. But also would a priest be dating? That's a great point, yeah.

I'm trying to think about other jobs. I guess. I know what you mean when you say with podcasting, if you're going to use a story that includes someone, you would ask their permission. But for some reason in the context of this conversation, it's like, oh, hi, nice to meet you. I actually just need to let you know that I host a podcast.

I am a white, middle-aged, middle-class person. So clearly I have a podcast. So just to let you know. Yeah, just wanted to flag with you. Because I don't want that to like sneak up on you. Yeah, our podcast gets six listens a day. So I just wanted to let you know. Yeah, just wanted to flag with you. Because I don't want that to like sneak up on you. Yeah, our podcast gets six listens a day. So I just wanted to let you know. If you're in the car and you look in the back, I'm a podcast host.

Yeah. So that's what that is. Oh, if I rock up in the work car, there's a microphone in there. Yeah. Yeah. What other jobs would you have to flag with? I don't know. I feel like.

What about like if you're a medical person and you're like on call? See, that's the next one I was going to say, if you're a shift worker. But that doesn't need flagging, but it's probably a consideration when you're dating someone. When I lived, I lived in the US. Yeah. I went to college. We know, mate.

In St. Louis. Studied economics. Boring. Boring. You don't have to flag that with anyone because no one wants to chat to you. Just to let you know, I just wanted to flag in advance, I'm actually real boring. So just wanted to make that real clear.

So maybe don't call me back. Yeah. So I think I had a microeconomics, some economics class, and the lecturer had a PhD in economics. Oh, yeah, PhD. And he'd written his whole thesis on, like, the car industry's evolution of what, like, just some really boring thing.

But his title was Doctor, and he said he was on a flight and it was, like, out of a movie. Oh! Oh, my God! He's choking, she can't breathe, whatever happens. Is there a doctor on this plane? And they literally, you know, they go through the list and go... They do.

Yep, Doctor, and he's like, oh, list and go. They do. Yep, doctor. And he's like, oh, I can't. I'm not a medical doctor. Well, he's just like, I can't. But they're like, hey, it's no time to be modest, sir. She's choking. And he's like, I've written a thesis on the car industry, sir. I'm not a doctor.

She's not breathing. Yeah. You're like, well, I can't get my calculator out and tell her to take this many breaths per second. Like, I can't fix that. And he said it was a really awkward conversation. Oh, yeah, you'd feel awful. And you'd feel like you had catfished the people around you

by being like, yes, I'm Dr Morton, but actually. Like, oh, Dr Morton, you just know a lot about the car industry, so maybe just a mister is enough for you. Yeah. I got offered to do a PhD at Swinburne. Did you? Yeah. So when I finished my undergrad, I did an extra year for honours

and wrote a thesis and stuff. Yeah. Exegesis, is it, when you do honours? A bit shorter? A bit shorter than a full thesis, is it, when you do your honours one? Oh, no, it's just the thesis. Oh, okay, because there's like different levels. Yeah, so when I finished that, they're like,

if you want to continue your work, because what I did ended up being okay. What was, um, oh no, cause I want to know. It was about accounting and intellectual capital and how you count for intellectual capital, like account for it. So anyway, they said, you've made a really great start and contribution. If you would like to keep going, um, you can do a three more years and you would have a PhD and be a doctor. And doing the thesis was it lot and I was like, you know what, I actually don't want to do it. I'm glad I've done what I've done but I don't want to keep it. It's hard.

It's a big commitment. And that's like you're kind of all in at that stage. And then I was like, but I'd be a doctor. One of my life dreams is to become a doctor. Not a medical doctor because that would freak me out. Yeah, absolutely not. Like a doctor of something. But I was going to, I considered, like not for long,

but three years of my life of dense study and intellectual capital disclosure. For the class. Purely so I could go out on the weekend and be like, what's up, ladies? Doctor. Dr. Ryan John. Yeah.

Oh, you're a doctor. Oh, that girl's choking. Oh, well. Yeah. Oh, you're a doctor. Oh, that girl's choking. Oh, well. Yeah. Yeah, I'll tell you what she's choking on. Sorry. Sorry. That came out before I could even think about what I was saying.

Anyway. So this. Oh. Oh. Um. It didn't work again. Anyway. Anyway, I decided to go into radio instead of academia.

That is the end of our tale. Yes. Marcella, thanks for listening. Yeah. So I've got a, I saw this article the other day and it was about things that COVID has destroyed basically. And it was quite sad. It was kind of talking about how is COVID the end of like meeting someone

and shaking hands or kissing someone on the cheek or giving them a hug or all of these things. And it was pretty sad because it kind of wakes you up to think about how much we actually touch each other in our daily life. You should thank your lucky stars, Tony Lodge, that we're not allowed within 1.5 metres of each other. Oh, gosh. Makes me sad every day.

