Toni and Ryan - Gadgets in Ryan's bedroom

Episode Date: August 14, 2023

Some confession action (If you've got a SPICY confession you need to get off your chest, we wanna hear about it COMPLETELY ANONYMOUSLY HERE!) and some regular action in Ryan's boudoir. Love u!Check out our Patreon at patreon.com/ToniandRyan, and make sure you join our Facebook Group! Find #ToniAndRyan on Instagram @tonilodge and @ryan.jon OR on TikTok @toni.lodge and @ryanjondunn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge and we are calling Alan's who's in Penrith in Western Sydney. Alan. Alan's. Alan's. Hello. Hello, Alan's. Alan's. Did I do my name as well? Oh my God.

What has, okay. What is going on? What is your name Please for the record State your name Alana Have you spelled your own name wrong Alan's So we got a desperate message An email from Alana

Saying I'm so sorry but Instead of writing Alana I wrote Apana And we get this desperate message From Alana She's like I won't get the email.

And I was like, it's fine. Producer can take care of it. So Alans and Aparna, would you mind approving this podcast? I would love to. Woo-hoo! Hey, this is not Alans, and this is also not Aparna. It's Alana, And I approve this podcast. Coming up today, my Apple Watch, which I now have.

I'm an owner of an Apple Watch, has been banned from our bedroom. Trying to get your steps up. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. You're saying, but look at him go. I think it's probably fair enough when you think about it. But yeah. I have some initial thoughts about the watch and we'll get to them in a minute. Oh. Is the editorial section opening later today?

Yeah. Well, my name's on the sign as well, so I get to say. I've decided. That's coming up. But first, this is Top Confessions. Beautiful. People submit their confessions at tonyandryan.com.au. They are completely anonymous.

And today we have a confession from a grieving friend. Oh. Now this is a sad story. Hang on. No, I'm not ready for that. I was ready to talk about your Apple Watch. I didn't think I was going to be sad today. Do you want me to start with anonymous doggy styler instead?

Rock the microphone. Nah. Do you want me to start with anonymous doggy styler instead? Rock the microphone. Nah, do the grieving friend. Now, whilst the sad story, I think at the end of this, we'll all agree that the grieving friend is a good friend to have. Oh, okay. Okay. I'm going to trust the process and let you guide me on this audio journey.

Tragically, suddenly, unexpectedly, my friend passed away. That's fucking shit. Her very conservative and very Catholic parents lived out of town and I offered to help pack up her house with them. When I walked into her room, I found a bunch of bongs, heaps of marijuana and a large pink sparkly dildo. The friend wasn't expecting to die that day. You know what I mean?

They thought I was just going to come home later. Yeah. Also, don't threaten me with a good time. Not coming home later? No, I meant the bongs and the dildo. Oh. I was like, fuck, dude. Is everything okay?

Like, fuck, dude. Is everything okay? No, I was talking about the paraphernalia and the things going in your butt. It's fucking hell. Yep. So I need a moment so that I can honour the story the way it deserves. I knew finding these things would make an already hard, confronting and confusing time more difficult for the conservative parents.

So I stuffed all the goods into a bag, pretended to have an important work phone call and then left in a really awkward and strange way. I actually think, says the confessor, that the parents thought I was robbing their dead daughter. Well, you didn't take cheap stuff. And she didn't need it. You know, she's not coming back for it.

I've seen Supernatural. That's not what they come back for. You know when, like, you cremate a person, you cremate their possessions as well? You can. Yeah, but you know what I mean? Like, oh, that anymore Better burn it all off And then everyone's like

Woohoo Yeah cause you can like Pop things in there And stuff Yeah Even though my friend Is literally dead I didn't want to get

Her to get caught Nah I think that That's good Guy behaviour Yeah Almost swore then Sorry

I feel like When people say like She's looking down on us now My friend would actually Be looking down Pissing herself laughing at me as awkward as I was trying to do the right thing. She'd just be like, thanks, mate. Like, thank you for just saving that whole thing.