I mean, it could reach. What could? Nothing. My arm. Good. Anyway, and it was basically talking about how... I'd love it to be able to reach. Oh, no, no, no.

But I would need probably 150 of me. That's one centimetre each. Oh, thanks. I got you. You should have done the fucking doctorate. Looks like you already did. Anyway, so. That's what I would have written it on.

Mate! Oh, no, you go. Should I just? No, no, you go. Should I just? No, no, you go. Do you want me to go? Let me just get my chair and settle in. Oh, no, because now when you sit down, there's pressure. Oh.

Anyway, it was talking about all of these things and it kind of highlighted the amount that we touch each other, get close to each other and, you know, if you're sitting at the football and you're in a big grandstand of people, you're touching all these other people. Absolutely, rubbing shoulders, yep. And it made me think about something else that we won't be able to do anymore and I'm really happy about it.

What? COVID is the end of high fives. What kind of sick monster are you? High fives. You don't. Are the worst thing. worst thing in the world. There is nothing more awkward than someone being like, oh, great job, high five. I hate it. I hate it. We've already discussed in this very studio about your need for real problems. Please. Sure, you might not be the biggest fan. You might not be an advocate.

You might not write your PhD thesis on high fives and the impact of, but surely they can't F you off that much. I hate them. Why? They are so socially uncomfortable. And when someone goes like, no, great job. I hate it. And then you know how when someone asks you to do a high five, they go like, oh, we've missed. Oh, do that thing where you look at my elbow. It's just shit.

It's just a shit conversation. Just like get away. Get away from me. So how do you like to be like contributing to team vibe and someone says, hey, great job. Oh, that was awesome. Just say that. We don't need a touch.

And I'm a touchy person. You are. I would actually describe you as handsy. Yeah, don't get me wrong. It's not that I have the problem with the hand contact. Then what is the problem? I just hate the energy of a high five. Do you like an elbow bump?

No. Kiss on the mouth? I'll take a kiss on the mouth. But, like, I just don't think that a high five needs to exist. I hate the energy of them. Is it because it's, like, bro-y? It's not. It's just there's just something so awkward about a high five.

I had this personal trainer once, right? Stopped going, obviously. Years ago. And she was one of those personal trainers. Oh, yeah, yeah. You know, like you do one push-up and then, like, oh, you do one push-up and then you do five squats. Oh, high five there.

And it just fucked me off so much. It made me so angry that I actually stopped going, obviously. You stopped going to a personal trainer because she was overly generous with high fives. Yep. Too many high fives. What I will say to, like, support you on this. Thank you.

I feel like there needs to be more talk about consent when it comes to high fives because if only one person's real, like you both need to be really, if you're both committed to a high five, it's fucking great. And then also. You watch the footy, someone kicks a goal and they're like, yeah. But when one person is like, one push-up, up top, and you're like. Oh, and you do the half-assed high five.

Yeah, and it's not, this is the difference. Both people keen, one person's keen. Yeah. It's like patting a dead fish. It's just awful. But high fives just in general, hate the energy of them, hate the expectation. It's like someone's being like, my energy's here.

You've got to do it. Okay, let's go through a few things here. You already said yes to an elbow bump? Yeah, an elbow bump is fine. What about a fist bump? an elbow bump? Yeah, an elbow bump is fine. What about a fist bump? You don't really do the same.

There isn't the same energy expectation of an elbow bump or a fist bump, so I'm fine with that, but it's not my favourite. Meeting someone. You know how at the moment with COVID you do the elbow bump to meet someone? That's fine. I actually don't mind that, yeah. Do you know what I love?

Shaking hands. I love a firm handshake. Really? That doesn't bother me at all. Can we shake hands now or is that not kosher? Oh, no, we can't. What about a butt tap? Depending on who it was. Like, g'day champion, how's your day?

Depending on who it was, but there's no energy expectation. You just need a butt? And we've got a couple in this room. A couple of butts. But also, obviously that's not appropriate for everybody to do. What do you think about the French, like, kiss on the cheek, both sides?

Yeah, kiss on the cheek, love that. That's fine. What about a hug? Obviously, COVID permitting, yeah, a hug's great. So you'd rather a hug than a... But we're talking about a greeting, which is different because you don't have to match anyone's energy. But if you're having a conversation with someone and you're like,

oh, have you listened to Lorde's new album? They're like, yeah, how good was it? High five, yeah. I just hate that. Don't touch me. Let's talk about the album. But don't ask me to high five you or I'll die. Probably not.