Oh, work, phone call, got to go, bye. And the bulging bag, the dildos poking out the back. I've got a work thing and the friend's like, okay, she's a weirdo. Yeah, oh, God. But like I said before, a sad story. But I think the grieving friend. They've done a solid for the. Yeah.

Yeah. I think that's really nice. What do you think about the concept of they would be embarrassed? It's like, but they're dead. Nah. Save dignity. It's almost like you don't want to change the way that the people who are alive feel about that person. Yeah.

Like you don't want to give them an opportunity to like ruin them, not ruin because that sounds funny, it's weed in a dildo, who gives a fuck, but like, you know, for the parents to go, oh, well, she's not who we thought she was. Like she was, she just liked, you know, fucking. For her conservative parents to know, in inverted commas, they had a very conservative, well-to-do daughter then. But just not think about it.

It is what it is. You know, it's just like it's died with her, and I think that's like a really dignified-like thing. I would 100% do that for a friend. Okay. Have you heard those like, what is it, like death pact? If I go first, like can you fucking delete this app from my phone or fucking whatever?

Can you please delete my internet browsing history? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You need to start using incognito, mate. I can't tell you again. So from that beautiful, dignified story, I would like to present an anonymous doggy styler confession. Sorry, this is actually fucked.

Anonymous doggy styler confesses. I was at this girl's house. Low-key username that they've used. I like that. Oh, I'll use something anonymous. What can I do? You know what I mean? Like, oh, yeah, fuck.

Like, hmm, the story, like. Sorry, this has reminded me of my favourite fucking tweet on the internet right now that I've seen a thousand times and I piss myself laughing every single time. Do you mean your favourite ex that you've seen recently? Come on, Kat. Comedy. Comedy. So, LeBron James.

LeBron James. LeBron James. LeBron James is like one of the younger sons. LeBron James Jr. Yeah. Has just started playing in high school. Cool. And he said, I'm not going to wear dad's number 23.

Yeah. Because I don't want anyone to know who's my father. And then the guy goes, can you imagine the courtside announcement? And number four, LeBron James Jr. Who the fuck's this guy? Unknown talent, LeBron James Jr. Who the fuck's this guy? Unknown talent, LeBron James Jr. But he's not number 23. Who could it be?

Yeah, my God. Are you okay? The Dwayne Wade's cousin? Oh, Michael Jordan's son. Explain. Yeah, fucking hell. I appreciate not wanting to be in Dad's shadow, but maybe he's given the game away elsewhere.

Yeah. Also, LeBron turned probably out the game. Yeah. You know? And there's one of the greatest players of all time just standing in the corner, like, just watching random children. Yeah. Who knows who he's attached to?

Anyway, yes. Anonymous Doggy Styler has a confession. I was at this girl's house. We were fooling around on the couch when she invites me to the bedroom. Hot. And I notice her dog Trevor is snoozing in the room. The name Trevor for a dog, that's very funny. We get down to business and ironically find ourselves doing it doggy style.

I was behind. Stop. Stop right the fuck now. Stop right the fuck now. Stop right the fuck now. I don't want to hear it. I actually just want to move on with my life. Maybe we could do your love to see it,

then we could go the fuck home. I was behind her. Trevor came behind me and started licking my balls. I tried to shoo him away a few times. But I was nearing completion and didn't want to stop. Trev, it turns out, didn't want to stop either. When I finally finished, it was like an out-of-body experience. That I've never been able to achieve since. Because it felt so nice.

Me and the girl are no longer together, but I saw on Facebook the other day that the dog had died and I shed a tear for my boy Trevor and the orgasm of my life. Miss you, Trev. Thanks for the memories. Nah. I only just realised that both confessors were dead confessors today. Well, he's not dead.

The dog's dead. Yeah. He's not dead. Yeah, but Trevor's the hero. So they're both grieving friends that have sent their confessions in. Oh, fuck. That is so grim. Surely, Fucking hell.

I just don't ever see myself being in a position where removing the dog is not the priority. Well, this was the anonymous doggy style. I said, oh, after hearing the dog in the room chat the other day, I felt compelled to share. And to be fair, the anonymous doggy style, I tried to get rid of the dog earlier and she was like, no, it's all good. Very all good. I mean, the editorial on how good it might have been is probably a bit OTT for me. I have a question.

Forget about the dog and the specifics of this scenario. Uh-huh. Is there something to be said for when you're getting close to finishing that it's just like, don't distract. We've done the work to get here. I don't want to say let sleeping dogs lie, but. But surely that would be distracting enough, though. Yeah.

Oh, but like, you know, if they like want to change positions, no, no, like just don't like we've found the spot. Like don't. No, I like it here. Or when you go, oh, I think I can hear something in the next room. And it's like, just don't like, you know what I mean? Like the concept. Do you understand the concept?

No, no, no. I get what you're saying. I'm not going to like No, no, no. I get what you're saying. I'm not going to, like, hang you out to dry. I know what you're saying. But a dog licking balls is too far. But, well, that would be the distraction. It's not like, oh, just put that out of my mind. Like, that is happening.

And that's, like, that would surely be like, oh, hang on. Like. I think that he liked it, though. He said he did. It's not. There's no think. There's no whisper. It's like he said he did.

Yeah. But, like, that's fucked. Whether he, like,'s not, there's no think, there's no whisper. It's like he said he did. Yeah. But like that's fucked. Whether he, like, you know, that's fucked. So it's like you would have had to go, yo, let's just stop for one second. You get started again. Like that's fine. But maybe when Trev is elsewhere. And I think that that would have been an appropriate.

Is this story, and I'm not saying it wasn't bad anyway. Yeah. But is it kind of worth that the dog's name was Trevor? I mean, that does make it sound a bit like her dad was there. Yeah, Trev was there and, you know, like that's a big. The neighbor's plumber. That sounds like a sex movie. Having a look at the paths, yeah.

The neighbor's plumber. And I introduced her to the neighbor's plumber. Yeah, you know what I mean? R.I.P. to... Trevor and the dildo friend. Yeah. Hey, this is Alana from Penrith and you're listening to Tony and Ryan. A massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Kaelin, thank you so much, Kaelin.

Jose Garcia, Nibbles the Gerbil. You may have remembered Nibbles popping up during the live stream. Sam Hocking and Courtney Bryan. Courtney Bryan John. Courtney Bryan John. Thanks for coming. Thanks so much for being part of our Patreon. There's heaps of good shit over there.

You can check it out at the link in our bio and our show notes. I have for months been contemplating getting an Apple Watch. I want to be a steps guy. I want to get my steps up. And I think, like everyone, the barrier between anyone and being fit isn't them doing the work. It's buying things. Could not agree more. So now that I've bought the Apple Watch, it's its job to do the extra.

To do the stuff, yeah. Or you go, oh, I'll just want to do it because i want to use my new thing yeah it's like when you buy new shoes and you go oh well i'll just want to walk because i've got these great new shoes tony i know you don't like clapping as a sound engineer i know you don't like clapping on the podcast but can i ask that you reconsider briefly yesterday i completed 10,000 steps. Oh, that's massive. Thank you.

Good job. Thank you. What was the, this sounds really stupid, but what was the scenario? Like, did you find that you did 10,000 steps, like, by accident? Did you go for a massive walk? Nah, so I think for whatever dumb reason that 10,000 steps is just, like, this milestone. You know, it's like a round number and everyone, you know,

it's like that's what all the blogs say or whatever. Yep. And I went shopping yesterday to get some bits and pieces. Yep. And I'd realised that, like, I'd done a few during the day and then I took BJ for a walk last night and went and I think this is the beauty of the watch. Yep.