It just occurred to me. Yeah. You and I have played beer pong together. Yeah. At Regional Sam's house. Oh, yeah, we have. When PJ pong together. Yeah. At Regional Sam's house. Oh, yeah, we have. When PJ moved home. Yep.

And we played together and high-fived multiple times. And I probably initiated, now that I'm having that really anxious flashback of. Well, I wouldn't have initiated it. That's what I mean. And it just occurred to me now that I was that guy. And it's kind of like social pressure. If someone raised their hand. You've got to do it.

Otherwise, what are you, the biggest arsehole in the world? You're not going to meet a high five? Here's what you should do. This will be your thing now. Other people do it and they go, oh, they're doing a Tony Lodge. Yeah. Whenever someone raises a hand, spit on it. What?

Like they put their hand up and they're like up top and you're like, yep. So there's been a couple of situations where someone has gone like, oh, great job. And they've gone with the hand up and I've gone, I don't like high fives. And they go, what? He doesn't like high fives. I'm like, I don't like high fives. I don't.

They make me really uncomfortable. I can't match your energy. And my energy is always capped out. Always on. I'm always at high fives. I'm like, I don't like high fives. I don't. They make me really uncomfortable. I can't match your energy. And my energy is always capped out. Always on. I'm always at 150%. Yeah. But the energy for a high five just can't muster it. Do you say, I don't like that?

Or should it just be more stern? Because we're talking about this strangely on the Business Bible Podcast with relationships, with negotiations, sorry. Instead of saying like, oh, I don't think we can, you just say, we don't do that. Yeah. So when someone goes, hey, up top, and instead of saying, I don't think we can, you just say we don't do that. So when someone goes, hey, up top, instead of saying I don't like high fives, just go, I don't high five. Yeah, I don't do high fives.

And deadpan, you've got to be deadpan. I don't do high fives. But that's like, it's a boundary. I want to, you know, it is. Yeah. Well, I said there needs to be more consent about, there needs to be consent and boundaries around high fives. Agree. I want to put it on the record needs to be consent and boundaries around a high five. Agree.

I want to put it on the record that I'm open and ready for a high five. Oh, you are such a high fiver. Is it because I'm wearing this shirt? No, it's also because you've played sport your whole life. You're like a really lovely dude. You're super enthusiastic and you're super supportive. So I can imagine that if I said, oh, I did a push-up, you'd be like, oh, yeah, mate, high five.

And you would do that. That conversation would never happen between the two of us. Because I'm not doing the push-up and you're not going to be watching me. Between the two, like, we cover a lot of topics when we're just hanging out. Exercise routines is not something you and I discuss because there ain't much for either of us to talk about. And because when I got in today, I said, right before I ate a Kransky,

I said I was really upset this morning because I put on my denim jacket and it was like a straight jacket because it was that tight on my arms. And this one that I'm wearing now is Torbz. And if you've seen Torbz, he's a lot bigger than me. He's a big guy. I actually thought you were going to mention something else. Oh, what? Earlier today, you said, oh, my feet are really sore

because I've got new runners. And I go, oh, yeah? How far to run or walk? And you said, I went to the tram and sat on the tram to go into the city to the dentist. Oh, your poor feet. How are you still standing? Oh, my God.

Her runners have been worn in. It must be so hard on your feet to sit on public transport and let something else drive you to your location. I walked to the tram, though. There's a tram stop at the end of your building. How far away is it? You could spit on it from your balcony. It's probably, like, 50 metres away.

It's not very far. How are your feet? It's just... Do you want to give a low five It's just, it's the back of my heel. It's the back of my heel. I got some new like platform sneakers and it's just, it's just scratched the back of my heel. Don't you come over here for a high five because I'll shit myself. I'm not going to high five you. I don't do high-fives. Ryan is standing in front of me with his hand up and I'm saying, I don't do high-fives. I'm setting a personal body boundary and I'd like it if you respected that.

What do I do now? My hand is just up. Literally. So what are you going to do? You're like Barney Stinson on How I Met Your Mother. You can't high-five yourself. No, see, now you've got that hand up, you're going to have to wait until you see somebody else today that is willing to high-five you. Well, we're in a lockdown.

You're the only one I'm legally allowed to be in the same room in. So if I don't get a high-five from my wife on the way home, it'll just be me and the dog waving at each other all afternoon. Do you understand what I mean, though? I do. Thank you. I hope that people don't just think I'm a party pooper for hating high fives. I hope that too for you.

Oh, no. Hi, I'm Cindy. I'm in Illinois and I'm listening the Tony and Ryan podcast. I know it sounds like really cliche and lame, but like we are chuffed and surprised about people listening and enjoying it. So thank you very much. It actually makes a massive difference to us. I don't understand the data or the technical bits,

but if you press subscribe or follow or whatever that button is on the app you're listening to now, it actually helps us and boosts us in the rankings and stuff and whatever. So if you can do that, that would be awesome. And thank you to everyone who's left reviews and joined the Facebook group as well. Yeah, it's very cool. So we pay you out on this show, this podcast, Tony and Ryan.

Subscribe, hit subscribe. We, I'm saying we, the royal we as a team, pay you out a lot for your shitty recommendations. We talked earlier about how someone on Twitter, Zach, that he paid you out and said, I'm not Ryan John, this recommendation's not shit. I don't give shitty recommendations like Ryan does. Yeah.

It hurts, by the way. I'm a real person with feelings. Sure. Nah, just kidding, mate. I just supported you. Through my high five. Through one of the most stupidest complaints I've ever heard. That's not a stupid complaint.

And you won't even support people trolling me in the reviews of our own podcast. Okay, well, please. I really am just the butter to your bread. It's true. I would like to apologise. Yes. I've been so nervous about this.

White Lotus? I watched the White Lotus. All of it? Yes, watched the whole thing. And it's only like, what, seven or eight eps? It's not a big one. Yeah, it's not very long. I think they're all an hour each or something.

The trailer doesn't do it justice. No, it really doesn't. It really doesn't. And I know that I'm a bit late to the party because White Lotus has been trending online maybe a month ago for about two weeks and then it all died down, just like Tiger King. Oh, I remember that. Isn't it weird that Tiger King happened during the first lockdown?

That feels like 10 years ago. Doesn't it? Do you remember Clubhouse? Oh, the app? Yeah. Yeah. That had a big few days. Oh, do you have Clubhouse?

I did for two days and then no one's used it. Well, I've got it, but I don't. Yeah, exactly. Because you had to be invited to the- It was so strange. And now no one uses it. It's ridiculous. I actually got a DM today or overnight.

It was in my request and it said like inviting me to a different app called Clapper or Club. Chlamydia? No. No, it was like another and the thing was kind of like, are you sick of TikTok? I've seen your content on TikTok. Absolutely love it.

But are you fed up with TikTok? Invite you to this new app. And it was obviously like a bot thing. Yeah, sending you a thing, yeah. But, yeah, I haven't even heard of that before. Yeah, good. Well, I'm glad they're doing well for themselves. And I'm not bored of TikTok.

I'm actually quite enjoying it. I really like TikTok. So, and a lot of people have found our show from TikTok are real, so welcome. Which is very cool, yeah. So, the White Lotus. So, the White Lotus. If people haven't seen it, give me the like two-sentence

like synopsis set up of it. Okay, so all of these very rich white people are going on a holiday to Hawaii. They rock up to this hotel and it's basically like the trials and tribulations of them being in this hotel. Yeah. And each different couple or family has like their own story kind of in it and they kind of like intertwine a little bit

and it's like their experience on the island. Am I right in thinking that you watch the first episode and you kind of go, oh, okay, but then as each episode goes on, when you get to learn more about the people and you learn more about them, just every episode you're like, oh, I'm a bit deep, I'm a bit deep, and by the end of it you're like, you're so invested in all these tiny little, like there's lots of stories going on and you just seem to care more the more you watch.

And you learn so much about all of them. How good's the Australian actor? The guy that plays Armand? Yeah. He was great. So great. He was really, really good. So you're happy with the show in general?

So I quite enjoyed it because I think I said this on one of our first podcasts. I watched the trailer and thought that looks shocking. Looks bad. Ryan's done it again. Yeah. But the actual show is quite good. The only thing is that it doesn't really go anywhere. It is slow.

It's a bit underwhelming because then you kind of get to the very end of the show and you're like, oh, it's over. Yeah, no, I did feel that. It doesn't really come to like a big antithesis. Hang on, let me Google that. What word are you trying to say? Antithesis. I think you've just made that up.

Nah. You're trying to say. I said the wrong word. Antithesis means a personal thing that is the direct opposite of someone or something else. Like an antonym. No, that's a different thing. Are you trying to say anti-climax?

No, I was trying to say like. Because that's just climax is the opposite of that. No, I was trying to say like the tip of the thing, you thought that it was all working up to something and there was going to be this big thing. Well, the last episode does kind of solve or just conclude a lot of stories. But I don't really like it when it just like concludes

and it's a miniseries, right? Or a limited series. It's not coming back. It might, but again, I don't know how. And, you know, I don't want to spoil it for anybody that hasn't watched it, but you know the thing that happens right at the beginning? That goes nowhere.