Is when I noticed I was getting into, like, the mid-eighths, I went. You're like, I can do this. I was like, fuck, if I'm a mid-8s. You're like, I can do this. I was like, fuck, if I'm a mid-8s. Oh, mate, I totally agree. I think it actually, as stupid as it sounds, I think it is a powerful tool for that reason because you can track it and you go, fuck, I'm getting close. I'll just do a little bit more.

Like you're not going to leave and because usually walking BJ is the last thing I do for the day and then I'll go home and go to bed. And so you're like, well, I'm not going to finish the day on 9,600. Yeah. You're going to just churn out the last couple. Yeah. And so that's how it came about. You know how you can check your steps on your phone?

It's not quite as whatever. It's, yeah. Go check your steps when we did the live stream. Oh, no way. It's like 80. Like it was comedically. I reckon it would be less than that yeah it's like it was it was me walking to the toilet like that's it yeah so it was so funny because you know how it goes oh you last few months and then i kind of went oh what's happened there and then i went oh that was the live stream fuck we really it's like negative steps people

walked on me that's how negative it was. So I think this is the first time you've seen me wearing the Apple Watch. You got some comments, do you? So you're actually not normally a watch guy either. No, I'm not a watch guy. So I've never seen you wearing a watch. Yeah. So it feels just odd.

Odd. It feels like wearing it. Yeah, because same with your wedding ring. Like whenever you wear your wedding ring, I'm like, oh, that doesn't, you didn't even feel the right finger just then. No, it's the other hand. Oh, yeah. Oh, he's fucked up.

But, well, no, it just like it looks weird because you don't do it all the time. Do you not like the band? I don't love the band. But, so it's like a khaki green kind of, but it's like the regular Apple sports band. Well, they have all these bright fancy ones and I wanted something a bit more nonchalant, so I thought like a dull green or a brown

or just something that's just like, oh, maybe I should have got the black, but even that can feel a bit extreme. I don't like the sports band, like the band that you've got that comes with the watch. I don't like that band. Do you know you can spend, there was a, is it pronounced Hermes? Oh, Hermes, I think.

Yeah. You can spend. I only know that because of Princess Diaries. For anyone that's listening, when she goes, Hermes scarves, and she goes, it's Hermes. It's Hermes. So, sorry, I'm new to the Apple Watch game. I didn't realize you can just like chop and change bands.

Yeah, you just slide the thing out. Yeah. You can pay like $5,000 for a men's one. Yeah, and they do like a, there's like a Nike one that you can get as well, which is a few hundred bucks. Yeah, and then so this is like the stock. Do you want the green one? Yep.

Great. Yeah. So I have the stock one. So I've fucked up when I got my Apple Watch. You know when you buy something for the person you wish you were rather than being honest and buying it for yourself? You know when you buy a pair of jeans and you go, I'll get the smaller size because I'll drop a bit of weight?

Excuse me, I bought the watch for the athlete that I am. Well, you know what I mean? Yeah, I do. So I was like, oh, you know what? I'll get rose gold. I'm not a rose gold guy. No, that's not who you are. Why didn't I get plain black?

Yeah. And at the time it was like a bundle. You get the rose gold face and it's a pink band. It's like so not me. It's the only pink thing I own. What were you doing that day? I don't know. You in a mood?

I must have been. Otherwise, why else did i end up with a pink fucking apple watch and it's not like i can just change it because it's so expensive yeah they're fucked because it's not even i don't even have the black face it's like a rose gold face yeah it's a whole fucking thing anyway you know how you owed me money yeah yeah i bought this on the work card yeah that's fine that's fine could i buy myself a black one with the work card but then you would owe me money again. Okay. Then you just buy another Apple Watch. Yeah, okay.

But, yeah, so I fucked mine up. So I appreciate that you've done the right thing for you. I've had it this week only. This Apple Watch has been banned from the bedroom. What? Do you mean bedroom as in like? The boudoir. Yeah, but do you mean like it's been banned from the bedroom,

like you have to leave it on charge elsewhere or like during sexy time? Like are you saying like let's go to the bedroom in that bedroom way or just like I can't have it in my room? The second one. Okay. So what I like about phones now, do you know how they're like getting smarter so and phones and like i mean the screen of a phone the screen of a watch same same um you can see the time without like turning them on you know how it's got that like dull see there you can see the time

oh sure my phone just goes black right but then when i lift it up it goes oh you've lifted me up and it like illuminates itself oh yeah yeah and so that's the set the default setting on the apple watch so like you don't have to like press a button to like turn it on you just like lift it up it's called that raise to wake yeah yeah and so when you want to check the time you just raise your wrist and it turns the thing on yep and so that's the default setting now when i sleep i'm like i toss and turn all night yeah but everyone just like moves during the night yeah and so i haven't quite like nailed my settings and shit and so bridget said every time you rolled over the room lit up lit up yeah i said the other day when you

had you used the the torch yep and i felt like a criminal in my own house. Bridget described me in the bed as, you know, the start of a movie that's made by Fox Studios and it's like. Oh, the searchlight. Like a searchlight. Yeah. And so I'm oblivious. Because you're a slug.

I roll over and she just like. She probably thought you were being raided or something. Yeah, so she's like, and she just like flash the stash like and she's like and because she's like i know you've been busy i didn't want to like wake you yeah and when you've got a baby like sleep is it a premium you know and so she's like but all and and then it would go dark for a few minutes and then you'd move again then you'd roll over and then be fucking bright lights going crazy and shit oh and so i mean can i change this yes okay do you want me to tell you where the setting is well you can't now because

it's run out of battery um i'm just wearing it for effect because we're talking about it um so what i did was is i took it out of the room and then haven't worn it um sure and that's why it's dead because you haven't charged it or anything. Because the charge is next to it. Because I was like, yeah, I'm going to put it next to my bed and charge it. So there's a theatre setting. Ooh. And it's like the two like theatre masks, you know,

like the happy and sad like drama masks. Okay. And that's the setting. And it's so that when you move, it doesn't turn on. So when I'm doing like on my Apple Watch, you know how I went through that sleep tracking phase. So it did like. Are you still doing that? I haven't done it in ages. I don how I went through that sleep tracking phase? Yeah. So it did like- Are you still doing that?

I haven't done it in ages. I don't even know where my fucking watch is. Yeah. That's probably hanging out with my wedding ring somewhere. Yeah. Oh, yeah. And the two of them, they're always getting funky, aren't they? Sounded like they were having an affair.

They're off at an Airbnb down the coast. And so that if you're in like the cinema or in a theater or whatever, if you put your hand up, it wouldn't turn on. Yeah. And so I use that one when I'm sleeping. So you literally have to either tap it or, like, squeeze that button on the side. Yeah, I think that's what I want. Yeah, yeah.

I'll show you how to do it when you charge your watch. But, yeah, because I did the same thing. I was sleeping with it and I would, like, so I sleep, like, sometimes with, like, my hand, like, under my face. Do you wake up with a dead hand? Well, yeah, I do. Pinned your needles? But I was, like, my face do you wake up with a dead hand well yeah i do needles and but i was like like this and then i would get a note if something would go off or whatever and it would be like in my face oh yeah um yeah so i was like there has to be a better way

okay great great because i was ready to throw this watch in the bin yeah um so i thought that you were gonna say that it's been banned in the bedroom, like been banned in the bedroom because, like, obviously, like, if you say, I'm going for a walk and you set walk, sometimes it detects activity. Oh. So if you start going for a walk. It's like a heart rate thing? Yeah, or just, like, the movement, I guess. So if you start going for a walk, it goes, are you on a walk?

Does it? Yeah. Okay. So if you're walking fast a walk, it goes, are you on a walk? Does it? Yeah. Okay. So if you're walking fast enough and your heart rate gets high enough, like it says like, oh, are you exercising? So does it ask you if you're doing the hippity-dippity? Well, it doesn't ask you if you're doing that, but it is like, oh. Tony, your heart rate's lifted.