It really doesn't. You don't see them again. It's a real red herring. It really is. Yeah, because you think like holy moly, like what's going to be the outcome of this? And then nothing. I think because traditionally in movies or TV, there's always like the good guy and the bad guy.

Yeah. And then when the good guy, in inverted commas, wins, you get some sort of like satisfaction. But because the more you watch of this show, you start to not really like any of them. Yeah. And you don't get that satisfaction. There's no payoff. Yeah. Because to not really like any of them. Yeah, and you don't get that satisfaction. There's no payoff. Yeah. Because you don't like any of them.

They're all kind of jerks or weird or effed up in their own kind of way, right? Kind of like if you watch It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. You are designed to hate the characters. Yeah. So when they do shitty things, you're like, oh, that's so shitty. And then you're like, oh, but the whole show is them being shitty. Did you find it fascinating though kind of because it was a bit kind of underhanded humor tongue-in-cheek like they were clearly making some points without making the points kind of thing and

also the dark comedy of like the things that were kind of going on and there were just a lot of things that happened in it where i was thinking that's gonna go somewhere but then it didn't and it kind of was catching me off guard and I didn't really know what to expect so in that thing that respect I guess it was really good but it was also just like very weird show to watch and also it made me just really want to go on holiday yeah true because watching them like sitting by the pool drinking like eating nachos just like made me really want to go on holiday. One day in the next 15 years, you and I will be allowed out of lockdown. Yep.

We'll have our bikini body rigs on. Oh, yep. I'm going to need 15 years to find a personal trainer that doesn't try to fucking high-five me. And we'll be sipping pina coladas, taking sweet. What? What did you say? Sipping pina coladas. Pina colada? What are you? Pina colada. Pina coladas taken sweet. What? What did you say? Sipping pina coladas.

Pina colada? What are you? Pina colada. Pina. The N has the little thing on it. It's pina. Don't tell me about little things, mate. Because that's like pina.

Pina. Pina colada. No, it's pina colada. It's not pina colada. I'm telling you it's not pina colada. It's pina colada. Do you know how to say any alcohols properly? It's not pina colada, it's piña colada. Do you know how to say any alcohols properly? It's not pina colada, it's piña colada.

How many letters do you just want to borrow from other words and just cram in and pretend that they're there? The little thing above the N. Turns it into a niña. Yeah, it's like a piñata. Pina colada. It's like a piñata. Pina colada. It's not pina colada. I'm Googling it, everyone.

I'm going to do that thing where you can do that. How do you pronounce? Pina colada. Thank you. Pina colada. Play it again. Pina colada. That's what I'm saying.

No, you're saying pina colada. Sorry, it's a YouTube video. A lime slice on a gummy coconut with a Pina Colada flavoured drink inside. So you're telling me the song goes, Do you like Pina Colada? No, it says, If you like Pina Coladas. It's not If you like Pina Coladas, which is what you're saying. Who sings that?

It's called if you're like pina coladas, which is what you're saying. Who sings that? It's called The Escape Song. I can't wait to prove you wrong. I'm so excited. You'll be waiting a long-ass time, mate. Can you skip through the song? Is that not the first line? No, it's the chorus. How long is this going to take?

Can you please jump into the Facebook group and tell Tony she's an idiot? No, it's Pina Colada. It's here. Oh, my God. My mind is what nothing is real anymore. I told you it was Pina Colada. What is... Don't tell me what I have.

Anyway... Nothing is real. I don't... I stand corrected. Thank you. All right. You love to see it, please. Believe it or not, I've got a great you love to see. Thanks for that.

If there's something I don't love to see, it's me being proved wrong. I love to see Ryan say, I stand corrected about the piña colada. That's made me very happy. What an awful way to finish off a great week of podcasting. How dare you? We covered a lot this week. The Dalai Lama, you got arrested.

He's all that. No homework this week, guys. You need to rest off. No homework, yeah. Have a week off. Yeah, take it easy. I want to send a shout out to Lara Smith, who I would say is a bit of a Nostradamus

and can predict the future. Oh. She said, guys, I really love the podcast. I love the realness. Tony, don't change. Because she knows. She doesn't. She sees a future diva.

And then you replied and said, we all know she's going to change. Ryan replies, she'll change, just you wait. How dare you? I keep it real. If you like piña coladas. Thanks for listening. Love you. Bye.

She'll change you wait. Angie Wang. Hey, Tony, you should call me a fireman. Why? Because if there's a house on fire or anything else, I'd smash your back doors. And you've got a big hos.