Are you on top? That was too much. That was too much. But it has like alerted that it's like, oh, something's going on here. And it just, like, double checks for you. Would that be a... So that's what I thought it was going to say. Has that happened to you?

Has it, like, asked you, are you doing something? Huh? Today? I'm not... Just say I don't know where it is, is what I said before. But it does say, oh, something's going on here. What's that? It does do that.

And that's what I thought that you meant, that you've been doing something and then went, oh, no. Thanks for bringing that up, though. Yeah. Just a warning. Thank you. Oh, I consider myself warned. What do you love to see?

I saw this in our Facebook group from Sophie Louise. Thank you so much for sharing that, Sophie. Tony and Ryan podcast on Facebook. Everyone can join. It's where we get all our no's and ah's. How you love to see it, everything. Sophie says, I just offered for my daughter to listen to a kids' art podcast. Great.

So there's like, I didn't even know this was a thing. There's like kids' podcasts and they're just like short and there's like little science ones and art ones and stuff. I didn't know that was a thing. But after I read this, I was like, is that a thing? And there's like a kids' podcasts and they're just like short and there's like little science ones and art ones and stuff. I didn't know that was a thing. But after I read this, I was like, is that a thing? And there's like a kids' section. Absolutely, yeah. Well, I just had never thought about it before. Pretty cool.

Anyway, I read out the artist's name so she could pick which episode she wanted to listen to and one was Tony. And she gasped and got excited and said, oh, like Tony and Ryan. Yes. Without us getting and Ryan. Yes. Without us getting a cut. Yeah. Not what I thought you were going to say just then. What did you think I was going to say?

I thought maybe you were going to say a swear word. Don't know where that was going, but I thought. Whoa. Yeah. Well, that wouldn't be in the kids episode version. I hope not. Imagine if it was this, just like a cut down version. And it was like, I'll be like, welcome to the show.

Bye. See you tomorrow. That reminds me of the porn I watched in Malaysia. What? We bought a porno in Malaysia, but because it was. Don't say we as if I was there. And a group of friends. Yeah.

You know, the famous pirate one? No. Anyway, so because it was. What? Sorry. Stick with me. No, I don't think I can. Because it was in Malaysia, a conservative country,

they took the sex scenes out of the porno. So there was just a lot of, oh, is that right? Well, why don't you come into my office and we'll talk about that some more. Why were they in an office if they were pirates? There's a pirate business to attend to. But there was a lot of like, we'll sort that out in the... What's the room? Galley?

In the galley. And then you just see them come out of the galley and be like, oh, I'm glad we've got that sorted. And then the movie ends after 10... Like, it's a two-hour movie that went for seven minutes because they took all the stuff out. So, what's the pirate porno that you're saying is famous? I've never heard of that.

Well, at the time, it was like the most expensive porno ever made because it had like CGI and pirate ships and it was this big crazy thing. Oh. Yeah, so and hence we were like, oh, you know, you buy a DVD at the market in Asia. Yeah. Oh, it's $1.50. Great.

But they'd taken all the porn out. So this two-hour long movie went for eight minutes and we went, well, of course, when you take the sex scenes out of a porno, there's just some random acting. Pirates of the Flickin' My Caribbean. That's actually what it's called. Is it? No.

It's a piss take of Pirates in the Caribbean. Yeah, right. Okay, cool. Thanks for sharing that, Sophie, about your beautiful daughter picking a podcast. Does anyone else hear a word like in context and then you kind of just like assume you know what it means yeah and then a similar context will come up so you kind of just throw it out there yeah and you just hope that you packed it in yeah all the time yeah so

my love to see it is sarah rose uh describing me Ryan, as an excellent... The irony of you fucking that up. An excellent contributor and ambassador of the English language. Her words, not mine. Thanks to Ryan... Okay, okay. Let me set the scene. Twelve years ago, Sarah Rose used the word conniption. Oh, yeah.

In a year 10 English creative writing assignment. And the year 10 English creative writing assignment. And the year 10 English teacher pulled her aside afterwards and goes, what does conniption mean? And she realised that she'd just heard it one time, kind of assumed she knew what it meant. But when specifically asked, like, what does this word mean? She was like, oh, it's sort of like, and she couldn't really explain it that well.

And so the teacher goes, well, that's not a word and kind of like marked her down for it. And that was 12 years ago. so it's one of those do you ever have those childhood memories that still just you just remember it and it just irks you yeah she goes it's fucked me off for 12 years because i'm like i know it's a word i'd never really heard anyone else say it says saros until now when ryan in a recent episode used the word conniption, I was sitting in the middle of my very quiet workplace and I fucking lost it. She's like, yes, vindication.

It is a real word that other people use. Fuck that teacher from 12 years ago. She didn't think to Google it before now. Again, not an academic type. Okay. Sure. So you guys, a lot in common. To be fair, that was also my first thought.

If only there was this magical tool. Or even a dictionary 12 years ago. The Encyclopedia Britannica. Do you remember those? The Encyclopedia Britannica. Yeah, when they've got a research assignment. So you go, oh. And it was like the letter T.

Yeah, I do remember those. We had a set of encyclopedias that my mum and dad probably brought from a catalogue or something, but they'd bought them, like, for my older brothers and sisters, and they're all, like, 10-plus years older than me. So by the time it got to me using them, all the shit was fucking out of date. Yeah. Like, none of the stuff was right anymore, and I remember being like,

oh, mum, I'm doing, like, an assignment. She's like, yeah, well, the encyclopedias are up in the thing. And I went, I don't know if they're going to like cut the mustard. And I remember writing like a fucking something about Wales or whatever and being like, Mum, like we need to. I'm doing an assignment on Australia and it was founded last year. We need the internet. Fuck, come on, Mum.

But my love to see it is obviously being described as an excellent contributor and ambassador of the English language. Big for you. Big for me. And also something that's big for me is proving English teachers wrong because I've never met an English teacher that I didn't fucking hate. Yeah, that's fair. They're all assholes.

They all think they're better than me and fuck the lot of you. So, Sarah, you and me, we're together. I love how you started this story with, have you ever thought about something from your childhood that still bothers you apparently we found yours as well all english teachers are horrible bastards i told my english teacher it was in year 11 and the teachers said ryan what do you want to do when you finish high school and i said i'd like to go to university and study Whatever and I hadn't even finished the sentence And he goes university you And laughed in my face Where the fuck is that now

Hopefully dead Mr Cabell Yeah fuck you Mr Cabell That is a horrible thing to say to any kid Yeah fuck that guy Fuck that guy Fuck you Mr Cabell So when I get worked up about English teachers. Yeah.

I've let it go. I've moved on. I haven't. I've thought about it every day since it happened. Yeah. Every time I balls up a word, I go, fuck, Mr Cabell will be like, see, told you. Oh, fuck, what a dick. I hate that guy.

But little did he know that I was going to grow up to be an excellent contributor ambassador of the English language. Fuck, he'd be turning his grave hearing those words, wouldn't he? Yeah, well, hopefully he is dead. Sorry, Mr Cabell, if you have died, rest in peace. But that was nasty. Is it more mean or less mean if he's still alive? I think it's worse if he's dead. So hopefully he's still alive to hear you say, fuck you, I wish you were dead.

Yeah, but if he's dead, then may God rest his soul. Fuck, this is dark and I wish I used a fake name for Mr Cabell. Oh, and we keep saying Mr Cabell as well. There's no way that cam can beep out all the Mr Cabells. Mr Cabell, Mr Cabell, Mr Cabell. All right, see you tomorrow. Love you. Bye.

Fuck Mr. Kvær